i collated the tweets

Pinoy Alternate History (Part 3)

Just like last 2 years’ celebration of Philippine Independence Day, I joined RocketKapre.com’s Twitter discussion/trend/story telling about alternate Filipino history. By means of the hashtag #RP612fic, Twitter users shared their tweet-length stories about our country’s alternative history and realist micro fiction.

I decided to collate and post my #RP612fic tweets here in my blog because eventually, these stories will be covered with other stories, opinion, and whatnots on my timeline. I would like to preserve these precious tweets and let it reach a wider audience through Juan Republic.

  • During the British occupation, Tormund Giantsbane used giants and a mammoth in trying to penetrate the walls of Intramuros.
  • Doña Aurora Quezon, with the help of Lord Beric Dondarrion, returned as Lady Stoneheart and took revenge on every Huk members.
  • With the success of her 7-hour movie on YouTube ‘Querido’, Mystica collaborated with Lav Diaz to make a 17-hour movie.
  • As a punishment for his crimes against the State, Sen. Bong Revilla was forced to repeatedly watch his movie 'Kilabot at Kembot’.
  • In the latest episode of 'It takes Zeal to be a Rizal’, Pepe finally admitted that he has a love child with Gertrude Beckett.
  • Senators Enrile, Estrada, and Revilla are actually the last 3 Targaryens prophesied to ride the dragons and burn the Philippines.
  • After yet another heartbreak, 80-year old Kris Aquino posted on Instagram saying she’s ready to move on and find true love.
  • W/o any TV Networks willing to air his new show, W. Revillame built his own Church and called himself 'The Appointed Son of God’.
  • Right before the trial by combat, Juan Ponce Enrile asked his childhood friend Msgr. Miguel de Benavides to pray for his champion.
  • Headline: Sandra Cam finally exposes sex video! A bikini-clad Leila de Lima dances 'Roar’ with half-naked Cezar Mancao.
  • Overheard at the balcony of Malacanang Palace in 1986: “Ako pa din ang Presidente ng Pilipinas! Ngayon at magpakailanman!”
  • A teenage Jose Rizal updated his Facebook profile with “Edi sa Puso Mo =”>“ as his school and residence.
  • Elpidio Quirino’s golden arinola was seized by Imelda Marcos and had it smelted into jewelries.
  • Emilio Aguinaldo was ordered to vacate his post as President of the Republic due to overspending in the Tejeros convention.
  • Emilio Aguinaldo showed his music video singing 'Salamat Kaibigan’, addressing his innocence in the death of Andres Bonifacio.
  • The increase in the price of garlic in the local market is a ploy of the Aswangs hoarding its supply. The Treses are not amused.
  • Available for digital download: Sex tape of Ferdinand Marcos and Dovie Beams.
  • Captain Pedro Janolino’s last words before delivering his deadly blow to Antonio Luna’s head: "The Aguinaldos send their regards”.
  • Crisostomo Ibarra found out that he and Maria Clara are actually twins, a product of Padre Damaso’s relationship with Pia Alba.

I could have added other insane stories on my tweets but I didn’t want to flood my followers’ Twitter timeline and I was then in the middle of rushing (read: cramming) my diagnostic examinations for my students (Yes, I’m a High School teacher. Yey.) and watching the FIFA World Cup.

It is said that there are no ifs in history. We cannot dwell on the past and try to change it. But we can always learn from its lessons. As what George Santayana said: “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.”

But we can always use our imagination and think of a good and creative historical fiction. And have a good laugh.

Mabuhay ang Kalayaan! Padayon!

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