i confess i did love you for a book

I pretended to be brave
I didn’t shed a tear
As I watched you walk away.
Little did you know,
That was my biggest fear.
My heart broke while
My soul quickly shattered,
Why did I let you go when
You were all that mattered.
—  Tenari Ioapo // Confessions of a woman madly in love #15.

anonymous asked:

I don't think most people who disagree with black Hermione are racist. I am not a fan of black Hermione either and I am most definitely not racist. If I was, I wouldn't have married a black man. My issue with it is we have had years and years of reading the books and envisioning these beautiful characters the way we did, and it does come as quite a shock to see who we've envisioned and loved all these years not who we envisioned since our ideas of them have been in our heads for so long.

Okay i’m gonna reply to this because we have too many confessions like this already anyway and they’re getting on my nerves.

the things that irk me the most with this type, is that 

1. they always start with ‘im definitely not racist’ and i’m like, if you have to do that, clarify that you’re not racist, you KNOW you shouldn’t be saying whatever you’re about to say. But on top of that, they follow up with some reason as to WHY they’re not racist, as if that’s going to make their statement less racist and more credible? it doesn’t.

2. I’m so happy you envisioned hermione for years and years as white and got to see her cast as such in the movies and got her that way in all the merch etc. etc. but guess what, and this is gonna blow your mind right now I hope youre sitting down,

a lot of people didnt

for years and years millions of people that are not you envisioned her as black or indian or mixed or something else and loved her that way. because everyone is different, not to mention a lot of people tend to self insert when they read and there are a hell of a lot of non white readers out there. And they’ve gotten to see THEIR version, thats been in THEIR heads for years absolutely 0%. Where as you’ve gotten loads. 

So when you write crap like “it comes as quite a shock to see MY PERSONAL INTERPRETATION as something different.” it is 100% showing that you haven’t thought outside your bubble. not even a little bit.

how about all those people who are seeing THEIR personal interpretation of hermione for the first time? I mean, you got plenty of time with yours, why are you begrudging them theirs? 

and to be frank, i don’t like your word choices either. “envisioning these beautiful characters // and loved all these years” like they can’t be beautiful and loved if they’re not white?  

I 100% do not understand peoples issues with non white characters. No one is asking you to change whats in your head, jeez 

-massive eyeroll-  

I loved you so much. But then you broke me, and at first I didn’t understand why. But now I do. Some people are insecure, some people need to bring others down to feel content with themselves. Some people can’t help it, but others enjoy doing it, and you did. I spent time trying to mend myself after what you did. But I came out stronger, your words won’t hurt me anymore.
—  LM. You’ll get there.
Is it too late to just start over?
—  💜

anonymous asked:

Sorry, I haven't seen the latest episode yet, but when Cas said I love you was it... like meant as a romantic confession solely to Dean or were Sam and Mary there as well, thereby including them? And did Cas actually use the phrase "in love" in regards to Dean? Cause I want canon Destial as much as you but if that phrase was not used and/or Sam/Mary were present then.... well in my book it doesn't count as an in love confession.

So did Cas use use the phrase “in love” ? Cause if not and the other two were present then that scene could easily have been intended to mean “ you are all my family and I love all of you and would die for you” You know? I mean, I wish that it couldn’t mean that and Cas was saying he was in love with Dean but seeing how reluctant the writers seem to make them 110% textually, explicitly, and undeniably canon I have major doubts that the scene was truly meant as a romantic confession. :(

Well, I got both these asks on Friday shortly after my flailing screeching post about the love confession and I have to admit, having seen that scene like a dozen more times since then, I will admit (and have admitted in my review) that it is ambiguous. (my tag for meta on this moment is currently “ambiguous love confessions” so that tells you my viewpoint anyway). FYI My FIRST reaction was that the first “I love you” was romantic. That was my honest to god first reading. I had to go back and re-watch to realise there was ambiguity there hence this meta ask so take that as you will.

