i cannot handle this shit no

What’s with so many people on Tumblr being so fucking excessive and exaggerating everything to shitting hell?

Like they’ll see a simple gif of a dog bumping into a wall and be like “OH MY GOD IM DYING LIKE LITERALLY CANNOT BREATHE RIGHT NOW JFC MY BRAIN CANNOT HANDLE SO MUCH ASDFFGJJL”

I mean, I’m glad you’re all enjoying yourselves, but if you could just take it down about 10 notches, that’d be really awesome and dandy as fuck

jikook @ isac last year: hey everyone *blushes* we’re gay

vmin @ isac 2017: bITCHES WE GAY AS FUCK I WILL SPANK JIMIN RIGHT HERE 

(this is probably gonna be a long oneshot and once there’s more it’ll be on ao3 but for now, let me know what you think?)

There are things that Kent can handle, and then there are things that Kent cannot, under any circumstances, in any universe, even begin to handle.

As it turns out, watching Jack Zimmermann, Alexei Mashkov, Randall Robinson, and Sebastian St. Martin attempt to build a deck is one of the things that he can’t handle, because holy fucking shit.

It’s about a million degrees out, and they’re all shirtless and covered in sweat and, yeah, it’s the off season, but they’re still professional fucking hockey players, for fucks sake, and Kent realizes then and there that accepting the invitation to spend the week at Jack and Bitty’s new cottage was definitely a mistake because, really.

Except for Mashkov, everybody brought their families, and they’re all friends, and they’re all teammates, and Kent is 99% sure that his invite was a pity one prompted by the Aces losing the Stanley Cup in game seven against the Stars, and he can’t help but feel like he doesn’t belong there at all, and he can’t help but think it’s because he doesn’t.

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Pentagon To You Being Short And Trying To Kiss Them

Jinho: Honestly you are the same height as Jinho and you two kiss without struggle. And small kisses will take place anywhere and everywhere where he will hold your waist every single time he kisses you- and it looks so precious and cute to everybody because u both look like puppies. 

  Hui: Will grin and sort of fanboy alittle because you are precious to him as edawn. Doesnt hesitate to lean down to kiss you but sometimes will playfully pull back before you do plant one on him which you will of course end up either smacking him or not giving him one. “I was jokinggg give me a kiss.“ 

Hongseok: Cannot handle the precious and adorable thing in this world which is you and cannot believe you are his. Will most likely pull you in for a bear hug out of excitement and lean in to kiss your lips- then your nose and forehead and cheek(back and forth several times)basically love the shit out of u

 Edawn: You’d only a be a slight bit shorter than him since he himself isn’t tall so he’d make u try your best to kiss him as he looks down at you with a playful smile. ”You’re so close, these lips are waiting for you.“ You end up charging into the kiss and pressing your lips on his too hard. he will pull back all stunned and laughing like. ”Did you do that on purpose??“

 Yeo-one: ”You’re so cute.“ He will say as he grins, then holding you firmly by the waist and bending down to kiss you slowly but softly, pulling his face back afterwards only a slight bit so he can stare at you lovingly. 

 Shinwon: This boy is so rude, he will wiggle his eyebrows teasingly as he freaking tiptoes himself to get even taller. ”Catch these lips.“ ”Forreal you are an idiot shinwon.“ Afterwards will attack you in a hug as he kisses you right away, his arms all the way around your body, pulling you in as close as possible. 

 Kino: OKAY i wouldnt say hed do the most and kneel for you to just kiss him but Im saying he might kneel for you to just to kiss him. If you were sitting on a bench at an amusement park he will get down on one knee to fix your shoelaces and then look up and make eye contact along with a sweet ass smile of his, sending you signals that he wants you to lean in and kiss him (which you do).

 Yanan: Makes his signature baby shy smile as he has his hand in his coat pocket (with your hand in there as well for warmth) and lean down to let you kiss him (cuz there aint no way he brave enough to initiate it). Eyes closed but smiling into the kiss. 

 Yuto: Damn boy is really soft but when in public with you he gets these surge of manliness, wanting to impress you and people around him so he kind of has his arm around your neck almost into a headlock to initiate the quick kiss. You pull back all stunned like what just happened, with Yuto standing there like ‘I did that' 

Wooseok: Type to pick you up and have you wrap your legs around his waist and arms around his neck as he gives you small kisses 5 thousands times. Ends up giggling and spinning until you forcefully get down off of him yourself.

