oh darling i have coloured blood (that i stole from you)
A/N: so this is for deadgwen & deadparker, who have, by some freak accident, let me into their squad. honestly, these are two of the most blazing, brilliant girls ive ever talked to in the history of ever. mils, andy, i simply adore you. sorry for this and its overwhelming shittiness
He is rather like God, if God had psycho hair and pointy
elbows. And a back where she can see all of the knobs of his spine, covered in
pale skin. And if God had an annoying habit of clicking his tongue. He isn’t
like God at all actually, now that she thinks about it. Don’t tell him she said
that, he’ll be a shit about it.
They met in uni.
She’s dancing on the bar because she’s drunk and has only
recently realised she’s falling apart because she’s too small for her life. He
joins her because he’s pissed and his mates are cheering him on. The whole thing
is a red and gold mess in her mind, one minute she’s flailing alone, and the
next he’s covering every space.
They end up getting kicked out and his mates collapse on a
park bench with her in tow. The one called Sirius throws his arm around her
shoulders and calls her ‘a red empire’. She doesn’t know what that is but she
falls in love with it anyway, so she doesn’t care that he throws up on her two
minutes later. Remus falls of the park bench and takes Peter with him, landing
hard on the gravel. The one who danced with her on the bar- James- pulls her
hair and takes off his shoes for no reason before they all fall asleep in the
middle of a park on a park bench, jumbled together. When she wakes up she’s
forgotten all their names, but they shout her breakfast at the diner across the
road so it doesn’t really matter.
They end up meeting at the bar the very next week and
getting horrifically drunk in the exact same fashion, except this time she
wasn’t dancing on the bar but singing poorly into an empty vodka bottle while
Remus and Sirius gave her a standing ovation. Peter finds the keys to her
apartment and they all collapse inside, falling asleep on her hallway runner.
She wakes up with James’s elbow in her mouth, Sirius’s foot up her arse and twenty
minutes late her first lecture. She swears, and Remus looks up and sneezes in
her face. Sirius is laughing so hard he decides ‘not to go the class because he
won’t see anything better than that all day’.
That is how they begin, drinking and dancing and singing and
falling asleep in inappropriate places. And then they figure out they can just
get drunk at her apartment because it’s cheaper and they can destroy a lot more
property. Peter makes eggs in her
microwave and Sirius eats them all while Peter’s in the bathroom. Remus plays
darts except the darts are her forks and the target is her exam schedule pinned
to the wall. Her roommate, Anna, does not appreciate the holes in the wall when
she gets home, but Remus keeps doing it. James drinks milk straight from the
carton and while his head is tipped back Sirius slaps the bottom of the carton and
milk goes everywhere. James threatens to sue while Peter yells from the couch that
he deserved it for drinking out of the carton in the first place like an animal.
James lies on her couch and when she gets back from her chemical
reactions lecture and launches into an in depth analysis about the Jeremy Kyle
episode he’s just spent all day watching on her television. Then Sirius wanders
in and says his family should go on that show. Remus appears and then Peter and
suddenly they’re all in her apartment and into her clothes and into her hair. They’re
everywhere, seeping in through her like rain covered clothes, sticking to her
skin. They’re remarkably with easy to like, these boys. They are just
remarkable in general.
She makes Remus run through her chemistry flashcards while she’s
prepping for the quiz in the morning, and by the afternoon he’s taken all her
notes and immersed himself in piles upon piles of chemistry notes because he
wanted to understand what he was quizzing her on. This is possibly the weirdest
thing anyone has ever done, due to the fact that Remus is a law student who doesn’t
even take chemistry but she goes with it because all these boys are insane.
James tells her that he hates chemistry because it’s science and science is ‘the
most boring thing on the planet ever and that includes Pete’s stories about his
damn ukulele.’ She tells him that he looks like a frog with hair and glasses. Sirius
high-fives her from where he’s lying flat on her coffee table.
