i can't even find the words to describe what this scene did to me

Kiritoru! Mr Godlike Attentiveness

Yuzu: Ah, it’s short again
Yuzu: I can’t *red words*
Yuzu: I CAN’T, I CAN’T *BIG red words* 

In which Nobu fanboys a tiny bit, Yuzuru cannot tie his tie and Taka-chan comes to the rescue.

Full translation under the cut :)

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sheepgalaxy  asked:

Hi! So I saw a post that said the Black Lion wants a pilot who's a confident leader and Shiro seems confident but is full of doubt and fear while Keith has confidence in his decisions and that's why he's better for black, and I wondered if you had any thoughts about that? I can find the post again and link it to you if you'd prefer to see the whole thing! But I just... really disagree with that logic and can't seem to put why into words. I have no doubt in my mind that Shiro is the true (cont)

Black Paladin and know it’s the same for you, but I was just curious if you had any thoughts about that particular reasoning for the switch. It doesn’t sound right at all to me and I think it has a lot of things wrong, I just can’t say why I think so exactly. It also said Shiro doesn’t have a place on the team anymore and it really makes me sad that people think that honestly. Keith, Allura, and Shiro are all my faves and none of them is more deserving of a spot on the team than the other imo.

okay i have to tell you that you said “I saw a post dragging Shiro and saying Keith’s the better leader” and i instantly thought “i bet i know who this is” and i went to their blog and LO AND BEHOLD it was the EXACT person i was thinking of, so no - i don’t need you to link me the post lmao.

the reason why the logic seems wrong to you is because it’s garbage. i mean, let’s look at the actual CANON characteristics of the Lions, shall we?

The Black Lion:

Allura: “The Black Lion is the decisive head of Voltron. It will take a pilot who is a born leader and in control at all times, someone whose men will follow without hesitation.”

Keith is not in control of anything, ever. He is volatile and unpredictable and prone to emotional outbursts. No one on the show has ever followed him without hesitation. They’ve followed Shiro, though. When they all find the Blue Lion in the pilot, Lance explicitly defers to Shiro’s authority as the senior officer - i.e. he is prepared to follow him without hesitation:

Lance: “Shiro, you’re the senior officer here. What should we do?”

The Red Lion:

Allura: “The Red Lion is temperamental and the most difficult to master. It’s faster and more agile than the others, but also more unstable. Its pilot needs to be someone who relies more on instincts than skill alone.”

I mean… she basically just described Keith. Look at this and tell me it’s not “relying on instinct” and “unstable”:

The other Paladins here are not “following without hesitation”. They are screaming in terror. This is not the mark of a natural born leader.

Keith is not the Black Lion’s “true Paladin” because the Black Lion doesn’t actually value confidence or bravado. She values leadership and compassion and trust, and Mr. “Shut Up and Trust Me” over here is not a team player who commands the unquestioning confidence of his men. He’s the wildcard. And that’s fine! That’s who he is! But it also makes him spectacularly unsuitable to lead Voltron - something I wrote about extensively in {this meta about Keith’s leadership style compared to Shiro’s}. And if you read that you’ll notice that everything I said about Keith’s leadership style was borne out by the first three episodes of season 3: Keith ran off on his own, didn’t consult with others, always wanted to do his own thing, bossed everyone around and didn’t listen to their ideas, and failed at handling interpersonal conflicts. (Especially when it came to dealing with Lance’s insecurities. That scene where Lance came to Keith’s room for comfort and validation? Shiro would have handled that WAY differently.)

Despite what people will try and tell you in the weeks/months leading up to season 4, Keith is not the “true Black Paladin” who was “supposed to lead all along” and Shiro has never struggled to bond with his Lion or pilot her. He never struggled to rally the team and form Voltron, the way Keith struggled in season 3. And I will probably write a whole long meta about this and go into more detail, but the point is: Shiro in canon is very closely bonded to Black. Look at this:

This happened in the SECOND EPISODE, when Shiro managed to nail an “expert level drill” on his first try, despite it being an exercise Coran described as something they should only really try if they’d been piloting the Lions for years.

Keith hasn’t even seen through the Red Lion’s eyes yet, LET ALONE Black’s. If he’s the “true Black Paladin”, why didn’t we see him bond more with the Black Lion in season 3? Why did he struggle with her so much? Why couldn’t he jump in and instantly form Voltron with the others?

