i cant get you off of my mind

something real quick that i wanted to get off my mind:
a lot of people go between extremes on here of “omg rick loves his family so much hes just grumpy” and “rick is just an abusive nihilist and doesnt care about anything” and dont understand that…. hes both?
if you can read through his (transparent) defensive self sabotaging around his family, its fucking obvious that hes terrified of making any kind of attachment or connection with them, and continues to do awful shit to his family to protect himself. hes a huge dick, sometimes moreso than usual when hes put under any kind of pressure. and sometimes he DOESNT care about anything, because hes crazy depressed - and hes seen and been through such extreme trauma that he doesnt give a shit when something he deems “minor” is happening to someone.
but … he still does care about his family and how they are effected at the end of the day, as much as he tries to remove himself. that doesnt make his self sabotaging lashing out excusable though. it doesnt make what his family goes through excusable. and he knows this.

*plays guitar* GoD i DreAMed there WAs an aNGel *sticks up middle finger* WHO cOULD hEaR mE thROUGh the WAlls *breaks window* as I cRIED out lIkE in lATin tHis is sO not life at AlL *smashes guitar* help me OuT out of this NIGHTmare then I HeArD her SILver CALL *contracts three kinds of deadly diseases* she SAID just gIVE me Time kID i COME to oNe anD aLL *breaks own arm* SHE SAID gIVE me ThaT hANd plEase an ITCH you cANt coNtrOl *chops off my own leg* let me tEacH you hOw to HANDle all the SADness in yOur sOul *gets arrested* yeah w’Ell WoRk that SILvEr MAgic then we’ll AIM it aT the wAlL *burns jailhouse to the ground* she said lOve may mAKe you BLIND kid but I WoULdnT mINd at aLL

Its been a year now since you left and i guess I’m doing fine. I have days where i cant get you off my mind and i check up on you all day, then i have days where you only cross my mind once or twice. There are days where i feel everything and just wish you would come back, then there are days where i feel nothing for you and don’t think about you at all. It sucks cause deep down i know i really just want you to come back, but checking up on you, i know you’re happy alone and i probably don’t even cross your mind anymore. We text here and there but its only because i have stuff to give back to you. But now I have nothing left to give back, and we stopped talking completely .a year now and i still cant forget about you. A year now and you’re still all i think about, all i dream about, it sucks. I wish i can just erase everything, forget all the memories because they make me more sad than happy. I’m slowly forgetting about you, losing feelings, letting go… just a few more months and hopefully ill be ready to let you go and move on..

FP Jones x Reader- Figure it out

Thank you anon for the request! As I stated before everyone in this fic is legal age, and the reader will be older than Jug. I also made it so FP was young when he had Jug, but there was still a large gap.

Anyway I am so so sorry this was late. Aaaaah I hate that this was so late. I hope I wrote it to your standards and you like it ^^ If not please let me know and I will try to fix it. Also thank you so, so much for the well wishes you sweetheart <3 Hope you are doing well anon!

I don’t know yet if I will continue to allow age differences like this in my writing as I wasn’t too keen on writing it. I wasn’t a big fan but I did want to get this one written, as I said I would

Warnings: Age difference, swearing, implied smut

Words: 2160

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Keep reading

you on my mind again

I walked home from work tonight. Thought of you. Every dog was barking, all having a conversation I was not invited to, probably because if I was I would only talk about you, and they’re sick of it.

My sister hates you, and when I say hate I mean she would kill you given the opportunity. She’s not alone you say when I tell you this, and I say it’s the one thing her and I have in common, and you laugh, and I stare. I can’t say what you being happy does to me. I feel the sun within me like I swallowed it, all of me warm.

Lily here’s the thing: we need a better apartment! you call from the shower, which occasionally turns off for no reason and won’t go on again until the toilet is flushed. James, here’s the thing: we need more money! I call back. Being poor is a lot more romantic in the films. In reality it is having an oven that takes thirty minutes to turn off and curling into one another during winter, fingers purple.

I don’t mind being poor with you. And when I say I don’t mind I mean I obviously mind but not as much when you are with me. I don’t mind a lot of things when you are with me: flat tire, missed flight, my mother only speaking to me when my father is asleep.

That time we had no electricity that week because we had to pay our rates. Us, in the dark, holding candles you stole from Remus, playing cards for hours but only Go Fish because it was the only game you knew. After work when you got home at three and we ate crackers and made up episodes of Friends to entertain ourselves. Joey and Chandler run away to Atlantis. Phoebe transforms into an armadillo and desperately tries to gain admission into a zoo. Rachel gets arrested for stalking Queen Elizabeth. Ross dies in a house fire. They all forget to go to his funeral. And us: rolling on the floor, our laughter the only thing.

