i can't with this goddamn band they give me too many feelings

a version of you and a person there who can't remember: pt. 2

•  summary: in which you stumble across long-lost childhood friend jeon jungkook in a therapist’s waiting room and it’s more than a bit awkward for the both of you. (college au)

• word count: 6.2k

• warnings: depression; swearing

→ note: part one is here. enjoy~


Suddenly, Jeon Jungkook is everywhere.

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Sad Song-Michael Clifford

I heard this song and knew I had to put it in something…gotta love We The Kings…This is the Mikey version of the 4/4 where management makes you pr date one of the guys….so ya….enjoy!

You were in desperate need of new guitar picks. You were hopeless at being able to keep anything, honestly if your head wasn’t attached to your body you might loose it. You headed to your favorite music store, to get some new picks and see what new guitars they had. You were eyeing this Yamaha acoustic guitar, when you heard a familiar melody. Someone was playing on one of the pianos. It was “Sad Song” by We The Kings, one of your favorites…actually one you used to listen to quite often after you broke up with someone very special to you. Whoever was playing was good. Really good. You decided to find this mystery player. You headed to where the pianos, where a boy with longer blond hair in a red flannel shirt was playing. You were standing behind him, so you couldn’t see his face. But when he started singing, you instantly knew who this boy was.

“You and I, We’re like fireworks and symphonies exploding in the sky.

With you, I’m alive, Like all the missing pieces of my heart, they finally collide.

So stop time right here in the moonlight, ‘Cause I don’t ever wanna close my eyes.”

He sang in a deep, raspy voice. Then he proceeded to sing the chorus.

“Without you, I feel broke. Like I’m half of a whole.

Without you, I’ve got no hand to hold.

Without you, I feel torn. Like a sail in a storm.

Without you, I’m just a sad song. I’m just a sad song…”

He continued to play, and the sight of this boy who used to mean so much of you pulled at your heart. He hadn’t noticed you were there, so it made it easy for you to join in on the next part.

“With you I fall. It’s like I’m leaving all my past in silhouettes upon the wall.

With you I’m a beautiful mess. It’s like we’re standing hand in hand with all our fears upon the edge.

So stop time right here in the moonlight, ‘Cause I don’t ever wanna close my eyes.”

He didn’t stop playing, and you saw him smile even before he looked at you. He knew your voice just as well as you knew his, and would recognize it anywhere. You finished the rest of the song together.

“Without you, I feel broke. Like I’m half of a whole.

Without you, I’ve got no hand to hold.

Without you, I feel torn. Like a sail in a storm.

Without you, I’m just a sad song.

You’re the perfect melody, The only harmony I wanna hear.

You’re my favorite part of me,

With you standing next to me, I’ve got nothing to fear.”

“Without you, I feel broke. Like I’m half of a whole.”

“Without you, I’ve got no hand to hold.”

“Without you, I feel torn. Like a sail in a storm.

Without you, I’m just a sad song.

Without you, I feel broke. Like I’m half of a whole.

Without you, I’ve got no hand to hold.

Without you, I feel torn. Like a sail in a storm.

Without you, I’m just a sad song. I’m just a sad song…”

Despite the years apart, you still knew each other well, especially when it came to music. This was probably the best cover the two of you had ever done together. When you finished, there was applause filling the shop.

“Looks like the audience loves us Y/n” The blond boy said.

“They always have Michael” You smiled.

“How’ve you been? It’s been what?”

“Too long. I’m doing good. I’m guessing you are too, from the way your band has took off”

“Yes. It’s been amazing,”

“How are the guys?”

“They’re great. They’d love to see you…I’d like to spend some time with you too…”

“Michael-”

“Just dinner or something?”

“Sorry…I just can't…”

“Y/n…”

“Look Michael. It took me a long time to get over you…I understand why we had to break things off, I mean you had so many people expecting things from you, and management thought I’d be a distraction…but that doesn’t mean that years later, you can just walk into my life again Michael”

“I’m sorry…” Michael said, a pained expression on his face.

“I know Mikey” You said, tears in your eyes. “Take care of yourself ok?”

Before you could turn to go, he pulled your arm to bring you into a tight embrace. You stayed like that for awhile, wrapped in his arms. It felt so nice, brought back so many good memories. But then you pulled away, kissing his cheek.

“Bye Mikey”

“Bye Y/n”

Then you left the store, refusing to loo back. So much for the guitar picks.

…..

Later when you got home, you opened twitter, needing a distraction so you wouldn’t dwell on what just happened.

However the internet was cruel.

As soon as you opened the app you saw that you had gotten over 100 new followers. You were flattered, but knew something had to be up. Sure enough, all over your feed there was a video of you and Michael singing. There were even pictures of you guys hugging and you kissing his cheek. Of course this was all the 5sos fam was talking about.

Who is she?

Oh my gosh its Y/n! Remember when they used to date?

So cute!

Think they’re back together?

These were some of many comments you read. Weird how some fans literally knew everything, you just hoped they were just really old fans who were there from the beginning.

So that was why so many people were following you, and why you were tagged by all these people.

So much for forgetting what happened. You turned off your phone and decided to call it a night, even if it was only 8. You didn’t want to deal with anything now.

…..

The next morning you were woken up by the sound of your phone ringing. You weren’t able to resist last night, and scrolled though everything everyone was saying about you, luckily mostly nice things.

“Hello?” You said groggily. You looked at the clock. 7:30. Who calls so early?

“Miss Y/n?”

“Yes…who is this?”

“My name is Joan. I’m part of the 5sos management?”

This woke you up.

“What? Um…what do you guys want with me?”

“We’d like you to come down and meet with us. We’ll send you the address. Be here in one hour. Believe me, you should come” Then she hung up.

What the hell? Sure enough you received a text message with an address seconds later.

Feeling as though you had no choice, you quickly got dressed and headed down to meet with that goddamn management that you still couldn’t bring yourself to particularly like.

…..

The address was one of those fancy hotels that held a lot of business meetings. Sure enough, the room given to you was a conference room. There was a lady already there, who you were assuming was Joan, and another man you didn’t recognize. Of course management would change, maybe this was a good thing.

