i could be huge and perfect and i wouldn't know what a calorie was

anonymous asked:

prompt : Kommissar has a sweet tooth and now she has to go to the dentist because of her cavities lol :3 (if u want to make the sequel of The Danger in Baking)

Thanks Nonnie! So I wrote it, but the story got a bit away from me, hope you don’t mind. :3

Enjoy.


Dad Jokes And Dentistry

So cookies were a huge success.
Beca feels an odd sense of pride in herself for being able to corrupt even the tiniest bit of Luisa’s strict health regime.
Not that it really affected the German’s flawless physique, the woman was practically frozen in perfection, but still.
Beca is a pioneer, broadening her blonde girlfriend’s horizons even further.
She doesn’t know what else she can introduce to her already well-rounded Kommissar, but she can’t wait to find out.


“Try this.” Beca says, plopping down on the couch to wave a tootsie pop in front of Luisa’s face. Luisa simply brushes it away, never even looking at the candy, too engrossed in her book.
Beca drops the sucker on the pages.
“What, kleine maus?” Luisa says, looking up impatiently.
“I got you a tootsie pop.” Beca states, pointing to the blue wrapped sweet.
“No thank you, I’m reading.”
“Don’t you snack when you’re reading?”
“I don’t see the point, I won’t enjoy food if I’m reading.”
“You’re missing out.”
“Only on wasted calories.”
“Trust me, a tootsie pop is never a waste.”
Luisa sighs, picking up the sucker and unwrapping it. She tentatively licks the hard candy.
Her nose wrinkles in surprise.
“It’s just sugar.” She says, Beca laughs.
“Well yeah.”
“Why would you want flavored sugar?”
“Because, it’s great! Plus there’s a tootsie roll in the center.”
Luisa’s perplexed look is utterly endearing.
“So…I just lick it till I reach the center?”
“Some people bite it, y'know, like the owl from the commercial.”
Luisa shrugs, Beca stands up to get herself a sucker.
She hears a crack.
Son of a hamster!”
She turns around, Luisa is cradling the side of her mouth.
“What did you do?” She asks as Luisa swears.
“I bit it, like you said!”
“You have to suck on it for a while before you bite it, you can’t just flat out chomp down!”
“That’s such a waste of time.”
“Well you can’t just lick the sucker twice before biting, you can’t be like the owl.”
“I never saw that commercial!”
“How could you not see it?” Luisa’s response is a groan, slightly from pain but mostly frustration.
“Are you ok?” Beca asks, wringing her hands together.
“What does it look like?” Luisa growls.
Beca tries to find a way to comfort her, she doesn’t know how, so she awkwardly pats Luisa’s shoulder.
“Do you want some ice? We’ve got some in the freezer, I’ll get you some ice. Stay still. Not that it matters, but-”
“Beca,” Luisa says, breathing heavily through her nose as she tries to calm herself. “Please, just shush and call the dentist. I think I cracked a molar.”
“I guess you can’t call that tooth sweet anymore.” Beca jokes, Luisa’s glare could melt steel.
“Right. I’ll go call the dentist now.”


It’s quiet in the dentist’s office. The magazines quietly display their fishing prowess, the poor bass on a black line gasping for breath. Besides the sound of a secretary’s nails clicking on a computer keyboard, it’s silent.
Beca is incredibly bored.
Luisa’s ignoring her, pretending to be fascinated by the painted grape wallpaper.
“It’s great they could schedule you in so quickly.” Beca says, desperate to cut the tension. “Usually you’d have to wait a week, not a day.”
Luisa just huffs.
“It’s too bad it’s so early in the morning though, we should have gone at two-thirty. Get it? Tooth-hurty?” Beca stares at Luisa hopefully, the blonde doesn’t acknowledge the terrible joke. Beca tries again.
“You know, even though you’re probably in pain, you’re still jaw-dropping.”
Luisa sighs forcefully.
“I hope you’re not going to be mouthy, I don’t think I could handle your cheek.”
“Liebling,” Luisa says through gritted teeth. “I understand you’re trying to make this better, and I appreciate the sentiment, but please, do not speak anymore.”
“Sorry. It’s just dentists can be scary.”
Luisa scoffs.
“I just figured, once this is over, at least you’d know the drill.”
Beca’s laughing even as Luisa smacks her knee.
The assistant walks into the waiting room, calling Luisa’s name. Beca squeezes her hand in support, she receives one in return before Luisa’s hand slips from hers.
And then she’s left alone with the sad wallpaper and faded magazines with nothing to do but wait.
So she waits.


She’s dozing when Luisa comes out, half of her face frozen, but the rest of her relieved. Beca stretches before sauntering over to her side.
“Ready to forgive me now?” She asks, standing on tiptoe to kiss Luisa’s uninjured cheek. Luisa gives the biggest grin her face will allow, it’s still tiny.
“I suppose so.”
“Good. Because the tooth is, I couldn’t bear it if you stayed mad at me.”
Luisa is less than amused, Beca waits for the smack.
This time it’s a poke in the stomach.
She doesn’t care.
Already she’s thinking of new things for Luisa to try.
Hopefully this time there won’t be need for anymore dentists.