i can suffer on my own

anonymous asked:

i've been writing more "grit" into my hero of ferelden lately, and although i do feel bad for making her suffer more than the game's canon already did, it's also kind of liberating on a personal level? as weird as that sounds. she is my absolute favorite oc and just allowing her to fuck up and have to deal with her mistakes (y'know, like a real person) has made me love her even more.

Same. Leandaros and Spiridon both suffer a lot and fuck up through no fault but their own. It is a personal preference, and I’m not saying I write them well, but I enjoy it. It’s cathartic, to write them screw up and face consequences. It’s hardly misery porn, it’s just something I can relate to. And I like the idea of fictional people sometimes being unable to undo their damage, or not even wanting to.

Kinda like expressing through fic that bad things happen and not being redeemed or not being able to fix things is something that happens, and life still goes on.

Reading about it and writing it makes me care and puts me at peace.

So keep on doing what you do!

Disclaimer: -I- like it and my opinions and likes continue to be subjective opinions.

I think about you everyday,
But I don’t feel the urge to dial your number today.
I think I’ve finally realized the person greeting me at the other end won’t be the person who resides in my heart but Someone who left in the middle of the night and robbed me of all my faith in people.
For the longest time, I hated you.
I couldn’t understand why you would leave me when I needed you the most.
I just couldn’t understand why you couldn’t do 10% of what I did for you all these years.
You had to be a rotten person with a rotten soul.
Right? Right? Right!
Wrong.
I think I’ve finally come to understand the fault in you and that in most others around me.
You aren’t a bad person.
You are just weak.
I was expecting strength from a person who wouldn’t even know what that is.
I was expecting courage from someone who was filled with cowardice from head to toe.
I can’t really blame you for being weak but I can learn to not surround myself with people who don’t match my strength.
When I use the word ‘weak’, it’s not what you think.
I cry. All the time.
I display my emotions like I own a boutique.
I have weekly breakdowns.
Sometimes, I get nightmares while doing daily chores.
None of that is being weak.
Being weak is running away.
It is being selfish.
It is not being able to stand up for what you believe in.
It is not being able to say what you feel.
It is seeing someone suffer and rolling your eyes.
It is lies instead of a vocabulary.

You are weak.
I can forgive you.
I understand you aren’t a bad person.
I forgive you.
I have the strength to do so.

              A small portion of some of my favourite quotes from classic literature. Feel free to change and adjust them to your needs!


“ I have been bent and broken, but - I hope - into a better shape. ”
“ Don’t cry, I’m sorry to have deceived you so much, but that’s how life is. ”
“ I am fearless, and therefore powerful. ”
“ Why are women so much more interesting to men than men are to women? ”
“ Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know ”
“ Unless he is suffering, how can you be sure that he is obeying your will and not his own? ”
“ I have great faith in fools - self-confidence my friends will call it. ”
“ Do you know where the wicked go after death? ”
“ Actually that’s my secret — I can’t even talk about you to anybody because I don’t want any more people to know how wonderful you are. ”
“ Will you love me in December as you do in May? ”
“ Hell is empty and all the devils are here! ”
“ Believe only half of what you see and nothing that you hear. ”
“ You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you. ”
“ I have gone to the forest. ”
“ I got you to look after me, and you got me to look after you, and that’s why. ”
“ One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well. ”
“ Experience is merely the name men gave to their mistakes. ”
“ If you want to keep a secret, you must also hide it from yourself. ”
“ The truth is rarely pure and never simple. ”
“ Power is in inflicting pain and humiliation. ”
“ Some are born great, others achieve greatness. ”
“ I didn’t mean no harm. ”
“ My life has the tendency to fall apart when I’m awake, you know? ”
“ If I cannot inspire love, I will cause fear! ”
“ And now that you don’t have to be perfect, you can be good. ”
“ I want to ruin you ”
“ What is hell? I maintain that it is the suffering of being unable to love. ”
“ To die laughing must be the most glorious of all glorious deaths! ”
“ If I knew myself, I’d run away. ”

8

What do you know of my heart? What do you know of anything but your own suffering. For weeks, Marianne, I’ve had this pressing on me without being at liberty to speak of it to a single creature. It was forced on me by the very person whose prior claims ruined all my hope. I have endured her exultations again and again whilst knowing myself to be divided from Edward forever. Believe me, Marianne, had I not been bound to silence I could have provided proof enough of a broken heart, even for you.

please,
oh please.

let me sink.
deep deep down
into my well of isolation.
let me be at peace
with my sadness
and my fragmented soul.

let me become one
with the darkness
plaguing my mind
working its magic
and overtaking me.

let me wallow
in the comfort
of self-loathing
set so deep
i cannot escape its grasp,
as it has become a home.

let me soothe my pain
whilst writing my story
on the insides my arms,
the top of my legs,
the sides of my hips,
the plain of my belly,
in the purest of red ink.

let me lie
in bed for hours on end
and stare at the ceiling
with my eyes closed
wondering,
whenever did i become this way?
was i always like this?
was i always meant to be like this?
is there a way to change it?
will happiness ever shine,
the faintest shed of sunlight,
in my direction?

let me cry
and through my tears,
relinquish all the pain
writing cannot
fat tears filled with emotion
frustration
sadness
loss
pain
eternal suffering
losing hope.

let me die
as i can guarantee
i already have
i am a dead girl walking
a ghost of my former self
a shell of what i used to be
of what i could be
my mind is no longer my own
my heart has long stopped caring
my soul aches for the slightest bit of ecstasy
my spirit is shattered beyond repair

but please,
oh please.

do not worry for me.
do not let me occupy your thoughts,
or take up space in your brain.
do not dwell,
on the life i am forced to live.
do not waste,
even the tiniest slice of your pity
on me.
for there are far more important things,
than one broken girl.

besides,
the time for caring has long passed,
as i will soon be dead anyway.
with either
a handful of pills,
or bloody wrists,
or watery lungs.
but it doesn’t matter how i go,
just that the job is done.

