i can't tim i just can't

Reasons to be happy today:

  • Tim’s groceries magically appear on his kitchen table every Monday afternoon. He doesn’t really know how they get there, but he doesn’t question it because he assumes Alfred brings them by. He’s wrong (zombie squad back at it again with the aggressive care taking).
  • Number of times Wayne Industries employees have walked in on Tim power-napping on the break room couches: nine. In the past month. It’s cool. They’re used to it by now. They know to let him sleep.
  • When Dick first started hanging around the Batcave, he decided he should design his own secret fortress, but (being an eight year old), his idea of the perfect hideout was… interesting.
  • “And this is the medical bay, and this is the armory, and this is the moat with the MAN-EATING GUARD CROCODILES.” “I’m pretty sure this where I tell you no.” “No crocodiles?” “No crocodiles.” “Okay ROBOT CROCODILES.” [Bruce sighing]
  • But it’s still an official blueprint, right? Crayon drawing or not, it has to go with all the other plans. Which means it’s been hanging up in the cave for the last decade and
  • Yeah, all the other kids have seen it. And they’re keeping the tradition alive with their own designs. Tim and Jason both actually made theirs, if not quite according to the original blueprints (no movie theater, no secret tunnel to Pizza Hut). But they were close enough for Bruce to recognize them the first time he saw. Stephanie is still campaigning to get hers built.
  • And Damian, with his usual lack of chill, has not only detailed plans, but also construction estimates, a schedule, and a budget spreadsheet. Also he’s been laughing at Grayson’s original for months. (“Robot crocodiles? Really? There are more cost efficient ways to protect your hideout.” “I was eight.” “You don’t even have mechanical blueprints.” “I was eight.” “I could make them if I wanted to. For the record.” [Dick sighing] )

Headcanon: Tim and Steph are always “in-between” dating and not dating. No one is sure if they’re together. Not even they’re sure.
“Are we dating?”
“Are we?”
“I thought we were.”
“That’s what I thought but that was before the March incident.”
“What happened in March?”
“I was mad at you for some reason. Hmm, what was it?”
“Wait, so does this mean that I was your accidental boyfriend for the 4th?”
“It wasn’t about business or, heaven forbid, Bruce…”
“I mean, not that I mind but I like to know when I’m dating you because it helps to have a consistent plus one at events.”
“And it wasn’t about your constant obsession with your job. Anal retentive much?”
“Wow, okay, rude. We’re definitely not dating now. And if we’re on flaws, you do not share well. At all.”
“That’s right! You ate my mac n cheese. That’s why I was mad!”
“Yeah, but did we break up?”
“…I don’t think so?? I can’t remember.”
“So are we dating?”
“Are we?”

I can’t decide what is funnier, 

That Dick looks truly heartbroken by the statement,
That Tim is somewhere between ‘I don’t care’ and ‘bring it on’,
That Jason is just done with this stupid family,
Or that Damian is planning to hang up their belongings in his bedroom at the Manor, which they all go/visit periodically. 

  • Jason: Oh, feelings? Yeah, I don't have those anymore.
  • Tim: What?! You can't just do that! What's the point in living if you can't feel happiness? Wonder? Love?
  • Jason: Or the sweet taste of revenge! You're right, Tim! What's the point in living if I can't enjoy such simple things?
  • Tim: Eh... close enough.
“I’d rather be dead.”   Then I have some good news for you.

When Ryan is unavailable, Jeremy takes over the role of torturer.

His methods aren’t the same. He isn’t creepy or crazy like the Gent, but he is damn well effective.

Everyone expects the Vagabond, so when a 5’4” thug with a shock of purple and orange hair walks in, they think Ramsey has gone crazy. This kid is gonna get them to talk?

Short answer: yes.

Reality: Jeremy can get them to say whatever he wants.

6

Timmy Olyphant on Conan [4.27.16]

bonus: for reasons

Me: I don’t fall for clickbait like other people do. They’re useless, they’re annoying, and they’re-

Me: