i can stare at this for a long time

anonymous asked:

For some reason I can totally see Noah and RJ's first real meeting (like the first time they actually talking to each other) being Noah, Lucas, and Jordan out in the middle of the night looking for this monster they were chasing down and RJ being out cryptid hunting. They just run into each other at like two am and just stare at each other for a while like "well this was the exact opposite of what I was expecting to find" before having to explain what the fuck they're doing in the woods at 2 am

HAHA well thats not their first meeting but they do have an interaction in the future thats sort of like that!

i love this part enough that i wasn’t satisfied with the slow panning up of the ‘camera’ - i decided to copy and paste the images together to show the whole thing at once. thought i’d post it here in case others felt the same way (and also so i can find it again)

2

If you watch them for long enough, they end up catching eachother staring again

9

Hey, it’s me again, subverting your favorite tropes,

So we all know Yuuri Katsuki would be the kind of person who wouldn’t tell you he didn’t like mushrooms and would let you feed him mushrooms three meals a day rather than actually let the words “I don’t like mushrooms” emerge from his mouth

Because Anxiety™ am I right folks

But here we can flip this on its head.

Yuuri loves mushrooms.

Mushrooms are Yuuri’s favorite part of any given dish, which is why he separates them out from the rest usually and eats them last. That’s some excellent fungus right there.

Along comes Viktor Nikiforov, he of the lust-inspiring good looks and astoundingly poor social intuition. He watches the Love of His Life pick the mushrooms meticulously out of his dish and says, “Are you going to eat those?”

Yuuri Katsuki is still in a state of complete and utter stupor at this point, because within the last week two discrete–not discreet, mind you, which they are the opposite of–Russians have arrived uninvited to his fucking house, ingratiated themselves to his family an are currently dismantling the very threads of his existence. One of these Russians is his longtime crush (who is currently occupying most of his time lounging around in a provocative manner all but holding a sign over his crotch that reads Reserved seat for Yuuri Katsuki but Yuuri is a little bit feelings-blind so he’s reading it as Look how beautiful and untouchable I am! If you stare at me too long I will literally scar you like the sun and also I CAN HEAR EVERY THOUGHT ABOUT ME YOU’VE HAD SINCE AGE TWELVE! I’M DISGUSTED!) and the other is the actual inspiration for the My Chemical Romance song Teenagers.

So Yuuri can’t quite be blamed for saying no when Viktor Nikiforov asks him if he’s going to eat his favorite part of the dish.

“I’ll take them, then,” Viktor says, and picks them off his plate.

HOW ROMANTIC, Viktor’s brain screams.

Thus begins Yuuri’s mushroomless existence. Viktor loves Yuuri and wants him to Be Happy Always, and so makes a point to ensure that a mushroom never even so much as winks at his fiance ever again. He doesn’t put them in food and always ensures that, if he’s ordering something for Yuuri, it’s without mushrooms. When a dish shows up with mushrooms in it, Viktor deftly picks them out.

“Excuse me, my husband does not like mushrooms,” Viktor says so often that it could be his catchphrase, or perhaps a nickname. Viktor “My Husband Does Not Like Mushrooms” Nikiforov.

This continues until they return to Hasetsu for a visit and Yuuri’s entire family watches as Viktor picks every mushroom off Yuuri’s plate.

It’s a dish with a lot of mushrooms in it.

“You must really like mushrooms,” Mari says to Viktor.

“Oh, not particularly,” Viktor says, picking away. “But Yuuri hates them, so.”

“Oh no,” Yuuri whispers.

“Um,” says Mari.

“That’s funny!” says Hiroko, smiling and leaning her head on her hand. “Yuuri used to love mushrooms! He stole them while I was chopping them.”

“Wow that’s weird,” Viktor says.

“Yeah,” Yuuri mumbles. “Haha, weird. Yeah, weird.”

Viktor slowly turns his head. His plate is now Mount Mushroom. “Kitten,” he says slowly.

“Ahhhh,” Yuuri whimpers.

“Do we need to have that conversation about communication again?” Viktor asks.

“AHHHHH.” Yuuri attempts to crawl under the table.

