i can't with this goddamn band they give me too many feelings

Sad Song-Michael Clifford

I heard this song and knew I had to put it in something…gotta love We The Kings…This is the Mikey version of the 4/4 where management makes you pr date one of the guys….so ya….enjoy!

You were in desperate need of new guitar picks. You were hopeless at being able to keep anything, honestly if your head wasn’t attached to your body you might loose it. You headed to your favorite music store, to get some new picks and see what new guitars they had. You were eyeing this Yamaha acoustic guitar, when you heard a familiar melody. Someone was playing on one of the pianos. It was “Sad Song” by We The Kings, one of your favorites…actually one you used to listen to quite often after you broke up with someone very special to you. Whoever was playing was good. Really good. You decided to find this mystery player. You headed to where the pianos, where a boy with longer blond hair in a red flannel shirt was playing. You were standing behind him, so you couldn’t see his face. But when he started singing, you instantly knew who this boy was.

“You and I, We’re like fireworks and symphonies exploding in the sky.

With you, I’m alive, Like all the missing pieces of my heart, they finally collide.

So stop time right here in the moonlight, ‘Cause I don’t ever wanna close my eyes.”

He sang in a deep, raspy voice. Then he proceeded to sing the chorus.

“Without you, I feel broke. Like I’m half of a whole.

Without you, I’ve got no hand to hold.

Without you, I feel torn. Like a sail in a storm.

Without you, I’m just a sad song. I’m just a sad song…”

He continued to play, and the sight of this boy who used to mean so much of you pulled at your heart. He hadn’t noticed you were there, so it made it easy for you to join in on the next part.

“With you I fall. It’s like I’m leaving all my past in silhouettes upon the wall.

With you I’m a beautiful mess. It’s like we’re standing hand in hand with all our fears upon the edge.

So stop time right here in the moonlight, ‘Cause I don’t ever wanna close my eyes.”

He didn’t stop playing, and you saw him smile even before he looked at you. He knew your voice just as well as you knew his, and would recognize it anywhere. You finished the rest of the song together.

“Without you, I feel broke. Like I’m half of a whole.

Without you, I’ve got no hand to hold.

Without you, I feel torn. Like a sail in a storm.

Without you, I’m just a sad song.

You’re the perfect melody, The only harmony I wanna hear.

You’re my favorite part of me,

With you standing next to me, I’ve got nothing to fear.”

“Without you, I feel broke. Like I’m half of a whole.”

“Without you, I’ve got no hand to hold.”

“Without you, I feel torn. Like a sail in a storm.

Without you, I’m just a sad song.

Without you, I feel broke. Like I’m half of a whole.

Without you, I’ve got no hand to hold.

Without you, I feel torn. Like a sail in a storm.

Without you, I’m just a sad song. I’m just a sad song…”

Despite the years apart, you still knew each other well, especially when it came to music. This was probably the best cover the two of you had ever done together. When you finished, there was applause filling the shop.

“Looks like the audience loves us Y/n” The blond boy said.

“They always have Michael” You smiled.

“How’ve you been? It’s been what?”

“Too long. I’m doing good. I’m guessing you are too, from the way your band has took off”

“Yes. It’s been amazing,”

“How are the guys?”

“They’re great. They’d love to see you…I’d like to spend some time with you too…”

“Michael-”

“Just dinner or something?”

“Sorry…I just can't…”

“Y/n…”

“Look Michael. It took me a long time to get over you…I understand why we had to break things off, I mean you had so many people expecting things from you, and management thought I’d be a distraction…but that doesn’t mean that years later, you can just walk into my life again Michael”

“I’m sorry…” Michael said, a pained expression on his face.

“I know Mikey” You said, tears in your eyes. “Take care of yourself ok?”

Before you could turn to go, he pulled your arm to bring you into a tight embrace. You stayed like that for awhile, wrapped in his arms. It felt so nice, brought back so many good memories. But then you pulled away, kissing his cheek.

“Bye Mikey”

“Bye Y/n”

Then you left the store, refusing to loo back. So much for the guitar picks.

…..

Later when you got home, you opened twitter, needing a distraction so you wouldn’t dwell on what just happened.

