i can't remember if i've posted this here or not

slavic languages gothic

You see a sentence written in cyrillic. Some of the letters are familiar. You see the meaning shimmering underneath the surface. You almost grasp it, but it slips away. The letters on the page mock you silently.

You know this Czech word. You’ve already learnt it in Polish. It is not the same word. It is a grave insult. Your slavic friends are shocked and embarassed for you when they hear you speak it.

There is a sentence in Croatian. There is a sentence in Serbian. There is a sentence in Bosnian. They are all the same sentence.

You have to write about your day in Slovak. You spend the night polishing the draft. You fail your assigment. It’s written in Czech. You don’t know Czech.

P is not what it seems. You have to remember that.

The Croatian sentence does not mean what the Bosnian sentence means. They both mean the same in Serbian.

That word has a diminutive. The diminutive has its own diminutive. The diminutive of the diminutive also has a diminutive. Nobody knows what the final diminutive of a word is. Some say the knowledge had been lost in centuries past and matrioshkas are the echo, the tangible warning left for us to remember. No living creature should hold the means of diminishing something into nonexistence.
Others say you may still find some of them in old soviet textbooks, if you dare to look in abandoned schools of Chernobyl.

Someone is speaking to you. Is that a he or a she? You aren’t sure. It’s an abstract concept. Why does it have gender.

You see a word in a dictionary. It has seventeen letters and only one vowel. You close the dictionary very carefully not looking at the phonetic transcription. The shape of it haunts you in your sleep. You wake up face damp with tears, a bitter taste on your tongue. The clock blinks 3:03AM. You do not dare look up that word again.

This word means the same thing in the five slavic languages you’re familiar with. You use it in the sixth one. That word does not exist in this language. It never did. There is now a word-shaped void in the fabric of this language. The natives look at you uneasily. There is a new quality to the silence and your palms start to sweat.

H is not H. H is not H. H is not H. H is not H.

One day you flip through your dictionary. A page is missing. What was the word? You can’t remember. There is pressure building at the back of your head. The clock blinks 3:03AM.

You write my name is in cyrillic. There are shadows dancing on the walls. They grow longer with each letter you write down. It is not cyrillic you’re using. You keep writing my name is. The shadows now bleed from the tip of your pen. It’s irrelevant. You need to remember the right letters.

N is not N is not N is not N is not N is not N is not N is not N is not N is not N is not N is not… If only you could remember the letters. The letters are important. What was it, that wasn’t N?

There are nine different prefixes you can add to a verb to change its meaning. There are fifty three different suffixes you have to add to a verb to make it work. In the end the only thing left of the original is a vague shape of one of its middle consonants. You can feel the anguish radiating from the verb’s mutialted form. A desperate sob escapes through your clenched teeth. You’re so, so sorry, you didn’t meant to. You didn’t. It doesn’t matter.

You now read a text in Russian. You’ve never learnt Russian. Why are you reading that text? The words burn your eyes, the meaning searing your mind.

There’s a shot of vodka in front of you. You don’t drink alcohol. You don’t care. All existence is meaningless, your soul’s in eternal pain. A broken matrioshka lays at your feet. There is no salvation, she says boring into your eyes. You open your mouth to answer, but there is only a burst of harsh rustle. It dies in whispering echoes a moment later. Your glass is empty again.

kittyichooseyou  asked:

I have a klk question, and I apologize if you've answered it before, but, do you find any significance in Ryuko taking a big bite out of an unpeeled lemon in her introduction? Like, was it just meant to make her seem hard? Or like, does it have some subtext I don't understand? Is she ever seen eating lemon/drinking lemonade as a background thing? I've always wondered about this. Thanks.

I gotta be honest with you: I’m atrocious at talking about symbolism. There’s a reason that my hundreds of essays hardly ever mention it. 

So… I haven’t especially covered this before, but I can provide some Thoughts.

First and foremost, the lemon scene has been largely understood as a homage to FLCL, a coming-of-age anime worked on by Gainax—the studio that Hiroyuki Imaishi and Masahiko Otsuka left to found Studio Trigger, which is the team behind Kill la Kill

In the first episode of FLCL, Naota, the protagonist, refuses to drink the rest of the sour, “Lemon Squash” pop that his friend Mamimi didn’t finish. He claims that he “[doesn’t] like sour drinks” and proceeds to toss the can aside.

However, at the end of the episode, Mamimi offers Naota the sour pop again, and his reaction changes. While he repeats his sentiment—“I told you, I don’t like sour stuff”—Naota doesn’t toss the can aside this time, instead guzzling the drink down.

So, when Ryuko, the protagonist of Kill la Kill, begins the first episode of her show not just forcing herself to consume something sour, but does so purposefully, without flinching… there’s probably something there. Kill la Kill’s director Imaishi did work extensively on FLCL, after all.

