i cant even enjoy the moments

bts as parents

•probably has a little boy and girl
•the one that always! picks! up! their! kids! from! school!
•loves packing their lunches bc he loves helping out his s/o! he also loves cooking but we all know that
•"do well in school today! please don’t fail!“
•tries to be encouraging but its very kinda embarrassing
•like at soccer games or really any sporting event this man is yELLING YOUR CHILDRENS NAMES OUT
•he’s also the type of parent to always wanna tuck their kids in bed even when they’re grown
•overall wonderful parent 10/10 v loving

Keep reading

i have so many emotions about autistic!kara danvers

im trying not to be a self hating aspie so heres some headcanons bc i love kara

  • assuming kryptonians not needing to eat on earth is also canon in supergirl, this would entail that kara doesn’t even have to eat. but she loves to eat and i feel like its bc it calms her down. both flavours but also the literal act of physically eating. bc with her senses constantly heightened, everything tastes so much.

  • karas super senses and her sensory overloads. every noise is so loud. everything is so much. smells are so strong. i imagine her having led-lined hearing protectors that she uses sometimes bc her glasses don’t fully cancel out everything.

  • how she cant tell that it might be inappropriate to ask something at a certain moment. if she wants something she wants something Now. even if her boss looks like hes about to have a mental breakdown.  

  • kara’s odd word choices. i know it’s supposed to be because she’s an alien and she’s awkward, but honestly it’s so relatable? like, when she says ‘golly’ or just. rambles a lot. hashtag same ?

  • she seems rly tactile. i imagine kara really enjoys hugs and cuddles with pretty much anyone she likes, but she gets really frustrated bc
    ‘when is it acceptable???? when can i lay my head in someones lap without it being weird???can i just lie down in lena luthors lap right now? can i even hug her??? whats the protocol for these situations helpppp’

  • her determination to be a hero. she’ll literally be potentially stuck on a slave trading planet forever, she has no powers and no backup, and theyre about to be sold as slaves. but still, she tells everyone they’re gonna be fine. not just to keep them hoping, but because They Gotta. theres no other outcome in her mind, she Will Succeed Because That’s Her Purpose. she’s so fucking stubborn. bless her soul.

  • thats also why she’s so stuck on mon-el being a hero. because???
    she has powers and uses them to help people, ergo mon-el also has to do that. it legit doesn’t make sense to her that he wouldn’t feel a need to justify his surviving by constantly helping others. 

  • kara’s reaction to the guardian. the guardian is not something she’s planned and so it effs her up. it doesnt Fit into the plan she has in hear head for how everything is. she wants mon-el to be a hero but guardian? nooooo she didnt ask him to be there so it messes with her routine. (this ones a big stretch tbh but humor me ok.)

  • tbh.. when ur autistic u might just as well be an alien bc either thats how people treat you, or that’s how you feel. or both.

  • also!! kara using actual lumps of solid metal as thinking putty

anonymous asked:

hi!! sorry it wouldnt let me send more asks haha. i'll tell you the rest of what happened, but i gotta be upfront and say that i cant provide you with real "PROOF" of what happened bc i'm really, really not comfortable with sharing the pic of us since the pic+the story 10000% outs me (even if it's just on the internet. i have irl friends here.) so enjoy the story, but i totally get if you don't publish it because there's not solid proof (not that it's insider-y or really has any info to it lmao)

so i spot them (not like it was difficult ha) and i was like holy shit my time has come. im finally getting my louis+starbucks moment in the sun. so after about 30 seconds of ??????? i bucked up and went over and i was like mega shy because IT’S SO AWKWARD APPROACHING A CELEB I HAD NO IDEA. like i mean i kinda assumed it would be, but i’ve literally never done it before so i had no idea just how bad it would be……. 

