i care more about this than anything else

i can’t believe I’m saying this but you could make an argument for haggar (when she was known as honerva) being autistic coded. she fits the trope of the scientific genius who cares more about their research than anything else, who is stubborn and locked in their way of thinking, and who cares little for human companionship. autistic individuals often display these traits. it’s a bit depressing to think about possible autistic coding with haggar seeing as she is a villain, but i thought it was worth pointing out, especially since she is portrayed in a sympathetic light when we see her backstory

Saturday:
• drove 2 hours each way for my niece’s 3rd birthday
• also soaked up plenty of baby snuggles with her brother / my new nephew
• vaguely clucky during all the snuggles but I think I’m just clicking over the right hormones right now + the baby smell and snuggles; but really, I’m so done (not going back there again)
• really loving remembering how much I love red lipstick; have been playing around with an amazing eye primer which seems to keep it in place more than anything else I’ve tried
• diving head first into a bunch of things, in situations that leave me exposed to be judged, and trying not to care about it
• listened to over half of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory on our driving today, F seems to be enjoying it
• online grocery shopping has been going well - I’ve been using it regularly the past few weeks, and will likely continue with it for now
• I thought I had something to else to mention but whatever it is keeps slipping my mind

Today I was talking to my therapist and we came across some of the shitty things I’ve had to deal with and I went into my very habitual “it could have been worse” routine, and he said something that no one else EVER has. Thank god it wasn’t.

Thank god it wasn’t. 

No one has ever said that to me before. No one has even said anything similar. People love “it could have been worse” because it gives them an excuse to move away from an uncomfortable topic. They love to move on and forget. But in those four words, he conveyed to me that he cared, that the things I went through were valid, and that I didn’t have to talk about it any more than I wanted to.

Thank god it wasn’t

That’s how you should respond when people say that it could have been worse. That’s how you validate someone’s trauma without being invasive. 

Thank god it wasn’t 

you know, when Marvel did that shitty plotline about Cap being a Hydra agent (aka a Nazi) I wasn’t pleased, but I saw a ton of activity on my dash about it. People were angry. I think it was trending on Twitter.

personally, as a Jewish girl, I was a lot more hurt when the MCU had Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver, two Jewish and Rroma children of Holocaust survivors, whitewashed and volunteer to join Hydra. And when that happened, I never saw a single post about it. No one cared, even though the thing with Cap was a gimmick, and the thing with the twins was outright ignorant anti-Semitism.

I understand that Steve Rogers is everyone’s favorite white guy. I understand. but if you care more about that than the Romanoffs, then I’m not sure you understand much of anything.

I see that the same writer who did Captain America is a Nazi has written Magneto is a Hydra Nazi too. and I see exactly one person on my dash posting about it.

now, maybe it’s my own fault for following the wrong blogs. maybe I expected too much of people, to care about things like this, things that affect Jews.

when I made a post about the Cap thing a few months back, I was yelled at by a Holocaust denier and whined at by a white German who was “tired of being blamed” for history, as though history is not our responsibility, as though history is not always right beside us.

so here is my post about the Magneto-Nazi-Hydra thing: the political climate has been harshly anti-Semitic lately. it’s been anti- a lot of things obviously. but my people’s cemeteries are being destroyed, my people’s places of worship and community are being threatened, I have seen more swastikas this year than I have in the past five, and Marvel just put their single most iconic Jewish character in line with their fictional Nazi order. and one fucking person on my dash is talking about that.

I expected better. I don’t know why I expected better. no one in this modern world seems to know how to treat Jews. are we people of color? are we a minority? are we white? are we all Zionists? what are we and where do we fit?

you don’t need to have all the answers. I know I don’t. it would just be nice to know that someone gives a shit, now of all times, about how my people get represented and treated in the media. there’s been so much anti-Semitism in the news lately, maybe you don’t know what to say. to say about the real news or this Marvel plotline or any of it.

so you know. if you even care at all about something that harms my community much more than everyone’s favorite white guy getting a stupid plotline, could you say something? anything? don’t just “like” a post, it’s useless. if you don’t know what to say, reblog this, reblog something else, I don’t care how you do it, just say something. anything.

please. please say something. we can’t drown out their voices on our own.

I hope the way they treated your love haunts them forever. The way you poured your soul into them, the way you turned every darkness they had into light. The way you kissed their forehead when they were in pain and supported them through the most terrible times of their lives. May they long for you in the moments when they are looking for someone who loves them, who understands them, and can find no one who does it so well as you.

I hope the way they let you go haunts them forever. You deserved better because you stayed up night after night to speak to them when they were in pain, travelled miles for them just to see them because they needed you that day. You deserved better from someone you trusted with your heart, who demanded your surrender and then left you for someone else, someone who they said was better. May their eyes always look away in shame when someone mentions your name.

I hope that one day their ghost leaves your dreams and you aren’t haunted by them forever. May your soul heal from the wounds they inflicted callously by treating your love like it meant nothing, ever. Repeat to yourself every night before you fall into that fitful sleep:

“I deserved better than this. And I will love again.”

Because that is the truth, darling. That is the purest truth about you. You deserve someone who treats your love like it is more precious than anything else in the world. You deserve someone who looks at your effort and considers themselves fortunate for having someone who cares so much in their world.

I hope that you forget the way they treated you and someone else treats you a thousand times better. Your ability to love has been tested with fire and you may be burned, but you have come out alive despite all your tears. Your heart has been broken, but it is strong enough to mend. You have fallen in love before and you will fall in love again.

May the next person you fall in love with, treasure your heart the way it deserves and never breaks it or rips it at the seems. I hope the next person you love gives you all the respect, the love and the truth that you need.

—  Nikita Gill, I Hope They Are Haunted By You

Pouring your heart and soul into someone and then they decide they don’t want you anymore is the worst possible feeling in the world. And when they seem to just move on to someone else like they never even cared about you it hurts more than anything. I am tired of being hurt. I am tired of being used. This is why I have trust issues. When I love I love with all my heart. I don’t have anymore feeling to give anymore. I’m just exhausted and empty. I’m sorry.

jacksonwang852g7: My Dearest Mom happy birthday! 🎁🎊🎈🎉
Thank you for being by my side during my birthday, always insist of going to the supermarket even though you don’t feel well, just to cook me dinner. Always organizing and cleaning up my room. Always there waiting for me until I sleep. Basically thinking about me every moment. Always worrying about my health condition, about the amount of time I could sleep.
But to be honest, it really hurts me deep down my heart. You’ve already been through a lot back then while raising me up. And as your son I don’t want you to suffer anymore and I really want you to do what you loved to do and what you wanted to do.
I should be the one who is taking care of you and dad now.
Maybe in your perspective, sometimes you would say it’s a waste of money, waste of time and it’s not important.
But I just want you to know, as your son, The fact that I can do something for you, it’s happier than anything else, and more important than anything else.
Maybe I can’t be with you because of work all the time, not being able to do what a son is supposed to do. Truly sorry but I always think about you, and I wish you can be happy every day.
The world, no the greatest mom in the universe.
Happy birthday 🎂

I’m...

