i can't even because of feelings

My dogs are all having some sort of club meeting under my bed and I wasn’t invited. Noodle keeps happy scream barking so clearly is a lot of fucking fun and Hubble brought his grunting hedgehog so its an actual party.

Thanks guys.

I’ll just sit on the top of the bed…

ALONE.

anyone else kinda terrified you’ll never be able to hold a job in the future because of your mental illness

2

Close enough

SNAPCHAT ADVENTURES 🔥🔥🔥 there was going to be other stuff to go w this image but I couldn’t find the energy to do it ATM (perhaps I will add on later!)

Messy study thing with Mobu because I hate studies but I love Mobu…///

I’m in the middle of season 3 of Black Sails and I know two things for sure:

  1. everyone is a little in love with Captain Flint
  2. everyone is really irritated at being a little in love with Captain Flint

i wish i could do things right and i wish i had motivation to get up

okay but i want a fic where the enterprise is like on the outskirts of federation space and they pick up survivors of a half-wrecked cardassian freighter and one of the refugees is sybok who totally knew the attack was coming and low key orchestrated it but thats another story because when he gets beamed aboard he and spock have a reunion and it’s very logical and all but kirk is like holy shit spock you have a brother??? why did i not know?? and spock is like you never asked and sybok takes one look at the two of them interacting and realizes how bad his baby brother has it for his captain and says wow spock way to introduce me to your t’hy’la and spock BUGS OUT and gets all flustered and kirk has never seen him act like that before and is like wait what does that mean and spock won’t tell him and practically runs away and sybok is too busy laughing and getting debriefed, and then for the rest of the mission spock won’t look at kirk and he starts to wonder what that word actually means so he keeps trying to work it out of sybok or uhura but they won’t tell him and spock avoids him like the plague, and kirk starts to get dejected because maybe he’s done something wrong, somehow offended spock or something, and sybok realizes that the human is stupid in love too, and bribes scotty to lock them in the turbolift or a supply closet or something because they’re both just idiots and they need to make out and of course scotty does it because its been painfully obvious to everyone on the ship for months that the captain and first officer are SO IN LOVE, LIKE GO FUCK ALREADY JESUS 

and then they do. in the turbolift. 

8

the get down
☞  1.01 where there is ruin, there is hope for treasure 
↳ ‘large and in charge

anonymous asked:

Alright so this is a question I ask mostly for selfish reasons so I totally understand if you dont answer it. Also it's a hella personal question. That said. I just finished listening to that thing from P4A (AMAZING and I can't wait for more), and I also just noticed your last post... Are you bi? I ask because I am but I'm not fully out and I'm in a long-term hetero relationship and feeling like I'm a fraud.

Am I sometimes attracted to dudes? Sure. But I’m not sure I would claim the label because I don’t think I’m effected by the same frustrations and difficulties as out bisexual people. Even before I was in a long-ass-term committed relationship, I was straight enough (and society either confused or upset by bisexuality enough) that I didn’t hook up with dudes. 

I think that would have been a really confusing thing for me to confront when I was coming of age in the 90s (not having much experience with bisexual people (especially out bi men.)) I don’t really regret this because, honestly, my sexuality and sexual expression aren’t a huge part of my identity. That’s just me though.

So I think it’s an interesting question, but don’t feel like a fraud. Your sexuality is yours to do what you want with. It’s up to you how you express it and how you share it. 

anonymous asked:

I can't help but hate levi///han now that levi is a dick to hange and doesn't deserve her I read this theory that questiong thing from this month means they are not even friends anymore bcoz levi doesn't feel comfortable enough to call hange by the nickame he had for her anymore and that's sad and also makes me angry because hange is always so nice to him and levi is a douche

Eh, that’s not how I see it.

IMO him dropping that nickname means 1) he legitimately respects her new position and wants to place an emphasis on that by example (humanity’s strongest soldier respecting the new commander is a big deal), and 2) he’s actively trying not to be a dick by throwing out a nickname that is NO LONGER APPROPRIATE – not just due to her rank, but, you know, the fact that she’s lost/damaged/ruined one of her eyes, now. 

The situation that ruined her eye was extremely traumatic: it got her work assistant killed–not to mention all of her colleagues: people’s she’s known for years of her career. This includes Erwin, whose shoes she has to fill right away. I doubt she wants the reminder of that terrible day spat out of Levi’s mouth like it’s some kind of a funny joke when there’s very little chance of her being able to see it that way anymore. I know everyone thinks Hange would take it with a grain of salt and all that (cracking jokes galore), but she has feelings and again: the situation was very traumatic. You don’t see Levi cracking jokes about his traumatic experiences, do you?

