i cannot even begin to handle this

Jupiter in the First- My identity, my very self, takes me on a journey. My enthusiasm can come from self-questioning.

Jupiter in the Second- I seem to attract abundance, even when I no longer have a use for it… I grow out of it almost, seeking something higher,

Jupiter in the Third- When I lose the will to learn, I know I am not myself. I flourish the most when knowledge gleams.

Jupiter in the Fourth- I break out of the home, breaking a few hearts on the way. Those walls cannot contain me.

Jupiter in the Fifth- I want to see a piece of God, or source in my creations. I want them to reflect something truly divine.

Jupiter in the Sixth- I can handle the daily chores, the routine of it all if it leads to a bigger, impactful picture. If not, they seem to drag me down.

Jupiter in the Seventh- I need others to enrich me, not smother me, as soon as the latter begins I vow to move forth.

Jupiter in the Eighth- The underworld doesn’t frighten me, in fact, I’m drawn to it as a beacon of unfounded knowledge. Even death cannot dull my curiosity.

Jupiter in the Ninth- My source of expansion comes from a lifelong pilgrimage, where answers inspire more questions.

Jupiter in the Tenth- I feel the need to be of impact in this world, to push through barriers for all to see.

Jupiter in the Eleventh- It is within me to advance the collective, to achieve shared dreams and cherish the weight of them.

Jupiter in the Twelfth- Even in isolation and travelling the depths, I believe in Guardian Angels.

in celebration of the manga being back, I’ve been reading HxH from the very beginning and I can’t get over how short Gon is

he can’t even be in-frame whenever Leorio is

it’s just his ridiculous pointy hair sticking up like grass (sometimes with taller-than-Gon-but-still-twelve Killua’s puffball of hair)

how can he pay attention when he is too short to handle being in-frame

in sum: Gon is short. short Gon cannot be expected to hear things when he is unable to remain in the main shot because he is too short to hear them.

Queen of Peace: ONE

No Light//story page (banner by eriza)

one: always does her best to please

No good news came at four in the morning. Florence knew that. Harry knew that. The entire world accepted it as truth. Why Florence hoped for the best upon being woken by Diana at precisely 4:03 am, no one knew.

Keep reading

Λόγος

Title: Λόγος
Summary: Bill Cipher and the Axolotl were simply never meant to see things eye to eye.
Characters: Bill Cipher, the Axolotl.
Rating: K

A/N: this is for @cipherpeaks. Thanks a lot for your donation, I hope you like it!

***

Bill knows nothing about him, and that annoys him to no end.

He’s supposed to know all about everyone; knowledge is his gimmick, along with power beyond imagination and a great taste in clothing and drinks. And the best sense of humor. And singing voice. And eyelashes.

Basically everything about him is great, really, but knowledge is supposed to be the thing he’s best at, what he has in spades. His eye is supposed to see into the most secret truths of the Multiverse and, for the most part, it is true. Yet, when he turns it to the Axolotl - the oh-so-great divine being everyone keeps going on about - he sees nothing. Nothing.

“What are you, you overgrown space salamander?”

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

I think my daddy just abandoned me and I have no idea what to do 😭 I haven't heard from him in 3 days, and he has hardly been talking to be at all before that. This keeps happening to me and in starting to think there's something wrong with me 😣😭

DADDIES TAKE NOTE:

This the one of the most common messages i get… something to the tune of:

“Daddy left me and….-”

- It was my fault.

- I wasnt good enough.

- I must have done something wrong.

- I didnt do enough/too much

etc… and then they come to me and I have to step in the mess you left behind and get it all over my shoes.

Oh and guess what… it DOES happen to Daddies as well. In fact, its even happened to me.

9 times out of 10 this actually happens because the “daddy/little” in question was probably fake… a liar.. or you were too good for them to begin with.

real littles are fragile and just want to be truly loved. 

Please. If you are not a real daddy and cannot handle the task, stop being a bag of dicks and ruining peoples lives and go find someone on Tinder or something.

Hero: 9

Author’s Note: a short chapter this time, friends :( and likely not the most interesting, but it is very important! Sorry! BUT! PCY POV! always means ~politics abound~ i didn’t have time to make this as long as i wanted, but when i come back from vacation longer chapters will abound. we’re in the meat of the story now tho! i hope you all enjoy this <3

Song for this chapter: Bad Things - Tricky

Genre: Vampire!Chanyeol; horror; thriller; suspense; drama; eventual smut

Pairing: Chanyeol x Reader (oc; female)

Rating (this chapter): R (for the overall atmosphere)

Warnings (this chapter): (wow i don’t think there’s really any?)

Word Count: 3,625

Prologue | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11a | 11b

CHANYEOL

Death becomes him, he thinks. It suits him in a way that feels as though it were tailored just for him, follows in his shadows and never really leaves the soil beneath his fingernails because it wears him. It wears him like armor and never has he found it within himself to grieve or mourn this reality. Death belongs to him, is born from him, and allows him to feel free. 

Death is his armor but never his suitor, and only now, in the wake of Hero’s wide eyes and vicious tongue, is he starting to feel his control over death slip from his grasp. 

Keep reading

Surprise {Chapter 9- Final}

Avengers x reader, Steve Rogers x reader
Surprise MasterList   

Marvel MasterList 

Warnings: swearing , fluff,Angst , 😜


 The jet ride was silent , millions of questions whirling through your mind . Who are these people? Why did I get on this jet with them? Where are they taking me? Why does that blonde dude keep looking at me? Do I know him? Where are they even-

“ you probably have questions -” the girl Who found you says

Your eyes narrow at her, “ well wouldn’t you? Who are you people? ”

You look at each person on the jet, different forms of sadness and heartbreak showing on their faces .

