i could have added like 90 more

My asexuality/”why awareness is important” story

When I was a teen, growing up in a small town in 1980s Mississippi, there were only 2 options as far as I knew:  Either you were gay or your were straight.  Because I was exceedingly liberal for the time and place (though probably less liberal than I am now) and because I wanted desperately to leave Mississippi, I spent a lot of time learning as much as I could about the outside world.  I spent hours at the library my high school shared with the local university reading the Village Voice and dreaming of going in New York City.    Because of this, and because I was a huge fan of Erasure, I figured out that there was nothing wrong with being gay.  Which was good, because I knew I wasn’t straight.  I couldn’t be:  I liked looking at pretty guys too much, and I got crushes on my male friends.

On the other hand, I also knew that I liked looking at pretty girls too, and I regularly developed crushes on my female friends.  So I lay awake at night, my thoughts spinning in my head  “I like boys, so I can’t be straight.  But I like girls, so I can’t be gay.  But I like boys…”  Repeat ad nauseum.

Fast forward to the early 90s.  I was going to college in New Orleans.  This exposed me to much more of the world than I would have seen had I remained in Mississippi.  But it didn’t bring me any closer to figuring things out until my second semester, when there was a rash of people in the dorm coming out as bisexual.  Aha!  A lightbulb went on in my head.  THIS must be what I was.  I could like both boys and girls!  But something still didn’t feel right.  Though I made out with people and liked it, I passed up chances to have sex with people of both genders.  Finally one of my female friends basically harassed me into sleeping with her (at the time I didn’t recognize date rape for what it was - the early 90s were a much less aware time, at least for me).  And when I met the woman who later became my wife, she was the one who made the first move sexually, as well as the second and third moves and most of the others.  

Fast forward again, last 2015.  My wife and I are still together and have had 2 kids.  But no one looking at our sex life would ever mistake it for a “normal” sex life (to the extent that there is such a thing).  But I still feel that something’s not right.  I’m not unhappy, but at the same time, my main feeling about sex is a resounding “meh.”  I research various fetishes and relationship styles on the internet, but nothing really feels right - some seem like they might be a lot of fun, but the whole idea just collapses for me once genitals get involved.  When I watch a TV show about pickup artists, and besides being repulsed at all the dishonesty involved, my thought is “That seems like an awful lot of work for sex.”  

Then one day I stumbled on a page about the difference between romantic orientation and sexual orientation.  And then I learn about asexuality.  And finally, after all this time, I figured it out.  I’m panromantic and asexual.  All of a sudden so many things from my past made sense.  SO MANY THINGS!  And while I’m very glad that I understand it now, I’m also rather frustrated at the time lost because I didn’t have this knowledge years and years before.  I could have been spared so much mental anguish and so many sleepless nights if I had known.

Which brings us to why I think awareness is important:  Because kids aren’t going to be straight just because they don’t know about the alternatives.  They’ll still be whatever they are; they’ll just feel confused and agitated and WRONG because they don’t fit in to the alternatives that they’ve been told about.

The Heroine, a standalone character or just a proxy?

Heroines, lately the discussion about this topic often comes up in the fandom. And, to be honest it’s a problematic topic since who is a good Main character and who is not, its a question of tastes, time and culture. Why it is like that and what really makes a protagonist interesting in otome game will be now analyzed.

Keep reading

So, for chapter 24, it may require me to have some time  (like a few weeks) to analyze the Uprising arc in the manga to try and figure out what I could still use in Rogue. It’s more complex than I remember and I may just end up dumping 90% of the content or reworking it to fit the Titan Eren AU. I already know I’m adding several scenes, but bare with me as I try to figure out how to write the chapter :)

anonymous asked:

I've noticed that Wanda has had so many different body types over the years; and even vastly different ones in simultaneous books. Recently she's been portrayed as willowy model-like or curvy mom-like, but I've even seen her as short or sinewy or plump in other places. Which do you think is most fitting, or does it not matter at all?

Wanda has, more or less, a Standard Marvel Woman body. According to Word of Handbook, she is 5′7′’ (or about 173 cm), the Baby Bear of heights. Other 5′7′’ Marvel women include: Polaris, Black Widow, Rachel Grey, Jessica Jones, etc. Sue Storm and Jean Grey are both 5′6′’.

Functionally, what being a handbook 5′7′’ means is that her height is unremarkable. She is neither tall enough nor short enough for it to be noteworthy. There are plenty of taller Marvel women (whether or not they would be drawn as taller is another issue), but that doesn’t mean she’s short. If I were to wager a guess, I’d say 5′6′’ or 5′7′’ are considered the ideal height for women in America.

That’s how her body is in general. While women in the background in comics sometimes have a variety of body shapes, speaking, named, reoccurring, important-to-the-plot women are afforded less options. That main one being skinny with big boobs.