Fandom conveniently forgets that Hange is a person who experiences human emotion because they’re desperate to keep the ship dynamic for levihan the same forever.

And look, until we got this information, I think interpreting Hange as the sort of person who wanted normalcy there to distract from the depressing and painful reality was believable and realistic.

But with this information it seems that’s not actually the case.

And that’s okay! There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s okay for your headcanons to be proven wrong on occasion.

And listen to me, here: people change. They grow, and it’s not always apart. Sometimes they grow together, especially after they’ve been through something rough. The fight in Shiganshina was a rough experience. 

Hange has been through a surprising lot, though she’s barely focused on during those chapters. Almost the entire military branch she works in was wiped out. She lost countless acquaintances and friends. Now she has to lead what’s left of it…and without an eye. I wish fandom would stop laughing it off like it’s a cute “fun” injury because it looks “cool.” It was probably highly traumatic and painful for her, not just in the moment, either. The fact that it took so long for her to get treatment might have even been the real reason she lost it. The eye loss is associated with all kinds of trauma, both physical and mental. She’s a soldier, she’s accepted that something like this could happen, but that doesn’t make it easier to deal with; it doesn’t make any of her losses less painful.

So let’s talk about the responsibility that’s instantly clamped down on her shoulders after this, because Hange doesn’t even get a second to herself to just, you know, mourn or be sad. She’s the commander now. And while the SC might have sealed the wall(s), it was at a great price (and still under Erwin’s command almost entirely). Hange is going to have to fight for respect from pretty much everyone. Mission accomplished and all, but now that the walls are sealed, humanity is safe again lmao fuck the Survey Corps do we even need that branch anymore? Hange is going to have to present a case to save humanity and exterminate the titans and she’s going to need all the respect she can get to do that. She’s going to need more soldiers because <10 isn’t going to be enough. She’s going to need money and supplies and gear. I hate saying this, but it might not be something she’s capable of presenting on her own merit because she’s largely unknown by the people. (Her newspaper shenanigans help her case but only in that specific area.) However, humanity’s strongest soldier has pretty much all the respect from everyone in this world. If he has her back and is standing proudly at her side, it probably helps her case immensely. (He believes her, he believes in her, this isn’t some kind of a sick joke.)

I want to remind everyone, too, that when the newspapers start telling “the truth” of humanity’s situation, it’s like a 50/50 split? Lots of people think it’s bullshit. That doesn’t help Hange. Like I said: she needs all the respect and the backup she can get. Literally every ounce.


IMO, Levi dropping the nickname “shitty-glasses” was the best thing that could have happened to the ship. I know people think it means they’re not “equals” anymore, but everyone’s focusing on the wrong thing, here.

Up to this point in the manga we’ve seen Levi treat Hange more or less equally, but even in his attempts to comfort her he’s rough. He calls her by a rude nickname that we’re never sure is supposed to be endearing or not. For all we know, he means it in the way a coworker might call the fat guy in the group “porkchop” or other kids might be mean to a classmate by calling them “four-eyes.” Speculation and headcanons aside, canon hasn’t ever really given us a clear idea of what that nickname meant to Levi, let alone to Hange. She lets him call her it, but that doesn’t tell us much. For all we ever knew, she was used to being treated poorly by her peers.

However, with this new information, it sounds much more like the nickname “shitty-glasses” was, coming from Levi, an awkwardly endearing nickname–one he meant no harm with.

And we see that because he drops it. He goes out of his way to consciously stop a habit of his that would seem disrespectful to other people regardless of what it originally meant between them. Levi respects Hange and this is how he shows it. That’s a big deal.

I’d also like to point out, again, that it’s very likely he does this out of more than just respect for his commanding officer. Levi is hardly one to follow conventions, after all.

Hange is his friend. He cares about her safety and we’ve seen this (beneath the chapel). We’ve also seen him clumsily care about the place she’s in mentally (post-Nick’s death). I don’t think it’s a stretch to say that he cares about her feelings, too. And if this nickname drudges up emotional backlash and trauma for her, then by dropping it he’s showing that he cares about her and respects her as his friend.

3

How come no one ever talks about how soft this is?