In my tag you will find meta on the confession from @awed-frog, @postmodernmulticoloredcloak, and @obsessionisaperfume with additions by other meta writers. Its an interesting mix on the subject. 

Here is my honest opinion

Let’s get this out of the way. In absolutely no way, shape or form, does this “I love you” make destiel 100% undeniably canon. 

I am a destiel shipper and hugely positive about the ship becoming canon in the future, (i also tend to joke around and say things like “its canon” on pictures of Dean saying he “loves that fish” or other silly stuff like that just because it is hilarious and I am slightly chaotic good/ or evil your choice when it comes to these things). Doesn’t mean I believe it. Destiel is not canon. Currently.

HOWEVER. Subtextually, the “I love you” reading CAN be read as a confession to Dean. This is true. You can take it that it was meant for him, just as you can take it that it was meant for all of them. BOTH readings are valid, because like everything else involving this ship, at this point in time its all about the ambiguity. 

From a G.A perspective. This “I love you” was plural. As @awed-frog pointed out, when translating into other languages, this will be translated as the plural form of the word. Because that is the surface reading, it is what any G.A viewer will read. Whether the G.A will consider why Cas specifically clarified between “I love you” and “I love all of you” is another question. But thats what we have to accept. There is enough ambiguity and “plausible deniability” involved for this not to be some huge neon sign telling the audience that destiel is coming. It is far too easy to argue that it was platonic, as well as meant for everyone and not just Dean.

Lets be honest here as well, thanks to the infuriatingly heteronormative nature of a G.A, even if Dean and Cas were alone and Cas said “I love you” it would still be taken as a platonic “I love you”. Because the words were not “I am in love with you” and these two things are different. They have different meanings. Anyone whose ever broken up with someone by using the phrase “I love you but I’m not in love with you” will know the difference.

HOWEVER we know that we have previously heard the words “in love with” in relation to Cas, these words were repeated two episodes ago in relation to an angel who was a Cas mirror who later compared his own love (which he clarified was romantic love) to Cas’s love for Dean. When you take this into consideration, suddenly that “I love you” doesn’t seem so platonic.

But there is still the case that the surface reading is the plural form of “you” and therefore it becomes irrelevant. Except that, as previously pointed out in @postmodernmulticoloredcloak‘s meta on the subject, the fact that Cas had to clarify also puts THAT into question. 

Look I totally get where @awed-frog is coming from here. The surface reading is platonic. What I am trying to stress is that it takes very little stretch of the imagination (really none at all) to come to the non-platonic conclusion once you have removed your “no homo” goggles and have at least paid attention to the story for the past few episodes. 

If Cas had just said “I love you” and left it there, then fine. Its platonic and its plural. But he didn’t. He clarified. Just like in 6x20 when he says:

“I did it to protect you”

“I did it to protect all of you”

The first sentence was meant for Dean. The second sentence was to clarify that actually, it wasn’t just for Dean as he didn’t want the other parties (Sam and Bobby) to be left out of his plea. 

In an episode FULL TO THE BRIM with 6x20 call backs this is just another way to show that there are many many layers to what we are watching in this emotional moment. 

Yes the camera cuts to Dean and no one else after that first “I love you”. Meaning the director and editor had the intention that it was meant for Dean too. Yes the clarification of the “all of you” adds to the speculation. There are so many elements at work here and that is what makes the subtext non platonic (though I stress, the surface reading is still platonic because G.A viewers do not pay attention to these things unless it is a guy and a girl they are watching because that bloody Avril Lavinge song is sadly very fucking true in today’s society).

Ignoring the subtext and the film editing and stuff for the moment, we should also consider Cas as a character and what might have been going through his mind at that moment. How do we think HE meant it?

Throughout the confession Cas moves his gaze to look at each Winchester in turn, he refers to all of them throughout. The only time he doesn’t look a Winchester in the eye is when he says “I love you”. He looks down. His eyes are slightly shifty… almost like there is shame hidden in his eyes. WHY?

