i cant deal with you guys

About mutsuki’s gender: psychological analysis.

I’m reading a lot about this topic since a couple of mounths, so I want to try to explain my theory about it (even if english, is not my first language and this kind of things are really specific, so please forgive my mistakes).

First of all, I’m pretty sure that Tooru has a terrible mental illness call  Dissociative identity disorder or  multiple personality disorder (MPD). What is this? Long story short, there are at  least two distinct and relatively enduring identities or dissociated personality states, inside the same person. The number of identities varies widely, but in my opinion  inside Tooru we have only two different ones:  Female Tooru and Male Tooru, that alternate their existence inside him/her. We have a strong personality (Fem) and a submissive (Male) one.

A DID symptoms is, for example,  the presence of two or more distinct personality states match with  the inability to recall personal information (expecially by the submissive personality, who is totaly cut off his own mind), beyond what is expected through normal forgetfulness. This could explain why he doesnt remember when she killed his all family or when he killed all during the academy period. This  particular for of lack of memory is  call dissociative amnesia.

These states alternately show in a person’s behavior are  draw it VERY WELL by Ishida, in my opinion. Think when she approchs herself to Aura in order to obtain his help. Or when she approchs  Kaneki in chapter 122. Otherwise, in the firsts chapters, the way he walk and be in touch with the rest of the team. He was goffy, shy, more masculine than the lasts chapters where her moving changes. (In particular in THAT scene with fake Haise. That was a seductress woman)
(Damn it’s really hard to explain with all those he/she in contrast. Sorry.)

People diagnosed with DID often report that they have experienced severe physical and sexual abuse, especially during early to mid-childhood, and as we know, she/he was abuse and rape by his father till the day she ripped him in pieces. And then she forgot the fact. As well as she/he forgot about killing all those cats during the academy.
It’s really sad as a mental desorder, because starts as an escape from a cruel reality.
In this new arc, Female Tooru win over Male Tooru. The causes are many: she felt alone, adbandoned by the only one man that she ever love or at least that shows a gentle behavior. Haise’s really love him, in a familiar way maybe not  a romantic one (even if I’m pretty sure that this poor soul will never have a real romantic sentiment for noboby in the future).  She changes a lot of team after QS, so she has a lack of stabily, that in QS before the Rose Case was the first family he ever had. Torso probably has raped her again, throw this poor baby into the nightmare again.

And she just can’t stand on it anymore, even if she hate to be a woman. She hate to be weak again and she really want to be a man and have Haise’s love bacause she never fell this way with anyone before.

For what concerns Urie,  I think that he is an hetero guy who has a big crush on Mutsuki from the moment he realise that he is a woman. I can’t blame Kuki neither, is brain elaborate that information because of his infatuation. He always try to save Mutsuki, he his really  attached to this companion, no matter if is a she or a he. 
Whatever, that is really sad because Mutsuki will never be what he need..

In the end, the result for me is that if you call Tooru a girl is not a big deal. Because in this moment, she probably is back to that part of life, the darkest one, when she was a woman. A really lonely little girl who deserves better. I cant blame this child, who only need help.

My point is that she doesnt feel like a guy in her BODY, but is a MENTAL state. She want to change her past, not what she is. I refer to her more than a fluid than a trans. BUT OBVIOUSLY IT’S JUST MY OPINION! I dont want to change your mind or make you understand that this is how things really goes. It’s just an intuition.

I feel so bad for her. Or for him that maybe will be never come back, like the best part of Tooru, the one he built himself was too weak for this world.  

The only thing I hope is to see HIM happy again, as he was in the past.

So, this is my analysis. Feel free to tell me what do you think about!
And sorry for all the mistakes I probably made, its like four and half in the morning but I really want to give my contribution ti this discussion! So please be nice and I’ll responde to all your observations!

youtube

i could watch this an infinite number of times

2

Last Night

Someway after an AMAZING concert you and your friend ended up on Machine Gun Kelly’s bus after the show.

Your friend had been hitting it off with Slim, she was the type of girl that did stuff like this every other weekend. Hook ups and A list parties, she was a damn model/video girl.