“ we are your team y/n. You were taken from our home, and tortured and apparently your mind was wiped clean.” She says with a shakey voice . You can see her eyes glazing over with unshed tears , and your chest tightens at the sight and you aren’t sure why.

“ if I was- was wiped, how do I remember my name then? How do I know you aren’t the ones that ordered for me to be tortured ?”

“ you have to trust us. I can- I can show you . ” the girl says . She slowly approaches you, giving you time to stop her . She kneels infront of you, laying her palms face up , swirls of red rising from them.

“ what is your name?” You quietly ask . Her lips quirk up into a small smile ,
“ wanda . ”
You look into her eyes , watching as they flicker between her normal color and a bright shade of red.
“ your eyes are beautiful.” You whisper , you hand gently cupping her cheek, moving as if it’s a normal gesture for you. She leans into your touch,
“ you tell me that a lot , when I feel ashamed and scared of myself . You tell me how beautiful I am, how the world doesn’t deserve someone as kind as me.” She whispers back, the tears finally falling from her eyes . You swipe them away with your thumb, tears of your own involuntarily rolling down your cheeks .

“ I’m sorry , I’m so sorry I don’t remember you. ”

“ let me try and show you , please.” She begs . The red from her hands flaring up as she speaks .

“ wanda don’t, it might be too much for her-.” The tall blonde orders, his voice stern and commanding .

“ who are you to tell her what to do? To say what I can and can’t handle. I may not remember everything, but I can remember the torment I went through not even a day ago. I think I know what I can and cannot handle , so keep your orders to yourself .” You snap in defense . You look back to wanda ,
“Will it hurt ? Showing me ?”
“ i can’t say for sure , I don’t know how far they went in their wiping , which methods or how many they had to use . Your memories could be right under the surface , or buried far back. I won’t know until I’m in there.” You nod, placing you hands on top of hers, closing your eyes as she lets you know she’s about to begin .

Pain shoots through your head, a loud scream ripping through you.

You feel her hands twitch and you grab onto them, “ keep going .” You growl out as the pain spreads .

  The sights playing in your mind are foreign, like you’re watching a movie you’ve never seen before ; and you’re the star .You aren’t sure when one flash ends and another begins ,they blur together one after another ; but each one has you hooked , wondering what’ll happen next . You’ve watched numerous scenes of the man with blonde hair & dazzling blue eyes . You watch every time a smile spreads every time he engulfs you in a hug , takes your hand in his or when he’d wink at you. You watch all the intimate moments with him , your first kiss , the first time you had sex , the conversations while you laid naked in bed with him and the stolen glances you’d catch . You laugh when you watch the times him, the man with the metal arm and another darker man argue with each other or start food fights , and you’re brought to tears when a scene unfolds of you saving his life, a tingle shoots through your body as you see the bullet hit you and your body collapse .you let out a sob as you watch yourself die, but it settles when you see yourself waking up in a med bed , and you laugh when you see your adventures with the enhanced silver haired man . Then memories of being tortured play, your body buzzing as you watch yourself being shocked and abused . 

 You’ve seen probably hundred of memories , but nothing has changed your state . You don’t remember their names , but you atleast can grasp that you know them , and love them . The pain is ignored during the flashes, but when wanda takes her hands away a sharp sting startles you and brings you back into reality . 

“Did you- did you see all that?” You quietly ash wanda and she sends you an apologetic smile 

 “ yes, that was way more of steve than I’ve ever wanted to see ..” Steve , that’s his name .

The others try to hide their chuckles at Wanda’s disgusted face . You smile, and gently move to run your fingers down her cheeks again. Her hand cover yours , holding it to her face. 

“ you still don’t remember .” It wasn’t a question, just a heartbreaking statement . You nod, confirming her assumption. 

“ I don’t remember your names , ” you admit, looking around at everyone , stopping when your eyes meet Steves . “ but I do remember that I love all of you. I can feel it now, and I could feel it when me and wanda were looking in my mind. I love you .” 

 They smile at you, some letting tears rolls down their cheeks while others turn away before theirs can surface . Wanda moves away, only to be replaced with Steve now sitting infront of you. 

 “ I think I love you the most . I get this weird feeling in my stomach when I -” He chuckles ,

“ butterflies . You use to tell me I’d make millions of butterflies erupt in your stomach when I was near you.” He pauses and moves his hand to push back a loose strand of hair that has fallen in front of your face . “ I lost you once , and by some stroke of luck you came back to me . No matter what our lives throw at us , we will always come back to each other; there’s no doubt in my mind . You are mine, and I am yours doll.” 

 You let your tears freely fall as he speaks , the mix of sadness & confidence in his voice , his words hit you like a brick wall. You watch as his hand moves to take yours, the second it touches a spark burst from your hand to his & makes him flinch. You gasp , and open your mouth to apologize but he stops you. 

“ it didn’t hurt , that was mild compared to when you shocked me when you first came back. ” he chuckles . 