“Y/n. So glad you could make it. I’m Joan.” Joan said, standing up to shake your hand then leading you to the table.

“Hello. My name is Mark.” The man shook your hand.

“Hi…so what is this about?” You asked.

“All will be explained in just a bit Y/n. We’re waiting on one more person” Mark smiled.

“Yes and in the meantime, tell us about your former relationship with Michael?” Joan asked calmly, as if she was asking about the weather and not something very personal.

“Me and Michael? Um…we dated for about a year. Then his band started to take off. And people not to different from you thought it would be a good idea for us to break things off. End of story”

Before they could answer, the door burst open and Michael came running in.

“Sorry I’m late! I was-Y/n? What are you doing here?”

“That’s what I’m waiting to find out”

“Michael. Finally. Aright now that we have the both of you together, I’ll get straight to the point. We want the both of you to date”

“Isn’t that our decision” You said while Michael said “Woah”

“For PR purposes of course. We don’t expect you guys to be in a committed relationship based off our request. Listen it will be great for the  both of you. You both used to date before, so news of you guys getting back together will be huge. Already, those pictures from yesterday are all over the place. It will give you both some positive attention. Y/n, you are releasing an album soon are you not? This could give you the perfect opportunity to  gets some publicity-”

“Wait, you’re trying to bribe her? That’s ridiculous! I mean she’d-” Michael practically yelled, but you interrupted him.

“Might just agree. I’m not as famous as you Mikey, and my music is going well, but any attention is kind of needed right now…”

“Very good Y/n-” You also cut Joan off

“Of course I would need to know what exactly this whole “PR relationship” entitle? What do you expect us to do?“

"Everything will be set up of course. Paparazzi sent to the restaurant, they take a few photos. Then of course you guys post some things on social media, make it seem as though you guys are dating. That’s really all there is to it” Mark said.

“So do we have an agreement?” Joan added

You looked at Michael.

“You’re not actually considering this are you?” Michael asked you, completely frazzled.

“Well you wanted to do dinner right? And how bad could it be? I really need this Mikey…”

Michael sighed. “Fine. For you.”

You gave him a hug and he held you tightly.

“Alright. We’ll let you guys know the time and place of your guy’s 'first date’” Joan smiled, seeming pleased.

…..

“Laser tag?” You asked Michael. When they said date, you expected dinner, maybe even a movie, but laser tag? That was the last thing you’d think of

“They may have gave me a say into what we do…” Michael grinned

“You don’t say?” You laughed

“Alright, ready for some fun?” Michael asked while buckling you into one of those heavy jackets.

“I don’t know, ready to get your ass kicked?” You teased

“You wish” Michael said, giving you a wink.

Several hours later, he had two games on you. You couldn’t believe this. And of course, Michael didn’t let you forget it.

“Not so easy to beat am I?” Michael laughed.

“Whatever Mikey…fuck you”

“Why so salty?”

“Shut up. You won, got it. End of story, may we move on?”

“Well I won, so I get a prize don’t I?”

“Prize? What on earth could you-”

You were interrupted when he suddenly smashed his lips against yours, wrapping his arms around your waist to pull you close to him as he continued to kiss you so tenderly and passionately…

“That” He said when you both had pulled away. “I think that’s reward enough. I’m starved, you want some pizza?”

You just smiled, grabbing his hand, as you headed towards the food court.

______________ 

Author’s Note: That was long and ended terribly, I’m sorry. Nevertheless hope you liked it!! -Lydia

Behind the scenes of this livetext: Mycroft gets a new phone and identifies Iago via haiku; Iago sees Hamilton; "Pride and Prejudice but in Starfleet" becomes a thing; Iago quits their job; SO MANY PUNS; and it turns out that Mycroft has never finished Avatar: the Last Airbender. A year in the making (I'm not even fucking kidding), I present you with: Iago Reads Wizards At War (lightly edited for ease of reading)
  • Mycroft: Better start bracing yourself for book 8 now
  • Iago: Oh sweet Jesus
  • Mycroft: There, no you can't say I didn't warn you
  • Iago: But you /know/ it's funnier when I get to threaten you with gruesome death!
  • Iago: Are you ready for this?
  • Iago: ...one of the chapter titles is "Acceptable Losses". /I/ am not ready for this.
  • Iago: Nita needs a vacation from her vacation. Nita sweetie...
  • Iago: "Neets, is it true he destroyed a whole alien culture in just ten days?" Carmela Rodriguez is my Patronus
  • Mycroft: Right?
  • Mycroft: She just keeps getting better
  • Iago: Roll call at the Callahan home: "three humans, one humanoid, one tree, and one giant bug" and I'm quietly cackling in public
  • Iago: "The centipede pointed a couple spare eyes at the Christmas tree." Taken out of context, I think that may be the most bizarre sentence I've ever read. In context, it makes perfect sense. I don't know which amuses me more.
  • Mycroft: Yesssss
  • Iago: "But her mom had loved those lilacs, and wouldn't be seeing them again." OKAY OW
  • Iago: Oh sweet minty Jesus
  • Iago: You weren't wrong.
  • Iago: And I wasn't prepared.
  • Mycroft: So not prepared
  • Mycroft: What's that in response to specifically?
  • Iago: Basically the entire series of events leading to Kit and Nita becoming Seniors
  • Mycroft: BASICALLY
  • Mycroft: IT'S ALL GONE TO SHIT
  • Iago: Descriptions of wizardries in action never fail to be beautiful
  • Iago: "The changes in the structure of space then start affecting the thought processes and reactions of all living beings in the area. Their behavior will start to become less and less rational...less committed to Life."
  • SHE WROTE THIS BOOK OVER A DECADE AGO HOW IS IT SO RELEVANT RIGHT NOW
  • Mycroft: Oh you have no idea
  • Iago: God help my soul
  • Mycroft: So yes, welcome to Tom's Wizardly PowerPoint of universal doom
  • Iago: I should just go see Moana again. It's far less depressing
  • Iago: "Uh-oh". Now Nita's getting in on it
  • Mycroft: Indeed
  • Iago: Looks like Nita's playing "fake it 'til you make it"
  • Iago: I don't know if that's good or bad, to be honest
  • Mycroft: Fairly characteristic tho
  • Iago: True
  • Iago: "...yet another lollipop sticking out of his face." That is the greatest description of someone with a sucker in their mouth that I've ever witnessed
  • Mycroft: Roshaun and his lollipop addiction
  • Mycroft: The real OTP
  • Iago: *chokes* oh my gOD
  • Iago: Sker'ret just called Nita "Senior". I think both Nita and I had a quick internal freak-out
  • Iago: THEY STILL HAVE BETTY CALLAHAN'S NUMBER IN THEIR HOME PHONE I'M GOING TO GO CRY IN A CORNER
  • Mycroft: ;__;
  • Iago: "The universe has started expanding too fast, and we have to stop it before it tears itself apart."
  • "Um. Okay, I see why you might need a few extra days off for that."
  • *slightly hysterical laughter*
  • Mycroft: Same
  • Iago: "Two weeks to save the universe". Sounds like an album title
  • Mycroft: I'd listen to it
  • Iago: "What /is/ grenfelzing, exactly?"
  • "It's kind of like emmfozing, but with chocolate."
  • Have I ever mentioned that I both hate and love your ability to quote these goddamn books at me when I ask questions?
  • Mycroft: I can't recall, but I'm glad to hear it
  • Mycroft: Also I mean that's the only canon explanation so really, what else could I say
  • Iago: But you quoted it /word for word/
  • Mycroft: Admittedly, that was at least partially For The Meme
  • Iago: I'll allow it
  • Iago: "...a brief, profound case of amnesia. They'd instantly forgotten why they were there" sounds like my life
  • Iago: Oh my god what is Spot doing with the TV
  • Iago: *whispers* How bad is it that my mind is currently in the gutter
  • Mycroft: Dataaaaaa
  • Iago: AM I JUST A PERVERT OR DOES THAT SOUND INCREDIBLY DIRTY
  • Mycroft: It's certainly something
  • Iago: "But most of the aliens are here for the cocoa plants." Well, I can't exactly blame them...
  • Iago: Carmela Rodriguez remains a gift
  • Iago: Oh god Ronan's back
  • Mycroft: Yessssss Carmela and Ronan
  • Mycroft: A dangerous combination
  • Iago: Ronan keeps the Spear in a pen
  • Iago: *checks date published*
  • Iago: Feels a bit Percy Jackson to me
  • Iago: Carmela has the insta-hots for Ronan. This is gonna be fun
  • Iago: "The fucking heir of an almighty something or other" is still a really good description for Roshaun. In case you were wondering if I had warmed up to him any more
  • Iago: WHALE
  • Iago: WHALE ON THE MOON
  • Iago: Whale On The Moon is the name of my new techno jazz band
  • Mycroft: Can I join?
  • Mycroft: I'll learn any new instrument you need
  • Iago: ...having thought about it, I'm legitimately not certain what instruments would be /played/ in a techno jazz band. So, I mean, if you want to learn the synthesizer...
  • Iago: Young Wizards book 8 alternate title: Wizards' Reunion
  • Iago: Lots of air quotes going on right now
  • Iago: ....I want Darryl's manual
  • Iago: "Where's your adjunct talent?"
  • "Playing with rocks, as usual."
  • Okay now I really want a puppy
  • Iago: "Twychild". Have I mentioned lately that the worldbuilding in these books gives me a case of the warm fuzzies?
  • Mycroft: Yesssss Tuyet and Nguyet
  • Iago: *whispers* Why is there a thought-voice talking in second-person in Kit's head
  • Iago: The description of Roshaun's living space send help
  • Iago: "A three-way collision between an antique furniture warehouse, a jewelry story, and a Gothic cathedral carved and decorated by the artistically insane."
  • Iago: So my brain has given Roshaun's father the voice of Mark Hamill.
  • Iago: There's a decent chance I'm going to just call him the Phoenix King
  • Iago: "Speaking truth to power is never 'out'." DAIRINE REMAINS GOD
  • Iago: (Also if I ever go to a protest I'm putting that on my sign.)
  • Mycroft: Yessss do it
  • Mycroft: And which kind of Mark Hamill are we talking here: Skywalker, Firelord or Joker?
  • Iago: Firelord. Thus the Phoenix King comment
  • Iago: Oh my god Dairine in the face of implications that she and Roshaun are ~involved~
  • Mycroft: Blessss
  • Iago: "You tell those people that they are completely nuts!"
  • Iago: Did...did Roshaun just /whine/ at his mother?
  • Mycroft: Yes
  • Mycroft: Not so dignified now
  • Iago: *falls off the table in laughter*
  • Iago: Oh god is Roshaun developing a Thing for Dairine
  • Mycroft: WELCOME TO THE MADDENING AMBIGUITY
  • Iago: MADDENING AMBIGUITY IS THE NAME OF MY NEW POLITICAL PUNK BAND
  • Mycroft: Bless
  • Iago: This is my favorite game
  • Mycroft: I know a fair few YW fans who have a particular talent for it
  • Iago: I have a list. I use them in my stories for bands my characters like
  • Mycroft: Most excellent