You and her had been friends for a while and she always invited you to these parties, but you usually declined. But when she said she had MGK VIP tickets you couldn’t say no.

You had been on the bus for a while just kinda there and taking it like the wallflower you were, blending into the surrounding environment.

‘Yo, you want a drink?’ you look up at Dub who was offering you a bottle of Ciroc.

‘Oh um thanks, but I-’

‘Will be taking that whole bottle.’ your friend interrupted getting up from Slim’s lap, she took the bottle and gave it to you.

‘Come on, it’s Friday, we are literally in the presence of party heroes. Pull that stick from your ass, put it back in tomorrow.’ she smiled.

You thought it over, it had been a while since you really let go.

‘Fuck it.’ you said as you threw the bottle back and started to down the whole bottle.

‘Oh shit, she is letting it loose!’ someone cheered.

You nodded as you continued.

‘CHUG CHUG CHUG! YEEEAAAHH!!’ the whole bus screamed as you finished the bottle.

‘WHOOOOO!’ you shouted as you stood up.

‘And here comes the beast.’ your friend smiled.

‘Damn right.’ you said as you pulled her into a deep and rough kiss, it lasted for a minute or so before you pulled away.

‘I needed that drink.’ you sighed.

‘Hell yeah you did.’ Kells said.

You look over and see him, you had been shyly looking at him minutes ago, but now you had liquid courage in your veins. Now you can really party with the guy of your wet dreams.

‘You have no clue, it’s hotter than the sun’d vagina in here and I’ve been in this shirt for half an hour. All these damn models in here, fuck that, deal with my normal people body.’ you said as you remove your shirt.

You looked down at yourself and giggled.

‘Why am I so lame when I’m sober? I put a on bra!’ you laughed.

Everyone was laughing and having a great time watching you ramble and flail drunkenly.

‘W-Why in the- what the hell are we doing in this bus? You cant do shit in here.’ you said as you headed to the door.

‘Where are you going?’ Kells asked.

‘Outsside to do outside stuff like…flips. oohh hopscotch lets all go hopscotch!’ you said excitedly as you pulled your friend along.

Right Now

Your head was pounding and you were sore as fuck from the neck down. You were in some random hotel room in bed, guess your friend dropped you here to sleep off the liquor.

‘What the hell did I do last night?’ you groaned as you pulled the covers over your head.

‘What didn’t you do last night?’ a deep voice said from behind you, followed by a arm being draped over your waist.

That sobered you up real quick.

You turned and what you saw nearly gave you a heart attack.

‘Kells?’ you gasped.

‘Mmmhmm.’ he hums as he pulled you closer.

‘U-um did we um…you know?’ you blushed.

‘We did, a few times.’

You looked anywhere but at him, your eyes landed on some handcuffs on the headboard.

‘Did you handcuff me?’ you asked.

‘You cuffed me.’ he said as he sat up a little and looked you, he lifted his hand and showed you the marks the cuff left.

‘Oh God.’ you groaned as you flopped back down, holding the covers close to cover you bare chest.

‘Leave it to me to have wild sex with a star and be too drunk to remember it.’

‘Well, I don’t need to be back to the bus for another hour, how about we try it again and I make sure you don’t forget.’ he said as he climbed on top of you.

Vent

The stuff going on with Bart whatshisname and Harley from epic meal time in regards to ARMY and BTS is honestly making me sick. Harley in particular, coming out of nowhere to declare himself President of the BTS fanclub. The ego on his man is horrifying. White male privilege, coming into an existing fandom and declaring that you, a fan for two whole minutes, are leader of all of us. No. Sure, being a new BTS stan is FINE. I dont mind that they or any other new fans like BTS (if they actually do like them awesome, but it looks like they are just using them for retweets/exposure) but to proclaim you ‘lead’ us. The sheer nerve of these entitled assholes.  Literally coming out of nowhere then in the last few days suddenly preaching about how they are “Jimins number 1 fan” and “BTS fanclub President”. 

