- mbti is really cool! Go read a description, your friend says. you read a description. Ball. Sports. You must play sports. You are the ball.
- haha yes, I’m an ESTP, you repeat for the 8th time at a blank-faced infj in front of you. They say nothing. It’s been a week. The life drains from their eyes. You shuffle your feet. Bleakly you say, I really like Harry Potter….
- you read a book. The description says you haven’t. You forget what a book is. You decide to go watch sportsball. You are the ball.
- you take a corporate mbti test. ESTP. You won’t get the promotion. The entj who can’t tell a toaster strudel from a chicken nugget will. The ESTJ CEO dissolves into a desk and the entj sits down.
- you run. You try running. It hurts. You hate running. Why are you running. You can’t breathe. You trip on a flower and scream at the ground.
- your friends ask you, did you see that. No, you didn’t. But you’re a sensor! They exclaim. You see nothing. You see the heat on the asphalt and the boundaries of the buildings. You are the landscape and cannot see yourself.
- you plop down on the couch. You realize this is what you’ve always done. You’ve never tried to get comfortable. You become aware of how painfully contorted your body is. You always look so comfortable in your environment, your friends say. You’ve never known comfort. You are the environment. You look so cool, your friends say. You remain in place.
- hey, want to go do this? Your intuitive friend asks. You don’t want to. You never want to do anything, you just do. You know they need to get out of the house but you don’t have enough money. You want to lie around and draw. You open your mouth to say no but nothing comes out. Your friend tells you to be there at 5pm. You wither deeper into the landscape. You cannot stop doing and being.
- you try to discuss the future with an INFJ. Your ideas do not fit theirs. You begin to choke and your heart stops beating. You can’t breathe. You desperately want to tell them your plans in a way they’ll understand but the Ni bombards you and yours is but subconscious. You laugh and say, yeah, I really can’t figure out what to do in life. Maybe you can help me. You haven’t had a thought of your own since 1996. You are a landscape to be manipulated.
- WHY CANT I FIND COFFEE AT 3AM!! You scream. Your hands clench the steering wheel. Sweat beads on your brow. You haven’t eaten in two weeks. You must go, you must continue or you’ll miss something. You are in Arkansas. You are going faster and faster until you aren’t moving at all. You cease to exist. You have become a self driving car. A cop pulls you over and asks the car questions. He’s a Wyoming officer. How did you get here? You are everything and nothing, you realize. You were in Wyoming all along. You’ve always been here. The points leading cannot connect to this moment. He touches you, the car, and sucks you in.
Request: Ok,thank you! Can I have a Connor x Assassin!Reader where the reader it voluptuous? (I say Assassin!Reader because I’m actually very flexible and athletic for a big girl,and I can keep up) And maybe she gets bullied by Redcoats or something and Connor comes to save the day and maybe this is where he tells her how he feels about her? Thank you Wolfing! (native-snowflake)
A/N: You are so blessed if you are able to keep up on athletic gathering; whenever I run it looks like a headless chicken is running before it collapses on the ground… I really hope you enjoy this and I apologize for the ridiculously much time it took to be made!:(-Jinx
“Oh darling, come on,” she heard a male voice call behind her, but didn’t pay attention. She was hoping the three men behind her would just leave her alone; she didn’t want to hurt anyone that night. It was just her on the road, everyone else had disappeared at the red coats’ sight.
She walked a bit faster, knowing that it would make things worse. However, she couldn’t go against her instincts, the need to run away overwhelming her. Those filthy templars had been following her for twenty minutes, after she had rejected their ‘company’ at a bar. She was just out for a drink, what was their problem? She was not even wearing her assassins robe, she was smarter than that, so what was it that got their attention?
Those questions disappeared when one of them grabbed her shoulder, pinning her to the closest wall.
“My dear, you have such a nice body…” Uh, so that was what they were thinking. Of course. He buried his face in her hair, his breathe stinking alcohol. The whole thing made the girl shiver, but it was translated in the wrong way on his behalf.
“Playing hard to get… Wanted to seduce me, huh? Well, it worked.” His one hand cupped her cheek, the other trying to stroke her attractive curves, but failing miserably. He was lust-driven, and it was obvious. She remained wordless, her mind working fast. His grip on her body had loosened, and she could stab him with the hidden blade for sure.
When she was ready to do just that, one of the two other men gagged, an arrow in his throat, before he fell on the hard ground. The female assassin knew who it was, the strong male lurking in the shadows that is, and she gritted her teeth; she never asked for his help, her pride not allowing her such a thing.
The templar that was holding her turned to the other assassin’s direction, hissing when he saw his other companion’s eyes widen, just before a knife pierced his stomach. The girl took her chance and stabbed the templar that harassed her once, her hidden blade coming out of his chest coated in crimson blood. The man let out some groans, before his body stilled at the ground and got cold, his soul perhaps trying to find his comrades in the other world.
As she cleaned the blade from the red liquid, she prepared herself for Connor’s harsh scolding, months of staying away from any kind of mission and cold attitude, but what she could have never prepared herself for was him taking her in his arms, clearly begging for some physical contact, and hugging her so tightly it hurt.
“Please tell me that he didn’t touch you in the wrong way… Please tell me that he didn’t stain your honor…” He sounded so worried that it made her heart tighten in her chest.
“No…” She whispered, as he sighed in relief, his shoulders releasing a bit of the tension they previously held. He loosened his hold on her, but just enough to give her some more room to inhale.
“Y/N…” He breathed her name, and he reached easily her forehead. He placed his lips there, his hands resting on her cheeks gently, and she knew what he was going to say before the words left his lips.