  • Iago: Ponch wants blue food
  • Mycroft: As do we all
  • Iago: I /could/ go for some blue Jolly Ranchers
  • Iago: Ponch, to Ronan: "You two just talk among yourselves."
  • Dog sass is best sass
  • Iago: "It's math, Kit, but not as we know it."
  • SHE. SHE JUST. SHE FUCKING DID THAT ON PURPOSE
  • Iago: I'm going to go curl up in a corner and cry with laughter now
  • Mycroft: Yup
  • Mycroft: What a nerd, right
  • Iago: Pot, kettle
  • Iago: Oh shit Sker'ret is having a fight with his parent
  • Iago: ...I currently have a desire to cuddle what amounts to a giant centipede. What have you done to me
  • Mycroft: The magic of Young Wizards
  • Iago: That was terrible
  • Iago: But, then again, I love terrible
  • Iago: Okay so the description of dark matter
  • Mycroft: Yes?
  • Iago: I feel like I have something crawling around under my skin
  • Mycroft: It's unsettling, isn't it
  • Mycroft: That gets worse
  • Iago: Oh god
  • Iago: "Nita for the first time actually saw someone else look out of Ronan's eyes. The expression was one of recognition coupled with a very controlled anger. The one who looked out had seen something like this before."
  • Oh. Shit. Oh /shit/.
  • Mycroft: Yessssss
  • Mycroft: Shit just got real
  • Iago: I am not prepared for this
  • Mycroft: Correct
  • Iago: GIGO
  • Mycroft: :D
  • Iago: "For transits like this, we temporarily rewrite the kernel that manages local gravity and mass in our solar system. It's no big deal."
  • oh my gOD
  • Iago: They are actually Dairine's children
  • Mycroft: They've been busy since we last saw them
  • Mycroft: And it's awesome
  • Iago: "A world of true computer wizards" get the fuck out
  • Iago: They're actually calling her Mother s e n d h e l p
  • Mycroft: RIGHT
  • Iago: I'm not crying you're crying
  • Mycroft: I'm not crying I'm eating a quaesadilla
  • Mycroft: The crying one must be you
  • Iago: Well I can't see to tell you so who knows
  • Iago: "Guys," [Dairine] said after a moment, "you make me proud."
  • "That is our other purpose," Beanpole said. "Our first one."
  • Iago: I A M D E A D
  • Mycroft: I knowwww
  • Iago: "Life's all the time sending /me/ messages I can't read." [Dairine] flicked just a second's glance at Roshaun, who she was starting to think was yet another of those messages.
  • Iago: Oh lordy
  • Iago: Oh god above send help
  • Iago: Spot's becoming less of a machine, more alive. I don't know if I'm in support of this change
  • Mycroft: Everyone needs upgrades now and then :P
  • Iago: I don't like change
  • Iago: I kind of adore the mobiles all bowing to Dairine
  • Iago: Roshaun raised his eyebrows and produced another lollipop, which he held out to her.
  • "How many of those things do you have?" Dairine said.
  • "Not nearly enough," Roshaun said.
  • Iago: Please excuse me while I go laugh myself sick
  • Mycroft: Roshaun has his priorities in order
  • Mycroft: There was always a jar of lollipops on hand at CrossingsCon in his honor
  • Iago: Perfect
  • Iago: "I'll give you a dysfunction where you'll have trouble finding it again."
  • Totally stealing that don't even care
  • Mycroft: Excellent
  • Iago: "I may be a mother, but you are /mine/."
  • Maybe I didn't take enough time to recover after finishing The Slow Regard of Silent Things I'm going to go collapse in an emotional heap
  • Mycroft: So many Dairine feels, I knowww
  • Iago: "Enthusiasmic incorporation of the Hesper--"
  • What? What?! What does it say? What does it mean? I NEED TO KNOW
  • Mycroft: [rubs hands together; evil laughter] I'M SAYING NOTHING
  • Iago: Oh god is time moving faster on Metemne
  • Mycroft: MAYBE
  • Iago: Oh fuck it's relativity isn't it. Because they're near the source of the dark matter, they're moving faster than the rest of the Universe
  • Mycroft: Very possible
  • Iago: Oh no. Introduction of Della Cantrell and MY EMOTIONS CAN'T TAKE THIS HALP
  • Mycroft: Oh boy
  • Iago: Nita's phone call to her dad. Direct hit to the feels.
  • Mycroft: Harry Callahan is such a good dad
  • Iago: That is part of why it hurts so much
  • Iago: "Nita, could you please get off me before we accidentally become more than just good friends?"
  • *cackles maniacally*
  • Mycroft: BEST
  • Iago: Holy fucking sHIT ALMOND SPIDERS WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK
  • Mycroft: Wait what
  • Mycroft: Remind me of the context for that
  • Iago: On Rashah. The creatures destroying the trees are almond-shaped and have eight legs. Almond spiders
  • Mycroft: Oh ok that's what I figured
  • Mycroft: HELLO TO OUR TERRIFYING NEW ALIEN FRIENDS
  • Iago: ALMOND SPIDERS. WHY.
  • Mycroft: WHY NOT
  • Iago: "They've been fighting each other, on and off, for /millions/ of years?"
  • "They must be really enjoying it, to keep the war going so long."
  • Sker'ret is so great
  • Mycroft: Rashah is not exactly a great vacation destination, that's for sure
  • Iago: Oh sweet minty Jesus the almond spiders are a remnant after an atomic holocaust I need a drink
  • Iago: And...they're all avatars...of the Lone Wanker. Better make that two drinks.
  • Mycroft: WELCOME TO RADIOACTIVE POSSESSED WAR-MONGERING GIANT SPIDER CULT WORLD
  • Mycroft: ENJOY YOUR STAY
  • Iago: Where is Nita's dad
  • Iago: I am Concerned
  • Iago: Also
  • Iago: I will never get tired of the "check your spelling" joke
  • Mycroft: Same
  • Iago: "Words had just failed Dairine." Gods above have mercy on us all
  • Mycroft: I appreciate that the narration pauses to note how unthinkable that is
  • Iago: Also, a "bright" version of the Lone Power
  • Iago: What does that mean
  • Iago: Why is bright in quotes
  • Mycroft: To indicate it's kind of a rough description of a more complex subject, mostly
  • Iago: But does it mean that we're getting a version of the Lone Power that's more on the good side or a version that's worse than usual
  • Mycroft: There's more explanation later, but basically picture the LP's non-evil twin
  • Mycroft: Like its opposite, basically
  • Iago: I thought /you/ were refusing to give spoilers
  • Mycroft: Meh, I saw that as more clarification on what you already read, ymmv
  • Mycroft: But stay tuned
  • Iago: Well obviously
  • Iago: Nita doesn't like shooting people who are shooting at her
  • Mycroft: Krakens don't count but I don't think they were as sentient
  • Iago: "I'm a wizard, not an engineer" goddammit /again/?!
  • Mycroft: Yesss
  • Iago: I shall take myself off to the laughing corner
  • Iago: Oh god self-destruct at the Crossings
  • Mycroft: Kind of a terrifying prospect
  • Iago: Nita just blew up a giant gun
  • Mycroft: Yesss
  • Iago: "High-fiving a giant centipede can take a while."
  • Up next on Winning Understatements....
  • Mycroft: That is so fun to picture
  • Iago: I know!
  • Iago: "I don't wear socks."
  • "Just as well. You'd bankrupt yourself."
  • That is /also/ fun to picture
  • Mycroft: As an antidote to the tense battle scene, have a bunch of centipede leg jokes
  • Iago: Pretty much
  • Iago: Wait
  • Iago: /Carmela/?!
  • Mycroft: Hahahaha yesss
  • Mycroft: THE GLORIOUS RETURN
  • Iago: What
  • Iago: WHAT
  • Iago: Okay, Sker'ret just /swallowed/ the self-destruct panel