There are still things I dislike about you. You won’t take buses because you think they’re dirty. When we fight and you laugh at me. Leaving all the kitchen cabinets open so I bump into them. That I tell you about why my father hates me but you won’t tell me why yours does.

(I think it’s because of me. I often forget that you should be a lawyer right now, instead of in an apartment with me and an oven that takes thirty minutes to turn off.)

Often we talk about what our lives will be like later. When we have money. When we have time. You will buy a giant couch so Sirius will stop bitching about how uncomfortable the floor is when he’s over. I want to get a cat and name it ‘milk’ or ‘bumblebee’ or some other ridiculous thing, and when I say this you stare and then kiss me senseless. I cannot believe you love me you say. All my breath deserts me. I cannot believe I wouldn’t.

You work late nights, and I work afternoons, so in the morning we eat cereal out of the box and sit in bed, talking about what kind of dogs we’d be. I’m a beagle. You want to be a German Shepherd but in reality you’re Scottish Terrier because you’re still a bit posh and also wear glasses. Scottish Terriers don’t wear glasses you say. Yes, but they look like they should I respond. You consider this, and then nod. You’re right you agree. I take a handful of cornflakes and am so fucking glad that you’re here.

I use your toothbrush sometimes when its dark and I can’t find mine, and this is something I will never tell you, primarily because you’d freak out about it. Another thing I can never say: you always buy too much popcorn at the movies for two people to eat. I also can’t say the entire reason I still have the purple sneakers from five years ago that no longer fit me is because they were the shoes I was wearing when you told me you first told me you loved me, and I did not look beautiful, so I knew you meant it.

In truth I could spend an infinite amount of hours talking about you, and the things we do when we’re alone

(including but not limited to: playing scrabble, trying to recreate that lift from Dirty Dancing, reading books without saying anything, arguing about how long the commercial is and whether it’s worth switching the channel, you kissing my neck, bumping into one another half asleep in the kitchen, arguing about who’s turn it is to do the dishes, laughing about our neighbours and how loud their sex is, discussing whether our sex is louder than the neighbours, trying to make our sex louder than the neighbours, burning our bills once we’ve paid them, getting drunk off cheap tequila and having a dance off, lying in bed carding my hands through your hair, having a staring contest over lunch, kissing each other on the mouth, kissing each other in other places.)

But I won’t. because other people (and dogs) find it boring when you talk about another person to much. I don’t mind. I have you. They don’t. I can’t imagine how awful that is.

“No Promises” - Charles Xavier x Student Reader Imagine

Hello again, This is one of the Charles x reader requests i received, there will be a part two if this that another non requested as smut so I’ll link this to the top of the smut post when it comes. Hope you enjoy this and as always please leave feedback and more requests in my ask box :)

*Female Student Reader

*1,555 words

*NSFW points, but not much ;)

Originally posted by blueberry-precious


Charles had found you your first year of university, you had been sitting in a corner of you university library when he had waltzed over and taken the seat in front of you. Sitting there, his beautiful blue eyes focused solely on you, with his hands laced gently together in front of him he leaned forward and revealed who he was and why he was there. Less than six months later and you were happily living at the mansion Charles had brought you too. How could you have said no too him after he explained he knew of your ability to teleport and then showed you his, speaking into your mind and then blushing a little when he began to read it and found out you had only heard half of what he had said, the rest being dulled by your detailed study of his face and “gorgeous eyes” as your thoughts had put it. Since then you had made it your mission while you stayed at the school to finish your degree to flirt and fluster the handsome professor at every possible opportunity. You did everything you could think of to entice your tutor to give you some sort of sign he felt the same way you did, and you didn’t keep your feelings to yourself, why would you; he’s a telepath, he could tell what you were thinking anyway. But every time you made an outright advance at him, he would just push you away.

When you first arrived, it was like he took you under his wing, always sitting fairly close to you when helping you study but he soon moved further away when you were sat in his office one day, him explaining the opinion of the author you were studying when you turned to him

           “You’ve got lovely eyes professor” you almost whispered, he was so close. The professor’s cheeks tinted a light pink at your remark and the closeness with which your faces were.

           “Thank you y/n, but that’s not the kind of thing you should say to your teacher.” He had managed to stutter out before looking back down at the paper and moving himself slightly away from you. You didn’t know how to react immediately. After mumbling out a quiet apology you both got back to studying.