 Your eyes shoot up to his , and an idea pops into your mind . If shocks took away my memory… could they have the fever affect ? You think back to the memory you saw with wanda,your first kiss with Steve you shocked him so bad he flew back into a wall. Maybe this isn’t the best idea since we are still in a jet … 

“we are landing in 5.” A voice calls out . You smile , and look at steve. You look at wanda , repeating your plan in your head as you lock eye contact with her . She doesn’t speak, just sends you a nod and wide smile . Steve helps you off the jet , and your eyes go wide as you look around . Where the hell am I?

“guys, we need to go to Tony’s lab, now.” Wanda announces , not answering any of the questions the others are throwing at her . You follow them to the elevators , then follow them when you get to whatever floor this lab is on . You stop before completely entering, fear creeping in on you when you take in the room. It looks like the lab you were kept in when you were rescued , except not as terrifying . The white walls and tables still putyou off .

 “ you’re okay, it’s just Tony’s lab . There’s nothing medical in here, just his technology and experiments. ” steve whispers in your ear . You nod and step more into the lab. 

 “ hands off everything children, no touchy the techy.why are we in my lab wanda ? ” you assume the man is tony who is speaking . 

“tony , get the table out that you used when you had to tinker on Buckys on, the one with the straps . And that material you were testing that was able to bounce electricity for y/n’s new suit .” 

 “ what the-” 

“don’t ask questions.” She snaps . You see everyone’s eye widen at her tone . 

“ who switched your orange juice with bossy juice this morning , geez .” Tony mumbles , and you can’t control the laugh that escapes your lips. You watch as wanda instructs him on what to do , still not fully revealing the plan. Tony hands her the suit , and explains how the material absorbs electricity, even if the person wearing it get hit on exposed skin, and allows the energy to bounce off. Tony says how he made it in case you ever lost control of your powers or something odd happened . You watch tony wheel out a long table with arm, leg & chest straps . He backs It up to the wall, moving a few things out of the way.You take a few breath as you turn to steve . 

“I need you to put that suit on & get On that table , & get strapped in, okay?” 

 “ wh-” 

“do you trust me?” You quickly ask

 “I-yeah of course .” He moves to the table , and the man with long brown hair and metal arm moves forward to buckle him in. 

“are you sure this is a good idea? ” wanda asks and you nod 

“someone want to fill us in?” Tony asks , you don’t answer you just focus on your emotions . 

You let anger deep in , making your fingers tingle from the sparks that are staring to build . You think of the torture you watched yourself go through before you were rescued , you think of the fights you saw you & Steve have . The anger radiates off you in waves, visibly showing by the numerous sparks now fully shooting from your body. You open your eyes, locking then with Steves as you step closer to where he was restrained . You pray the suit works, and remind yourself that even if it didn’t , that’s what the table was for ; so steve didn’t go flying into a wall and getting hurt. Bucky , the red head , dark skinned man and tony step forward but wanda shouts at them to back away. When you’re in reach of steve , you lean forward and crash your lips to his . When they connect it’s barely two second before your energy releases to him, and another second before it bounces from him to you; sending powerful shocks through you so rapidly that you’re the one flying backwards . You hear steve shout and the restraint squeaking as he fights against them . Thankfully wanda cleared a path, and you flew right into the bare wall behind you. Your eyes falls shut as you hit it with a loud thud, then your body slides to the floor. The others can see the purple and blue sparks still snapping around you .

 instead of darkness, your mind is filled with the same memories as before, except now it wasn’t like watching a movie ; you were in your own shoes . You could feel Steves hands on yours , you feel yourself laughing with Natasha and wanda , and you remember your family. You’re not sure how long you were spiraling through your memories, but it must not of been long, because when you open your eyes you’re still on the floor . Steves face is hovering above you , filled with worry . You smile up at him, 

“ you look a little worried there, Doll.” At your words, his face brightens up . A beautiful smile blooms and his eyes crinkle as he chuckles . 

“ didn’t you learn that you can’t get rid of me that easily ?” The others laugh as steve helps you up, pulling you into a passionate kiss . 

 “ uh , we’re still here guys .” Sam says through a chuckle . You pull away from steve and run to Sam, leaping into his arms . You hug each and everyone of them , crying as you do. How could I forget them? How could I ever forget my family? You linger on wanda , holding her tightly to you. 

“thank you, for trusting me and my plan.” You whisper . 

“ always y/n.” You move from her to pietro ,and smirk . 

“thank you for speeding me out of there quickie . ” he pulls you to him, kissing your head as you wrap your arms around him. 

 You move back towards steve, placing your hand in his and tugging him out of the lab without a word. You hear a chorus of groans and whistling as you shove him in the elevator . When the doors close you walk him backwards until his back hits the wall. 

“ you’re right,” he gives you a confused look before you continue,“ we will always come back to each other Steve. I am yours, always have been & always will be. And you Steve rogers are mine, and I will not let you go without a fight.”    He smiles , leaning forward to gently lock your lips with his . The elevator opens on his floor , and he swiftly lifts you and carries you to his room . You laugh as you move, feeling like a koala the way your legs are wrapped around his waist and arms around his neck. 

He drops the two of you on his bed , pushing his weight off you so you can look at each other. 

“I love you .” You say as you smile up at him .he returns the smile ,

 “ I love you y/n. But seriously , no more dieing , or getting kidnapped . I don’t want to lose anymore time with you.” 

“ mmm I can’t make any promises . Gotta keep you on your toes Captain.” You say with a wink. Steve groans and drops his head into the crook of your neck , obviously not expecting that response from you. You feel him sigh into your neck before hearing his voice again ,

 “ you’ll never stop surprising me doll.”