 4. but anyways i did the whole “omg louis, i love you, i love the band, kjdhfjsdh” thing and he was very sweet and had this big old grin on his face and was acting kind of silly idk how to explain it but he was just being very jokey i guess. and then idk what powers from above gave me the clarity of mind to do this, but right when it probably should’ve been time for me to just ask for a pic and walk away, i went for it. i feel like everyone always has their “one thing” 

 5. they wanna say to one of the guys and ever since mitam i have always, always, always said that if i ever met any of them i would say something about end of the day. so basically i just started rambling and i was more or less just like, “i just wanted to say thank you for end of the day. i dont know if you know this and i dont know what your intentions were with the song or whatever, but just thank you 

 6. because there’s a very large group of us that have kind of taken it to be a song about girls that love girls and it just really means a lot since it’s such a fun, positive song. so thank you.” and it obviously came out 98539485793485 times more awkward and jumbled than that but whatever. and he wasn’t like, “omg!!! you got it!! that’s what it’s about!!!” or anything at all like that, but he just got like…very?? soft and sweet. 

 he stopped grinning like he had been during our entire exchange. like that big cheesy fan grin he always does idk?? and instead he just had this very soft and sweet smile and he GAVE ME THE SOFTEST HUG IN THE ENTIRE WOLRD!!!! HE HUGGED ME!!!! HE INITIATED THE HUGGGGGG!!! and it was just a very soft hug im sorry iknow ive used that word like eighty times but it’s true!!!! and during the hug i kinda turned back into fan girl mush and i was like “thank you thank you thank youuuuu” 

and then he was like, “thank you, love,” and then oli took a pic of us haha. and after this two minute encounter i literally only have one thing to say: idk shit about larry or babygate or any of that bullshit. all i know is that louis tomlinson was incredibly sweet and kind and he is not the attention seeking asshole that people on my dash have been slowly making him out to be.

so yeah basically he was just sweet and kind. i really, really don’t want to be connected with this story (i got burned a while back by someone accidentally outing me on tumblr and it made for an awkward convo with the girl i kinda like…) but yes!!! it just is what it is :) i totally get it if you dont wanna publish, but it’s cool if you do. (and this is me praying to god im not in any pap pics. but oh well.) 


Oh. My. God.  I know I’m going to have to call this a rumor, but this is the best story!!!  I hope it’s true. It sounds true and it sounds exactly like I would think something like this would happen :)

Thank you so much for sharing. Thank you!!  

It's All My Fault / Archie Andrews

My first one, little nervous but my god someone better wish me some god damn luck on this. I love Archie so much (KJ Apa a.k.a Daddy) so enjoy this one! SEND IN REQUEST OTHERWISE YOU CANT GET MORE ARCHIE!


“He did what!?” Archie exclaimed at me. Well, not exactly at me, but I was the only person who was in front of him at the present moment, so he just took his anger out on me.

“Archie, I know it sounds bad but it’s really no big deal to get angry about…”

“No big deal?“ He cut me off, "He hit on you! How can you even defend him? He’s supposed to be my friend!”

“I’m not defending him, Archie.” I said, trying to keep calm for the sake of this argument. Well, more so loud conversation. ‘I just don’t want an argument to happen.”

Archie grabbed my phone out of my hands, wanting to see the messages for himself.

He reacted as if he was mad, but I knew, under all of the anger, he was hurt as hell. Archie’s face turned pale, reading through the messages.

He bit his trembling lip, licking them afterwards. His eyes were sad, but on the outside, he was livid.

“Arch…” I said, reaching out to grab his hand. I only got to touch it shortly, before Archie pulled it back, making me jump.

“I’m going to fucking kill him!” Archie exclaimed, storming out of the vacant classroom. In a panic, I followed him out the door and down the hallway.

“Archie, don’t!” I exclaimed desperately at him, but he didn’t even take any notice.

He was furious and honestly, there was rage in his eyes. Archie was heading right towards Reggie in the hallways, starring him down. If eyes could kill, Reggie would be a dead man, twice.

I half ran behind him, trying to keep up with his fasts pace, but I was failing miserably. Archie’s muscles were tense, pressing his fists together from the anger boiling around his veins.

I should never have told him; I should have just moved on. At the time, I honestly thought that the right thing was to tell Archie. When your friend hits on your girlfriend, he should know, right?

But with Archie marching towards Reggie, looking ready to fight him and all, I wasn’t so sure. I didn’t want to cause any drama, I was just trying to be honest with Archie, not keeping an secrets between us.

“Please Archie, stop!” I exclaimed, begging him, but nothing could help this now. Archie made it up to Reggie and pushed his shoulder harshly.

“What the hell is wrong with you?!” Archie spat in his face.

I had never seen him with so much rage and I felt terrified thinking about, how this was all because of me.

