i cant even tell you what this is

anonymous asked:

i cant tell if im trans? like some days i feel 100% im a boy and I'm ready to go on T and then some days im like "this feels like a phase and I should let it pass so im a normal adult" im just worried I'll like start T and end up being cis and be stuck with a deep voice and facial hair which isn't the end of the world but would probably make me dysphoric as a cis person (is that even a thing???) idk what to do

You may decide to take some steps in medical transitioning and later on decide that gender identity/expression isn’t for you. That can happen. Gender is not set in stone- many of us know this going through this first process. If you have to go through the process to (maybe semi?) detransition later on, don’t feel ashamed. What you feel/want now doesn’t determine what you’ll feel and want forever. 

If you feel like you need to wait, go ahead! Look up natural transition techniques maybe to ease yourself into a slow transition that doesn’t have to be T or surgeries yet. 

*henry

when i was like 14, i once wore contact lenses instead of glasses to school bc i had just learned how to put them on and i wanted to show them to my friends right, and this one guy goes and tells me “i thought girls were supposed to become beautiful when they stopped wearing glasses. something obviously went wrong with you” and that was??? so incredibly rude i wanted to cry but i just stood there not knowing what to say bc i honestly thought we were friends

but the girl sitting in front of him (who was also his crush, mind u) hears him and turns around with the most disgusted expression on her face, and calls him out on it like “omg i cant believe you said that have you even seen yourself in a mirror you have no right to tell her shit” and then she turns to me and says “dont listen to him, you look gorgeous with or without glasses” and she probably already forgot about that but i always remember it whenever i feel self-conscious about myself

so the moral of the story is: if u see someone being a jerk to someone else, dont laugh along and call them out on it. stick together and bring all the fuckboys down

I just want to say something because even though i personally haven’t seen it on my dash, I’ve seen post that mention that some people agree with Sonja? Or hate Even?? And that just makes no sense to me so, have this story. 

I don’t have any sort of mental illness but I grew up around someone who does. My aunt. She has schizophrenia. 

Growing up I saw her have a couple of episodes. I heard my mom discuss her medications, her behavior, her doctors appointments. Running off to take care of her during the episodes I didn’t witness. Felt and witnessed the anxiety and fear for my aunts safety and well being. Through all this the one thing I never grew up with? The idea that she was wrong. That she was bad. That she was “crazy”. I never really saw her differently from any other member of my extend family. 

 Her kids though, they had a problem. 

You see, my aunt’s ex husband was not a good guy. He treated her disorder as something to blame on her. As if she somehow brought it on herself. My cousins grew up with the same mentality. There is a lot of other stuff here but I won’t talk about that. The story i want to talk about is this one.

A couple of years after her divorce my aunt met someone. My cousins weren’t thrilled about this. They accused him of taking advantage of my aunt. Then after 2 years of dating and one big episode, my cousins decided to commit her. My aunts boyfriend was having none of that. He fought for her. And he won.  

I remember my mother asking him if he was sure, if he wanted to take on the responsibility of taking care of her. Do you know what he said? He said she’s always been his responsibility because he loves her. 

They’ve been together nearly 20 years. My aunt hasn’t stopped having episodes. She hasn’t stopped taking medication. It’s been ups and downs. But I never ONCE doubted his love for her. HE NEVER ONCE DOUBTED HER LOVE FOR HIM. They have and continue to live a full happy life together.

Having a mental illness does NOT invalidate someones personhood. It does NOT invalidate their emotions. It does NOT invalidate their trauma. It absolutely does NOT make them unlovable or incapable of love. 

In conclusion: Even deserves everything good and pure in the world and Sonja needs to grow up and get that Even doesn’t need a babysitter, he needs a partner. And she clearly isn’t it. 

Flashback to Episode 2 and 3

Yuuri: What?! ME? EROS? I can’t do anything like that! I’m not even remotely close to being erotic!!

Viktor: *remembers dancing intimately with Yuuri; Yuuri stripping down to his underwear, necktie and socks and pole-danced with Chris like a goddamn pro and Yuuri fucking dry-humping him as he asks him to be his coach*

Viktor:

Viktor: Are you fucking serious?