Notes on Function Maturity

Immature Si: I only seek details that make me comfortable while ignoring or downplaying important details that might require me to change course
Mature Si: I prepare myself to perform well by methodically learning and attending to every new or significant detail that each situation brings

Immature Ni: I believe I know how the world works though I can’t see myself accurately and don’t know how to live my own life meaningfully
Mature Ni: I make positive progress because I possess a deep and meaningful vision of who I should be and what I contribute to the world

Immature Ti: I follow my own rules and principles without really understanding exactly how my actions influence the world at large
Mature Ti: I seek precise knowledge of what impact my thoughts/behaviors produce so as to act coherently without harm, bias, or hypocrisy

Immature Fi: I can only see as far as my own values and suffering so I can’t formulate a factual and objective understanding of the world at large
Mature Fi: I seek deep understanding of human experience in order to act with integrity and work to prevent/alleviate suffering for myself and others

Immature Se: I simply react as circumstances dictate without enough consideration for whether the direction is the right one to take
Mature Se: I seek out new/positive learning experiences and fully appreciate that the unexpected can teach me to be more adaptable to life’s changes

Immature Ne: My mind is unable to conceptualize the best ideas or grasp the most promising opportunities for making progress in life
Mature Ne: I am confident in making continual progress because I can work out many viable paths to approach any situation or difficult problem

Immature Te: I utilize power to shape the world into what I want it to be and fail to realize that my actions do not produce universally positive results
Mature Te: I utilize my strengths to get positive results for all and work to improve my weaknesses so as to minimize negative or harmful behaviors

Immature Fe: I only care about others in terms of how they affect me and fail to treat them as individuals with their own unique needs/experiences
Mature Fe: I can see other people objectively and separately from myself and respond to their needs appropriately and compassionately

Trevor Noah is great because he can call out people like Donald Trump and Tomi Lahren in a way that even Jon Stewart never could.

“You don’t know what real racism and working class suffering is, you silly pampered NYC liberal!”

“I grew up in apartheid South Africa, my own birth was technically illegal, I couldn’t play outside as a child because I was obviously mixed race and I have seen my fair share of crazy egotistical fascist demagogue dictators.”

That’s why Noah stands out amongst late night talk show hosts. Most of them now are like: “How could this ever have happened!? In our country?”

He’s like: “Nah, I know exactly how this happened.”

Perspective, man. 

anonymous asked:

Hey! Regarding the sixpenceee fiasco I've been reading her posts and stories for like years and it might just be because I usually skim but I don't recall any specific stories that target mental illness. Do you have any clear examples??? Rly shocked tbh bc I used to love her

I’ve been seeing the stuff go around for a couple of years now and I admit at first I didn’t pay it much attention, which is a shame because a lot of those call out posts had good links that are now all gone because of people deleting. As a result, a lot of the initial stuff that made me start thinking more critically about sixpenceee’s posts have been deleted. I’ve spent the last few days trying to source them again via people’s new urls and internet archives, but literally 90% of the links are gone.

So, I’ve done a bit of digging of my own, and I’ve managed to find some still live posts that I think illustrate what I’m saying a bit better. I’ve screencapped them all and will be hosting the images myself independently of a specific post, so the links should always work.

I’m specifically focusing on the content of this ask here, with posts that use mental illness as entertainment, or treat it in the same way as regular “creepy” (i.e. horror) content.

  • The case of Margaret Schilling is a post about a woman in a psychiatric hospital who died after getting lost in the building, and her body wasn’t found for many weeks. There is a short paragraph at the end about how the hospital is apparently haunted by Margaret now, but the majority of the post focuses on her being mentally ill and the suffering she must have felt being lost and dying of cold and exposure. There’s also a picture of the stain her decomposing body left, so beware of that. It’s tagged #paranormal.
  • The Mentally Ill Man Who Cured Himself With a Gun is a post about a man with serious OCD who tried to kill himself by shooing himself in the head, resulting in brain damage that “cured” his OCD. The photo is of a man with a gun to his head, if that will bother you. It’s tagged as a science post.
  • Short Creepy Story is a story from Reddit where the “creepy” event is a schizophrenic woman acting strangely because of her hallucinations. That’s it. Dude’s mum is schizophrenic and he goes upstairs to find her in the bathtub thinking she’s in The Little Mermaid. The title is “short creepy story” so like, yeah.
  • The Child Star is a story from Reddit which focuses on children being sexually abused and not understanding what’s going on, and the police interviews with one of the grown up children who is now clearly suffering from mental illness thanks to the trauma. (Full story)
  • The Suicide Orphan is a story from Reddit which focuses on an orphan that drives people insane and results in them committing suicide, and I know that this isn’t the only example where sixpenceee posts things that use suicide as the main element of a horror story, which is exploitative and also I personally think it’s inappropriate to use something that comes as a result of serious suffering and imply that it was the creepy ghosts that did it. (Full story)
  • “Psychopath” post includes a link to a quiz where you can see where you “fit in on the psychopath sprectrum”. I’ve seen people mention her using outdated terms in her posts and so this is here as proof that it does happen, and also because “do you have a severe personality disorder?” is a bit of a cheap entertainment trick in my opinion.
  • Karin Catherine Waldegrave is a post about a woman who replies incessantly to her own posts on social media, believing she is the target of a conspiracy. It’s clear she’s likely mentally ill. The post is tagged #creepy.
  • Chinese Water Torture is a post about the torture method that drives victims to extreme stress-related mental instability, and is here both because of that and because the fact that it’s tagged #creepy, which doesn’t seem appropriate.
  • The Edmonton Train attack video shows someone apparently in an altered state of mind through drugs or mental illness (or both) attacking someone on a train. She gifed a video which has since been deleted but a different video of the attack can be found on Youtube, and described it as “insane”.
  • Drawings of a Young Schizophrenic Boy is exactly what it says – a bunch of drawings from a young boy suffering from schizophrenia. The boy is quite obviously distressed by his hallucinations but the post is treated like the other paranormal posts, designed to shock and scare. The post is also tagged #creepy, which is inappropriate. (Close up of caption and tag, as the image is difficult to read)
  • Made By a Paranoid Schizophrenic Patient is another drawing by a person suffering from schizophrenia, also tagged #creepy, and this one with a self-promo in the caption.

