i could have gotten drunk six times

anonymous asked:

"it's six in the morning you're not having vodka" with McCree👀

Aha I can’t think of anyone better for this prompt, yes. Hope you enjoyed insanely drunk Mccree.

NO PRONOUNS USED/male/female/other


You had fallen asleep around 1am after watching a few movies, your partner Jesse had gone out with the boys. He’d been so busy with work, all the missions running him ragged that you thought he could do with a night out. He asked over and over if it was ok, he knew you two hadn’t gotten to spend much time together over the last week or so but you had assured him you wanted him to go and have fun, let loose.

He went off after giving you a big kiss, pulling you into a hug before he rushed off to meet the others. You were fast asleep on the sofa, a blanket pulled over you, so peaceful, that was until the door burst open. There stood Jesse Mccree in the door way, or rather slumped over a very unamused looking Hanzo. 

Well you assumed he was pissed off, all you could see was his mouth since Jeeses hat was placed on his head. 

“Here, he is your problem now” Hanzo said wth a sigh and helped Jesse over to the sofa where he less then elegantly tripped over his own foot and face planted the couch cushions behind you.

“Heeey darlin’” came his charming southern drawl mixed with your typical drunken slur.

“Thanks Hanzo, I owe you a coffee or something” you offered with a small smile, rubbing your eyes.

He made a noise before taking off the hat and setting it on the table by the door as he left. You sighed and looked at Jesse who was still in the awkward position of his legs off the couch and face buried against the backrest, a huge goofy grin plastered all over his face as he made grabby hands towards you. 

That had been a nice nights sleep until you had been rudely dragged from it, you yawned and moved the blanket.

“How much have you been drinking?” you ask as you sit up and tried to adjust him, bringing him to flop on you instead. His face now nuzzling your lap as he climbed further onto the large sofa.

“I don’t know wha’ you implin’ darlin’” Jesse said with a happy hum, strong arms wrapping around your middle.

“Uhhuuuh…” You roll your eyes.

“Come on, lets get you into bed hm?” You untangled yourself from his limbs and tried to stand but he was having none of it, pulling you back down, he’d sat up in the time it took you to stand up yourself, and now you found yourself on his lap, those same arms around you once more, face complete with blissful grin nuzzling the crook of your neck.

“Can’t wait to get me into bed huh?” a cheesy grin and eyebrow waggle from your very drunk boyfriend caused you to snort laugh, but turned around enough to give him a kiss.

“If you come to bed now I’ll let you have a fondle” you joked but the look on his face said he was up for that. The two of you got up from the sofa, you had to help him along to your shared room. 

Once inside you helped him remove his boots and the more awkward parts of his outfit, once you were sure he could at least handle taking off his own underwear you headed to the livingroom to turn off the TV and try and sort the miniature bomb site drunk Jesse had caused. When you returned to the bedroom Jesse was nowhere to be found, you rubbed your face, just wanting to curl up with your man and enjoy the next day with him.

There was a loud bang, the shower coming to life followed by singing, some old western country song by a person long dead. Ah that’s where he had gone. You were not prepared for what you saw, not in a million years. Jesse Mccree, one of the best gunslingers known to man, an agent of overwatch, once part of the feared Deadlock gang…

In the shower, still in his boxers, singing into a bottle of vodka before taking sips of it. “It’s six o’clock in the morning, you’re not having vodka.” You yelled once you came out of your trance and jumped into the shower with him, not caring if your night clothes got wet. 

You took the bottle from him and tried to find the lid, nowhere to be seen you set it down. Jesse turned, not with wet hair covering his eyes and boxers clinging to his form, he wrapped his arms around you pulling you flush against his chest. “Well I did always wanna try shower sex" 

“You are impossible Mccree..”

2

ya lit meme: [5/12] otps → kaz and inej

She’d laughed, and if he could have bottled the sound and gotten drunk on it every night, he would have. It terrified him.