The answer, for the record, is yes. They’ve had this conversation fourteen times since Barcelona.

“Why am I like this,” Yuuri whispers to himself later that night. Viktor kisses his shoulder and, when they get back to Russia, makes him a pot of Stroganoff that is roughly 89% mushrooms.

heatwave starter sentences

“I can’t bear this heat anymore.”
“I’m melting. I’m actually melting.”
“What? You said ‘get me something cold’. You never implied I couldn’t throw it over you.”
“Don’t be a pussy, it’s just a bit of warm weather.”
“We’re going to the beach. Now.”
“Yes, I’m naked and no I’m not ashamed.”
“Is it socially acceptable to go out in nothing but a wet towel?”
“Wow, you look even worse than I feel.”
“Just how many popsicles have you had already?”
*runs ice cube along the back of your neck*
*throws you into the pool, whether you want it or not*
“If you’re that hot, then why don’t you take something off?”
“No, no, no… not now. It’s way too warm for sex.”
“I’m sweating in places I didn’t even know existed.”
“I went out for ten minutes. Ten minutes! Look at me, I’m basically fried.”
“That looks like a nasty sunburn…”
“You’re not going out there before I’m lathered you in sun cream.”
“I can’t get up… Can you get up? I can’t… I can’t get up.”
“You’re such a stick in the mud! Everyone’s out enjoying the weather and you’re sitting inside complaining about it.”
“Another shower?”
“Please kill me now. This is unbearable.”
“Let’s break into that office block. I’m sure they have air conditioning.”
“I know! Let’s have a water balloon fight.”
*sprays you with a water pistol*
*blows cold air into your neck*
“I can think of some more things to do with ice cubes…”
“This is the perfect timing for an ice bucket challenge.”
“I can’t sleep in this heat.”
“I might as well sleep in the bathtub and it would be less wet.”
“I need refuge, my airco broke.”
“Your neighbours have a swimming pool, right? Let’s sneak in tonight.”
“I’m going to book a holiday to Alaska. Now.”
“I shouldn’t have stayed out so long… I think I have a heatstroke.”
“Is that a rain cloud? Is that a mother fucking rain cloud?!”
“Did you feel that? It was a breeze. We are blessed.”
“Even my cat wanted to take a shower.”
“Don’t smell me. There’s no deodorant that can mask this.”
*throws water balloon straight at your face*
“I take it back, summer is not my favourite season at all.”
“I made an ice water bath, specially for you.”
“If only it was always this nice and warm.”
“I feel lazy and it’s great.”
“Let’s go to the supermarket again and take a very long time staring at the frozen vegetables.”

Kitten’s Got His Tongue | M | 01

Yoongi & Jimin | BTS | 5.5k Words | 01. 02. 03. 04. 05. 06. 07.

Yoongi orders Jimin and you from a hybrid companion service, but when he receives the two of you, he has no idea what to actually do with you.

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School AU Prompts

- “ I accidentally grabbed your notebook and I found a crap ton of gay writings/doodles and they’re amazing. Wait, are those combinations of our names all over the pages?” AU

- “I have no one to sit with at lunch so I sat at your table and now your friends are not-so subtly kicking you under the table. Now they’re very loudly whispering that your crush has shown up and oh my god. I have never seen you this red by the way.” AU

- “I’m much taller than you but you have the locker above my mine. Now I have to awkwardly crouch underneath you twice a day and I almost headbutted you in the crotch, I’m sorry.” AU

- “It’s the middle of a class but I had to go to the bathroom and I can hear you scream singing Broadway musicals from one of the stalls.“ AU

- “It’s finals week and you forgot you had a math exam today. Now you’re screaming into into your hands while laying on the ground and I’m laughing hysterically while trying to read equations to you.” AU

- “There is a lockdown drill that’s lasting a really long time so we’re stuck in a dark room crammed under a desk together. Wanna talk about our feelings now?” AU

- “I forgot my gym shirt and no one is letting me borrow theirs so can I have yours, even though it’s several sizes too large? Thanks, but you can stop telling me I look really cute in your clothing because I can’t stop blushing.” AU

- “Our teacher is really boring so I zoned out while accidentally staring at you. Now, instead of being mad you’re just making weirder and weirder poses until I realize what’s happening.” AU

