i could be illegal

keyed.

Originally posted by jiminnieseyesmile

3.8k words

members: jungkook, oc - reader

genre: fluff

warnings: language

You were sick and tired of your attractive idiot neighbor blocking your driveway.

a/n: i felt like writing this weekend and this happened surprise surprise. this is what happens when i’m buzzed off of two venti macchiatos please leave me feedback TT


“What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

You blocked out the angry voice shouting at you from your neighbors now open door. The hurried footsteps were getting closer but you pretended you didn’t hear, continuing to drag your key along the shiny black BMW blocking your driveway. Before you could reach the back tires a hand grasped your wrist, turning you around to face your irritating neighbor.

“Oh! Hey there, neighbor,” you grinned, innocently eyeing your neighbor head to toe. He was dressed casually with his hair tousled as though he’d just woken up. His jaw was tense as his hands tightly held your wrist, nothing but anger found in his eyes. You weren’t sure of his first name but had seen him a few times in silent passing. He was relatively new to the neighborhood, keeping to himself along with his roommate you caught quick glimpses of as well. The two had moved in a month ago and you kept to yourself as well, not bothering to play nice and whip up a housewarming desert you couldn’t even properly bake. It wasn’t until a week ago that you realized your neighbors weren’t exactly your cup of tea. They had people over constantly whether they were attending their overcrowded house parties, movie nights or simply staying over till the sun came back up. It seemed whenever the two had guests around their parking lot quickly become full, causing a new issue to arrive. You noticed the brunette, tall one seemed to have a kick out of parking right in front of your light blue beetle making it impossible for you to maneuver around his pricey sports car. The parties seemed to hit an all time high and you constantly found yourself trapped in your own driveway. You left sticky notes on his windshield, kindly asking him to stop blocking your spot and occasionally he would but it wouldn’t take long for him to fall back into his routine. It wasn’t until he made you late to your job earning you a lengthy lecture from your boss, that you felt you’d had enough, storming outside to drag your keys along his prized possession.

Your decision making skills weren’t the best when you were angry.

Keep reading

5

What a nice thing to wake up to. Stay classy, Anon.

B99 Jealousy Headcanons

Shoutout to @sergeant-santiago for helping me out and to @iwantyoutochooseme for offering moral support. Love ya ladies!

Here are headcanons for the b99 characters getting jealous over people flirting with their significant others.

Jake Peralta:
• First of all, Jake is no Ross Gellar. He completely trusts Amy and knows that women aren’t sex machines and won’t just hop on any dick that shows them interest (*cough* They weren’t really on a break *cough*)
• Nevertheless, his blood boils whenever he sees a man undressing Amy with his eyes. That is NOT how you treat women!
• He knows Amy’s tough. She knows self defense and doesn’t need protection if a guy gets physical with her. Amy will put any guy in a headlock just like THAT if he makes a wrong move.
• Once Amy get’s the douchebag in a headlock she holds him still while Jake proceeds to lecture him about treating women with respect.
• After the lecture, Jake whips out his police badge and threatens to arrest him if he causes trouble again. He notifies the bartender to keep an eye on that man if he comes back so he won’t harass other women.
• If a man offers to buy Amy a drink, Jake becomes an over-the-top cocky cop. He flashes the badge and says “Did you know it’s illegal to flirt with a cop’s girlfriend? I could arrest you right now. Okay maybe that’s not true, but still, stop it.”
• Amy loves how cute Jake gets when he’s jealous. He doesn’t get angry, he doesn’t blame her for what she’s wearing, he doesn’t get controlling. He gives her space to handle it herself and steps in when he needs to.