But what exactly is meant to be conveyed in either series is entirely dependent on how the “sour” symbol is understood.

On the one hand, the “sourness” could be a symbol of “first love.” For Naota to accept the drink in FLCL would be to accept an “indirect kiss” from Mamimi, who had been drinking from the can previously. The “first love” idea seems supported in Kill la Kill, with Ryuko noting, after Mataro steals her lemon (at least in the original Japanese script), “You’re that eager to learn what first love tastes like?”

Mataro: Bitch, don’t try to be all witty! I’ve had my first kiss!

And with the idea of “first love” comes the idea of childishness. Though it may have some… Unfortunate Implications, in both FLCL and Kill la Kill, it could be said that getting into a first romantic relationship is a sign of growing up. The fact that Naota initially refuses to taste “first love” represents his initial refusal to come of age—and the fact that Mataro in Kill la Kill insists that he has had his first kiss (or “get[s] way more action than [Ryuko]!” in the dub) represents his desire to seem “grown-up” and experienced.

Ryuko’s utterly blase eating of the lemon would then also imply that she has had romantic relationship(s) in the past and is not afraid of them.

However, with all of this, the “sourness” could simply be a larger metaphor: a metaphor of adulthood, maturity, that kind of stuff. Naota deciding to take in the sourness at the end of the first opening episode signifies that his show is going to feature his coming of age—something he initially didn’t want anything to do with, but that the story is going to push him to experience regardless. Ryuko immediately biting into a lemon could then signify that she’s already come of age, but—and more likely, considering Kill la Kill’s ending—it could also signify that she’s not afraid of the hardships, challenges, and “sourness” that comes with coming of age.

In this way, I also see the “sourness” as a bit of a metaphor for moving forward rather than running away. The lemon pop in FLCL is first featured when Naota struggles to tell Mamimi that his brother is seeing someone else—a hard, difficult, “adult” situation that’s not fun and not comfortable. Naota throws the can away, perhaps representative of how he wants to run away from this problem. At the end of the episode, though, Naota has revealed the truth to Mamimi, and he then drinks the pop, signifying that there’s no more running away: he’s growing up, whether he likes it or not.

But disregarding the FLCL tribute, a character introduction that features the character biting into a raw, unpeeled lemon is powerful on its own. It tells audiences right away that this character is badass—whether her lemon-eating is because she’s not afraid of growing up or hardship or “first love” or because of any other reason, you shouldn’t mess with this chick.

2

C H I D O R I 

anonymous asked:

Wasn't there fanart that you drew of Will and Nico where Will had on a tan chb hoodie with orange lettering and an orange pegasus silhouette on the sleeve and Will was hugging him? I can't find it anywhere. I've been looking for it for a few weeks lol and I feel like im going crazy because it may not exist but I'm positive that it does because it was too wonderful for my imagination to create and I remember seeing it.

oh do you mean this one? i sometimes post stuff on ig that i never post here and vice versa lol but im sure that’s what youre looking for :))

anonymous asked:

Can I ask you for a fem! Nishio with longer hair? She'd be totes cute :0 ( sorry if I've sent this twice, I can't remember if I've already sent it once. ;_; )

anon: “Okay, I low-key stalked your blog and went through a good portion of your posts and came across your female Nishiki (Who is such a cutie!!) and honestly I’d like to see her with longer hair drawn in your style, I think she’d look nice. ꒰♡´͈ ᵕ `͈♡꒱” 
anon: “YOUR FEM NISHIKI!!!!! IS SO CUTE!!!!! YOU DRAW HER SO WELL!!!!! ( and i honestly wonder how she would look with long hair in your style :-0 )” 

4 all of these. here u go!

anonymous asked:

Idk if you remember me but a while ago i asked you "how do you know you are bi and not a lesbian?" because i was really confused myself since i knew i liked girls but I wasn't sure about guys (here's your answer post/160719067301/this-is-an-odd-question-but-how-do-you-know-you ) and you said "kind of easy for me to be bi when i rarely date people" BUT NOW YOU JUST TOLD US YOU'RE A LESBIAN AND THAT'S GREAT! but i'm still confused myself so i ask again, how did you figure it out?

lol i love that my answer included that part about my boss looking at me like “you’re a lesbian” because i now look back on that moment and think “yep, she was right.” 

it took me a long time to recognize that just because i am physically attracted to men doesn’t mean that i have to date them. i’ve tried dating men several times in the past year or so and with every guy it just feels like a waste of time. i have to force myself to try to like them and be intimate with them, and it never felt natural and it never came easy to me. 

