i cant taste or touch

i was seven and he was my stepbrother. he kissed me and touched me and hurt me and i DON’T FUCKING CARE WHAT THE THERAPIST SAYS YOU WEREN’T EXPERIMENTING YOU JUST WANTED SOMETHING TO HURT. i cant ever imagine anyone touching me without tasting you, smelling you, feeling your dirtyfuckingevilabusive hands all over me. even after everything you did i still had to live in the same house as you for year after year, tensing every time you walked passed, every time you called me by my nickname. you never even fucking apologized. i hope you fucking die, i hope you’re never loved.