i cannot with the feels okay

@wildfire-whizbangs

                 “soft as silk, sweet as honey”

Okay, yinz. Listen up. If you ever want to be thirst trapped from just looking at pictures of the Phelps Twins - because who doesn’t? - Henrietta is your woman. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve gone on her blog and walked away with too many feels - if you feel me. Seriously though, she is a wonderful person, and I feel privileged to know her.

anonymous asked:

is it my fault if my guy asks me if it's okay for him to be still be friends with this other guy who insulted me and I say do what you want and now I'm upset because he chose to go ahead and hang out with him knowing I don't like him? I think it's my fault bc I didn't tell him straight up I don't like it but on the other hand if he chooses this decision than does he care about my feelings? What does that say? He's okay with it? Its okay if I'm in the wrong, I just don't know if I am

If you tell someone to do what they want, they will do what they want. And you cannot be mad at them for that. He asked you directly, giving you the chance to be honest. Some people wouldn’t have even asked, but he did. And you chose not to be honest. That was your choice. And then he made his. I’d say that is your fault.

Rick Riordan won a Stonewall award today

for his second Magnus Chase book, due to the inclusion of the character Alex Fierro who is gender fluid. This was the speech he gave, and it really distills why I love this author and his works so much, and why I will always recommend his works to anyone and everyone.

“Thank you for inviting me here today. As I told the Stonewall Award Committee, this is an honor both humbling and unexpected.

So, what is an old cis straight white male doing up here? Where did I get the nerve to write Alex Fierro, a transgender, gender fluid child of Loki in The Hammer of Thor, and why should I get cookies for that?

These are all fair and valid questions, which I have been asking myself a lot.

I think, to support young LGBTQ readers, the most important thing publishing can do is to publish and promote more stories by LGBTQ authors, authentic experiences by authentic voices. We have to keep pushing for this. The Stonewall committee’s work is a critical part of that effort. I can only accept the Stonewall Award in the sense that I accept a call to action – firstly, to do more myself to read and promote books by LGBTQ authors.

But also, it’s a call to do better in my own writing. As one of my genderqueer readers told me recently, “Hey, thanks for Alex. You didn’t do a terrible job!” I thought: Yes! Not doing a terrible job was my goal!

As important as it is to offer authentic voices and empower authors and role models from within LGBTQ community, it’s is also important that LGBTQ kids see themselves reflected and valued in the larger world of mass media, including my books. I know this because my non-heteronormative readers tell me so. They actively lobby to see characters like themselves in my books. They like the universe I’ve created. They want to be part of it. They deserve that opportunity. It’s important that I, as a mainstream author, say, “I see you. You matter. Your life experience may not be like mine, but it is no less valid and no less real. I will do whatever I can to understand and accurately include you in my stories, in my world. I will not erase you.”

People all over the political spectrum often ask me, “Why can’t you just stay silent on these issues? Just don’t include LGBTQ material and everybody will be happy.” This assumes that silence is the natural neutral position. But silence is not neutral. It’s an active choice. Silence is great when you are listening. Silence is not so great when you are using it to ignore or exclude.

But that’s all macro, ‘big picture’ stuff. Yes, I think the principles are important. Yes, in the abstract, I feel an obligation to write the world as I see it: beautiful because of its variations. Where I can’t draw on personal experience, I listen, I read a lot – in particular I want to credit Beyond Magenta and Gender Outlaws for helping me understand more about the perspective of my character Alex Fierro – and I trust that much of the human experience is universal. You can’t go too far wrong if you use empathy as your lens. But the reason I wrote Alex Fierro, or Nico di Angelo, or any of my characters, is much more personal.

I was a teacher for many years, in public and private school, California and Texas. During those years, I taught all kinds of kids. I want them all to know that I see them. They matter. I write characters to honor my students, and to make up for what I wished I could have done for them in the classroom.

I think about my former student Adrian (a pseudonym), back in the 90s in San Francisco. Adrian used the pronouns he and him, so I will call him that, but I suspect Adrian might have had more freedom and more options as to how he self-identified in school were he growing up today. His peers, his teachers, his family all understood that Adrian was female, despite his birth designation. Since kindergarten, he had self-selected to be among the girls – socially, athletically, academically. He was one of our girls. And although he got support and acceptance at the school, I don’t know that I helped him as much as I could, or that I tried to understand his needs and his journey. At that time in my life, I didn’t have the experience, the vocabulary, or frankly the emotional capacity to have that conversation. When we broke into social skills groups, for instance, boys apart from girls, he came into my group with the boys, I think because he felt it was required, but I feel like I missed the opportunity to sit with him and ask him what he wanted. And to assure him it was okay, whichever choice he made. I learned more from Adrian than I taught him. Twenty years later, Alex Fierro is for Adrian.

