i can picture my life there

I can’t find anything funny to say about this error.

I’ve stared at it for 5 minutes straight, trying to think of something clever, but to no avai–

*stops writing*

*realizes he just spent 5 solid minutes of his life evaluating a bouncing headless specter and its fireplace-phasing hands, frantically thinking of bad puns*

*realizes what he does every day for this blog is more than enough of a punchline*

my life is a joke, literally

I’ve had the BEST day! I spent it with the oh so chic @mrsemilynorris and wanted to properly #InstaIntro her to you. This is because 1. I freakin’ love discovering good new accounts to follow and 2. I love this community/industry/mad online world and think we should share the love ❤️. So, Emily is a mum of 3 handsome boys and she has a YT channel sharing seriously good life hacks, cleaning tips (I hate cleaning but get so addicted to these videos that I actually now joke with friends that I need to ‘get my Norris on’ when I tidy up!), daily routines and vlogs. Go over to her insta, show her some love and leave a ✨on her latest picture so I can show some of you some love back! #MumVloggers #ShareTheLove http://ift.tt/2B2jhZt

Not exactly cryptids, but I figured I’d share some fun Halloween props I made this year.

With scarecrows on my mind a lot lately, I knew I just had to build some real-life ones for Halloween this year. My son enthusiastically seconded the idea and made sure I followed through by reminding me pretty much every day.

Our first scarecrow, Bauer, was made out of old clothes from the Good Will store fitted over a wooden cross-frame, which you can partially see behind his legs. The arms are dead spruce branches from my backyard and the skull is a plastic prop tied on with rough hemp rope.

In this second picture you can see the base I used to keep Bauer from falling over. Initially, I tried to simply drive the bottom of the cross-frame into the ground, but the soil is all hard-packed clay. So I had to stand him up with a wooden base instead. Decorative mummified cat for scale.

Dogs For Dan and Phil!

What’s going on? What is Dogs for Dan and Phil?

It’s a blog dedicated to all the good boys and girls of the phandom! All you have to do is submit (or tag) a picture of your pup + any info you want to share about them, and they’ll go into my (hopefully) large gallery of Good Pups!

What is the goal of this blog?
To make you smile! My goal is to create a happy, positive safe place where everyone in the phandom (or even dnp themselves!) can come whenever they feel sad, frustrated, or just want a little extra happiness in their life.

Cool! How Do I Help?

1.Submit/tag pictures of your dog!
That’s what this blog is about, after all. And without those pictures this blog will flop!

2. Reblog this! Tweet it! Instagram it! I don’t care! Just let people know this is a thing that exists.

(Not crucial, but I have zero editing skills, so if anyone would like to help with icons/headers in the future, that would be great too!)

Appreciation post for Admin Alex:

-absolutely gorgeous!!! I thought I was gonna have a heart attack earlier when she snapchatted me a selfie???

-she also speaks multiple languages!!! English isn’t her first language but her English is so good!!!!

-has a Mystic Messenger picture in her room but because she doesn’t like 707, she taped another Jumin over him and if that’s not a mood idk what is

-has the cutest cats I stg

-her hair??? is so cool??? and so are her nails??? BLESS

-also she loves BTS more than anyone probably, she puts more effort and time into the band than I do in my entire life

-always so nice, you can’t be sad while talking to her you just can’t it’s impossible. Disproving that right now. My crops are flourishing, my acne is cleared

-an amazing writer!!! I’m so lucky she’s on this blog and we’re so lucky we get to read her awesome writing!!!

-also from what I’ve seen her room looks so cool (hell ye I saw that hamilton and tøp)

-she’s a huge Jumin Han lover and her angst makes me wanna die but in a good and chill way

-literally bought a plant and named it Jihyun

-made herself a cave to watch TV in earlier and it looked hella comfy

-just amazing in general wow we don’t deserve her

A fire broke out at Nina and Bella’s house and since the only phone was in the same room as the fire, getting one of them to call 911 was not easy….

So I just sent them up to the hottub until the fire burned everything down lol

Nina: Can’t fire burn through walls though? Isn’t it going to decimate our whole house?

Bella: This is the sims, yo. Chill out. If we wait all night it will stop.

Bella: Whelp. Looks like we’re never cooking again, cause I ain’t gonna clean this shit up. Maybe if I yell at Nina enough she will do it.

Bella: I used to live in a mansion, with a very rich man. Now I’m eating chinese food outside a shitty condo in my underwear.