(Gif source)

He can’t look them in the eye in this moment but he CAN for the rest of his speech. This to me, means he is admitting something secret, something he has buried. Perhaps he keeps it ambiguous because even in those last moments he can’t bare to admit something that he thinks is shameful *cough*sacred oath*cough* so he clarifies: “I love all of you”. 

Not that the clarification does much except further highlight the fact that the “I love you” can be “misinterpreted” as a singular term. In Cas’s own mind he may not have realised this, but Sam and Dean sure did. Their subtle reactions (which I can’t gif hunt for right now) prove the difference as well. To consider Cas’s thought process here, I would say that that first “I love you” WAS meant for Dean, but Cas didn’t WANT to make it clear. He wanted to get it off his chest, but he didn’t want Sam and Mary to know what he actually meant at the time. Hence his looking down at that moment. The “I love you” was far more difficult for him to say than “I love all of you”.

I want to stress here that I don’t want any of you feeling disheartened by this. It was a confession of love. That much is true. This has shown just how far Cas has come since he first graced our screens. His character development is overwhelming. I certainly wasn’t expecting this confession any time soon, this is an amazing development and has added to the building blocks in place for destiel. We have our foundations down already, we have already started laying the bricks, soon we will have everything in place and it will start coming together in a way that everyone will be able to tell what it is.

Consider where we were just one season ago? We have come so far. These writers are building up to it. Its hard not to be impatient especially when they continue to shove all this ambiguity at us I get that, but honestly? We are doing far better than any of us could have predicted at the start of the season let alone at the end of season 10.

Lastly, if in doubt, do what I did. Go on AO3 and check out the tag for the 12x12 coda’s. It is glorious. So fucking glorious. You guys amaze me with your talent. We would not have had all those amazing and extremely believable-in-canon stories 1 week ago were it not for this ambiguous little “I love you”. That, my friends, is one hell of an accomplishment. 

‘Why did you let them do that? Cheating on you and playing with you’ he asked, as I watched the stars above.
‘I guess I loved them too much to stop them’ I answered as I turned my head to see him. My eyes met his, that were a reflection of the beautiful show of lights a million miles above us.
‘That isn’t love, it’s infutuation that makes you blind’ he said while I watched every movement of his lips, realising how strong my attraction towards him was.
I sighed ‘I know what you think, but it isn’t true’
A smile started playing on his lips ‘Than, what do I think?’ 'You think I was so blinded by adoration and lust for them and the fact that they actually noticed me, that I mistoke that for loving them’
He nodded his head while turning his head away, swallowing. 'Sorry, you made it sound more harsh, but yeah… it came down to that’
I raised up slightly, leaning on my elbow 'Don’t be sorry, you’re not the first one to tell me that’ He cuckled, facing me again. 'I still don’t think you have experienced true love’
While shaking my head I smiled 'So you’re the love expert now, huh?’
He took a deep breath 'Well, not exactly, but I think I can let you experience what it is to truly love’
It was like life paused for a second, my heart beat stopped and I seemed to forget how to breath. And suddenly the galaxy, formated in a place impossible for us to reach, dulled, even faded away and the fact that I forgot to put on my make-up didn’t matter anymore.

He had just confessed the thing I had been too scared to believe

—  confessions
Just One Moment

Request: Can you please do an imagine with Rory Regan from arrow who’s in love with the reader who thinks no guy will ever like her so confesses his feelings and tells her everything that he loves about her like he loves fact that she reads a book with so much concentration or the way she smiles

A/N: Ahhhh! Yes! He’s like the best ever. I tried to make it as long as possible without dragging on but I did do some pretty beefy paragraphs. I was going to do this tonight after work but I had time so I did it now. I hope you like it! And thank you for requesting!