ON/OFF - a yamatsukki fanmix
((art by me))

01. IDFC - Blackbear “Cause I have hella feelings for you, I act like I don’t fucking care,”
02. Daddy issues - The Neighbourhood  / “You ask me what I’m thinking about I’ll tell you that I’m thinking about”
03. Butterfly culture - Benjamin Francis Leftwich / “You put out to put up, Even while your widening smile”
04. Watch me Rise - MIkky Ekko /“I’m still standin’, I’m still climbin' Even when the best are fallin’, the best are fallin'” 
05. Shine - Years & Years  / “Don’t leave me behind; can you see me? I’m shining” 
06. I Cant love you - Adore Delano / ”A shooting star, lighting up the darkness” …“ I love the way you touch my lips You live to kiss The freckles on my shoulder So I can pull you closer, yeah”
07. I needed you - Blackbear“You know this was never really about us And everything was always ‘bout you” 
08. The way it was - The Killers / “If I go on With you by my side Can it beThe way it was When we met” 

—-
ON/OFF relationship: They may wish to keep an ongoing formal relationship, but have difficulty doing so because of continuous conflicts between themselves. 

the mars signs, basically
  • mars in aries: "u know what. FUCk everything. why doesnt life just give me what i want!!! life is so SLOW and BORING and i want ADVENTURE why can't things just HAPPEN MY WAY for ONCE!!!" *someone tells them to chill* "who tf are you??? are you trying to fight me????? ok i dare you FIGHT ME"
  • mars in taurus: *bad stuff happens* "lol im fine" *more bad stuff happens* "@ life are u trying to provoke me...try harder it aint working" *the worst thing that could possibly happen happens* "OK THATS IT IM AT MY LIMIT. THAT WAS NOT NECESSARY. IM SO MAD RIGHT NOW I CANT EVEN THINK WTF WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN TO ME. anyways im actually totally chill haha let me just suppress my feelings it'll be ok :)"
  • mars in gemini: "oh, i see! you think i'm wrong. i'm truly sorry to hear that some pitiful creatures like you find my beautiful mind so complex that you can't comprehend anything i'm saying. i'm sure that, for SOME people, it is indeed a bit too complex hahah lmao (:"
  • mars in cancer: "fine, whatever. u may have said something rude but it's ok im just gonna ignore that" *later* "that fUkcin bitch...i'll show them later, trust me. i'll just wait for the right moment and destroy them when they least expect it"
  • mars in leo: "??? did u just insult me or one of my interests ??? lmao first of all, HOW DARE YOU. second of all, YOU ARE WRONG. i am so beautiful and awesome and such a great friend and THIS is how u repay me??? i'm worth so much more than this. you are disgraceful. i am disgusted"
  • mars in virgo: "i hate everything. NOTHING is going right and i am FALLING APART. honestly i don't even remember the last time something good happened in this world. why are people always annoying me? why is school always annoying me??? why is LIFE always annoying me????? can everyone just STOP"
  • mars in libra: *someone points out that they need to get their life together* "bitch...what? i'm fine...what are you talking about.....my life is 100% under control!!!" *procrastinates everything* "wtf why do i have so much work??? i am dying under all the pressure i hate everything NOTHING IS UNDER CONTROL"
  • mars in scorpio: *on the outside* "okay you know what fuck you im so over this it's over" *on the inside* "i know all ur weaknesses, honey...and trust me, you will regret it. you think i'm over this but i'm definitely not lmao watch ur back"
  • mars in sagittarius: "wtf bitch i hate u, what do you think of yourself??? how dare u disagree with me and say rude stuff to me ugh don't talk to me ever again" *after like 8 minutes max* "omfg the other day i was listening to the duck song and i was thinking about how much you'd like it i mean i bet you've already heard it but it's absolutely hilarious u should watch the video it went viral on youtube hahaha" *someone asks if they've gotten over their anger* "what anger? ...oh thAT. lmao whatever who cares about that, have you heard the duck song?"
  • mars in capricorn: "yeah i'm pretty fucking upset right now, things definitely did not go the way i expected them to. anyways that's just life. i'm over it. i'm just gonna...try and distract myself.....and pretend nothing happened...because that'll help me stop thinking about my shitty life...probably"
  • mars in aquarius: *on the outside* "i guess ur right. maybe what ur saying is the right thing to do :) :) :)" *on the inside* "...excuse me hoe.....ur wrong, i'm right. u can't tell me what to do. i'm well-aware of what i'm doing, if u think i'm gonna listen to anything u tell me to do ur 100% wrong bye"
  • mars in pisces: *accidentally offends someone, someone asks why they're mad* "honestly i'm not totally sure why i'm mad. i didn't even know i was mad until you pointed it out. i mean there are the usual reasons for being mad...people are horrible, life just generally sucks. so yeah im probably just generally mad lmao no worries"


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ahaha wait, what the heck…? how does UNDYNE know anything about all that…?

i think alphys more than anyone would be very understanding of when someone makes a mistake or keeps a secret. but just what kind of mistakes were happening when they were all underground…?

this is another page that was originally 2 pages of 3 and 4 panels respectively, then combined into 1. so it’s technically like getting two pages! i guess. sorry if it’s one-page updates for awhile. it’s a busy time of year!