I also found a post where sixpenceee addresses the claims of ableism. She says she agrees on the points made about films and stories portraying the mentally ill/physically disabled as “scary”, and that she tries to avoid using words like “insane”. She also asks people to differentiate between her paranormal/creepy posts and her scientific posts. However, she still continues to frequently refer to things as “insane”, both as descriptors and to self-promote her blog (1, 2, 3).

This covers the things I’ve seen people claim she does, but if anyone has any other links (especially things saved from earlier posts like this) feel free to add on.

Forbidden Love | Pt. 11

▷ Jimin Angst

❥ “I think about you a little more than I should..”

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Epilogue

Huffing loudly, you threw your phone to the other side of your bed and wrapped your arms around your legs, head leaning on your knees.

When will this harassment end? When will your pain come to an end? Will you suffer your life long? Will you ever going to be happy in your life?

You were sick of thinking about these questions whenever you were alone. It felt like they were hunting you no matter what you were doing.

Why are there people who enjoy to ruin the lives of other people? What do they get from it?

You lifted your head up the moment you felt two strong arms around your body.
“Everything okay, Jagiya?”

Smiling softly at him, you nodded as you leaned your head on his chest. “Mhm.. everything’s alright..”

“You sure?”

Wrapping your arms around his body, you nuzzled your head in the crook of his neck. “Yeah..”

You felt how he took a deep breath and placed a little kiss on your head. “Y/N, I know that you’re still getting those messages.”

You closed your eyes and tried to control your breathing. The hot tears were already forming in your eyes.

“Y/N, look at me.”

Shaking your head, you nuzzled further into the crook oh his neck. “Hoseok-ah, I can’t do this anymore..”

Your best friend leaned back a little bit and held your head in his soft and warm hands. “Then tell him, Y/N. Stop hiding it from him. I saw the way he looked at you when you told him that I’m your boyfriend. He looked really hurt, Y/N-ah..”

“How, Hoseok, how? How can I tell him that we were pretending last night, that you’re my best friend? How can I tell him I’m still in love with him? How can I tell him that I am getting threatened with the life of my son just so I can’t see his father, the love of my life?”

Looking down, you started fiddling with your fingers, the tears already rolling down your face. “I can’t do that, Hoseok-ah.. He would blame himself for everything and I don’t want that..”

“He’s already blaming himself for everything, Y/N.”

Your head shot up at your best friends words.

Tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear, Hoseok caressed your face while he looked into your eyes. “Look, Y/N. I don’t know what kind of a person Jimin is. But when I saw him yesterday, sitting at the ground while he looked so broken and hurt, I knew that he loves you more than anything in this world. You both deserve to be happy. Think about Jihyun. Okay, he thinks I’m your boyfriend but he knows that I’m not his father. You shouldn’t take him away from his father. That would be unfair for him and for Jimin..”

You leaned your forehead against his chest and mumbled in between your sobs. “I miss him so much, Hobi.. My heart broke into million pieces when I saw him like that yesterday.. The way he looked at his own son, the way he walked out of the apartment when I said that you were my boyfriend.. I don’t think I can stand this anymore, Hoseok-ah..”

You heard a little chuckle from your best friend. “Then tell him everything, pabo. You both shouldn’t be suffering because of someone stupid who is threatening you through messages. We both know that the person can’t do anything, I will not allow it!”

Wrapping your arms around his neck as tightly as you could, you placed multiple kisses on his cheek. “Thank you so much, Hobi! I’m so glad that I have you in my life!”

Pushing you away jokingly, he scrunched his face. “Eww, stop kissing my precious face like that!”

Now smiling at you softly, he nodded his towards your phone once. “Call him.”

Nodding hesitantly, you reached out for your phone and typed Jimin’s name in your contact list.

Intertwining your hand with your best friend’s, you waited until you heard the voice you longed for so long.

“Hello?”

The minute you heard his voice, your grip around Hoseok’s hand tightened and you closed your eyes. “H-Hello, Jimin.”

“Y-Y/N? What’s wrong? Did something happen to Jihy-”

“No! No, don’t worry, everything is okay. I.. I just wanted to hear your voice..”

“W-What?”

“Yesterday, when I told you the reason why I left three years ago, I didn’t tell you everything, Jimin. There is still something that I need to tell you..”

“What do you mean, Y/N?”

“The main reason why I left isn’t because of my heart problem, Jimin. It’s because of your ex-wife…”

“W-What? Y/N, I don’t understand what your trying to say-”

“Hara threatened me with the life of our son, Jimin. That’s the main reason why I left..”

Secrets

Requested. (This was a little bit difficult for me….hope it’s up to par D:)

Song or Quote : Love is unselfishly choosing for another’s highest good.
Who: Peter Parker

Peter sulked behind Tony who led them to an old diner that miraculously was still standing after everything the city had been through. He was dreading what was going to be said to him once they finally sat down. Peter had messed up, bad. Tony ordered a black coffee and a cherry turnover while Peter just stuck to a chocolate milk. He didn’t even want anything but Tony insisted he get something. The silence was painful and seemed like it was never going to end. 

After some time of watching Tony eat his turnover, Peter finally decided to break the painful quiet. “Look, Mr. Stark, I just, I need, I want to apologize for not being on my A game tonight.” 