Amy Santiago:
• Amy trusts Jake. She knows he only has eyes for her. She’s the only girl he ever sees. She finds it amusing when other girls flirt with him because of how freaking clueless he is.
• Whenever a girl offers to buy him a drink, he never sees it as flirting. He’s so oblivious. He always replies, “Actually, do you have any $1 bills for the vending machine?” or “No need for drinks, I need some quarters to refill the parking meter.” Amy chuckles and rolls her eyes at how adorable he is.
• If a girl can’t take the hint that Jake isn’t interested, Amy steps in. “Hi, I’m Amy. His girlfriend.” and shoots the girl a glare so intense that even Rosa would shiver (not really but you get the point) the girl backs off and Jake’s all “Wow she was really nice, she wanted to buy me a drink. You think I should’ve asked her to pay for my mozzarella sticks?”
• Amy facepalms. “Babe, she was flirting with you!” Jake’s eyes widen. “Ohhhhh, that makes more sense.” Amy pats him on his arm and kisses his cheek.

Rosa Diaz:
• You try to flirt with Gina? Ohhh boy. Ohhhhh booooyyyyyy. Don’t you dare. If you want to live to see tomorrow, don’t even look at her.
• It’s not that Rosa doesn’t trust Gina. She trusts Gina enough to tell her her address. Rosa’s just overprotective over the people she loves.
• Rosa’s keen on protecting her fellow women in general. Before Amy dated Jake and went on blind dates or met guys off Tinder, Rosa would secretly spy on them a few tables down. She was afraid the guy would be a creep or weirdo and slip a roofie in her drink. Rosa did that with all of her female friends. She doesn’t show it but she cares a lot about them.
• In fact, even when Rosa’s at a bar just chilling, her eagle eyes scan the crowd looking to see if any woman needs her help, if any guy is making unwanted advances to her.
• Anyways back to Gina. Flirt with her, you immediately get an angry Rosa grabbing you by the shoulders. “She’s not into you. Leave her alone.” That drives people away quick!
• Gina loves Jealous Rosa. Rosa’s so hot when she’s jealous. Well, she’s always hot, but you get the point.
• Gina loves teasing Rosa about how jealous she gets. “It’s not my fault that I’m desirable! I’m the best thing since sliced bread!” Then Gina tries to reassure her. “Gina Linetti is a lot of things. Smart, beautiful, amazing. Most of all, she’s loyal. I finally found a lifelong mate. Someone who’s as perfect as me. I’m not throwing you away for some peasant m.”
• That ends in Rosa and Gina running off to the nearest motel to go smoosh booties.

Gina Linetti:
• Okay first of all, Gina Linetti doesn’t get jealous. She gets “snarky”
• You think you’re good enough for Rosa Diaz? Your broke ass has the AUDACITY to flirt with her? Gina will DESTROY you!
• She’ll roast you. Not a light, marshmallows at the campfire roasts. A FLAMETHROWER roast. Straight up ARSON!
• “Who did your hair? Stevie Wonder?”
• “This ain’t the 90’s, chokers aren’t cool anyone. The only use for that is choking yourself.”
• “Did you steal that outfit from a referee?”
• “You’re so hairy that bigfoot tries to prove your existence!”
• You run away crying to your mommy. Rosa asks Gina “Was that really necessary?” Gina shrugs, “You’re my boo thang. Nobody gets to look at you like a hot piece of meat on a grill except me!” Once again, they run off a motel to smoosh booties.

Terry Jeffords:
• Like Jake, Terry respects women. He knows Sharon’s equipped with pepper spray and a pocket knife and can take care of herself. But he can’t help getting angry when people look at his wife like she’s a piece of meat.
• Anyone stares at Sharon, he shoots them a glare. If that doesn’t work, he flexes. To show the man exactly what he’s messing with. That usually gets him to back off.
• Sharon rolls her eyes whenever Terry tries to scare off them but she lowkey likes that he cares so much about her.
• Ohoooo but just WAIT until boys start flirting with Cagney or Lacy. They gonna have the scariest father-in-law ever!