  • Mycroft: He's got a talent for that kind of thing
  • Iago: Which, I mean, okay, great way to not lose it
  • Iago: But
  • Iago: Can't he digest, like, /everything/?
  • Iago: And the self-destruct sequence is still going?
  • Iago: What happens if he takes too long to get the panel back out?
  • Mycroft: Rirhait stomach work in mysterious ways
  • Iago: ...is that the canon explanation or your way of saying "don't think about it too hard"
  • Mycroft: Yes
  • Iago: Why did I let you talk me into this
  • Mycroft: Because it's awesome, come on
  • Iago: Ugh
  • Iago: *quiet noises of agreement*
  • Iago: "So I took steps." CARMELA
  • Iago: (Carmela is the reason I let you talk me into this.)
  • Mycroft: That's the best answer
  • Mycroft: This book is Peak Carmela honestly
  • Iago: *whispers emphatically* Juanita Louise
  • Mycroft: Yessssss
  • Iago: Carmela just referred to Filif as "my favorite Christmas tree" and Carmela is all of us in that moment
  • Mycroft: So true
  • Mycroft: Filif is tree-mendous
  • Iago: I fucking hate you so much right now. :b
  • Mycroft: :D
  • Iago: "We are on errantry, and we greet you."
  • "Not that you particularly /merit/ greeting." Nita pls
  • Mycroft: She's earned the right to some snark, I'd say
  • Iago: Clearly
  • Iago: "You get more honey with flies. Wait a minute, that's not how it goes." CARMELA PLS
  • Mycroft: Oh my god
  • Mycroft: Get ready for another legendary Carmela moment
  • Iago: IS SHE BRIBING THE TAWALF WITH CHOCOLATE
  • Iago: FUCKING SHIT YES SHE IS
  • Mycroft: YEAH
  • Mycroft: And now you know why this book made Carmela everyone's favorite
  • Iago: I'M SO PLEASED WITH THIS
  • Iago: I mean Dairine is always going to be my eternal favorite but yeah Carmela's a close second
  • Mycroft: Relatable
  • Iago: Oh my god now she's threatening to /eat/ the chocolate right in front of them I'm crying
  • Mycroft: I KNOW RIGHT
  • Iago: Ponch the almond spider is trying to catch his non-existent tail
  • Mycroft: Omfg I forgot about that
  • Iago: It's a hilarious picture
  • Iago: I think I just witnessed a cult gathering
  • Iago: "You let me worry about this planet, and I'll let you worry about all the others." HARRY CALLAHAN IS BEST DAD
  • Mycroft: THE VERY BEST
  • Iago: NO
  • Iago: NONONONONO
  • Iago: TOM AND CARL HAVE FORGOTTEN THEIR WIZARDRY
  • Mycroft: AH YOU'VE GOTTEN TO THAT PART
  • Mycroft: WELCOME TO HEARTBREAK CITY, POPULATION YOU
  • Mycroft: And also Nita
  • Iago: S E N D H E L P
  • Iago: Wait are Rirhait mostly purple
  • Iago: Because if yes than they are my new favorites
  • Mycroft: They also come in blue, green, and pink, but yeah
  • Mycroft: I'm pretty sure Sker'ret in particular is purple
  • Iago: Well I saw that but the book makes a point to say that there are a /lot/ of shades of purple and I fucking love purple
  • Mycroft: You're in luck, then
  • Iago: "I would never lose my balance. I am a paragon of grace and stability."
  • "Oh, yeah. Who said /that/?"
  • "Roshaun."
  • Someone help me
  • Iago: I cannot
  • Mycroft: Pffft
  • Mycroft: Classic Roshaun
  • Iago: Kit is hiding his eyes from "sex stuff" and I'm laughing
  • Iago: "My dog brings home strays." Kit your dog is a fucking gift
  • Iago: A ducking gift who knows how to work a situation to get dog treats
  • Iago: And...and then he gave the treat to the Yaldiv that he brought home.
  • Iago: Ponch is a good dog.
  • Mycroft: Ponch is a good dog
  • Iago: "What is it with these Callahan women that they're always after yelling at you and giving you grief?"
  • "Not always. Just when it's going to get most on your nerves."
  • Kit just be glad Nita isn't here because she'd sock you
  • Iago: Oh
  • Iago: Oh shit
  • Iago: Just head the story of the dogs' Choice
  • Iago: And
  • Iago: everything is fine
  • Iago: EVERYTHING IS FINE MYCROFT
  • Mycroft: E V E R Y T H I N G I S F I N E
  • Iago: "Even when people mean to do good things, bad things happen in the world."
  • "They're happening already. Pretending they're not won't help."
  • Memeki the almond spider is speaking to my soul I'm gonna go start a revolution now
  • Mycroft: Yes please do
  • Iago: ALMOND SPIDER ATTACK OH GOD
  • Mycroft: I'm greatly enjoying your dedication to calling the Yaldiv almond spiders
  • Iago: NITA AND CARMELA TO THE RESCUE FUCK YEAH
  • Iago: WAIT WAS THE "THING" NITA WAS SUPPOSED TO GO BACK AND GET ACTUALLY /CARMELA/?!
  • Iago: BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE THE FUCKING GREATEST
  • Iago: Also
  • Iago: What does it mean that Memeki was honored by the Great One
  • Iago: Is she pregnant
  • Iago: Is she being nommed from the inside
  • Iago: Oh. Oh shit. What does Memeki mean by "my time"
  • Iago: CALLED IT ASSFACES
  • Iago: I mean
  • Iago: She's not currently getting et
  • Iago: But
  • Iago: Eggses
  • Iago: EGGSES, PRECIOUS
  • Iago: ACK NO WHY WITH THE MEMORIES OF BETTY I AM NEVER PREPARED FOR THOSE
  • Iago: Okay apparently the thing Nita was supposed to bring was /not/ in fact Carmela but rather hEART-WRENCHING MEMORIES OF HER MOTHER'S DEATH
  • Iago: Oh god Carmela is yanking Kit's chain about having found a manual and I'm experiencing emotional whiplash halp
  • Mycroft: Carmela is dedicated to yanking as many chains as possible, the audience's included
  • Iago: THEY'RE ALL LOST THEIR WIZARDRY SEND HELP
  • Iago: ROSHAUN IS ON HIS DIGNITY SEND A DIFFERENT KIND OF HELP
  • Iago: *inhuman screeching*
  • Iago: ACK NO YOU ABSOLUTE WANKHOLE GET YOUR DIRTY POWERS OFF CARMELA
  • Iago: "Oops," said Carmela...and, very slowly, smiled.
  • Mycroft: OOPS
  • Mycroft: The holy grail of Carmela badass
  • Iago: *screams a lot*
  • Iago: *so much screaming*
  • Iago: Oh, now This Bitch is rising from the ashes, because obviously
  • Iago: *snarls a lot*
  • Iago: *basically continuous snarling*
  • Iago: RONAN
  • Iago: R O N A N
  • Iago: *screams forever*
  • Iago: *interrupts eternal screaming for a breath* oh yes Sker'ret is in fact purple *continues screaming*
  • Iago: ROSHAUN WHAT ARE YOU DOING
  • Iago: ROSHAUN
  • Mycroft: ROSHAAAAUN
  • Iago: *still screaming*
  • Iago: WHAT THE HAP IS FUCKENING
  • Iago: WHY IS THE TRANSCENDENT PIG HERE
  • Iago: WHY IS PONCH A SHADOW DOG
  • Iago: P O N C H
  • Iago: PONCH IS SUCH A GOOD DOG
  • Mycroft: PONCH IS THE BEST DOG
  • Iago: *cries forever*
  • Iago: *is also still screaming*
  • Iago: TOM AND CARL ARE BACK
  • Iago: BUT ON THE OTHER HAND PONCH
  • Iago: PONCH
  • Iago: PONCH IS BACK
  • Iago: HE'S A SHEEPDOG NOW BUT HE'S PONCH
  • Iago: TOTALLY CRYING RIGHT NOW BECAUSE IT'S ALWAYS THE ANIMALS THAT GET TO ME
  • Iago: IT'S THE END OF THE BOOK AND THE DOG TECHNICALLY DIDN'T DIE
  • Mycroft: The dog did the opposite of dying, ultimately
  • Iago: PLEASE EXCUSE ME WHILE I COLLAPSE ON THIS BED AND SOB WITH JOY
  • Iago: Okay I'm going to go collapse in an emotionally exhausted heap and probably read all of A Wizard of Mars tomorrow. So. Be ready for that.
  • Mycroft: CONGRATS you made it to the last stop on the emotional roller coaster that is Wizards at War
  • Mycroft: You win a free trip to Mars
  • Mycroft: Where definitely nothing will go wrong