Shiro managed to rally the team to form Voltron after flying the Black Lion for less than twenty minutes. Keith - who’s been flying a Lion for months, has experience of forming Voltron with the others, and has flown the Black Lion before - failed utterly to form Voltron on his first try. Because he’s not a born leader like Shiro is - like Voltron and the Black Lion needs.

The fact is that Shiro does have doubts and insecurities - that is also canon - but those qualities make him a BETTER Black Paladin, not a worse one. Remember that the Black Lion has already had a Paladin who was supremely confident in his own decisions and didn’t listen to others and selfishly did his own thing at incredible risk to everyone else:

…how did that work out, huh?

I have also written extensively about how Shiro {probably thinks the Black Lion wants a Paladin more like Keith}, but how the Black Lion {in fact relates to Shiro more because they have both been through similar traumatic experiences at the hands of Zarkon}. And this still stands: Zarkon related to the Black Lion through control; his approach to trying to get her back was to force himself on her and try to overpower her with his energy. The Black Lion was there for Zarkon’s slow descent into a power-hungry dictator who only viewed the Lions as weapons and tools to be used. She was there for Zarkon’s betrayal of his fellow Paladins, and for the war that was fought for control of Voltron. That’s why she values trust and co-operation and it’s why she chose Shiro as her Paladin.

Shiro’s entire relationship with the Black Lion is characterised by trust. He trusts her implicitly in the nosedive exercise - and she returns that trust and lets him see through her eyes. He trusts her suggestions for things like the jawblade or using the bayard. When she spits him out in 1x11, he trusts that it’s not voluntary and refuses to give up on her. Whilst he doubts and questions whether or not she really wants him as Paladin, his commitment to piloting her never wavers. Shiro fights for the Black Lion, time and time again: he goes back for her, he battles Zarkon in the astral plane for her - he goes to her and asks her to bond with him, to trusts him and believe in him - and she does. She trusts him with her past and her history. And then in 2x13 she asks him to trust her when she raises up the bayard slot on her console, as if to say: “trust me. we can get it back if we work together” and Shiro understands. He trusts her enough to charge full-tilt at Zarkon with no idea what’s about to happen, all to get back the bayard the Black Lion lost all those centuries ago.

Like Shiro says to Zarkon on the astral plane: “It’s not about control. It’s about earning each other’s trust.”

Do not let anyone tell you that Shiro isn’t the true Black Paladin. These people are deliberately ignoring large parts of canon in order to argue that Shiro somehow isn’t really Black’s Paladin or his bond with her is weak. That argument is garbage. If his bond with his Lion was so weak, he never would’ve been able to retrieve his bayard. He never would’ve been able to see through her eyes, or experience her memories.

Shiro is the only true Black Paladin. Keith is the true Red Paladin. He might be sitting in Black’s pilot seat right now, but he’s not the Black Paladin and he never will be. There is only one true Black Paladin on the show, and that’s Shiro.

anonymous asked:

sunny idk if its just me but like the screen cap with the Angry Disappointed team, like, shiro's body language seems a lot harsher? like pidge and lance are turned to the side, while hunk, coran and allura are facing him. however, i cant help but feel just... bad??? worried? about shiro's posture. he has his back to keith. i can't fully word why this stresses me out but, like, considering their relationship, him having his back to keith is worrying;; (i mean they hugged but that.. felt distant?)

OKAY BUT. AFTER WRITING THAT S+K LEADERSHIP STUFF IN THE LAST META I KIND OF HAD AN EXCITING REVELATION!!!! im literally in the process of yelling about it on discord right now. so i can already tell you this won’t be my most coherent analysis bc im genuinely so excited to think about this LMAO. you’re getting my Live Reaction to this angle of interpretation. 

Their previous encounter is important to recall here, Keith definitely would have every reason to believe that Shiro is Angry and Disappointed at him, so that’s how Shiro looks. Just hear me out for a second because that probably sounds strange. I’m not saying Shiro isn’t those things, but. I think there’s a cool ‘but’ here. Let’s find out what that is! 

so the mindscape parallels are really cool in 4x01 and I honestly think this is deliberate mirroring. But. But there’s more! Look at where the eyes are placed in this shot you’re talking about and describing to me. Look at how you’ve just described how it made you feel, and look at the perspective here. Especially look at Shiro’s and Pidge’s eyeline: 

Yeah. From this distance, it looks like Shiro is almost looking directly at us. A zoom-in proves that it’s not completely centre:

But god MY GOD. HECKANSDOH. it’s pretty damn close when you look from this distance

We just…. it really can be felt. The way this is positioned, it hits us. Just like it hits Keith. 

