i cant tell if those boxes are in lined because my eyes just cant

Stiles Stilinski Imagine- Avoiding Love (Part One)


Authors Note- So this was sort of inspired by the film ‘Stuck In love” which is like the only romance film I can re-watch. The reader has quite an icy persona so if that’s not what you like then I’m sorry. I was listening to this song while proof reading and it sort of goes with it, if you care that is you can find it here x

“Therefore you cant live a positive life with a negative mind-” Stiles spoke, to conclude his class presentation. It was a Friday afternoon and your English teacher decided to publically ridicule you all by making you each do a five minute presentation on ‘Your personal outlook on life’. “Does anyone have any questions for Stiles, or does anyone want to challenge his view point?” the teacher asked. When you raised your hand with that cocky look of yours the teacher gave a small sigh that was almost inaudible, almost. “Yes Y/n” she breathed, you see she pretended to hate the many debates you and Stiles had but she secretly loved to hear you argue with thoughts in complete juxtaposition to one another’s. “Positive people also have negative thoughts, they just don’t let those thoughts control them” you contributed, mainly to see the face Stiles pulled when he tried to think of a quick argument back. “Exactly, so you’re saying that positive people have an overall positive outlook because they choose to ignore the negativity surrounding them” he scoffed smugly. “Actually, I was thinking more along the lines of negativity being with us all and some people wallowing in it more than others. But you cant define a positive attitude with ones ability to block out what happens in their life or around them” you retort. After noticing the majority of the students in your class were rather half asleep or confused your teacher interrupted and suggested you begin with your presentation. You stood up and smirked at Stiles as you walked past him, letting him know you were about to make his presentation look miniscule in comparison to your own. “I’ve always been one of those people who look ‘too deeply’ into a situation or into someone and that’s because I learnt from a young age that there’s always something more than what you could ever see. But the one thing I’ve never understood is love, I guess you could say it’s because I’ve never experienced it but if love means putting all your trust into someone besides yourself and hoping they don’t take advantage of that, then I think I’ll pass. I’ve watched people fall hopelessly for people who don’t feel the same and it’s the cruellest, most unforgiving heartache I’ve ever witness and what do we do? We convince ourselves that there’s some sort of force known as ‘love’ that excuses every shitty feeling we’ve ever felt, that makes the hell you feel okay because we’re supposedly all apart of a probable cause. So as you may have already guessed my 3am thoughts aren’t wasted on thinking about a guy who may or may not like me back, because I don’t spend every waking of my being wishing that I’ll finally find someone to spend the rest of my life with. Who’d have my children and get bored after going through a midlife crisis at 30, who’d look at all the young men at his work and be bitter of how his youth was somehow stripped from him by the responsibility of a family. Who’d end up having an affair, because they always do, dragging the children through all divorce has to offer. I guess what I’m trying to say is I believe that life has a deeper meaning, to the emotions we are told we should feel. Love doesn’t come naturally like sadness or anger, so why are we trying to make it more than it is? Life is what you make it, not what people tell you it should be” the bell rang shortly after you finished, the class clapped after hearing something that had never even crossed their minds before. You simply walked back over to your desk and picked up your school bag as if nothing happened, not seeing Stiles sit stiff in his chair, his mouth gawping at the sound of your harsh words.

”Y/n! Y/n!” Stiles called as he stumbled through the crowds of people in the hallway. You leant against your locker door and smiled as he approached you frantically. “What Stiles? Did you not have enough class time to disagree with me, so you want to carry it on into lunch again?” you questioned, with unavoidable sarcasm in your voice. “No, I just wanted to ask if you really feel that cynical about love” he said, as you began walking down the hall together. “You’re sweet Stiles, but I’m not a nice girl and you’re wasting your time if you think we’ll be anything more than this” you claimed, without batting an eyelid. “And what exactly are we now?” he questioned. “Nothing, we’re nothing Stiles” you spoke, it coming across more cold hearted than you intended to be with him. He stopped dead in the middle of the masses of students trying to get past to lunch or class, causing you to do the same and turn to look at him. His eyes widened as his head bobbed as he repeated the word “Nothing” in the form of a question. “Look, your friends are over there waiting for you. I suggest you hurry before they leave you” you said, deflecting what he was saying. He rolled his eyes, but said one last thing before you completely disappeared to find your own friends. “I may be nothing to you, but I’d be really interested in sharing a 3am conversation with you” he called. “We’ll see Stilinski, we’ll see” you called back, with an unavoidable grin on your face.