Unidentified by you, Charles had loved you from the moment he met you. The first time he had looked through your mind, not only had he saw what you thought of him but he saw who you were, how kind you were to other people and how you seemed to only use your abilities for fun and when your alarm didn’t wake you up in time for your morning lecture. And he had only fallen more in love with you with every passing day you were in each other’s company. But it was wrong, so wrong. He was your professor; he shouldn’t feel this way about you. True you weren’t that much younger than him but still, he was your professor.  And what made it worse was that you seemed to take no notice what so ever of him denying you, in fact you seemed to revel in it, taking every opportunity you had to fluster and embarrass him.

He was teaching a class, you of coarse taking a seat at the front wearing the shortest skirt imaginable, and when he had turned around to address the class again after writing something on the board, you slowly spread your legs apart to reveal your lacy white underwear just to the professor, just for the professor. He choked on his own breath as he caught sight of the small wet patch the had formed in your underwear, just hearing his smooth deep voice talk for the past hour. He covered it up as best he could and carried on with the lecture as you smirked and crossed your legs again still showing enough of your thighs to distract him every now and again. Then there were the times when you would knock on his office door only to teleport into his office and sit on his desk as he reached the door to answer it. Him turning to see you in your cute little outfits perched on his desk smirking at him as you swung your legs from side to side your feet not quite reaching the floor. He would always compose himself and see you out of his office, only to have to loosen his tie and occasionally his trousers when the door was closed.

But after all of these months of constantly teasing Charles and getting nowhere you decided to have some real fun for a change Your best friend, Jean, had mentioned there was a beach party tonight by the lake near the mansion and with not much convincing she persuaded you to go with her and the rest of the gang. So that evening you changed into an alluring deep burgundy two piece that showed off all your best assets, slipped on a pair of denim shorts and a loose top over the top and teleported yourself and everyone else to the lake. Scott and Peter dragged Kurt off immediately to go and get drinks, Jubilee ran off to go and say hello to people, whilst you and Jean set up the towels and Ororo tuned in the radio.

The night went on and Jubilee had introduced you to some of the guys she knew that had invited her, Scott having dragged Jean off somewhere as soon as he had seen the muscled men approach both of you. You dragged both men over to where everyone was dancing and pulled them towards sandwiching yourself between them before dancing with both of them. Hoots and wolf whistles came from everyone as you began dancing the night away with the two guys and the rest of your friends. At the end of the night you said goodbye to everyone and teleported you and the other mutants back to the mansion, where you all snuck back to your respective rooms.

The next morning as you left the library to go to training Charles pulled you aside into his office.

           “Don’t think I don’t know where you all went last night” he steamed, approaching you.

           “Oh really Professor? And what are you going to do about it, we were only having a little fun!” you countered, lowering your voice slightly and stepping closer to him,smirking, challenging his stance. But Charles was having none of it, he seemed genuinely angry.

           “Stop this now Y/N! This is not laughing matter, anything could have happened to you!”

           “To any of us” you interrupted

           “Yes to any of you! But you can’t keep doing this any of this, not just the running about behind my back, the flirting, the touching and your thoughts!!” Charles was practically red in the face now as he paced up and down his office.

           “And what do you want me to do with my thoughts Professor?! I can’t help how I feel about you, not since I first saw you! And you just want me to turn these feelings off, how about you just stop trespassing on my mind!” You screamed back at him, getting angrier yourself by the second as he had the audacity to tell you not to think so loudly. Charles stood there shocked for a moment that you had yelled back.

           “ I can’t, I can’t I’ve tried so hard not to see into your mind. But theres no way to shut it off, you think so loudly and visually about me that I cant ignore it and its wrong” He finished his sentence in almost a whisper, bringing his hands up to his face and wiping them up and down to bring him back to reality.

           “Charles” you got up from the desk and stood in front of him, “You’re the only one who thinks this is wrong, I’m not a child and you’re not an old man, and I love you” you said confidently, looking deep into his eyes in an effort to convince him. Charles couldn’t take it anymore, He loved you just as you loved him, he had the moment he first peered into your mind. It was brilliant, you were brilliant and smart, and funny and he thought you were gorgeous.

           “I love you” Charles whispered, eyes almost watering as he leaned closer to you, foreheads pressed against one another, bringing his hand up to your cheek and pulling you in for the softest kiss you had ever had. You lips moved completely in sync, his hand moving round to the back of your neck to pull you in closer if that was possible, whilst tilting his head slightly, tongue poking out to stroke against your lower lip asking for entrance which you gladly gave. The kiss went on for what seemed like forever, neither of you wanting to break apart for fear of the other regretting it. When you finally did break for air he kept you close and whispered, “I love you, I always have and I always will, but for god’s sake stop teasing me in front of everyone, there is only so much a man can take” he giggled, his arms now wrapped around you.

