i cant belive i made this

I was tagged by starlightdeadstar ! Thank you, I cant belive that I’m one of the fave blogs of one of my fave blogs! (Sorry for my horrible English)

Why did you choose your tumblr URL?

Well, my friends call me Gaby, when I was like seven years my aunt gave me a bracelet with interchangeable letters so I made a mixture with the four letters (g-a-b-y) until I get the word bagy. And 1999 because of my birthday! Also I use bagy as my nickname in my social networks.
And the title of my blog (mon coeur S’ ouvre à ta voix/ the little shank) because “ I belong to you” is one of my favourite songs ever and the little shank because of my friend alejag0603(the maze runner series)

If you could have a fictional pet, what would it be?

Bernie Kosar (im number 4), an Unicorn or a Dinosaur.

Favourite colour?

Green , red and blue as Matt Bellamy’s hair (OoS era and Showbiz era) and black (black is also a happy color)

Favourite song at the moment?
What a difficult question!
Dead Inside by Muse and Do or die by 30stm
Top 3 fandoms?

Muse, the echelon, and (OMG I just 3?), TMI, TMR, PJ series or LOTR

Why do you love tumblr?

Tumblr is perfect I can write about what I see and what i feel without being judged. Here the bloggers are real people and you can meet new friends. I can expend my whole time in tumblr without getting bored. Tumblr is the perfect mixture between fandoms and reality!

Tag your fave blogs to do this:

alejag0603 (I love you teddy !)







Sorry if I didn’t tagged you, there are a lot!
But if you wanna do this just do it. Also if I tag you but you really dont like to do this it’s totaly okay
They all deserve love !
Thank you

i still cannot belive that horse-tumblr found that post i made a week ago and now i cant even use tumblr mobile bc my entire notifications thing is just a bunch of different horse themed urls 

im a horse now its very hard to type with hooves but im managing 

we are the weages of the sin
this is now
this is where you bleed

i allways hoped the best for us i allways listened to you why couldn’t do the same why did you never listened to me

i wish you did the same

we could have been we should been and we would have been if not for time and distance shit and fear and does excuses that made you worthless everyday more and more

now with my hands on your throat
your eyes closed tears flowing through your cheeks you listen silence suddenly stops you listen closely to what i say

im so sick of you this is
for all the lies i carry in my cross one day they will all crumble i guess that day is now
pay for your sins pay for your lies i cant belive i was so blinded

ill cease you with no remorse

people think love is the way to escape from their depression their sadness well their damn wrong cause i have tried a 1000 times a 1000 time ive been rejected like dirt but once i fall i get up fast and ill errase this love i have inside this bad habit i have by leting you close to my heart

your existence its just another imperfection just like your face is going to be when im done with you hypocrite whore

your boody its just another use for pleasure everybody will use you like an condom and then throw you like nothing happened your just another slut in this dying world

your eyes are blind so weak but light wont go through them any more

i gave my all for you
you gave me headache sleep was stolen by you still i keept along with the bullshit
i tried to save you
you backsatbed me
now im trying to end you

i was close but you chose to put your knife in my heart

that day you dug your own grave now get ready cause like the speed of lighting ill promise you no one will ever recognize your godamn bleeding face not even your god will

you wont be missed

I dont get it. Honestly. I dont get what you dont get. You lied to me. You lied about everything. You made me belive everything you said, you made me feel guilty about asking you about certain things. You made me feel like shit when you would cry to me that I dont trust you. 

You were selfish. You were childish. You manipulated me. You didnt think of me as a person. You saw me as something, or someone, you could use for personal gain. You used me to feel better about yourself. You used me to forget things in your life. You used me. 

Now you talk to me like nothing is wrong, like im not still hurt, like i cant remember everything you said and everything you did to me. I remember every word, i remember ever thing you made me cry about and you made me mad about. You act like you didnt do anything wrong, you act like everything i say now or the way i act now towards you is me being an asshole, and its not, i have taller walls now, i have a fence on that wall, i have a fence thats electric. 

You destroyed my trust. You broke my heart. You broke me. I knew who i was before you, and i dont know why i let myself get lost in you. You never kept your promises, you never kept your word. 

Im going to find myself again. 

