i completely forget why i wanted to draw this

Luck of the Draw

word count: 1431

Reader x Jin

Genre: fuckboy!Jin, soulmates name on wrist!au

A/N: This may be the first in a series based on how well you react to it, also please note that fuckboy Jin can be a dick, but the main reason Y/N hates him is because she knows she can’t resist his charms, and she hates him and herself for it.  

The silver balloons wafted from side to side between the clutter of people in the room. The gentle glow of the strobe lighting illuminating them. Banners reading ‘Happy New Year’ hung gently from every doorway and staircase, drawing attention to why I was here. In the middle of the dance floor my best friends were dancing. The silver in each of their dresses, glittering like stars as their bodies swayed to the music. And usually I would join them, making an effort to seem outstanding. But tonight I was completely rattled. The golden sequins on my dress drawing attention that was undesired. The only thing that calmed the rapid beating of my heart was the overbearing nature of straight vodka. And I consumed another heavy gulp.

‘REMEMBER ALL YOU 21 YEAR OLDS THIS YEAR, OUR SOULMATES NAME WILL SHOW UP ON OUR WRIST AS SOON AS IT HITS NEW YEAR!’

I groaned, every five minutes there was a constant reminder of why my anxiety levels had skyrocketed. A reminder of everything I was trying to forget. On the contrary I had always wanted a tattoo, but not like this. I’ve never wanted someone’s name imprinted on my skin. I sighed as collapsed back in my chair in the corner of the room, every so often grabbing unsuspecting people’s drinks  and chugging them as they turn away to dance.

I glanced around the room, my gaze lingering on the people I knew, but I managed to lock eyes with the one person I despised. I may have been hysterical, but Jin looked far more nervous than me. Although that’s due to the lack of a soulmate at the age of 24. A cheeky grin appears on his face as he gestured to the swarm of girls glued to him, seemingly suggesting I should join them. My eyes roll out of habit, as I push myself off my chair and grab another drink. Without thinking I’m wandering through the party, and as my head turns back to where he stood I notice him laughing. He seems to be talking to one of his goddess like companions. Yet his eyes wander constantly and when the find me once again he chuckles. My eyes crinkle, almost shut, trying to wrap my head around the deceitful boy. He chuckles once again, his mouth raising higher on the left side, clearly finding our facial-expression-across-the-room-discussion amusing. My eyes lower, and I quickly find Mina dancing in the centre of the floor. ‘Hey,’ I call to her, gaining her attention quickly, ‘I’m going to head over to where the boys are drinking, okay?’ My cup filled hand pointing in the direction of my plans as she nods softly.  

Nevertheless, Jin cuts me off before I reach my friends. ‘Hi Y/N.’ He smirks, his glasses generously grazing the tip of his nose as they fall. ‘Nervous?’ His tongue grazes his lips painstakingly slowly as his eyes flicker between my eyes and lips. ‘Bet I’m still doing better than you.’ I mock pushing his glasses back up his nose. ‘Oh really?’ He holds his bottom lip between his teeth, as he leisurely leans his face into the crook of my neck, his cologne lacing the air around us. ‘Prove it.’ His voice adorned with lust and breathlessness, his fingers beginning to drift up and down my arms, causing small shivers to run through me. I push Jin’s body away from me, and he pouts, showcasing his bright pink lips. ‘Come on angel face,’ the nickname rolling off his tongue naturally, as a wave of small goose bumps flush over me. ‘I could make you feel so good.’ His hands moved towards my hips, but I interrupted his longing by intertwining our fingers and raised them up to my face. I sighed, trusting myself to resist the delicious charms of a fuckboy, ‘I’m disinclined to acquiesce to your request.’ His eyes scanned the way my eyes widened at his huge hand enveloping my own, his brow furrowing in confusion of my statement. His face contorted making the smallest creases around his nose and his eyebrows. I decided to see how far I could push him, pushing onto my toes and letting my lips graze over as his, letting them follow mine until I reached his ear.  ‘Means no.’ I looked back at him and dropped back to flat feet, staring into his disconcerted eyes.