@fireflyloki28 @advorepayne  @1sociallyawkward1 @a-common-name@holdingontomytacobell  @38leticia @stucked82@laurajcksn     @unusallycarbonatedbagel @jmcbutts15   @ravenclaw-geek24 @ciannabell @gerardwayisapotato @captainsherlockwinchester110283 @demonic-meatball

* @kindnesswins  @greeneyedgal20@bucky-bear-barnes  @curlycals @delicatecapnerd@existentialmalaises @misshyen @buckyappreciationsociety @bywonater @rosecharlotteweasley @pinetree111 @yknott81 @mysanityisgone27 @meganlane84 @melconnor2007 @fuckoffcourtney @hollycornish   @red-writer13  @chloeaacole   @wildestdreamsrps @stucked82 @cate-lynne   @film-it-fuck-it-live-it–abigail @hillrich @katykyll     @agentmstark  @prostheticsoldier @frickin-bats @maygenjayne1 @thischickrocks8245 @xuaniexuan  @ohlookitsabi   @midtownsciencenerd @elaacreditava @sammnipple @sophiiev @aknerdchick @letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked @skeletoresinthebasement @frozenhuntress67 @dacianamusik23 @mrssierrarogers @colette2537 @buckys-shield @stuff-from-biomed-life  @marvelandwinchesters927 @baskinrobinsalwaysfindsout @elyza-jeanette  @debzybrazy @cutely-prettily @parkerit @italy-kun27  @sexy—tardis @luna-mellark  @aweways @smolbutfullofcrazy @iceteaart @kapolisradomthoughts @clone-starwars-wars @rivinrit @factorfreshness  @fangirl81422 @the-winter-avengerrrrr @frolicsomefawkes @girlwonder86 @elitafuckingone @crownie-sr @angel-hunter-winchester @imjustafuckinggirl @deamonsgold @michelle-hemmings18  @cashewboys @winter-prime  @tattooideasforthefuture @marykate55 @marvel-fanfiction @dl9311   @but-the-trailer-tho @e-g-b-o-k @kayla-mayhem @milleniumxhan @ragequitthatshit @opaque-daydream @travelwithwords @thedyingrose16 @netherqueen23 @foreverybodythatunderstands23 @icantevendothemerengue @sukanya99 @the-league-of-hot-assassins @wolfkingsqueen @elenoranave @the-amaranthine @anorborg  @evyiione @scarlettsoldier @ariminiria   @sun-setl @ioannalantzou @purplekitten30  @do-you-mind-if-i-slytherin1 @emilarose @everlasting9 @ladywitheclecticheart  @thiscuriouslymiss @zuni21798 @graysonmalfoy @amazing-fandom-freak @iamwarrenspeace @life-what-life-i-dont-have-one @clumsy-idiot7 @courtneychicken @widowbite-legit @barnesandnoble13 @omlmariah  @elizabethduhh @amazonprincess-diana @the-sassy-nacho @soa-brothers @hopelessaddictions @brerdedpeach @klmilk-spnfamily @fangirling-all-the-way-tbh @polarbearnamedpanda @wantingtobekorra @dontlovemeimbroken @andyl394 @psychicwitchphilosopher

James Marsters singing about Harry/Karrin?!

So @it-hurts-because-it-mattered​ put me on to this song by James Marsters’ band Ghost of the Robot, and… holy shit. There are plenty of songs that could perhaps be associated with this ship, but not only are the lyrics of this one ludicrously accurate, on top of that we get to hear Harry Dresden singing it himself!! When I listen to it, I can so easily picture Dresden sitting on the couch, playing his guitar in a quiet moment of reflection, and writing this song while thinking of Karrin. The lyrics capture the sweet, reverent way Harry thinks about her, the fact that he understands her in a way no one else does, and he appreciates things about her that she has difficulty appreciating within herself. Also, of course, listening to the chorus immediately brings to mind these passages from Grave Peril:

The door burst open. Murphy came through it, her eyes living flames of azure blue, her hair a golden coronet around her. She held a blazing sword in her hand and she shone so bright and beautiful and terrifying in her anger that it was hard to see. The Sight, I realized, dimly. I was seeing her for who she was.

“For a minute there, when I came in. You stared at me. You stared at me with the strangest damned expression on your face. What did you see?” she asked.
“You’d laugh in my face if I told you,” I said.

I smiled, remembering the vision, sharp and brilliant in my mind’s eye. Murphy, the guardian angel, coming through the door in a blaze of wrath. It was a picture I wouldn’t mind keeping with me. Sometimes you get lucky.

So please listen to this beautiful song, and if anyone sees James Marsters at a convention, thank him for me <3

Angel, by Ghost of the Robot (sung by James Marsters)

She comes home to me after a hard night’s work
Falls in my arms and sleeps like a bird
Startle, wakes up, like she don’t know me
Cocks back her fist like she’s going to slug me
Like, who are you anyway
And what are you doing to me?

She’s an angel
But she can’t see it
She’s got wings,
But she can’t feel ‘em
She’s an angel
But she can’t see it
But she’s flying above me every day
Every day of my life

Bright diamond eyes with daggers beneath them
She carries the chains of a million decisions
That weren’t even hers to begin with anyway
But she carries them all
All the people around her
Never even notice that she’s very very tired

She’s an angel
But she can’t see it
She’s got wings
But she can’t feel 'em
She’s an angel
But she can’t see it
But she’s flying above me every day
Every day of my life

La la la la…

Looking Back

I dunno how to start off… but definitely, I need to give my thanks to everyone in the comment section and those who contacted me privately.  I apologize for ignoring notifications deliberately as I was too focused on my own faults and just didn’t feel courageous to reply back aside from work-related topics.