DOMINANT FUNCTION:

Fe: Empathetic and warm-hearted. Other people are one of the most important things to me and I find it hard not to care about them or to want to keep them happy. I’m a lover of people

Fi: Emotional and opinionated. I have strong feelings about who/what I value and what is truly right, so I let my personal values influence myself more than anything else. I’m an idealist

Te: Driven and responsible. If I want to get something done, I’ll quickly find the most efficient way to do it. I’m a go-getter

Ti: Rational and independent. I love making logical sense of what I don’t know and figuring out how things work to solve problems or just for the hell of it. I’m an analytical thinker

Ne: Very stimulated by ideas and concepts. My mind is always energised by interesting thoughts and connections between them. I’m a visionary

Ni: Detached from the moment by itself and perceptive of the bigger picture. My 5 senses only take me so far, I’m mostly concerned with intangible possibilities and hidden meanings behind things. I’m a contemplator

Se: Spontaneous and highly in tune with my surroundings and happenings in them, which I’m almost always confident in experiencing and interacting with. I’m a realist

Si: Quite in touch with information I’ve gained in the past. My memory is very strong and I’m constantly comparing what I experience in the present to things I’ve experienced in the past. I’m a traditionalist

who…

AUXILIARY FUNCTION:

Fe: Highly values peace and harmony.

Fi: Is very in touch with their emotions and their sense of right and wrong.

Te: Takes charge to organise their environment and accomplish objectives in it.

Ti: Thinks logically and analyses information as objectively as possible.

Ne: Has an active imagination when it comes unrealistic/abstract ideas and possibilities of what could be.

Ni: Has clear plans and goals for the future along with a good idea of how to realise them.

Se: Sees things as they are and has no problems with improvisation or immersing themselves in the moment.

Si: Lets past experiences guide them and influence how they see the world.

When needed, I can…

TERTIARY FUNCTION:

Fe: Be gregarious and charming to get others to like me or to keep a social situation running smoothly,

Fi: Remind myself of my emotions and ideals of right and wrong,

Te: Do whatever it takes to complete a task or solve a problem,

Ti: Step away from emotions and make sense of things rationally,

Ne: Consider multiple possibilities and play with novel ideas,

Ni: See beyond my senses and pay attention to the intangible and to what could become of something in the future,

Se: Indulge in sensory experiences and be open to spontaneity,

Si: Thoroughly compare an experience or an idea to one that’s in my memories,

but many of my faults come from…

INFERIOR FUNCTION:

Fe: Not being very empathetic or sociable and not fully understanding how to properly act in some social situations.

Fi: Being too objective and not being able to foresee what feelings certain things can provoke in myself and others.

Te: Being reluctant to ignore my personal values and consider objective measurements of value and achievement.

Ti: Placing too much value on my own and other peoples’ feelings and not enough on objectivity and rationality.

Ne: Not being very open to novelty or uncertainty.

Ni: Failing to plan for the future or to perceive what my senses can’t.

Se: Being uncomfortable with living in the moment or interacting with my physical environment.

Si: Being bored by constant routine and predictability.

South Node: Bad patterns

South Node is where we are comfortable so, sometimes we have a tendency to stay there with that traits and we don’t change.

South Node in 1st House: “I have myself, I don’t need other people, I can do everything by myself!”

South Node in 2nd House:“ I have what I need, I don’t need to share, why don’t other people share it as well or work as I did?”

South Node in 3rd House:“ I already know that, why do you think you’re smarter than me? Why should I explore when I have a great neighbourhood here?”

South Node in 4th House:“ I had a hard life already, why should I get even more tired and work harder? I don’t need to achieve anything else, I already have a foundation to fall in!”

South Node in 5th House:“ Why should I connect even more with people if I’m happy the way I am? Why can’t you let me have a little fun and enjoy life, why do I always have to care about how it will influence others lives?”

South Node in 6th House: “ Why can’t I help that person and do that job and fix that thing all at the same time? Why do I need to rest? I have energy! I’m not weak! Why do I need to get in touch with my soul if he’s not gonna help me with this?”

South Node in 7th house:“ Why do I have to focus on myself, can’t you see they need me, can’t you see that everybody needs me, I don’t have time for me! Why should I get to know me better if I’m not interacting with myself in the world?”

South Node in 8th House:“ Why should I keep something if it doesn’t have meaning? For my comfort? I don’t think so! Why do I need to stop taking things so deeply? Why do I need peace? I like living in chaos! I don’t need a quiet space and why should I appreciate things if they all end?”

South Node in 9th House:“ Why can’t I just learn about the whole world? Why do I need to focus on little things? Why do I need magazines and newspapers to know what’s happening? I can go and discover by myself! Why should I focus more on my environment? I’m a part of the whole world!”

South Node in 10th House:“ Why should I stop creating so much goals? Why should I focus on my soul too? I am fine and I need to achieve something to feel important! No, I can’t go home! I need to be important to the world!”

South Node in 11th House:“ Why do I need to focus on my life and the good things about her, when there is so much things happening in the world? No, I can’t turn the TV off, I need to know what’s happening in the world! No, I can’t go to the party because there are better things to do than enjoy that little party, the world is bigger than that!”

South Node in 12th House: Why do I need to focus more on reality when I created just the right world for me? Why do I need to serve others? They serve themselves! Do you need help? Oh, you have my soul here for you, take it, I don’t need it! Why should I work for that if nothing ever works for me?“

Jealous much

(A/N): I decided why the hell not do a poly relationship?

Request:  Can you do an imagine where the reader loves Bucky/Steve, but he has a girlfriend and when the reader decides to move on he gets jealous or something ? ( please make it angst at first and then really fluffy at the end ) thank you 😊

Warnings: jealous super soldiers, swearing

Tags: @mcuimxgine, @ifoundlove-x0vanessa0x, @saradi1018,  @holland-toms,  @superwholockian309@fly-f0rever, @capbuckthor, @livandlilah


Originally posted by marvxl-trash

   You sip at your drink sadly, your spirits had been depleted hours ago and all you wanted to do was go to your room and sleep until Sunday but seeing as how this was Bucky’s 100th birthday that would be rude. So now here you were, drinking all alone in the corner of Tony’s bar as everyone danced and had a fan-fucking-tastic time, or more specifically Bucky and Steve.

   You wanted to growl in annoyance when you looked over at the rugged super soldiers, all tall and thick and- God no, you needed to stop thinking like that. They were your teammates for Christ’s sake and here you were, ogling at them. It’s not like it would ever work out anyways…they had girlfriends and damn good looking ones too. Steve had Sharon, beautiful, slender, badass Sharon and Bucky had some girl named Dot, some cute curly red haired, green eyed innocent little thing and well- you had no one but yourself and a bottle of scotch.

   With a dry chuckle you drink another shot, allowing the burning liquid to soothe your pain.

