i can't with so much hotness

10

“ You were anointed by God, blessed by the Sun. But you do not yet possess what really matters: the power!  Without it you will perish and all the France along with you. For the king without a castle is no king at all. And now, you dream of paradise, but you must build it for yourself and let the whole world know Louis the Great has arrived. “

(Versailles, 2015)

6

Harry shaking my life while making his shake.
ffs why is he so distracting?

“117 countries is far from representing the whole world. “

my dude, there’s 195 countries in the world.

rhysand and his clothes
  • interviewer: opinions on rhysand's clothing choices, everyone?
  • tamlin: he dresses like an evil burberry ad
  • lucien: scary
  • helion: scary, but hot
  • mor: i dress better
  • cassian: i have better things to talk about than clothes smh
  • azriel: his style? think count dracula but modern and minus the fangy things
  • nuala and cerridwen: we wish it was simpler. he spends so much time getting dressed
  • amren: he dresses like a child. because he is a child to me. did you hear that guys i am very old and powerful
  • tarquin: he dresses very mysteriously. like someone you can't trust
  • keir: like an asshole
  • nesta: like an overgrown bat but not as cool
  • elain: i think he designs his own clothes, it's lovely! maybe it would be better if he let me put some flowers in his hair.
  • feyre: oh idk i don't see him wearing clothes a lot
My boyfriend told me over text that he didn't know the Minotaur story
  • Boyfriend: I... I don't even know the story that well babe, I can't even say xD
  • Me: Okay so
  • Me: Poseidon gives a bull to King Minos, the best and shiniest bull you ever saw, and he's like "You can have this, but only if you promise to sacrifice it to me later" and Minos is like "Sure yeah okay man whatever" so Poseidon sends this bestest bull ever galloping up out of the salty sea spray, and everyone standing around is like "Hot fuck look at that bull" And Minos agrees, and he likes the bull SO much he decides to just quietly sort of...keep it. And he does kill a bull for Poseidon but it's one of his own, lame normal bulls, and Poseidon's no pushover so of course he notices.
  • Me: Poseidon is also notoriously easily angered, and he's royal pissed about this, so he comes up with one of the most devious punishments ever, and he infects Minos' wife Pasiphae with a desperate, DESPERATE thirst for the bull. Like she can think of nothing but getting some of that hot Bull D.
  • Boyfriend: ..........Thefuck.
  • Me: But it's hard to convince a bull, especially a divinely spawned bull, to fuck you if you are in fact not a cow but a human queen, so she comes up with a plan
  • Boyfriend: I thought some god comes down in bull form and fucks her??
  • Me: Ohh, no no no, that's the much much more tame story of Europa, who has sex with Zeus in bull form. This is different
  • Me: She goes to the best inventor she knows, Daedalus, and she's like "I need this bull to fuck me I NEED IT" and Daedalus is like "That's really weird maybe you should talk to someone" and she's like "I am talking to you and I am your queen so you better fucking make this happen for me I am going to peel my own skin off if I don't get some bull dick ASAP. But he doesn't want me because I am not fat, four-legged, and mooing."
  • Boyfriend: Oh..... oh no.
  • Me: So Daedalus shrugs, probably shudders a little, and builds the prettiest, most fuckable wooden cow a bull ever saw, but he makes it hollow, presumably with some openings in some awkward places.
  • Boyfriend: OH GOD. NO.
  • Me: So Pasiphae puts this monstrosity in the field with the bull, climbs in it, and waits. And Daedalus really is a skilled inventor, and he apparently knows what a bull likes, because Pasiphae finally gets the hot bull loving she's been dreaming of
  • Boyfriend: I........ I need an aspirin. That is disgusting.
  • Me: Only she apparently hasn't been tracking her cycles, because she gets pregnant, and births the minotaur and King Minos is like "What the fuck?" and Pasiphae is like "Honey I need to tell you something"
  • Me: And that is how it happened
  • Boyfriend: That is NOT HOW THAT WORKS
  • Me: Welcome to Mythology.

i wish i could do things right and i wish i had motivation to get up

VLD Fandom after Season 3 Trailer Dropped
  • Lance fan girls: OMG LANCE HAS SO MUCH SCREENTIME EEEEEE
  • Lotor fans: HOT AF
  • Keith fans: not a single word from the new black paladin smh
  • Shiro fans: WHERE IS MY SON
  • Klance fans: Lance is in the red lion now this obviously means klance will be canon
  • Sheith fans: *dies in a corner*
  • Hunk lovers: my sunshine boy had some screentime yaya
  • Kallura fans: I got nothing but might as well make some headcanons
  • Lancelot: THEY WILL FINALLY
  • MEET *laughter*
  • Pidge fans: Can't wait to see my sassy small child kick ass again >:D
  • Theorists: *cracks knuckles*
  • Fans who are on the verge of a mental breakdown from this fandom: Oh boy...
  • Me: THEY AREN'T COLOR CODED ANYMORE ;n;
  • this is a joke don't hurt me antis
10

Some of my faves from Aaron’s House of Blues: San Diego concert (more pics here)

How Dan and Phil probably broke up #19
  • Dan: *walks into something and trips*
  • Phil: baby can't you see
  • Dan:
  • Phil: yoU'Re fALLinG
  • Remus: Okay you need to kiss him like right now
  • Everyone: 3!
  • Remus: Don't be like last year. You accidentally kissed James. That was horrible
  • Everyone: 2!
  • Remus: Oh god I can't do it. Sirius is probably going to kiss some hot chick and I'll kiss my hand or something
  • Everyone: 1!
  • Remus: Nope no kissing Sirius now. I'm going to live alone in a cardboard box.
  • Everyone: Happy New Year!
  • Sirius: [kisses Remus] You dork, you realize you said everything out loud?