There is no concern that I’ll stop artsing what I love… that’s like giving up my life.  But the past days I’ve been struggling to figure out what I truly want and sadly, it isn’t drawing for my own sake or entertainment.  It’s to be recognized and acknowledged, as selfish as it is.  I unfortunately cannot bring myself to find pleasure for my own sake and instead, seek the reception of others.  And lately, I felt I’ve been ignored or pushed aside… starting since the beginning of the year.

The past few months have not been too kind to me on social networks.

There was a time in several Discord servers where I was, admittedly, kicking ass in Splatoon and got many peps salty, even making myself leave since I couldn’t handle the hate.  And someone dissing on my art and even saying I shouldn’t be here.  I even attempted to help out an artist, but later realized they have been deliberately ignoring me, even when I checked in, willing to help.  No answer.  And so I stopped there as it was not worth my time to assist them (and turns out I wasn’t the only one receiving this end of the stick, so good riddance).

It became harder and harder to really feel proud and happy for myself.  I have done wrong things, others have wrong things, but regardless of the faults, it’s been a struggle to really push forward and appreciate myself.  Not just in art, but in gaming, interacting…

And here, I am grateful for being a well-known fanartist… but I also hate it.  Many of you guys are expecting my art and comics, but I feel like a disappointment that I am unable to relive my moments as I did whilst writing TVA and Rainmaker.  I am NOT N-joying doing my comics and arts now.  Back then, I seriously didn’t consider numbers, I just wanted the story and theme to get through to everyone… but now, it’s the other way around, with my mind dead set on getting more attention.  My Pokemon comic isn’t doing as well as I wanted it to be, my Splatoon universe is feeling forgotten and overshadowed…

I am setting too high of expectations and goals for myself.  I get very discouraged when they never succeed.  And it felt like that for the past months.  I don’t acknowledge the small ones, I strive for the big ones.  But I don’t feel myself getting anywhere closer, if not, my expectations are declining and my fear increases.  We all strive for greatness and improvement, but I sadly haven’t been feeling it.

When hardly anyone showed up in my recent streams, I canceled the recent one because I felt too much of a failure to continue on.  I ended up moving it as a Patreon goal (also clarification, the goal has to be met so that I can stream publicly, not tied to only my Patrons), which was a rather bad move, but to me, it didn’t matter when I don’t get an audience.  Hardly anyone comes by, so I just saw no point in doing them, even if we reach the goal.  I see people getting 20+ peps, but I can’t even reach half that number.  It was a huge blow to my confidence as an artist overall.

Finances, money, or fame was never the issue.  It’s just me, struggling to accept the realities that I will probably never meet my own expectations.  And it hurts, a lot, that when I can’t reach them, I fail and feel discouraged.  I grew up being a perfectionist and I felt I was achieving those milestones when I first started.  Now I struggle to recognize that I can’t win them all and it’s the reality I don’t want to accept.  Being wrong.

Right now, on all my sites, I felt I’ve disappointed all of you, but above all, myself, that I will never appreciate myself.  We’re all human, we all make mistakes and faults, but I feel I’ve made too many blunders here.  Which is why I was conflicted whether or not I leave.  I’ve already made my choice long ago that I will continue doing what I love, no matter how many complaints I write about myself.  But I keep wallowing in the bad things more than good, as well as thinking back more on my own failures than successes.  I am still not happy while writing this journal, nor does it really change anything aside from the fact I’ll never quit here.  Even now, I lack the courage and motivation to work on anything.

Despite being in a pinch for money, I refuse to sell commissions right now.  I’m sorry, but I feel too much for a failure to even start on them.  There are far better, successful artists out there and I wouldn’t mind giving recommendations.  But please understand I just don’t deserve to do commissions.  I would say the same for my Patrons, but they have already paid for this month, so they must be awarded.  Plans have not changed otherwise, so the Patreon-only Discord will still be going down by end of the month, if not, earlier.

I still have some old doodles that I might post over on my tumblr sites, but don’t expect anything new.  I don’t have any new artworks to show nor motivation to make new ones.

Thank you again for your feedback.  I truly appreciate it and I’m sorry I can’t respond aside from work-related stuff such as Patreon.  Personal responses I can’t give for the time being as I’m worried I’ll lash out, so I’m so sorry about that.

I’m sorry if this journal doesn’t make anyone here happy.  As much as I don’t want to worry all of you, I can’t stop bottling these feelings anymore.  Nothing nor no one was able to give me the solution I desperately needed and I cannot assure whether or not I’ll get over this internal dilemma.  I don’t wanna hide it anymore or worse, lie about it.  These doubts I recover within a few hours, but it’s been only two, if not, three days that I’m having such continuous thoughts.  Who knows how long I’ll get over it…

Regardless thank you for reading, peps.

I Hate That I Need You

Request by ima-monster-bitch : “Idk if you’re taking requests but Can you make a imagine where you and j get into a fight you say something like “shut up I hate you” and he says stuff like because I love you, you’re not alone you know, I don’t want to lose you okay, I need you I need us and just and lots of fluff after the fight please and thank you”

~

You were always up for a nice argument, get things off your chest and clear your mind - As was J.. but this time it just hurt a little too much and some real feelings came through full force.