 When will the storyline of April being inferior to everyone else end? April is more than qualified for this position. She is a talented surgeon who knows her damn shit. Why do people still think that April got that position because Catherine wanted to start shit? AND JACKSON FUCK YOU FOR THAT! April always defends everyone and gives them a chance? But no one even tried to understand her perspective. I am so happy at how she handled Arizona, Maggie and Jackson, those three are FUCKING cancelled until further notice. APRIL IS A  MOTHERFUCKING BADASS! We are in for a rough couple of episodes Japril fans. I still cannot believe Jackson does not recognize April’s abilities as a surgeon. And When April said to Jackson “And you told them they’re wrong right? Because you know me and you know better right?” I wanted to cry. The one person April thought would have her back was Jackson. And he turned out being a certified asshole.

Dazatsu Week Day 3 (Mafia AU)

Akutagawa couldn’t understand Dazai.  

This didn’t mean he wasn’t grateful to the guy. The older man saved him and his sister from dying on the streets from both thugs and starvation…not that they actually needed it. Akutagawa and Gin could perfectly handle things on their own. It’s just that they have a much more stable income and residence now thanks to the Armed Detective Agency. It didn’t hurt that Dazai’s now kind of mentoring him on how to control and use his ability properly.

But Akutagawa just didn’t get the brunet man. He always had this carefree mask on him. He seemed to know and understand too much, and wouldn’t open up about anything about his past (not that Akutagawa ever tried to pry).

All Akutagawa knew that he was a suicidal maniac that wasted too many bandages, had a ridiculously useful power to nullify any ability, is a huge flirt, and was unhealthily obsessed with songs about double suicide.

But the strangest part about him, despite all the proclamations and attempts and songs and jokes about suicide, is that Dazai refuses to die.

It was the strangest thought about the older man, but it was the only thing that made sense.

“Hey,” Akutagawa says one day while walking back home from a mission. “Why aren’t you dead already?”

He and Dazai just took care of an uprising gang made up of some ability users that was stirring a little bit too much trouble in the back alleys of Yokohama. It was a complete cakewalk with Akutagawa’s Rashoumon and Dazai’s No Longer Human that it was almost laughable.

Now they were walking back to the agency’s building for a job well done and reports to deliver, with the sun setting over the horizon and painting the sky in colors Akutagawa gained a new appreciation for.

“Oi! That’s mean of you to say, Akutagawa!” Dazai grabbed his heart in fake hurt with that mysterious smile of his, never once looking at him as he stared up at the sky. “That really hurts you know! How can you say that to your senpai?”

“With all your ranting about double suicide, it even makes me wonder,” he coughed a bit into his hand before continuing, “Despite what you say, you’re barely trying to kill yourself. There are a lot of incidents here and there, but none of them serious enough for you to die for sure. And if you really wanted to commit double suicide with someone, you would search up some suicide partner on the internet instead of asking any random girl available.”

“But are there any beautiful women online who’d commit double suicide with me?” Dazai asked dramatically.

“You’d be bound to find one,” Akutagawa pointed out.

“Touché.”

“You should be dead right now,” the sickly man looked at him. “But you’re not. So why?”

His mentor let out a long suffering sigh and had this look on his face Akutagawa couldn’t really figure out. “I’m waiting for someone.”

Dazai didn’t explain any further so Akutagawa didn’t attempt to pry any further. That answer was the more than anything he had got so far, so it was enough right now. Akutagawa thought he understood Dazai a bit better now.

Though he wished he could understand why Dazai always stared at the yellow-purple sunset with this wistful look on his face.

The first thing he saw was a flash of bright sunset colored eyes.

Akutagawa was barely able to throw up a shield using Rashoumon in time to block a giant bundle of white fur and sharp teeth and claws ramming into him.

He stared at the sharp claws and impassive eyes that flashed red of the tiger that launched at him and quickly threw the beast back.

He couldn’t believe that a fucking white tiger tried to attack him in broad daylight.

Akutagawa made his cloak flare up as intimidatingly as possible, trying to scare away the tiger but the tiger only strutted around him gracefully, looking a bit curious as it never took its red eyes off of him.

And the tiger pounced.

The two of them clashed, again and again, large feline claws against blood thirsty space eating cloth. And yet, the tiger was able to keep up with him.
In fact, it was slowly becoming stronger and faster, as if playing around with him and testing what Akutagawa could do; that was worrying.

Akutagawa knew he couldn’t keep up much more and tried to finish off the beast with a single blow as it leaped at him.

And the white tiger ripped through Rashoumon.

Akutagawa gasped as he felt the wind get knocked out of him and onto the ground, coughing uncontrollably as he stared at the tiger.

He stared at it disbelievingly as it readied itself. This tiger was no ordinary beast.