I could feel his lips tug into a smug smile as my back turned to him. ‘Hey, Y/N!’ He jerked his head up to call me as I took a few steps away from him, his smug smile boring into me, ‘Did it hurt?’ I turned to him and rolled my eyes slowly, ‘When what, I fell from heaven?’ my disgusted gag was obvious as he slowly approached me, gradually intertwining our hands again, ‘No.’ he smiled, shaking his head slightly, the smile slowly dissolving into a pout as I sighed exasperatedly, ‘What then?’ my gaze shifted into a distrustful glare fixed on his eyes. A sly grin crept onto his face, looking like the devil had placed it there himself, ‘When you fell for me.’ His hands gripping mine softly and bringing them into our view as his grin only grew.

I immediately dropped his poisonous hands and ran as quickly as I could to my friends, hearing his devious laugh ring in my ears.

Before anyone could even greet me I grabbed Jacksons cup of vodka and chugged the entire thing. ‘Looks like someone’s a little nervous.’ Jackson chuckled, as he poured himself another one. ‘I don’t care if the person’s one of you guys, I don’t want to know that my life is promised away, that I’ve been genetically modified since birth to be with this person.’

‘Y/N if it makes you feel any better you know that you don’t have to be with whoever your wrist shows up with.’ Yoongi says, speaking from experience. He had the name show up the year he turned 21, two years ago. Just like everyone else his age.

‘But everyone else will want to be with their soulmate right?’ I finished his next sentence for him, taking another Jaebum’s cup before he could protest and emptying it into my all too eager stomach. ‘By the way, how is life with a soulmate?’

‘It sucks, even though they know they’re the only one you love they still get nervous when you go out. Mine seems to think I’m going to cheat.’ He ran one hand through his hair, dishevelling it as he released a very heavy sigh. ‘Anyway, soulmates are supposed to be either someone you’ve been in love with for a while, or you were destined to be with. So you’ll be fine.’ He patted me on the back, but it was the least comfort I’d felt in a while. The more the night moved on the more agitated I felt, the more tense I became.

And all too soon, it was the countdown to New Year.

‘TEN’

My immediate reaction was to begin downing as many drinks as I could and I grabbed Yoongi’s hand and gripped it tight.

‘NINE’

‘EIGHT’

His thumb ran over the back of my hand, caressing it softly so that I could calm down, as I muttered the words ‘Save me’ to him.

‘SEVEN’

‘SIX’

‘FIVE’

I saw Mina run over to me and grab my other hand, because she was so overwhelmingly excited that she’d finally see who her soulmate was.

‘FOUR’

‘THREE’

‘Good luck.’ Yugyeom whispered to all of us as he and the rest of the Maknae liners ran off giggling.

‘TWO’

‘ONE’

That’s when I saw it, the black ink that faintly began to rise on my right wrist, and seeing the name in person made me practically faint. Mina leaned over to me and got me to breathe properly. ‘Remember the first name that appears on your wrist is your worst enemy. Look mines changing now.’ She called. And as I looked over I saw the weirdest thing I’ve ever seen in my life.

It was unmistakeable but the name ‘Byun Baekhyun’ written in bold black letters faded away to reveal the name ‘Jackson Wang’. But the colour was wrong, it looks like someone carved it into her skin with a knife. It’s supposed to be black. 

I looked back at my wrist but it hadn’t changed. I waited for five minutes, slowly moving up to ten but the name on my wrist never changed.

There written in black in perfect cursive was the name,

Kim Seokjin.

Creepypasta #1091: Wrong Turn

Length: Long

I have never known true fear. I was not the one to be afraid. While I have never denied the existence of the supernatural, I was not a skeptic. But I was never really afraid. Mostly because my parents were always away, travelling and exploring. That meant that since I was a teenager, they left me in an empty house, free to do as I wanted. I would just watch movies, read and go to school and training. That’s one of the reasons I felt quite safe. I was in judo for 12 years. I knew how to tie my belt before I knew how to tie my shoelaces. So, yeah, I felt like a badass. Well, until two nights ago.

I got a job at a small café, just so I could make some money on my own. The place was okay - except for the fact that its official closing time was at midnight. The owner and his buddies had made it a habit of staying late and drinking, which meant that both myself and the bartender had to stay until they stagger out into the night, leaving us behind to clean up the mess. 