Nina: Hey, this isn’t how I pictured my life going either, ok?

Bella: You’re just some rando with a big forehead. I was actually destined for things. I’m….Bella Goth………..dammit

anonymous asked:

How did you start drawing? I such at art and I see your prices of work and think how can someone make such great art!!!! What is your advice to people who suck at drawing or just a picture in general...

I remember drawing on the walls at age 2, and I never stopped. It’s a passion that I had all my life and will still continue to be my passion! Thanks to the support of my family! ❤ Don’t look down at yourself like that, you can do it! The secret of being a good artist putting that time and dedication at every piece you do. Always keep practicing and looking at other artists art as reference and to help build a foundation for your style! Use that inspiration to help you become great artist! That is my advice to you and those that have trouble with art! You can do it! ❤❤😊😊

Originally posted by justalittletumblweed

What The Hell

Can anyone tell me why someone thought it would be a good idea to submit a picture of their genitals to my blog? Like, my dude, I didn’t wanna see your junk, I’m a witchcraft & animal blog, not a porn blog. They also deactivated as soon as they sent it, fun times.

I saw on twitter a while back people were suggesting that if Keith and Shiro could co-pilot the Black Lion they should do it Simon and Nia style! And…I mean…Yes please vld/dw!!! 

Sorry I was thinking of drawing them in their black pld outfits but drawing Keith’s hair is the only joy in my life L OL Someday I hope I can draw them in their matching uniforms together~ <3

4

semptember 18, 2017 ≈ I have great news! In the pictures you can see a sneak peak of my new room because I finally moved to Milan! I am over the moon, it’s great to finally be independent and start a new chapter!

What’s more, university is starting tomorrow and I couldn’t be more excited. I wanna have a great time and I cannot wait to fill my time again, summer is always way too boring for me, makes me a bit melancholic you know… I hope your life is treating you all as nicely as mine!

brutally honest descriptions of the mbti types based off my experiences with them via a very sleep deprived infp

enfp:

-commitment issues? haha i’ve never heard of those :))))

-will literally punch a toddler in the throat if they say they support trump

-so i took the mbti test 7 times and i got infp twice and entp once?? i don’t really know, because i kind of fit into the infj sterotypes more, but if you really think about it i’m kind of an enfj? but i also really relate to isfps, but then again i think i’m too opinionated and logical to be a feeler, so entp isn’t out of the question, but i also feel like the entj cognitive functions really fit m

-genuinely love animals and it’s so pure

-hi sorry for not replying, i was in prison :3 also i moved to norway lol

-actually just the 2007 taco xd random aesthetic irl

-“i just came up with another book plot” texts approximately every 2.3 hours

isfp:

-hi i’m melissa i’m a 23 year old art school dropout and i abuse prescription pills but it’s okay because i have 200 followers on my grunge aesthetic instagram account. rent me an apartment?

-(talking about veganism to someone at a party) i just don’t understand how anyone could put all of that stuff in their body :/ *bends down to snort a line of cocaine*

-actually really artistically talented but much like the infp they refuse to give themselves any credit for it

-my dream man is someone who goes to coachella with me, helps me align my charkas, takes sad candid pictures of me, is willing to backpack around europe with me and my philosophy class during the summer,

-*googles* why do i share a type with literally every indie musician that has ever breathed lol

-probably fucked your girl in the back of a vape shop

infj:

-if you manage to find one never let them go they are some of the best people you’ll ever meet

-huge harry potter nerds

-can manage to get you to spill out your entire life story to them with a concerned glance

-please actually care for yourself for once and a while literally you do everything for everyone else just take some time for yourself god dammit you deserve it

-CATS™

-could be literally the most talented person in the world but would never come close to admitting it

-hi i’m actually just jesus christ irl! nice to meet you :-)

intj:

-they know everything

-like seriously everything it’s kind of scary like calm down karl

- allows themselves to recognize exactly one (1) human emotion per year

-can read for hours on end without getting bored and genuinely loves learning

-are generally dicks tbh especially to the people they love the most

-wikipedia articles™

-they actually aren’t actually the emotionless robots tumblr seems to display them as, they are actually extremely emotional in my experience and tend to get offended/upset easily and over small things

-sci-fi, cats, and machines > humans

-superiority complex™

-cute when they aren’t busy throwing tantrums/crushing the souls of their enemies

esfj:

-hi i’m martha, i’m 32 years young, i like long walks by the beach, yoga, and judging my neighbors for not mowing their lawn :-)  