“I believe I have found myself in a situation very odd, beyond my control. I have feelings for you, Y/N, romantic ones…” He moved away from her slowly, and she reacted immediately by letting out a fit of hushed giggles, something that made him frown.
“I have noticed…”
“Oh…” His cheeks were now on fire, and he avoided looking at her.
Her own were tainted pink, blood rushing there. But she didn’t care. She smiled up at him, and stood on her tip toes, thanking her height, placing a kiss on his cheek.
“I like you too, Connor. I just needed you to say it first!” She simpered, and he cracked a shy smile for her.
“Good. I mean, excellent,” he was already very awkward and nervous, and she just shook her head as she took his hand and advised him to move. The approaching footsteps were a threat to them, soldiers that were working in the dark to serve the light.
“I suggest we head back, some people are coming here!”
He could only nod, still flustered, but he didn’t miss the chance of intertwining their fingers, his own a bit bigger that hers.
His worry was turned into something that felt a lot like happiness.
11. what’s an inner joke you have with your friends? ~ “go shave a cactus”….which definitely makes no sense with no context hahaha. tbh i can’t think of anything else except for some really lame composer jokes me and my highschool orchestra friends always came up with lmao (unless you count stuff like you and me with seals and chicken wings OTL)
18. tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. ~ asfgjkl somehow completely snapping the neck of my school cello clean through one time. and also another time when a pen exploded in my mouth. i was honestly just a mess in high school lol
midterms can hit hard (i’m in the middle of it myself, in case you were wondering about the radio silence), and it can be easy to ignore other priorities while you throw yourself at your books. i realize that telling you not to ignore your nutrition is a fruitless endeavor, but i CAN tell you a couple easy ways to half-ass your ramen.
if you’re the type to eat instant ramen until the day midterms end, try adding chicken (you can get frozen already-cooked grilled chicken slices in supermarkets) and an egg for some easy protein, and maybe throw in some frozen mixed veggies if you’re feeling really crazy.
bonus tip! this is something i do for study sessions all the time. if you’re a caffeine fiend, try mixing your evil pot of vantablack coffee with some vanilla ice cream. it tastes like a treat and you still get your inadvisable amounts of caffeine. it’s not good or healthy but it helps your poor decisions go down. (it’s okay, i’m right there with you)
❛ HEY — uh, mikey … ? i was jus’ wonderin’ … ❜ casey begins, shuffling feet awkwardly, before he stands up, back as straight as he & his hunched posture can make it, a smile on his face. ❛ i know this might be stupid, ‘cause i know you & the guys … don’t really have much experience with this, but — i need your advice. ❜
brown eyes look towards the shorter, & he rubs the back of his neck sheepishly.
❛ i kinda … like someone … & i ain’t quite sure how t’ tell ‘em, y’know ? i know … laugh. the great, fantastic casey jones is too chicken to tell someone that he thinks they’re cute. i jus’ … i’m worried i’d ruin the friendship we have … ❜
my dads calling me so i can look at pictures of myself from two years ago and is telling me “look how skinny you were. Looks like you ate a cow, chicken, and pig now lol”
and honestly i try not to let my parents or my weight bother me but that really really fucking hurts
This is a video I found on Youtube of a wild blue tegu (you can tell by the “burned” nose!) in Uruguay wandering around in what appears to be a rural yard. At one point, the tegu has a chicken egg, which is presumably what it was coming into the yard to look for. I’m sharing it because this is a really good example of defensive behaviors and stress behaviors in tegus! You can see how a stressed tegu reacts to other animals- notice that it doesn’t really try to bite- a tegu’s main defense is to lash out with the tail and put on a threat display. I also like this video as an example of something you’ll see in captive tegus that can be a little off-putting, and that’s a tail that sheds at a differential rate than the rest of the body. Very often a tegu will shed the body and have what appears to be stuck shed on the tail- but tegus don’t shed all in one go, and even in their wild conditions you’ll often see them with an unshed tail!
When they got back to Number Twelve, Ron headed for the kitchen first. If they were going to be locking themselves in his bedroom with this bag of excellent that they’d just purchased, then they were probably going to need a decent amount of food first.
He opened the fridge and got out a bunch of Sunday dinner leftovers that he’d brought back from his mum’s house that week. “Tell me what you’d like and I’ll heat it up for you,” he shrugged, getting plates out of the cupboard. “The warming charm only takes a few minutes, so we can just do all of it, if you’d like.”
The containers were full of roast chicken, mashed potatoes, roasted potatoes, sweet corn, and peas. Plus, he had grabbed a loaf of bread from the counter on his way by. His mother really did make the best bread.
meat eaters complain a lot about how veggie burgers don’t taste like real meat and tbh, as a longtime vegetarian, i’m glad they don’t because anytime they taste even vaguely like meat (especially when someone else has served it to me, like at a restaurant), i get really grossed out and scared i’m eating an animal. like, it’s ok when i buy vegan chicken from the freezer because i know it’s not real. this post has no pount except to say i hate that feeling when you’re not sure if something’s real meat or not, and as someone who hasn’t eaten animals in 8 years, i literally can’t tell the difference most of the time.
Kennedy and Ginger piss me off so much >_< every episode I hate them more and more. Like Kennedy sits there and critiques Pearls look, at least you can tell how pearl died when you look at her. And she just fucking wore a chickens costume and made up some story. And ginger says that max looks the same every week??? Really bitch? She has been wearing completely different looks on every runway. And yes she does wear grey wig every week, but at least she doesn’t always wear it in the same hairstyle!!!