i can't wait to move back

I will always wait for the day we find each other again.

I’m planning a trip to japan for this spring, I’ll spend a few weeks then hit hong-kong for another week or two. I’m really excited about going back to japan, I get to see trish before her move to LA and reconnect with my other friends. I have a long list of things to do make that trip I planned ages ago to hiroshima, eat some okonomiyaki, visit the itsukushima shrine and go to kyoto from there. Trish’s husband is part of a rock punk band on his free time, they did an anime opening once and is quite known around yoko. He got us tickets to a few shows, I really love japanese music. Trish and I used to hit underground hip hop shows, I couldn’t fully enjoy the show b/c as soon as people spotted 2 black women in the crowd all eyes were on us and it was super uncomfortable. Once you get into it j music is really good and it’s a shame most people talk only about nujabes, the days seem so long since I got everything planned. I just can’t wait to leave I wanna eat authentic j food and use japanese super toilet. You don’t know the true joy of a “washlet” until you’ve been to japan lol!

me: I get it. Hannibal is over. I mean, there’s been talk of it coming back, but I don’t know… I think I should just move on to a different show. Try some new things for once, instead of rewatching Hannibal for the thousandth time.




Happy birthday Liam Hemsworth (January 13, 1990)

I recently did an episode on The Muppets! I could honestly say that that might be my favorite of all the jobs I’ve done. I want to go back and just shoot The Muppetsthe rest of my life. It was such a trip. It was just so funny to be staring at puppets and seriously talking to them. They don’t break character during a take. Like, if they mess up a line, they’ll just keep going in character. I’m not buying the fact that they’re Muppets. I’m seriously talking to them like they’re people. And the whole time I was really trying not to laugh, because it was just so hilarious.

a few of my favorite x-files moments inspired by @thexfiles post which includes a fuckton of my other faves

  • dear diary today my heart leapt when agent scully suggested spontaneous human combustion
  • sure fine whatever sure fine whatever *snaps latex* sure fine whatEV
  • you just ran a stop sign back there scully SHUT UP MULDER
  • shut up mulder i’m playing baseball
  • mulder, shut up
  • i was just never sure your little feet could reach the pedals
  • come on scully get those little legs moving
  • every other mention of how tiny scully is
  • also when she walked past all those kids in fight the future and she blended in 
  • fight the future………
  • bleepin’ ufo
  • i do not /gaze/ at scully lmfao ur a fuckin’ terrible liar mulder. terrible. 
  • the cream cheese tragedy 
  • whatever tape you found in that vcr, it isn’t mine
  • scully wearing a top hat…. i’m gay bye

You thought I was done with Rock and a Hard Place? Not even close.

The fact that they moved Bad Boys between Heaven Can’t Wait and Rock (where it really doesn’t belong) because of the PR fiasco at the start of S09 has always annoyed me, because 9.06 and 9.08 were so clearly meant to be watched back-to-back. This is why it’s taken me so long to fully appreciate the inversion structure in the two episodes. Just like the numbers on the lottery ticket, 9.08 follows an inverse structure to 9.06, and I’ll walk you through it.

The initial scene of 9.08 is the culmination: it is the end of Dean’s journey to Rexford and the start of his journey to Hardford (notice that both names reference crossing places). The story from 9.06 runs in reverse in 9.08, and I can’t believe how long it’s taken me to realize it despite the fact that we explicitly, actually get the “Adios“ before the “Hola“ in the episode, while we get the hello and good-bye in the order we’re meant to in the preceding episode.

To set the scene, we have Suzy Lee who used to be Carmelita and we have Steve who used to be Castiel. Only Carmelita was not who Suzy really was, and Steve is not who Castiel really is. Dark-haired man in a maroon hoodie is inverted in a blonde woman with a green hoodie.

The story in Hartford begins with the sad ‘Adios, always the adios’, the other story ends with them. Then Dean describes the sex scene: notice the placement of it. It’s precisely where the missing time is. Dean then mentions that things got sticky - the other story has the Zit Rien that turns people into a sticky mess.

“Are you sure we don’t know each other?“ – “This is not you, man. You are above this.“

Dean offers to walk Suzy home. Castiel asks Dean for a ride.

“Okay, lead the way.“ “Where to, Cas?“

Suzy takes over her hoodie. Dean asks Castiel to take off his vest.

“I can’t stop thinking about my friends.I’m so scared for them. Will you pray with me, Dean?“ –  “He heard the victims’ cries, and their anguish, same as he’d hear an angel’s in heaven.” “You’re scared.“

Dean and Suzy sit on the sofa and share an uncomfortable moment. Dean and Castiel sit in the car and share a comfortable moment. Suzy stacks several books on Dean’s lap. Dean and Castiel rehash their history.

The new scene in 9.08 stats with Suzy needing to use the bathroom. In 9.06 the previous scene ends with Castiel having to clean the bathroom.