Now i’m stepping away and looking more from a perspective of audience rather than just Keith, I’m pretty sure we’re supposed to be in Keith’s place here. We’re meant to see this from where he is standing. I think that’s one of the reasons why it has made so many people feel so strongly (note: one. there’s a lot going on here). 

If we are supposed to be there with Keith and seeing it with him, it could potentially explain why this particular shot looks this way. Everyone really does look so harsh. Granted, there is frustration and anger here. but it really does seem SO GOD DAMN INTENSE. bECAUSE TO KEITH IT DEFINITELY WOULD BE RIGHT NOW. FOR MANY REASONS. 

Keith can be pretty good at judging character but he is not so good at determining how OTHER PEOPLE judge HIS character. He is great at being objective in terms of the mission and making a decision for the greater good, but he is not objective in terms of how he thinks and believes other people see him. How he sees things regarding his relationships w the team or how they see him is not the Objective Truth (and vice versa). 

Also note, all of the shots of Keith in comparison are much closer to him. No close-ups of the team. It tends to pan sideways, Keith’s pans in towards him. And I don’t think it’s any coincidence that starts once he starts delivering his speech to the team about Shiro finding the black lion: 

LOOK AT THE PLACEMENT OF THIS SHOT. KEITH’S EYES. 

You can see we’ve gotten closer to Keith as he’s talking. Also look at that parallel!!! Keith’s eyes look like they’re close to the centre of the screen too. Just like Shiro’s did before. Not quite on us but we still feel close. 

PULLING AWAY FROM US. WE LITERALLY PULL AWAY FROM KEITH IN THE NEXT SHOT:

Long answer is Long so more under the cut:


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Anonymous requested:  “This one might be a little dirty.. hehe.. Sheldon discovers naughty internet videos for the first time. He is fascinated and asks amy to watch a film with him on date night, without her knowing what kind of movie he picked. They talk about it, Sheldon might reveal his secret physical attraction towards Amy and his urges.”

Sheldon was looking at techniques to improve coitus with Amy.  She said he was already good at it, but he thought that he could always get better.  There were a lot of dirty minded people out there, so he was having trouble finding something that wasn’t completely disgusting.  He wasn’t having as much luck as he thought, so he just clicked on one of the videos and covered his eyes.

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anonymous asked:

Did mentions of alcohol seem ooc in 11.15? Sam commenting on Dean having a beer at noon when we've seen Dean have whisky first thing out of bed; Dean commenting on how much the wrestlers drink. If nothing's random, then what does this mean? Is it meant to show us that the winchesters are getting old af? (I am also old af)

Howdy. Disclaimer right off the bat, I am also old af. Well, older than J2M in real life, at least. Okay, I’m 3 months older than Misha. And Dean has a long and complicated history with alcohol. Second disclaimer: we’re talking about a fictional tv character here, so real-world notions of alcoholism and alcohol use in general don’t really apply the same way, when alcohol is more of a plot device/characterization tool/metaphor etc. Of course, if we were talking about the case study of an actual human, I’d be extremely concerned for their health and well being on a fundamental level, but we’re talking about a character here, so I’m taking some liberties that I would never apply in real life. Just so that’s clear.

I think we’ve really been seeing a different approach to Dean’s alcohol use for a while now. Much of s7 was the Alcohol-Is-A-Vitamin self-medicating Dean, but once he got back from purgatory in s8 we started seeing him just as often with a cup of coffee as a beer. And yeah, in a way that was just substituting caffeine for alcohol, but at least caffeine isn’t the same sort of intoxicant as alcohol is.

He again began drinking heavily in s9 again as a method of self-medication to help him deal with the Mark, and what it was doing to him. That hit new lows when Dean was a demon at the beginning of s10, but once he was “cured” s10 became a season-long experiment with Dean trying out all sorts of different approaches to both manage the lingering effects of the Mark and also trying to figure himself out in general. He tried all sorts of different foods, branched out into enjoying cake and croissookies, and seemed to drink less in general. There was one episode where he guzzled bottle after bottle of water, even (10.15). It was only when the mark was taking over again toward the end of s10 that he started in with the binge drinking again.