You opened your front door to see none other than Stiles Stilinski standing there, armed with a collection of Star Wars DVDS and popcorn. “Come in” you sighed with a laugh, not being able to turn away someone who resembled a lost puppy. “Are you here alone?” he asked, noticing the countess takeout boxes scattered on the kitchen worktop and the lack of sound other than the living room TV that was playing re-runs of old shows. “Uhm yeah, come on” you said, taking his hand and guiding him upstairs. You took the things out of his hands and placed them on your bed, before sliding open your bedroom window. Meanwhile he was running his hand along your things, that would have so many enriched sentimental memories that he wouldn’t be able to imagine if he tried. “Come on” you guided, gesturing for him to follow you onto the roof outside your window. “Are we not watching the films?” he pouted. “Stilinski you want to experience what a 3am conversation is like with me, this is as close as you’re going to get, so get your ass out here” you said while climbing out. He followed shortly and perched beside you. “How long have you been here alone?” he questioned. already half knowing the answer from what he could work out. Usually you were reserved when it came to things like your family, but there was just something freakishly weird that made you want to tell him. “You want the honest truth?” you glanced from the view of the outside world to look at the one in his eyes. He nod his head gently. “Well my mom caught my dad screwing his intern again and so they’re on a break together in the Maldives;  to try and ‘work things out’ so in other words its going to be an intense period of meaningless make-up sex because he’ll only do it again a few months down the line. So it’s just me and my brother, when he isn’t over at his friends house that is, getting drunk or stoned” you explained, sounding almost numb to the pain it should cause you. “I had no idea, I am so sor-” he began saying before you interrupted him. “Please don’t apologise, I’ve heard enough empty ones to last a lifetime” you claimed. “So is that what your presentation was based on? Your parents?” he asked. “Kind of, but their distorted version of a ‘normal’ relationship isn’t the only thing that makes me hate the idea of love. I guess it’s like religion, some people choose to believe in it for comfort and to give them hope because what would life be without hope, right?” you explained. “So you’re saying that love isn’t necessarily real, we just believe it is” he said, involuntarily raising his eyebrows. “Yeah, why do you disagree?” you asked mockingly, hitting his shoulder playfully with your own. “I do disagree. You see there’s this girl and I’ve liked her for a long time and every time I see her It just makes me smile and even something as simple as her tucking her hair behind her ear when she’s concentrating or yawning in the middle of class gives me a reason to smile everyday just thinking how lucky I am to have her in my life” he looked away from you with a cheesy smile on his face, that would usually make you want to punch him. Your heart fluttered for a moment, imagining what it would be like if someone talked about you the way he did for that girl but you couldn’t resist putting the barriers back up. “Just avoid love at all cost. That’s my motto” you sighed loudly. He shook his head with a smile, “You know, you make these things so difficult” he claimed. “What things?” you asked, furrowing your brows. “I like you Y/n, I like you a lot” he sounded nervous but relieved that he was finally saying it. “You don’t know the first thing about me” you said. You were experiencing so many new and mixed feelings and even then you refused to let your guard down, which must have been so frustrating for someone like Stiles. “Then let me get to know you, the real you” he finally looked back at you. You gave a small smile before standing up and making your way back to your bedroom window, gesturing for him to follow.

“You totally did cry!” you laughed, throwing a piece of popcorn at him. “No, I had something in my eye and no it was not my tears” he said embarrassed. “I guess these films aren’t as bad as I thought they were” you pouted, examining the star wars DVD box in your hand. “I don’t know whether to be offended or excited by that comment” he said, while pulling his phone out of his pocket. You looked over his shoulder to see how many missed calls and texts he had from all of his friends. “Oh shit, I’ve got to go!” he jumped up. You sighed, why does everyone leave you? You sat up on your bed and pulled the pillow onto your lap. “I guess I’ll see you around” you couldn’t hide the sadness in your voice. “Are you sure you’re going to be okay?” he asked, as he backed towards your bedroom door. “Yeah” you spoke softly. With that he headed downstairs. You weren’t sitting there for more than ten seconds before he barged back in, “On second thought, they can hold up without me for one night” he sat back down beside you on the bed and you looked at him with a smile and admiration in your eyes. That was before you shook it off and hit play on the next film. This time around it was more awkward for some reason and you found yourselves slowly getting closer to each other. You craved his touch, whether that be intentional or even something as simple as your arms or legs brushing past one another’s. Stiles checked the time on his phone as the movie came to an end, “It’s 1am, I best head off” he said softy, knowing you were half asleep. “Stay- Please” you spoke, looking up at him. He couldn’t help but stare at you for a moment, not really sure if this was actually happening or not. He slouched down beside you and stared at your celling with a smile on his lips. He didn’t expect Y/n Y/l/n, the girl notorious for being heavily guarded with little trust in people to rest her head on his chest and wrap her arm around him tightly before drifting off to sleep.