Pairing: Rory Regan x Fem!Reader

Words: 780

Summary: Rory loves (Y/N) and she loves him. She thinks that no one loves her. Rory has been waiting to tell her that he loves her, will this quiet day be the day? Or will he just back out and never tell her? 

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Spider. (Yixing, werewolf!au, Mating Season series)

Originally posted by deerxings

Spider.- Yixing, Werewolf!au, Mating Season series

A pair of arms wrapped around you from behind and you almost smiled and leaned into them, before you remembered.

“No.” you said sulkily, ripping the arms off you.

“I hate you, Zhang Yixing.” And proceeded to take a book from the bookshelf. A whine resonated behind you, begging you to pay attention to your supernatural boyfriend.

“But Baobei~”

“No, I hate you.” You cut off any other sweet coos he was about to give you, leaving him there to stomp his foot. You almost laughed at his childishness, but then you remembered.

You hated Zhang Yixing.

You and Yixing went a long way back, going through high school and college did its charm and you fell in love with him. After a year of dating him, he confessed to you about all his absences in school. He said that he just went through his first transformation into a wolf. At first, you thought your jokester of a boyfriend was lying, but then he transformed right in front of your eyes and had you falling back smack on your ass and believing him the hard way. You got used to it after a while- he was, after all, Yixing, the good, old, dimpled goof you fell in love with. Yet sometimes, his goofiness was far too much.

You woke up into what you thought would be a beautiful day- mating season was coming. You knew that from the mind-blowing night you spent with him. Since Yixing is so playful most of the time, you almost forgot he could have that side to him as well, making you that much more breathless when he suddenly pushed you up against the wall and sucked on your neck, rasping that he wants you so bad in that husky voice of his, making your knees buckle.

You were expecting to wake up with him still by your side and saying good morning with a kiss to your lips or maybe even something more and that’s when your eyes opened and laid on the ugly, eight legged monster currently on the sheets that were covering your body.

You threw the sheets off your body with a shriek, scrambling to the nearest chair you could find and that’s when a sound broke through your fear- laughter. And there he was, bent over in giggles, clapping his knees, all that jazz. The other hand was still feebly trying to hold up the cell phone with which he was recording the scene unraveling in front of you. And that’s when it all made sense. Yixing knew about your fear of spiders and he decided to pull a prank on you.

At first, you ripped the cell phone out of his hands. All he did was yelp, but he still continued laughing. After you deleted the video, you then slapped his back (you were a master at stingy slaps), but that still wasn’t enough to calm the excited man down.

It helped stopping his laughter by shoving the plastic spider down his pants, it sure did.

It was now afternoon and Yixing was slowly growing insane. He hated being ignored, and his discomfort of that grew during mating season. But you didn’t soften. You wanted him to feel that what he did was wrong, and you wanted him to feel it good.

That’s why you sat there with the calmness of an Englishman, reading your chosen book, while Yixing frolicked around you, apologizing cutely. When he realized it wouldn’t work, you heard a sigh before a ripping sound resonated through the apartment and a small wolf pup wormed its way to your lap.

Yixing’s specialty was that he could change to whatever form of a wolf he could. That made him a master at escapes. Even though you were mad at him, you couldn’t help yourself but to gently comb your fingers through the pup’s fur, calming him and you. The mating season took its toll on you as well…there was nothing more you wanted right now than to make Yixing apologize in another way, but your pride was holding you back. And so you went on with petting Yixing and the plot of the book. You were finally getting into some of the good stuff, when suddenly, the little pup stood on his hind legs and pressed his front paws on your chest, its cute face right up in yours. You fought the smile that came onto you when you saw that adorable puppy, so you just lifted your eyebrow at the wolf.

“What do you want, Yix-AH!” you shrieked when the puppy suddenly changed into a very naked Yixing.

“I’m so sorry, ___-ah!” the naked man automatically started peppering you with kisses.