   You had no right to be jealous, they were never yours to begin with, what made you feel entitled enough to dictate who they dated or fell in love with? The last one sticks to your tongue, making the burning in your throat a million times worse.

   What if Bucky and Steve both fell in love with someone other than you? What if they settled down, finally started a family, and you never got the chance to tell them how much you loved them? Tears begin to pinprick your eyes but you refuse to let them fall, this was a joyous occasion, it was Bucky’s big one hundred for fucks sake, you couldn’t cry now but you could drown your sorrows in your lovely scotch. You take another swig of the burning liquid, allowing it to simmer in your mouth before gliding down your throat, leaving an even more unpleasant burning feeling. You cough a but, trying to rid your throat of the horrid burning when suddenly there’s a hand upon your shoulder, grasping it gently.

   “Heya,” You look back only to come face to face with a stranger- but a rather attractive one at that. “I’m Brent,” You smile to the best of your ability, cringing lightly at yourself.

   “I’m (Y/N),”

   “(Y/N)’s a very pretty name,” You blush a bit. God, you were blushing, how sad are you?

  “Thank you,”

   “So um- I saw you over here drinking scotch alone and I thought maybe you’d like to go dancing with me?” You let your eyes linger on the man, brown hair, blue eyes, a gorgeous jaw and the perfect height; he was like the love child of Steve and Bucky himself and you were more than attracted to him.

   “I can’t promise I won’t step on your feet,” Brent chuckles as he takes your hand in his, gingerly as possible as though you were made of porcelain.

   “A few broken toes is no big deal,” You laugh as you make your way to the dance floor, the intoxicating music slowly starting to get to you. All around people were dancing, some more reserved but for the most part everyone was grinding on each other, having a damn good time and well- you deserved to have a damn good time too. Immediately Brent’s hands settle upon your waist as you slowly begin to move to the best of the music. A little grind here, a little grind there. Before you know it the two of you are practically dry humping and amidst other people as well. It felt so dirty but it felt oh so right too. You bite your lip as you allow yourself to succumb to the moment, to let yourself finally be free of anything other than Brent’s hands upon your waist and the way his cock ever so deliciously-

   “(Y/N).” There was a dangerous growl, low and throaty and more than intimidating. You slowly open your eyes, feeling rather drunk on the music and Brent, and you slowly focus in on the two figures ahead of you, each one with their arms folded over their chest in an almost defensive manner. “(Y/N), can we talk to you? In private-” It was Bucky. It was Bucky and Steve both standing there, staring at you disapprovingly. Oh god- what had you done? What was wrong? Did they somehow did out about your love for them? Or maybe it was something worse?

   A million thoughts start swimming through your mind as you slowly step away from Brent, giving him a soft apology before stepping up to the two super soldiers.

   Their gaze upon you was scary, a dark almost predatory like look to them. You’d seen this look a thousand times before, usually directed at Tony or some enemies but never you. God- to get them to look at you like that meant you had to have done something horrible. Guess you’d be finding out in a few minutes… 


   The elevator ride up to Bucky and Steve’s shared floor was tense, with one soldier on either side of you, making you feel small and rather childlike. There was an almost angry air surrounding the two of them and it scared you more than anything.

   You replayed the last week in your mind, trying to figure out what you had done wrong. You had done all your training sessions, every mission was a success, you had bought Bucky a birthday present; what else was there that you could have messed up? Your throat runs dry as the elevator dings and both soldiers make their way out, thus forcing them out with you.

   “You guys-” your voice is shy and timid at best. “What’s going on? Why are you so angry?” Both Steve and Bucky chuckle, shaking their heads as though they were amused.

   “You really don’t know why were angry?” Bucky’s tone sends shivers down your spine, and not the pleasant kind either.

   “N-no,”

   “How about the fact you were essentially fucking some stranger right on the dance floor, does that ring a bell?” Steve’s tone is just as dark and it scares you more than anything else.

   “I-I’m sorry, everyone else was doing it, I-I thought it was okay,”

   “All that man was trying to do was get down your pants,” For some reason now is when your nerves return, full force at that too. You went from scared and helpless to confident and angry in only a matter of seconds.

   “And why do you care Rogers? Maybe you should focus less on me and more on that girlfriend of yours,” Steve growls as he suddenly lunges for you, pinning you to the wall behind you.

   “What if I don’t want anyone down these pants, hmm? What if I want you all to myself, ever thought of that?” You gulp as you look at Steve, at the dark look upon his face and the intimidating look in his eyes. “What if Bucky wanted you, what then? What if we both want you but you’re too fucking oblivious to all our attempts?” You look to Bucky who shares the same look with Steve, dark and intimidating.

   His words don’t even set in for a few moments as you play them over and over again in your head, mulling each word, syllable, and vowel meticulously.

   "Wait…you both- you both want me?”

   “Fuck yes,” Bucky growls, his voice lower than you had ever heard. “Wanted you since the moment we laid eyes on you doll,” You squirm withing Steve’s grasp, looking between the two men uncomfortably. It wasn’t exactly nice to be pinned by Steve or to have him and Bucky glaring straight daggers at you.

   “What about Sharon and dot?”

   “No,” Bucky shakes his head. “They don’t count- they’re not you, they’re not as special,” You gulp as Steve’s face looms over you, his rather scary gaze only making your heart rate increase.

   “This isn’t some kind of sick joke?” You whisper timidly, a bit too scared to know the answer. If Bucky and Steve were lying that meant a world of heartache for you but if they said yes that meant a million other things- two personal furnaces to keep you warm at night, more coffee to make in the mornings, more love to share and receive-

   “No, how many times do we have to say that we want you (Y/N)?” Steve’s voice is right beside your ear, sending almost pleasurable sparks up your spine.

   You sigh shakily as his words finally set in, Bucky and Steve wanted you, the two men you’d fallen in love with wanted you just as much as you wanted them. Steve goes to say something else, his lips in a near snarl when you pounce upon him, wrapping your arms around his neck as you hug him tightly. The man must have been thoroughly taken back by your sudden moves but only a moment passes before he’s melting into your embrace, any trace of anger having immediately been wiped from his system.

    “You can get in on this too Bucky,” You mumble from your place in Steve’s neck. There’s an almost disbelieving chuckle and suddenly another pair of arms wrap around you, making the hug that much better. Bucky’s head nuzzles against yours and your unable to stop the happy chuckles that falls from your lips as Bucky sweetly kisses your lips, soothing any nerves or fear you previously had.

   “Save some for me Barnes,” Steve chuckles as Bucky breaks away, licking his lips deliciously. Without a moment to waste Steve kisses you, his lips just as soft and sweet as Bucky’s. at this point you felt high on whatever was in the air right now, lust? Love? Whatever it was you were definitely feeling it but the sudden thump of music floors below you pulls you out if your almost high. You pull away from Steve, much to his dismay.

   “Bucky, what about your party?” Bucky smirks as he takes your hand, gently guiding you out of Steve’s embrace and down a hall.