Your eyes drifted open, to see your arm resting on someone else. You felt someone’s head nuzzled in your neck and their arm around your waist. You ignored the initial feeling you felt and instead went with the one of regret. “Shit” you whispered, pushing them off you. Stiles groaned as he fell onto the floor beside your bed, which you couldn’t deny was pretty cute. He picked himself back up and rose to his feet. He’d never thought you’d looked more beautiful, strands of your hair messy but natural, your complexion glowing in the small amount of light coming from your window and your clothes all bunched, exposing your midriff, which you quickly covered after noticed him looking. “Get out Stilinski!” your voice was raspy and tired but still firm. He looked at you in confusion, “You do know, it was you that asked me to stay” he raised an eyebrow. “Just get out!” you threw a pillow at him and watched as he picked up his DVDS and shoes, before heading off downstairs. “Shit” you whispered again to yourself, sliding down your bedroom door after you shut it.

I’m definitely writing a part two, but did you guys enjoy this? Also bare with me with the other parts to “Because Of Me’, “The Girl In The White Dress’ and ‘What Happened To Y/n?’, I’m sorry I know you’ve been waiting for a while x

gaycanary  asked:

your headcanons simultaneously kill me and bring me to life every time i read them pls never stop


(also i love ur url) (and ur icon)

i dont think i’ve talked abt my hcs of one of them getting hurt yet, have i??  pity

