i can't even guys

dad and i watch captain america: the winter soldier
  • dad: oh god it's starting shut up i've been waiting for this for months
  • (movie starts)
  • dad: THESE ARE THE BICEPS OF FREEDOM
  • dad: i don't know what's happening but the french guy fighting cap looks like french macklemore
  • me: how do you even know who macklemore is?
  • dad: i'm hip. i'm cool
  • me: don't you do it
  • dad: i'm gonna pop some tags, only got 20 baguettes in my pocket
  • (five minutes later)
  • dad: is that the Falcon? that's totally the Falcon
  • me: how do you know?
  • dad: i used to read the comic books trust me on this i'm an expert. his superpower was that he could talk to birds
  • me: birds?
  • dad: i mean in hindsight it probably wasn't the most useful thing ever
  • dad: if this winter soldier is supposedly a ghost in the machine that nobody's ever seen, and nobody will ever catch, you would think showing up in broad daylight and blowing up cars would not be his modus operandi
  • dad: how the heck did he laser through concrete??
  • me: idk dad it's nick fury he can probably do whatever he wants
  • dad: i'm sorry attractive nurse who just so happens to live next door, my heart belongs to a seventy year russian dude with a bionic arm
  • me: what
  • dad:
  • dad: nick fury isn't dead. justice never dies. he probably has a billion clones in some top secret storage facility, just waiting for their organ harvest.
  • me: ew dad gross no
  • dad: i really relate to that apple store employee
  • me: we all do dad
  • dad: oh that's that guy from the first movie! i remember him! he was my favorite, his eyes were so blue, and he loved steve so much. i wanted them to get together
  • me: dad good god
  • dad: he was a little less marilyn manson at that point though
  • dad: not that guyliner isn't a good look for this guy
  • dad: when a deadly russian assassin wears eyeliner, it's 'he's so dreamy' and 'wow what a badass'
  • dad: but when i do it it's 'you're too old' and 'bald guys can't pull off make-up'
  • me: dad it was halloween and it was one time you need to let this go
  • dad: so bucky barnes, aka cute cocky guy who died in the first movie, aka steve roger's best friend/boyfriend, is a top secret super scary brainwashed hydra agent?
  • me: mmm-hm
  • dad: called it
  • dad: do you think single handedly destroying jets is just a common, everyday thing for cap? punch a few tanks, feed a few pigeons, take out a plane, help old ladies cross the street...
  • dad: captain america is like your grandad minus the booze and the cussing
  • dad: in all honesty that was a little anti-climactic
  • dad: i was 100% sure nick fury was gonna descend majestically from the heavens, 'All I do is Win' blaring in the background, and single-handedly save everyone's ass
  • dad: scarjo and chris evans are two of the most beautiful people in the world and they are both in this movie and i don't know how to feel about it i have butterflies in my stomach i'm a schoolboy again
  • me: you know on second thought we should have brought mom
  • dad: where's hawkeye? where's bruce? where's tony? where's thor? WHERE ARE ALL THE OTHER AVENGERS AS THE ENTIRETY OF SHIELD IS COMPROMISED AND NICK FURY DIES
  • me: maybe they figured steve could handle it
  • dad: maybe they're all lazy assholes

monsta x deserves the world but the world doesn’t deserve them

(…) “Looking back at Chat, he was still leaning against the wall, panting hard, and it was a great view. One you’d never get tired of. Disheveled blonde hair, cheeks dusted red where the mask didn’t cover them, bruised lips…”

The Muse, Chapter 12

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A very important compilation.

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Keys and Christmas Lights – Valentine’s day Sterek Dance!AU on AO3 (inspired by this)

Stiles’ fingers clenched in Derek’s hair, holding him with desperation as he stormed his lips. Derek reacted with a shameless murmur of appreciation, letting Stiles to slowly take control over his body. He felt this long fingers slipping out of his hair, stroking his skin with the same rhythm as Stiles’ biting into his lips. They ran gently through his shoulder, causing an involuntary shiver when finally slipped between Derek’s thighs, drawing him even closer to Stiles’ hot body.

“I knew…” Stiles said between one kiss and the other, “I knew you don’t like candles,” he whispered in a hurry. Stopping for a moment, he added with a warm huff, “So I used Christmas lights instead.”

For the fandom and for this extraordinary girl whose talent dazzles me every single time… yes, I mean you kala-fiorek ^^ and yes, she drew that amazing art!

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These are so cute, esp Joker + family vacay in Japan anyone?
basically the Japanese Lego Batman Twitter is a blessing… also PLEASE WATCH THE JAPANESE TRAILER I’M DYING BC OF THE VOICES https://twitter.com/legobatmanjp/status/811862982627987456