Imagine having a discussion with Jared

I take my shoes off as I walk into the living room, Jared is nowhere to be seen, so I immediately know that he’s in his studio. I walk there and only get my head through the door; for once, the room is pretty neat and Jared is concentrated reading something on his laptop. I leave the room quietly and walk into the kitchen to prepare dinner, I’ve been out all day and I’m pretty sure he hasn’t eaten anything.

I’m already finishing dinner when I feel Jared’s hands wrapping me from behind, he leaves a small kiss on my neck and I giggle when his beard tickles me.

“It smells nice” He whispers, and lets go of me to go to the fridge, “You had a nice day?”

“Busy, as always” I mumble, serving pasta on two plates, “Oh, by the way, before I forget, there’s this thing on Friday…”

“What thing?”

“Sarah, from work, it’s her birthday”

“I can’t on Friday, I gotta work with Emma, we’re planning tour dates and venues” He says while taking his plate on one hand and a bottle of water on the other.

“On Friday night?” I ask, narrowing my eyes.

“Yeah, sorry, babe” Jared apologizes, leaving a small kiss on my forehead, “I’ll eat in the studio, I haven’t finish work yet”

I don’t get to say anything, Jared disappears in a second through the hallway back to his studio and I’m left alone in the kitchen. I take my dinner to the living room, I sit in front of the tv and start eating without even turning it on.

Jared has always been a workaholic, so his attitude didn’t surprised me at all. I know I must be used to it by now, but it still hurt that his work came first almost a hundred percent of the time. I have this ghost boyfriend and after working for two years in the same place, they were starting to think I had a great imagination by creating this perfect boyfriend that never shows up for office parties and gatherings.

I’m happy with Jared, I’ve always been, but I just wanted a little attention. I wanted something more than a little chat during dinner, and a kiss before going to sleep, I wanted a real relationship, like the one we had when we first started.

I take my time to finish dinner, I get to rest for a few minutes before I stand to leave everything in the kitchen. When I walk into Jared’s office to get his plate, I notice he hasn’t eaten a thing.

“Do you want me to warm it up for you?” I ask him and he gives a little jump on his sit, surprised by my presence there.

“No, it’s alright, I wasn’t going to keep eaten anyway”

I don’t say a thing, take the dish and walk towards the kitchen. I save what he didn’t ate, and leave his plate with mine in the dishwasher. I lean on the cabinet and feel the tears starting to run all over my face. I was starting to feel like I was living with a stranger.