He put all his effort and strength into one last attack and the beast leaped at him.

“Enough.”

Akutagawa felt his power dispel oh so familiarly as he saw the telltale sign of Dazai using his ability on him…and the tiger?

He saw Dazai’s back facing as the huge tiger dispelled into…a boy around his age?

Dazai caught the boy and held him gently to his chest as he floated down gently like something out of a fairytale.

Akutagawa felt annoyed. The last time Dazai caught a guy in his arms was when Akutagawa fell that one time and Dazai caught him before just tossing him aside casually as he said ‘I make it no hobby to embrace men.’ What the fuck was this then?

“Atsushi?” Dazai’s voice was filled with so much emotion that Akutagawa couldn’t believe his own ears.

“D…D-Dazai-san…?” the boy’s voice (he assumed at least), was hoarse and quiet as if he hasn’t used it in years.

Akutagawa couldn’t help but stare awkwardly at the two’s touching reunion as he questioned his sanity and reality itself.

When Dazai kissed the top of the boy’s head, Akutagawa couldn’t help but gag out loud.

Their little bubble of cuddly teary reunions was popped and the boy hugged the brunet tightly, presumably embarrassed, and Dazai just looked nonchalant.

“What?” Dazai raised an eyebrow at Akutagawa.

“Oh I’m so sorry,” the exasperated man’s voice was dripping with sarcasm, “But can someone explain what the fuck is going on?”

“Language, Akutagawa,” Dazai chided, keeping a light tone, “What’s there to explain? I’m just having a touching reunion with my partner.”

“Who just tried to kill me a minute ago!” Akutagawa growled.

Wait, partner?

“Oh I’m sure he didn’t know you were my subordinate,” Dazai waved it off, “It’s been years after all. But it’s all a misunderstanding, right Atsushi-kun?”

The boy peeked above Dazai’s shoulder almost shyly, before standing up and bowing slightly.

He had pale skin, almost as pale as Akutagawa’s. His hair was silver with a black streak through them and in a ridiculous choppy and uneven hairstyle. He wore ripped up black dress shirt rolled up to the sleeves, black scraped up pants, black dress shoes and for some reason thought it was a good idea to pair suspenders and a stupidly long belt that almost looked like a tail.
Though the most notable detail about the boy, (Atsushi, Akutagawa remembered what Dazai called him), was his eyes. His eyes were a bright yellow-purple color, so reminiscent of the sunset Dazai always stared so faithfully at before they flickered to a deep bloody red.

“Akutagawa, this is Atsushi-kun, my partner!” Dazai introduced them cheerfully, "Atsushi-kun, this is my new subordinate, Akutagawa!“

“Subordinate…?” Akutagawa swore ‘Atsushi-kun’ growled darkly while somehow maintaining a stoic face.

“Yep!” Dazai nodded, before taking a teasing tone of voice, “Can you take it? My new subordinate is much better than you~!”

Akutagawa swore he was going to kill Dazai as he somehow held his ground against Atsushi’s murderous glare.

“So get along, you two, okay?” the brunet smiled cheerfully and gestured to them.

Akutagawa sighed and stepped forward towards Dazai’s partner. “Er…nice to meet you…’

Atsushi leaned in with this scary look in his eyes, with his voice dark and dripping with this emotion that screamed jealousy.

"Die.”

The sickly man glared back. No way was he going to be intimidated by his mentor’s partner.

“Bring it on, jinko.”

Sugar Investments

So, after today’s ask about expenses I wanted to tell y’all how I’ve been handling my financing.

When I first started sugaring I only had my basic needs like clothes, some makeup from mom and shit. I often felt bad for being an adult woman who works her ass off and still can’ t afford to look good because my money was all tied up to school. Looking at where I am today I cannot say that I drape my body in designer items but at least I am way way better than the point I started.

Clothes: I built myself a whole closet. I literally had 2 jeans, 5 tshirts 3 shoes 5 panties 2 bras etc. Now I have extra extra of everything, not all designer stuff but that’s not the point. I wrote in one of my posts that I have the luxury of skipping laundry if I want to and I won’t be running out of clothes. I have variety even though I still lack at sugaring attire (I have limited amount of them) And my man bought me most of that shit. I could still have more stuff because it’s still a very small closet compared to girls I know but I’m thankful and I love it.