Tony chewed for a minute, staring at the teenager before swallowing and deciding to respond back. “Mind telling me why I almost got my head ripped off and your body almost getting torn in half? This isn’t some game, kid. It’s real life and real life means real danger and real danger means broken bones and dead bodies. When I bring you along to these kinds of things, I bring you because I need you. Just because I’m Iron-man doesn’t mean I can do everything which is something you will never hear me say again.” 

Peter bit his lip, shaking his head. Trying to find the words to justify why his mind was not where it was supposed to be. Stuttering and tripping over his words, he bowed his head and mumbled, “I’m sorry, Mr. Stark. I, it’s, I, my-”

“-just stop.” Tony sighed, running a hand over his face, he inhaled deeply. This was a kid sitting in front of him, just a kid. A kid that was fortunate to have these abilities and unfortunate at the same time because he was stuck with them. Looking at Peter, he asked calmly, “Where was your mind at, kid? Why weren’t you focused?”

Peter refused to meet Tony’s gaze, he didn’t want to admit why he had been spacing out. Because, he knew that lives were at stake but the guilt of cancelling his date with [Y/N] for the fourth time in a row was eating away at him. He desperately tried to keep his crime fighting life as Spider-Man and [Y/N] separate. He didn’t want to put that burden on her, constantly being worried whether or not he was going to make it home or not. It wasn’t fair to cause stress when he could just avoid it and keep his Spider-Man life private. 

Sipping on his coffee, Tony sternly spoke. “If we’re going to be working together, we’ve got to be honest with one another.”

Again Peter didn’t respond, he just didn’t know how. 

“What was so damn important in that brain of yours that made you forget about your life for one split second?”

Peter toyed with his hands, shrugging his shoulders, getting frustrated with himself. “I don’t know, Mr. Stark. I just, I spaced. I know this is important and that I should always stay focused but, I just, I-”

“-Peter, listen to me, and you listen good. I see potential in you, please for the love of god don’t make me regret my decision.”

Peter frowned, looking down in his lap, he toyed with his fingers again. “I’m seeing this girl, [Y/N], Mr. Stark. I have been for awhile now and I kept it a secret because I don’t know, I want to keep my personal life for just me. And I don’t want to drag her into this life because well, she doesn’t need to be apart of it.” Looking up at Tony, Peter sighed. “I’m still a kid and I want to do kid things like go to school, see her in the hall and think to myself, ‘wow, she’s so beautiful,’ and then meet up with her at the lockers and talk about how her day has been going. Go on dates, have awkward moments on those said dates, struggle to find the words to say when I find out that I love her.” Peter ran both hands through his hair, “Tonight was the fourth night in a row that I’ve cancelled on her and I’m just afraid that she’ll leave me and I don’t want that because when I’m with her, I feel good. I feel great, actually. I feel normal, I feel like just a normal kid and it’s an escape from this double life I’m living-which don’t get me wrong, Mr. Stark, this life is nice too because I feel like I’m making a difference in this world but sometimes I just need a getaway and [Y/N] is my getaway. Wait…what are you doing?” 

Tony mumbled under his breath, “I may have bit off more than I can chew.” His focus was completely focused on his watch, his fingers were hovering over a holographic keyboard as he toyed with it. In seconds [Y/N] social media profile was hovering in the air, “Is this? This is the girl you’re seeing?” Tony seemed impressed, “She’s cute.” He looked up in time to find Peter’s horrified stare, ignoring it, he skimmed through her pictures and interests. “Very cute, aw, well isn’t this sweet. Is that the Statue of Liberty? It is, isn’t it. Hm, let’s see ‘Peter took me to see Lady Liberty today!’ Oh come on, man. You took her to see the Statue of Liberty for a date?” 

Still stunned that Tony had [Y/N]’s social in his hands, he swallowed. “Uh, yeah, she, uh, she’s always wanted to go and I thought, you know, I should, wait why are we talking about this right now?” He wanted to get off the topic of [Y/N]. There was a reason why he kept her from Tony despite knowing that he could easily get onto it. 

Waving his hand over the floating images, they vanished. Toying with the keyboard some more, another image popped up over his wrist. Swiping the images, he nodded in approval. “She’s a smart girl. All A’s and lookie here, she’s in three AP classes. How old are you again? How does she have the time for this and you? These are some impressive scores, probably the highest in your grade I take it. Let’s just see, oh look, she does with you being right behind her.” Waving his hand again to make them disappear, Tony leaned forward. “Okay, look, I get why you’re head over heels, puppy dog in love with her. She’s a cute, smart, very smart girl.” 

“Did you? Did you just hack into my school’s grading system to look at her grades?”

Waggling his finger, Tony narrowed his eyes. “Ah, no changing the subject and really? You have to ask? I’m Tony Stark, I could get into this rinky dink diner’s security system and shut it down.” Clearing his throat, “Listen to me, kid. Love is unselfishly choosing for another’s highest good. You put your life at risk tonight because you were too busy worrying about her. But you know what, I get that, I get you want to protect her from this double life thing your living. I get it. But what you don’t understand is that keeping her from this, is only making it worse for you and her.” 

"I can’t just tell her I’m Spider-Man! She’ll freak out and if she freaks out, I’ll freak out. Her and Aunt May are very similar in their freaking out episodes. I have to keep it a secret.”

“You know, I’ve heard girls date men that resemble and remind them of their fathers but I’ve never heard boys dating girls that remind them of their really attractive aunts.” 

Peter narrowed his eyes, “I never said [Y/N] reminds me of Aunt May, I just said they freak out the same. But yes to some degree, I guess you could say they have similar qualities-but that’s besides the point! I am not telling her I’m Spider-Man.” 