“Archie, what the-“ Reggie tried speaking, but Archie pushed him once again.

“You do not ask my girlfriend for nudes, you get that?!” Archie said, starring Reggie down, shoving him again.

Archie roughly pushed Reggie up against the wall, pressing him into it. He was fighting his anger, using it instead of showing the hurt.

Reggie’s smile quickly disappeared from his lips, as his face turned pale rather quickly.

“Archie man, I didn’t-“

“I saw the fucking messages, dude!” Archie yelled at him, not able to control any of his emotions.

“Archie, I’m sorry-“

“Shut up, Reggie! You don’t fucking flirt with my girlfriend! Got it!?” He screamed at his pale face.

All Reggie could really do was nod. He couldn’t even fucking explain himself. I watched as Archie fighting his craving to slog Reggie in the face. I rushed up to him, taking his shaking hands in mine, squeezing them.

“Archie, please…” I tried calming him.

At first, he kept looking at Reggie, which just continued making him furious. I grabbed his burning cheek, forcing him to turn his head and look at me.

“Please Archie, don’t do it. He’s not even worth it.” I said, watching Archie’s reaction carefully. He took a couple of deep breaths while looking at my upset features, licking his lips.

“He hit on you.”

“I know.” I whispered back. I rubbed his cheek with my thumb, hoping it would calm him down.

I didn’t have any words to say. Reggie did hit on me, he got really creepy in fact and made me feel uncomfortable. Asking me for nudes and pressing me to send sexy photos… Maybe that’s the reason why I told Archie, because it actually made me feel anxious.

Archie turned towards Reggie again, I couldn’t really tell if he was going to hit him or not. I was certain that Archie hadn’t made up his mind yet himself.

Archie smashed his fist into the locker, only inches away from Reggie’s face. It made Reggie widen his eyes, holding his breath. Archie shook his head lightly, before pointing his finger at Reggie, grabbing his shirt by the collar.

“Just stay the hell away from her, you got it?” He warned him.

“Yes.” Reggie rasped, shaking all over his body.

Archie started walking away and I tried following him, but I could barely keep up with him still being angry.

“Archie, please! Not so fast,” I begged, but he just kept walking. Maybe this was my fault? I kept thinking, I should have kept my mouth shut. “Archie, please, stop!” I begged again, but my voice cracked over at the end.

This sort of sickening pain shot through my entire body, watching Archie being upset like this, thinking it was my fault.

Suddenly, the tears started running down my burning cheeks. I wasn’t even sure why, but they kept coming anyways. Archie gazed back at me and all the anger washed off his face immediately. Archie rushed back to me with a concerned look on his face.

“Hey love, what’s going on?” He worried.

Archie grabbed my hands, giving them a squeeze. He surely felt how they were shaking and how I had absolutely no control over it.

“Baby, what’s going on?” He begged me again, wiping tears away from my cheeks. I could barely breathe properly, let alone get any words out of my mouth.

“I just - this is my fault, I can’t -” I stuttered, but I never managed to actually get a sentence out.

My eyes were darting around the now empty hallway and I was really struggling with my breath. I knew exactly what was happening. This was the feeling I knew all too well.

“Hey, hey darling. This isn’t your fault, you didn’t do anything wrong.” Archie assured me desperately, but I could barely hear his words.

Why did I always ruin things? Why was it always my fault?

My breathing became so strained, it actually felt like my lungs collapsed and no air could get inside. It felt like I was suffocating slowly.

I pulled my hands back from Archie’s, putting them on my hurting chest. My heart was pounding against my chest and I was worried it might pop out at one point. I backed away from him, trying to keep myself together.

“Baby, look at me. What is happening?” Archie said, letting his eyes fall on me.

He stroked my hair, not looking away. His eyes had this worried glance to them and he barely breathed.

“Archie…I’m having panic attack.” I struggled to even get the words out.

“Fuck,” Archie breathed, terrified at my words. “Okay, baby. Breathe,” Archie tried calming me. I couldn’t focus on him, though. I bit my lip, feeling foggy and dizzy.

“Hey, look at me, okay? Focus your eyes on me,” Archie whispered lovingly at me. With his hand on my cheek, he forced me to look at him. I met his warm eyes, which calmed me down a tiny bit. Archie kept my gaze on him, quickly, licking his lips. “Okay, just focus on me. Just me,” He said, I nodded at his words. “Good, now take a deep breath for me, can you do that? Like this, come on,” Archie spoke.