However the internet was cruel.

As soon as you opened the app you saw that you had gotten over 100 new followers. You were flattered, but knew something had to be up. Sure enough, all over your feed there was a video of you and Michael singing. There were even pictures of you guys hugging and you kissing his cheek. Of course this was all the 5sos fam was talking about.

Who is she?

Oh my gosh its Y/n! Remember when they used to date?

So cute!

Think they’re back together?

These were some of many comments you read. Weird how some fans literally knew everything, you just hoped they were just really old fans who were there from the beginning.

So that was why so many people were following you, and why you were tagged by all these people.

So much for forgetting what happened. You turned off your phone and decided to call it a night, even if it was only 8. You didn’t want to deal with anything now.

…..

The next morning you were woken up by the sound of your phone ringing. You weren’t able to resist last night, and scrolled though everything everyone was saying about you, luckily mostly nice things.

“Hello?” You said groggily. You looked at the clock. 7:30. Who calls so early?

“Miss Y/n?”

“Yes…who is this?”

“My name is Joan. I’m part of the 5sos management?”

This woke you up.

“What? Um…what do you guys want with me?”

“We’d like you to come down and meet with us. We’ll send you the address. Be here in one hour. Believe me, you should come” Then she hung up.

What the hell? Sure enough you received a text message with an address seconds later.

Feeling as though you had no choice, you quickly got dressed and headed down to meet with that goddamn management that you still couldn’t bring yourself to particularly like.

…..

The address was one of those fancy hotels that held a lot of business meetings. Sure enough, the room given to you was a conference room. There was a lady already there, who you were assuming was Joan, and another man you didn’t recognize. Of course management would change, maybe this was a good thing.

“Y/n. So glad you could make it. I’m Joan.” Joan said, standing up to shake your hand then leading you to the table.

“Hello. My name is Mark.” The man shook your hand.

“Hi…so what is this about?” You asked.

“All will be explained in just a bit Y/n. We’re waiting on one more person” Mark smiled.

“Yes and in the meantime, tell us about your former relationship with Michael?” Joan asked calmly, as if she was asking about the weather and not something very personal.

“Me and Michael? Um…we dated for about a year. Then his band started to take off. And people not to different from you thought it would be a good idea for us to break things off. End of story”

Before they could answer, the door burst open and Michael came running in.

“Sorry I’m late! I was-Y/n? What are you doing here?”

“That’s what I’m waiting to find out”

“Michael. Finally. Aright now that we have the both of you together, I’ll get straight to the point. We want the both of you to date”

“Isn’t that our decision” You said while Michael said “Woah”

“For PR purposes of course. We don’t expect you guys to be in a committed relationship based off our request. Listen it will be great for the  both of you. You both used to date before, so news of you guys getting back together will be huge. Already, those pictures from yesterday are all over the place. It will give you both some positive attention. Y/n, you are releasing an album soon are you not? This could give you the perfect opportunity to  gets some publicity-”

“Wait, you’re trying to bribe her? That’s ridiculous! I mean she’d-” Michael practically yelled, but you interrupted him.

“Might just agree. I’m not as famous as you Mikey, and my music is going well, but any attention is kind of needed right now…”

“Very good Y/n-” You also cut Joan off

“Of course I would need to know what exactly this whole “PR relationship” entitle? What do you expect us to do?“

"Everything will be set up of course. Paparazzi sent to the restaurant, they take a few photos. Then of course you guys post some things on social media, make it seem as though you guys are dating. That’s really all there is to it” Mark said.

“So do we have an agreement?” Joan added

You looked at Michael.

“You’re not actually considering this are you?” Michael asked you, completely frazzled.

“Well you wanted to do dinner right? And how bad could it be? I really need this Mikey…”

Michael sighed. “Fine. For you.”

You gave him a hug and he held you tightly.

“Alright. We’ll let you guys know the time and place of your guy’s 'first date’” Joan smiled, seeming pleased.

…..