   “I was thinking we could have a little party Of our own,” The soldier gives you a little flirtatious wink.

   “But what about everyone else and-”

   “What birthday boy wants birthday boy gets, right?” You nod your head, biting your lip. “And I want you naked and on my bed in a minute, you Better be ready for us doll,” Bucky smirks as he gives your ass a light smack as you walk into his bedroom, more like jump into the room due from the almost heart attack Bucky caused you. “One minute doll,” Bucky gives you one last wink as he closes the door, leaving you to get ready for not only him but Steve as well.

   You bite your lip as your fingers tremble to remove your shirt. You didn’t even know what you were to Bucky and Steve, special, you knew that much but that was it, there was nothing else to go on. But one thing was for certain at this point; this was going to be one hell of a night.

~Extended ending~

    Two pairs of arms wrapped around your waist snugly, two warm chest pressed against you, one to your front and one to your back. You hum softly as you nuzzle into the closest body; Steve. His warmth radiated off his body in waves, overtaking the freezing room and keeping you more than warm. Bucky was pressed behind you, his scruffy face nuzzled into your neck, his breath gently hit your skin as he breathed in and out.

   You groan softly as you try to stretch your limbs but with two super soldiers glued to you that was kind of hard.

   “Bucky- Steve,” You poke each man’s cheek in an attempt to wake them up. “Come on, I gotta go make breakfast,”

   “You don’t have to make breakfast,” Bucky whispers into your neck as he pulls you a little closer. Apparently a poke to his cheek had been enough to wake him up unlike Steve who was now burrowing into your chest like a dog or cat of sorts. “You can lay in bed with us for the rest of the day,” You smile softly as Bucky kisses your ear, his lips barely fluttering against your skin.

   “So no coffee or bacon?”

   “There’s that pancake house down the road, once Steve gets his lazy ass up we’ll go there, sound good?” You go to reply when suddenly an equally sleepy voice penetrates the air, making both you and Bucky chuckle softly.

   “I’m awake you ass,” it was times like these, when the three of you could simply be- no worry of the media or the other avengers, no worry about hydra or aliens from other dimensions- that you realized you loved your boys more than anything in the world.

anonymous asked:

viktor nikiforov is a gay

victor nikiforov, known gay twink, romanced in less than 5 seconds by beautiful yuuri katsuki, japan’s top figure skater, who is going to land a quad axel and when he does victor is going to cry because he’s gay and every single gay person watching yoi will also cry because we, gay, all feel the same strong emotions and especially victor’s strong gay emotions towards yuuri because, like victor, i love yuuri with all my being

Raise Your Hand If You Are A Ridiculous Piece of Shit Who Takes Their LI From RPGs With Them Constantly Because Romanctic Battlefield Bullshit And Constantly Dies As A Result of Obsessively Checking Their LI's Health Bar And Caring More About That Than Anything Else and It Doesn't Matter if You Die As Long As They're Safe And Sound Because They're A Piece of Shit Like You

anonymous asked:

do you ever think about how when even was manic he said 'we're so going to get married' and then when he was depressed he said 'in another universe we're together for all eternity' and cry

I cry more about what that turned into actually??? They started off talking on such a grand scale, “man of my life” and “married” and “eternity”, and while that might be romantic… I feel like that didn’t serve Even particularly well? If you’re living life as a film, you might make the big gesture and let the curtain fall. If you’re living life thinking of all the parallel universes, you can comfort yourself that one of them is getting it ‘right’. What I really loved about season three was that it wasn’t too precious about anything, Isak and Even enjoyed all the talk about the infinite and du er mannen i mitt liv but it wasn’t what ended up actually meaning the most to them. 

What wound up being the most important thing was you and me and this bed and now. And then ‘move in with me because I want you and your dirty socks and your elbow next to mine on the kitchen table’. The everyday, every day. The “now” means more to me than any hypothetical forever and they’re giving everything they could right at this minute. That’s what gets me more than anything with them, seeing them take such good care of each other because they aren’t counting on anything else. Because life is

sadinasaphrite  asked:

I understand you have a long list of these questions, but figured I'd get in line. I want to adopt a retired greyhound racer. What health problems do you see with them? I've also heard they are especially sensitive to anesthesia due to their low body fat. Do you have a protocol you find is particularly safe for them? The rescues have too many conflicting answers. One even claims they never should be put under anesthesia ever, even for dentals, because they "just die!" Which is ridiculous.

Anonymous said: Is it ok to request another breed? If so, greyhounds? Possibly rescue racing hounds if that specification has any problems that pet raised greyhounds dont

and

Anonymous said: Hello! I was wondering if you could (or have already done) a post about greyhounds? Specifically racing-quality ones? I read something earlier that claimed they were a lot healthier than most dogs and I’m wondering if that’s true. Thanks!

and

Anonymous said: Hey there! I noticed you said recently you’d like to see more ex-racing greyhounds as pets - I’m seriously considering adopting one in the future and I was wondering what health issues you see in them? I’ve heard that they can get painful corns on their feet and that you need to be careful about their temperature, but is there anything else you see that a future adopter should be watching for? Question tax: came for the the vet stories, stayed for the refreshingly sensible advice :)

Oh vetlings, I have a lot to say about Greyhounds.

I adore these dogs, and am glad to work with them, but don’t specifically condone organised greyhound racing. Most of these dogs like to run, I would have no problem with them running around a track casually for fun, but once prize-money is involved it becomes too tempting to push limits, to cheat, to cut corners, to overbreed, and this leads to poor welfare outcomes for too many dogs.

Please note the disclaimer that these posts are about the breed from a veterinary viewpoint as seen in clinical practice, i.e. the problems we are faced with. It’s not the be-all and end-all of the breed and is not to make a judgement about whether the breed is right for you. If you are asking for an opinion about these animals in a veterinary setting, that is what you will get. It’s not going to be all sunshine and cupcakes, and is not intended as a personal insult against your favorite breed. This is general advice for what is common, often with a scientific consensus but sometimes based on personal experiences, and is not a guarantee of what your dog is going to encounter in their life.

Also please note that this will be a Long Post.

Originally posted by thegypsycob

General conditions of Greyhounds

Whatever their history all greyhounds have a few things in common. Most of them struggle to sit, they tend to either stand or lie down. Their pain tolerance is interesting, walking in with a broken bone but screaming at a tiny needle prick. They like to feel someone touching their head. There are also a few conditions common to them, regardless of their lifestyle or upbringing. They are one of the very few breeds that I think it’s not an exaggeration to say you benefit from seeing a vet with experience in this breed. We have a lot to get through, so I’ll try to keep the basics fairly short.

Bloat, (Gastric Dilatation Volvulus) is more common in the big males, but can occur in any greyhound due to their deep chest. Delicate, picky eaters seem less at risk.