And yes, this is them actually looking at each other, it’s not edited. This is real.

And yes, I have to say that because this is some incredibly intimate gazing and I simply can't…

It’s like they were rediscovering one another, like they were falling in love right than and there. I’m not even trying to be dramatic, this just legitimately seems to me like the gazing of two people who feel many deep emotions for one another.

And the fact that they’re the ones who shared that look really gets to me.

shoutout to all my closeted LGBT+ friends who are feeling shitty about pride. you aren’t less lgbt for keeping yourself safe. i know it’s heartbreaking but u know what? one day you will walk (or wheel, or w/e your method of transportation is) in a parade next to the friends you’ve made. one day you will be able to deck yourself in so many flags you can’t even stand. one day you will be called whatever pronouns you choose. one day you will not be in the closet. there will be so many more pride months. im here for you, and i feel you, and i know it’s scary right now but it won’t always be. you will have another chance. don’t give up.

Hardcore I want this

Somebody help!!!
I just got this image in my head of Elain and Az in the kitchen. And she’s smiling at him-flour absolutely everywhere. All over her cheeks, and her nose, her dress is covered in it.
she kisses him, with such joy on her tongue.
Their fist kiss and Az is now covered in flour but he doesn’t give a damn. He doesn’t remember pain, or death or even life.
No
He just knows the feel of her lips on his and his world collapsing, melding into that moment of realization.

I just watched a french fry challenge on YouTube where you are blind folded and have to guess where different fries come from, and now I want an AU where Stiles is a vlogger who challenges Derek to the french fry challenge and if Derek loses, he has to go on a date with him. 

Despite being a french fry connoisseur, Stiles loses the game. He tries to play it casual, tries to be a good sport about it, but he’s actually just plain miserable that he won’t get the chance to take Derek out on that date and woo him. He knows it’s stupid but he just….really wanted the chance to prove to Derek he can be romantic and deserving of him and all that couply jazz. He wanted one setting where he didn’t have to be careful about flirting with Derek too obviously. One night where he could just look a him without feeling self conscious when Derek caught him and chalk it up to the “Stilinski date experience” or something equally as pathetic.  

Basically, he just wanted one night to know what it felt like to hold Derek Hale’s hand (if Derek would have even let him). 

Derek leaves and Stiles mopes for the rest of the day, trying not to feel sorry for himself and utterly, utterly heart broken. Again, stupid, but he’s been pining after Derek for years. He’s considering going to bed early when his door bell rings and standing there, dressed in a fancy cardigan with a bottle of wine and - several bags of….chicken based snacks? - is Derek, asking if he’s up for “another challenge”. 

Stiles loses again but it’s okay because the moment Derek wins, he turns to him and with a grin that can only be described as the love child of ‘shy’ and ‘shit eating’ (if that is even possible), he cups Stiles’ cheek and says, “I’m going to claim my prize now.” 

The kiss tastes like chicken and too much salt but Stiles doesn’t care because it’s the best kiss of his entire life and his stomach won’t quit doing somersaults.

you know what’s cool about my friend who has major social anxiety? she doesn’t use it to put herself down. she doesn’t use it to call herself weak, or lesser of a person. if i’m going out and i invite her out, all she has to say is can’t, anxiety. and i get it. and i go out with other friends and i see her on her time when she can socialize and not feel like the weight of the world is crushing down on her. when i tell her i’m hanging out in the living room and she lets me know, can’t, anxiety, i’m staying in my bedroom. i get it. and i don’t push her, and i don’t pity her. i understand her. 

all i’m trying to say i guess, is that when things get hard mentally, and someone calls themselves weak, it upsets me. knowing your limits isn’t a weakness. being able to openly say “yeah, i didn’t go to that last week, because you know, anxiety.” isn’t something i’m going to pity a person for, and it certainly doesn’t mean i’m thinking less of you. and it bothers me to see people who have severe anxiety, and other things, equating it to a weakness. being able to openly talk about your anxiety and your depression and your inability to function as what you or society sees as common isn’t a fault. hell, it’s a strength to be able to say, “can’t, anxiety.” and i think it’s an even bigger strength of the person you’re saying it to, to be able to understand that, even if they don’t feel the same way. strength and empathy. that’s all i guess. 

how does one not get stressed

Remember that you don’t have to have anything to offer to be wanted, you’ll find people that just appreciate your presence in their lives because they like you.