On this particular night, it was about 2 A.M. when we were finally done. It was starting to snow outside. Matt, the bartender, was a pretty cool guy, and we got along fine. He seemed amused by the fact I was a girl in judo and would often ask me to use my training to throw our boss out when he was being a pain in the ass. But unlike me, he was barely making ends meet, so he was kind of stuck in this place. I locked up, only to see Matt slowly dragging himself down the street.

“Hey, Matt!” I yelled after him. “Need a ride?” I felt bad for the guy. He nodded, and walked back to the parking lot.

“Thank you so much. It’s freezing.” He said, a tired smile on his face. We got in the car and he told me where to go. I was familiar with his neighborhood, and he didn’t live so far away from me. So I dropped him off, said goodnight and drove off. I was half asleep myself, so I turned up the radio a bit. That didn’t help much, because a moment later I realized I took a wrong turn. 

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

So that anon that asked about "turning off" ambition got me thinking: What if your goals are so ambitious that anything less depresses you? What if you TRY to achieve your goals but keep falling short? Should you change your goals?

Error 404: Concept of destructive ambition not found 

Kidding, humor is my backup when I nervously try to avoid a topic. 

This was a problem I suffered with for probably most of my childhood. I had so many big dreams and I knew exactly what I wanted to do, but I kept failing. This was mostly because I had no concept of “How to do it” and just assumed if I study and go to college my life is set. [Excuse me whilst I double over laughing].

But despite all my failures (Trust me, there’s a lot of them, I was a pretty stupid kid–throwback to when I fell off a treadmill and stripped off the skin on my stomach because I’m a dumbass at set it to the highest speed), my opinion still stands: There is no goal too ambitious. 

What I’ve discovered is that I needed smaller, more realistic goals that led up to my ultimate ambitious goals. Basically, I needed those baby steps. It was much easier then, because I was focusing completely on the task at hand and not thinking directly about my future ambitions. And even if I thought the goals were considered “easy” and not even close to ambitious, every time I succeeded it built my self-esteem and I became more confident to try to achieve my harder goals. 

Now, that strategy might not work for you. But if you try to achieve your goals and keep falling short, I wouldn’t say change your goals, but change the way you’re trying. What the hell does that mean? It depends. Maybe you’re over stressing. Take a break, then try again. Maybe you lost motivation? Remind yourself of why you’re doing this, then try again. Maybe you’re broke? Make more cash, then try again (easier said than done, I know). 

The only time I’d say change your goals, or forget about them completely, is if they don’t hold the same appeal to you as they did before. So basically, change your goals if they don’t make you happy/hopeful/excited again. Example? Since I was four I’d always wanted to be a heart surgeon (yes, I have actual proof of a kindergarten drawing of me cutting open a Stegosaurus and giving him a new heart that says “im a heart surgon”). I spent years reading anatomy books and watching surgery videos and I got a surgery kit and used to practice my suturing skills on oranges and apples–I know I was a weird kid, you don’t have to tell me this. But then in like the 6th grade I started getting more sick than before and I literally went to the hospital every month for almost three or four years. After that, the mere thought of even stepping into a hospital literally made me sick to my stomach. I’ve gotten over that slightly by now, but the whole “dream of becoming a heart surgon” had already been shattered. Tragic. 

Anyways, you’ll know when to give up and move on. And if you still have even the smallest desire for something great, giving up will not be an option. Don’t give up just because of failure. You’ll regret it in the future. 

Say His Name: Part V (Zico/You/Namjoon)

Part I / Part II / Part III / Part IV 

Warning: Triggers, Triggers, Triggers, Violence, language, other stuff… Lots of sex. Shit gets real… Just be safe… 

Rating M- very M….  

Zico’s POV

We decided to end it two months ago. Things got too confusing. Not to mention the scandal grew out of hand with new witnesses spilling their guts everyday. The reports were eating her alive. 

 It’s been about a week since I saw her last. I helped her get a place in the city. Something comfortable, not too much noise so she could sleep. The pills were my fault. Everything was my fault. 

“Where do you want these?” I asked carrying another box from the hall. It was a nice place. Very open. Lots of windows. Good. She loves sunlight. 