Greyhounds are generally very athletic, but they can and do develop Dilated Cardiomyopathy. While they have generally reached a reasonable age before developing this condition,

Pannus can affect any greyhound, and this chronic eye condition is generally made worse by UV light exposure. Once diagnosed it’s not too hard to control with medication but it is a long term condition. This is the most likely reason you would see a greyhound wearing doggy sunglasses or ‘Doggles’.

Greyhounds can also get Progressive Retinal Atrophy, which may manifest as ‘night blindness’ first, though this seems to be less common lately.

Greyhounds, perhaps surprisingly for all the raw food they seem to get when racing, have generally poor Dental Health. Despite being big dogs that are generally pretty tolerant, most of them don’t like to chew. They’re delicate chewers and won’t necessarily gnaw a bone.

Speaking of bones, these dogs get Osteosarcoma (Bone cancer) fairly readily. This cancer has a biphasic age pattern. Basically it usually occurs in dogs around 2 years of age, and dogs around 8-10 years of age. It’s all kinds of bad, every time and there’s not much else to say about it, other than the life expectancy is short. I’ve talked about it previously.

Of purely cosmetic concern, greyhounds also commonly develop pattern baldness. Typically the affected areas are the thighs and ventral neck, and there are a few possible reasons for this. It might be genetic, it might be nutritional or stress related, or it might be due to blood vessel compression under due to large muscle groups underneath the skin. This generally bothers the owners more than the dog.

Greyhounds often have thin skin, and while this doesn’t necessarily bother the dogs most of the time it certainly bothers me as the surgeon! Some of these poor dogs will seem to tear themselves open with any little scrape, so be careful of the suture materials you choose. They are prone to pressure sores with poor bandage care too.

And associated with their thin skin, some of these dogs develop “Happy Tail,” which is basically a chronic injury on the tail tip which wont heal because the blessed dog insists on wagging it against solid objects all the time, despite the pain and injury. They can’t help it. They’re too happy, hence the name of the wound. This takes creative bandaging or the occasional partial amputation to fix.

Originally posted by emiliotheexplorer

Conditions associated with Racing

Most greyhounds are reared for the race track and it’s not until later that they’re identified as being 'unsuitable’ for the track. Some greyhounds will be 'retired’ early, before they ever get to run, but many will be retired either with injuries or because they just don’t win. Greyhounds that have been retired due to injury are not necessarily lame, they may have healed well enough to do normal dog activities, just not enough to win races.

Track leg is probably the most common 'racetrack injury’ we see. It’s basically a swelling on the inside of the tibia below the knee, caused by the greyhound continually hitting its hind leg with a front leg as it runs around the track in the same direction all the time. They’re usually not painful, and generally go away when the greyhound is not restricted to always running in a very large circle.

Corns are hard thickenings in the bottom on a footpad, either secondary to trauma, foreign objects (grit) or papilomas. They start out small but grow with time, and are painful. It’s like having a stone in your shoe all the time and many greyhounds will become footsore because of it. Affected greyhounds are often reluctant to walk on harder surfaces, and anti-inflammatories doesn’t seem to make much difference. We treat them by paring them out and waiting patiently.

Grit in foot pads can cause corns, and can cause similar lameness to corns, but will show up on Xrays if you use high enough detail. These are fragments of sand or other foreign objects that have become embedded in the foot pads while running. Greyhounds are particularly lame with this injury and often don’t respond fully to anti-inflammatories. They need surgery to remove these pieces of grit, and the surgery can result in corns.

A Fractured hock, carpus or metacarpal/metatarsal might be a racing career ending injury, but not necessarily a life ending one. Depending on the extent of the fracture the greyhound may have no lameness with a walk or light run, or may end up with a completely fused joint. Generally these dogs are only retired to pet homes if they can still get themselves around pain free.

A Split Webbing is an injury to the web of skin between toes. When this skin tears it’s nearly impossible to get it to heal if both layers are torn, so the recommended technique is to split it all the way to the base of the toes and remove the webbing. This doesn’t seem to bother the dogs at all, and prevents it from re-tearing over and over again as it heals.

Maxillary Fractures are a rare injury of long-nosed dogs who are also klutzes and trip over, slamming their nose into a fence or the ground. This upwards force can fracture the upper jaw, just in front of the canine teeth. These fractures may be non displaced, causing little more than a blood nose and needing pain relief and soft food for a few weeks, or they may be loose and need wiring. They are fairly uncommon overall, but it seems to be greyhounds that get them most.

Associated with racing greyhound husbandry, Neospora infection from raw, infected beef consumption (and similar Toxoplasma from kangaroo or sheep) is more common in greyhounds due to their high prevalence of raw meat being fed. It may present as anything from back pain to blindness, and you can lose whole litters to these parasites.

There are a number of odd Assorted Sports therapy things that greyhounds might be subjected to, from particular lineaments being used, ultrasound therapy, chiropractic treatment or 'seeing the muscle men’, some of the 'treatments’ racing greyhounds are exposed to seem more like hope and witchcraft than medicine. These dogs may also have been supplemented with all sorts of things during their racing days, including iron and B12 as the most common supplements. You don’t necessarily know what a dog has or hasn’t been given in its racing days, but most will be little consequence, if any, after a few months.

Racing greyhounds are also known for a few particular metabolic weirdnesses. Exercise associated heart conditions, exercise associated epilepsy, water diabetes (like a temporary diabetes insipidus), rhabdomyolysis and acidosis are the most well known.

Anaesthesia

Now, this is an interesting difference. Greyhounds are a bit different when it comes to anaesthetics. Most vet students will easily recall that barbituate anaesthetics aren’t recommended in sighthounds due to their proportionally low body fat (and very young or very fat dogs for the same reasons), but greyhounds also seem to have a different liver metabolism that makes handling this class of drugs more difficult. Fortunately there are many other options these days.

The whole 'they die under anaesthesia’ thing is…sort of true. If you put them under anaesthetic when they’re under 24 hours off the race track then they tend to…well… die. But when these dog’s have been at rest for at least 24 hours there doesn’t seem to be a particular increase risk of death specifically.

These dogs are prone to both hypothermia and hyperthermia under anaesthetic, and in life in general.

They are prone to rapid wake ups from anaesthesia, which is not fun when you have a 30kg dog thrashing about and freaking out. For this reason higher premed doses seem to help if you’re using an alfaxalone protocol, medetomedine/butorphanol works well for sedation and we usually use xylazine/ketamine/atropine for orthopaedics. I will not be posting dose rates on this blog, but rest assured greyhounds are perfectly able to have an anaesthetic. They’ve got to get their dental disease treated somehow!

Compared to other breeds

Generally greyhounds are considered pretty healthy. They’re not free of problems, but their common problems are different to common problems in other breeds. Greyhounds have one of the lowest incidences of hip dysplasia in purebred dogs,  and rarely develop the same common structural issues we see in other breeds.

Their blood results are often a little different. A greyhound in racing condition will have a higher PCV, and a pet greyhound may keep this in their retired life. They often have a lower platelet count,  by around 20-25% or so, and may have a relatively low T4. A low T4 can be normal for a greyhound, and hypothyroidism shouldn’t be diagnosed without a TSH level.