  • it goes like this: there’s another assassination attempt on lena.  only this time, lex got smart, caught up with the fact that lena’s just as smart as he is, that she’s got security, that she’s got a super with a vested interest in her well being.  lena’s still not entirely sure how he found out, but he’s lex, so she’s sure he has his ways (she’ll try not to think about him figuring out her first crush, how gentle he’d been, still her brother then)
    • so lex caught up with the goings on in the world around him, realized that he’d have to get sneaky (granted, he probably didn’t use the word sneaky when telling his henchmen what to do (he also probably didn’t call them as henchmen……or goons)) but he gets SNEAKY nonetheless
      • the thing abt being best friends with your sibling, and we see the positive side to this with the danvers sisters, is that you are their secret keeper and lex was a crypt, kept every secret lena told him, keeps them to this day, but that means he knows every weakness she has, every gap in her armor, every vulnerability she ever trusted him with and he knows exactly where to press, what to dangle in front of her to distract her from whats happening behind her.
        • so here’s deal: lena has a sweet tooth.  always did, though her palate developed quickly and soon she’d learned that if she threw a fit at just the right time before sunday family dinners, she’d be able to bargain for these very specific, very expensive sweets from italy.  they’re, perhaps, her very own kryptonite (i kid, i kid (we all know that that would be one kara danvers)).  but basically they’re the something that lena never, not once, questions.  so when a box of them is sitting on her desk, lena doesn’t doubt their integrity, especially considering it’s her and kara’s anniversary tomorrow and her girlfriend is known to fly out for surprises such as these and lena had been dropping some pretty heavy hints about craving them lately
          • small problem
            • they’re fucking poisoned
        • kara’s in the middle of punching a fort rozz escapee rlly hard when alex comes over the line and says very quietly, very calmly that lena’s been poisoned, i’m with her, she’s in the med bay, she’s safe for now
          • its not alex’s tone that gets kara, not the actual words, it’s the hesitation alex has before tacking on that for now, as if lena’s not as safe as she was at the beginning of her sentence and then after a moment of shock, numb, all kara can hear is lena’s been poisoned over and over and over again and she throws the alien baddie towards the containment unit and barely dodges a couple billboards on her flight back to the deo and then people are scrambling out of her way as she superspeeds to the medical unit, to see lena lying on the table, pale, in the work clothes kara watched her pick out just that morning though now there’s a few spots of blood on her blouse and then she’s seizing and kara’s screaming and alex is moving to block her, hold her, telling her that they’re doing everything they can for her, she’s fighting, kara, she’s fighting and we’re going to help her fight
        • it takes a long time for them to figure out what poison it is, time that lena is quickly running out of.  kara cant decide what’s more painful–sitting at lena’s side and watching the life leave her, or getting bleak updates from alex about how they’ve scratched out a couple more leads.  finally, alex asks when she dropped off those chocolates for lena, thinking maybe they were tampered with sometime after, if she’d dropped them early enough
          • what chocolates
          • the ones on her desk
          • alex, i didnt give her any chocolates
        • its quick enough then, because lena only ate a couple and at least five were laced and kara’s just kind of staring at lena, beating herself up over this because of course lena would have thought they were from her, would’ve thought they were an early surprise, she shouldn’t have been so lax, shouldn’t have thought that lex was isolated enough that he couldn’t do something like this, and there’s guilt and rage in equal measure and kara’s itching to storm that high security prison (obviously not secure enough) and just start hitting bc this is too much, you know?  
          • kara’s lost a lot in life–and she knows she’s been lucky, really, because she’s gained a lot too.  a sister, best friends, a chance to help people as much as she can, but sometimes when shit like this happens, kara’s just fucking angry like it wasn’t enough that her entire world fucking died, it wasn’t enough that she drifted through a timeless void for two and a half fucking decades, wasnt enough that her aunt is dead and her cousin barely speaks to her and her parents weren’t the heroes she thought they were, like apparently none of that was enough, apparently the universe has to come for this too, for the way kara gets to wake up most mornings with lena draped over her or curled against her, for the quiet dinners, for the stupid wonderful kisses, for the way kara’s heart slams against her chest when lena looks at her like she’s something special (not supergirl, just kara danvers, bc that’s always who she’s been to lena), for lena like okay world, we get it, but can you give her a fucking break
      • she’s still angry by the time lena wakes up, days later, but it’s muted, dull around the edges because then lena’s frowning up at her, taking in the bags under her eyes (bc contrary to popular belief, supergirl does need to sleep and she hasn’t really slept since that day), taking in the way her clothes are rumpled (alex convinced her to change out of her suit around hour 16), and she grumbles something about kara needing to take care of herself and it’s obvious she’s still a little out of it and so kara’s gentle, so so gentle when she scoots lena over and gets into the narrow medical cot with her and lena rolls over to face kara (with a lil assistance (which basically means that she mumbles over and wiggles a little and kara figures it out (and also figures out that whatever medication the deo gave her is obviously making her a lil loopy) and she has to essentially lift and turn lena which is awkward in the little space but worth it bc then lena’s looking up at her, loving and serene and so, so worth it)) and lena’s snuggling against kara, tucking her face into her neck, hitching her leg over kara’s hip (a startlingly accurate impression of a koala), affectionate in a way that she only ever is when she’s exhausted or drunk or, apparently, recently poisoned
        • those chocolates, lena murmurs against kara’s collarbone
        • lena, you should rest
        • he sent them, didnt he
          • and its not a question but kara wont lie anyway, just nods solemnly and lena nods too, pulling at kara’s shirt and, being too weak to do it herself, waiting for kara to pull her closer.  she relaxes a little when she does and kara starts to breathe a little easier with the steady beat of lena’s heart, with the way she’s holding kara as tightly as she can, the way she’s still here, despite it all
    • alex finds them like that later, all tangled up in one another and technically she was coming to tell them that lena can go home, but she knows that its the first time in days that kara’s slept longer than fifteen minutes, so she rolls her eyes and leaves them be and slaps a sign on the med door stating that it’s out of order
      • how can an entire room be out of order, winn grumbles
      • alex just fixes him with a stare
  • NOW KARA like……do you know how scary it is to be supergirl’s girlfriend?  pretty fuckn scary like every other day seems like its a near miss, one step away from disaster, from the worst, and lena’s never fully relaxed until kara’s in front of her, in one piece and occasionally covered in soot or alien goo or drenched, head to toe, but whole
      • which is why its fucking terrifying to watch the woman she loves fall from the sky