“I’m so sorry, sorry, sorry~”

“Yixing, get off!” you squealed with laughter, trying to block his kisses, but to no avail. The werewolf had you soon stretched on the couch under him, your hands above your head so you couldn’t escape him.

“Not until you forgive me~”  he replied, his lips on your neck and making you shiver. The speed of his kisses slowed but the intensity grew. Soon enough, his tongue slipped into your mouth and his knees slid down a little, making you feel his weight better. You sighed into his mouth, accepting the kisses of apologies that he bestowed on you and soon enough, he had you lifting your head for more.

“So, do you forgive me?”  He asked you, a devilish grin on his face. His voice was huskier than usual and the combination of his deep voice, adorable dimple, bedroom eyes and the erection pressing against your thigh had a fire burn deep inside you. You chuckled at his antics and you leaned up to bite his jaw.

“I do, you idiot.” Yixing chuckled before covering your lips and entwining your fingers with his. The kiss was much softer than the playful ones he gave you a while ago, and it made you melt.

“You should…uhh…” you cleared your throat, trying to get your voice back to normal and trying to ignore the nips nibbling on your neck.

“Get dressed, Yixing.”

“No, baobei.” One of his hands still held your wrists and the other one was already making its way down your body, not passing by the opportunity to squeeze your breast, making you gasp, before he finally got to your jeans.

“You get undressed. Now.”

And with that voice, what Yixing wants, Yixing gets.

Then he was silent.

“Fuck.” She cursed as she realized what she did. “I’m sorry.”

He forced a smile, but didn’t say anything back.

“I didn’t mean it, I swear.” She said, regret eating her whole.

“I know,” he finally speaks. “I just hope someday you’ll stop mentioning his name.”

—  18 out of a thousand entries i’ll be writing about you.
Confessions *Stiles Stilinski x Reader*

anonymous:  Can you do a Teen Wolf one-shot where the female reader is a Shadowhunter (half angel, half human demon hunters from the book series The Mortal Instruments) and confesses her love for Stiles, Stiles says he feels the same way, and they become a couple?

A/N: okayyy i think i get what a ShadowHunter is, but if i did something that a shadow hunter wouldn’t do sorry :( but it was fun to write (when is something not fun to write?XD)! and i had to add Allison in bc i love her so much XD! i also barely mentioned the fact about the shadow hunter thing bc i was scared i was gonna get something wrong and wiki doesn’t tell much :( but i hope you like it! xxx

“You- You just gotta go for it!” Scott exclaimed, walking a little bit ahead of Stiles. Scott was trying to help Stiles ask out one of his best friends (and secret long-time crush), (Y/N). In Stiles’s opinion he felt that (Y/N) was way out of his league, considering that she could hunt a demon no problem, but he could barely walk on his own two feet without stumbling.

But, little does Stiles know, (Y/N) was having the same trouble.

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  • Hiccup: Hey, dad?
  • Stoick: Yes?
  • Hiccup: How did you tell mom you love her?
  • Stoick: Why do you want to know?
  • Hiccup: Well.... I wanna tell Astrid how I feel about her... But I don't know how.
  • Stoick (sits up, closes book): When I confessed my love to your mother... It was truly a magical moment.
  • Hiccup: Really?
  • Stoick: Yes. Even when we were no longer blackout drunk and the ecstasy wore off, we were still in love.
  • Hiccup: Wow... Wait, what?

“I still remember that day like it was yesterday. How could I forget? On my knees I had confessed my love for you and all you did was just stand there.
Waiting for you to say something I asked, ‘Do you feel the same?’
You shook your head, face devoid of any expression, eyes anywhere but at me. My eyes were tearing the longer I stared at you. ‘No’ you finally said. I blinked, letting the lone tear kiss my cheek.
And then you did the last thing I wanted; you walked away.”