Charles Boyle:
• Okay we’ve all seen how jealous Charles gets over Jake. It’s no different with Genevieve.
• He gets these sad puppy-dog eyes and Genevieve has to constantly reassure him that she only has eyes for him.
• She kisses him all over his face and he kisses back which leads to nasty stuff that only a Boyle would be turned on by

Captain Holt:
• Captain Holt don’t feel much emotion. He’s really straightforward.
• A woman flirts with Kevin? Holt flatly informs her “He is gay and my husband. You’re embarrassing yourself.”
• If a man flirts with Kevin, Holt simply says, “Can’t you tell he’s married by the ring on his finger? You have terrible tactical skills.”
• Same goes for Kevin when someone flirts with Holt
• It ends with them chuckling over how they’re both studs that get all the men and women that they want.
• Then they bone

Cheddar:
• Cheddar growls at the guests whenever he sees anyone standing near Holt or Kevin
• He doesn’t want anyone near his daddies. He demands constant bellyrubs from them
• Cheddar grows attached to Jake cuz Jake for some reason always smells like steak. He won’t let Amy go near Jake because he wants Jake all to himself.
• Gina always gives the best belly rubs. Cheddar always growls any one else who comes near her.
• Yes, I did include Cheddar in this. He’s just as important to the show as everyone else. Deal with it.

girl crush—

based on [x]

About purchasing the YOI BD/DVD vol.6 from overseas

I’m seriously so mad at Avex right now. Apparently they forced AmiAmi to cancel all the orders of YOI related BDs/DVDs/CDs, even the ones placed last year when the ban wasn’t announced yet. How could they do this ONE WEEK before it comes out? They seriously don’t care about overseas fans at all…
(I still don’t know about CDJapan, so far the orders placed on their site before the ban in February seem to be valid?)

Avex and their nonsense policy make me feel stupid for saying from the start “please purchase the BD/DVDs to support the series, don’t download it illegally”…

Anyway, I have thought about what I could possibly do to help people get the BD/DVD vol.6 without spending a lot of money in commissions from forwarding companies and such, and I have decided this:

I am offering to personally purchase the YOI BD/DVD vol.6 on behalf of people living abroad and ship it to them, charging almost no commissions.

Details below.

“Almost no commissions”
I will only ask you to pay for:
1) the actual cost of the BD or DVD
2) the PayPal transaction fee (I don’t know how much it is)
3) the fee PayPal charges me to withdraw money to my bank account (it’s 350 yen, but if enough people ask me to purchase a copy in their place I will lower it because I can withdraw all the money at the same time and only pay the fee once)
4) the packing and shipping fees to send the item to you (you can choose the shipping method and packing style)

How it works:

1) Upon request, I am going to purchase the BD or DVD vol.6 from a Japanese shop, at its regular price (only Amazon seems to have it for less but they only allow 1 copy per person so that won’t work). I may use different shops depending on how many requests I get and how many copies I can find. I will only use physical shops which I can reach with my train pass because otherwise I would need to charge you transport fees or domestic shipping fees as well.

2) I will calculate the packing fee & shipping fee to your country based on your requests (it can be shipped in a padded envelope or, if you are worried, I can look for a sturdier box) and give you the total. For the shipping I can also provide an estimate in advance if you wish.

3) I will wait for you to send me the payment and your full shipping address (payment will need to be in JPY and via PayPal).

4) I will ship you the BD/DVD.

As you can guess, unfortunately there is nothing I can do for the all-volume purchase bonus. I might be able to provide you the Animate (can badge) or Animega (postcard) vol.6 bonus, but I can’t guarantee so I might only provide it at random, as I might also have to use other shops which have no bonuses at all.

Why am I doing this?

Because I feel really sorry for all the people who had their order canceled and/or are left with no cheap ways to purchase the BD/DVD from overseas. If it happened to me I’d be twice as mad as I am now… I also feel partly responsible since I’ve always encouraged people to buy the BD/DVDs even if they had no subtitles and I suggested to use AmiAmi recently because they still had them available.