Now that the Mark is gone (even though it’s out there walking around eating souls and wreaking havoc), we’ve mainly seen Dean consuming alcohol in a casual fashion that seems… more moderate, for lack of a better term. (*reminder that we’re talking about a fictional character, and a story where alcohol becomes just another characterization tool, and doesn’t necessarily have real-world consequences)

Since the beginning of s11, we’ve only really seen Dean “drunk” or at least theoretically drinking heavily (i.e. more than a beer or two, or the glass of wine he had for dinner at Jody’s house. And I really should write something up about that, because Dean? DRINKING WINE?! Wow there’s probably some pie vs cake sort of meta in there somewhere, right?). Where was I… OH. Right. We’ve only seen Dean drinking heavily three times.

in 11.04 he spent the night in Jimmy’s Roadhouse and only stumbled out to the car at dawn, claiming “mistakes were made.” At the time, there were a lot of conflicting opinions over what those mistakes may have been, ranging from a fight to getting blackout drunk and passing out to a questionable hookup in the men’s room (whether with a man or a woman). But this was also “performing Dean” who had taunted Sam for not wanting to let loose and have fun the night before, and then it was SAM who ended up letting loose and having fun, which led me to believe that Dean… didn’t. He looked so stiff and weary the next morning, while Sam seemed pretty content with himself. So was this just another instance of Dean telling a story for Sam because that’s what he was expected to do? Because that was Dean’s entire reason for stopping at that roadhouse to begin with, to recall a long-ago hookup he had there that he still remembered fondly. He didn’t brag about his conquests; in fact he even framed the entire evening with the word “mistakes,” and perhaps the biggest mistake he made was believing he could reclaim that past.

There’s an ongoing theme right now of “you can’t outrun your past,” and right there, in 11.04, not only could Dean not outrun his past, but when he tried to relive a small piece of it that he’d once enjoyed, he no longer felt the same way about it. Things that had once brought him happiness maybe aren’t enough to continue sustaining him, especially when taken in context of Sam’s asking if he ever thinks about having “something more.” Dean denies he could ever have it, but he’s also clearly tired of pretending he’s satisfied with what he’d accepted in the past.

The next time we see Dean drink more than a casual beer or glass of wine (pffft still not over that), is in 11.13. (*again, disclaimer- fictional character- sometimes a beer is just a beer- a beer is the traditional Winchester BM scene beverage of choice, etc.)

Dean stumbles into the kitchen first thing in the morning, looking like he passed out in his clothes, with even his sock half-pulled-off and flapping around like he just can’t be fussed to fix it. To me, as an “old” person (sheesh I’m 41, I’m not like 90 or anything), I have experience waking up hung over, and I also have experience waking up from doing something dumb like sleeping on the floor. And yeah, there’s an obvious intersection on the Venn diagram of “being incredibly drunk” and “sleeping on the floor” (or on the sidewalk, or under a table, or on a barroom bench).

The thing that rubbed me wrong about Dean’s shuffling, stiff walk at the beginning of 11.13 is that he was so horribly and obviously stiff. He just looked like he was in pain. There was an element of hangover to his “performance” but to me, speaking as someone with a congenital spinal defect who often moves like that first thing in the morning, he looked like someone who’d slept somewhere unfortunate, such as in the front seat of his car, slumped over a bar, or the like. Alcohol may have led to finding himself in such an uncomfortable state, but the majority of his movements were more reminiscent to ME of generalized pain, as opposed to someone claiming to have had a relaxing night of fun and pleasure, you know? He walked the way I did the morning after I spent five hours at the gym perfecting a 180 move staff form. *it occurs to me that I should mention I do kung fu, and trust me, throwing yourself around and spinning a 6′ long stick for five hours MAKES YOU SORE*

So we have two different looks at what Dean’s been up to with regard to getting drunk and seeking out company in bars, but neither of them give us more than general clues that I’ve attempted to describe above. So really, all we have are two performances of Dean for Sam’s benefit, and not a real idea of how Dean actually spent both of those nights.

Back in 11.04, when he realized that Sam wasn’t just passed out alone on the back seat, Dean immediately gave him some privacy (after a quick peek in the back, because really…) But he did it without much complaint, more congratulating Sam on a job well done than continuing to make a big deal of his own misadventures (whatever they may have been).

SO FINALLY TO ADDRESS THE SCENE FROM 11.15! I knew I could get there eventually… sorry about that…

For the first time, we are actually SHOWN what Dean’s up to in the bar. Granted, we have to take his word on how he went from having one shot with Gunner to ending up passed out on the bench, with the bar emptied out around him and even the chairs stacked up on the tables like they were closing up without bothering to kick him out. But the rest of his story doesn’t really add up, either.