It’s freaking mansplaining. ‘oh youve liked this thing for years/months/weeks, well I, as a man, like it now too. Therefore I am superior fan and you will treat me like I am better than you.’ It just reeks of entitlement. Also this Bart guy, another youtuber, with a murky past, made a considerably racist comment about seeing a person of Asian descent on the street and saying “Jimin?” (side note why does poor Jimin attract the crazy people lately :( )

Im just so angry and like i have to deal with freaking male privilege every day and I really cant listen to another goddamn guy tell me how to enjoy something. ARMY already have leaders, and they are the 7 members of BTS, not you. We don’t need a president when we have them and if you really liked them you would know, understand and respect this.

There is a right way and a wrong way to join a new fandom and disregarding and disrespecting the existing fans is not the way to do it. Other celebrities have recently shown their support after learning about BTS and they arent assholes. So what makes these guys do this kind of shit? Attention probably. I know I’m giving it to them but I am very frustrated by this.  

If you’re not going to be respectful to ARMY and BTS then please go back to your youtube channels and eat bacon instead

licollisa  asked:

so i wondered, since u draw with paper and stuff... you, uh, shitposting alot XD (Which is actually for my need of daily memes) can you take a photo of papers that you use for making that kind of posts? like, BUNCH of em?

sorry i really cant post any of my art for awhile

im using an internet cafe to check on my tumblr daily every 30 mins xD

also
i have no scanner now (so i cant update my comic)

im still planning on buying my own pocket wifi so dont worry

and

ill find a way to update my epictale comic 


i apologize guys

im still dealing wih my new “LIFE” for now

anonymous asked:

Girl how do you find the strength to deal with bullies? I've been bullied my whole life about my weight and other things. It got so bad that I had to move schools.

ive left school from being bullied, and that caused me to graduate a year late and take eight core classes in one school year (senior year so i never got to go to prom or anything really.) it is HARD to deal with and i hear A LOT of hateful things daily. i have 35k on instagram and people think its a good thing til they realize what “popular” accounts go through daily. esp if you’re fat. unsolicited advice, tons of rude and fatphobic opinions, if you have your own style and aren’t polished at makeup or dress “messy”, then everyone comes for you and screenshots your selfies to talk loads of shit. i try to avoid any posts or memes that people make of me, but i end up being tagged. i have ALWAYS been picked on for how i look, so this just feels like school all over again. people not understanding me or my aesthetics so they call me horrible names. also constantly having assumptions about me being made sucks too.
bullying never leaves when youre an alternative fat black girl (im not sure if you are but bullying bc of your weight is horrible, i know the feeling)
i delete about 30-50 comments constantly because skinny white girls will tag their boyfriends and will say something like “this is how i look after eating a big meal” or guys will tag another guy and be like “she would break you if she ever rode you” and that is a common fear for fat girls who are sexually active and i honestly cant stand a lot of fatphobic cis men. im ranting rn but i honestly do not know how i deal with it. i have a headache right now from seeing people screenshot my posts and having threads of hateful remarks directed towards me. you honestly just have to stay strong. people will tell me not to post about it bc it will give the other person attention but honestly fuck that. if you pick on me, im going to make sure you get reported because no one goes on instagram to get bullied for existing. it isnt fair. my best advice would just to be to learn to have tougher skin. because in the end, they will lose

anonymous asked:

Hola! i think ive read so many fics of sterek where they are enemies or fbi agents but i cant find more sadly ): do you know new ones??

Hey :) 

Here are a few more enemies to lovers fics. 

Plus One by  Moosey | 44.8K

“Dude, I can’t show up solo to my ex-girlfriends wedding. I can’t do that,” Scott stressed, his face arranged in an expression that was almost comically anguished, like one of those weird, sad-face, tragic drama masks.

“So we find you a date,” Stiles shrugged, as though it was no big deal. Scott was adorable, in reasonably good shape, and probably the best guy Stiles had ever known, or would ever know. He wouldn’t have any real issues with getting a girl.

“Stiles, it’s in two weeks. Two weeks. How do I find a girl willing to date me, and come abroad with me to my exes wedding, in two weeks?!”

Broken Nose by  Stereksale7 | 3.1K

Stiles is convinced that Jock-y Derek Hale hates him. It takes an accidental injury at the beach to turn that all upside down.