How to send a request

Please send me a message (via ask) here on Tumblr with your name, email address, country and the details of what you need (BD or DVD). If you need a shipping quotation or have any other questions let me know that too. I will send you an email with the details. (If you’re one of those who got their orders canceled from a shop, please let me know that as well)

How many requests can I accept?

I’m not sure about that, but as I live close to Tokyo and have access to all major parts of the city I should be able to provide enough (I have no idea how many people will ask me).
Should I need to limit the number, I will say so and update this post too.
Some shops like Animate and Animega can temporarily sell out right after the release date but usually they get more stock afterwards, so it’s only a matter of waiting.

I am getting basically nothing out of this (except Animate points if I buy from there I guess..), but I really feel sorry for what happened and hope that I can be of help to someone. I’m not sure whether I’ll be doing the same for the soundtrack or event BD/DVD, most likely not because that’s a different story, but at least people can complete their collection with the last volume…

(I’ll probably write a post with instructions on how to send a message to Avex to complain about this too…)

it’s late but here’s a david! 

3

PLEASE REPORT THIS ART THIEF!


honestly didn’t wanna do this and hoped i could resolve it by simply telling the person what they do is illegal and that this is my art but since they had the fucking nerves to tell me it isn’t mine as well as deleting my comment + blocking me i’m not holding back on this.


So please report this person and share this post! They also have a lot of other stolen Rick and Morty art.

Damian Wayne as a Father Headcanons

A/N: Reader and Damian are adults in these. I went all out on this, so I really hope you like the structure and everything. Feedback is welcomed. ☺️

(c/n) = child’s name

>>>>——————–>

Damian as a father would include:

Pregnancy:
> Damian was excited when you told him he was going to be a father, well as excited as Damian manages to express.

> He had his concerns about whether he was going to be a good father, based on his family background and upbringing he had his doubts. However after reassuring him, that he managed to change and has become a better person his worry subsided.

> Now when he goes out on patrol, he’s more cautious and careful as he now has two people to come home to and protect.

> Whilst you’re pregnant, Damian is extremely over protective with everything. You are not putting yourself in any danger and he’ll make sure of that. He understands he’s being this way and apologised, explaining he doesn’t want either of you hurt since you’re a prime target now.

> Catering to your cravings the best he can. Sort of.
“Pennyworth, we need some strawberries and hot sauce?”
“We’re currently out of strawberries Master Damian, Miss (Y/n) has cleared them out.”
“Ugh, I’ll be back shortly beloved.”
“Really? You have to leave me, I know you’re getting stuff for me but I’m kind of annoyed by that and I don’t know why.”
“Hormones (y/n).”

> Trying to comfort you when you get emotional, but since Damian isn’t the best at it he comes up with other solutions.
“I could punch you right now!”
“Beloved, that’d be a stupid move.”
“Oh really? Because I love you… a lot and I didn’t mean that!” You were still yelling and you weren’t sure why.
“How about throwing some knives instead?”
“What?! NO! That’s ridiculous and I’m actually willing to do it. You’re such a good partner for letting me do this.” By your last statement you were crying and pulling him into an embrace.

> Both of you low-key freaking out when the baby kicks and you’re just hugging each other with massive grins on your faces.

> Receiving visits from Damian’s family, all of which are super excited to be apart of it and looking forward to having a new member in the family.

> Dick encouraging Damian that’s he’s going to be a good father.

> Bruce still not quite getting the fact his son has a proper family that’s almost normal, but enjoys it none the less.
“Bruce, you know you’re going to be a granddad right?”
“Yes of course I do (y/n), Damian is going to be a father and to be honest… it all feels surreal.”
“Tell me about it. It’s gonna be great though.”
“It truly is.”


Labour:
> When your waters broke, Damian was with you since he’d estimated the most likely time it’d happen. This man was prepared, he was still the son of the original Batman.