“Hey!” I hear Jared’s worried voice, his hands going straight to my face, “Are you crying because I didn’t ate your dinner? I’m sorry, it was delicious! I’m just.. not hungry”

“I’m ok, I’m just tired” I mumble avoiding his eyes, “I’ll go to sleep”

I manage to let go of his hands, but when I reach the door, his hand reaches my arm.

“Babe…”

“I’m fine, just let me go to sleep, please”

“How long have we been dating?” He asks, I tilt my head in confusion, so he tries again, “Come on, How long?”

“Three years” I whisper, still confused.

“Three years, and you think I’m gonna believe that you are just tired?” Jared says crossing his arms.

I put my hands in my pockets, waiting for him to let me go again, but seeing that I’m not willing to answer, Jared uses his hand on my arm to pull me to him. His hand rubs my back, while the other goes to my head to caress my hair.

“I just want to sleep, I’m alright” I cry, again.

“I know you’re not, just talk to me” His hands making their way to my face, forcing me to look into his eyes. He’s more than worried and I can see it on how bright his eyes are, he’s scared. “Please” Jared implores me, watching the tears wetting his hands, “Babe…”

“I miss you” I sigh, and he finally breaks.

He’s not the type of guy that holds his emotions back, but every time he breaks, my heart aches. I start feeling goosebumps all over my body, with Jared walking away from me. But now that I’ve started letting all this go, I can’t just stop.

“I barely see you, it’s like you’re married to your work, which is good, I’ve always loved how committed you are, but… I can’t help but feel that I’m alone in this”

I don’t receive an answer, Jared is leaned on the kitchen island and all I can see is his back.

“Every day I get home and do my best to get to you, I know I will hardly ever understand all the stress that you go through with your work, but I just want… I want you to notice me”

“I notice you” He replies, still in the same position, “You know I do”

“Jared, come on! This week, just this week, how many times have you got in bed before 3 am?”

“I’ve been working…”

“Just answer the damn question!” I shout, letting all the pressure go off my chest.

“None” He answers, finally turning around to look at me.

“See?”

His eyes are focused on the door and I see the tears falling freely from his eyes.

“You don’t stop, not even for five minutes, to just sit and talk to me, or eat dinner. Every night I go to bed alone and I can’t stand this solitude anymore”, I take a minute to breath, hoping to get any comment from him, but Jared stays silent, “You’re gonna leave for tour soon, and I’m gonna be alone again, we should be using this little time we have to spend it together”

His eyes are still on the door, maybe thinking of ways to escape this inevitable conversation, the tears keep running and I notice he’s started to bite his bottom lip.

“I’m not the only one to blame” He finally says, and I gasp when his eyes lay on me.

“Oh, so you think I don’t blame myself for everything that is happening? That I don’t spend all those hours alone in bed thinking that maybe it was something I did, or said? There are time when you don’t even touch me, Jared, and it hurts more than your absence and silence”

I know I probably look like shit right now, with my make up all over my face, red eyes and the face wet by the tears, and yet he still looks like a goddamn fallen angel with his contrite expression and tears.

“Do you still love me, Jared? Or we’re just doing this because it feels comfortable?”

His whole body posture and look on his face changes in less than a second from sad to furious, he even laughs for a second, his hands brushing his hair out of his eyes. When he acknowledges how surprised I am by his reaction he laughs again, one of his hands still on his hair.

“Oh, sorry, I thought you were joking” Jared teases, drying his face with his sleeve, “Seriously, I can’t believe you just said that”

“It’s just what I feel” I sob, “You can’t blame me for thinking something like that”

“Of course I can't” I try to focus on the floor so I don’t have to see how annoyed he is, “But it’s my work, you’ve always seen me like this, we’ve been together for three years, so why now? Is there something I need to know? Because I’m seriously lost”

Am I just going mad or is he really trying to imply that I cheated? I would never, ever do that.

I roll my eyes, starting to walk out of the kitchen, but I hear him shouting my name ordering me to come back.

“You started this, now we finish it!!”

I take a few seconds to rub my sleeves on my cheeks, trying to clean my face, but actually thinking that I messed everything up even more. When I return to the kitchen, I meet Jared’s eyes, filled with anger, arms crossed and lying on one of the counters. I feel a shiver down my spine and I fold my arms to recover myself.

“You want me to go on?” I ask him defensive, and once he nods I continue, “You sure?”

“It can’t get any worse”

“There’s no point of me being here, we moved together to actually be together, not to live like we are doing now”

“You’re done?” I nod, and wait for him to organize his ideas, “My turn then”

Jared sighs and starts talking.

“First of all, I’m hurt, how could you possible think that I don’t love you?!” He shouts, and the shivers come back to my body, “I fucking love you, we’ve had the most amazing three years together, we’ve visited all these wonderful places around the world, got through the most difficult situations, and after all this time, I love you the same way I’ve done since day one”

I feel the tears again and I can’t bear his eyes on mine anymore, so I choose to focus on my shoes, Jared sighs again and continues.

“I want everything to be perfect, I spend all my day talking with people, answering emails, organizing simple things that my stupid record label can’t manage and I don’t even realize how time flies around me” He pauses for a minute and I hear his footsteps getting closer to me, but he stops and stands watching me from a distance, “Do you think I like being all day fixing what other people messes up? I even feel guilty by giving that much work to Emma, she’s got to deal with the same shit that I’ve had to all these years and it’s not even her band, it’s mine, I decided to get into this”

Jared shuts a few seconds, waiting for me to make a comment, every time Emma’s name appears in our conversations I don’t react in a good way. I’ve never believed that nothing has happened between them. So Jared just waits for me to make a remarkable comment about how I don’t want to talk about his assistant, but I don’t say a word and he seems shocked.

“No comments on that? Anyway, I’m sure Emma’s topic will come out other time”, Jared shrugs and continues, “I’m tired, all I want is to stop working for a second and get in bed with you, but once I realize that, it’s too late, I can’t even hold my eyes open” Another step and I finally look at him, “I know you’re awake when I get in bed, I know that you stay awake to wait for me, and I’m sorry, you work all day too and…”

“Please, don’t compare my job to yours, you know I loose the fight there”

“I won’t. But, during this whole conversation, have you stopped to think how I must feel?” I nod, but he laughs, this time, I can feel the sadness, “I believe you, but I don’t think you can imagine how I feel with all this situation”

I stay quiet, looking at his bright eyes and I see a small smirk, his hands brush his hair and I notice the tears again.