There are women who are usually drawn with distinct bodies, like Power Girl or She-Hulk, but those are exceptions. More often than not, women are drawn with no or very little variation between them, and whatever body diversity (or the illusion thereof) that we have comes from different artists with different styles rendering characters differently, not from a concerted effort to differentiate between them.

 If there is anything that’s been unique about Wanda’s body over the past few years, it’s… well… take it away, Coipel.

from Uncanny Avengers Vol. 1 #5

In this issue, the women don’t look the same. Wasp is not just noticeably shorter; she’s also petite. You would not confuse her tiny, little body with Wanda’s even if they were wearing the same outfit and somehow lost their heads. But the difference in their bodies doesn’t mean Wanda has been freed from skinny with big boobs. Here is the side view of her body:

Still definitely skinny. This is just a more extreme version of skinny with big boobs.

This somehow got really long. There’s more under the cut, including: some very frank Cho-ish Frank Cho art, my Thoughts On Power Girl™, and that time Doctor Doom called Carol Danvers a “fat piece of furniture.”

Keep reading

Answering the Questions

One of the first stories I ever wrote was for an American Lit class my junior year of high school. I can’t remember the book we read, but it was by a woman? took place in the south? After we finished the book everyone had to write a paper. I don’t remember there being specific instructions–the teacher probably intentionally left it open-ended.

I was terrible in this class. I was not good at writing in high school, and I was not good at remembering what the symbolism of Moby Dick was when the teacher called on me and waited for me to answer, and I was definitely not good at writing essays about falling actions or why the denouement added something important to the story.

So I didn’t know what to write. I had enjoyed the book, liked the protagonist, but couldn’t even begin to tell you what was motivating the antagonist and why the knife is the same color as her door or whatever. And then I thought: maybe I could just write more of the story. Like, what happens after the last chapter. What are the characters doing 6 months after the end of the book.

(This was the early 90s. It makes sense and all seems so obvious now but I didn’t have the vocabulary for fanfic then. The idea of doing something with someone else’s characters wasn’t handed to me, it was just the only thing that made sense to me at the time, based on my options.)

I decided to write a story for my essay. Like, actual fiction. But was that dumb? I told my plan to some of my friends (who got better grades and were actually good at school). A friend of mine from that class, easily one of the smartest people in our grade, looked straight at me and said: “I would not do that.”

But I had no Plan B. So the night before it was due (¯\_(ツ)_/¯) I sat down to write this story and had no idea what to even write. Like where do you even start. It was totally overwhelming. With no plan or ideas and my panic rising with every passing second along with the sense that I had better start writing SOMETHING, I started writing a list of the questions I was stressed about:

  • What happens in the story
  • Where does it take place
  • What does the room look like
  • Who are the characters
  • What are they doing at the beginning of the story
  • Who else do we meet
  • What is the problem that needs to be solved
  • What happens at the end


I filled a page with questions like this and then two things happened:

  1. as I started asking myself these questions the story started appearing as an image in my mind, and
  2. I realized writing the story was just a matter of answering these questions.


So I wrote the answers as best as I could and then I wrote the story.

A great ending to this anecdote would be the teacher being blown away and me getting an awesome grade (And I do have a story like that! But this isn’t it.). I probably got a B for the paper. I remember the teacher being more interested in my process than the end result. I showed her the list of questions I’d asked myself and she held it up to the class and said “This was a good idea”.

(Sounds like a great teacher, right? She was hateful, one of my least favorite teachers ever. You can’t choose your moments.)

Writing this out now I realize how similar this is to a method Lynda Barry teaches. Start with a single word. That word conjures an image. Ask yourself questions about that image:

  • Where are you
  • What’s to your left and right?
  • What’s beyond what’s to your left and right?
  • What time of year is it?
  • What do you smell?
  • Who’s there?
  • Who’s on their way there, who just left?


and then after you answer those questions just start writing.

You don’t have to know what you’re doing before you start moving your pencil or your cursor. When you don’t know where to start, just start anywhere. Directly addressing what you don’t know makes it safe for you to not know it.

I mention this now because I unlocked this secret about writing my first time out of the gate, and then promptly forgot about it for 20 years. I would like to not forget it again. (I will.)

“GameLine”

  • Electronic Games Magazine, November 1983
  • via The Internet Archive
  • Another day, another ad for something ahead of its time. Meet GameLine, the download service that brought Atari and Commodore games to you through your phone line. Downloading a game with a a phone line is laughable now (or traumatic, if you were a ‘90s kid) now that we have more widely-available broadband but for a long while, things like this was as good as it got.

    As the ad describes, owners used a special cart (plus an expansion, for C64 users) that hooks up to their phone. You were charged, of course: playing one round of a game would cost you 10 cents. (Talk about really bringing home the arcade experience!)  Not only that, but the ad claims that owners were also tied into a ‘network’, where they could play in competitions for prizes: how it worked, I don’t know.

    As antiquated as this is I’m actually impressed: based on what I’ve been so far, this may be technology’s oldest example of online gaming and digital distribution! (And game industry scalping, if you want to be a smartass.)