           “No Promises”

Drarry + Phones:

So I am a total supporter of the HP gang using mobile phones bc Voldemort cant track that etc etc, but then my mind starting heading towards the drarry aspect of this, and to the final battle at Hogwarts. 

-

So Harry rescues Draco from the fire, and he cant say ‘Thank you’ because the words just wont come. Harry shrugs it off, but a little while later he gets a text from an unknown number:

 ‘Thanks Potter.’ 

Harry smiles, because he knows who that’s from; and its something significant really, because if there wasn’t a war on, maybe that could be the start of something. 

-

Harry knows what he has to do. It’s always been the way hasn’t it? Neither can live while the other survives. He stands there, in the blackened dusty corridor, the stench of blood and sweat hanging heavy in the air like a noose. He tightens his grip on his two best friends, and then steps away, heading towards the Forbidden forest.

Ron and Hermione sit there, crying as Harry’s figure moves further away from them. They don’t notice Malfoy there until he is; holding his wand out to them, as if they could take it. Ron rises, his wand sneaking from his pocket. Malfoy stops, begging them to believe he means no harm, and he has tears in his eyes and he’s shaking so bad. His eyes are frantic, and he catches sight of Harry’s tiny body on the end of the grounds. He screams: ‘Fucking Potter!, he’s gone, hasn’t he?’ 

Neither Ron or Hermione answers him, and that’s an answer in itself. He takes off, his heels ache and he wants to collapse but he can not let Potter die. He’s the only hope. Draco runs until he skids to a stop. Potter is no longer alone. He is in a circle of adults, two he recognises, and two that are so famous he doesn’t have to. He doesn’t know how this is possible, but Potter always has a knack for doing the impossible, doesn’t he? The figures fade, and he catches the sound of Potter’s chocked sob. The idiot does know he’s allowed to cry, he is approaching his death. Bloody Potter, always the hero. 

He knows Potter wont change his mind, but there’s something about being the last one to see him alive that makes Draco feel a goodbye is in order. He doesn’t want to infringe on Potter now, he’s spoken to his parents, and they should be his first and last farewell. Instead, he pulls out his phone as Potter squares his shoulders. His fingers skim the keyboard:

I love you

Scared, Potter?

-

Later, when Draco is almost deliriously happy and terrified, his cheeks are stained with tears and his hair is messed up like never before, Harry Potter becomes the boy who lived twice. Draco watches as Potter rolls from Hagrid’s arms. The weight on his heart lessens, and as Potter fights and fights and fights it lessens even more. Draco follows him, until he sees Potter walking back to the courtyard where the final showdown is sure to take place. Voldemort is there, eyes red with fury as Nagini is slayed by Longbottom. Potter pauses, and Draco shivers as his hand slinks into his pockets. He hears a throaty chuckle, and looks up to see Potter gazing at him. Without breaking the stare, Potter types a message; Draco looks down, and almost laughs, but its really more of a sob. 

You wish.

Spirit Companionship FAQ Part 1

So this has been a long time coming. Questions are really in no particular order, but are common questions I get about spirit companionship! I will probably be referring back to this post a lot! Just as a heads up, when I say spirit in this post it is referring to both spirits and entities. I am also splitting this up into two sections because of length.

Please see more of your questions answered on Spirit Companionship FAQ Part 2.

What is spirit companionship?

Spirit companionship, or spirit keeping as it is also known as, is the practice of having spirits around as friends, companions, life partners, guides, teachers, students or whatever reason the spirit has decided to become a companion. But whatever the case is, the spirit has decided to become a companion, willingly. But for us, the humans, it is a way of life, as often these spirits are part of our family forever and require our time and commitment just as any other friend or family member does. You build relationships with them, go through ups and downs, and experience life together. Its a huge commitment. But worth it, as long as you have the time to dedicate to the spirits.

Do all spirits want to be spirit companions?

No. In fact, most spirits want nothing to do with humans, and even if they do want to work with us, its often not on a companionship level.

Is spirit companionship like having a spirit guide?

Being a spirit companion is different than having a spirit guide, but a spirit companion or entity can act as a guide. Sometimes our spirit guides turn into companions, but I have found they tend to stick in the background a little more.

Who can be a spirit companion

Anyone, really. Anyone can be a spirit companion, no matter your race, what religion you identify with, what sex you identify yourself with, or what part of the world you live in. It is not a closed practice.

How do I get a spirit companion?

The easiest, and often safest way to obtain a spirit companion is through a reputable conjurer. They will be able to connect you with a spirit that is an energy match to yourself, as well as one that wants to work with you as well, sharing common interests with you. You can check out my list of conjurer’s here as well as my list of my personally recommended conjurers.