James is around most often actually, spreading his art
history papers across her coffee table and chewing on the tips of pencils. She
has a theory that this will turn his brain green, and tells him. He takes the
pencil out of his mouth and throws it at her. He spends a lot of time talking
staring at paintings full of colour, and she adores them, these chunks of
colour that don’t have shape but feeling instead. James calls it lazy, he says:
‘Lily, it’s not hard to paint a bunch of colours. It’s a lot more difficult to
paint a person or a landscape, that’s real art’
She’s looking at the painting when she says: ‘maybe. But I
think it’s a lot harder to capture a feeling than a concrete thing’
She looks up and finds him sort of looking at her weird, so
she picks up the discarded pencil and throws it at his head. Part of the reason
why she likes the paintings is because they remind her of why she actual became
interested in chemistry in the first place, all of the colours the final
reactions made. She’s didn’t give a shit about particle bonds or isotopes; she
just had a thing for grey smoke and fluorescent liquids that spilt over the edges
of glass cylinders. But naturally when she says this out loud Sirius just says ‘Lil
has a hard-on for colours’, and goes back to eating her chips.
Anna starts labelling the food in the fridge with the label
maker she stole from her mother, in retaliation Sirius and Peter write ‘FOOD IS SHARED PROPRETY’
underneath every label in sharpie. When Remus points out that food is
technically not shared property, he is shouted down. James decides they need to
go clubbing, so she puts on her tallest pair of shoes and so much lipstick its
almost weighing her face down. They crowd the dance floor and she swears she
can see some sort of point to all of this crap in the pounding lights, but it was
just the reflection of Remus’s watch, so she drinks more and shakes her head when
she dances like it might make her brain disconnect from its wires so she can
stop thinking. She ends up screaming down the street perched on Sirius’s back
as he runs, the others sprinting behind them laughing so loud that dogs start
barking. She feels as if she is a moment that will ether make or break her
life, so she screams to and grins at James when he runs next to her, all white
teeth and luminous heart.
It’s rather strange because when she was in high school she couldn’t
wait to get out and see the world, she wanted to go to university, study chem,
then graduate and move to a city big enough that no one would know her name. But
now she’s in university and everything is so much bigger than in the pictures,
she feels lost in all of this space. She doesn’t say it out loud but she feels
like they may already know, it’s in the way Remus kisses her forehead when he
leaves sometimes, or how Peter throws her an apple for breakfast, when Sirius
calls her ‘Lilium’ or when she’s leaning on James’s shoulder and can feel his
heartbeat through his shirt.
Anna moves out at the start of the next month because she’s ‘sick
of all of your boys hanging around and stealing my food’. Peter offers her the
half-empty bag of cheerio’s he’s eating just before she goes and she rolls her
eyes, utterly disgusted. Sirius and James move in to cover rent and Peter says
that he would move in, but his mum really needs him at the house. This then
means that everyone has to tease Peter about still living at home, and Anna
drives away unnoticed while James and Remus prance around pretending to be
Peter and saying things like ‘Mummy dearest’. Later, when Remus is back in the
dorms, Peter is back with ‘Mummy dearest’ and Sirius has passed out cold on the
couch on account of trying to chug a whole carton of chocolate milk, James
helps her pack up the kitchen. She sits on the bench passing things for him to
put in the higher cupboards and feels so lucky to know him when he is this
exact person. This exact person who makes her laugh and watches Jeremy Kyle and
helps her pack up her kitchen at one thirty in the morning. She feels something
twist in her stomach when she looks at him, but doesn’t quite know what it
James’s starts painting his final art project and Remus goes
nuts about exams. He sees any minute where he isn’t revising as a minute
wasted, carting around heavy law books and calling Sirius ‘an accident of the
highest proportion’ when he hides his flashcards. Peter is doing a travel and tourism
degree, and sees watching the travel channel as ‘studying’. In the middle of it
all she turns twenty-one, and they throw her a party with cake and lots of
games of darts. She refuses to allow them to get her gifts because she doesn’t need
any more crap in her flat, but when goes upstairs to find a bundle of white
lily’s with the note ‘shut up and accept
my shitty gift Lilium’ stapled to one of the leaves. She sits on her bed
for a minute grinning, because Sirius Black has the loveliest heart she’s ever
seen. She goes downstairs and kisses his cheek firmly, he smiles.