They are, in general a little more prone to being clingy or developing separation anxiety. This is generally because most of these dogs are raised in big groups in a kennel situation, and may not get to be truly 'alone’ until they’re in a pet home. Some dogs just need a few weeks of being spoiled with TLC to adjust, some dogs need some pharmaceutical assistance for a while. Some dogs only really relax if they have a companion, but it depends on the individual.

So that is the greyhound breed from a veterinary viewpoint in a nutshell. Some of these points are brief because I only want to give you an overview, but I do recommend vet students spend some time in a greyhound practice, even if you don’t want to work with them or the racing industry, because the musculoskeletal exam of a greyhound is so much more thorough and I understood hocks and carpi much better in greyhounds than I ever did in horses.

Phew, that took a while to write. If you would like to support Dr Ferox’s writing time you can via Patreon for as little as $1 a month!

American Jew (PoC Profile -Religion)

I am not an immigrant or child of an immigrant; my great-great-grandparents are the ones who brought my family to America, but I thought it would be interesting to see how my cultural experience compares to those who are immigrants or immigrant children.

  • Beauty Standards

Of course, there is the typical stereotype that Jewish people have big noses. I’ve heard people comment that someone doesn’t “look Jewish” because their nose isn’t as prominent. Just because someone doesn’t fit the stereotype doesn’t mean their identification is any less true or important. 

  • Food

Food tends to be a big part of Jewish culture. I don’t know if this is true for others, but in my family we have a joke that goes: “They tried to kill us, we won, we ate”. This is pretty much used to sum up every Jewish holiday because the holidays tend to revolve around the Jewish people overcoming an obstacle or celebrating a victory. Some of my personal favorite foods from my culture are latkes, sufganyot (jelly donuts), matzah ball soup, and falafel. On the holidays, my extended family gathers and provides a feast. Some of my childhood memories are of my mom making homemade latkes and my dad and I eating all of them before anyone else could get to them. I also have memories of my great-aunt spooning me bowls of matzah ball soup to hand out to family and of my grandma bringing us lots of kosher for passover foods.

  • History

There’s not much to tell since my family is very Americanized. No one in my family is a immigrant or immigrant child, so there are no stories of that kind to tell. My mother will tell the story though of how when she went to college, some of her roommates had never seen any Jews and thought she’d have horns, because that’s how they were raised. My grandma and grandpa were both born in 1938, so they have vague memories of the Holocaust. 

  • Holidays

In my family, we don’t celebrate any of the minor holidays. We only celebrate holidays such as Passover, Chanukah, Rosh Hashanah, etcetera. On the holidays, most of my extended family gathers at my family’s house. Together we provide a feast of foods like brisket, meatballs, potatoes, latkes, and more. We all chat and tell stories and eat a lot of food. Our families don’t go to temple all together, as most of my family lives out of state and doesn’t belong to our synagogue. I remember enjoying services when I was younger because my parents would allow me to bring books to read because we attended the adult service, and not the kid service. I remember dreading services after my parents stopped letting me bring books because in my mind, they were very boring and dragged on forever. Now, I get a little bored, but my rabbi tells interesting stories and makes a few jokes to keep us entertained.

  • Home/Family life/Friendships

Being Jewish hasn’t really affected any of my relationships. All of my extended family is at least ½-Jewish, so they all understand at least some of the culture and traditions. My town has a high Jewish population, so I’ve never felt out of place because of my religion. My middle schools were dotted with bar and bat mitzvahs, which got repetitive after awhile, but it was still nice to see my non-Jewish friends participating in prayers and songs. 

  • Language

Growing up, my parents sent my brothers and I to Hebrew School at our temple. My town has two main temples, so our classes were pretty small. I’m sad to say that while I do know the Hebrew Alphabet and can read fairly fluently, I don’t know the meaning of the words. My Hebrew School also didn’t teach us to read without vowels (most Hebrew is written without them), so when my family traveled to Israel we had difficulty reading signs and directions.

  • Micro-aggressions

It annoys me when people assume I’m Kosher just because I’m Jewish. It also generally annoys me when people mock my traditions or are just plain ignorant about them. Just because they don’t know about my religion doesn’t give them the right to make fun of it. Ignorance is not an excuse.

This was actually more than a micro-aggression to me, but an acquaintance and I were having a friendly insult battle, and they referred to me as a “terrorist” just because my ancestors are from the Middle East. At the time, I laughed it off, because though it’s a terrible thing to say I know my friend didn’t know what she was implying (which of course doesn’t make it right). But months later, I still find myself thinking about that comment. I don’t make fun of my friend for her Albanian and Greek culture, and yet she referred me to in such a negative way without even realizing the magnitude of what she was saying. 

  • Things I’d like to see less of

I’d like to see less of people caring about others’ religions. This doesn’t mean you should be ignorant about them, but I hate seeing religion cause rifts between people. Just because people believe something else than you doesn’t mean they’re wrong. 

  • Things I’d like to see more of

I’d like to see more people having awareness/knowledge about other people’s religions. Most people only know about their own religion and don’t know anything about other religions. I’d also like to see more of schools discussing the Holocaust and other major events that revolve around religion. I don’t know if this is true for other schools, but in my school we never talked about the Holocaust. Most of my friends only know that it was something involving the deaths of many Jews and it was caused by Hitler, but that’s all they know. They don’t know about the atrocities committed or the lingering affects; the Diary of Anne Frank and all of the people who were killed just because of their belief.

  • Tropes/Stereotypes I’m tired of seeing.

I’m tired of people picturing Jews and only envisioning Orthodox Jews. People think Jew, and they picture a man wearing a tallis and a yamaka/kippah who keeps Kosher and has a prominent nose. Everyone assumes that we all are this religious when whether or not you celebrate the Sabbath and wear religious clothing doesn’t determine your Jewishness. I’m tired of Israel being just thought of as a conflict zone, when if you go there you’ll discover an amazing, rich culture and history. I’m tired of people being ignorant of our struggles and conflicts throughout history

Read more POC Profiles here or submit your own.

anonymous asked:

Can I request an imagine with RFA + Saeran with a very short MC? Probably like 4'10-5'0 ft. This could be NSFW but doesn't have to be! :) thanks!

Anonymous said:

Hello there ^^ I would like to please request the RFA reacting to meeting the MC for the first time, but she’s a lot shorter than they expected. I wonder what that would be like since I’m 4'11 (about 150cm) and almost 20, so I feel like I look younger than I actually am T^T Thank you!

ok bUT CAN YOU BELIEVE WE’VE DONE HUNDREDS OF REQUESTS BUT NOT SHORT MC?? I swear most blogs have it, especially one that’s been around for a while like us;; I can’t believe it myself. Anyway, this will be SFW.