Why do I need to use a conjurer? Why cant I just summon spirits myself?

Unless you have experience working with spirits, I would strongly advise against it. Think of conjurers as a safety net. By the time the spirit arrives to you, they have already gained the trust of the conjurer, and potentially others -depending on who you go through. They have also agreed to a contract in the binding where they agree to certain things (for example to not hurt the companion) with the conjurer, before that conjurer will bind their energy to the object. If you are attempting to do this yourself, you don’t have that, and could potentially summon up something quite dangerous without knowing. If you aren’t familiar with working with spirits, it can be even worse, because you have no way to judge their character and/or what type of spirit they are, and this could lead to you being taken advantage of. Until you have a few years of experience under your belt, I advise against trying to conjure yourself. Even then, keep in mind conjuring is a HUGE responsibility, and can be potentially dangerous.

How do I know its a calling?

Everyone feelings callings differently, but its basically a pull to work with a spirit, and the spirit with you. The important thing to distinguish here is that it is actually a calling. If you cant get that spirit off your mind, or you keep going back to the stop to make sure the spirit is “ok” or still there, or that spirit is waiting for you in the shop, then it is probably a calling. Thats just a few examples. With most conjurers, you can often contact them and have them ask the spirit as well too, to confirm the calling.

What is bonding? Why is it important, and how do I bond with my spirit(s)?

I am actually going to refer to another post on this question because it explains it much better then I can in this short FAQ! Click Here.

How do I greet a companion? Do I need to do a big ritual?

No! Some conjurers will provide a short incantation or way to welcome the spirit into your home, and if the conjurer provides this then you should do it. But if they don’t, you don’t need to do anything crazy except introduce yourself and welcome them into your home and life. Probably show them what they can and cant use, what areas of the house they are welcome in, read them house rules if you have them, and go from there! Do what feels right.


Please see more of your questions answered on Spirit Companionship FAQ Part 2.

Thats it for now! This might be updated with new questions later! And by no means is this the be-all end-all of spirit companionship FAQs. A lot of this is based off my experiences and opinions, as well as other spirit companions and friends. So do your own research, and come to your own conclusions.

More useful posts: [x] [x] [x] [x] [x] [x] [x] [x] [x] [x] [x] [x]

anonymous asked:

Do you think Mafia!Yurio has a kink for wearing lingerie?...Cause I cant unsee it.

CAN I GET AN AMEN???

That boy LOVES wearing pretty little things for Beka behind closed doors. Lots of silk and lace, lounging in his ridiculously oversized bed with a silk kimono and lingerie on. Sending Otabek photos of him in it when he’s bored and Otabek is off talking business with Yakov, just to mess with him. 

Also, you can thank @llyn-on-ice for the hc about Yuri wearing body chains too in the mafia AU because that’s infested my mind lately and must be drawn

i had to clean out the mop bucket and get rid of the mop head because some kid puked in my room and i couldnt keep using the mop head and i come back after cleaning everything up and cleaning my tools and this woman blocks my room so im like “excuse me can i pass you” and she said rudely “uuuuhm i need these three tables cleaned” and looks at me rudely. so i said “well i can get that for you but can i please pass through first” then she rolls her eyes and says “did you even hear a word that i said” keep in mind i cant get to the buss room if shes blocking my way(let alone to the damn table) and i was being as nice as possible then i dropped my sweet voice and said as rude as i could “yes ma'am i heard you. please get my way so I can get the tools that I need to clean off your table” and she gawks at me with her eyes wide open and says “wow you’re being so rude to me”. iconic huh?

Sorry / Jeff Atkins & Zach Dempsey

Originally posted by knightlley

Requests are open.

Requested

Warning: Emotional content

Flashback;

Zach’s POV

She was absolutely breathtaking, I couldn’t help but just stare at her- her eyes were bright and filled with kindness, her lips were slightly parted as she concentrated, her hair fell to the side of her neck and scent smelled heavenly, God, I cant help myself - she is beautiful in many ways that I cannot even express; she was my definition of perfect and no one could tell me otherwise. Each day I spent tutoring her was like a day in heaven, she was my muse and the reason my heart was beating everyday but I watched as she fell for my friend, He is a great guy to be honest and I don’t even blame him for falling for her but I just wished I had the chance to make her mine.

“Zach, is this correct?” she snapped me out of my trance as she held her notebook in front of my face.

“Yes, it is actually” I smiled but it was fake, not fake for her but fake at the meaning of smile.

Watching as her expression switched from confused and concerned to being happy and seeing her smile was my greatest achievement, Her mere presence was enough to kick start my day.

