THAT MOMENT WHEN YOURE READING FANFICTION AND A CHARACTER SAYS SOMETHING REALLY CUTE OR ANGSTY BUT IT SOUNDS LIKE SOMETHING THEY WOULD ACTUALLY SAY AND YOU JUST KINDA LEAVE THE COMPUTER AND WALK AIMLESSLY AROUND THE HOUSE TO CALM YOUR RAGING FEELS
My thoughts aren’t always holy. My actions aren’t always loving. I fail. I slip. I’m a mess on so many days. I don’t have it all together, but I live and breathe God’s Grace every moment of every day, and THAT is what pulls me through. I am committed to being more like Jesus, and I pray God gives me the strength to continue dying to myself daily and picking up His Cross. I cannot do this alone. I cannot live a holy and righteous life without Him. God, I pray my heart clings to You tighter than anything else in this world!
I like people, but I need to be alone.
I’ll go out, vibe and meet new people
but it has an expiration because I have to recharge. If I don’t ﬁnd the
valuable alone time I need to
recharge I cannot be my highest self.
Please help me find someone else with my rare conditon
My name is Valerie, I’m a teenager, and I’m chronically ill.
I’ve been sick for a decade now, and unfortunately, I tend to get all the rare and ~special~ disorders. Because of this, I currently have doctors in nine cities spanning across five states. I battle six chronic conditions, and balancing them is a daily struggle, but I’ve managed.
But my newest condition has turned my life upside down. It’s called Recurrent Subacute Thyroiditis (RSAT) and most doctors will never see a case of this in their lifetime. I luckily have found a doctor who has least seen a few cases of this before, but I am the youngest person she has ever seen with this condition.
RSAT is an inflammation of the thyroid that causes overactivity, leading to high heart rates, trouble breathing, low blood pressure, dizziness, chest pains, insomnia, fatigue, hair loss, and muscle weakness. The overactivity lasts for about 2-3 months, and then the thyroid flips to inactivity, leading to lethargy, extreme fatigue, depression, low body temperature, and slow heart rates. The inactivity lasts for 2-3 months, making this a 4-6 month condition. I’m currently in the middle of my second episode, and my first episode was just two years ago.
I am terrified. This condition has caused me to be rushed to the ER twice. This condition has rendered me so dizzy and dropped my blood pressure so low that walking is a hazard and I am in a wheelchair. This condition has prevented me from attending school since the end of October. This condition can occur again, and there is no telling when or how often.
I’ve scoured the web, posted in countless Facebook groups, analyzed research, and even scheduled a conference call with doctors in another country to try to get some answers. Not only is there no information on it, but I can’t find anyone else with it (and due to HIPPA laws, my doctor is not allowed to connect me with the other cases she has seen). I have support from my friends and family, but they cannot even begin to understand what this is like.
I am alone in this right now, but I know the internet is a powerful place. I’ve seen other kids with rare conditions find support and/or answers, and I thought I might as well give it a shot. Please, please - even if you don’t have this condition, even if you don’t know me, please reblog this and spread this around. I just need to know that I’m not alone in this. Even finding one person who has this would make the world of a difference.
Thank you in advance. Those who know me best know I absolutely hate asking for help, but I can’t do this alone anymore.
We all live in the same universe, but in different worlds, as Mooji says. In one sense, we are all radically alone. I cannot experience your experience. You cannot experience my experience. Nobody can live for me, or die for me, experience pain for me, or joy for me. Nobody can cry for me, or laugh for me, or dance for me. I go through all of that in radical aloneness.
But to stay with that aloneness, to face it, to sink into the great mystery of it, that is the key, for that is where we discover true compassion. We realise that on the deepest level we are all, every single one of us, in exactly the same situation. And so, even though we are all alone, we are not alone, alone. We are alone, together. Alone, with everything and everyone. Alone, with thoughts, sensations, feelings, sounds, smells, as they arise and dissolve in the vastness. Here, we are alone with all of life, intimate with it, inseparable from it. Aloneness is not loneliness.
The phrase “love of my life” always sounded so dramatic to me because if there are over 6 billion people on the Earth, how is it truly possible that one person was made just for you? But then, there was you. And you broke my heart. And I moved on to date other people except that I didn’t because you were always sat in the very centre of my heart with your legs swinging.
Every hand I held, every date, every kiss: it was you my heart whined for. So answer me- is this how it’s always going to be now? Am I going to live my life and fall in love but always wish it was you in the back of my mind because if so, if I am always going to want you then that’s not fair on those who love me with all they have. In that case, maybe I am better off alone.
“I cannot leave you to face death alone,” Will whispered, but he knew he was beaten; the sands of his will had run out. Jem touched the parabatai rune on his shoulder, through the thin material of his nightshirt. “I am not alone,” he said. “Wherever we are, we are as one.”