Beauty: I was using my mom’s make up. Now I have a HUGE makeup bag full of items varying from high end to mid range. Plus, I have shit ton of beauty creams, serums, face wash, masks and really almost 2-3 of everything. Summer/winter day/night versions. My hair is better kept. I would try to delay my haircut date as much as possible and now I can afford to visit saloon whenever I please. I go for my nails, waxing and pedi regularly and I don’t even need to think twice. My man bought most of my makeup and skincare. Hair nails etc go out of my pocket. I even get to spoil myself to spa once every month and if he’s around he just takes care of it for me. Also, I am getting my botox done soon. 

Electronics: I didn’t have a laptop y’all. Now I have a kickass one. 300$ headset. Apple watch. I upgraded my android to iPhone.

Furniture: I redocrated my whole living space into something very nice and minimalistic. It really boosted my mood. I would never ever be able to do it before. Plus I decided to do it on a Friday then just went for it over the weekend on a whim. And it has something to do with my future investment plans so I take pride in it. I paid it with my earnings. Could have finessed it out of someone but I didn’t want anyone giving me decoration advice.

Health: I’m slowly taking care of my health issues. I was able to go to an obgyn regularly. I am getting my teeth done and some other problems checked. My yearly subscription to gym is all paid for and I am planning to go see a nutritionist as soon as I am less busy overall.

These are all the things I’ve been trying to build. This is how far I came. I’m not making savings yet, because I am still paying debts but my aim is to finish them in Feb. I will continue this post in order to put it into context.  

anonymous asked:

But when I think about the loud 3x I think that..harry was referring to 1. Louis being loud with friends and public places. 2. Louis veing loud with harry in private and family.. 3.Louis being loud in bed. I cannot handle this.

look at this shit-eating grin

Regarding Obi’s past:

OBI: “What? I wouldn’t be [interested] if I were you. You’ll get burned.”

SHIRAYUKI: “I have medicine for that!”

OMG. OMG. OMG. OMG.

Can you believe this shit?

CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?

Shirayuki will take him and his past and everything that comes with it. 

BECAUSE THERE ARE NO WOUNDS SHE CANNOT HEAL. 

AND WHEN YOU PAIR THAT WITH WHAT OBI SAID HERE:

CONSIDERING THE BEFORE I FEEL GOOD ABOUT INTERPRETING IT AS IF HE HAD MET SHIRAYUKI IN THE PAST MAYBE HE WOULDN’T BE SO BROKEN, HE WOULDN’T HAVE SO MANY FIGURATIVE AND LITERAL SCARS. 

Shirayuki is uniquely capable to handle all wounds. ALL WOUNDS!!!!!!

THIS IS TOO SWEET. 

WHY WILL THEY NEVER BE TOGETHER WHYYYYYYYY, 

anonymous asked:

I THOUGHT THOSE NEW KISS PICTURES ON THE BALCONY WERE PHOTOSHOP PED FOR A SECOND WHAT THE FU CK I WASN'T READY

LITERALLY ME, ANON!!!!!! I came online and that was the first thing I saw on my dash and I was like… HOLY SHIT THAT IS AN AMAZING MANIP….

…..

Then I looked closer.

HOLY FUCKING SHIT THIS IS REAL!!!

I AM STILL SCREAMING!

I’m glad I didn’t binge all of YOI today because you know what? I cannot handle Victor Nikiforov in large doses. Who is this man. He’s a world champion glittering idol, shows up nonchalantly booty-naked in a hot spring looking like a Greek statue, is Mr Smouldery Smouldervich Smoulderikov bishie man, but then he pulls shit like hugging his giant poodle in his sleep and drooping to the ground if you boop him on the head and carrying around a DOG-SHAPED TISSUE BOX HOLDER and demanding hot pots and I just. He is a beautiful and ridiculous varied tapestry woven with diamonds and bits of egg and I can’t take him all in at once

do y’all see this? do y’all really see this shit?? i’m out, i’m fucking done. i physically cannot handle this beauty. this shit coulda straight up blinded the ancient world. lupita out here looking like she’s asgardian. she looks like God spent three extra hours on her. she looks like a work of art. she looks painted. i can’t deal with this. i’m gonna tell future generations about this woman and this photoshoot and they’ll think i made her up, that’s how gorgeous this is and she is. i’m so fucking mad how is she not the protagonist and/or love interest in every movie ever??? how???? can cameras not accurately display this wonder and majesty???? we put a man on the moon but if we can’t have lupita play aphrodite or a space queen or storm or a lovable quirky romcom character then what’s the fucking point of anything??? we might as well delete the fucking earth. the entire earth. all of it. except for her.

ALL THE LESBIANS AFTER WATCHING ALYCIA IN HER LEXA OUTFIT DANCING AND SINGING WITH HER CUTE LITTLE HIGH PITCH VOICE

Originally posted by sogui