Warnings: Non-Joker behaviour, Very harsh language, other than that fluff 😊

~

You always pull this bullshit on me J!!! I told you not to! I Told you not to fucking pull any jobs this week! Just this week! That’s all I asked for and you didn’t even care!!”

You were beyond furious this time, usually you liked helping J with his plots and schemes but this time you wanted him to yourself. Even if it was for just a week or a few days, but it was your birthday, and you didn’t want dead bodies being a part of it.

“Y/N, doll, relax, it was just one…” he started to explain

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darkshados  asked:

Is there any character or characters he made that you don't like?

I suppose given my railing against the man you’d think I would hate everything he ever made, but alas, I’ve grown so attached to my personal interpretations and ideas that I cannot bring myself to truly hate them, only hate how badly handled they were by Penders. 

That being said, there IS one that sticks out, one character I just straight up hate- this fucker, Dr. Droid. 

Hoo boy, where do I even begin… see, this guy was actually the villain of Penders horrid original series, The Lost Ones (which lasted only one issue), and Penders used him as the main villain for the equally horrible Image Crossover Special, where it was hinted he was connected to Robotnik in some fashion. Evidently Penders was gonna have HIM as the ‘Ultimate Robotnik’ and the final major threat of Knuckles: 20 Years Later (before it became Mobius 25YL). 

The fact that Penders honestly tried to sell this shitstain as a legit successor of Robotnik while trying to canonically tie his own work to a series he never owned ensures I got a loooot of hate for the guy, especially because there is *nothing* to him, nothing at all. He was a character designed to replace Robotnik/Eggman while bringing absolutely *nothing* to the table in terms of personality or backstory, both of which he completely lacked. 

anonymous asked:

If you don't mind would you please be able to give an analysis of Woo's breakdown in the chapter 13? Or if there is one that already exists would you happen to know where I could find it? Thank You so much in advance and sorry for the trouble!

Wow prepare for a big ramble that probably makes no sense and is all conjecture. For me, it became insightful after my third reading, lol. 

The first thing you notice is that hoo boy Sangwoo does not like to be disobeyed or to be made the fool. That sounds obvious, but give me a second. You really see it in this chapter - just how fucking entitled he is, how shook he is by the idea of Bum leaving. He’s not even worried about the repercussions of his escape, legally etc - he just feels so damn personally betrayed by the idea of his disobeying him (’after everything I said? he ignored me??’). He’s even more disgustingly possessive than we thought.

I think that in general the breakdown - at least for me - reinforced the idea that once he began to progressively see his mum in Bum, he never really intended to kill him. The only thing that would change that was if Bum proved to be unbreakable and kept rebelling. So, as opposed to what i originally thought, I don’t think he was fucking with Bum with the intention of one day disposing of him, rather, he began to set him up for the long run. He wanted to keep him. But then its Bum’s first ‘betrayal’ that changes that. We see it in chapter seven - he intends to kill Bum for disrespecting him with his attempted escape (he’s thinking ‘it’s worthless, Bum will never submit’). So he’s strangling him, intending to kill, but then Bum drops the honorific:

When he’s dangling from the ceiling by his neck, though, he reverts back to “Sangwoo-ya,” without an honorific…In turn, that really explains Sangwoo’s expression there. In this situation, when Bum is literally choking to death, not in any situation to even think of manipulating him, he’s referring to Sangwoo familiarly? He’s calling Sangwoo fondly? Sangwoo’s surprise is completely understandable. (x)

Sangwoo is literally like ‘what the fuck’, even now, even as i’m doing this, you can still speak to me like that? Bum might have disobeyed him, but once again Sangwoo saw his potential, and the open opportunity for reform. Or should I say, the opportunity to mold. Bum still had potential to be obedient and submissive, and as long as there is room for Sangwoo to bang Bum into shape, he will punish, but let him live. All in order to preserve his wider goal of turning him into his perfect and submissive…*drum roll* : pseudo-momwife lol. You guessed it. And then the power rush he gets from the name-calling is so strong that he pops a boner and cums all over his feet?? Sangwoo is aroused by his power over people, and the sense of unconditional devotion to him. Ego. He likes feeling needed, and being submitted to. In fact he demands it. I had brought this up with a friend a while back, and now i can be pretty sure - he comes from his name because of his own ego being stroked (ill return to this).

Back to chapter 13, he thinks Bum really has escaped and he’s all you’ve done it now you little fucker, you’ve really pissed me off , you’re gonna get it. He doesn’t care that Bum has momwife potential because his injured ego outweighs his desire to recreate a newer and better (more on this later) version of his mother (I’ll kill him. I have to kill him now!!). Even more interesting is that directly after he says he has to kill Bum, he recalls his mum. This makes him angry and he punches the pole. I’ve been thinking about why he does that, and i’ve kind of done a 180 in my views since a week ago. I don’t think he remembered his mum because of guilt, or because the idea of killing Bum makes him feel guilty. I think he remembered her because his feeling of betrayal echoes something he felt in the past - with her. That is to say, I believe his mum might have ‘betrayed’ Sangwoo in a way that echoes Bum’s alleged escape. Whatever she did, he probably killed her for it.

