the worst type of panic attack is the one that starts with an “off feeling” and continues growing for hours, if not days, giving you no breaks, no pauses. a silent scream inside your head that keeps getting louder without stopping to breathe in even once. your body twisting and shaking, nails digging into the skin in a laughable attempt to scrape out the insects crawling underneath. knowing very well that your brain has made the insects up, but cutting yourself open anyway. it lasts, and lasts, and as it grows, it makes you kick and scream, and suffocates you with a rope woven from twitches, trembles and intrusive thoughts. it’s chronic pain, it doesn’t go away; you’re bleeding already but there is so much more for it to take from you… you lose your consciousness from exhaustion but seconds later you wake up into the same torture chamber made out of your own flesh. no closure. no sleep. no numbness. no blackout. it lasts. it lasts. it lasts - until your heart gives up at last.