    • run of the mill, kara assures her when she hangs up with alex, kneeling on the bed to lean over and kiss lena goodbye before she’s off in a whirlwind, changed and off the balcony in a blink and lena sighs, stretches, ignores the familiar dread that hides in the pit of her stomach.  she dresses, goes to work, and is in the middle of a meeting when supergirl and the newest big bad go flying right past her building and everyone stops, stares, which, good, because lena would have been awfully conspicuous if she’d been the only one watching 
      • and kara’s winning and lena’s trying to fight back a proud smile but then whoever–whatever, now that lena can get a better look, more android than humanoid, whatever she’s fighting uses some sort of weapon on her and then kara’s falling fast, no control and lena’s dread ratchets into panic and she has to watch, rooted to the floor out of abject terror, as kara hits the pavement below, smashes a hole through it, through lena, and she has to use every ounce of her hard won composure to keep it together, has to cut the meeting short and claim emergency with some subsidiary, and then she’s calling kara, then alex when she realizes with a hysterical laugh that kara’s currently dead or something close to it, lying on the street and when she looks out again, there’s a swarm of people she recognizes as deo and lena’s all but sprinting out of her building and her breathing is short and she doesnt have her medication on hand and fuck, this is bad
        • alex meets her at the partition, grabbing her hand and pulling her away from the scene, ushering her into a dark car with instructions to go straight to the deo and lena does and then she waits and waits and waits and then, finally, they bring kara in, and lena’s halfway to hysterical at this point, shaking hard and alex slips the bottle of her medication into her hands and lena cant even wonder where she’d have gotten it before she’s throwing one back, trying hard to remember that kara’s survived worse, that she’s in the best care, that alex isnt going to let anything bad happen to kara
          • she’s not let into the med room for a long time and lena understands that, she does, because what use would she be?  she’s still shaking a little, still gasping with every few breaths, still reeling at the thought that her god of a girlfriend is actually in anything near danger, but while she understands, it doesn’t mean she’s okay with it, doesn’t mean that she’s literally going out of her mind, still sick with fear and worry 
            • winn, bless him, is just as worried but there’s that flicker across lena’s face when she looks at him and he knows that, understands that more than anything else, and he crosses over to where she is, to the chair that alex got for her around hour two, and he leans against the wall and lets out this shuddering breath and is like she’s going to be fine, which, lena appreciates, but there’s no other option, okay, and then he’s talking again, very low and very tired, saying and if she isn’t, you still have a place with us.  and his voice cracks a little too, but he means every word and lena knows it, can feel it, and she hasn’t cried yet but this is where it starts, looking at kara’s best friend and knowing that he means it, that they all do, and then she’s hugging winn and he’s hugging her back bc that’s what kara does, she’s finds people and she brings them in and its so funny that a girl that watched her entire world die would be the one to build her own solar system, placing not herself at the center, as the sun, but their love for her and lena wonders if she’d ever thought about that, if kara’d ever considered what would become of all of them if she were gone
      • winn sits with her for a long time, for a long, long time, until alex finds them and she’s pale, shaken, brows drawn together but she’s standing, not a wreck like lena knows she’d be if kara were gone, and it’s something that it’s alex that comes, bc lena also knows that she wouldn’t leave her sister’s side if she wasn’t better, wasn’t stable and she’s explaining what happened in medical terms and there’s a part of lena that’s keeping up, that’s processing what happened (kryptonite gun, bullets fragmented on impact, in her blood) but there’s a bigger part that’s ignoring the anchor that the words represent, impatient for those blessed words that alex finally finally finally says: she’s going to be okay.
        • lena sort of sags then, falls back against the wall and winn lets out this celebratory whoop and half the deo looks his way, the other half seems about *this* close to joining him, but lena doesn’t notice any of it bc alex is telling her that kara’s awake and she’s asking for you and she’s saying she’s going to be weak and she has to stay under the sun lamps but follow me, she’s through here bc it’s not even a question if lena wants to see her
    • and kara, stubborn punk that she is, tries to sit up the moment she sees lena, tries to smile and hide the damage bc she knows the toll it takes on her, knows how lena winces when she watches the news, how she still fears the worst even when kara’s sitting on the couch next to her.  and alex and lena are kind of scary when they work in tandem, when their goals line up so seamlessly and kara is glad that they’re friends, glad that her favorite people all like each other, but it’d be nice if they weren’t so in sync only to berate kara gently and alex is pushing her back onto the table and lena’s tucking the shock blanket tighter around her shoulders and there’s no room for argument and kara just accepts it with grace, accepts that her people love her and want to take care of her, lets herself be cared for
      • and when alex leaves, she sets about taking care of her person, too.  lena’s pulled the chair in the room up as close as she can to kara but it still feels too far away, feels too helpless, like honestly???  tf can she do???  and kara’s feeling pretty fucking bad, but she takes it as a personal offense whenever lena’s feeling bad bc of her, so she sneaks one hand out from under the shock blanket and lena’s just about to course correct, but then kara’s grabbing her hand and squeezing it gently and lena almost breaks, almost falters, but kara’s the one that’s hurt, the one that almost died, and she puts all of her focus there, on that, on kara
        • they get to leave that night, get to go home, the sun lamps having done all they can for kara, and she’s just a little sore, a little exhausted, a little nauseous from the overexposure to kryptonite and she’s more than pumped to go home and put on her coziest pajamas and curling up and just……not moving for a lil while and lena’s just as excited, but she’s honestly so afraid, not sure if she can be around kara tonight, not when she feels this out of control, not when kara needs to relax, not a girlfriend mid-panic attack.  she goes with kara to her apartment, about to ask when alex’ll get here, when kara, already eyeing her bed like she hasn’t seen it in years, asks quietly you’re staying, right?  neither of us needs to be alone tonight and lena can’t find any willpower or composure or anything to say no bc she doesn’t want to and kara is safe, safe in both ways that lena needs her to be, so she nods and follows kara through to the bathroom, helps her shower, change, crawls into bed beside her and its one of those nights where kara wants to be held and lena can’t fault her, can’t think of anything that she wants to do more than hold her, so kara’s curled up against her, ear to her chest (it helps me sleep, kara once told her.  it reminds me that you’re okay.  lena’s pretty sure she doesn’t deserve that value, to hold that much power in herself, but she also can’t argue with the way kara looks at her) and kara falls asleep pretty quickly, but lena’s up for hours, studying kara, committing her to memory, running through it all in her head, over and over and over, and its only just before sunrise that she finally falls asleep
So I need to just say a few things and it may be ramblings but here goes....