“Baby!” she squeaked and kicked back her chair as she stood up and ran into the arms of another, my heart was crushed but I had to play it cool.

“Hey Jeff” another fake smile spread across my lips.

I couldn’t do anything but I simply woke up from the chair and headed towards the exit before my heart crumbled, this life was not meant for me, this thing called love was oblivious to my existence. I walked over to my locker and pressed my head against it to collect my thoughts and push it aside for a while, taking in a deep breath to control myself from feeling this way and then returning back to reality as I opened up my locker to collect my things and shut it lock, I turned around and saw them once more- Her smile was wide and she held his hand that hung loosely around her shoulders as he pulled her closer and pecked a kiss on the side of her forehead, I watched them as they walked by and my heart literally broke down and I felt the tears form but I never let them slip down.

“You love her don’t you?” I heard an unfamiliar voice from beside me and I turned to see Hannah Baker standing there.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about” I spat

“I know that look more than anyone here, that is the look of love and admiration and it is also the look of secrecy and loneliness” she spoke and each of her word sounded a little too familiar because it was the truth, it was my truth.

“He is a good friend of mine and they make each other happy. Who am I to stand in the way of that?” I sighed and eventually gave in to what she spoke of, I couldn’t hide it anymore and I felt the need to share my loneliness with someone and maybe they might understand.

“Will you go out with me?” I asked

“No Zach, I will not go out with you, just because you cant have the person you want does not mean you can use me to get over her.” her words came out harsh and with the emotions I was harboring, I couldn’t contain myself from feeling absolutely pissed.

“screw you” I walked off in such a hurry after I had punched the locker and probably caused a scene but I wasn’t thinking straight and I regret my words.

In the Present…

Y/N’S POV

My mind has repeatedly gone back to that moment when my whole entire world fell apart, it was around 1AM after I had already headed home from Jessica Davis’ house party, I knew I shouldn’t have left but my parents were strict on curfew, I left Jeff behind and that is my biggest regret.

I can still feel my phone buzzing from under my pillow as I slept, I can still remember waking up and hearing the cracked voice of Clay over the phone as he informed me of the devastating news that Jeff had left us that early morning. I can still feel numbness that shot through me in that split second and then feeling everything crashing down on me all at once. The sound of screams and cries still echo through my rooms and down the hall of the house as I fell to my knees with plenty of tears streaming my down my face- I can still feel the burning of my throat and lungs as I screamed.

For days I couldn’t sleep, I had been brought to the hospital under mental health care because I was consumed to major depression which is the absolute worse- it creeps upon me at night when I least expect it, all those negative thought drown me until 4am when I am able to sleep after crying hours upon hours. I would hyperventilate and rock myself back and forth like a mad person but that’s how I felt, He was the nicest person I had ever had the pleasure of meeting and the world took him from me- he was my person and he deserved better than that. I was on medications and was prescribed to see a counsellor four times a week for Psychotherapy and it actually did help, they weren’t exactly what I imagined but it was aiding my mental health until I seemed normal again and I had a different view of life.

After Jeff’s death I had gotten closer to Zach because I know apart from Clay, he was the next close thing to Jeff and he was having some difficult times to wrap his head around things ever since that night. He was extremely supportive and with the recent passing of another friend- we had each other to be strong with and I cant tell you enough how I appreciated this, it took me about 2 months to seem normal again but with his help it had been such a load off.

“Hey how are you doing?” Zach asked

“I’m doing well enough now, thank you” I smiled

“I know this might seem too soon but I was wondering if you would like to go out sometimes?” he asked but he was too nice to say no to and part of psychotherapy was that I had to accept the past event and let it be the past, I had to move on from what made me suffer and not look back to it.

“yes, I would like that” I felt ready but terrified.

Hi prominent smile caused me to smile as well and I stocked off to first period, I liked to get there before the class even begins but I bumped into a nerve wracking clay Jensen, his scars seemed to be healing but with a lot of time- his breathing was rapid and heavy, he had the look of derange in his eyes and he had bloodshot eyes.

“Are you okay Clay?” I asked concerned

“No, No I’m not- I have been going crazy with all these tapes and wondering when my name will come up” he stated but I had no idea what he was talking about

Furring my eyebrows in confusion I spoke up “What? what tapes?”

“You haven’t heard them yet? your name appeared to be in it but only once, would you want to listen?” he answered

“Of course” I replied concerned but at the same time I didn’t know what to expect and I am not sure of what or how to feel.