Tony rolled his eyes, sighing dramatically. “When you have someone that means this much to you, you want to protect them and only them. I’ve been there, kid. You want to make the world a better place for them but the thing is, is when you step foot into that suit. It’s not just about them, it’s about everyone. You have a responsibility to save as many people as you can. And when you’re all in love and what not, you lose sight of that responsibility. Prime example was tonight when we almost died.” 

“So I just what? Break up with her and suffer? Because I don’t think I can do that, Mr. Stark. If anything, it’ll make my concentration worse.”

“I’m not saying that. What I am saying is you have a responsibility to save as many lives as you can without losing your own. You’re young, you’ll find other [Y/N]’s, if not better ones.”

Peter squinted his eyes, shaking his head. “No, I won’t. There’s no one like [Y/N]. No one.” 

Tony half nodded, understanding the firm point the teenager had. Sighing, he rubbed his forehead, “This job isn’t easy and you’ve got a long way to go before these instincts start to feel like second nature.” Glancing out the window, his eyes caught sight of a familiar face among a crowd of kids about to step foot into the diner. “Word of advice, Parker? You should tell her what you’ve been up to. Because one thing I will say is that despite my distaste for love, that kind of girl is not the kind of girl you let slip away from your fingers over something so irritatingly silly as not telling her who you are and what you do.” Throwing down some money, he stood up and winked at Peter before saying, “Because a few years from now, I may scout her to work for me and that’d be so unbelievably awkward to work with her after you were an idiot in not telling her.” 

“Wait, where are you going?”

“Out the door to my lavish expensive penthouse where I can take a wonderful lavender bath.”

“Peter?”

Peter spun around, frozen in place to find [Y/N] standing behind him. Struggling to stand up, his knees banged the underside of the table before scrambling out of the booth. [Y/N]?! What, what are you doing here?” 

Raising a brow, she eyed Tony suspiciously, “I could ask you the same thing…”

Tony smiled, “You must be [Y/N], Peter has told me so much about you. Sorry about having him cancel on your date but I really needed to finish up some finishing details on his entry for the September Foundation.”

“At a run down diner?” She asked, not really believing in his lie.

“You know what, you, my sweet girl, are a lot smarter than I had been told.” Moving around her, he headed for the door. “Peter will telling you everything you need to know.” Winking before leaving the door, he chuckled to himself as he left Peter looking frantic and nervous. 

[Y/N] crossed her arms, “Peter, what is going on? I thought you said Aunt May wouldn’t let you go out tonight. And why the hell was Tony Stark in this diner with you? And, the September Foundation? What is he talking about?”

Sighing, he reached for her hand, “We need to have a long talk about all of those questions but not here.” 

anonymous asked:

Yeah I really just laugh at when people compare Aang temporarily losing Appa to Katara's mother being murdered and her experiencing it and living through it, you explained it best in your previous meta, and what shocks me even more is that people don't see the connection in Zuko and Katara both losing their mothers, like yeah Zuko's mom was alive in the end but Zuko didn't know that did he? His mom was probably dead for all he knew, and that's one of many things Zuko and Katara have in common.

You’re right, I guess Zuko and Katara do have a thing or two in common …

Katara: The Fire Nation took my mother away from me.

Zuko: I’m sorry. That’s something we have in common.

Iroh: Please, sit. Why don’t you enjoy a cup of calming jasmine tea?
Zuko: I don’t need any calming tea!

Aang: Okay, okay, you both need to calm down.
Katara Both?  I’m completely calm!

Katara: I know it’s meant to be this way. The world needs you now. You give people hope.

Iroh: Things will never return to normal. But the important thing is, the Avatar gives Zuko hope.

Zuko: Not that you would understand. You’re like my sister. Everything always…came easy to her. She’s a firebending prodigy – and everyone adores her.

Katara: Will you PLEASE shut your air hole! Believe it or not, your infinite wisdom gets a little old sometimes. Why don’t we just throw the scroll away since you’re so naturally gifted!

Zuko: You can’t sacrifice an entire division like that! Those soldiers love and defend our nation! How can you betray them? 

Katara: No. I will never, ever turn my back on people who need me!

Aang: I… I was just showing Katara a few moves. 
Master Pakku:
You have disrespected me, my teachings, and my entire culture.

Zuko: I won’t fight you. 
Fire Lord Ozai: You will learn respect, and suffering will be your teacher. 

Zuko: You rise with the moon.

Zuko: I rise with the sun.

Iroh: Prince Zuko, have you forgotten what happened last time you dueled a master?
Zuko: I will never forget. 

Sokka: Are you crazy, Katara? You’re not gonna win this fight!

Katara: I know! I don’t care!

Katara: Why don’t you try blocking my chi now circus freak!!

Zuko: ‘I’m so pretty, look at me. I can walk on my hands, whoo!’ Circus freak!

Zuko: She’s not my girlfriend!

Katara: I’m not his girlfriend!

Katara: Here’s your chance, earthbenders! Take it! Your fate is in your own hands!

Zuko: A hundred years of fighting has left the world scarred and divided. But with the Avatar’s help, we can get it back on the  right path, and begin a new era of love and peace.

Maybe.

dream-and-slash  asked:

So I'm continuing my S7 rewatch and it bugs me how Dean is so bothered by the betrayal and subsequent death of Cas. If a friend betrays you, you're usually more angry and then it eventually goes away. But for Dean, it eats at him. He can't get over it. You know what that sounds like? A combination of a jilted lover and someone who just got his heart broken. Thoughts? (PS i love your meta write ups)

@nerdylittleshit pointed out this excellent comparison of Bobby/Karen v Dean/Cas on another post where I was talking about Bobby knowing about Dean’s feelings for Cas, I’m just going to go a little deeper.