- “I didn’t know that this desk I sat down at was yours so instead of telling me to move you just sat on my lap and started taking notes. Also, I kinda don’t want you to move because you’re really cute.” AU

- “The substitute legit doesn’t care about this class so we’re doing increasingly worse and weirder things to see if he calls us out. And now you’re basically straddling me while a group of kids is singing happy birthday and honestly this is the most romantic thing to ever happen to me.” AU

- “We were forced to go outside due to a fire drill and I forgot my jacket, which sucks because it’s super cold. Thanks for lending me this jacket but you’re my crush and I almost screamed when you gave it to me. Just know, you’re never getting this back.” AU

Truth or Truth

Requested anonymously: A one shot where the reader has never been able to orgasm through masturbation. When Dean finds out, he offers to help.

Warning: smut, masturbation

Word Count: 2300

A/N: Hope you enjoy, anon! XOXO

“Truth or truth?” Dean asks, grinning a little sideways in that way that lets you know he’s just the right amount of drunk.

Truth or truth is the game you play when you’re both feeling a little wound up, needing to blow off some steam. You’re too old for stupid dares and too nervous for dares that might actually make you touch each other, so you settle for sticking to truths. It never amounts to anything, but you both enjoy the sexy words said in the dark as you lie together on one bed, a bottle being passed between you, like you have a life and a personality outside of monsters.

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Transference (M) – Chapter 06

cr. [X]

Summary: During a routine visit to the local bakery, you stumble upon an intriguing business card and figure, what the hell. The business arrangement becomes…mutually beneficial. Y’all know where this is going.

Pairing: Hoseok x Reader

Genre: Angst, Smut

Word Count: 13,167

Warning: Tantric!Hoseok, therapist/client relationship, sexual themes, BDSM, shibari, dom/sub roleplay, profanity.

A/N: This chapter is going to hurt.

Chapters: 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06

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Honestly actors need more appreciation. Sometimes they can make their characters so real it’s hard to imagine them as someone else. I have to remind myself that these people aren’t real, and their little quirks and movements aren’t their own.

Every time Dean and Castiel stared at each other for a little to long? Jensen and Misha.

Every time John Laurens looked at Hamilton with a bit to much affection? Anthony Ramos.

Every time the Doctor’s happy face slipped a little? Matt Smith, Chrisopher Eccleston, David Tennant, or Peter Capaldi.

Every time Sherlock seemed a little more human? Barginbin Cuddlesnot.

Every time Evan’s anxiety disorder became real to us? Ben Platt.

They’re so good at their job it’s amazing the thought that goes into their characters that might only show up for one episode.

“I kissed Nursey.”

Chowder’s eyes widen comically. He looks exactly as shocked about it as Dex still feels. “You– Oh my– What?!”

“I didn’t mean to.”

Chowder stops walking in the middle of the path. They’re going to be late to class, but Dex kinda figured that would be the case when he brought this up. “How do you kiss somebody without meaning to?”

“I was angry.”

“Okay?”

“And, so, you know how I’ve been going to counseling this year?” Chowder nods. Dex stuffs his hands into his pockets and shrugs. “Well, my counselor recommended that I try to find more constructive ways of channeling my anger whenever it comes up.”

“Ways like… kissing.”

“Honestly, C? It was that or punch him.”

“I’m not sure I understand how the only options were either punching him or kissing him.”

Dex shrugs again. And then breathes in deep as much crisp, autumn air as his lungs can take, bracing himself for his next admission. “Because those have kinda always been the only two options for me when it comes to Nursey.”

Chowder’s expression softens from shock to a quiet understanding. “Oh.”

Dex drops his head and stares down at his own shoes.

“So… did he kiss you back?”

A small smile tugs at one corner of Dex’s mouth, and for the first time in a very long while he doesn’t bother fighting it. “Yeah. Yeah, he did.”

“I miss the handprint,” Cas blurts out one night. Dean watches as his face falls, like he instantly regrets saying it. Those bright blue eyes dart around nervously, like he wishes he still had the power to poof out of the bunker and just disappear.

