i come here for the free cookies and wine

Time will tell.



Me and Adam have been married for 2 blissful years filled with amazing trips, new music, collaborations, love, and genuine awe for each other….but something was missing.

Soon after we were married, we decided that we wanted to start a family, having both come from amazing families, but didn’t want to actively try for a baby, rather just let nature take its course. Being young and relatively healthy we naively thought it wouldn’t be too difficult- we’d just stop using any birth control and it would happen, right? Wrong.

It had been a year and a half and nothing. Every month was a major rollercoaster of emotions…until I would get my period and all my hopes were dashed. I never told Adam if I was late, because I never wanted to get his hopes up, but he could tell that I was disappointed.

“Maybe next month babe.” He’d say month in and month out as I sat on the sofa with a hot water bottle watching crappy TV.

Each time I would wonder why Adam was still here. He could have any girl, and they could probably get pregnant 5 times over and give him multiple children in the same time it would take me to just get pregnant once. I don’t deserve someone like him.

Today I decided to take a pregnancy test, because I was almost a week late and I was getting my hopes up. Adam was out for the day with some friends so I had the house to myself (not counting the cats).

The longest 3 minutes…. Just waiting to see what the future holds….

“Tay? I’m home!” I heard Adam call from downstairs.

What the hell was he doing here? He was meant to be gone all day. He wasn’t supposed to be here right now. I heard his footsteps on the staircase.

“Where are you babe?” He asked, walking down the hall.

“Umm…. I’m in the bathroom. I’ll be out soon.” I say hesitantly, trying to remember if I had locked the bathroom door or not.

“Okay! I’m just going to get changed and then I have a funny story to tell you.” Adam called back.

Ok, the 3 minutes were up. I picked up the stupid little plastic stick and squinted at the screen.


My heart sank and I couldn’t control my body as I slid down the wall, tears bursting out of my eyes.

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