The scenes in 9.08 and 9.06 are preceded by Dean’s phone call to Sam during which he discovers the hidden truth about them: both his counselor and his guardian angel are under cover pretending to be something they’re not, living lives that aren’t their lives. He lies to Sam both times, but in 9.08 Sam knows what Dean is doing.

Carmelita was not who Suzy really was, but Dean coerced her back into the role. Steve was not who Castiel was, and Dean coerced him from the role.

Dean was impressed by what Suzy (”You’re a freaking legend!”) could do with tacos (”Well… They do not appreciate you.I mean… the things you can do – the scene with the tacos”) and was convinced that was the real her. Dean thought that serving taquitos (”Wow. So you went from fighting … heavenly battles to nuking taquitos?”) was beneath Castiel and was not the real him. (”This is beneath you!”)

 “Yeah, what am I supposed to say? ‘Oh, yeah, hey, I used to be a porn star. Let’s pray’?“ – The other dude’s a former angel recently fallen from heaven.

Dean says Carmelita made him want to join a mariachi band just to be near her. Dean lied to his brother and friend, and left them in the middle of working a case to see Castiel. (There’s also grim foreshadowing in the fact that one of the most popular mariachi bands is Los Caballeros = the knights; Dean did join the mariachi band in the hopes that one day he would be able to be near Castiel again)

But I think “Hola!“ is where the scene from 9.06 stars, with Dean walking into the Gas-n-Sip, and everything between then and Vesta knocking them out happened at the end of 9.03. Did Dean kiss Castiel good-bye? I don’t know. He probably didn’t, but he wanted to. From the moment he heard that Castiel had had sex with April, learned that the guy he was in love with and believed junkless was capable of feeling actual human desire, he wanted to climb him like a tree. You can bet your ass there were dreams about the showers and the water pressure.

Suzy then asks Dean if he’s a bad boy, and Dean tells him to ask that in Spanish. Dean has to do something that he deeply regrets while Castiel is eating a burrito.

“You’re not like… the other guys in town, are you?You’re kind of a… a bad boy.“ – “You lied.“ “I do that“.

Suzy escorts Dean out, and Dean says he’s missing it already. Dean kicked Castiel out of the bunker. Suzy says “I got to say, I really missed that [sex]“. Castiel says, “Dean, you know I always appreciate our talks, our time together.

Once you realize the stories run in inverse parallel, it’s easy to pick out the cross-references. I’m sure there are a ton more that people with keener eyes than mine can see. The amount of co-incidences between them is far from accidental.

And the most important is the narrated sex scene, which is exactly where you would narratively expect too find it. It fills in the gap. The fact that Dean and Castiel had sex in the fashion that Dean himself narrates to us is implied canon. Not fanfiction, not head canon, but actual fully intentional subtext that was rapidly becoming text.

So now I’ve calmed down a little after that cliffhanger from hell and I’m actually kind of glad that Emma left Killian down there. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I don’t want or expect it to be permanent. But the point is - she let go. She said goodbye. She knows that she has people who love her, she knows that she can move on even if it hurts.

That’s a big deal for her. When we met her, she didn’t let anyone in at all. Then slowly she started to, and swung the other way, almost clinging to people she loves for fear of losing them. She made choices for Henry, then she made choices for Killian, to protect them - and it was a mistake every time. Then she went down to the Underworld because she couldn’t let go. It was a selfish move, motivated by need and fear. And now she’s paid the price for it, and learned the lesson.

And Killian has proven himself to be selfless, he’s put Emma and everyone else first, before himself. He made sure to give her as much closure as he could, to enable her to move on.

They told each other to move on, and they were both able to promise each other they’d move on.

This was an important step for both of them, but I think especially for Emma.

We’ve seen it over and over with this show that the really important thing about love is choice. You’re not with someone because you need them. You’re with someone because you choose them. There’s a reason why that true love test involved making a choice. That’s what it’s about.

So I actually think that after all this, Emma is in a better place for a relationship. She knows she doesn’t need Killian. Given the chance, she’ll always choose him, but need means dependence, while choice means freedom. A relationship based on choice is much healthier and better than one based on need. So think once they get this pesky Underworld business sorted out for good, they’ll both be in a better place, individually and together, than ever before.

I’m so emotional about the POI news. Sarah coming back for 8-9 episodes… and “I think Shaw has come around to realize maybe this is the person for her in the world”…. and Greg says fans should have “more than hope,” however, because Shoot has officially moved beyond subtext….


I’m so fucking happy. This really is the best show and with the best people…and I’m just…


The Script - The Man Who Can’t Be Moved (Vevo Presents: Live in Amsterdam) (x)

“Cause if one day you wake up and find that you’re missing me and your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be, thinking maybe you’ll come back here to the place that we’d meet and you’ll see me waiting for you on the corner of the street.” <3