Keep reading

i love how lydia said “I’m not leaving you!!!” like she didn’t care about herself, about what could happen to her if she stayed. no, she cared more about STILES and what would happen to him. she was so worried about him and she put HIS wellbeing above all else, even herself. and he was JUST as worried about her, telling her to get away from him bc knew what could happen if she stayed, bc he cares more about her than he does about himself, bc he LOVES HER. they both love each other so much and i have so many feelings about it omg 

10

Dans gonna have to buy phil one of those backpack stuffed animals with a leash on it for american tatinof, he cant even keep track of him on the damn tube

I found a screenshot of a tweet that made me laugh that I took a while ago but now im realizing its fake, credit to @fakephan_tweets (on twitter i’m assuming) for a brilliant idea that has probably actually happened irl lets be honest


***Bonus points: reblog with what dan based story you think phil was telling that poor random old lady***


EDIT: Credit to the brilliant and lovely @destihelp on Instagram!!! go check her out!!! 

1. Do you not think about the way things use to be?

2. we use to be so close.. how can you not think of me anymore?

3. did anything you say ever even mean anything?

4. Its not fair, its just not fair. All I can ever do is think of you and I can’t stop, I don’t know how to keep going when all I can think about is how you don’t love me anymore.

5. you use to text me I love you in all caps lock, and now you cant even pick up the phone. How the fuck  does that happen?

6. I think of you, and you think of her. How is that fair? I deserve better, and you deserve better. Isn’t it funny how we both can’t see it?

7. People keep talking about you and asking me about you, I don’t know what to say when they asked me what happened

8. I mean what happened? please tell me, I’m still trying to understand

9. All I can say is, I thought we had something that wasn’t there…

10. I thought you loved me back, but you really didnt..

11. look, I just want things to be like they were, I know its been months but if you loved me once cant you love me again? I don’t even give a damn if its pretend, I just need to feel something again. I just need to see your name pop up in my phone again. I need to hear your voice. I just fucking want you to care about me again.

12. why did you ever stop? I feel like I cant breathe all the time.

13. Where did it all go wrong?

14. please just pick up the phone, I just want to hear your voice.

15. I just miss you so much, it hurts so bad.

16. Its been months, why do I still feel the same way I did when you left?

17. I just want to stop hurting. I hate seeing you, I hate not being with you. I hate not even being your friend.

18. I wish I can tell you how I really feel.

19. I never told you how I really felt, we fell apart before I could and now its too late, maybe if you knew you would of stayed?

20. then again, I don’t think anything would of made you stay.

21. for what its worth, I am truly, completely, in love with you. and I don’t know how to get out.

—  21 texts I didn’t send 

Cisco’s strength is so underrated. He just found out one of his closest friends, someone he sees as family, is responsible for his brother’s death and his reaction is so strong and so Cisco. He let’s himself show emotion over it. He cries. He even allows himself to rage a bit, pushing Barry, telling him a simple sorry cant fix this mistake. He admits he doesn’t really know what to feel over something so complicated and painful. Then he pushes through all that to focus on saving his best friend. He prioritizes his love for the family he still has and tries to help Caitlin. I love and admire and am so proud of Cisco Ramon.

tbh at this point I dont even care what nt I upset bc im not a Good Survivor like I used to be so fucking ashamed of things that I literally cant even control but im taking it all back. dont fuckin touch me without my permission. get the fuck out of my face if you make rape jokes. if you stay friends with my abuser despite what they did to me then we are fuckin done. dont even fuckin dare to tell me to forgive the ones who have hurt me. I dont have to sacrifice my mental health for your fuckin comfort.

'here's your gift'

OK I CANT HAVE BEEN THE ONLY ONE THAT HAD A FUCKING STROKE WHEN I GOT THIS NOTIF FROM TWITTER

like ‘here’s your gift’ BITCH I DID NOT EXPECT PINOF BLOOPERS (even though I still fucking cried thank you very much) DO YOU FUCKING KNOW WHAT I EXPECTED CAUSE I FUCKING THINK YOU DO

MY DEADASS THOUGHT DAN AND PHIL WERE COMING OUT FOR CHRISTMAS AND LET ME TELL YOU IT WOULD HAVE BEEN A GLORIOUS DAY

oh my god my hands are shakign rn 

so work was bad yesterday and this happened and i just had to tell u guys somewhere im sorry im scremaing???

yesterday i watched three men die because one man sneezed in a room full of blood and shit and light.

no. it gets worse.

today 3 more go in and theyre holding these like super cheap mops, like this place cant afford anything better. it just made me fucking depressed like i don’t even get union pay and u make me use these mops??? like what????