I made a comment during the liveblogging about Dabb’s legendary car continuity discrepancies, with a shout out to @elizabethrobertajones because she has an ongoing vendetta. What stood out to me was that when Sam called Dean at the bar as he was sharing that first shot with Gunner, Sam was apparently headed to the bar from their motel to meet up with Dean. JUST HOW FAR AWAY WAS THEIR MOTEL, ANYWAY? Far enough that, despite already being in the car on his way to the bar, Dean went from straight-up sober to passed out drunk before Sam arrived? That seems to be an impractically far away motel, no?

So it couldn’t have been that long that Dean was at the bar before Sam arrived. Let’s go with “less than half an hour,” because I googled Brimson, Missouri where the episode was set, and it’s got a whopping population of 63 people. It’s smaller than Lebanon, Kansas, and just as isolated. So even if they had to drive out to the nearest interstate highway or larger town to find a motel, it’s still about 20 miles, which they could manage in less than half an hour on the deserted sort of roads around Brimson.

So somehow Dean went from fine, to life of the party drinking with a bunch of his childhood heroes (all the wrestlers, who apparently can really drink), to liver-screaming drunk in a closed-down bar. What happened to all those other people who’d been in the bar partying? Did they drink their fill on Dean’s dime and then just bolt? Dean was obviously hanging out waiting for Sam, but he was also on a case. We know Dean’s USUALLY pretty responsible while working a case, and doesn’t let himself get passing out drunk while there’s demons afoot, you know? There are some pretty notable exceptions to that, but the majority of the time, when he’s working, he’s working, and not getting drunk.

What really set Dean’s behavior in a different light, for me at least, was the very prominent El Sol sign behind Sam when he finds Dean asleep on the bench. El Sol, ever since 2.20, has been the beer sign associated with deception or things not being as they seem. @justanotheridijiton has a wonderful compilation post (*ETA THAT’S THE WRONG LINK, HERE’S THE RIGHT ONE) of all the instances of El Sol signs being used in this way. It’s pretty extensive.

So when Sam wanders in and asks Dean what happened, Dean rambles out a weird little tale about how all the wrestlers drank him under the table, even though he managed to test them all with the holy water, too. I guess Dean really is out of practice when drinking the hard liquor. He might still have beer for lunch, but tequila shots can take him down.

To be fair, tequila shots could take me down even when I was young and stupid and borderline alcoholic, so I feel his pain. The saying “one tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor,” I FEEL THAT FEELING SO DEEPLY. I HAVE STORIES OH MY GOD. But that’s for another post… or probably not >.>

So maybe when Dean begged off and decided he was done paying to pour liquor for a bunch of guys who seemed to have no limit to their alcohol tolerance, he decided to lay down and take a nap. When the free drinks stopped coming (maybe the bartender lady had pity on him and kicked the rest of the guys out? who knows), the bar cleared out pretty fast, I suppose?

Whatever the truth was, we saw Dean, asleep, alone. In an uncomfortable place. But the thing is, his movements there were a lot more like those I associate with drunk Dean. He was all floppy and droopy, loose-limbed and tired, but Sam got to him before he spent an entire night passed out like that, before he could begin to feel the effects of sleeping in such a horrible position on a hard bench.

Whatever the case, that El Sol sign, paired with the brightest light in the whole bar hanging right next to it beside Sam, stands out the most. There is some level of deception/dishonesty happening there. Dean even says, “Why is it so bright in here?” And yeah, that’s a side effect from alcohol intoxication, but he also said it while looking up at Sam AND THE EL SOL SIGN, the “fake sun,” which really wasn’t all that bright on its own in a rather dimly lit bar.

So it’s been a while since Dean would roll out of bed and pick up a whiskey bottle. And while Dean does drink beer (and apparently even wine now!) more casually with meals or when he’s just relaxing or whatever, he’s been drinking coffee just as often. He and Sam were both drinking coffee at the beginning of 11.15, and had been doing so pretty heavily for the last week or more judging by Dean’s assertion that he was burned out from the nonstop research, and getting nowhere fast with it.