“Laser tag?” You asked Michael. When they said date, you expected dinner, maybe even a movie, but laser tag? That was the last thing you’d think of

“They may have gave me a say into what we do…” Michael grinned

“You don’t say?” You laughed

“Alright, ready for some fun?” Michael asked while buckling you into one of those heavy jackets.

“I don’t know, ready to get your ass kicked?” You teased

“You wish” Michael said, giving you a wink.

Several hours later, he had two games on you. You couldn’t believe this. And of course, Michael didn’t let you forget it.

“Not so easy to beat am I?” Michael laughed.

“Whatever Mikey…fuck you”

“Why so salty?”

“Shut up. You won, got it. End of story, may we move on?”

“Well I won, so I get a prize don’t I?”

“Prize? What on earth could you-”

You were interrupted when he suddenly smashed his lips against yours, wrapping his arms around your waist to pull you close to him as he continued to kiss you so tenderly and passionately…

“That” He said when you both had pulled away. “I think that’s reward enough. I’m starved, you want some pizza?”

You just smiled, grabbing his hand, as you headed towards the food court.

______________ 

Author’s Note: That was long and ended terribly, I’m sorry. Nevertheless hope you liked it!! -Lydia

Imagine having a discussion with Jared

I take my shoes off as I walk into the living room, Jared is nowhere to be seen, so I immediately know that he’s in his studio. I walk there and only get my head through the door; for once, the room is pretty neat and Jared is concentrated reading something on his laptop. I leave the room quietly and walk into the kitchen to prepare dinner, I’ve been out all day and I’m pretty sure he hasn’t eaten anything.

I’m already finishing dinner when I feel Jared’s hands wrapping me from behind, he leaves a small kiss on my neck and I giggle when his beard tickles me.

“It smells nice” He whispers, and lets go of me to go to the fridge, “You had a nice day?”

“Busy, as always” I mumble, serving pasta on two plates, “Oh, by the way, before I forget, there’s this thing on Friday…”

“What thing?”

“Sarah, from work, it’s her birthday”

“I can’t on Friday, I gotta work with Emma, we’re planning tour dates and venues” He says while taking his plate on one hand and a bottle of water on the other.

“On Friday night?” I ask, narrowing my eyes.

“Yeah, sorry, babe” Jared apologizes, leaving a small kiss on my forehead, “I’ll eat in the studio, I haven’t finish work yet”

I don’t get to say anything, Jared disappears in a second through the hallway back to his studio and I’m left alone in the kitchen. I take my dinner to the living room, I sit in front of the tv and start eating without even turning it on.

Jared has always been a workaholic, so his attitude didn’t surprised me at all. I know I must be used to it by now, but it still hurt that his work came first almost a hundred percent of the time. I have this ghost boyfriend and after working for two years in the same place, they were starting to think I had a great imagination by creating this perfect boyfriend that never shows up for office parties and gatherings.

I’m happy with Jared, I’ve always been, but I just wanted a little attention. I wanted something more than a little chat during dinner, and a kiss before going to sleep, I wanted a real relationship, like the one we had when we first started.

I take my time to finish dinner, I get to rest for a few minutes before I stand to leave everything in the kitchen. When I walk into Jared’s office to get his plate, I notice he hasn’t eaten a thing.

“Do you want me to warm it up for you?” I ask him and he gives a little jump on his sit, surprised by my presence there.

“No, it’s alright, I wasn’t going to keep eaten anyway”

I don’t say a thing, take the dish and walk towards the kitchen. I save what he didn’t ate, and leave his plate with mine in the dishwasher. I lean on the cabinet and feel the tears starting to run all over my face. I was starting to feel like I was living with a stranger.

“Hey!” I hear Jared’s worried voice, his hands going straight to my face, “Are you crying because I didn’t ate your dinner? I’m sorry, it was delicious! I’m just.. not hungry”

“I’m ok, I’m just tired” I mumble avoiding his eyes, “I’ll go to sleep”

I manage to let go of his hands, but when I reach the door, his hand reaches my arm.

“Babe…”

“I’m fine, just let me go to sleep, please”

“How long have we been dating?” He asks, I tilt my head in confusion, so he tries again, “Come on, How long?”

“Three years” I whisper, still confused.