“In that room- that I don’t know quite what to call it yet- because this place is too big- that room-” She was short with me these days. But in that cute way. As if she was allowing us to be friendly. 

 "You’ve seen bigger.“ I winked. 

We loved each other- still. That would never go away I’m sure of it. We fought so hard for this. To be together. It was crazy to begin with, but we knew that- and did it anyway. 

It’s like when your friend dares you to do something stupid, and right before you’re about to do it they start shouting- "hey man we were just kidding! Are you crazy? You’re going to kill yourself!” Well they were right. I jumped head first into loving her. We were wrong for each other. Using bodies, manipulating minds, giving the other what we wanted most- and expecting even more in return. 

She was inspiration. I was- something else. Our love was toxic. Everyone loves a good toxic romance- makes everything more exciting- makes everything burn. I’d breath in her chemicals till the end of time if I could- but our radiation levels were already off the charts. She’d kill herself soon. Or worse- I’d kill her. Don’t think for a second that I wouldn’t kill to have something like Sid and Nancy- and we were so close. 

I set the box down, thankful that it was the last one. “Anything else I can do you for?” She was cutting open some boxes marked bedroom, pulling out sheets and pillows- was everything an ascetic? 

“I think I’m all set. This really is too much- but you knew that.” I did. But material things didn’t matter. Id buy her an island if she wanted one- It wouldn’t change anything. 

“Well then I’d better be heading out. Press tomorrow- then off touring again.” My head started spinning going through the schedule I had set up for the next few weeks. She questioned- 

“Japan-" 

"Don’t start." 

"I’m sorry”

“Watch it- you’re going to cut yourself with that. It’s just tape." 

"Wouldn’t that be something." 

"Why would you say that?" 

"You’ve got a thing for blood.”

“I’ve got a thing for you- not hurting yourself." 

"That’s what I have you for.” 

“How’s Namjoon-" 

The game was over. We both struck nerves. I started to gather my things when she grabbed my wrist. 

"I don’t have my pills." 

Translation, "I need you to fuck me into a comma because that’s the only way I’ll be able to sleep tonight.” 

Her mattress laid on the floor- the frame would come in sometime next week- but there was something so intimate about its position. Moonlight illuminating it like we reached a check point- if we were so wrong together, why did the universe set up such beautiful opportunities? 

I laid her down. She’d been kissing me frantically, trying to get drunk off me so she’d forget what was going on. But I had a different plan. I carefully placed myself in the crook of her neck, sucking on every inch I could reach while whispering in her ear- 

 "I watched you- with Namjoon. *huff* I saw how he loved you-“ she moaned, "how he gave you want you needed.” She gripped me tighter drawing blood. “I’d like to try.” She stopped. Complete silence crashed through the room. Our eyes locked- breathing still heavy- she started to cry. God I love it when she cried. 

Holding her head steady, I kissed the tears laying on her cheeks tenderly, trying to wash away everything I did. Maybe she’d forget for just a little while. “I want you to know- *kiss- I’d do this all over again- *moan- I wanted to die with you baby- ” Id never said anything like that before. I’d never been so honest, not even in my music. I did want to die with her, but we hadn’t even started living yet- 

“We did die baby-” she whispered softly, wiping the tears for my eyes. She was right. And now she needed to be reborn. Into the person she truly is. And so did I. 

Hands traveling downwards, feeling every inch of skin. taking in her scent one last time. She was shaking from all the emotions and our intimacy. We’d never been this close before. Never touched like this. I didn’t know I could be so gentle with her. There were no bites or bruises. We were exposing more than our bodies tonight. I think we both needed to feel human together to know that in someway all the pain had been worth it. 

“Don’t take your eyes off me, okay?” I asked. I asked her to do this last thing for me. I didn’t command, or force her. I wanted her to want to look at me while I made love to her. I wanted her to know how vulnerable she made me. This wasn’t to make her stay. This was for us, 10 years from now, passing each other on the street and being able to say hello- you look well- I want you to meet- and then we’d smile and remember our last moments together, how beautifully toxic we were. 