-tend to be extra™ parents and their kids can either turn out complete emotional wreck assholes because they’ve never been disciplined or the happiest child you’ll ever meet, there is no in between

-they may be complete snakes and have never came up with an original idea in their entire life but boy can they make a killer chicken parmesan

-kind of comforting in a mother-like sense when they aren’t busy being judgmental dicks

-will clean your entire house for you on a whim

infp:

-wow i love being an infj :)) top 1% haha :))

-will literally develop a crush on someone because they say they know what tumblr is

-find purpose in writing/creating in general

-ending toxic relationships?? haha what’s that??? :))

-constantly switches between their “you can’t control me it isn’t a phase mom go away >:(( my chemical pilots at the disco saved me xd i will literally punch a baby fuck the system i’m 2cool4school” persona and their “i’m such a smol bean :3 save all the animals <333 i love pretty girls and dogs :))” persona

-“can i txt you back in like 15 mins i’m having an emotional breakdown lol”

-actually genuinely empathetic and creatively gifted but gives themself credit for none of it

-intelligent but fails classes because their teacher said something that went against their morals

-playing the victim? never heard of it! :))

-secretly just meme hoarders

-attention whores tbh i won’t even deny it

-o v e r d r a m a t i c

entp:

-hi it’s 6 fucking am and everyone just wants to go back to sleep or die or both but i’m gonna start an argument with the professor over the origin of tangerines for no apparent reason

-*googles* how to permanently get rid of my fe in 5 simple steps

-follow my meme page xd

-so what if i love my dog more than i do myself and my entire family?

-this conversation is boring me i’m gonna go chug a bottle of vodka and binge bill nye the science guy™ peace out

-have low self-esteems but compensate through obscure dark web conspiracy theories at 3 in the morning

-shirley i didn’t call you back because you’re a fake ass bitch not because i didn’t like your lasagna at the block party

estp:

-why do i keep physically abusing my crush lol

-and why do i keep yelling i can’t even stop at this point someone please send help

-they love food more than they do themselves

-fuckboys™

-hi welcome to my prank youtube channel :3

-the type of people to show up to school with 37 puppies and a knife

-i’m not gay but 20 bucks is 20 bucks

entj:

-sorry i didn’t show up to school because you’re fucking stupid

-awe infp is so cute <3 i’ll destroy them last

-*on the floor, drunk, talking to their dog* you’re the only motherfucker in this town who can handle me

-what do you mean other people’s opinions/beliefs besides my own are valid lol??

-lowkey have daddy kinks

-what do you mean it’s physically impossible for me to control every aspect of my life??

-i mean if you really think about it voldemort was the victim,

-the type of person who could tell their crush they like them without flinching. terrifying

istp:

-wears d.a.r.e shirts ironically

-1990’s grunge aesthetic

-would walk into a burning building for the meme

-playing the hero?? haha never heard of it :))

-ew what the fuck man get those feelings away from me lol

-fuck da police

-following the rules?? that seems excessive lmao no thanks

istj:

-i once had one (1) original idea back in the summer of ’67. it was terrifying. i’ll never do it again.

-your scary math teacher that wears black socks everyday expects friday. then they jazz it up a bit with stripes. will mark your grade up if you say you like the same sports team as they do.

-understanding concepts outside of your own experiences? lmao no thanks?

-will make quizlet sets organize your desk for you

-my dream in life is to narrate a crime documentary and complete my george washington memorabilia collection.

-remembers all of their colleagues birthdays. doesn’t say happy birthday.

enfj:

-fucking get over your ex already he wasn’t that attractive calm down allison

-*googles* why do i relate to regina george from mean girls so much?

-the type of person who tells your boyfriend you have a crush on him

-o v e r d r a m a t i c

-gets your shit together for you. judges you

intp:

-dead inside

-if you can manage to find one that actually tolerates you they are some of the most loyal and true people you’ll ever meet

-horrible social skills, compensates through meme hoarding

-sends you links to conspiracy theory videos when you’re sad

-extremely intelligent but they get lost in their own house

-whoops i just remember i haven’t showered in 3 weeks lol

-i would laugh at that joke but i’m 3 hours deep into an existential crisis and i’m 100% convinced you are actually a robot created by bill clinton so not today jeff

esfp:

-yes homo

-cries over cat videos in public

-facetimes you in a grasshopper fursuit at 3 in the morning

-probably an alcoholic

-has 87 different crushes at once

-you haven’t talked to them in 7 years but they’ll show up at your birthday party and give you dog

-also attention whores

-generally has the personality of someone who just did 10 lines of cocaine

isfj:

-one sec let me just gather up all of the fake empathy i can muster for this particular situation

-that one kid in class who always has perfect notes

-shudders at the thought of… a… creative… thought….