In 11.14, Dean drinking that beer was more of a childish jab at Sam because Sam had drunk half a bag worth of coffee by himself and left none for Dean (RUDE, SAM!). I think a lot of Dean’s inability to keep up with the wrestlers first of all had to do with their relative size. Those guys made Dean look small. They had an advantage on him just based on that. If he’d tried to keep up with a bunch of guys who were known alcoholics but also outweighed him by at least 50 or 60 lbs, even Dean at his s7 drunkest probably couldn’t have kept up. Maybe only Demon Dean would’ve, just because he had super demon healing powers.

Much as he drank as a demon, he never really seemed drunk.

My main takeaway was not necessarily that Dean’s getting old, per se, but that he’s been learning moderation recently. And in turn, he’s learning the consequences of straying off that path of moderation. But why only show one thing when the same scene can teach us dozens of things? Because we also had the El Sol mention, and the update on the case and that none of the wrestlers were possessed by demons, and Dean having a great time with some of his childhood heroes, and revealing a little bit more about what Dean’s actually doing while out at bars, i.e. passing out on a bench alone…

*scrolls back up and looks at the enormity of all that crap I typed* I’m sure I had a point somewhere in all that. *gives up and shuffles off in search of a drink*

Michael Imagine: Friends with Benefits

Author: Rhine

-

It was supposed to be harmless.

Just nights when you both needed someone; in-between moments where two lonely people needed another body to hold for a few hours; an escape away, a getaway of two bodies entwined with one another for a single night.

It was a need; a desire to be held for more than a second, a craving for skin and burning with lust because love was always just a little too far away for the both of you.

But it was enough, it was nothing, and that’s why the two of you agreed to it.

You were each other’s something when there was nothing, and you were both the nothing when the somethings of reality peeked through the curtains with the first threads of daylight.

You were the in between, the not-quite, the almost.

The more than friends but less than lovers.

You were a balancing act of secrets hidden in the sheets and you were the silence of his pale body shining in the moonlight; you weren’t the public display of love and you weren’t the whispered I love you’s.

You were the purple bruises on his neck that he hid with tall collars; the scratches on his skin for sweater-pawed days; the trace of your scent hidden on his skin and the taste of your secret on the back of his tongue.

And you always said, you promised that you would be nothing but a one night he could forget on the several nights when his mind was working too hard; the poison that would burn his numb lips and ignite something – anything – in his hollow body.

You were there merely to feel, not to love.

That’s what you agreed to.

Someone who wouldn’t ask questions, someone who could be something he got lost in during the dark hours and a clean slate in the morning that he’d leave.

You were an escape, simply put.

An escape from reality, from responsibility, from his mind, from his hollow heart.

You were the temporary something when he felt nothing, the substitute for what he couldn’t find just yet.

But one can only handle being needed only when they’re needed; one can only be temporary for so long.

The thing is that with temporary, you were either thrown away or a permanent fixture in time.

And you couldn’t handle waking up to another empty bed.

-

You don’t know if what you feel is love.

You know you love the way his body slants over yours; how the slopes of his face is illuminated in the dark; how he leaves marks in all the right places and how he knows you in a way that nobody else does.

But he only knows you in the dark of the night; he knows you but he only knows the shadows of your bones and the dip of your waist and the curve of your legs.

He knows it better than anyone else ever did or ever will; he knows it and he’s mapped it and he’s marked it as his over and over again.

But there’s so much more to you than that.

There’s a whole other side; a whole other universe that Michael hasn’t discovered about you.

That he doesn’t care to discover.

And you know it’s the same for him; you know him and you know his breath on your neck but you don’t know his words in your ears and you don’t know what it’s like to have his words spun out for you only for you and you don’t know what it’s like to have his gentle touch instead of his bruising fingers.

You see, you’ve practically memorized Michael’s silhouette in your bed after a long day; when he wants to disappear in the night with you.

But you have no clue what it’s like to start the day with him, to see his eyes in the sunlight and know the colours that they shine; to have him even smile at you instead of that hungry smirk.

It’s strange, knowing Michael so well but still realizing he’s nothing but a stranger.

And you don’t know if it’s love, but something inside of you grows with the discontent with every morning you wake up alone.

It’s this uncomfortable sensation that settles on your skin, this nagging itch of having someone – just barely – yet being so wholly alone at the same time.

It’s this hollow feeling of having nothing.

Of being nothing to him.

And the only thing you know is that you either want more or you want nothing to do with him at all.

But you can’t seem to let him go.

-

He says he can’t ever have anything.

And that’s why he has you.

