okay but Ninoir where Adrien is absolutely CONVINCED that he CANNOT come out as Adrien Agreste and terrified of what his dad would think, but where it doesn’t matter what anyone thinks if Chat NOIR flirts with anything that moves, right? Ladybug doesn’t take him seriously anyway, and it’d be nice to … well. He’s fifteen, okay, he’d like to maybe get to kiss somebody eventually. And, like … STUFF.
So Very Bisexual Chat Noir flirts with literally everyone he finds even REMOTELY attractive: Ladybug, Marinette, Alya, various akuma–hell, he could even flirt with NINO if he wanted, he realizes when the opportunity presents itself; what’s stopping him? Father will never know. He doesn’t even have to tell his friends. It’s safe. And it’s just a little harmless flirting, it’s not like it’s even that big a deal.
(it is a very big deal. it is the HUGEST deal. ADRIEN IS NOT PREPARED FOR THE LEVEL OF DEAL IT IS ABOUT TO BE.)
So Chat Noir lays a line on Nino Lahiffe.
And Nino Lahiffe, unlike all previous contenders, is sincerely and genuinely INTO IT. He gets this crooked grin on his face and leans into Chat’s space and is like “oh yeah? tell me more, tiger”.
And Chat FUCKING PANICS and stammers all over himself and Nino kind of laughs a little and then it’s like “omg I’ve been CHALLENGED” and Chat just goes Full Fucking Tomcat and anyway basically the next two hours is a very long game of Gay Chicken but the people playing are actually super attracted to each other and also neither actually wants to stop and then wham bam Chat Noir suddenly has a boyfriend.
Chat Noir has a boyfriend. Who he has to see every day in class. And sit next to. And be best friends with. And NOT BE BOYFRIEND-LY TO.
… mistakes were made.
“And bro, he is SO hot, I cannot even explain how hot he is unless you’ve seen him up close and personal, it’s ridiculous. And also he BLUSHES like a PEACH and is so easy to fluster and somehow that makes him EVEN HOTTER?” Nino rhapsodizes over lunch while Adrien nods along like a good and supportive and VERY PLATONIC friend, staring past Nino’s shoulder and internally sCREAMING the whole time.
(aka the story of how Nino gets catnapped off the sidewalk literally fifteen seconds after school lets out and is like “not that I’m not into this but actually I had plans with my buddy Adrien this afternoon” and Chat is like “I’M SURE HE’LL UNDERSTAND”)