He took a deep breath and I followed his lead, he put his free hand on my stomach, showing me how much air I need to take in. “And out,” He exhaled again, so did I.

“Good baby, that’s really good. Try it again,” He whispered to me. I took another deep breath, exhaling out like Archie did.

“You’re doing so good,” He said, wiping away tears from my face. He grabbed my shaking hands, while I continued to focus on my breathing. He held them tight, so they weren’t shaking as much as before.

“Let’s sit down for a moment, okay?”

“Yeah.” I whispered back at him. Archie didn’t let go of my hands, as he sat down on the floor. He told me to rest my back against the wall and continue to breathe like he’d shown me. He stroked my hair, caressing my arms while planting little kisses on my knuckles.

“You’re doing good, baby.” He calmed once again.

Archie had only been around during one of these attacks once before, so I was rather surprised with how he handled it all.

“Close your eyes for a bit, love,” He said, letting his fingers run through my hair.

I did as he told me and I felt myself slowly regain control over my own body again.

“Better?” Archie asked, obviously still worried.

“Yeah,” I breathed out. I opened my eyes, looking embarrassed at him. I hated this.

“What trigged this?” He asked, making me bite my lip.

“I… I just hate causing this drama, it wasn’t my intention-“

“Hey, you didn’t do anything wrong, baby. Not anything at all. You were right to tell me, Reggie freaked you out.” Archie said, stroking my arms gently. I lowered my head, biting my lip.

“It was my fault,”

“No, it wasn’t. It was Reggie’s. You know what he’s like… always making up drama, causing issues between relationships, just you’re average idiot.” Archie said, trying to make me laugh a little. And sure, a light laugh escaped my lips. “I’m your boyfriend and you were right to tell me what was going on. I’m glad you told me and I’m glad I can trust you. I don’t want anyone talking to you like that, ever.” Archie said, starring down at me, guilt in his eyes. “I didn’t mean to make you feel like this…” He muttered, sadly.

“No, Arch. It was Reggie triggering it. No way in any shape or form is this your fault.”

“It’s always Reggie, apparently.” Archie hissed. He leaned in and planted a kiss on my plump lips. “Are you okay?” He was worried, the crease in his forehead making his scar stand out proved that. I let my fingertip run over his lips, stroking them gently.

“I’m much better, thanks to you. How did you know, how to act and what do?” I asked him, curiously. Archie’s eyes darted around as he shrugged shyly.

“I just… that one time after the bar incident, where you had one?” He said, I nodded.

“I hated seeing you like that and I just… I wanted to be prepared and stuff, if it ever happened again. So I did some research on panic attacks,” Archie shrugged, scratching the back of his neck. I couldn’t help but smile at him.

“You did that for me?” I asked, feeling the warm and tickly feeling rushing over. Archie bit his lips, rubbing his hands nervously.

“I just wanted to be able to help. I hate that this happens to you and I didn’t want you to go through it alone. It was the least I could do.”

“Baby, you have no idea how much that means to me,” I told him, sending him a smile. Archie leaned over and closed the gap between my lips. “Thank you,” I whispered in between the kisses on Archie’s lips.

There was no one, who’d ever taken the time, to figure out what this meant before. Everyone always just thought, I was doing it for attention or something, but Archie actually read about what anxiety and panic attacks were, and he did that just for me.

“I just want to be there for you,” He whispered back.

“I love you.”

“And I love you.” Archie said, kissing me again. Archie found my hands, interlacing our fingers.

“I’m sorry I reacted so tense, I was just upset that he’d do that to you,”

“I get it, Arch. I would have been upset too.” I whispered to him. Archie kissed me once again and I felt my body tickle.

This time, the reason my heart was pounding, was because of Archie, but I didn’t mind that sort of pounding.

I loved that my heart beated only for him.


23/06/2017 - 🌹 Prom 🌹

Keep reading

Ken Penders and how his misinformed view of how monarchies work ruined not only what could have been a good au story but also Sonally

*profanity warning*

Now, just to preface as you may have gathered from my current icon and some of my art, I primarily ship Sonamy, however that does not mean that I hate Sally or Sonally, as a matter of fact I really like Sally as a character, she subverts some of the typical princess tropes (which I’ll get to later) and her relationship with Sonic, especially in SatAm is really fun to watch, they bounce off of each other so well. 