“What, the handprint you left on my arm?” Dean asks, confused.

Cas nods, looking once again like he’s going against his better judgment, and Dean’s breath catches in his throat. He clears it and tries not to let his reaction show.

“Why would you miss that?” Dean asks.

Dean knows why he misses it. He misses the comfort it used to give him, the solace of knowing that someone saved him, that there was someone who would always save him, even if it meant literally fighting his way through Hell. And as long as he never discusses it with Cas, he can even pretend that it was a sign that Cas truly cares, and not just because it was his assigned duty once upon a time.

But why would Cas miss it?

“I…” Cas pauses and tilts his head as he considers his words. “It used to make me feel connected to you. Like you were m-” He closes his mouth abruptly. “Never mind. It isn’t important.”

Dean swallows hard, and with a heart pounding so loudly in his ears he can barely hear his own voice, he answers. “Like I was what, Cas? Like I was yours?”

Cas stares with wide eyes as he nods.

Dean steps forward, hands shaking a little, until their noses are almost touching.
“I am, Cas. Handprint or not, I’ve been yours.”

Cas exhales then like he’s been holding it in for a long time, and lets his hand run up Dean’s arm as he leans in, not stopping until his fingers settle in the place they belong.

Rent-a-Boyfriend™

Words: 12k
Genre: Extreme fluff for all you bitter people out there (me being included)
Read the sequel drabble: here
Read more at Service Series 

Cr.

Are YOU lonely? Need someone to cuddle at night? Do you want love?

If you said ‘yes’ to any of the questions previously mentioned then we have a service for you!

Don’t be alone for this Valentine’s Day!

Come Rent a Boyfriend!™

(terms and conditions may apply. we are not responsible for any emotional or sentimental damages. please take caution with rent-a-boyfriend).

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Humans and aliens in relationships

In this world where humans are Space Orcs™, Capable of Anything, Afraid-of-Nothing…

Imagine the alien actually having a relationship with a human. First, their friends are so curious and awed and thinks their friend is brave for getting involved with a human.

Second, they are too, at first, until they realize humans are not one particular species that all do the same, but that the specific human they are building a relationship with is pretty cool. Their mind boggles when they realize this, as this would mean that no human can be the same, that they all have different upbringing, likes and dislikes, everything infinitely complex. They finally figure that they, while understanding all of humanity might be impossible, they at least can try understand the one in front of them.

“Hey, C’Lom” the human says as it snaps its fingers in front of their eye-stalks. “Are you still with me?”

“Yes,” they say, “apologies, I was, as you might call it, lost in thought.”

The human stretches its neck muscles to one side, keeping its weird, big eyes on them. It’s very observant, but in a concerned way, like it wants to find out what it can do to make things better.

“Penny for your thoughts?” It says, eating another fried something from the container in front of it.

C’Lom bows their head a bit. Humans and their weird expressions. They ponder a while on how to best use the English language to express such abstract things. The dark room around them is only lit by a few night lights, the mess hall silent for another half hour before everyone starts their shifts. C’Lom had just woken up early and found their crew mate, and learned that it couldn’t sleep. They had started talking in hushed voices and now it was almost morning. Not that the time mattered on a spaceship anyway.

“The vastness of you amazes me,” they finally settled on, watching the humans expression as it took another bite.

The human swallowed, nodding.

“Likewise,” it said, and smiled a smile that made the whole room seem brighter.

***

I also can’t help but imagine the sex. Like, the alien might not know that humans procreate in any special way because they have never heard of it. They don’t really know anything about different sexes either because not all aliens has those, or they might have moved past it so that it isn’t part of their culture anymore, or something. TLDR, sex isn’t a thing this alien knows about, and even less human sex.

And after a while they are in a relationship and they want to make their human feel good, for their birthday or something. So they ask another human, and this human, after the shock dies down, start asking what kind of relationship they are having. Are they just friends? Are they lovers? Do they meet other people or are they exclusive? Have they kissed? Are they going to have a family?

The alien is so confused and preoccupied they don’t get a present for the human at all, they just sits around and stares vacantly until the human flat out ask them what’s wrong. The alien tells it and the human is making a facial expression where it’s both concerned and amused at the same time.