James paints and paints and paints on his enormous final
project for hours on end and she notices that he isn’t drawing a concrete image
exactly. It’s almost a hazy outline of a desk with lots of colour piled on top
of it, as if colour is laundry. She makes jelly and sits on the ground cross-legged
watching him paint, spooning purple jelly straight from the huge glass bowl
into her mouth. She is almost in love with him at this point, but has no idea
about what to do about it. So she just keeps eating jelly and hoping that she
can be alive in every room he is alive in for the rest of her life.
And the year is almost over, and everyone has passed exams,
and she’s not dead. She tells this to Sirius and he congratulates her on this
fact, then he spins her around by her waist and yells at her ceiling about how
they are: ‘NOT ALL DEAD FUCK YEAH’. James finishes his final project and it
turns out to be a hazy porcelain desk piled with glass beakers that each have
different coloured liquids in them, all with varying degrees of smoke pouring
out. The colours are so bright that it looks like someone has just cut a glow
stick in half and poured into each beaker, then breathed white-silver smoke all
over it. The entire thing is a white haze of colour that is so bright it could
direct ships in the dark. It’s the most beautiful thing she’s ever seen, it’s
her dream chemists lab. James has painted her dream chemist lab full of glass
beakers and silver smoke, and he’s written ‘LIL HAS A HARD ON FOR COLOURS’ in
the bottom right hand corner.
She sees it, lying on the ground in the living room when the
paint is still wet, then marches into the bathroom where he is cleaning his
‘I am going to kiss you now’ she says, and then she does because
she isn’t a liar.
And she’s kissing him against the overflowing sink and he’s laughing.
And she’s kissing his laughter and it tastes better than anything in her whole
life, in her whole atmosphere. There is nothing like kissing someone who is
laughing, it’s like you swallow their happiness and become different. She feels
herself shed her skin and become someone entirely apart from the person she was
in the living room.
And one day she will be forgotten and no one will remember
her name or how she walked or how she liked her eggs or which china pattern she
preferred or which neighbour’s cat she liked more when she was a kid but she
would have had this. She would have had her boys and colour and chemistry and ‘Jeremy
Kyle’ and this.
And, honest to god, she could live off this if she needed
to, she swears
EDIT: EDIT: Now with an illustration of Sera narrating this story.
Haven’s defenses are crumbling. The pretender is fighting, trying desperately to save a battle that is already lost. They call her the Herald of Andraste… how quaint. Her efforts are as empty as her title. He would seize Haven, then the Anchor, and then the world.
Riding astride his dragon, Coryphytits descends upon the pitiful remains of Haven. He leaps from the beast and lands in the snow heavily, a wreath of fire the augur of his arrival. As he straightens, he sweeps his malevolent gaze across the ravaged village to find his prey. The Herald.
She is fighting off waves and waves of his minions. She battles like a woman possessed. Her face is a mask of determination, and is smeared with blood and soot. Her attacks arc through the air with grace and precision and—oh no… oh no she’s hot.
I cannot believe I have to witness with my own two eyes a “terf ally blog” with russia as their icon. Leave my poor boy alone why would you insult him like that.
Ivan would punch a terf into the floor.
