YOU THINK KEITH SAID “I SAID I WOULDN’T CRY” BECAUSE HE KNEW TALKIGN ABOUT THSI STUFF WOULD MAKE HIM CRY??? U THINK HHE KNOWS IT MIGHT MAKE HIM CRY BC HE CRIES ABOUT IT ANYWAYS, WHEN HE’S ALONE, WHEN HE’S ISOLATING HIMSELF, HE CRIES BC HE FEELS ABANDONED AND KNOWS THAT BY PUSHGING PEOPLE AWAY HE’LL CONTINUE TO BE ALONE AND D HTEN CRIES HARDER BECUASE HE’S !!!! DOING IT TO HIMSELF AND HE DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO STOP BECAUS E THIS IS ALL HE’S KNOWN HIS WHOLE LIFE - PUSH PEOPLE AWAY AND KEEP HIS WALLS UP SO THAT THEY CANT LEAVE HIM FIRST, SO THAT HE CAN’T GET HURT AND REJECTED AGAIN BUT IN DOING SO HE KEEPS HIMSELF MISERABLE AND IS THE SOURCE OF HIS OWN PAIN DO YOU THINK HE KNOW’S HE IS ACTING AS HIS OWN WORST ENEMNY IN THESE RGEGARDS DO OYU TH
Its been a year now since you left and i guess I’m doing fine. I have days where i cant get you off my mind and i check up on you all day, then i have days where you only cross my mind once or twice. There are days where i feel everything and just wish you would come back, then there are days where i feel nothing for you and don’t think about you at all. It sucks cause deep down i know i really just want you to come back, but checking up on you, i know you’re happy alone and i probably don’t even cross your mind anymore. We text here and there but its only because i have stuff to give back to you. But now I have nothing left to give back, and we stopped talking completely .a year now and i still cant forget about you. A year now and you’re still all i think about, all i dream about, it sucks. I wish i can just erase everything, forget all the memories because they make me more sad than happy. I’m slowly forgetting about you, losing feelings, letting go… just a few more months and hopefully ill be ready to let you go and move on..
So I have ADHD and I’ve been researching a lot more about it, and there’s this thing called “Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria” which apparently is mainly specific to those with ADHD.
Now, I just heard about it the other day but just learning about it made me realize how I share many similar symptoms. Which helps me a lot because I hate not being able to understand things.
And hopefully it helps other people with ADHD feel better too, to realize some of the things they feel are not uncommon.
So Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria or RSD, from what I understand, is the super heightened dislike of criticism and being afraid of people getting mad at you, and anything that may come off as mean makes you feel like absolute shit. and you believe that if anyone seems a little off it’s because of something you did.
So then people who have RSD will tend to do things to avoid these situations at all cost.
Such as, being people pleasers, doing a lot of whatever they can to make sure that people feel accommodated and happy. Taking a lot of their life to making other people feel better.
Trying to be perfect. If no one finds flaws in the individual then they cant be criticized.
Or they give up on things all together. They stop doing things because if they don’t do stuff then no one can get angry or mad at them.
Basically you try anything to never put yourself in a compromising position.
Idk learning about this was good because it helped me figure something new about myself so I wanted to share the information. I hope at least one thing made sense because I’m still not exactly sure about everything it entails.
If any of you know more about it, please add to this.
I talked to the Hageman bros who were so sweet and so excited to see more older female fans and talked a lot about their loyal fans (and also told me seliel was not associated with their show so QQ)
then i talked to tommy and got a little excited to hear him talk. Then I took the chance and was like “oh haha can i show you some of my art? i love making fanart for the show.” and he’s like “oh yeah, sure :D” then i showed him my screen and he was like “:0000 ohhh!!!! it’s you! i know your art! you make some really cool stuff and i check them on other websites all the time! ” and I. cried. and while i was trying not to get too excited, he was like “I have something to give you! “ he reached into his backpack and gave me this picture of nya like “ah sorry it’s crumpled, but here you go!”