“I can’t stand it sometimes, having to be all day in that studio” Jared shakes his head, starting to dry his tears again and I feel mine too, he ends up shrugging with a smile and his eyes avoiding mine, “I can’t blame you for all this, it’s all on me, but I can’t just leave my work”

“I know” I sob, “And I’m not gonna force you either”

“I’ll understand if you leave”

When I finally acknowledge what he’s saying, he’s already leaving the kitchen, still using one of his sleeves to dry the tears. My body reacts too late to follow him, and once I get to the studio I hear the click of the lock.

“Jared…?!”

My breathing turns heavy and I feel my knees getting weak. I manage to get to our bedroom and I start crying, letting go all that my chest held on while talking to Jared. I know he can hear my sobbing and how I scream trying to control the tears, but he doesn’t comes to see me.

I’m not leaving him, how could I possibly leave the only person that makes me feel whole? We understand each other, and that’s why we got along so well. We could easily know what the other was feeling just by looking at our faces, but now, even though we were still able to do so, we were ignoring all that we felt.

I take off my clothes and lie in bed just in my underwear, I don’t have the will to get dressed. I spend hours thinking about our relationship, the good and the bad moments and how the whole conversation turned out.

The clock hits five and I haven’t slept a minute, I don’t know how I’m still crying, in silence this time. Small sobs come out from time to time, but I hold my sadness in complete silence. I hear the footsteps on the stairs, yet I don’t move. When Jared starts taking off his clothes I don’t turn to say a word, I just stay in the same position, waiting for him. He gets under the blankets and traces my naked shoulders with his shaking hands. Goose bumps make my body shiver and I start sobbing again.

“For a second…” He says, his voice a little brittle, “I really thought you were going to leave”

“You know I wouldn’t do that” I whisper, turning around to face him, “I love you, and nothing would change that, not even a life away from you”

Jared rests his forehead on mine, his hand tracing my arm and shoulder, while the other holds my face.

“I don’t deserve you” I hear him whisper, and I’m about to protest, but he silents me with his index finger on my lips, “But I love you, we love each other, and we’ll get through this, it’s no the first time we have difficulties”

“It’s the first time you let me leave you”

“You should”

“I won't”

“I know” Jared mumbles, pulling my body closer to him, “And you don’t know how fearful that makes me feel”

raynwater  asked:

Just still really depressed rn about the possible future state of Hannigram, I swing back and forth between hope and depression x)

I think the hardest thing is keeping in mind that violence does not equal ‘bad’ in hannigram. 

We may see Hannibal cutting open Will’s head and go ‘omg that’s terrible how can they possibly recover from this?!’ 

But… by Hannibal’s own standards, he’s not doing anything wrong. And Will is able to forgive him because he knows this, too; he knows Hannibal is just following his nature, and it’s no more wrong for him to kill than it is for a shark. Fish gotta swim, birds gotta fly, Hannibal gotta murder. 

(And also, yeah, of course, he’s a sadist, he enjoys inflicting emotional pain, that’s the seasoning in his meat – in many ways, his most dangerous weapons are his words, not his hands. But feeling ‘betrayed’ or ‘hurt’ by Hannibal’s actions is fruitless, it’s pouring fuel on the fire, it’s just giving him what he wants. And Will never gives Hannibal what he wants. Which is probably why Hannibal likes him so much.)

Just remember, with these two, kill = kiss, and a stab in the guts is tantamount to flirtation. 

Embarking on a mutually-assured-destruction pact with Will, even at the risk of his own capture? 

Goddamn. To Hannibal, that is like the most romantic thing. 

That makes Will the best he ever had. 


And as for the future (if we’re talking post-capture, post-Molly.)

Depressed? About their future? What are you, nuts?!

Okay, here’s why you’re nuts to be depressed: 

Duuude….   *ecstatic* 

I am so so so SO looking forward to seeing prison!Hannibal just- panting to get Will back in his life. 

AFTER THREE YEARS WITHOUT GETTING ANY.

Mr ‘he was five seconds late for an appointment once so I drove three hours to see why.’

Mr ‘I had to go eight months without seeing him once and I had an actual mid-life crisis with motorbikes and leather jackets and a bitter new trophy-wife and everything.’

THREE. 

FUCKING.

Y E A R S .

He will not be taking the separation well. 

And then suddenly he’s able to get within sniffing distance of Will, mere inches away, but separated from him by a pane of glass. 

Jesus that’s like the epitome of a delicious slowburn! 

And what about Chilton? He could threaten to stop his visits again! He could keep Hannibal on a really short leash! >>:-DD

Also, getting to see Hannibal on the back-foot, maybe having gone a bit doolally from being cooped up, feeling inadequate, and slowly recovering his former aura of gravitas and power. Watching him reel Will back in. 

And then getting jealous!! 

Jealous Hannibal!!!  *squealing happily*

Annoyed with Jack for whoring Will out to other killers again! 

CHRIST. The alpha/omega possessiveness we thought was lost! 

I doubt they’ll make the jealousy explicit but I guaranfuckingtee you there are going to be ‘omg look at his face he’s so consumed with jealousy!’ analysis gifsets after the episodes. I guarantee it!

And we get to watch Will (back in beautiful twinky empathy communing-with-darkness s1 mode!) go from aggressively un-friendly ‘I’m here because I have to be you GIANT BACK OF DICKS also do you see my wedding-band YEAH FUCKER HOW DOES IT FEEL ‘MR DU MAURIER’ TASTE OF YOUR OWN MEDICINE HUHer I mean that’s not why I got married, obviously-’ 

To… 

Well, whatever he ends up feeling about Hannibal. 

But Will having the luxury of being a high-maintenance bitch to him again. >:-D

And, at the same time, despite himself, slowly becoming enveloped in Hannibal’s darkness, slowly turning back into that embrace… 

Will a part of him start to look forward to their visits? 

I CAN’T WAIT TO FIND OUT!