Back arching, I entered her not losing eye contact. Our moans were in unison, our tears boiling on our skin. 

“I love you." 

"Always will." 

"Maybe we could-" 

"You know we can’t." 

I rocked deeper into her on my last sentence, holding her hips steady so she knew I didn’t want to say it, but it was right. She knew it. I started to feel her contracting around me while I held her tighter and tighter. Making sure she felt safe. Her lips were so soft trailing over my skin, our eye never too far out of sight. She started to draw shapes into my shoulders while my my hands tangled into her hair. 

"Let go baby- ” I knew it would send her over. I felt her walls suffocate me with pleasure as I rode her out. Her moans were sweet and breathless, I was so lost in her- 

“Namjoonah-" 

No. She couldn’t have. It was me this time. I was making her feel loved. It was me who was there for her- when she called at 2am- telling me about a fight she had with her mom. How she needed a place to go. How I was always there for her, even when I wasn’t. How could she. In our last moments, how could she think of him. 

Rage boiled something monstrous inside me. I was no longer in control of my actions. My hands traveled to her throat. I couldn’t stop myself. I couldn’t let her take another breath. My grip tightened as she kicked and hit me, a waterfall of tears soaking her body. 

"Jiho- ” she managed to mouth the word. I snapped back. Releasing my grip, gazing at the red marks that would do more than scar her skin. What was that. Jealously? I did this for her. She wanted this. She couldn’t handle me anymore. I couldn’t let her go. 

The only thing I could think of to do, was run. Run far away. Out of her apartment, through the streets, back to my place. After getting dressed of course. I couldn’t see. Water blinded me. I could feel my chest rise and fall rapidly, half from sprinting home, the other for what I’d done. I left her there. Alone. In pain. Real pain. 

I picked up my phone swallowing my pride. I needed to make sure she was okay. 

 I dialed Namjoon- 

“She needs you." 

I hung up. Throwing my phone against the wall, I knew I could never see her again. There’s no way he’d let me near her.


*Sorry guys- I know it was a little much but I have a vision of where this will go. Hope it’s okay*

People warned me about you before I fell in love with you. “He’s just one guy, it’s only one date, what’s the worst that could happen?” Little did I know. I remember thinking, “Everyone has a past, I’ll give him a chance.”

You were so handsome, such a gentleman, a real charmer. I didn’t understand what my friends were so worried about. So far, so good, you’d given me nothing to be concerned about, no reason to doubt. You always showed up on time with a book or sometimes chocolates, you knew I was never that big on flowers, you said you liked the fact I was so different to the others.

So many days and long nights spent with you, magical, beautiful, out of this world. It’s no wonder I fell madly in love with you. Your hand fit in mine so perfectly, I used to think to myself it was made just for me. That night by the lake when I became yours and you swore you were mine… I’ll never forget it.

I fell so hard, so fast, let’s be honest I was doomed to fall in love with you from the start. That twinkle in your eye, the way I felt on that very first day when you smiled at me, there was something drawing me to you from the get go. If only I showed up to meet my friend a little later that day, I would have missed you completely, never known you, you’d have asked out some other pretty girl and I wouldn’t be sitting at home alone right now trying to forget our love and your existence.

Why didn’t I listen? They all told me from the start that one day you’d end up breaking my heart. Maybe I wanted to believe that for once I could live without fear, I could be happy and in love and never have it end. Oh how silly I was, perhaps if I wasn’t so blinded by you I would have seen it coming sooner. It hurts, damn it, it fucking hurts so much. I love you. I fucking love you, you bastard. I LOVE YOU.

Weeks have passed and I’m still a mess. It’s getting rather pathetic. I want to hate you, I do, yet I can’t stop thinking about you. Everywhere I go I’m reminded of you. I miss you, I don’t want to but I do. I want to move on, I want to forget you but every time I try, I am reminded of something you said or something you did or I remember the way it felt when you’d kiss me when I was in the middle of saying something, god I miss that.

You’ve broken my heart, so why is it that I still keep in touch with our mutual friends just to see how you are? Because I love you, sigh. I wish I didn’t but I do. I still do.

—  I DON’T WANT TO LOVE YOU ANYMORE IT HURTS TOO MUCH