and i seriously could not breATHE cuz like BRO its an original drawing from him that he gave me and he knows of me im overwhelmed i just wanted to show yall because i cant stop cry i ng ok b ye
possible beta kids pasttimes/hobbies if they lived on earth in 2017
youtuber, movie reviews, "hit that like and subscribe and comment down below what i should do a video about next", goes on /x/ to talk about supernatural ghosty stuff
has many twitter followers, probably a goth socialist well-respected writer who actively posts about politics and livetweets the new twin peaks episodes
tumblr funnyman, was vine famous until it got shut down, makes shittily godlike youtube poops, has a soundcloud, is always on discord but status always set to do not disturb, cant stop saying oh worm unironically, posts weird abstract instagram pictures
livestreams animal crossing new leaf on twitch almost daily, makes slime videos and has an etsy store for people to purchase them, "get a load of that dog!!!!", posts acoustic guitar music covers on youtube
BIRD BIRD BIRD I JUST THOUGHT OF AN AU IDEA ok ok mind reader michael. jeremy is in class one day, thinkin dirty thoughts as per the usual, and he suddenly gets paranoid like we all do when we do that shit and he thinks "if anyone in here is a mind reader, cough if you can hear me." and he. he hears a cough. and jeremy freezes and turns around to face michael mell, this kid he's had a crush on for a while but never talked to, and he thinks "cough if you can hear me," again. (cont)
EDIT: anon is @transtarks!!!! this au baby was created first and foremost in his wonderful brain
oh my GOD!!! wow so im very in love with mind reader!michael. before tackling that hilarious scenario, theres like. so much to explore here
MICHAEL who can READ MINDS. in ur sitch, you imply that he cant talk back into minds, which is just so lonely, i think. he’ll learn pretty early that what he’s got isn’t Normal after many instances of him answering questions that werent asked or him knowing things he shouldnt. his mom needs to sit him down and tell him that they’re a little different. not bad. just different. but that other people dont like this and you have to be quiet about it.
which michael find endlessly unfair. he has to be the quiet one when he has to deal with the constant chatter of minds all around him that never stops? it sucks, but he’s read enough xmen to understand why.
but it is NOISY. his headphones are godsend and music does a lot to help, but those can only go so far in drowning out the noise.
some thoughts are quiet and michael needs to strain to hear the words past the soft murmurs. things like his mom making a grocery list in her head or some kid he passed by on the sidewalk counting red cars as they drove by. mundane things are quiet, but the more emotional they get, the louder they become. happy thoughts are loud thoughts, but so are angry ones and terrified ones.
and it doesnt just equate to sound. to a certain degree, michael can feel thoughts, if they are strong enough. which is pretty much hell on michael’s senses. happy thoughts feel nice, but too much is overwhelming. dont even get him started on negative thoughts. those feel like bile and nails against a chalkboard.
against all odds, michael gets used to it. he finds his own ways to cope with the side effects of being plugged in to everybody else’s mind, but the one thing he couldnt deal with was the loneliness.
constantly, he feels like he’s intruding. while mind reading comes with so many cons, michael sees himself at an unfair advantage concerning everybody else. after all, he knows things about people before they say it. sometimes he knows things about people that they maybe didnt want anybody to know. it’s hard to make friends in that kind of situation.
and it’s really hard not being able to tell anybody at all.
ENTER JEREMY “SEX THOUGHTS IN CLASS” HEERE
oh boy okay so. michael probably knows jeremy. not knows-him-as-a-friend, but he’s heard his mind before. jeremy’s head is…a bit of a mess.
(see, michael has come across a lot of minds in his life. some minds are more organized than others. some are bustling with energy while others a bit more subdued. some are bright and others are so dark michael has to stop himself from crying in public. often, he wonders what his mind looks like, but he cant really trust his mom when she only says nice things because she’s his mom. )
anyway, jeremy’s mind is like being inside a washing machine. things tumbling everywhere. jeremy’s head does not shut up. ever. the kid is always thinking about stuff like “oh, im walking pretty weird, i gotta fix that” or “she’s looking at me. what did i do? is there something on my face? is it my face?” or, and this one pops up a lot it makes michael’s heart hurt, “i wish i wasnt like this”
(so many times, michael almost speaks to jeremy out of nowhere to just. compliment the guy. he’s really not as bad as he thinks himself out to be. jeremy’s head might be self destructing 24/7, but he’s a good person. and he’s cute too WHATEVER. but michael is pretty sure that if he tells jeremy that his hair is nice, jeremy will spiral into paranoia where he’ll think michael is fucking with him. so michael doesnt say anything. he just silently hopes that maybe jeremy gets a day or two where his mind can stop beating himself up over every tiny thing)
michael gets to know jeremy’s anxiety before he gets to know jeremy, and thats mostly because in addition to never shutting up, jeremy’s brain is also very loud. maybe it has something to do with how jeremy is always on edge, but michael doesnt know. what he does know is that jeremy heere, professional anxious teenager, decides to spend this math class just thinking about sex. LOUDLY.