– excerpts from a book I’ll never write // #1
Did you know, the first time I saw you, I thought: I’ve never seen anything more captivating and beautiful?”
“Why are you telling me this?” I said miserably.
“I saw you, and I wanted to be close to you. I wanted you to let me in. I wanted to know you in a way no one else did. I wanted you, all of you. That wanting nearly drove me mad.” Patch paused, inhaling softly, as though breathing me in. “And now that I have you, the only thing that terrifies me is having to go back to that place. Having to want you all over again, with no hope of my desire ever being fulfilled. You’re mine, Angel. Every last piece of you. I won’t let anything change that.
—  Finale by Becca Fitzpatrick

“She was beautiful, you know? But she had always been insecure.” He says, recalling every fraction of her in his mind.

I stay and listen to him talk about her; about his first love.

“And her smile? God, I love her smile. I go crazy when she laughs.” He smiles.

I smile too.

“You must have really loved her.” I tell him.

“I did. No, I still do. There was so much love involved. But somehow, somewhere along the way, we lost track of what was most important: time.” He sighs. “That’s why it didn’t work. That’s why we didn’t work.”

—  The story about my friend’s first love.
Anesthesia Confessions

Prompt: “BuckyxReader where the reader gets her wisdom teeth out and once home confesses to Steve that she likes Bucky but she thinks he hates her and gets upset. Of course Bucky overhears and after Steve leaves, he puts her mind at ease.“

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Genre: fluffy and cuddly and a lil bit of sam, steve, and bucky brotp in there too

Word Count: 4,097

Author’s Note: i did the thing also go read the book at the bottom if you have not yet ok ty also thank you to the ever so lovely @smilingseb for entertaining me while i wrote this gem, you’re the best and ily

The first time you run into Steve, Sam, and Bucky, it had been simply because you were in the wrong place at the wrong time. It happens suddenly, with Steve ripping the hinges off your door as Sam storms into your house house, pushing you to the ground and shoving a knee hard into the center of your back. Steve stands above you shouting, “Where is it?” over and over again. From where you lay, you can see the gallon of milk you had just purchased from the store pouring over your counter, ruining your bread and making an even bigger mess than what it already was.

You sigh, “I don’t fucking know what you’re talking about, get off of me,” you shimmy, attempting to move the man off of your back, but he pushes down harder, just enough to crack your spine. You groan, “I’m serious, I don’t fucking know what you’re talking about. All I did was go to the damn grocery store. I just worked a twelve hour shift and all I wanted to do was to eat my damn pasta.”

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Characters: Dean x Reader

Words: 1189

Request from huntpraysupernatural: “Heeyyy!! I love your imagine adn your writings I ADORE THEM!! Could you pleeaseee write a dean x reader based on the 200th episode where Marie ships them together and in the later Chuck books they’re a couple? They both feel the same way but they won’t confess it? Can she please be a bad ass hunter sassy no chick flick moments type? Pretty Please?”

First off, thank you again for the compliment! I’m glad you’re loving my writing, I love writing them! Second, I had a BLAST writing this one!!!! It took all of my self control not to rewrite the whole episode, but I was able to pull my self back. I hope I did a good job! Enjoy!

(And this gif doesn;t really have anything do to with the one shot, it’s just my favorite part of the whole episode. XD)

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“what’s wrong?” he asks.

“I just thought you loved me.” she confesses.

“I did,” he told her looking at her like she was home “I do.”

and she turns to him and says, “then what made you leave me for her?”

“you were too good, too close of a forever lover than temporary.”

“but isn’t that the goal of love; a forever.” she adds.

“yes, but I didn’t want to break your heart at 18. I wanted to carry it around in my pocket for a lifetime.”

—  Excerpt #177

“I love the Divergent Universe, but I keep finding more and more plotholes in it and it’s such a shame to discover that VR actually did such a lousy job. How did her books even got published? Her fans are writing such brilliant stories based on such a horrible written trilogy. Honestly, VR has the best fandom one can imagine!!! You all ROCK!!!!”