I think about Jane (pseudonym), another one of my students who was a straight cis-female with two fantastic moms. Again, for LGBTQ families, San Francisco was a pretty good place to live in the 90s, but as we know, prejudice has no geographical border. You cannot build a wall high enough to keep it out. I know Jane got flack about her family. I did what I could to support her, but I don’t think I did enough. I remember the day Jane’s drama class was happening in my classroom. The teacher was new – our first African American male teacher, which we were all really excited about – and this was only his third week. I was sitting at my desk, grading papers, while the teacher did a free association exercise. One of his examples was ‘fruit – gay.’ I think he did it because he thought it would be funny to middle schoolers. After the class, I asked to see the teacher one on one. I asked him to be aware of what he was saying and how that might be hurtful. I know. Me, a white guy, lecturing this Black teacher about hurtful words. He got defensive and quit, because he said he could not promise to not use that language again. At the time, I felt like I needed to do something, to stand up especially for Jane and her family. But did I make things better handling it as I did? I think I missed an opportunity to open a dialogue about how different people experience hurtful labels. Emmie and Josephine and their daughter Georgina, the family I introduce in The Dark Prophecy, are for Jane.

I think about Amy, and Mark, and Nicholas … All former students who have come out as gay since I taught them in middle school. All have gone on to have successful careers and happy families. When I taught them, I knew they were different. Their struggles were greater, their perspectives more divergent than some of my other students. I tried to provide a safe space for them, to model respect, but in retrospect I don’t think I supported them as well as I could have, or reached out as much as they might have needed. I was too busy preparing lessons on Shakespeare or adjectives, and not focusing enough on my students’ emotional health. Adjectives were a lot easier for me to reconcile than feelings. Would they have felt comfortable coming out earlier than college or high school if they had found more support in middle school? Would they have wanted to? I don’t know. But I don’t think they felt it was a safe option, which leaves me thinking that I did not do enough for them at that critical middle school time. I do not want any kid to feel alone, invisible, misunderstood. Nico di Angelo is for Amy, and Mark and Nicholas.

I am trying to do more. Percy Jackson started as a way to empower kids, in particular my son, who had learning differences. As my platform grew, I felt obliged to use it to empower all kids who are struggling through middle school for whatever reason. I don’t always do enough. I don’t always get it right. Good intentions are wonderful things, but at the end of a manuscript, the text has to stand on its own. What I meant ceases to matter. Kids just see what I wrote. But I have to keep trying. My kids are counting on me.

So thank you, above all, to my former students who taught me. Alex Fierro is for you.

To you, I pledge myself to do better – to apologize when I screw up, to learn from my mistakes, to be there for LGBTQ youth and make sure they know that in my books, they are included. They matter. I am going to stop talking now, but I promise you I won’t stop listening.”

Reasons why I love Ronan Lynch:

  • Sarcastic asshole
  • Threw Noah out the Monmouth second story window for funsies
  • Paid off $2400 of Adam’s yearly rent just so he could still go to Aglionby, thinking that Adam would never suspect him
  • Named his pet raven Chainsaw. Like, of all names in the world? how edgy
  • Punched the shit out of Adam’s father for doing the same to Adam and not giving a flying fuck about the consequences
  • He still goes to church every Sunday with both his brothers despite everything that’s happened to him and them
  • “Dream toaster”
  • “Don’t fucking swear”
  • “I didn’t want to mess up my hair”
  • “Life isn’t just sex and drugs and cars”
  • “Why do you hate you?” “I don’t”
  • “Maybe I dreamt you”
  • Grabbed onto Blue without hesitation when Gansey fell into the hole in the Cabeswater cave so she wouldn’t fall in after him and Adam
  • “If they die, I die too”
  • “Never-never land of time-space fuckery”
  • “Ronan was singing that awful murder squash song the whole damn time”
  • Trips trying to be cool and mysterious in front of Adam, and then acts like it didn’t happen
  • “Looks fucking friendly. Bovine the boy wizard.”
  • Told Adam to sit inside the basket of a shopping cart so that he could push it and ride it across the parking lot until they crashed into the BMW
  • Actually tied his damn tie right for once and tucked in his shirt to be a witness for Adam in his case against his father
  • “Fuck magic. Fuck this…It ate my deer thing.”

SHORT STORIES, my favorite kind of poetry ( meme ).

SIX WORDS .

❝ i heard you were doing good. ❞
❝ you don’t grow your horns overnight. ❞
❝ i promise, it gets better eventually. ❞
❝ & we never talked after that. ❞
❝ am i really, truly, that unlovable? ❞
❝ don’t talk like you’re coming back. ❞
❝ my most dangerous habit is trusting. ❞
❝ we’re made of stars & stories. ❞
❝ you didn’t have to do that. ❞
❝ everything is poetry when you’re drunk. ❞
❝ did i mean anything to you? ❞
❝ real feelings don’t just go away. ❞
❝ you came & changed the weather. ❞
❝ when can you just be mine? ❞
❝ there was no love, only lust. ❞
❝ darling, stop wishing on dead stars. ❞
❝ art is another form of screaming. ❞
❝ silence is the most painful goodbye. ❞
❝ what the fuck did you do? ❞
❝ i’m drunk, dizzy & missing you. ❞
❝ kiss me like you’re losing me. ❞
❝ i don’t feel like smiling today. ❞
❝ not all good people are innocent. ❞
❝ we’re a disaster in the making. ❞
❝ some things are better left unsaid. ❞
❝ we really should’ve talked about it. ❞
❝ i’m so glad i met you. ❞
❝ i wish i knew you earlier. ❞
❝ i fucked (pronoun/name) to our song. ❞
❝ i dreamed of you this night. ❞

TEN WORDS .