I made it more like mini-fics than a reaction because I can’t imagine anything other than, well, surprise and coming to terms with it. I’m sure you guys have read tons of short MC headcanons elsewhere already ahaha ^^

(Note: let’s assume MC has passed the age of puberty, otherwise being short before the end of puberty isn’t too surprising, you know?)

–R.I.

Request Killing: 7/30


Reactions to a Short MC

Yoosung

  • Out of everyone else in the RFA, he’d be the most mature and least judgmental about this, surprisingly
  • Honestly, he’d just be so excited to even meet you, he wouldn’t care how tall or short you were, or how you looked at all
  • Doesn’t even realize that you’re short until Seven starts making jokes about it
  • Yoosung would defend you first before looking at you more carefully and realizing that you were shorter than the average person your age, but he still wouldn’t care
  • “Don’t worry too much about it,” he comforts you, flashing a cheerful smile. “Being short isn’t a bad thing!”
  • Gets angry for you every time someone makes a comment about your height
  • Never teases you
  • Sure, sometimes it was difficult to find you in a crowd, but that gave him an excuse to hold your hand
  • He also loved getting things for you whenever you couldn’t reach
  • He just enjoys your company and treats you with respect regardless—just because you’re short, it would never mean he should respect you any less. At least, that’s what Yoosung believes

Zen

  • With him being as tall as he is, he thought he would be able to spot you in the crowds immediately at the party
  • Apparently he was wrong. He swore he’d be able to recognize you even though he’d never seen you before, and yet it’s been an hour since the party officially began and he hadn’t seen anyone that reminded him of you
  • And then he’d feel a poke on his back and turn around to find… no one
  • Huh?
  • You tugged at his sleeve, making him look down. Oh.
  • Though he hadn’t been the one to find you, he did recognize you immediately, and a big smile stretched across his face. “MC!” he exclaimed in glee, reaching his arms out to hug you—only to realize he wouldn’t be able to reach you unless he lowered them
  • Well… He was nearly an entire foot taller than you, after all.
  • Doesn’t understand why he feels a wave of pride rushing through him when he realizes how adorably short you are
  • But he loves it.
  • Uses you as a head rest, his arms hanging loosely around your shoulders
  • Asks to compare your hand and feet sizes, even though he knows he’s bigger than you in every way
  • Jokingly flirts as your hands are pressed together for comparison, “If you were a little taller, this could’ve been that much more romantic… I would’ve been able to put my forehead against yours, you know~?”
  • Loves teasing you about your height because you flash him an adorable attempt of a scary look every time
  • But he hates when someone else makes jokes about your short stature, and defends you every time

Jaehee

  • At first, she didn’t think that short person awkwardly trying to catch her attention in a subtle way was “MC” but realized that it really was you when you introduced yourself
  • Extremely surprised that you’re shorter than her
  • She thought she was short already (especially since she was surrounded by the tall RFA men, but Jaehee is actually average height)
  • She feels like she’s your older sister
  • Tempted to tease you, and beams innocently as she gives into the temptation
  • “MC~ Can you help me get this, please~? I can’t seem to reach it,” she said, pointing to something on a shelf that she could clearly reach if she stretched her hand
  • Would be taken aback when you basically climbed the shelf and returned with the item in hand, acting nonchalant about it
  • After the initial high of teasing you was over, she’d just talk to you like normal
  • But every now and then she’d find herself smiling because you look adorable and she can’t help but fawn over tiny things
  • Uh, not that she would say you’re tiny, of course…

Seven

  • He doesn’t hold himself back from squeezing you into a hug the first moment he sees you
  • Seven had already seen how you looked in the photos he’d found when he researched about you, but seeing you with his own two eyes made him realize just how short you really were
  • A goofy grin was on his face as he spun you around in his arms
  • “Why didn’t you tell me you were so cute and cuddly~?” he asked, pouting as he continued to hold onto you. Seriously, he had no qualms about being so touchy despite having only just met you
  • You’d stick your tongue out at him for calling you cute—gosh, you weren’t a little kid!
  • But he’d continue to treat you like one, even after the party. You would’ve thought the hype about your short height would’ve worn off soon, but it didn’t.
  • He’d use you as an arm rest
  • Lifts you up and spins you randomly
  • Tells you to look both ways when crossing the street, every time, saying that other people wouldn’t be able to see you because you were so short
  • Uses you as a teddy bear, cuddling you every chance he got. (But always ‘just friends’ though, according to him)
  • Pretends to forget your age all the time and asks when your 7th birthday will be
  • Teases you so much, you almost regret ever going to that party…
  • The next time you meet up with him, you were definitely wearing heels. It wouldn’t increase your height all too much, but it sure would let you stomp on his toes. Maybe then he’d fall down in pain. Who’s short now, huh?

V

  • He couldn’t help but worry about you the entire time at the party, nervously following you everywhere
  • Eventually, you’d be fed up that he just kept following you and not saying anything
  • He didn’t answer when you demanded why, averting your eyes as he thought to himself that you were short like a kid, and he wasn’t sure if he could trust you by yourself… There were so many people at the party, who knows when someone could bump into you?
  • And as you stood there, arms crossed, waiting for his response, that was exactly what happened.
  • A lady knocked into you by accident, causing you to trip and fall into V’s arms
  • It was then that he noticed just how short you were, because he couldn’t help but compare your height to his own
  • Before he knew it, the words had left his lips, “So much shorter than I thought…”
  • He hadn’t meant to say it out loud, but when you whacked at his arm, he realized his mistake
  • Feels guilty for insulting you and stays far away for the rest of the party
  • Over time he’d get used to it
  • Would pet your hair a lot
  • Looks out for you as if you were his younger sibling
  • Hugs you as a greeting, but always ends up lifting you off the ground by accident
  • Apologizes profusely every time
  • But he never learns from his mistake honestly
  • At least he treats you to a drink after, which you liked because you could spend time getting to know this mysterious man better :)

Jumin

  • “Are you lost, miss?”
  • That was what Jumin had asked when he first saw you at the party, only to realize that you’re the MC he always talked to in the chatroom
  • His eyes widen slightly as he realizes that you’re much shorter than he imagined
  • He did expect a height difference since women were normally shorter than men, but he had expected you to be around Jaehee’s height
  • Still, he didn’t comment about it, instead greeting you with a professional smile as he asked how the party was
  • You roll your eyes at his formality, telling him to drop the act since you were friends, after all
  • Jumin would have trouble stopping himself from glancing at you constantly, still focused on your height
  • Also worried that he’d lose sight of you
  • Questions your age over and over, even though the answer doesn’t change
  • Until he asked for the 60th time and you dryly reply that you were a few centuries old and shrinking. “Happy now?” you sigh
  • It was then that Jumin realizes his rudeness, and smiles sheepishly
  • He puts an arm around you so that he doesn’t have to keep looking at you to make sure you weren’t lost, holding on tightly
  • But then he feels a strong tug on the tail of his tuxedo, and he turns to face you, only to realize that his arm was around your neck
  • “…Oh. My bad. I thought that was your waist.”

