i can't ship you for a variety of reasons

anonymous asked:

I know people are gonna ridicule me but when phandom goes crazy with shipping one of them (esp Dan) I sometimes think if it's healthy for them to stay together? We suppose they are together but dan has eyes for so many people and whenever Phil is gone he talks about how he can't live alone. It makes me feel like Phil is his security blanket and I feel so uneasy. I don't know much about relationships but would you be happy if your husband were like Dan?

Believe it or not, good looks don’t automatically win you a wonderful life partner. I know plenty of attractive adults who are single and living alone for a variety of reasons, including a simple preference for solitude. Dan and Phil both seem like fairly introverted, socially awkward guys who, if they hadn’t met each other and bonded, would probably spend most of their time in their own flats, watching anime alone and playing video games against anonymous strangers on the Internet. And to be honest they might be happy that way—they’re probably just a lot happier being introverted and socially awkward together.

When Dan and Phil are apart, Dan does sometimes make comments about it. Something to remember here: Dan has what we call “a sense of humor” and a love of what we call “hyperbole.” It’s a type of sense of humor I share, so yes, even when I was just just living with a housemate (let alone a partner or spouse) I might have tweeted about absolute helplessness in the face of my fears or crushing loneliness.

The thing to notice here is that when you’re used to having someone around every day and night—someone who supports you and has your back, someone who cares about you and laughs with you and knows what you’re scared of—then it’s perfectly natural that you’re less happy when that person is not around. And if you’re someone like Dan, it’s perfectly natural to react to that unhappiness by blowing it out of proportion for comedic effect.

I don’t know the nature of Dan and Phil’s relationship or whether it’s emotionally healthy. I don’t think there’s any way for us to evaluate that from the outside, and I don’t think it’s our business anyway. But I do know with absolute certainty that a perfectly healthy, happy relationship (be it friendship or marriage) can look like this from the outside.