> Damian drove you to the hospital as soon as possible, not in the Batmobile much to your disappointment but understood there’d be no easy way to explain that.

> Panicking and being exhausted throughout labour and Damian telling you to breathe.

> “Holy shit (y/n)!!!” Damian actually yelped when you squeezed his hand during labour.
“You’re not giving birth Dami!”
“You’re a lot stronger than I thought.”
“Yep, comes with being your significant other for so long! Ah shit!”
“Breathe beloved, breathe.”

> With over 10 hours in labour you finally had your child and you were exhausted.
“I did it - Dami I -”
“I know beloved, you are so strong. I’m proud of you (y/n), I love you so much.”
“Love you too.”

> Holding the baby and you simply can’t believe you’ve created something so pure, suddenly you forget all the pain because it was all worth it for this child in your arms.

> Damian holds them next, and is so smitten that you know this child is gonna be spoilt. He almost cried because he thought he was incapable of producing something this innocent, his family do not have a grip on his baby and they never will.

> The rest of the Batfam piling in minutes later hoping to see their new addition.
Dick is super enthusiastic about the whole ordeal and sheds a few tears, whilst promising to be the best uncle ever which was open to dispute.
Jason was smiling more than ever, saying “It’s up to (y/n) to make sure we don’t get another demon spawn in the family. Right now though, I’m really proud of you two.”
Tim making sure you’re alright, asking about names and how much the baby weighs before checking on the others.
Bruce is over the moon and is third to hold his grandchild, he’s quick to congratulate you both and offers for you to stay at the manor so they can all help to get you back on your feet.
Cassandra doesn’t say anything, instead hugging you tightly with a wide grin on her face then patting Damian on the shoulder who remained by your bedside.
“You’ll make a great auntie Cass.” And that only made her smile more.


General Child Raising:
> Taking turns to get up in the night when the baby wakes up.

> Morning cuddles because you’re both exhausted.

> The baby getting lots of attention and babysitters consisting of Damian’s family which you’re eternally grateful for.

> Damian still being smitten as you expected, you find yourself leaning on the doorframe and watching the two interact often, a smile making its way onto your face.
“Are you alright beloved?”
“Y-yeah, it’s nice to be apart of this family.”
You soon join the two.

> Damian teaching your child self defence from a young age and you’re not too thrilled with the idea.
“Oh my - Damian! Why does (c/n) have a katana?!”
“I’m teaching (c/n) how to wield the weapon beloved.”
“Y-yeah, couldn’t you have started with a wooden one. A real one isn’t exactly safe for a 5 year old!”
“I did. At the age of 3. (C/n)’s skills have developed since then (y/n).”
“Oh my gosh. We’re terrible parents!” You yelped, throwing your hands in the air.

> Your child learning about Damian’s culture and heritage as well as your own so they know where to come from and if they want to celebrate any traditions.

> Both of you helping out with homework from school, Damian specialising in Maths.

> Having to come up with crazy explanations as to why their father came through the window in the dead of night looking like Batman.
“Is daddy Santa?”
“Uh not exactly… It’s more like the tooth fairy?”
“We are not saying that beloved, (c/n) I’m Batman - but you can’t tell anyone as this is a family secret.”
“Ok Batdad.” You’re child whispered, giggling at the nickname.

> Damian ok with them joining the family business as long as they pass his training resumés. They don’t go out if they’re sick or injured no matter what as this increases the likelihood of reckless behaviour.

> Teaching them the ways of Wayne Enterprises since they’re the future heir now.

> Your child learning about the hero business when they get older and finally accepting their father isn’t the tooth fairy.

> Giving them the choice of whether they want to become a vigilante with you supporting them 100% and Damian teaching them League of Assassins techniques regardless of their decision.

> Joking with you and Damian about becoming a villain because they’re fully equipped to do so but knowing that’s not how they were brought up.