“Yeah, Dana has very strict ideas on what a relationship should be like. I don’t think that such definitions are as important as long as we are happy together.”

“Do I make you happy?”

The human smiled and traced C’Loms face with its eyes.

“Yes, you make me very happy.”

Maybe their relationship turns physical after this conversation, and C’Lom learns that the Strong, Capable Human™ can turn into putty if you know where to touch them.

Aaand maybe the alien does have tentacles or something similar and maybe they aren’t compatible enough to make babies but they might not want that anyway, and maybe they can adopt?

Anyway, this were just some things on my mind ;)

BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY: A wlw version

Is this the real life?
Or are they baiting me?
Is this a new gay ship,
That I can see on my TV?

Already too late.
I’ve chosen the fate for me…..
I’m just a queer girl, spends to long on AO3

Although the stray bullets,
my OTPS,
Despite all of,
The history
I’m hooked on a ship that may not ever be… ever be…

Canon.
It seems to me.
That two women on the screen,
Can really only be seen as..
Gal pals. Why is this the case?
Why can’t they just go kiss each other’s faccceeee.

Shipping, ooohhhhhh
You see all it really takes,
Is a prolonged hug, stare or romantic gesture
For them to be, my OTP and all-time new obsession.

Althooooouuugh,
we should mention.
That we do actually have our share,
Of canon couples who now share some…
Screen time on our TVs,
But let’s be truuueee
The White Guy™ has more screen time than they ever dooooooo.

*cough* sanvers *cough*

Writers. Here’s a few tips,
If you wanna please the queers,
Here’s a list of things you really shouldn’t do……

(Gay Instrumental #1)

First here’s the thing all queer characters should be:
BULLETPROOF,
BULLETPROOF, (just take a look at jroth).
All stray bullets are a no,
For a gay girls way to go, see:
Hint hint Lexa. (Hint hint Lexa.)
Hint hint Lexa. (Hint hint Lexa.)
We won’t ever let that go….
Let that go-o-o-o-o.

It’s really tiring, seeing the same storyline.
Surely you should be trying, saving a queer from time to time.
At least until the end of the season three.

Lesbians, and bullets, aren’t one of the same.
NICOLE HAUGHT. Oh, can you see that on her chest. (Can you seeeee)
NICOLE HAUGHT. It’s a bulletproof vest. (How trippyyyyy)
NICOLE HAUGHT. A bulletproof vest. (I’m impressed)
A bulletproof vest (I’m impressed)
Oh yes, they are the best.
Stops every gay mess, oh

Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh

Oh, learn-from-Andras, learn-from-Andras, (she really likes the gays)
Or make the queer females all immortal like Delphine,
Delphine…

DELPHHHHIIIINNNNEEEEE.

(Gay instrumental #2)

Also remember that happy endings exisssttt.
And that queer couples can also live in blissss.
Root, Shaw; that wounds kinda still raw.
Arizona and Callie, Greys Anatomy what the hell?

So if you’re still struggling,
To write successfully,
Maybe you can just watch,
A show called Carmilla (season three).

Won’t ever let that go…..

CRYPTOCRACY MASTER POST

Cryptocracy is the best scifi action-comedy about gay space pirates battling both Earth Fascism and Space Fascism you’ll read all week!! You can trust me on that, I wrote the damn thing!!

Whether you’re reading for the first time or engaging in a long overdue reread, I decided it would be to everyone’s benefit to have a one-stop shop for all chapters of the book!! This is the entire book, and as always, it is provided for free at no cost to you!! Please read this book, and don’t forget to share this post with your friends!!

Prints

Summary: You and Sam leave your mark on the Impala.

Word Count: 2300

Warning: Smut, dom!Sam, dirty talk

A/N: Just something that happened. Enjoy! XOXO

“Is that a foot? Is there a footprint on the window?” Dean glares at the window through the rearview mirror, and you shift a little in the backseat to avoid his gaze.

It’s foggy and damp out, exactly the kind of weather that makes the windows fog up no matter what you do, and the three of you are piled in, ready for your next adventure.

Except there’s a footprint on Dean’s precious car.

And you know exactly where it came from.

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