A few things:


Dear god thank you. they are so beautiful i could cry. yes the sexy times were so hot i thought i was going to combust but it was other moments that were much more poignant to me. WEARING HIS NAVY T SHIRT. This right here was breathtaking. They were so beautiful and comfortable and at ease with each other. Even holding hands when she is on the phone. YESSSSSSSSSSS.

Their lovers quarrel in the oval. I just loved the fact that they just went for it and Liz and David were like ermmmm….

“I want you” - Truman balcony this is so so so fricking important i cant. She is fighting for them, she wants to fix them so they can be great together. It was such an intense scene. I feel like Fitz needed to be brought down to that level to realise what they needed. Liv obviously saw it with the princess and the parallels were second to none. But this was so important and it made me so happy. The old Olivia would have run away and chosen to ignore the problems, she is facing them because she wants to be with him and grow with him. THIS IS CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT PEOPLE. Obviously Sally Langston has to go shit all over them and it will be tough for them but she is willing to fight, and so is he.

They made me so mushy this episode, i thought my heart would burst.


I felt sorry for her, I really did. A part of me cant wait for Liv and Abby to talk about girlie stuff together but this is all so new for Olivia and she needs time to just be “them” (her and fitz) and i get that. Abby looked pissed at the end, but I think it is more to do with the fact that it makes her look incompetent in front of other staff. She knows Olivia, she knew inside that something wasn’t right there. They’ll work things out.

I always have time for Abby, out of all the gladiators, im always here for her. She will have a very interesting role this season with her ties to the WH and her loyalty and friendship to Liv. Itll be interesting and I am excited to see where it goes.

Fitz (& Mellie)

This should probably mentioned with the Olitz stuff but I like to think that Olivia doesn’t have to fall within their drama and it is their mess on their own. FITZ SERVED HER AND DID IT SO BRILLIANTLY. I wanted to slap Mellie’s pathetic fake “i regret what i did face” the minute I saw it. Fitz didn’t take her shit either. This Mutually Assured Destruction thing is interesting, its good. Fitz knows Mellie wants power more than anything and she may not go without a fight but when you’re as obtuse as Mellie is, it is easy to predict where she’ll go with this.  In Fitz’s eyes he has nothing to lose with his Presidency, he has ticked all the boxes and now he has the one thing that will finally make him the happiest man in the world.. He is still willing to go to the ends of the earth for her… BUT…this divorce is not about Olivia and that’s what is so important as well. She was not involved at all. She is just his light and air and life.

I loved how EVERYONE shot Mellie down this episode. Seeing her crumble and realise that she has fucked everyone around brought me slight happiness. She had it coming. Do i think it will change the way she behaves? No. When a spoiled little brat doesn’t get her way, she throws a temper tantrum until things happen…. just this time, the things she wants to happen wont. 


Quinn - It was nice to see you, but nothing really happened. She comes when Olivia needs and thats it. I don’t know where they’re going to go with Quinn this season but she was just a pleasant addition this week. Not offensive, just there.

Huck - That scene with Olivia was great, they do have GREAT scenes together. The thing is with Huck is its still the same shit and I get that he will never be a normal person but he is still in this B613 bubble and everyone else has moved on. Olivia needs to know what he did but I also think she’s is past it. She wants the truth so she can help him. I also LOVED how she had to point out that she is not able to change the person. She had to remind Huck, for her sanity, that it is NOT ON HER to fix him. THAT WAS BIG FOR OLIVIA AS WELL.