Bobby: In 7x10 Bobby reveals that the worst part wasn’t that Karen died or that he killed her, but that they had a huge fight about him not being able to give him what she wanted and he never got the chance to reconcile with her before she died…

Dean: In 6x21 we have the infamous Dean/Cas scene were Cas asks Dean to stand behind him this ONE time, to prove his words, that he does count him as family, to trust him, but Dean refuses. Dean doesn’t give Cas what he wanted and he ends up dying before he can fix it.

Bobby: “Biggest regret of my life… You’d think it was stabbing her to death but no, I was thinking, we never got to get past this”…

Dean: Cas was also stabbed, before Dean and Cas could get past it:

6x20:

and 7x01:

They never did get to fix it, they did never get past it.

So now we have Dean, who lost Cas, but he suffered not just Cas’s own ‘betrayal’ before, but for which he knows now was all for him and his family, to protect them, as Cas told him, but also how he feels he let Cas down by not supporting him this one time he asked, which lead to all of this, because Cas asked Dean to stand behind him and prove that he was family and he didn’t. 

Which led to his making the final choice to face Raphael alone, to open up purgatory and ending up destroying him. 

Cas explicitly said this was why he did it, and right before Sam stabbed him too, to hammer the point home as it were:

“So, you see, I saved you. You doubted me, fought against me, but I was right all along…”

And when Dean tries to talk him down? He’s already too far gone, but he does reveal why it doesn’t work, why Dean is not able to talk him down, because:

“We were family once… if that means anything to you… please”

But it’s not enough, because he didn’t prove that Cas was family before, when Cas was Cas and Cas now believes that Dean is “just saying it because you’re afraid….”

Originally posted by babylaracroft

The fact that Dean did not support him and rejected him as family in 6x22 is what leads Cas to not be able to get past this now, to let go of the souls and what ultimately leads to his death.

Then we also have the reason WHY Bobby and Cas held back from giving Karen and Cas what they wanted for so long and it was for the same reason:

Bobby: 

Dean


Basically Bobby / Karen is a massive parallel for Dean / Cas. 

If one doesn’t see Bobby as a bitter borderline alcoholic who only finds solace in hunting and his found family of Sam and Dean as a continued parallel for Dean finding solace in hunting and his found family in season 7 and how Bobby only finds peace in the end once he lets go of revenge and his past and allows himself to focus on being happy in himself and move forwards then….

Burrito Blanket Batmom - Bruce Wayne/Batfamily x Reader

I kinda love the idea of a “burrito blanket” batmom haha, and since I thought the request from anonymous I received was quite similar, I mixed them up together. Hope you’ll like it, particularly you @dannysanime, as usual, feedbacks are very welcome :) : 

(My masterlist blog here : https://ella-ravenwood-archives.tumblr.com)

__________________________________________________

-Are you alright mother ?

It’s early in the morning when your youngest son finds you in the living room, wrapped in a blanket on the couch, eyes wide open and not really looking at anything in particular. You don’t even react as he approaches you. 

-Mother ? Hey ? Mom are you alright ? 

Finally, you turn your head to look at him, blanket all the way up to your chin and wrapped around your head (and all around your body really, your face the only thing peering out of this burrito you made of yourself), you say in a croaked voice : 

-No.

Damian is immediately worried. It isn’t often, if not never, that you complain. That you let things get you down. You’re the cheery one of the family. You and Dick often are the ones that see the positive things in everything, so, seeing you there, laying on the couch without even the TV on, and looking as if you were completely done with life…Well, it worries your kid. 

You realize that he’s concerned about your well being when he kneels in front of you, and put his palm on your forehead. Oh, sweet boy. If only everyone could see him as you saw him, if only he’d be as nice with everyone as he is with you…No one would ever call him “brat” anymore. 

-I’m not sick honey, I’m just…I’m just….erf…

-…You’re just “erf” ?

You shrug your shoulder. Or at least, Damian thinks you shrug your shoulder, he isn’t really sure, seeing as you’re wrapped tightly in that damn comforter. 

He’s not sure what’s wrong with you, but he still wants to help. 

-Hum…Is there anything I can do for you ? Do  you want coffee ? Something to eat ? Or do you want me to go put a movie on or something ? Anything, really ?

You smile weakly at him, and it makes him frown. Your smiles are never weak ! They’re always so bright, warm, beautiful ! They always make him feel better, not matter what. Awkwardly, he brushes a few fingers against your cheek, and your smile widens a  little. Here. Better. 

-You’re already doing a lot my boy. 

“My boy”. He loved when you called him that. It made him feel…It just made him feel loved. And like a part of the family. Your son. But of course he was your son, you never saw him in any other way, even at the difficult beginnings…

He kept on brushing your cheek lightly, putting some strand of hair out of your face. You managed to take an arm out of your blanket, and caressed his hair lovingly, he laid his head next to yours, kneeling on the floor in front of you, and you just shared a sweet mom/son moment…So much that you both fell into a deep and comfortable slumber. 

Keep reading

Voodoo Mama's Spellbook: Revenge Curse


*My spells are okay for any and everyone to use in their craft, not just those who practice Voodoo or Hoodoo*

Oh babies this sure is a NASTY spell. This is a revenge cross/curse. I originally got it years ago from a website and changed a lot of aspects of it. I cannot seem to find the original writer to give them the original credit but if you know please let me know. Again, I have changed a lot about the spell and have made it my own.

Ingredients:

  • Spiderwebs, from a very dark place in your home preferably 
  • Black Square of Fabric
  • Dead Insect 
  • Plants or herbs for your intent. I will be using Spanish Moss and the flowers from a Persian Silk Tree 
  • Personal Item of the Person 
  • Black Candle 
  • Oil to anoint the candle with proper intent (Optional, I will be using Black Arts Oil)
  • Small slip of paper
  • Pen (If you can write in bats blood ink that would work amazing too.)