Keep in mind that he doesn’t exactly head home with a change of heart after he remembers her. So needless to say, i’m flirting with the ‘Sangwoo killed his mum’ camp again. The guy is clearly obsessed with Bum - he honest to God looked deranged, losing his shit and then collapsing to the floor. It was relief, not in a ‘i’m not going to get caught yet’ way, but in a ‘this thing i value so much has returned to me’ kind of way. If he’s obsessed with this cheap, shallow recreation of her, just how obsessed was he with the real thing? The fact that he is projecting his mum onto everything around him shows how deep this obsession ran. It’s telling that even after all these years he is trying to recreate her, bring her back to life in the form of another person. A person who is easier to control. 

I’m thinking maybe he killed his mum because he couldn’t handle her disagreeing with him, or because he felt that she had stepped out of bounds as pertaining to his ‘rights’ over her. It would have been intolerable to him. We know the parents died together, that is to say, within a similar time frame. Maybe she expressed outrage at his killing his dad, and whatever form this outrage of hers took, he received it as an irredeemable insult. She rebelled in some way, and he ‘had’ to kill her for it. Dude’s cray enough to do it. The narrative has cleverly left it vague so that we’re unsure - but I don’t think his feelings for his mother were purely innocent attachment augmented by fatherly abuse. He was probably outside of the scope of normal in how he felt, and what he expected of her. Super possessive.

He wants Bum to have all the characteristics his mother did, without the undesirables. Sangwoo is breaking him bit by bit so that he can sift out his will to resist. He wants his mommy - but he wants her his way. Why does he crack a boner in 13? I think it was the combined imagery/memories of Bum’s submission (wanting Sangwoo sexually despite the mistreatment, calling out for him and needing him even when the pain is being inflicted by Sangwoo) along with some memory of his mother doing something similar. Maybe she called out to him in a similar way when he killed her…like i said, it’s all speculation. It doesn’t necessarily imply he was sexually attracted to his mother…he just gets off on power.

So the most dangerous thing about this guy? Yeah, I’m thinking that it’s his ego. And you know what - I think Koogi hinted this in the very beginning. Remember when he killed the girl, he said:

He victimizes himself and cannot handle an injured ego, he cannot handle people not submitting to him or thinking theyre ‘better than him’. And i think chapter 13 and his breakdown lends itself to this idea. I don’t think he wants bum to be his man-killing murder sidekick - he just wants his perfect mommy back to play into his hands as is convenient for him. My ideas are continually changing, and im always open to new interpretations. Chapter 14 might invalidate this completely lmao but that’s where i’m at right now! I hope this was helpful.

Honesty

Pairing: Percival Graves x Reader
Prompt: @scarletraine requested 38 “You fainted…straight into my arms. You know, if you wanted my attention you didn’t have to go to such extremes.” and 27 “I’m Pregnant.”
Wordcount: 1,450
Warnings: nope, though I think Graves himself should come with a warning.

A/N: Yeah I feel like this is kinda rubbish, idk but I’m sorry. I should’ve been revising but instead I am trash so I wrote this. Also thank you to everyone else who has sent me prompts/requests. I am working my way through them (slowly) but my exams start on monday so I may need a week off. But after this next week I will be back with a vengeance

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Death Card Cuttoff

I’m tines past this place was where I could sit what was bothering me. I think I need a space like that again.

I can’t even find a corner to begin on. It all seems to me meshed together. I’m wearing a printed cut off tee of the death card, the symbol of my sign, and the symbol of transformative change.

All through my life I’ve felt like something is just stuck in my soul that cannot handle change. I think about certain aspects of my life changing and I can feel my literal stomach clench in uneasiness. I needed to shave for years. years. before I finally got the courage up to do so.

My partner, whom I have fallen in love with, can’t imagine my life without, was going through steady point in life when we met. Over the years I’ve come to understand aspects of him, and I understand that one of those aspects is utter and open ambivalence to change, and it is through this that he has fearlessly and with light heart has conquered many dimensions of his life.

How can I even balance this? He’s getting interviewed by huge tech companies in expensive places. I make pizza. I only have food experience. I have debts. I can’t drive. Why does he even want me? I feel like I have so little to offer him and it makes me feel physically ill.

I love him, but right now, fear of change clouds my vision of love. Three weeks was so long to be away from him, and so many things happened with him while he was away. There’s so many new patterns to accustom to, ones that make me so uncomfortable my soul crawls even though they are no big deal really.

I haven’t changed in many ways. I feel like the same sad, anxious trash person, afraid of change, knowing it’s happening. Wishing for..l..I couldn’t even say ..I just don’t even know.

Step Bro...Fuck Buddy...or Love?

For the ones who haven’t read previous chapters yet … Just click the links below

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9

Originally posted by jeonsshi


Genre: Smut ( NSFW )

Members: JungKook & Tae Hyung & Reader

Word Count : 1.812

With JungKook’s voice TaeHyung stops, turning away and frowns as he objects.

“But we used to share bro…”

Share? They shared girls before ? The thing that I hear is just…

I freze, eyes wide.

“Wait… What ? … How ?”

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pintofwhine  asked:

Whats a "routine beak trim"? I own a parrot and I wasnt aware that youre supposed to trim their beaks, is it a big deal?

There is no such thing as a routine beak trim. Bird beaks are mostly made of keratin which continually grows much like your fingernails. In the wild they need the beaks to grow continuously because they use them just like we use our hands and the keratin gets worn down.