“Three years, and you think I’m gonna believe that you are just tired?” Jared says crossing his arms.

I put my hands in my pockets, waiting for him to let me go again, but seeing that I’m not willing to answer, Jared uses his hand on my arm to pull me to him. His hand rubs my back, while the other goes to my head to caress my hair.

“I just want to sleep, I’m alright” I cry, again.

“I know you’re not, just talk to me” His hands making their way to my face, forcing me to look into his eyes. He’s more than worried and I can see it on how bright his eyes are, he’s scared. “Please” Jared implores me, watching the tears wetting his hands, “Babe…”

“I miss you” I sigh, and he finally breaks.

He’s not the type of guy that holds his emotions back, but every time he breaks, my heart aches. I start feeling goosebumps all over my body, with Jared walking away from me. But now that I’ve started letting all this go, I can’t just stop.

“I barely see you, it’s like you’re married to your work, which is good, I’ve always loved how committed you are, but… I can’t help but feel that I’m alone in this”

I don’t receive an answer, Jared is leaned on the kitchen island and all I can see is his back.

“Every day I get home and do my best to get to you, I know I will hardly ever understand all the stress that you go through with your work, but I just want… I want you to notice me”

“I notice you” He replies, still in the same position, “You know I do”

“Jared, come on! This week, just this week, how many times have you got in bed before 3 am?”

“I’ve been working…”

“Just answer the damn question!” I shout, letting all the pressure go off my chest.

“None” He answers, finally turning around to look at me.

“See?”

His eyes are focused on the door and I see the tears falling freely from his eyes.

“You don’t stop, not even for five minutes, to just sit and talk to me, or eat dinner. Every night I go to bed alone and I can’t stand this solitude anymore”, I take a minute to breath, hoping to get any comment from him, but Jared stays silent, “You’re gonna leave for tour soon, and I’m gonna be alone again, we should be using this little time we have to spend it together”

His eyes are still on the door, maybe thinking of ways to escape this inevitable conversation, the tears keep running and I notice he’s started to bite his bottom lip.

“I’m not the only one to blame” He finally says, and I gasp when his eyes lay on me.

“Oh, so you think I don’t blame myself for everything that is happening? That I don’t spend all those hours alone in bed thinking that maybe it was something I did, or said? There are time when you don’t even touch me, Jared, and it hurts more than your absence and silence”

I know I probably look like shit right now, with my make up all over my face, red eyes and the face wet by the tears, and yet he still looks like a goddamn fallen angel with his contrite expression and tears.

“Do you still love me, Jared? Or we’re just doing this because it feels comfortable?”

His whole body posture and look on his face changes in less than a second from sad to furious, he even laughs for a second, his hands brushing his hair out of his eyes. When he acknowledges how surprised I am by his reaction he laughs again, one of his hands still on his hair.

“Oh, sorry, I thought you were joking” Jared teases, drying his face with his sleeve, “Seriously, I can’t believe you just said that”

“It’s just what I feel” I sob, “You can’t blame me for thinking something like that”

“Of course I can't” I try to focus on the floor so I don’t have to see how annoyed he is, “But it’s my work, you’ve always seen me like this, we’ve been together for three years, so why now? Is there something I need to know? Because I’m seriously lost”

Am I just going mad or is he really trying to imply that I cheated? I would never, ever do that.

I roll my eyes, starting to walk out of the kitchen, but I hear him shouting my name ordering me to come back.

“You started this, now we finish it!!”

I take a few seconds to rub my sleeves on my cheeks, trying to clean my face, but actually thinking that I messed everything up even more. When I return to the kitchen, I meet Jared’s eyes, filled with anger, arms crossed and lying on one of the counters. I feel a shiver down my spine and I fold my arms to recover myself.

“You want me to go on?” I ask him defensive, and once he nods I continue, “You sure?”

“It can’t get any worse”

“There’s no point of me being here, we moved together to actually be together, not to live like we are doing now”

“You’re done?” I nod, and wait for him to organize his ideas, “My turn then”

Jared sighs and starts talking.