❝ you saw the messed up parts of me, & stayed. ❞
❝ all i’ve ever wanted was for someone to save me. ❞
❝ since you left, i have no one to talk to. ❞
❝ i apologize for the nights in which i cannot breathe. ❞
❝ everytime i look at you, i want to kiss you. ❞
❝ we said no strings attached but now we’re in knots. ❞
❝ there’s a difference between missing someone & missing having someone. ❞
❝ for which f are you drinking? fuck, forget, or fun? ❞
❝ my biggest mistake was thinking i could live without (pronoun/name). ❞
❝ whenever (name/pronoun) rose to kiss me, i fell even more. ❞
❝ i wish that ‘goodnight’ was followed by ‘i love you’. ❞
❝ let’s smoke a pack of mentholds & talk about love. ❞
❝ your deep, sleepy voice makes me feel like i’m okay. ❞
❝ i read both of our horoscopes looking for an answer ❞
❝ reality is the absolute last place i want to be. ❞
❝ i didn’t expect that drunk kiss could mean this much. ❞
❝ all i need is a late night drive with you. ❞
❝ feeling pain is nowhere near as terrifying as feeling nothing. ❞
❝ your eyes are the color of summer fading into autumn. ❞
❝ you are the warmest home i will ever, ever find. ❞
❝ the world is less scary when i am with you. ❞
❝ i still can’t tell which of us was the victim. ❞
❝ i just need an excuse to hang out with you. ❞
❝ your expectations for me have been set way too high. ❞
❝ i don’t want to feel this way about anyone else. ❞

A To-Do List for White Fandom

I’ve seen several posts circulating today about racism in multiple fandoms. The arguments and counterpoints I’ve seen are not unexpected. For background: I am writing instructor and I devote a significant portion of my classes to discussions of media representation. Why? Because I realized I was doing everything that these posts talk about: Ignoring characters of color, sidelining them for white villains or sidekicks with far less screen time, ignoring women of color entirely, etc. And all the while, like so many of you, I said, “I’m not racist.” I had in-universe explanations for why I liked this ‘ship over that one, this character more than that. I could defend and explain everything.

Racism is not who you are. It is what you do. And here’s a fact: All white people do racist things. We’ve been trained to, taught to. It’s in our culture, all around us. If you’re white, our culture has allowed most racism to be entirely invisible to us. Racism isn’t just yelled slurs and burning crosses. Often, racism is simply *not caring* about people who aren’t white. Racism is an inability to empathize with or care about the story of someone who is not white.

IF YOU’RE FEELING DEFENSIVE, PLEASE KEEP READING. I beg you. That’s exactly the feeling we have to push through. I’m going to give you a brief list of actions we can take. And I know these are important because I have to do them, all the time. Because the poison is in me, too.

If you truly believe in equality and want to be a better person, then here’s what we, as white fans, have to do:

1. BE BRAVE ENOUGH TO BE UNCOMFORTABLE. It absolutely sucks to realize you may have hurt someone, or that you might be wrong. Realizing you’ve done something racist is a stomach-churning reality check. Have the courage to face it. Don’t run from it.

2. INSTEAD OF LOOKING FOR WAYS YOU’RE NOT RACIST, LOOK FOR WAYS THAT YOU *ARE*. It’s comforting and tempting to itemize the ways in which we’re open-minded. See #1 again. Don’t let yourself be comfortable. Instead, look for what you do and ways you contribute to fandom racism. Maybe it’s reblogging or creating gif sets that leave out main characters of color. Maybe it’s forgetting to include them in your fanfiction, even when they would rightfully be there. Maybe it’s reducing them to stereotypes or caretakers for white characters. Maybe it’s ‘shipping the white leads with anyone but the POC around them. Maybe it’s accusing POC fans of “starting drama” when they discuss racism. Look at your actions and be honest with yourself.

3. PUT IN THE EFFORT TO FALL IN LOVE WITH POC CHARACTERS. Here’s the thing: It’s easy for us to fall in love with white male heroes and villains. It’s what we’ve been training for all our lives, with every movie, television show, and book we’ve ever enjoyed. Media *encourages* us to love white men. So yes, falling in love with a character of color will be harder, and it probably won’t “just happen.” So, truly look at Finn and Poe, at Cassian Andor and Bodhi. Truly look at Luke Garroway and Magnus Bane, at Luke Cage, at Iris West and James Olsen, at Michonne. Seek out ways to connect with their feelings and their stories. Look at them as full-hearted, three-dimensional human beings. Force yourself to become obsessed with them. If you do this, I would be absolutely shocked if you don’t fall in love with one of them.

4. LISTEN TO POC FANS. Yes, even if they’re angry and call you names. For my research, I spend a lot of time on blogs that talk about hating white people, hating white fans, hating white feminists. The language is furious and vitriolic. So what? They have every right to be angry. Instead of judging their anger, LISTEN to it. Try to be better. Don’t say “not all white fans,” or “not all white people.” Instead, try to be a better white person. Be a better white fan. Be a white fan who is brave enough to look at themselves and truly be an ally. Do not silence POC fans. I promise you: Listen, and you’ll realize they’re not overreacting.