I’ve got tours in a new city every day; thousands of people looking at me from under a microscope and analyzing everything I do. I’m barely in one timezone for an evening before flying somewhere else in the morning and you don’t understand you don’t know but everything I have everything I’ll ever have from this is temporary.

But he has you in the palm of his hand, and you know exactly what that makes you.

Just a sustained good-bye. A prolonged maybe.

And you want to be the hint of a possibility, you want to be that chance, that something in his life that he always saw as impossible for someone like him.

You wanted him.

You didn’t want Michael and his burning lips, you didn’t want his smoldering gaze and his hungry touch; you wanted Michael you wanted him as a whole, but more importantly, you wanted him to want you as a whole.

You were tired of being nothing. Of being temporary.

But maybe you just wanted to be the permanent because you feared being thrown away with the bruises in the shape of his fingertips still on your skin.

You’ve made me yours, but why can’t you be mine?

You want to ask the question, you want to let him know that if he asked you to stay you would’ve.

But you’re afraid to ask him to stay because you already know the answer.

He leaves for tour the next day.

-

And he’s gone, just like that.

No warning, no message, no call, no goodbye.

Nothing.

But you have to remember, you are nothing to him in the daylight, and you shouldn’t have expected anything more.

And you start to wonder whether or not Michael’s life was made up of scenes as fleeting as he described, or if he was merely fleeing from place to place to avoid the permanent that he said he could never have.

If the permanent was something he could never have because it was something he never wanted.

Because you’re left standing alone and you know what you are to him and you know now what you wanted from him was something you and anyone else would never get out of Michael Clifford, the boy who would always have the ghost of his touch on your skin.

You held him for a night, he noticed you for a moment.

You almost had him, for a fleeting second.

And perhaps it was because of that, he left.

Because you were tipping too close to something the white-haired boy swore he’d never have. Because you were supposed to have only one role for the boy with the stars in his eyes that you’d forever know, the sun in his smile always hidden from you.

You were only ever meant to be one thing to Michael Clifford.

Temporary.

-

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We can make this right, can't we, Cas? Come back to us. Come back to me.

Can we talk more about this photoset? You’ll notice Crowley in the background, keenly observing Dean and Castiel’s dynamic. Road Trip happens just before First Born, they’re back to back.

amagicbeyond wrote a brilliant meta on Crowley, and how it’s fundamental that Crowley didn’t lie to Dean. I’ve written on this before, and I think Crowley hasn’t lied to Dean, but he sure is lying to himself. Crowley didn’t lie to Dean, but he manipulated him, and this scene from Road Trip is key to his manipulation. You can see the cogs turning in his head.

So, back to the photoset. What I thought I first observed was an inverse parallel of Cain and Collette’s story, ie. Dean-Cain asking Collette-Castiel to stop, and he stopped. But having thought about the broad arc of the season more, I think we’ve actually miscast Cain and Collette in this story.

Collette is Dean.

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And Crowley, when he took Dean to see Cain, used this similarity between their lives and their stories to manipulate Dean into taking the mark. He knew Dean could relate to Colette and would be touched by the tragic and romantic story of Cain and Colette, because he had lived it. Crowley saw Dean stop Castiel, in the warehouse and he knew exactly what kind of history they had because he himself had caused it all.

Crowley is Lucifer.

Castiel is an inverse parallel of Cain. An angel who made a deal with the Devil for the best of intentions (although not to save his brother, but to defeat him) and did terrible things and then stopped for the love of a human. Dean actually uses the words ‘went off the reservation’ to describe Cain in First Born, which is how Sam described Castiel in Meet the New Boss.

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(Deep voice, bright blue eyes. The guy could be an older Misha Collins. Look at him.)

It goes back to S06 (“Why is 6 afraid of 7?”). Castiel made a deal with Crowley that compromised everything he was to save humanity. He did terrible things, brought on chaos and darkness. Dean asked him to stop, but he didn’t. He didn’t stop, he was stopped.

And then Dean forgave him. Loved him unconditionally. Knowing what he was and what he had done, Dean loved him anyway. After everything he had done, and he had done quite a lot. Stairway to Heaven, where Dean asks Castiel stop again, is a direct callback to S06. They actually rehash their old argument.

“And the last time you had this kind of juice, you did kill humans and angels, and you did nothing but lie to me and Sam about it the whole damn time!”

Forgiving doesn’t mean forgetting.

At the end of S09, Dean asks Castiel stop again (in fact, both Metatron and Dean say the word 'stop’ to Castiel in the episode), and again he says no. And he’s met with Dean’s unconditional love . “To help.”.