Keep reading

Nakta as boyfriend

- having a 6 ft tall boyfriend makes ppl think that he’s super intimidating but don’t get fooled cause he’s actually soft on the inside!!!
- like he sleeps with his animal pillows called doldol and palbari
- and even though u actually dont understand how a giant like him needs stuffed animal companions when he sleeps, u actually think it’s super cute!!!
- but when you sleep with him, he will gladly shove aside doldol and palbari bc he says “i like hugging you more” <33333
- when people asks you what’s your boyfriend’s name and you tell them nakta and they go ?????? cause how can you have a camel as a boyfriend???
- and u go, “no no, his name is yooncheol, but his nickname is nakta cause he looks like one”
- and they get more confused cause YOUR BOYFRIEND??? looks like a camel????
- and yes he looks like a camel but he’s the most handsome camel you’ve ever seen!!!
- and since he’s a camel, you like ‘riding’ him agdgajdhjaid ok im sorry
- nothing cheers you up more than his camel impersonations!!!
- and since he’s basically a living giant, it’s actually very convenient!! like riding trains, when u can’t reach the bar handle, he will be the one to hold it and ask u to just grab on his arm <3
- or like grabbing stuffs from high places like the kitchen cupboard or like when u need to change the lightbulb in your bathroom!!!
- Nakta is also a producer and he goes by the name “Kinda” and you’re super proud of his works and downloads them and always listen to his music whenever you miss him!!
- and sometimes he has gigs and shows and you make sure that you attend every single one of them and you even make a mini banner for him that says “i <3 kinda” and when he sees it from the stage, his face would light up :) :)
- he loves frogs so much and although you think that frogs were disgusting at first, you learned to love them bc Nakta told you a lot of stuffs abt them and abt how they are actually harmless creatures who does a lot of good things for the environment~
- because he is hella tall, he uses it to his advantage EVERY FREAKIN TIME
- he likes teasing you and getting ur stuffs and raising it above his head and even if u try to tiptoe or jump you cant even touch it bc??? Duh giant!!
- or like when u want to kiss him but he’s being an ass and wants to make ur life harder so he will tiptoe and you cant reach his lips bc again, G I A N T
- and you like wearing his shirts bc its basically a dress for u when you wear it
- although frogs are his favorites, he loves all animals so expect zoo dates!!!
- and you would buy matching animal hats and take pictures with them and even try feeding the birds or giraffes
- and at the end of the day he would thank you for spending the day w/ him bc he knows that you’re not much of an animal lover
- but you’re like “no, no, i enjoyed a lot today!!!!”
- and it’s true!! Every moment you’ve spent with him are happy ones and you’re actually thankful bc Nakta made you realize that the things you used to dislike were not so bad afterall~
- Nakta tends to worry a lot and overthink and sometimes he’s not confident w/ himself and it breaks ur heart whenever he feels that way bc he’s actually a talented and amazing person!!!
- so you always tell him how much you love his voice and how a lot of people actually enjoy his music and he’s just really glad that he has you by his side
- he’s also shy/not really a bold person in bed or whenever you’re making out and he always worries that he might be hurting u or that you’re feeling uncomfortable in some way so you need to reassure him that everything is fine!! <3
- Nakta also tends to over work like he literally spends the whole day in his studio 24/7 and sometimes he forgets to eat so you drop by from time to time with some food just to make sure he’s still alive and eating LOL
- and he’d be like “just 5 more minutes jagi, i’m just gonna save this file-”
- and he will sigh and just give up bc even though he’s waaaay taller than you, u can actually do crazy stuffs when ur mad
- deep inside he’s really touched that you go all the way to his studio to make sure he is eating right and tbh you’re the only reason he still goes home to the dorm to sleep and not just doze off on his computer table
- he knows you are always worried about his health so he does his best to eat on time and he even sends you a picture of his meal as a proof
- and you’d be like go take a selca with your jajangmyeon with a fork on your hair so i know you’re really eating at this hour
- and then he thinks it’s funny and stupid at the same time but he does it anyway
- and when he sends you the proof photo you’d be like “HMMMM IM NOT SURE U MIGHT HAVE TAKEN THAT PHOTO WEEKS AGO”
- anyways, you love shin yoonchul so much bc he’s really patient and he’s the only one who can actually handle your craziness :) :) :)
- and he might not show it at all times but he really loves you and he can’t imagine living in a world without you

anonymous asked:

I liked his character, but I don't see why hes practically the poster child of the fandom? Especially when half the fandom don't even like him for his canon character, but instead because hes a pretty face the fandom can shove their own traits onto. Heck, I didn't even put him in my top 3 favourites upon first watching it. As for that ship, I WOULD have shipped it if the anti's didn't decide to be little shits about other pairings. Plus, I kinda was weak She1th the moment I saw the two, oops.

LMAO I FEEL i like la//nce’s canon character! he’s funny and i honestly can’t wait to see him grow but the fandom really pushed it to the limit where i cant enjoy him anymore……also, when i watched vol//tron for the first time i knew sh//eith was gonna be my main–i used to ship kl@nce but stuff happened so…..

The Adventure Zone: Tried to make a character, who is emotionally and socially insecure, tries to push away people that he think could replace him, has been through hell and back, has had direct conversations with a literal being of darkness, yet still always manages to appreciate the joyful moments around him, into a black character

anonymous asked:

do you have any advice on how to not get angry when playing league? i constantly get angry and upset whenever i do anything wrong or do poorly, to the extent where like a sixteenth of my room has duct tape on the walls bc i get so angry i end up punching holes in my walls. i love this game but i hate that i keep getting so angry at it. i understand its a game, i understand that its stupid to get angry at it, but i cant help it and after i calm down i always feel so ashamed of myself 1/2

You need to take a break from league. It’s painful to say but it’s very unhealthy for you at the moment and I think that distance will help to clear your mind

Try out heroes of the storm, I know it’s like the weird twice removed cousin of league but it’s actually been. Pretty fun? Even my friend who’s crazy into league has started enjoying the game a lot, blizzard’s captured an almost Nintendo feel of ‘this may be a bit casual but there is an simple heart warming genuineness to it’ like they really did just focus on making a fun well balanced game

Since it’s a new game and however the games go won’t matter, try and find a way to laugh at whatever comes your way, it’s very silly in comparison and who knows? After some time away from league you might come back with a whole new perspective

officialember  asked:

Hey this is tmi but I've been on the toilet pooping my guts out for 2 hours in severe pain and I'm this 👌🏻 close 2 Eating illegal weeds to get the pain 2 stop tell me more about the pros n cons about Can I Bus

alright my fellow sufferers its time to Learning About The Weed with ur fav stoner goate

below the cut are my personal pros and cons and other advice and important information for beginners! warning, it’s pretty long, but i wanted to try my best to be as educational as possible. let me know if theres anything i should add or change!

Keep reading


The worst about my personal anxiety is I can never fully enjoy the moment that I’m in because I’m constantly getting so anxious about things that will happen in the future. I am constantly worrying, planning, and thinking about what I have to do later that day, night, week, month, even year. I never am fully engaged in a moment, which I hate. There are few times in my life where I was fully engaged and those, well those are my favorite moments.

A night to remember [Fic]

Pairing: Alucard/Lana

Alucard always enjoyed walks in the night. However, after being captured his walks were made minimal and for good reason. Even now, he didn’t have any time for them. However, there was that rare moment and usually he wanted to be alone. Tonight was different as he walked with his Baobhan Sith; a lovely brunette, short and ever so beautiful! He couldn’t keep his red eyes of off her!

Lana Selkirk cast a side glare to her master.

“Whit is eet ye big oaf?”


“Whit ‘bout meh?”

Alucard just smiled.


“Lana, really. We’re finally outside and you want to pick a fight?”

The tall vampire snickered and cleared his throat at hearing her huff. The raven haired vampire grabbed the brunette’s arm and spun her around.

“Did I ever propose to you?”

“… Alucard…”

“I’ll take that as a ‘no’. So, will you marry me?”

“Dinnae tease me like this!”

“I’m not teasing!”

Alucard let Lana go and got down on one knee, hat and shades discarded on the ground as he reached into his jacket inner pocket and pulled out a small black box, opening it to reveal a golden ruby ring; the rock alone would make any woman stare and gape.