You’re going to tell me this one’s no big deal but let me tell you about being lonely. Humans are a social species, We rely on connections to survive Even the most basic social interactions help keep us alive. Statistics prove the subjective feeling of loneliness can increase the likelihood of premature death by 26%.
 If it sounds like I’m quoting from a school textbook I am.
 Too bad nobody bothered to read it.
 And let me tell you
 there’s all kinds of ways to feel lonely

but let me tell you about that one specific lonely eyed boy I am talking about, my friend Kat had told me about me he was so sweet once upon a time, so sweet.

well, Zach Dempsey. Welcome to your tape”

I was so confused of how this was related to me but I kept on listening in hopes to gain more content

“See Zach, you didn’t take rejection all that well now did you? I saw how nice you were to me but I didn’t want to be your rebound after you couldn’t get the girl you wanted and Y/N if you’re listening to this tape then here you are, sorry Zach but she has to find out the truth eventually and here it is- my truth; See Y/N, Zach had always had a crush on you but he never said so to spare his friends feeling and I know you are probably wondering how this is relevant to my death which is what I will explain.

It was once specific afternoon after Zach had tutored you, I saw how he looked at you during your sessions and after you were done- I noticed how he admired you from the hallways but always had to turn away whenever Jeff said hello to him.

See, I confronted Zach on having a crush on you and he admitted to it but then had this wild thought that he should ask me out because he was lonely and I rejected him- he had negative comments to say and his anger couldn’t be controlled and I already had so much going on in my life that his negative words was another sign that lead me to doing what I did, it was because of you that he had his outburst but don’t get me wrong, you are not on this tape for me- you should know the truth just like everyone should, you were genuinely nice to me  and your kindness helped me live for another day but sadly I couldn’t stay anymore but thank you and I am sorry.

As for you Zach, I needed you to be true and you failed me and now we will see how things turn out for you, well others will see”

The tape ended and I was in tears at this point, clay watched my features change and now I understood how he felt and what he had been going through while listening to this heartbreaking message from Hannah.

I had so many mixed emotions but I know that I couldn’t go out with Zach anymore, I feel like I don’t even know him at this point.

I spotted him with his clique as they spoke and laughed with whatever joke one of them made.

“Hey Y/N!” he smiled but then it dropped as soon as he noticed my tears

“I am not going out with you” I spat and earned some ‘ooh’ noises from his so called friends.

He pulled me aside and away from everyone “Why?” he asked shooting me a saddened expression, Hannah was right, he had loneliness hidden behind his eyes.

“I heard your tape and I cant believe all of this happened, I didn’t even know and Jeff was your close friend! Hannah tried to help you and you brought her closer to her death!” I cried and he tried to get me to lower my voice but no one had paid any attention to us.

“Please don’t do this, I didn’t mean to do anything to her but I saw you with jeff that day and something inside of me snapped, I regret the words that left my mouth but I cant change anything” his voice cracked “The only person who would know how to help me right now is Jeff and he isn’t even here anymore, everything in my life always turns to fucking shit and I end up lonely all the time, I am never fucking loved and you cant make me feel any worse then I’m already feeling right now. I’m fucking sorry” he broke down and I felt remorse course throughout my entire body and chills running up and down my spine. I had no idea he felt this strongly about everything.

“I’m sorry you have to go through this right now and I understand what it’s like to lose Jeff, he was my boyfriend and he left me and that night I regret going home and leaving him there but everything happened- I know he is in a good place but I still know he deserved so much better, but Hannah was only trying to help you and she needed helping of her own and she tried to reach out to you because you connected on feeling lonely and she hoped you would at least try to help her back- I think the only way to make up to her about this is to tell the truth and come clean before you suffer further from any of this.” I tried to calm him down

“You’re right and I need to tell the truth about this because it is eating me up alive, I owe this to her and we all received an interrogation slip to talk about her and it was picked at random, I am nervous about it but I know now what to do- thank you” he positively responded and it made me smile.

“I will meet you up tonight for that date and help you prep for your interrogation that’s coming up soon” I smiled back as I engulfed him in a hug, he wasn’t a bad guy to be honest, he just didn’t know how to respond to someone reaching out to him but I’m glad I could have a positive impact and change on him.