To Feel Your Heart as It’s Keeping Mine by  Vendelin | 8.5K

Stiles and Derek have been dating for four months, when Derek gets in an accident and loses all his memories from the past year and a half. Now, he’s once again the Derek Stiles used to despise, and even worse, Derek thinks that he still hates Stiles’ guts.

You’re Not Who I Thought You Were by  halcyon1993 | 84.9K

Stiles is lonely. The only person who really talks to him is his best friend, and even Scott seems eager to ditch him whenever someone better comes along. Then, following a stupid decision made late one night, his small world opens up as he discovers things he never before thought possible, and he meets a mysterious man who could be the answer to all of his problems.

Pale Skin and Fragile Bones by  lydiasbones | 13.7K

Or, the one in which Derek arrests one of Stiles’ friends and Stiles holds a grudge. Also, Stiles wrote Derek’s favorite book. But they don’t know that.

anonymous asked:

Imagine AJ is a porn star - what are his specialisms?

his specialty? GOD this is a good question omfg!!!

i’d say he’d be great at oral, like going down on a girl would be one of his “specialisms” cos he’d make such a huge deal out of getting her off multiple times, and he’d throw her legs over his shoulders and really dig in, be a complete daddy about it you know?

another specialty of his would just be jacking off.. like just a solo session cos I just imagine him being all breathy as he gets off, and sweaty and biting his lip and trying to keep quiet and suppress his moans but he cANT (he really lays it on thick with the acting)

what do u guys think!!!???

The whole kiss (can we all agree to use “our moment” as a special quote for them? and seriously, I’m completely emotionally unable to deal with Romantic Jughead you guys) was this complete package of beautiful but I just wanted to highlight here his hand on her neck and face and how sweet and caring he is while touching her, not only on this scene but ON EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. bye

hi guys! i haven’t really updated y'all much on life lately so here we go:

-i just scored a job!! (like literally an hour ago)

-me and my dude are really good, like REALLY good and like…i can’t even put explain what i’m feeling¿😍i met his mom on easter and she got me a bunch of vegan stuff and was so sweet and told chris she adored me and like i adore him and like we are just…GREAT

-i cant wait to get out of the dorms. i’ve had a pretty wonky experience here and i’m just ready to DIP!!

-my hippies and SI joint are feeling better than ever! however, i’m now dealing with runners knee and am still not running. soon, soon, soon. (also, thanks so much to my lovely friends on here for the advice and help and support! you guys rock)

-IM SO PUMPED TO LIVE IN AN APARTMENT WITH ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS(i move in at the end of june)

-i’ve been drinking so much coffee. and i’m getting worried it’s stripping my calcium? anyone have any knowledge on this?! :-(

-school has been boring me lately which is crappy, but i know it’s just bc i’m taking GE’s. so again, PATIENCE MELISSA. gotta get through it.

that’s all i can think of right now, but i’ll update y'all if i think of more stuff goin on in life! love you darling angels! 😋

anonymous asked:

dont you feel bad at all about trans-junk-rat deleting?

he spent several hours last night calling me an incest supporter w absolutely no poof which unsurprisingly led to his large following sending me dozens of insulting asks. and you know what? i might have been willing to deal w that if hed apologised, bc blogs cant be responsible for their followers. 

but deleting because you cant cope w being told you did something racist and then making a half-assed passive aggressive apology?? youre joking right? the guys a moron. good riddance.

anonymous asked:

I've realized this past year i have ADHD which has been a miracle, in terms of explaining why i do certain things. your blog is a godsend because ive been on this journey of wondering was is and isnt related to my adhd? I was wondering about stimming, and more specifically singing. I've always enjoyed singing and im pretty good at it but it feels more like an impulse, like if im super stressed and cant sing it just makes me feel uncomfortable and even more stressed? Thank you guys

Singing can definitely be a stim. There’s a lot of sensory stuff going on when you sing! It can also be impulsive, but if you’re stressed and singing will help you calm down and deal with the situation better, then it is probably a stim.

-J

anonymous asked:

hey, i was wondering if u could recommend me some bl manhwa.. i'm new to all this, i've only read killing stalking, and never understand. i would rlly appreciate it !!

Haha okay~ 😊 Actually I also dont read that much but there are some i could recommend.