it starts with a stray thought about the porn jeremy watched last night then it spirals into various random fantasies and michael wants to jump out the window. not because any of it is weird!!! but just because this is WAY TOO PERSONAL. michael tries his best to concentrate on parabolas, but jeremy throws up an image of GAHHH!! he tries to concentrate on trisha in the front row who’s got a bad case of song-stuck-in-head, which is the next best thing to real music but then jeremy goddamn heere derails him with LOUD MOANING. (which might??? be his????)
record scratch. jeremy’s head goes eerily quiet. then, very deliberately, he thinks “ if anyone in here is a mind reader, cough if you can hear me.”
it’s RIDICULOUS but it’s also the first time he’s ever been addressed in this way. it’s kind of incredible, and all the “dont tell anybody” momentarily disappears in the face of jeremy “sex thoughts” heere talking to him using his head.
so he coughs. and jeremy turns his head. they make eye contact and michael very deliberately starts coughing.
jeremy’s head is quiet for a tense few seconds
then jeremy thinks, “well fuck”
and thus starts the very awkward beginning of michael and jeremy’s friendship. the possibilities for this are endless but this answer is already too long khfkjdfh
i hate it when people make fun of archaeologists labeling a lot of stuff they cant really identify the purpose of as “used for rituals” like i get that its making it sound like some mystic/religious crap but in anthropological terms rituals are literally just things you do regularly. brushing your teeth is a ritual. celebrating your birthday is a ritual. singing the national anthem before sporting events is a ritual. calling something a “ritual” isnt making any sort of judgement about what it is or the symbolism associated with it.
I was wondering if any [past or present] Jonerys, Pro-Daenerys fans like myself feel this way.....?
Firstly Id say please be nice i just enjoy analyzing the shit out of fandoms I like, (im a history/polysci major ((with an emphasis on Peace Justice and & Conflict Studies)) all i do is analyze and try to be diplomatic lmao) but considering all they petty drama between both ships as well as pro/anti Daenerys stans ON BOTH SIDES I’m going to be “That Person” and at least ask for people to be respectful/civil, I want to hear from everyone and their metas/what they think which is why i tagged like, all the tags, no matter if you love her/the ship or cant stand it, as long as everyone can keep civil
So firstly I’ve loved Dany both books and show from the beginning. She’s gorgeous, wants to be the best person she can be, and her hair/fashion style game is always ON POINT. That being said, somewhere around season 5 i think i’ve found my opinion on her cooling a little bit, ep after ep, till now. Like I still like her bc she was my first character love on the show but I’ve def soured in my opinion on her. Maybe it’s because I love learning about the subject that im more baised (im hoping thats the case) but she just seemed to have no interest in actual governance, just the reputation (esp of being the ‘rebel queen’)/the awe/the power/the thrill of the adoration that went along with it to the point where I feel like though she still wants to be a ‘good queen’ or at least wants to be seen that way, she doesnt want to do much work for the title. Like yeah she freed all the slaves and that was a def progressive and awesome move on her part (major props! slavery is sin and im glad someone recognized that who had the power to do something about it) but she didnt handle that aftermath or ensuing problems well at all nor really mulled heavily on the subject to find the best solution. She just got fustrated with pretty basic/common (albeit complex in themselves) issues of standard governance and kind of went agh! fuck this! (obv not actual quotes but that was the vibe I got). And then ESPECIALLY after season 7 her character has kind of nagged at me in the back of brain which i hate but its inherent like its just a feeling i cant help it?? I just dont know why to be honest that Im feeling so negative towards this character i used to love. The whole ‘ bEnD thE knEe ‘ thing w/ Jon and yet pinning it on Jon’s pride not equally on his and her own was more than a little hypocritical, when hon they can discuss it later like at that point they have two common enemies the WW and Cersei they both want to do away with, and then again with the Bend the Knee or Die bit w/ the Lannister soldiers. In fact the whole sequence before that point felt kind of villinous I dearsay, I mean deliberately burning the harvest that most of westeros needs for the winter or even strategically not willing to try, and well, nOOt intentionally burn the food considering its winter, the harvest is over (so likely not much is gonna grow in the time being) when she has a G I A N T ass army of her own to think of feeding???? Like i get it is war shit happens soldiers die but the F O O D ? Was that an impuslive in the moment mistake or did she just not give a fuck? And back to the aftermath scene/Bend the Knee 2.0, her speech was again quite hypocritical…and burning dickon?????? not willing to keep prisoners???? either bend or die??? I actually am glad she did away with Papa Tarly bc he was an awful human, but dickon????? a young idealistic man about to loose his father??? the heir to a major ally/house???? And honestly that bend or die strategy is soooooo dumb bc now she cant trust any of them like theyre only bending the knee out of self preservation homie, no one wants to die. they bend the knee to survive and now they all of the sudden think youre their queen? Nah fam, prisoners were better, all you got are spies in your camps or people willing to backstab you at the smallest promise of coin. And i dont want that for my girl