5. REMEMBER THAT “ALLY” IS A VERB. Our thoughts count for nothing. It’s our actions that speak for us. Maybe you’ve read all this and you still want to insist that you’re not racist. Okay. But your actions might be. Challenge the stereotypes that exist in your head, learn to identify them as stereotypes and be willing to hold yourself and other white fans accountable.

6. REPEAT STEPS 1-5 FOREVER. We cannot cure our internalized white supremacy in a weekend. This is a forever gig. But it’s one of the most worthwhile tasks you can ever give yourself. Want to feel like you’re changing the world? Here’s where it starts.

Inevitably there’s more to add to this list. I’m always learning, but I thought it might be useful to share a few of these steps I’ve learned along the way. I love fandom. I believe profoundly in the transformative power of fanfiction, fan creations, and the friendships forged through our shared love of media.

I believe we can become BETTER PEOPLE through fandom. But it will not happen without our willingness to be transformed.

Back To School Tips Master Post!

I had a few people asking me to do a back to school tips/ how to do well in school post so here it is. I’m a sophomore in college and an honors student so I plan on sharing the things that have helped me succeed. Even though these tips are things I use now in college, most of them I also used in high school so it can be applied there as well. 

Organization                                                                                                           The most beneficial thing you can do is stay organized.

  1. Get a planner.- I bought mine this year at Walgreens for around $7 but it has a plastic cover so all paper ones are even cheaper. A planner is good for keeping track of when everything is due. When I get my syllabi for my classes I go through them and write down the due dates of homework, essays, tests, etc, on the day they are due. You can color code your classes or just write the class next to the assignment. This way you can look at a whole week and see everything you have due for all of your classes in one place. It’s also easier to add in things or make changes if your professor decides to due so.
  2. Use a white board- I know white boards can be expensive, so if you can’t afford one, expo markers will write on laminated paper which you can get for around $4 on Amazon. I use this to keep on my wall and write the next really important date for each class. So I have all my classes listed on the board and let’s say my next big date in Psych is a test. I’d write that date on the board, then after the test, I’d erase it and write the next important date. These dates should be in your planner as well but it’s nice to have them right in front of you at all times so you don’t turn to the next week in your planner and realize you have a test on Monday. 
  3. Buy durable folders- If you’re going to be using your folders all year make sure they’ll last all year. You want to lose any of your assignments. I get plastic folders at Office Depot for $0.39 a piece. I chose a color for each class and write the class at the top in sharpie and I’m good to go!
  4. Notebooks too!- You’re going to be taking a lot of notes so make sure to keep a notebook for each class as well. Mine were $3 each at Office Depot but they have a plastic cover so if you need to save some money get the paper covers because you most likely wont reuse a notebook.
  5. Get a pack of loose leaf paper- Sometimes you have to turn things in and if you’re like me then you hate tearing it out of your notebook. But if you don’t have a problem with that then don’t worry about it!
  6. Use some sort of bag/backpack- This will help you not lose anything plus you can put water, snacks, etc in it as well!

Study Tips                                                                                                               Tests are often the biggest portion of your grade so knowing the best ways to study will help you out the most. 

  1. Figure out what type of learner you are- This can greatly improve your study skills. There are visual learners; these people learn best with charts, graphs, and anything that show a visual relationship between information. So if you’re this type of person, to help study you could make charts, graphs, tables, draws arrows between points of information, or watch videos. Anything to help you see it. There are also auditory learners; these people learn best when hearing the information. So the best way for these people to study is to recite information out loud, or if your course has an audio book to listen to it. You could also have a friend read information to you and you say it as well. Some people are reading/writing learners; they do best when reading the text and writing down important points/taking notes. This is the type of learner I am so to help me study, I write out my own flashcards, I copy power points into my notes, and as I read my chapters I write the important information.  Something else that is good for these kind of learners is to make little quizzes for yourself. There are also kinesthetic learners; they learn best with more hands on activities. This can be hard to do especially with some subjects. If you can physically do what you’re studying then do it. If not, make a game out of it. For example, ask yourself questions and if you get it right take a shot at a basketball hoop or a soccer goal (if you don’t have these things use a paper ball and your trashcan or anything you can substitute. Figuring out which learner you are will greatly improve how you study.
  2. Don’t wait until right before a test- Cramming your brain with all the information a few days before a test will not help you remember and only stress you out. This is called Massed Practice and is proven to be a waste of time and information is not retained well. Study a little everyday or every other day. This is called the Spacing Effect and is proven to improve retention and recall of information. So it is best to do short sessions of study over a long period of time rather than a long session all at once.
  3. Find a good place to study- If you like quiet places and your house/dorm is too loud go to a library or outside if it’ s a nice day.  If you like a lot of background noise play some music or go to a coffee shop.

Overall Tips                                                                                                            These tips are still really important but I don’t have enough that fit together to make another header.