(Side Note: Livvie still hasnt been home cos that couch cushion is missing and shes been preoccupied).

FISH FACE (JAKE for the slow people) - It was a blessing not see you on my screen for 99% of the episode and the 10 seconds you did appear you still manage to stand there like a wooden spoon. Seriously, awards for the worst acting ever have to go to Scott Foley. Even I could have done better. But that’s where they’re putting him. Huck’s babysitter. So he’s gone from being Olivia’s babysitter/stalker to Huck’s babysitter… at least we know what he is good for. This is where the B613 will never fully disappear because Jake Ballard is around and he has to be kept relevant and Huck will never not be B613. I’d be happy to see them both go, maybe not Huck as much cos he is good for Olivia at times. But ye. FISH FACE. Keep your appearances to 10 second cameos and we will be ok - within limits..

Random Thoughts

Lizzie - I smell her shit from a mile off. As soon as she realised Olivia was influencing Fitz and was around she was planning. It is obviously her who leaked all that shit to Sally, tell me if you think otherwise.

Cyrus - I would’ve thought initially that he leaked the shit to Sally, but he wants back in the White House and he wouldn’t have access to all those images. He wants back on Fitz’s side. Shonda could pull a 180 and have him be the leak after all once he is back in business, cos lets face it i dont think Cyrus is going anywhere.

Could it be Joke? another way to keep him relevant?

FINALLY - DID THIS PRINCESS STORY LINE NOT SCREAM OUT TO PEOPLE “PRINCESS DIANA CONSIPRACY” - Maybe it is me as a British person but that is what i thought as soon as I saw the tunnel and camera men - “The peoples princess” ??? COME ONE- ANYONE ELSE?

Nate Maloley Engagement Imagine

Today is my birthday and Nate is on tour. He told me he wasnt avle to get off tour with the Jack’s. Good thing my mom flew all the way out to L.A for my birthday.

I was getting ready to go out to dinner with my mom. I really truly just wanted to stay in go on skype and watch chick flicks with Nate but no I have to go out. My mom insisted. Since it is my birthday my mom bought me a dark red dress that came to my thighs and tied into a bow around my neck. I put on some black heels and my dress. I curled my hair just the way I liked and did my makeup.

“Penn dear are you ready? We have a reservation!” My mom yelled to me at the top of the stairs.

“Yeah just hold on for one minute!” I went ro my jewelry and pulled out an infinity necklace engraved with Nate and I’s names on it. I smiled in remembrance from the romantic night. I smiled and turned out my light. I walked downstairs to see my mom looking at her watch. She was wearing a black dress nude colored pantyhose and black heels. Her hair was pulled back into a sock bun.

“Mom, Is it too much?” I ask feeling a little over dressed.

“You look like the most beautiful girl in the world! Now lets take a picture!” She said. She held out her phone to me. “I’m no good at selfies honey. Bare with me and take one for me.” She said. I laughed and took some serious and funny. I handed her back her phone.

We went outside and hopped into her Honda CRV and drove off to our dinner date at someplace called Azumi. I looked it up its a really expensive sushi place. I wasnt paying attention and the car stopped suprisingly at a park.

“Um, is the sushi place in a park or..” I asked. She chuckled slightly.

“No, Penn just follow the path and you’ll get there trust me. Now go! You wont regret it.” She said and headed back towards her car. I headed towards the paved path. I walked for about a good 2 minutes until I saw ballons on a bench. It read.

“Penn you look stunning in that dress. Even though I havent seen you in that dress you always look beautiful to me. Oh by the way it’s Nate. Anyway on your birthday i have a suprise for you. Do you remember this bench? Well its where we met. I sat right next to you. Do you remember what I said? I said what is a beautiful girl like you doing all alone at a park in the summer at 6:00 pm? You looked at me funny with those light brown eyes that sparkle every time i tell you, you look pretty or when i sing you a song. Those dimples that make your cheeks so cute. When you blush my legs get all like jello. Your smile. Dammit that smile. You could kill someone with that smile. Its so contagious just thinking about makes me smile. This is like what a million pages long? Anyway turn your phone on and i hope you brang headphones. Put in the headphones and put on Often by the weekend. Go to youtube it should be on my youtube page and listen to it. Keep walking down the path. Love you Penny!”

I smiled at the note. My face is probably extremley red but hey he makes me like this all the time. I turned on my phone plugged in my beats buds and went to his youtube page and started playing the video.