Until right now that line had bugged me, because I didn’t understand Dean’s motivation. It didn’t make sense. Was Dean afraid Castiel would do something stupid and wanted Sam to keep an eye on him? Was Dean worried that Castiel would get himself hurt and wanted to keep him away? Did Dean trust Castiel or not? Sending his little brother away with Castiel is the greatest gift Dean Winchester can give, and is manifestation of his unconditional love. Unconditional.

And then, Cas stopped.

He gave up his army, for 'one guy’. He laid down his angel sword because Dean asked him to. He was done.

Until he lost Dean.

Now this is where it gets interesting. Cain took up the blade again after the Knights took Collette. After Castiel thought Dean died, he only wanted to be an angel again. He’d laid down his angel blade, and now he lifts it again. And perhaps, once he finds out what happened to Dean, demonic Dean, he will want to take retribution, whether it is to slaughter angels (Metatron is Abaddon, whom Cain had failed to kill) or demons. And only Dean can make him stop. But does it mean that Castiel will have to stab demonic Dean?

Cain didn’t give Dean the mark because he reminded him of himself. He gave Dean the mark because Dean reminded him of Colette, Colette who wouldn’t give up on him even when she was dying.

Cain: You never give up on anything, do you?

Dean: Never.

Cain: Well, I do.

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Look at the former image from Crowley’s vantage point. Crowley knows what’s what.

anonymous asked:

Do you feel that Bucky is a safe person for others to be around or do you feel that perhaps with all the damage done to him that he is unpredictable? In the movie, he seemed very much nervous and unsure around others. His body language says a lot.

It’s interesting that you talk about body language, because it gives me another opportunity to praise Sebastian and his acting skills. Okay, so, you know that scene where Zemo lists the words that activate TWS?? Everything about Sebastian’s performance changed in that scene. When he’s sat in the cage/cell as Bucky, his entire body screams submission, like he’s just accepting his fate, there’s literally no fight in him. But the moment after Zemo say Freight Car (which, pls, can you believe the final word in the sequence to activate The Winter Soldier is the thing that took him away from Steve in the first place??? i gtg) he stands back up, and his entire stance is worlds away from how we’ve seen him so far. His shoulders are wider, his jaw is squared, his head is forward, you can tell he’s grinding his teeth, i can’t describe how his eyes change, but they do, you can see in his eyes that Bucky is no longer at the steering wheel. The way he walks is different, when he walks as Bucky he sorta leads with the lower half of his body (i know ur all probs like “well obviously B, he’s walking, how else is he going to do it” but, bear with me) but when he walks as TWS, he leads by his shoulders and his forehead, which is immediately a more threatening “don’t fuck with me” walk, as opposed to Bucky’s “I don’t want to draw attention” walk. As Bucky he tends to hang back, he tries to keep out of the way, physically distancing himself from people that he could hurt. (Except Steve, he’s literally always on Steve’s left in this film, it made me want to yELL) 

So to bring this around to your question of do I feel that Bucky is a safe person for others to be around. Yes and no. Bucky, as far as we are aware, has been living quite happily in Romania since TWS ended in 2014, and has been doing his best to keep a low profile. He doesn’t want to kill people, he probably doesn’t even want to hurt people, he says as much to Steve in that scene in his safehouse. “I don’t do that anymore” “I’m not going to kill anyone”. He’s capable of adjusting his fight style to ensure the people he’s fighting don’t die or get too seriously injured, and he consciously wants to be better, he’s been actively trying to find out who he was before. So I think yeah, Bucky is safe for other people to be around. 

However, the no part of my answer comes from Zemo. We know those words he used can activate TWS, we don’t know what else can do that, if there is anything else that can do that. There’s a lot of unknowns with Bucky, there’s a lot going on inside his head, that he can’t quite get to grips with yet, that he doesn’t understand. And I guess that does make him unpredictable. Not unpredictable in the sense of “is he good, is he bad, is he neither???” because, I think we all know that Bucky Barnes is inherently a good man, and even now, after everything HYDRA did to him, he’s still good and he still wants to do the right thing, and he doesn’t want to cause any trouble. He’s unpredictable because he doesn’t trust himself and he’s burdened with memories of lives he took without choice and he’s probably scared of what he’s capable of. But I think, unless someone else were to trigger TWS, the biggest threat Bucky Barnes poses, is to himself.