  1. Work on what’s due first- Some people think it’s always best to work on the important things first but that’s not always the case. If your essay is due in two weeks and you have an assignment due in a few days then finish the assignment first. You’ll still have plenty of time for your essay. I suggest doing all your work but if something happens to where you just can’t then yes do the more important thing because it’ll be a bigger part of your grade.
  2. Writing Centers- A lot of colleges/universities have writing centers.  If you’re not the best at writing or just need some help you can make an appointment at the writing center where someone highly qualified in writing will read your paper/essay and help you with grammar, punctuation, idea flow, overall organization etc. I highly suggest checking to see if your school has one of these.
  3. Check your email/Blackboard/whatever your professor uses- This is where they may add extra assignments/ cancel class and not mention it in class. It’s always important to check.
  4. Try to relax- I know it can be hard, especially for students with depression, anxiety, and other mental/physical illnesses but it’s important to always take a moment and calm down. Take breaks from your work and do something you enjoy for at least a few minutes everyday. If you need a nap, take a nap. just set an alarm to pick back up on your work later.
  5. Don’t worry about being perfect- This is still something I’m working on myself but getting better at. Last semester I got a B for the first time since my sophomore year of high school and it bothered me to no end. But, I told myself I did my best, and as a person with bad social anxiety I’m okay with my B in public speaking. So for anyone else who feels like they have to keep their 4.0 all 4 years, don’ t panic if you don’t. There’s nothing wrong with not being perfect, almost no one graduates college with a 4.0. Always do your best, but don’t put too much pressure on yourself. I cannot stress this enough.
  6. Take classes you enjoy- Hopefully you’re in a major that you enjoy so you wont hate your classes too much but it’s still important to try to take a fun class every once in awhile. If you like art, take an art class. Then, you’re still doing work but also doing something you like.
  7. Get a tutor- If you’re not doing as well in a class as you would like, don’t be afraid to get a tutor. Most universities offer tutors who are students that would love to help you and wont be judgmental at all. There’s nothing wrong with getting a little extra help and tutors are often people who have already passed the class with an A so they’ll be very good resources.
  8. Take care of yourself- Overall, make sure you’re eating well and drinking water throughout the day. Sometimes it’s impossible, but try to get enough sleep. If you go out to party watch out for yourself and others. Practice self care and if things get too stressful and you need help don’t be afraid to ask.

I know this post is very long, but I wanted to share everything I could for anyone who wanted help. If I think of anything else I’ll definitely add it later. I hope everyone has a great semester and school year! Good luck to everyone!

A while ago I realized, you can, and should, do things to make yourself happy. There are no guarantees; there are many, many things that you simply cannot control. But it is your responsibility to put in effort. So, I tried. I began to wear nice and elegant outfits to rather dull places, like school or on a walk around the neighborhood, to make it feel like I was doing something nice and elegant. I would take photos of the most boring objects and places, using lighting and angles to manipulate them into something as beautiful as I envisioned in my head. I looked in the mirror, and instead of picking at the flaws that screamed at me, I would search for the things that made me happy about who I was. It was occasionally like searching for a four leaf clover, but working for it was what helped. No, it didn’t always work. Yet the fact that I was trying made me feel as if when I was angry, or sad, or overwhelmed, it was okay because I knew I was capable of happiness, and I was working to be happy. You cannot go through life saying your situation is void of silver linings, not if you refuse to look for them.
—  maybe i’ll write a book with this in it someday, CI carolineingle
brighter than fire (m)

Summary: There’s quite possibly nothing you hate more than Min Yoongi and his stupid, stupid face—and the stupid, stupid way he makes you feel.
Pairing: Yoongi | Reader
Genre: Fluff/Smut, Camp Counselor AU
Word Count: 11,371
Author’s Note: What better way to celebrate the summer than to mix Min Yoongi and camp counseling? Also, this is my first time getting to write really sarcastic Yoongi and I was really living. And to @minsvga – hEY thanks for encouraging sarcastic Yoongi in the first place, and lots of sinning; this is all your fault. 

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As soon as you step off the bus at the top of the mountain, surrounded by trees and forest and the fresh smell of pine, miles and miles away from your family and the troubles of everyday life—there is without a doubt in your mind that you’re reached your home. The sun is bright, hitting your eyes as soon as you depart from the vehicle, which only serves as a benchmark for what the next few weeks would consist of. And for the most part, you cannot wait to bask in the freedom and the responsibility and the adventure of resuming your counselor position at Camp Bulletproof for the fourth year in a row.

There’s an endearing aspect of being a regular at Camp Bulletproof, one that comes with smiles and waves exchanged with counselors who share the same experience as you, ones you’ve known for many years and have a friendship that can transcend the fact that you all didn’t see each other a lot more than you actually saw each other but that doesn’t stop any of you from spending hours on end supplying backstories for stories or sharing tales from school. It’s a gesture that is done very willingly given that some of these people have plagued your childhood and some of your most fond memories. For the most part, you can’t wait until after hours so the counselors could all have some time to catch up.

For the most part.

Keep reading

My Promise To You

My promise to you isn’t that you will not fall, But rather that when you do I’ll help pick you up.