“I love sleeping all alone
This time around bring your friend with you
But we ain’t really going to sleep at all
You ain’t gonna catch me with them sneak pictures
In my city I’m a young God
That pussy kill be so vicious
My God white, he in my pocket
He get me redder than the devil ‘til I go nauseous.” Nate sang. I felt my legs go all jello knowing it was all for me.

The song and video ended. I looked up to see pictures of me and nate together throughout the four years of us being together. I saw the note tucked under a ribbon on a present.

"Hey beautiful Nate again. Just wanted to remind you to bring a jacket. Oops too late. Anyway I remeber you stealing my jackets so remember how I never let you touch my Omaha high school sweatshirt. Well open the present love. Dont forget to keep walking down the path babygirl.”

I put the note in my clutch and opened the present. I saw his omaha sweatshirt neatly folded in the box. I felt so overwhelmed knowing how much he loved this sweatshirt. I put on the sweatshirt because it suddenly got really cold. It smelled like him. It made me miss him like crazy.

I walked until the path came to an end. I saw a red carpet lead to a car. I walked up to the car. Matthew Espinosa stood there with the door open like a gentlemen. I hugged him as he let go he slipped a piece of paper in the sweatshirt pocket.

I went into the car. I put on my seatbelt. I was really thirtsy so i popped open the mini fridge to find the only drink was champagne. I mentally groaned and took it out and started drinking it. I took it out.

“Like the drink selection I see. Babe you know you cant deny it. I know how thirsty you get ;). Anyway these past 4 years 2 months 5 days 2 hours 34 minutes and 56 seconds has been the best years of my whole life. Now look at the screen that Matt the gentleman will now provide just say the words Nate is a sexy fucking daddy. Love you Penny.”

I chuckled at the last part and randomly said “Nate is a sexy fucking daddy.” I giggled as Matt shook his head. A little screen came down. I saw Jack and Jack.

“Hey Pennsylvania!” Gilinsky said as I chuckled at my name he gave me.

“We wish we could be there for your 19th birthday! Sorry we booked a show on your birthday!” Johnson said.

“You jacks have you seen my last clean pair of socks?” I heard Nate say in the backround. He came into the frame. He looked straight at the camera. “Nevermind. Hey princess you look beautiful.” He said and winked. He then left the frame.

“Anyway we cant give you your gift in persin so kindly pause this video and tell Matt the gentleman to give him our present to you.” Gilinsky said.

I paused the movie and tapped matt. He gave me a flash drive. I chuckled. And unpaused the video.

“We know you dont have your laptop so thats why when you get home you can look at it!” Johnson said.

“We love you Pennsylvania! See you soon!” They said in sync. The video ended and so did the car ride. I saw my dance studio. It said “Angles and Lines Dance Company” in big red glowing letters as i stepped out of the car/limo. I saw a trail of rose pedals leading towards the door. I walked in and saw the receptionist Ashley. I took off your sweater and placed it on a hanger and went into Studio A. I saw my friends and relatives with a few of my famous viners i am friends with.

“Penn this song explains you and Nates relationship. What better way to show you then to show you what you do and dance to it.” Jess said. My mom pressed play on the cd player as “I Wish You Would” by Taylor Swift started playing. My guy friends started dancing to the beat. Then the girls took over. The capable relatives that werent old started dancing. I laughed. Everyone was dancing in the end. At the end of the song I saw a familiar face dancing. I stood up straight after leaning in the doorway. It was Nate dancing. He made his way to the front. It made evey good sense in me not to go up and run into his arms. The song ended and I clapped.

“Penny, I love you ever since I met you when you were 15 in that park. When you were writing down choreography for the schools musical Grease when you were Sandy. Well now I guess I’m Danny. You’re the Bonnie to my Clyde. The Tris to my Tobias. The Ginny to my Harry. What I’m trying to get at is, if you werent in my life I probably still be searching for you. So Penny.” Nate said. He suddenly got down on one knee. I was almost in tears. My hands covered my mouth as he pulled out a small black box.

“Mari Pennington Boatwright, you’ve already gave me four years of happiness, will you now give me eternal happiness and marry me?” He asked as he opened the bow to reveal a ring with a small diamond on it. It looked like my grandma’s but updated.

Tears were flowing out of my eyes by now. I couldn’t speak so I nodding and gave him my left hand. He got it out of the box and slipped it on my ring finger it fit perfectly. I wrapped my arms around him and engulfed him into a hug and started crying. I realeased and pulled him into a makeout session. I heard someone unclear there throat. I pulled away and held Nates hand as my relatives clapped and came to congradulate us.

This was for the beautiful and lovely Penn 💕 or aka magcon-omahasquad ily ❤️

Dont forget you can always request!!!