Moritat 

Because it is really good. It is a mystery bl. I read it non-stop even tho there was a really important exam after that day  😅 I also read it again and again because whenever I read it I notice a new thing. About summary, the guy with blue eyes (Jesse) lost his memory due to some circumstances. He wakes up in the hospital without his memories and you are trying to find truth with him. And there is the exteremely suspicious blonde guy (Law) says he is Jesse’s lover. For a while you are doubting Law but after some time you are even doubting Jesse who actually narrates story. I mean basically your brain is gonna explode  😝

You can read the prologue here.



At The End of Road

I also really love this webtoon. I’m gonna go to summary right away. There is a boy (the boy on left: Siwon) who gets bullied everytime at school so much that he wants to end his life. So he jumps in front of a truck.  Then there is another guy (Taemin) that lives alone and does his best to live literally opposite of Siwon. And this guy also hit by truck. Then everything changes… This two guys change their bodies. Taemin finds himself in Siwon’s body and of course in Siwon’s life. While Taemin trying to find true and deal with guys who bullies Siwon (I mean its actually Taemin now in Siwon’s body of course :D) then Taemin meets Woojin (the guy on the right) who was his old and very precious friend that he didnt see for years. He hides the truth from everyone but cant hide from Woojin. For Woojin, Siwon’s behaviour reminds of Taemin so much that he starts to suspect something. This is really good. AH!!!

You can read the first echapter here.



A Guy Like You

Basically Jinha (the guy with silver hair) follows Siwon (other one) in his dreams but this dreams just feels so real. He says there is something happened between them before about 2-3 years ago that Siwon doesnt remember because he was drunk. Lol you can say what he forgot right anyway.. They meet in the dreams but in the college Jinha behaves like nothing happened. Siwon searches for meaning of all this dream. And throughout the story Siwon realizes that ‘the thing happened between them 2 years ago’  is not the only thing that he forgot about Jinha but there was also a ‘promise’ between them. This is also one i love so much. 

Yes and the prologue is here!


Ah sorry if i couldnt explain very well because English is not my main language so I hope I could’ve give the point. And thanks for asking. All is yours! Enjoy! 

anonymous asked:

tw: dysphoria, internalized transphobia -im a trans guy but im on my period and it makes me feel like im faking being trans, and all i can think about is how i'll never 'really' be a guy and it's making me really upset and anxious and i already had a panick attack when it started but im still anxious and idk what to do to make it stop. please help

You are not faking anything because of a body process you have no control over. The majority have to deal with it at some point and not by choice. Its something that cant be helped and thats just how it is without medical intervention in some form. Its just a process, it doesnt change or define your gender. You are already a guy regardless of that or anything else. We dont have to undergo any medical changes to be valid, our gender is still the same either way. Those thoughts are not true. What you are dealing with now doesnt have to be forever either

In relation to helping with it, the main thing is distraction to try and forget about it. It can be really horrible to go through and thinking about it only makes it worse. Focus on something you enjoy instead like a game, tv, book etc. If you wanted it stopped then looking into doing that might be a good step for you prior to T (if you intend to go on it) so you dont have to deal with that at least if its a possibility for you

Here are a few posts on dealing with it

http://transbrotherhood.tumblr.com/post/130885525819/dealing-with-the-dreaded-period-trigger-warning

http://transbrotherhood.tumblr.com/post/132090340575/what-can-i-do-to-make-myself-feel-more-masculine


Here are some posts that may also be of use to you right now, there are a lot of links on coping with anxiety and panic attacks that you can look into as well and things to help with distraction

http://transbrotherhood.tumblr.com/post/128373598793/fhlirt-pearcult-ok-so-this-post-is-extremely

http://transbrotherhood.tumblr.com/post/138496403226/calming-masterpost

http://transbrotherhood.tumblr.com/post/156436923688/guys-this-is-very-important

Okay but guys the new soundtrack for season 4 is so freaking beautiful. Bellamy and Clarke theme especially. And King Roan is just- It’s just amazing. LISTEN TO IT YOU GUYS I CANT
(I See You is also giving me major emotions I can’t deal with at the moment)