what WAS easy was breaking up with them, which i never felt bad about. i’ve had a couple of men bend over backwards trying to figure out why i’m breaking up with them, either by telling me how amazing i am or by telling me how terrible of a person i am, and i never care. i feel nothing whatsoever. all i want is for them to leave me alone. i don’t want to hurt more men just because i’m trying to be bi. 

another thing i dealt with in dating men was constantly missing women. i never miss men when i’m with a woman, but i always, always, always miss women when i’m with a guy. 

and just getting back to my original point about being attracted to men but not wanting to date them - because i don’t like sex, intimacy is way more dependent on other factors than it might be for other people. being emotionally or even romantically close to someone is wayyyyy more important than my physical attraction to them, and it took me a long ass time to realize that i can never form that emotional connection with men. it always felt weird and uncomfortable and pretty fucking scary. i thought that was just my own personal hangups with relationships until i started dating hannah and had absolutely zero issues being close and intimate with her. 

there’s one more….petty reason why i prefer being a lesbian over being bi, and that’s the bullshit i deal with from other people. being bi made it more difficult to outright reject men’s advances without them thinking they had a chance and continuing to try to get with me. i’ve already rejected two or three guys with the “sorry, i’m a lesbian” excuse and it works so much fucking better lmao. they actually leave me the fuck alone. which, you know, the fact that i always wanted to reject men’s advances is probably a pretty obvious sign that i don’t like men, you feel.  

also, when this bitch at school tells me she’s praying for god’s will in my life and hopes his will includes me marrying a man, it’s a lot more satisfying to straight up tell her i’m a les and i plan on never touching another man in my entire gay life. 

anonymous asked:

So I think Batcat is the best couple in DC, I feel like they're the power couple, they are nothing like other couples in the DC comics universe. So I've got a question, do you think they're the perfect couple because....? I can't begin to explain why I think they're perfect so why do you find them so perfect?

If you’re asking why I think Batman and Catwoman have such a great relationship you can check out some of my meta posts here and here and here and here.

If you’re asking why I ship batcat more than any other ship: I don’t know man. I don’t even remember how it happened and sometimes I wish I didn’t. It’s tough being this emotionally invested in something when the consensus seems to be that there’s a limit to how far this relationship will go. Sometimes I wish I had imprinted on a ship with a more concrete endgame status. Sometimes I wish I shipped clois the way I ship batcat. It’s not always easy but at least they get to move in together and get married and have kids and bathtub scenes together, and I don’t think we’ll ever get any of that with Batman and Catwoman.

It’s not that I think they have a perfect relationship; I just happen to think it’s really real. Batman and Catwoman are both really flawed characters that have both done some really fucked up things, and they’re both self-loathing in their own way. Batman is defined by trauma, Catwoman doesn’t always think that she’s a good person, they both think that they’re so messed up and have made so many mistakes that they don’t expect or even think that they deserve love or to be happy. Yet they found just that in each other and I think that’s really beautiful. They both have qualities and characteristics that are lacking in other, provide each other with what they need, and make each other happy and I think that’s what love is. I don’t even think that their relationship was intentionally written that way, but that’s what it developed into. I guess I ship batcat categorically more than any other ship because to me it symbolizes that love can exist in any darkness and that everyone deserves love.

OKAY I saw a very interesting idea about S&P!Mark which I remember spoke about his environment changing along with his hair color (blue is water, red is fire etc) but I tried to find it again today and couldn’t find it in the tag????? 

I don’t know yet if we will be using the idea/something inspired by it but right now I just want a visual of that niche skill. I like this idea not just a little. So there! a waterMark 

I’m funny

Please don’t be afraid to tell me if the original idea is yours! I’ll edit this post to give you proper credit. 

6

I HAVE BEEN SUPER INACTIVE HERE ON TUMBLRR

But drawing like crazy over on Discord ha ha 

So I made this sketch dump thingy. Mostly shippy stuff :3c

Also a small appearance of @shiro-hunter ‘s Schwarzer 

I hope you guys like it!! (I still have more stuff piling over  here, I’ll post em later)

3

you can set sail to the west if you want to
and pass the horizon, 'til I can't even see you
far from here, where the beaches are wide
just leave me your wake to remember you by

4

Aaron was right. That was the last time (so far/in a very long time at least) that Robert lashed out at him and treated him the way he did that day at the scrapyard. 

anonymous asked:

Hey, I've been looking for a certain story on here that was posted a while back and I just can't find it. Could you please help me in finding the story in which a mage has a spellbook filled with runes that end up up being 100000d6 damage? I would really appreciate it!

Hmm, I don’t remember that one (though, with over 4000 posts at this point, I’d be more surprised if I did!). Try the do not meddle in the affairs of wizards tag - that’s the most likely place for it!