“Lana Selkirk, marry me. Be my Countess… my Queen! My angel of the night! These eyes are yours and yours alone. I require no one else. I want you! By my side, forever.”


my medication has made me way more stable tbh but i still actively have to try and talk myself through not having a fucking episode over the littlest things like not receiving a text message from someone i care about. like i have to sit there and rationalize everything and remind myself that they have a life, they are a busy person, they are not obligated to text me the moment they wake up. its really difficult and when i boil it down to shit like that it sounds sooooo dumb but i know its just fucked up anxiety and mental health problems that make me like this and the fact that i can manage to try and enjoy my day even with these anxious thoughts is really telling and i really feel like im making progress

i cant wait to go back to school like i really think i have the focus and drive to do it now. looking back to when i dropped out i was in such a haze, i cried on the bus on the way to school and i would skip class to sit in the library or the park and just do nothing. it was so fucked up. and now im excited to be in classrooms and devote my time to studies and do what i wanna do, its exciting!!! 

tldr; my meds right now really fucking work and im so grateful like holy shit im so glad i saw a doctor and got diagnosed properly and got proper medication like it totally fucking changed my life 

I can’t even celebrate the fact that there’s going to be Joshaya next week because they cut the Rucas hug, Like how am I supposed to enjoy my adorable babies when my other babies got their FIRST, COMPLETELY ALONE MOMENT, THAT INCLUDED A HUG AND LUCAS MAKING THE BEARY THE BEAR BEAR NOISE CUT!!!!!! I’M BEYOND PISSED OFF….I’M WHATEVER THE NEXT ONE IS!!!!!  

Tips for when you're struggling

I think at this point in my life I can safely say that I’ve been trough my fair share of tough stuff, and I think I’ve gained a bit of knowledge on how to deal with hurtful situations when they happen. These may not work for everyone, but I’ve found they do for me.

  1. Take time to be be alone, but don’t isolate yourself: When you go through something tragic or heart breaking, it is important to take some time eventually to evaluate yourself and make sure you’re okay with who you are, but do not mistake this as a time to push people away. Which brings me to the next point.
  2. Your loved ones want to support you, let them: I know how hard it can be to ask for or accept help when you need it, but the compassion and comfort that people who care about you have to offer can be a huge boost along the way to healing. If someone breaks your heart and your friend brings you ice cream, don’t tell them they shouldn’t have, just thank them and enjoy it. These people love you and want to help you, so let them.
  3. If you don’t know how to help yourself, work on that: It is very easy to leave something such as a relationship and think that you aren’t whole without that person. I can assure you that this is not the case. You need to come to understand your own worth as an individual. Having a summer where I felt alone did a lot of good by showing me that I can work to help make myself okay. You may not always be able to do that, sometimes your head can easily get in the way (especially when mental illness is a factor). Just learn that you don’t need another person to always make you feel better. The day you realize you have the power to do that for yourself if you ever need to is a beautiful day.So even though you should embraced your loved ones, make sure to always know you can survive alone sometimes. 
  4. Give yourself a break: It’s so easy to blame ourselves for terrible things that happen to us or even for mistakes we’ve made. Even if you did do something wrong, you need to accept it and then move forward. Lingering on guilt does not help you make things better. If you feel really terrible about something, use this experience to better yourself, but don’t abuse yourself. It won’t help you or anyone. You’ve suffered enough, don’t continue to beat on yourself. Be kind to yourself.
  5. Take time to relax sometimes: Some days you will need time to sit, watch netflix, eat snacks, and that is all. When you’re suffering sometimes you really do need a bit of time just to shut down for a while and let yourself breathe. Don’t do this constantly, because you don’t want to fall into a slump, but allow yourself a lazy day among the chaos. You deserve it.
  6. Keep yourself busy: Although you will need that occasional day off for sure, do not let yourself slip into a state of no activity. This is so important because this can worsen feelings of depression. Get up, shower, brush your teeth, get dressed, go for a walk, a run, go out, paint a picture, do something. Anything but lying in bed or sleeping all day. This will help keep you from feeling useless and being productive often makes people feel much more positive. Also getting up and moving gives you energy! So, as I said before, take time to relax, but make sure you don’t fall into a state of lethargy. Even when you suffer life keeps going, and you can too. I promise.
  7. Have some tea: Okay, so maybe this won’t benefit everyone, but herbal teas have a ridiculous amount of benefits and I find it very relaxing. Nothing helps me calm down and enjoy a moment more than a cup of tea when I get home. Things with chamomile and lavender tend to be relaxing, green tea tends to be energizing, and if you cant sleep? You can even get sleepy tea which works wonders. Tea is magical, embrace it.
  8. Don’t repress your emotions: I did this a lot in my past, and it did so much more damage than originally had been done. Sometimes you’re in the middle of an essay and everything crashed down and it’s okay to say ‘hold on, give me 10 minutes and then I’ll deal with this’, but it’s not good to say 'Yeah these emotions hurt and I don’t want to deal with them’ so you stash them under the rug and pretend they don’t exist. They do, and burying them will completely exhaust you. Cry when you need to, scream when you need to, feel things in full as they come. It will save you so much in the long run, so please please do not ignore your feelings when they happen.
  9. Realize that this will not last forever: This is very essential. Sometimes when we’re caught up in being depressed (again, ESPECIALLY if you suffer from a mental illness, which you should always seek help with for your own sake) where we feel as though things will never get better. I swear to you they will. The night is always darkest before the dawn. That dawn will always come. I can’t promise you when, or in what way, but it will. I promise you a day will come where you wake up and it will not hurt to breathe. This. is. not. forever. For now you cope, you breathe, and you work towards that day because it will come to you. It always will.
  10. We don’t suffer for nothing: I think this is the single most significant thing I have ever learned from my life. It’s so easy to ask 'why me? Why did this happen? There’s no reason for this.’ I’m not going to sit here and tell you oh everything happens for a reason, because that’s entirely up to your perspective. However, these painful situations that we go are things we need to own, and use. That may sound strange, but allow yourself to gain wisdom through your suffering. This is life experience that will allow you to grow as a person and be better. Take your pain and suffering and use it. You really will be stronger for it. It took a lot of time and hurt for me to learn any of the things on this list but had those things not happened, I would not know any of this. So please always remember that you don’t need to suffer in vain, you can use it for youself. You have the power to make something of it.
OTRA Detroit

So I literally never write concert reports just because they’re time consuming and I’m lazy..but Detroit was an experience I want to remember every single detail of. Sorry this is disgustingly long.

I managed to score seats in Section D Row 2. I’ve had good seats before like in catwalk sections in rows 19 and 10 about 6/7 seats away from the catwalk…but I have NEVER experienced anything like this. It was completely overwhelming to be right in front of them and it mostly feels like a dream. Shyla and I were already on the verge of passing out just from seeing how close we were to the stage…but when they came out, we LOST IT.

Keep reading

I wanna talk about this scene.

First let me just say that this shouldn’t be another reason to be mad at Ford, because he doesn’t realize he’s doing this (yet) but this still should be pointed out.

Ford told Stan that at the end of the Summer, the Mystery Shack is done. This is bad enough for Stan, seeing as the Shack is the first and only successful money maker of his life. But I think we’re forgetting someone who this will also effect.


The Mystery Shack is, and has been, Soos’s life for at least a decade. It seems to currently be the only source of income for Soos and his grandma. So what’s he gonna do when Ford forces the Shack to be closed? Will he and his grandma be homeless like Stan will probably be?

And also, how and when is Stan gonna tell Soos?
If he tells Soos next time he sees him, Soos is gonna get really upset and emotional, and he’d likely tell the kids, and that’s just gonna create family drama for the Pines family because Dipper and Mabel aren’t going to be really happy with their Grunkle Ford if they know he’s gonna kick out their Grunkle Stan. And they would try to find some way to stop him from doing it (I’m pretty sure neither of the Grunkles are gonna tell the kids about this because they don’t want them to interfere).
However, if Stan tells Soos at the end of the Summer, right before or as the the Shack gets closed, Soos will still be upset of course, but that really isn’t fair to Soos because he could have spent his last few weeks there getting closure and enjoying his last moments.
And I came up with this awefull scenario: What if Stan fired Soos to encourage him to get a new job before the Shack is closed? Like Stan’s way of trying to ease Soos away from the Shack to make it easier for the man-child to have it taken away from him.

Basicaly Ford is about to tear Soos’s world apart and he doesn’t even realize it.