Im never going to trust you again. 


a snake, butterfly, and square
  • i cant get comfortable in my own skin anymore im not suppose to be this gender, i cant buy clothes in the mens section they wont let me get comhpy tees insted of crop tops thay show underboob, and tiny ass shorts that make me scream why cant i be free of this body of this mistake, im suppose to marry but i dont belive in that shit im suppose to get a good edjucation but thats worthless shit to me so insted i sit in a chair all day and think about the mistakes i made, i hate myself in this world and i want to be free from thsi caccoon of depression and sadness that ive made over the years. i wanna break free and become that butterfly im suppose to be but insted all my friends have hatched and i have not been let free, into this world of caos and dispare but i dont care cuz ill be free of me the me that everyone wants me to be they dont care about me about being a man insted of a woman..they dont get that this isnt me and i need to be let go of and be let free into my own world my own life, the life of happyness and freedom. i need that insted of this world of depression and guilt
  • im being shaped into the circle that my mdad my grandma my relives shape me to be but insted im a square i got corner i need to go threw insted of just passing by thinking that im all right but inSTED I AM STUCK I AM TRAPPED IN ABODY I DO NOT WANT ANY MORE I NEED TO BE A SNAKE AND SHED AWAY THE SKIN THAT MEANS NOTHING TO ME I NEED MY WINGS TO FLY AWAY AND BE MY OWN PERSON THE SQUARE I NEED TO BE LET GO OF ME SET ME FREE DONT WORRY ABOUT ME ILL BE FINE ON MY OWN, IM A STRAY CAT THAT WILL FIND ITS HOME..let me be my own person and not your doll to dress up and make perfect..let me be..ill be fine
  • stop
cant sleep...

i packed all my stuff up today its all boxed up and gone home i literally have clothes and a pc in my flat, im having to move out and find a new place to live because uni dont want me on site anymore, every part of my life has been ripped through and affected when is enough enough you win you have ruined my life you have made me more unhappy than i was then , im living everyday as it comes i cant belive how shit life has got so fast i feel so lost.

do i really deserve all this suffering and pain.

Memories to turn to Moments!

Memories to turn to Moments!

When i look at that photograph,

my teeth start shining to the world,

every time i look at the image you made,

there’s dust that goes into my eyes,

All takes me to memory lane,

i missed it now, i cant belive it’s not today,

every time i go sleep i re-live those days,

when i wake up, the questions are made,

will i see you today? were you will be with me?

just the wind answers me, just my will…

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Caliban tour with Emmure canceld

I was looking forward to this so badly, cant belive it…
Made me sad as fuck when i got these news. Please set up a new tour soon!!

i wrote this a while a go so fuck it, it cant get any worse


So its taken some time and well im in some sort of state where i can write and it wont be total shit. I know you hate me now and well its made a huge part of be die inside, the voices in my head all sound like you, the good ones and the bad ones, if i ever told you i was over you then you should know not to belive it, you could tear me apart, tell me that you wanted me dead and id still wait for you because the love i feel for you is stronger than anything iv ever felt, i know that i cant live much longer without you, im scared ill get to living alone and just end all the pain, sadness and suffering in one quick knife to my chest, i know i said you left a knife in my back and i was lying, i put it there, i know that the only reason you’ve left me is due to me being so protective that it stopped me growing, i just wanted to watch you grow and see you safe, i know that in everything you do you are safe and that if you did ever come into any harm yoy would have come to me, i would have made sure nothing could hurt you, with you i felt immortal, i felt like i was living on clouds, you made me feel like there was no pain or darkness in my life, you cleared my head and the moment you broke everything off brought back all the pain and darkness and made it stronger, i never attempted suicide before meeting you but when you broke up with me, i felt so empty and broken that i had nothing left to live for and i still to this day feel empty, i never intended to try and kill myself, i got in the bath and something snapped, the voices were telling me it would be okay and that i would be fine if i did it, normally when you’re underwater for a long time your brain tells you to go for air and well mine didn’t it let me slip down and i felt at peace, its like without you im better of dead, the sadness can end but with you im even greater, there is nothing making me sad anymore, i can truly say that you are the only light at the end of the tunnel. Kira Hock, i love everything about you, i love your smile, i love the way your eyes change from gray to light blue throughout the day, i love the little twitches you do when you sleep, i love the noises you make when you sleep, i could spend a life time listing of everything i love about you but its much easier to hold you close, kiss you and tell you “ I love you ”.