Directions:

  1. Write what you want to happen to the person on the slip of paper. Do you want them to suffer? Lose their job? 
  2. Anoint the candle in your oil of choice and light it. Imagine everything that will happen with this curse. Really put your energy into it. If you are contacting any specific deity for this, now would be the time. If not, continue. 
  3. As the candle burns, place the cobwebs you obtained into the center of the square. This is to bind and hold. This will stick. 
  4. Take the dead insect and place it inside of the web. This insect represents your victim. They are now stuck in your web. Add the personal item at this point to bind it to them. Bonus points if it is their hair or nails as it will make the spell more likely to work and even stronger. 
  5. Sprinkle any herbs or plants that you gathered into the mixture, visualizing their intent. 
  6. Pour the candle wax into everything. Just onto all of the ingredients. You are sealing them in and there is no turning back at this point. 
  7. Tie everything together with the fabric. Thank your deity if you called them. Go somewhere dark and dank, using the candle as your only light. Like a corner of your basement, a crawlspace under your house, a hole in your closet wall, somewhere like that. Make sure it will get as little light as possible. Once you find a place, blow out the candle and let the smoke linger. Now you will leave it there for either 16 days or 16 weeks, which is 4 months. There is no in between. The number must be 16. So choose the smaller time or the longer time. Either way it will work but I would think of it like this: The longer it stays the more extreme the curse will be, as it builds up over time. Do not look at, touch, or mess with it until it has been either 16 days or 16 weeks. I would count it down to the minute just to be safe. The devil cannot even refuse you when you use the number 16. 
  8. As the time continues, you will notice things start to slowly happen to the person. Small inconveniences. This is when you know that the energy has found the person. It is watching them and waiting on your last command. 
  9. You are now to seal the deal. All of the built up energy in this charm is ready to be released. Take it and (quickly) go to a graveyard. Bury the charm under ground and as soon as it is completely covered, the energy will spark and sink into the ground. Pushed by the spirits, it will find the person you aimed it at and hit them like a ton of bricks.

Warnings: This is a very powerful spell. I would not recommend it if you just want to cause a little bad luck on someone. This is for serious revenge and someone who really deserves it. THIS CURSE CANNOT BE REVERSED. THE CURSE WILL CARRY ON UNTIL IT FEELS IT HAS DONE THE RIGHT AMOUNT OF REVENGE FOR YOU. The energy has to go somewhere and if you leave it alone for longer than 16 weeks the spell will hunt you down. If you throw it away it will hunt you down. You cannot back out after the wax is poured. If you choose to stop, before the wax is poured of course, simply take the bug out of the web and bury it and then dispose of the other items.

heello! i recently ordered from acorn press and still have a couple chillypig charms still in my possession so i thought it’d be a good opportunity to do a comparison/review! all the charms are 2″ clear acrylics

this’ll mostly be for people scoping out new companies, or for people who’re interested in making charms for the first time!

NOTE: in all the pictures, charms with a phone strap are chillypig and without are acorn press

i’ll be fairly nit-picky about everything and be as in depth as i can to provide max info, but please keep in mind this is all from personal experience! it’s not the end all be all

this is gonna get pretty long so under the cut we goo

Keep reading

Wonho Smile Appreciation

(credit goes to the people who own these gifs and pictures)

can we all just take a hot second to appreciate Wonho’s smile. okok.

it is literally my favourite thing about him

like, damn boiii you shine so damn bright

it’s quite spectacular, isn’t it?

just look at him. are you seeing this?!!?

i’m honestly suing because he should be illegal.

god, i feel blessed.

what did this cruel world do to deserve such a thing…

so cute but sexy at the same time T-T

alright i’m out. i’m done. i’m deceased.

i’m certain this boy enjoys watching us suffer so..

adios amigos.


if you have any requests for other appreciation posts or you have ideas for fanfics/smuts, then my requests are open <3

  • Me before encountering anti Kylo bs on my dash: Kylo Ren is a highly complex character and will most likely only grow in complexity as the trilogy goes on. We don't yet know much about his motivations for doing the terrible things he does, but the fact stands that he has gone too far down the dark path to come back without significant effort and suffering on his part. He can still find redemption, but it's extremely unlikely that he will have a traditionally happy ending the way many fans want him to. Even though he was manipulated by Snoke, many of his choices were still his own and the narrative as well as the audience will demand retribution for that.
  • Me after encountering anti Kylo bs on my dash: Wow I can't wait for the final shot of Episode IX to be Kylo Ren smiling as he's engulfed in a group hug from his polyamorous life partners Rey, Finn, and Poe, while the baby ewoks they've adopted dance around their feet and the two previous Trios all smile down on them from above
Chapter 537: A Beautiful Ending that Zeref Did Not Deserve

Alright so it is time for a very salty review from a very salty robot. 

So this chapter is very interesting…my feelings for this chapter are CONTRADICTING. 

Get it???

On its own, the scene between Zeref and Mavis was absolutely beautiful. The discussion between them about Contradiction and Love. Gorgeous scene, well executed. It would have been a perfect ending for them if…Zeref fucking deserved it. 

There is not a single reason for us to root for Zer/vis. Not a single reason. Zeref did nothing but screw Mavis over multiple times this arc – and done nothing to redeem himself. And the whole “I can’t watch her suffer” DOESN’T COUNT! It is unhealthy and even disgusting *cough* August *cough.* And let’s not forget how according to Mavis, Zeref longed for her since age 13. (unless it was a platonic THIS-PERSON-TREATED-ME-WELL-I-WANNA-BE-FRIENDS-FOREVER!) but the context suggests otherwise. 

The Zervis scenes in the beginning of Alvarez and the end were well done, however, Mashima’s own weakness in writing well constructed middle and built up completely decimates the ship. 

And don’t get me started on Makarov  – absolute bullshit right there…like the rest of this arc. 

The Sugar Daddies That Are Worth Keeping and Why.