My promise to you isn’t a lifetime of happiness, but a world full of colour, and a paintbrush to cover the grey.

My promise to you isn’t that you’ll never feel sad, but that when you do I’ll do everything in my power not to make you laugh for a second, but to make you feel okay again for as long as possible.

My promise to you isn’t a love where nothing goes wrong, but a love that has enough trust and respect to not let arguments cause earthquakes.

My promise to you is that on days when the colors go away, I make you breakfast and we go for a walk and go to sleep early so that maybe tomorrow is a little bit better.

My promise to you is to do everything in my power to help you feel the tiniest bit better when the world feels like it’s falling down.

I know I cannot cure you and make it all go away,

but I promise I’ll do my best to make sure it doesn’t always stay.

-WanderingWorlds

She shook her head. “Don’t say it. Please, don’t say it,” she begged him. Her heart was breaking and she knew what was coming.

“I love you, okay?” he exclaimed. “Somewhere along the way, I fell so deeply in love with you that I cannot find fresh air. I can’t breathe when I’m around you. You smile at me and, for just one second, I think you feel it, too. You laugh and my heart feels like it could burst at the sound. You hug me and I feel like you’re the perfect puzzle piece I’ve been missing all along. You got under my skin. How could you expect me to keep it to myself?”

Tears streamed down her cheeks. She loved him, she did. She wanted him to have the fairytale ending that he deserved, she just couldn’t be the one to give it to him. It broke her heart to hear him say all these words he could never take back, because she knew that once they were spoken, things could never be the same. He was her best friend. She was going to lose her best friend.

“I’m sorry,” she said quietly. “I’m so sorry, but I can’t.”

—  It shouldn’t be called friend-zoning when you end up losing your friend // excerpt #153
Twenty things I’ve learned in Twenty Years

1. Life will break you down until you’re crawling on your hands and knees, until you feel like you are Atlas holding the world upon your shoulders, until you feel like the raging inferno inside of your chest is going to combust. These are the moments that will forge you in a fire and make you more unbreakable than diamonds.

2. We are made of stardust, at least that’s what they say. I remember someone told me that every atom in my body once belonged to a star that exploded. At night I stare at my hands and wonder when I will erupt. I know now that I cannot trust anyone else to keep me whole in the darkest hours of the night but my own two star infused arms.

3. You will fall in love, and that is okay. Sometimes we need to fall in love to remember that there is good out there. Fall in love with the boy who opens the door for you, fall in love with your boss who works too hard, fall in love with the woman who hands out roses on that one street corner, fall in love with yourself.

4. They weren’t lying when they said we accept the love we think we deserve. I grew up being told I was a mistake and so I adopted the idea that no one could ever love a mistake. I was wrong (they were wrong) and now it’s up to me to prove them wrong. Don’t believe the things they said, you are so much more than the toxins they tried to poison you with.

5. Close your eyes, count to ten, and open them again. You are not alone. I know it may feel like you are the only one, but believe me when I say that you aren’t. I was where you are, and now I have talked to more people that have been through much worse than I than I would like to admit to. You are never alone, not really.

6. Music can save. Play it as loud as you can with the windows down as you drive (probably a little too fast). Play it while you are at work and while you are in the shower and play it when you want to give up in the middle of the day and when you want to give up in the middle of the night. Just play the music that tugs at your heartstrings, it may save you.

7. Nothing in life is easy, not really. You will catch a few breaks here and there, but the rest of the time you will find yourself fighting tooth and nail to make it back to the top. Don’t give up, I almost did this year and if I had I wouldn’t be able to witness what the sun looks like shining in her eyes.

8. You will have scars, and that’s fine. We all have them but it’s up to you if you want to hide them or show your battle wounds to the world so they know how strong of a warrior you are, so they know not to fuck with you.

9. Watch the sunrise, and watch the sunset. There is something about the sun that screams life; let the light bleed into you and consume you until you shine with it. Sometimes it’s the simple things we are missing in life that we need the most.

10. They will say they love you and then they will turn around and break your heart. You cannot compare your life’s worth to the empty spaces that were once filled around you. People will leave (willing or not) and life will go on. Let life go on.

11. If you are under the impression you are broken, then it is up to you to decide if you are or not. It took me years to admit that I was never quite whole, but when I did it was the most freeing feeling ever. Brokenness does not take away from perfection, and you are the very definition of perfect.

12. It’s okay to let people in, you don’t need to cage yourself away from the rest of the world, don’t forget to live your life while you pursue safeness.

13. Hobbies will save you when all else fails you, find a hobby and stick to it. When the world feels all too loud, a hobby can make you go deaf.

14. The moment you realize Wonder Woman or any other superhero you idolized as a child is not going to swoop down and save you is when your life changes. You have to be your own hero in this world. Stop waiting for someone to save you and go save yourself.

15. They are gone, she took her own life and he died in a car crash and she died from cancer and he left. You cannot live your life counting how many people that held a piece of your heart vanished, I’m not saying to forget about them I’m just saying that it’s okay to say goodbye.  

16. It’s okay to cry; cry in the shower and in bed and in your car, being sad is okay as long as you don’t let it consume you.