For decades parrots were kept without proper diets or enrichment. They were not using their beaks as they should and so the beaks tended to overgrow and needed trimming. For some reason this “fact” of parrot ownership sank deep into the public psyche and its just a “known” thing, you take your parrot to get a beak trim often. There are other reasons besides lack of use that a beak will overgrow or grow unusually and these can depend on the species. The other reasons can be: poor diet, liver disease, viral disease, cancer, congenital abnormalities, and trauma.

Unfortunately many vets unfamiliar with parrots will just trim the beaks up without getting a complete history or running diagnostics to figure out why it needs the trimming. So your bird could have liver disease that never gets addressed and the problem continues. These animals often die early or never do very well. Even more upsetting is that these birds can sometimes die during a beak trim just due to the stress, they are so sick that their bodies just cannot handle it. This is part of the reason birds got the reputation for being as delicate as fine china. Quite a few parrots have died during trims and the vet gets blamed for “killing the bird” when in fact it was likely very ill to begin with. 

I refuse to do beak trims until I get a complete history +/- run diagnostics if needed. Obviously a bird that got its beak smashed in a door most likely does not have liver disease and so as long as it is otherwise healthy I may not run labs. Sometimes I also glean from the history that their simply isn’t enough foraging and other enrichment for the parrot and as soon as that is rectified, the beak will return to normal. If an owner declines diagnostics when I feel they are appropriate I have them sign an against medical advice form. This form basically states I am recommending lab work and by not doing it they understand that the bird could have a masked disease that may result in severe illness or death and I will not be held liable.

Finally, the other issue is that not all parrot beaks are the same. They differ in shape and length between species and so unless you are very familiar with them it is hard to gauge whether a beak is abnormal and how it needs to be trimmed and reshaped. Someone unfamiliar with parrots would think a Kea is in desperate needs of a trim when in reality they have very long pointed rhinothecae (upper beaks).

The fact that you own a parrot that has not ever needed a beak trim probably means you are providing it with ample opportunities to wear it down naturally.

Words cannot even begin to describe just how in awe I am of Jadyn’s performance in that scene. There’s only so much of a backstory you can piece together when you’re not given every little detail, yet I felt like we already knew that about her and so watching the emotions pour out of her, like she had kept it bottled up, was heartbreaking. The scene was only made better by how he handled it; how his actions were exactly what she needed in that moment to confirm that she had made the right decision in choosing to be with him.

anonymous asked:

can we talk about that now actually cannon hug? (not even JUST a hug. literal cuddling and falling asleep. [in my imagination, spooning]) can we talk about how they're basically canon?!?!?!

Like I cannot handle this right now

Nagisa just LATCHES onto Rei while he is half-asleep. And at first Rei is like “stop hugging me” but he immediately gives in and is like “well it can’t be helped” and, presumably, allows Nagisa to continue holding him as he begins to count butterflies in order to help Nagisa continue sleeping (and holding him). 

And just like Nagisa replies because he isn’t fully asleep, or is sleep-talking, either way he’s fine with holding onto Rei. And Rei actually enjoys it enough to say “thank you very much. For some reason I myself feel very content… I think that I will have a very beautiful dream” in the sweetest freaking voice. 

And GOD just listen to him when he tells Nagisa his shirt is up. And when Nagisa yells while he’s sleepy. They are such an adorable little married couple. 

I do wish the writers weren’t so afraid to SHOW things like this happening, though. Last drama CD they went on a date, this one they cuddle, but in the show most of their conversations are about swimming or Haru’s future. Eh..

anonymous asked:

Marty McFly (sterek?)

  • Marty McFly: time travel 

When nothing happens when the witch casts the spell, all blazes of bright light, that wrap around Derek (it merely tickles), nobody really paid attention. Scott reprimands the witch for being in their territory and causing mischief and sends her on her way, out of Beacon Hills while she rolls her eyes and grumbles. It’s a good way to end a really weird week of terrible magic.

So by the time Derek is trying the keys to the apartment he shares with Stiles, frowning at the lock and wondering what’s wrong, he’s completely forgotten about the spell and whatever unforeseen effects it may have had. 

This is ridiculous, Derek thinks as the key doesn’t fit the lock for the fifth time. And he can’t smell Stiles or hear his heartbeat anywhere around the apartment, despite the fact that Stiles had wanted to go home right after the witch confrontation to watch the new episode of Game of Thrones, since the wolves were all going to be busy escorting the witch outside of Beacon County. 

Weird. Derek pulls out his phone, but for some reason it isn’t turning on despite having full battery an hour ago. 

He grunts and makes his way over to Stiles’ old house, and sure enough, he can smell Stiles here, his boyfriend’s scent fresh all over the area, even though Derek knows Stiles hasn’t visited his dad in a few days.  

Derek walks past the blue Jeep in the driveway and does a double take; wasn’t there a huge dent on the driver’s door from the encounter with the troll? 

The metal of the door is smooth. 

Derek frowns. 

His spare house key for the front door doesn’t work either. In fact, the entire door looks like the old one the Stilinskis had, before Melissa had moved in and they remodeled. 

Derek climbs up the side wall and makes his way into Stiles’ old bedroom window; he almost chuckles with nostalgia. 

Stiles is sitting on his bed, making notes in a textbook. Derek smiles at the sight of him biting his lip in concentration and climbs onto the bed next to him, wrapping his arms around Stiles from behind, burying his face into Stiles’ neck, inhaling the scent there. “Hey,” he says.

Derek isn’t expecting at all for Stiles to turn bright red and squeak out, “Derek? What–what are you doing?”

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