|Imagine Castiel not wanting to leave you in purgatory|
“Cas you are going with Dean I don’t care if I’m left behind. I’ve lived here longer than you could imagine.” You said to Castiel as you hold him in your arms, your whole being had changed since arriving in purgatory, when you were killed by hunters you found yourself in here. Only recently had you felt human again with Castiel by your side you knew when they left, you would be hunted until your untimely second death but you were drawn to this strange band of men as soon as they arrived and you acted as there guide along with benny who would have killed you in any other situation. “No Y/N I cannot leave you alone here you will be killed for helping us.” Castiel said letting you go and you shrugged your shoulders and pulled your bag of arrows further onto your back, as you did this you felt your sleeves rise. Pulling them down hiding your battle wounds from Castiel you did want him to know how bad it was in here without protection, you didn’t want him to see how weak you had been in battle and in the safety of your own hiding places. “Castiel, that is a risk I am willing to take. You and Dean need to get back, you need to save people. Promise me you won’t turn into some broody angel when you get back, or I will find a way out of this place just so I can kick your butt.” You laugh at him, you had tried your hardest to not cry over the past few days, you didn’t want to lose the people you now saw as friends but you knew that they had to go and you knew that you couldn’t follow. “I still don’t see why you can’t come.” Castiel says and you shook my head. “Castiel I don’t deserve to be saved I did terrible things before you got here. I should suffer.” You said looking at your feet you hated what you had to do to survive but you knew that it had been key. It had been a what seemed like forever since Dean and Benny left but you was happy because for some reason that he refused to disclose Cas stayed with you and although you had wished him to go you were happy he did, because you were happy to have company, happy to still be human, still have hope. Still have Castiel. You walk off around your base that both of you had been living in it had been a few weeks now since the last leviathan attack and you knew that you still had to be on guard for them. Castiel had gone to the river to collect some water as you was beginning to look like shit, you was covered in filth, grime and blood and that was not pleasant. You waited as it began to get darker in purgatory, you worried as you sat in your cave dwelling, the floor was covered in scraps of clothing you had salvaged and, several weapons lay around well hidden in the mess the den had become. You felt your eyes begin to close as you hear a distant howl. Waking up light steamed in through the cracks in the rock and you shot up to find that Castiel still was not beside you, you panicked as your angel had become your security blanket. You jumped out of your hovel and you ran to the water front your bow and arrows close by as you got to the steam. You saw the almost bucket that you had managed to carve out of wood laying strangely next to a pile of what looked like clothing although you knew too well what looks to of happen, you walk over to the cloth and pick it up finding the clothing that Castiel had worn. Slipping your hand into the pocket of his trench coat you found a picture that looked like it hand been handled to much it was of Castiel, Dean and a group of other people one of whom was in a wheelchair ,you slipped it into the pocket of your trousers, you walked back to you home placing the picture of Castiel next to where you slept you began to carve the shaft of another arrow. You woke up to someone talking outside of your base, you aimed your arrow out of your Cave and slowly left to see three men, one turned his head to you, He was stood above a dead body and you aimed at his head firing but he caught your flying arrow and snapped it in half. “Don’t bother love.” He said and you began to hyperventilate you were scared of this man and you didn’t know why but as the other two men turned to you the one who spoke disappeared. “You know Castiel.” You say remembering the photo that you carried with you at all times. “Yes, we know him, do you know how to get out of here?” They asked and you nodded and began to escort them to the portal firing an arrow often at the people lurking in the darkness. “Is he okay, did he get out, is he alive?” You question dying to know about the man that you had fallen in love with. “Yes, would you happen to be Y/N?” The taller man asked and you nodded your head. “Yes both Cas and Dean have said how much that you helped them stay alive in here. So Y/N I have to thank you for that.” The man said “Well if it’s okay can I know your names, I mean I have seen you before. Cas dropped this when he left.” you say taking the picture out of you jacket pocket , you wiped off some dirt and them gave it to the men and they smiled at the slightly damaged photo. “Take it with you if you want.” You say although you instantly regretted it when you realised you wouldn’t get through the portal again so there was no chance of meeting Castiel again. You fired an arrow again this time hitting a vampire between the eyes. “Thank you Y/N, I’m Sam and this is Bobby.” You smile at them and I see the portal up ahead. “Will you tell Cas that I miss him and I’m glad he’s okay.” You asked and the tallest man nodded as the portal opened before them. “Tell him…” You say as they begin to walk to the blue pulsating light. “Tell him that I love him and…” You start to tell them but you are grabbed by something and you see a pair of glowing eyes, Looking back once more as the portal clothes you feel blood pouring from an open wound in your leg.