. Yesterda, I watched a man I admired just like shot. because he left some chick a flower. like im literally screaming rn how can you do that?? all it was was like?? a flower and u shoot him?? im??

 Today, she doesn’t remember, and three halls down I can hear her screaming. (Im literally screaming rn))

and then the day before that i watched a group of soldiers like… they have to like shoot their own coworkers because of zombies and i was like wtf how is this real??? bjut its real i watched it if you dont believe me!1!!

. Today, we test another sample, this time on children. im criyng

so then like another day last week, as if this isnt’ bad enough,, I watched five men and women gunned down in an abandoned factory no one cares about. (I know no one cars about it b/c i was there okay,,, i saw,,)

 Today, it happens again and again. Every eleven seconds. Forever. ((9(can u imagine???))0

and like to top this all off it just keeps piling up., I watched a man sit comfortably in a nice armchair, sipping scotch and laughing as he ordered a woman to simply stop breathing and then today he gets the day off of work detail for good behavior like what?? is wrong with this place???. I watched hundreds of ppl in orange jumpsuits herded like animals into empty rooms that filled with gas and firebut then the next day hundreds more are told they have a chance for a lighter sentence, and a chance to serve their country (lmfao rite) like what?? does that add up??? no it does not .

so then like all this got to me in my mind and i was like okay this needs to stop. theres no way im the only one that sees like how fucked up all this is?? so i told my coworker, i took them to the side in the break room and i whispered in their ear and i was like look, yesterday i watched the world nearly die in a thousand thousand terrible ways. sometimes we would have had the time 2 scream. ive gotten used to it okay?? today u and i are alive to write about it.

and like they woldn’t listen to me they were like fuck u ur not the ethics committee i dont care. so i blocked them . ,

but here’s the thing like????? you want happy endings???? fuck you honestly???? they dont happen here like. You’re alive to read it. isnt that good enough. god help us all honestly 

so then heres the thing, this morning in the break room i was like, i told that to my coworkers to try to get them to see my side and they all listened and i was like holy shit im a martyr. so then i said really loud i was like “secure. contain. protect” and they all like nodded b/c they agreed and i felt better u know??? like im glad i could move these ppl. then the whole break room clapped

  • me: *finds leather jacket*
  • me: *puts it on and climbs onto kitchen table*
  • me: I AM A GREASER! I AM A JD AND A HOOD! I BLACKEN THE NAME OF OUR FAIR CITY, I BEAT UP PEOPLE, I ROB GAS STATIONS, I AM A MENACE TO SOCIETY, AND MAN DO I HAVE FUN!
  • mom: you cant even tell the cashier at mcdonald's what you want wtf makes you think your a gre-
  • me: O' VICTIM OF ENVIRONMENT, UNDERPRIVILEGED, ROTTEN NO COUNT HOOD! JUVENILE DELINQUENT YOU'RE NO GOOD!
  • mom: what the hell have i raised
reblog this and write ‘don’t repost’ in your language to help artists

i was thinking for pixiv artists etc, artists could put a page full of text saying ‘don’t repost’ in different languages as the second pages of a log after the cover. because there are so many reposters who tell me ‘oh, i just got it off of the tag’ and don’t acknowledge any of the rules or what the artist says on their profile. some even suddenly don’t understand english after you comment that it’s your art, and some of them genuinely don’t speak it at all, which makes it hard to communicate. if it’s in the log, they can’t say that, more so if it’s in their language.

my point is, i’m planning to make a page full of all these different languages for artists everywhere to use freely, but i need people to help me out by adding this phrase in their respective language, like so:

english- do not repost my work on other websites

urdu- میرا کام اور جگه پرنہیں ڈالنا

i fucking love them together

kageyama: has the emotional depth of a teaspoon, cant tell a person from a lamppost, angst who, cant take a hint if the hint poked him in the eye, what is even a complicated feeling

oikawa: h ello drama how have you been, sky-high EQ, Stay Ambivalent™, people-pleaser to the max, tsundere to end all tsundere