Recently I have been SO stressed out because I almost have too many POT’s and SD’s that I know what to do with. I had to start making some cuts and weigh out the pros and cons. 

Be with an SD you’re EXCITED to see. 

That may seem impossible depending on the appearance of your SD but I’m kind of a shallow snob and only pick guys I’m decently attracted to. But Mr. Limelight (pictured above…OMG he’s stunning.) is someone that I get SO excited to see even though he is the CHEAPEST out of all of them. $200 per meet. You know why? Not only is he stunning, but he’s so much fun to be around, he compliments me so genuinely, thinks I’m the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen…. I feel wanted and secured by this man. (I wish i was 10 years older so he’d find me appropriate to date exclusively lol) 

Mr. Christian Loubitoun, who I haven’t made a post about yet, is a much older man who looks that way, texts me with the sweetest texts. He’ll send me pictures on his trips of things he bought, because he thought about me. We have wonderful, intellectual conversation and I know would never put me in danger. 

DON’T make yourself suffer to be with someone because of the money. 

I’ve been offered a shit ton of money, a place of my own (as long as he could stay when he visits) and so on. But I couldn’t stand him. I couldn’t stand his appearance, his overly sexual desire to just abuse me (theoretically)  because he had money. If I dreaded seeing him, why would I put myself to suffer more when spending an hour with him would make me want to throw up. There’s only so much bullshit Sugar Baby acting you can do before it shows on your face.  It’s not worth it, I promise. Remember, self worth doesn’t mean the money you obtain.

If he treats you like he’s paying you, leave. Don’t get disrespected. 

YOU are a beautiful woman. Regardless of our title as a sugar baby, I still expected to be treated like such. All my SD’s love me because I treat them like a vanilla boyfriend. We’re basically a paid girlfriend without the drama. But you’re not going to text me at 2am at night horny as hell expecting me to get you off. (only) For example, I had a SUPER hot ex baseball player over me but ALL HE WANTED TO DO WAS FUCK. He never took me out, he never texted me other than “I want you to come over.” NOPE. I don’t care how hot you are, I am not an escort or a call girl. (Although I love you ladies that are maybe I’ll hook you guys up hahaha)  There was a post, if I can find it I’ll link it but she talked about how her POT made her hold out her hand and dangle the money in front of her. Her response was priceless, she ultimately let this man that she had self respect and he was a dick. 

Just because he pays you, doesn’t mean he controls you. EVER. 

I let my POTs know and SD’s know my expectations. When I’m with you, we’re together. If not, baby, you go do your own thing. I’m not controlling (nor should ANY Sugar Baby be…post coming soon about that) and I expect him to be the same. It’s okay to tell him you’re independent but that doesn’t mean you’ll deprive him of all of his needs. 

Get an SD or POT who understands how this works. 

The GOOD Sugar daddies will compensate you for your time, even if it’s a first meet up. They understand how it works, they know getting intimate out in public, (unless you initiate it) is not okay. They know you have bills that need to be paid properly and respect you time and goals as long as it’s reciprocated. 


- I hope this helps. I love you all xoxoxo

 (sbmisstaylor) 

*deep sigh*

I don’t even know what to say. Here I am, listening to my touken song, my cup of coffee completely cold by my side because I couldn’t even finish drinking, I can’t even swallow my own saliva. I just can’t express into words what I’m feeling right now, apart from the love I have for this ship, for the way I said I would cry if they ever become canon (which is true, i’m tearing up right now..), apart from how happy I am that Kaneki was so straight forward and didn’t hold back… 

I am so happy for Kaneki in general. Touka too, but Kaneki the most. He has suffered so much, always searching for something he couldn’t find, always searching for love. We are forgetting that Kaneki’s deepest ambition was to find love, to be loved, something so simple as that, this is the meaning behind Tokyo Ghoul, that’s Kaneki’s journey… to find love, and he found it. He just did. It’s always been there, but he couldn’t see it. I know things won’t be easy from now on, but I’m so hopeful in terms of knowing that, maybe, now he knows he’s not alone. And you can see he wanted this too. She kissed him and he didn’t even try to stop her or dodge her… he just kissed her back and expressed his feelings with his body. Sometimes words are just words, and I think Kaneki’s feelings had to be exposed in this way. When he cried… I just lost it. I love Kaneki so much, he makes me scream and sometimes I hate him because he can be extremely stubborn but I love him, he’s such a good person, he always forgives the people that hurt him, he doesn’t really hold grudge against anyone, he’s so gentle and kind… he totally, TOTALLY deserves this moment with Touka. Touka, a girl who waited for him for YEARS, a girl who felt lonely most of her life and still never lost hope in him. 

I think both are so similar, and both are empty inside, and this moment they just shared feels like two pieces of a puzzle getting together. Kaneki’s emptiness & his need to feel loved is something Touka can relate too… everybody leaves her, but now they just found each other. This is not fanservice, this is a beautiful scene of two human beings (yes, human beings) finding comfort and learning to know each other a little bit better, two souls sharing the same emptiness that makes them whole when they are together. As Ishida say, they come as a set, this was meant to be, and I’m so, so, so, so, so happy today. I remember this post i made last year I think? saying how much i wanted a scene of Kaneki resting against Touka’s chest or whatever, feeling her hands caressing his body, feeling safe and away from his own demons knowing that there’s someone taking care of him, loving him, making him feel that he matters not for being the king or whatever the hell he is, but for being him, just him, Kaneki Ken. And it happened…

*cries*

oKAY NOW CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW KANEKI GRABBED HER BOOBS AND JUST WENT ON TOP OF HER LIKE A HUGE BEAST HE DIDN’T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT HE JUST WENT FOR IT

TONIGHT YOU ARE MY MONSTER

TONIGHT I BELONG TO YOU

cheers, Kaneki 🍻 you are a man now

btw, THE BABY IS COMING