IDK the whole “im gonna BREAK THE WHEEL,,,,,,,,yet im stating my claim mainly on my housename (aka the predominant force of said wheel for a literal dynasty) and the fact that i can scare people who otherwise are unconvinced bc lets be real westeros has had a bad run of rulers a lot of which were Targs in the past couple decades, into submission bc ill burn you otherwise???” doesnt sit well with me nor does it feel like the character ive been rooting for the past five-ish seasons. She just doesnt seem to put into effort on understanding Westeros, why things go wrong, being self-critical or sharing the blame,thinking on what a “good” ruler would do…. anyone else feeling this way and if so do you think this is just shitty writing? D&D butchering her character? or a new arc for her? perhaps the way shes always been? She just seems like a tantruming child bratty and entitled idk (a beautiful child but still)
As for jonerys…… im not gonna go into it much but how are other shippers happy????????? I honestly dont understand. I was SO looking forward to this season/this ship. like so much! But it felt so forced? And i know a lot of people claim its cause its rushed but tbh we’ve had a lot of romances in a similar time frame that felt like A C T U A L romances…..even Talisa/Robb who the Northerners will prob compare any of this too were so much better. THIS WAS MY EPIC SHIP DUDE. I feel the dany side of things (took a while but theres def heart eyes) and yet Jon???? He felt hollow. Still does even after sex. Im so disapointed but more than that I cant see the romance or the chemistry. He looks constipated. Hes never smiled like with his teeth around her the way hes done w others he cares deepily about (ygritte, toramund, sansa, even fkin gendry in the first scene they had together). He never reveals anything about himself. And between the “my queen” ep (and remember he was look warm when discussing her to toramund throughout it) and the previous the only thing that changed was that he saw the actual difference dragons made against WW. You could argue she saved them all too but that doesnt make you fall in love w someone out of the blue and also people have saved his ass before and??? Sansa w the vale anyone??? (Not an argument for jonsa js its happened) (though ill admit ive transitioned to loathing jonerys and loving jonsa more as a potential couple in the space of seven eps where if you asked me I wouldve been like PSH u cray. I never thought it would happen in a mill years but D&D ruined my ship and here i am! Shipping aside tho since its best too look at these things as neutral as possible). Anyways the sigh of his after she left and when he pretended to be asleep…. idk. The only scene that felt genuine and where Jon smiled and it didnt look like a full on grimace and they actually kinda joked around was really nice and at the pit at the finale and if they do a LOT more of basic romance stuff like that I could ship it again but. It was followed by boatsex and boy.
I was hoping boatsex might rekindle my like for the two together. I could see the chemistry the passion. I was hoping the passion would overwhelm me and make up for the rest. But instead……like there was no foreplay, it lasted 2 seconds, and it was overplayed by brans voice and a reminder of future conflict or at the very least major angst b/w the two. i didnt see the parallel between regear and lyanna playing alongside their scene as anything romantic or that it should be taken as such. and the look they shared…. I was hoping jon would bring it bc Dany’s look in her eyes is like soooo smitten and adorable and say what you will I still have a space in my heart for her and still dont want her to suffer, but again Jon looks like oh shit/constipated. And not in a good oh shit way either.
There is a bunch more too but Imma stop there bc Im just tired at this point.
So many things were just….off this season. And it cant all be blamed on the “rushed” time frame. I’ve read the undercover lover theory and hon it makes the most sense (not perfect sense but still, more than what we’ve been poorly spoon fed) but im not willing to believe it just yet. Still, maybe D&D are just butchering a lot of things like making the romance believable and stuff for the sake of time that could be true i guess. But they like to go AHA GOT U so
Idk I dont find a lot of meta in the jonerys tag bc honestly (((((i think its bc the tag and ship are more popular and theirs more people both good and bad)))) it doesnt seem like snowballing theories is something all fans take really well in the tag at all. But whatever. I really want to know, is there any meta or theories im missing to either validate the icky feeling Im haveing about D or her “romance” or on the flipside anything that might make me change my mind about it? Theories, meta people!
I just want to reiderate im not trying to hate on anyone or any point of view and I will flag any comment anti one ship or person or another if its plain hateful or rude. I just want to understand it and see what Im missing, esp because of how much I was looking forward to her arc and jonerys’ dynamic and how much the words “falling short” dont seem to cover it. And to see if im not the only one to either have critique on the ship or her character [or even actually change ships]
Also i apologize for how much ive said “IDK” i just….. I DONT KNOW