“First of all, I’m hurt, how could you possible think that I don’t love you?!” He shouts, and the shivers come back to my body, “I fucking love you, we’ve had the most amazing three years together, we’ve visited all these wonderful places around the world, got through the most difficult situations, and after all this time, I love you the same way I’ve done since day one”

I feel the tears again and I can’t bear his eyes on mine anymore, so I choose to focus on my shoes, Jared sighs again and continues.

“I want everything to be perfect, I spend all my day talking with people, answering emails, organizing simple things that my stupid record label can’t manage and I don’t even realize how time flies around me” He pauses for a minute and I hear his footsteps getting closer to me, but he stops and stands watching me from a distance, “Do you think I like being all day fixing what other people messes up? I even feel guilty by giving that much work to Emma, she’s got to deal with the same shit that I’ve had to all these years and it’s not even her band, it’s mine, I decided to get into this”

Jared shuts a few seconds, waiting for me to make a comment, every time Emma’s name appears in our conversations I don’t react in a good way. I’ve never believed that nothing has happened between them. So Jared just waits for me to make a remarkable comment about how I don’t want to talk about his assistant, but I don’t say a word and he seems shocked.

“No comments on that? Anyway, I’m sure Emma’s topic will come out other time”, Jared shrugs and continues, “I’m tired, all I want is to stop working for a second and get in bed with you, but once I realize that, it’s too late, I can’t even hold my eyes open” Another step and I finally look at him, “I know you’re awake when I get in bed, I know that you stay awake to wait for me, and I’m sorry, you work all day too and…”

“Please, don’t compare my job to yours, you know I loose the fight there”

“I won’t. But, during this whole conversation, have you stopped to think how I must feel?” I nod, but he laughs, this time, I can feel the sadness, “I believe you, but I don’t think you can imagine how I feel with all this situation”

I stay quiet, looking at his bright eyes and I see a small smirk, his hands brush his hair and I notice the tears again.

“I can’t stand it sometimes, having to be all day in that studio” Jared shakes his head, starting to dry his tears again and I feel mine too, he ends up shrugging with a smile and his eyes avoiding mine, “I can’t blame you for all this, it’s all on me, but I can’t just leave my work”

“I know” I sob, “And I’m not gonna force you either”

“I’ll understand if you leave”

When I finally acknowledge what he’s saying, he’s already leaving the kitchen, still using one of his sleeves to dry the tears. My body reacts too late to follow him, and once I get to the studio I hear the click of the lock.

“Jared…?!”

My breathing turns heavy and I feel my knees getting weak. I manage to get to our bedroom and I start crying, letting go all that my chest held on while talking to Jared. I know he can hear my sobbing and how I scream trying to control the tears, but he doesn’t comes to see me.

I’m not leaving him, how could I possibly leave the only person that makes me feel whole? We understand each other, and that’s why we got along so well. We could easily know what the other was feeling just by looking at our faces, but now, even though we were still able to do so, we were ignoring all that we felt.

I take off my clothes and lie in bed just in my underwear, I don’t have the will to get dressed. I spend hours thinking about our relationship, the good and the bad moments and how the whole conversation turned out.

The clock hits five and I haven’t slept a minute, I don’t know how I’m still crying, in silence this time. Small sobs come out from time to time, but I hold my sadness in complete silence. I hear the footsteps on the stairs, yet I don’t move. When Jared starts taking off his clothes I don’t turn to say a word, I just stay in the same position, waiting for him. He gets under the blankets and traces my naked shoulders with his shaking hands. Goose bumps make my body shiver and I start sobbing again.

“For a second…” He says, his voice a little brittle, “I really thought you were going to leave”

“You know I wouldn’t do that” I whisper, turning around to face him, “I love you, and nothing would change that, not even a life away from you”

Jared rests his forehead on mine, his hand tracing my arm and shoulder, while the other holds my face.

“I don’t deserve you” I hear him whisper, and I’m about to protest, but he silents me with his index finger on my lips, “But I love you, we love each other, and we’ll get through this, it’s no the first time we have difficulties”

“It’s the first time you let me leave you”

“You should”

“I won't”

“I know” Jared mumbles, pulling my body closer to him, “And you don’t know how fearful that makes me feel”