Saeran

  • He had been hiding out near the bathrooms (where hardly anyone passed through), waiting for you to pass by so he could take you away
  • Well, he was lucky that you’d been dared to drink as much as you could tonight (Seven had been teasing your alcohol tolerance because of your height, saying you couldn’t possibly hold your alcohol with such a stature…)
  • You were running to the bathroom, trying to make it to the toilet to throw up, because… well… you’d had waaaay more drinks than your body could handle
  • Unfortunately, Saeran hadn’t been aware of this.
  • I say “unfortunately” because he wouldn’t have grabbed you so quickly, had he known. And then you wouldn’t have vomited all over him.
  • SHIT!” he swore, wrinkling his nose at the stench. But a job was a job, and he had to escape quickly before anyone noticed you were missing. So, out the window he went, leaving behind a trail of bile. This was probably the most disgusting (and obvious, honestly… someone’s going to notice the vomit and lack of its culprit) kidnappings Saeran has done in a while.  
  • He was still surprised that you were so short, though, as he carried you. He laid you gently in the back of the car, and you fit just perfectly thanks to your height. He bit back a smile, finding it amusing. Then he proceeded to drive all the way back to headquarters.
  • Although he had been ordered to take you to the Saviour immediately upon returning with MC captured, he couldn’t help but feel intrigued by you… so he decided to lie down beside you, even though he wasn’t supposed to.
  • He held you in his arms, relishing the feeling of your body against his own, secretly comparing how much shorter you were in comparison to him.
  • He gently lifted your hand, smiling at how much smaller yours looked when he held it. You were so much shorter and smaller up close, appearing so innocent… 
  • And Saeran couldn’t help but relax while holding you like this, gradually drifting off to sleep.
  • Well, he would only have this night with you, after all. He felt a bit regretful, but he knew he couldn’t go against the Saviour’s desires… whatever her intentions would turn out to be.
Words Aint Enough

It’s finally here. 
The one shot was inspired by this song by Tessa Violet: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pWAAFCZeIKM

Plot: Y/N never asked him to commit himself to her, but when Harry flirts with someone else it breaks her heart. 

Warnings: None aside from mentions of Sex. But there’s no smut. 

…. now….

I was in love with him. Whole heartily and knees weakening in love. Even though we were destined to fail.
What Harry and I shared was special, a bond much stronger than anything else I knew. Or so I’d thought. From the moment we met he was magical to me and enchanting. I couldn’t get enough of him. He was addictive.
And I would always do my best to keep him.
I liked what he liked, learned to care for the things he cared about and felt proud whenever he discovered as a happy surprise that I enjoyed the same things he did. Harry liked me a lot. I hoped that maybe if I adapted more to his likings he would learn to see in me what I had long begun to see in him. A plan that couldn’t possibly work.
Times passed and my heart grew heavier. Far too long my infatuation with him received little response and though I had tried not to let it hurt me and had kept on telling myself that some of his love was better than none at all, it’d pained me. There was only so much I could take, but to my misfortunate I’d realized too late just how much I depended on him. Too much. So far too much.

Harry had contributed a lot to me staying oblivious to his lack of romantic feelings for me. So many times he’d stolen a kiss to my cheek, had held onto my hand or had pulled me in to sit on his lap for no apparent reason at all other than the fact that he’d wanted me to be near him.

„You’re like my puzzle,“ Harry had murmured into my neck one evening after he’d pulled me onto his lap.

I’d giggled. „Because I’m confusing?“

„No,“ he’d laughed against my back, „It’s because we fit so well. With you sitting like this… ’S nice, you know?“

I wish I would have had the guts to tell him right then and there.

My fingers had squeezed his before leaning back into him. „Yes, I know.“

Always being the more confident between the two of us, I’d assumed those sweet gestures were him taking the steps I never dared to. Steps towards us being more than close friends.

But I’d been mistaken about quite a few things…

The first kiss he’d given me had been what doomed it all to change. His game of stolen touches and unspoken feelings couldn’t be played for much longer without me going insane over how much my feelings tore at my heart. And what had instantly followed our first kiss was much more.
I remembered that morning so well. I had opened my eyes and found him asleep by my side. Unlike all of his other touches, which could have been excused, this hadn’t been an accident. Kissing someone all night and whispering words over adoration… Sleeping with them. That doesn’t just happen.
Especially not when you’re as sober as Harry and I had been when we’d stumbled into bed and into each other’s embrace.

As I’d lain there I allowed my hand to reach out and touch his warm skin gently.
Images of Harry’s face only inches away from my own had clouded my memory. His kiss, foreign as I’d never got to taste his lips before and then familiar at the same time due to how many times I’d been staring at his mouth. Every curve, extra soft section and particularly warm spot of his mouth… I’d got to know them.

The smile was impossible to keep from my gracing my lips. Harry… my Harry, was naked and asleep in my bed, wrapped up in my sheets while I was wrapped up in his arms. His chest was pressed against my bare back making me feel safer than I’d ever felt before and when I turned my head just a little bit I could press my lips to one of his many tattoos. Even his legs were intertwined with my own. There would have been no untangling us even if we’d wanted to.

Keep reading

My writing

Disclaimer: Works marked with * are rated explicit for sexually explicit content and/or other adult themes. Works marked with <> feature a non-gender specific character. The works are in order from oldest to newest under each category.

Series 
Illuminate Her 
I. No Promises* - He needs her more than anything else, he needs to be close, to be touched and held. He needs nails grazing his skin and teeth dragging along his shoulder. Because he feels a little less like a machine, and a little more like a person when he’s with her. All despite her tenacious attempts to keep him distant from her. 

II. Patience Like This* - “I care about you. More than I want to. And that scares me. It scares me so much that I sometimes wish we’d never met. I hate that you make me feel this way. You kind of drive me nuts. But somehow I still want you. You mess me up so bad and I still want you.”

Atlas: Senses  
I. Touch* - “I wanted to stay. I wanted to fight for us, but you wouldn’t let me. You just left and took the easy way out.” 

We Talked of Forever
I. After Midnight - “You’re my best friend.”

II. 11 am* - “I’ll always be your best friend. No matter what.”

Oneshots
Next to Our Brand New Bed* - “Can I have a taste?”

Requests 
I’ll Never Be Your Mother’s Favourite - Shawn meets her parents for the first time and things don’t really go to plan. 

Fortunes - “Shawn. Say something. Please.” 

There’s Nothing Holdin’ Me Back* <> - “Baby, I’ve missed you, I’ve been gone for ages, and I need you so bad.” 

Where My Demons Hide <> - “I’m not leaving you like this. Please. Is there anything I can do?” 

A Little Help* <> - “How long have you been standing there?” 

Pickering* <> - Shawn hands me the phone when he’s done uploading the picture and I look at the image, the caption underneath it saying, “Us and our son.” 

Care for You - “I’ll give you a massage.”

Blurbs/bulletpoints/other