> Them secretly having a favourite uncle but only Damian and yourself know who it is and refuse to tell the others.

> Kate Kane being the go to person for anything LGBT+ related, if your child is in fact an LGBT citizen or not.

> Generally being quite an open family that comes with a few cracks but you’re happy.


If it’s a Boy:
> “Looks like there’s a new son of Batman now.”
“Indeed there is, I hope he’ll be my successor one day.”

> Father son bonding activities, most of which included one on one training sessions. There a lot of testosterone in your home.

> Play fights all of the time, literally with anyone of his uncles that comes over. Whether it be Dick, Jason, Tim or Duke he’s going to show them the new moves Damian taught him.

> “I’m going to be the next Red Hood. You watch me!” As your son runs around with finger guns yelling ‘pew pew’ at inanimate objects much to your amusement.
“I’m going to kill Todd…”

> You’re son actually wanting to have powers like Jon, Supermans son, who visits on some occasions. Though after a long conversation about practicality with his father, (c/n) is convinced he’ll be the next Batman.
“Well Superman doesn’t have a Batmobile.”
“But he can fly father.”
“(C/n) has a point Dami.”

> Your son imitating Damian any chance he gets since he looks up to his father more than he realises.
“I am the son of the demon!”
“(Y/n), what was that?”
“Dick, do you really want to question it? He has Dami’s genes remember.”
“That’s who he reminds me of, Damian when he was younger - such a little sh-” Covering Dicks mouth before he could finish that sentence.

> Bruce saying he looks a lot like Damian and is proud of you both for raising your son so well. (C/n) has great manners at Galas when he’s older and is a hit with the ladies. Of course, for now - you’re the most important female in his life until he finds that special someone. Damian couldn’t be more proud.
“Meet my parents, Damian and (Y/n) Wayne.”
“It’s a pleasure, I hope our son is treating you well.”
“Yes, thank you Mrs Wayne.”


If it’s a Girl:
> Literally his little princess who he loves dearly.

> Cass coming over to style your daughters hair and spend time with her. Even though Cass isn’t talkative, your daughter speaks enough for the both of them.
“Can you do plaits Auntie Cass, like milkmaid ones?”
“I bet you can, you’re really good at making hair look pretty.” Cass just kisses her forehead and starts braiding.

> Finding out that she isn’t going to be a girly girl from a very early age.
“As I have Batdad, I get to drive the Batmobile when I’m older - maybe I can race!”
“I can teach you to drive now princess, I could drive by your age.”
“No! Damian, that’s illegal!”
“So is vigilantism.”
“…”

> Barbara and Stephanie coming over to help out and Stephanie even brought your daughter a Batgirl costume. Stephanie being so involved for personal reasons and just becoming her auntie not that there was any question.
“Steph, why did you buy this?”
“Why not? She’ll follow in our footsteps one day.”
“I’ll make sure she knows all the technical tricks.” Barbara was quick to add referring to her way with computers.

> Kate Kane and Harper Row also visiting to check up on you both. Kate claiming that girls have got to stick together. Your daughter thinking Harpers hair is the coolest thing in the world.
“Mommy, can I have my hair just like Harpers? With pink in it and can I have it rainbow?”
“That would look so cool!” Came the exaggerated enthusiasm of Harper.
“When you’re older, you can dye it however you want.”

> Damian gets over protective when romantic relationships come into the equation.
“Father, I fight crime with you at weekends. I’m perfectly capable of handling a romantic partner.”
“It’s funny you think they’ll even get a chance to get close to you.”
“Mom, a little help?!”

> “Touch my daughter and you’re dead.”
“You’re dad is joking right (c/n)?” Came your daughters current interest.
“Haha, uh yeah… no. No he’s not joking.”
“So what? Beat me to death?”
“More like slice you. With his katana.” Your daughter corrected.
“And that’s only if your uncles don’t get to them first (c/n)!”
“Thanks for that mom.”