Jaemin Soulmate AU

Soulmate AU where words appear on your wrist that tell you what your soulmate is feeling

  • this one is for my precious boy jaemin :’)
  • i love this bean so much its unreal
  • so lets start for my precious bean
  • the words on your wrist were usually happy ones
  • words like excitement or joy
  • and it made you feel good knowing your soulmate was out there living life and having fun
  • but lately, the words had changed
  • lonely
  • depressed
  • scared
  • and it made you worried
  • what had happened in these past few weeks that suddenly changed your usual upbeat soulmate to this unhappy character?
  • your childhood friend jeno tried to get your mind off of your soulmate by hanging out with you
  • but even he had his duties as an idol
  • “y/n i have a comeback coming up so i wont be able to hang out with you as much”
  • “ahh thats ok ill be fine on my own”
  • “no i dont think you will be so thats why im going to introduce you to my friend jaemin. he cant be in the comeback because of some health problems so you guys can keep each other company”
  • “pff ok fine but im only doing this to make another friend not because im lonely”
  • “whatever you say hotshot”
  • so jeno introduces you to jaemin and he looks like a genuinely happy boy
  • and you two really have a good time together
  • so while jeno was promoting you guys hung out everyday
  • “jaemin, have you found your soulmate yet?”
  • “i actually havent but i worry about them sometimes”
  • “why is that?”
  • “well before i was benched for this comeback, i was happy and excited to be an idol and my soulmate was happy too. but now, i feel like my emotions are clouding theirs. i mean with my emotions on their wrist, im not surprised theyre worried and upset”
  • his voice was full of emotion and he was finally showing his true feelings
  • he was more than just this happy go lucky kid
  • you pull him into a hug and give the only thing you could offer, comfort
  • “jaemin, im sure youre going to be fine and im sure your soulmate can deal with it. things might not be great now but i can guarantee everything will get better. Ill be here with you the whole way too”
  • and in that moment the words on your wrist changed for the first time in a while
  • hopeful and in love

(oh man, talk about eleventh hour)

Ok, Happy B-day @trashasaurusrex! I read your post: https://trashasaurusrex.tumblr.com/post/160122450972/i-love-this-image-sooo-much-i-cant-get-over-it

And this is what came out… Keep in mind that a lot of reference material and judicious use of my new tracing pad went into this. Also you said that you like “Can’t keep my eyes off you” so I added some effective lyrics.

Please be kind, this is my first attempt at Tumblr art. *hides in shame at the bad shading…*

anonymous asked:

How about 12“I can’t stop thinking about you.” with Kirishima? Love your blog, senpai!💓

Senpai gets noticed… ♥(ˆ⌣ˆԅ)


Kirishima Eijiro

Kirishima had called you out of the blue to ask you some dumb, random questions. Now, hours later, you laid tossing and turning on your bed in your room talking to that very same man. Still talking about nothing. When the line went silent for a coupe seconds you asked the question that had been on your mind from the beginning.

“So, why did you really call?” Taking on a more sarcastic tone you added, “You didn’t actually want know my opinion on if penguins had legs or not, did you?”

“Hey! I mean, haven’t you ever wondered?”

“Never!” you chuckled.

“Well I guess its…” He paused and then said, “I cant stop thinking about you.”

He was smiling. You could hear it in his voice. “What are you saying, you dork? You don’t need to say embarrassing things like that anymore! We’re already dating!”

“So? Its true. No matter what, I just cant get you off my mind.” Just then, you heard a groan in the background followed by Bakugou’s rough voice barking at him to ‘shut the hell up with all that mushy talk!’

“I cant believe you’re saying these things in from of Bakugou!” you gasp. “You’re shameless, Eijiro!”

anonymous asked:

I bet the next time the pack wants to play life stiles hold Derek's hand tight and announces that derek is on his team and there's argument that you cant have teams while playing Life because that's silly and Derek quietly says he'll just sit this one out and "it's alright Stiles, really" and it is okay he doesnt need to play so he sits and watches and laughs with the pack and it's much better this way he thinks watching them play instead (pt 1)

And then Stiles’ car rolls up on the board and he gets to get married and so Stiles picks out a little blue character and put him in the car next to his little blue character and he smiles and the pack teases him and asks him who the unlucky man is that he’s marrying and Stiles’ smile turns a little shy “I already said Derek was my partner” and he shrugs it off and Derek cant help but blush and duck his head with a precious smile (pt 2)

And of course Stiles goes on to get all the best things in the game and he gets to the babies part on the board and he turns to Derek “we have a baby Derek! What do you think? Pink or Blue? Which gender norm are we gonna go with?” And Derek being the sweet boy he is mumbles out he always wanted a little girl but he wouldn’t mind a boy either especially with Stiles and basically the rest of the game is sickeningly sweet and them making heart eyes at each other (pt 3 aka the end)

This is wonderful! 

Originally posted by thebloodofanevilangel

(in response to X)

Victoria: Nathan you’re so distant lately, you know you can talk to me right?
Nathan: I’m fine, will you get off my dick, shit.
Nathan: …
Nathan: Fuck you know what I don’t need this. I don’t need you to interrogate me I just came here to chill. I thought you would understand. 
Victoria: I’m trying to..