17. Smile as much as you can even on the bad days.

18. For God’s sake, don’t let them ruin you. You are so strong, you’ve made it this far and that means you can make it another day. If you can get through today you can get through tomorrow and every day that follows. If you feel like you can’t get through the day then sit down and don’t move until the light is peaking in through your window.

19. Never say never. If you think you can’t do something try anyway, this is your life, you are the main character of your own story, but you are also the author of your story. Write it however you want, but don’t give up halfway through.

20. Just don’t take your life. While this is something I learned this year I’m also writing this as a reminder to myself and to you. Don’t do it, please. There can be more to life than what you are feeling right now, don’t rob yourself of the beauty of this world. Don’t give up, no matter how much it hurts.
—  An open letter to myself, and to you. (Sometimes I write until I run out of words) ALightLitInTheDark

me talking about myself:

▶ 🔘──────── 00:00

me talking about how kind and considerate jimin is despite the fact that he cannot be kind to himself and how he always goes out of his way to ensure that everybody else is feeling okay and he deserves so much happiness, and i hope one day he can be as loving to himself as he is to others:

▶ 🔘──────── 74:52

When one day you look back and feel lonely, when all your struggles come crushing you down, when you want someone to listen to your silent pleas, and you want a hug and find no one to hug you, find me. I’ll be staying alive in the dreams you have before you sleep. And if there comes a day when you cannot reach me in your dreams, look for me. That’s when I’m drowning on my own struggles, that’s when I want someone to listen to me and hug me and tell me everything’s going to be okay. That’s when I need you most.
—  cynthia go // Look for me
the blue notebooks

time travel au

pairing: jimin | reader
genre: fluff, angst
word count: 8.575
warnings: none
author’s note: this story will have a sequel since there is much, much more I want to tell, but I wanted to keep it under 10k and I figured this part worked well as a standalone. please enjoy :)


You meet Park Jimin after a particularly rough landing.

You wish time traveling was as easy as the books like to describe, or as beautifully romantic as the movies depict. It is a concept that’s been overly embroidered with advantages that do not exist — and even if normal humans see it as a fortuitous skill, one they long to have, they rarely realize that having a normal life is out of the question for your kind. Even so, there is no point in wishing for something that won’t happen in this lifetime, not with the time traveling genes burning strong within your veins.

Keep reading

This photo is going around on the internet right now, like some cheap meme with the caption “Here’s a photo for all those upset about the Muslim ban.“ I was compelled to write a response. I know this is a tumblr for Pokemon GO and I’ve tried my best for these months to keep posting fun things about this fandom but I cannot stay silent. I am sorry for the deviation from the norm you have all come to expect from me, but this I cannot abide. This is my message:

My father worked at the World Trade Centers from 1998-2001. He survived that day because he took me to school that morning when I was in my third or fourth day of 6th grade. This isn’t about my father, though, because he can tell his story in his own way when he feels it is appropriate. I will explain my own story.

I had been pulled out of class that morning. They didn’t tell me what had happened, just assuring my 11 year old self that my father was okay and that there was a fire at the World Trade Centers. I know they were lying. They couldn’t put me in touch with my father. I knew something was wrong. I knew about the 1993 bombings. I often wondered what would happen in the towers fell on the city, looking down on it from above, if such an attack were to happen again.

Sitting in the principals office I was filled with anger, sadness, disgust, loneliness, despair, anxiety, depression and chaos. My father might have been dead, killed by terrorist from a land I knew nothing about. I sat in that office for 45 minutes thinking nothing but that.

Then my mom came to get me. She told me my father was okay. Then I saw him. He was crying. We hugged. I told him that as long as he was okay I was okay. That made everything okay.

I had every right to be upset and vindictive against the muslim community because of the acts of an element of radical extremists attempting to murder my father. In fact some of my peers actually encouraged me to fill my hear with hate and anger, to put aside my childish wonder of the world and build walls in my heart to separate me from the muslim faith as a whole. The propaganda on television and the fact we were entering into two wars as retribution for September Eleventh didn’t help.

But I couldn’t do it. Something inside of me wanted to answer the burning question of “why?”. So I did some research in the middle school computer lab and very quickly found my answer. There is a large contingent of radical terrorists, of every nation and faith, that are drawn to the cause because they have no other options. I read that a suicide bomber in Iraq was paid $20,000 to carry out his attack. This money was needed for his family to pay for shelter, electricity, food, water, security and heat. The basic essentials that allow us to be human and not think with hate and sadness but rather with compassion and understanding. The people in Afghanistan, in the mountainous regions, join extremist groups because they have no resources to sustain their life.

That was when I learned about the concept of ‘sustainability’. The Brundtland Report in 1987 defined sustainability loosely as any action that leaves the world in a better or same state as the way you came into it. I decided at that point, as a 12 year old, to not fight the extremists with a gun, but rather to help get the muslim community the essentials they need so they never have to feel like terrorism is the only way to support themselves, their family or have their message heard.

Islamic extremists tried to kill my family. I do not hate the muslim community. I am a vocal opponent of the muslim ban, registry or oppression. All people no matter what race, creed, nationality, faith, background, color, gender, sex, identification, whatever deserve to be treated as human beings. Because thats what we all are when you get down to it. We are humans, of many glorious and wonderful backgrounds and interests, that should work together rather than divide ourselves. We are one species no matter what you look like or sound like. The blood that runs through my veins runs through the veins of the man in Iraq, Afghanistan, Turkey, Somalia, France, Russia, China, North Korea, everywhere.

We are a nation that has a proud history of accepting people of all backgrounds. I am German. If this ideology had been pervasive in the 1930-40s then wouldn’t I have been held accountable for the actions of the Nazi’s in the same way that people of the muslim faith are persecuted for the actions of the extremists? I have muslim friends. If I can not hate them, can you try to exercise a little empathy for the innocent people caught up in this?

I will leave you with a couple of quotes for thought:

“In these days of difficulty, we Americans everywhere must and shall choose the path of social justice…the path of faith, the path of hope, and the path of love toward our fellow man.” - Franklin Roosevelt

“Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, the wretched refuse of your teeming shore. Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me, I lift my lamp beside the golden door!” - Statue of Liberty

Love always. Reject hate. Be compassionate. Be empathetic. Love thy neighbor. Protect the innocent. Fight for the oppressed. Crush evil. Be vigilant. Be strong. Be good.

I love you all. Remember that, always.

- T 


Virgil Finds Solace in Logan & Logan Rips His Heart Out - A Post I’m Surprised I Haven’t Made Yet

SO GUYS. IN THE Q&A VIDEO VIRGIL SAYS THIS.

BC ANXIETY IS IRRATIONAL AND LOGIC IS RATIONAL. OF COURSE VIRGIL WOULD FIND COMFORT IN LOGAN. LOGAN GROUNDS HIM. LOGAN KEEPS HIM IN CHECK. LOGAN USES REASONING TO EXPLAIN WHY VIRGIL’S FEARS AREN’T LOGICAL AND THEREFORE CANNOT HURT HIM. LOGAN IS HIS SAFE SPACE.

BUT THEN. OH BUT THEN. YA’LL KNOW WHAT’S COMING. LITERALLY IN THE VIDEO AFTER THAT LOGAN, THIS MOTHERFUCKER (that i still love with all my heart i promise), FUCKING R I P S VIRGIL’S HEART OUT AND NO ONE EVEN CARES

DO YOU SEE THE REALIZATION & HEARTBREAK ON HIS FACE? DO YOU? BC I CERTAINLY DO AND I HAVEN’T BEEN OKAY SINCE I FIRST WATCHED THIS. THEY ACCEPTED HIM AND THINGS ARE BETTER BUT IM STILL NOT OVER IT.

LOGIC. ANXIETY’S LEFT BRAIN BUDDY, THE ONE HE FEELS COMFORTABLE AROUND, IMPLIED THAT HE’S ALWAYS READY FOR FAILURE BECAUSE THAT’S ALL HE KNOWS. LOGAN IMPLIED THAT HE’S A USELESS FUCK UP. THEY’RE BOTH LEFT BRAIN. IRRATIONAL AND RATIONAL. THEY’RE SUPPOSED TO UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER MORE AND WORK TOGETHER. BUT NO. LOGAN BREAKS HIS FRAGILE HEART AND DOESN’T CARE.

Originally posted by thatherohair

Writing Advice For The Rest Of Us

This post is my message to everyone else who also reads a lot of writing advice lists and feels frustrated and broken as a writer because so much of the near-universal advice doesn’t seem to work. 

1. Don’t write if you don’t feel like writing. Some writers thrive on forcing themselves to crank out words they hate. Uh, bully for them? Every time I try to write when I don’t feel like writing, I end up not only deleting all the crap I spew but also staying in a don’t-wanna-write mood for a lot longer than normal. If forcing the words doesn’t work for you, don’t do it. Give yourself time.

2. Editing before you start writing is fine. “Don’t do it!” they holler. “Make new words, don’t get stuck rewriting forever!” Fuck you, Hemingway reread every time he wrote and so can I. Even if you do wind up editing the whole time and not writing any new words, so what? Improving what you’ve got is perfectly worthwhile.

3. It’s okay to be a perfectionist. Sometimes it takes an hour to write a sentence. That is fine. Wordcount is not the end-all be-all of productivity; quality matters too. The “your first draft is just gonna be shitty, accept it” attitude doesn’t work for everyone.

4. Procrastination is good. Man, I seriously cannot tell you how much less stressful writing has become since I decided procrastination was a crucial part of my process and stopped feeling guilty about it. It gives you time to work through things subconsciously, and sometimes you get a whole lot of housework done in the process. Or a whole lot of Netflix-watching. Whatever. It’s okay. You’re okay.

5. Writing advice is a pile of bullshit. Yep, even this writing advice. The only writing advice you should really listen to is the stuff that comes from people who know you and your style and your flaws well. Everything else is a suggestion, and anyone who thinks their advice is a magical exception that applies to every writer is not worth your time.

You are not alone, and you are not broken, and you are not a bad writer just because your process is different from others. Hang in there.