-falls in love with an estp approximately every 23 seconds

-hi i’m karen, i’m 34, i love my family, cupcake baking, helping people of course until it interferes with my own personal comfort haha, christmas decorations, room layouts,

-probably has a studyblr

estj:

-your angry boss

-probably cyberbullies children on the internet 

-has an emotional breakdown when they don’t win classroom jeopardy 

-*googles* who is bernie sanders and why do i want him dead

-organizes your shit for you, regrets it later

-dead inside

Happy Halloween everyone !!! ~(☆´∀`っ)っ

I really had fun drawing this piece especially the angel wings >///<  

DA / Twitter / Instagram / Pixiv / YouTube : ksmile1313

NO Reposting 

and if you want to support me creating more art like this, you can donate on my “ http://ko-fi.com/ksmile “ page ^^ I’d really appreciate it <3

This picture is dedicated to my uncle because when my wacom tablet died, he bought me a cintiq T T I love him and I will be my whole life gracious TT Cintiq is soooo awesome I recommend everyone getting it ! It’s really worth it <3 

Instagram Is A Tiny Speck In The Ginormous Oil Painting of Life

One topic I think about obsessively: Instagram. More specifically, the psychological effect it has on me.

A while ago I posted a tweet saying I felt conflicted about social media, and the responses I got were surprising. People said that Facebook gave them anxiety, only going on certain sites when their mood was stable, whilst others deleted and re-activated their accounts regularly.

Illustration by Ana Galvan

I’ve always had a love-hate relationship with these platforms but they have so many pros that it makes them hard to quit. They connect me to like-minded people, are informative, make me laugh and give me an instant connection to my fanbase. It’s amazing to feel a level of relation in real time. However, in the last year I’ve noticed that every time I go on Instagram I feel kind of flat + zapped afterwards, like somebody has literally sat on my brain for 5 minutes. It’s oddly deflating.

Social media apps are designed to make us addicted to them. Human behaviour is reward based and each time we get a “like” or a message, our brains release a hit of dopamine, which makes us feel rrrreeeeal good (until the dopamine level drops and we feel real bad). Instagram is basically digital meth. So, for the past year I’ve been deleting the app off my phone for large periods of time, then re-downloading it if I want to post something. Interestingly, the feeling I get upon returning is always the same: I’ve missed nothing!

I understand social media’s appeal most when in relation to constructing a fantasy world. I’ve used it as a creative tool on every album I’ve made. Tumblr was key to “Electra Heart” and Twitter was key to “FROOT”. But what at first seemed like an opportunity to communicate our thoughts in an uncensored way has become a vehicle for us to present ourselves in the way that we would like to be seen by others. And this is what makes me feel weird about posting sometimes. A review I read of the film ’Ingrid Goes West’ nailed this feeling: “We use these platforms to lie and intentionally curate our lives”. The curating part hits a chord with me. It makes me feel icky, because I’ve surely, if subconsciously, done this - the majority of us have if we’re using the platform. How do I get around that and use it in a healthier way? Do I just delete the whole thing or do I need to be aware of the reason I want to post something? i.e. Is it to share an image I love, or is to make people think of me in a certain way? The latter creeps me out. It scares me.

Illustration by Allegra Lockstadt

Recently, a friend said he had been going through a difficult period, so he hadn’t gone on Instagram for about a month. “Why would I? Everyone is having such a great time”. Ohhh, the digital illusion of happiness. OK, some people are genuinely having a great time, and they want to share that great time with you, but they’re not having a good time all the time. And that’s the key to remember when we’re embarking on a scrolling spree into the darkest depths of existential hell at 2am. Social media is a tiny speck in the ginormous oil painting of human life. We all have problems. We present the good parts of ourselves because it’s anathema to document the true nature of our lives, which inevitably consist of moments of disappointment, loneliness and embarrassment. None of these things look pretty or cool (no, not EVEN if you put the Mayfair filter on top of them), and I can totally see how it all started out innocently. We all love sharing special moments, but because these moments hold social currency online, we’re now doing only that. It’s easy to see how people can feel disappointed when their own lives don’t measure up in a similar way.

Illustration by Lan Truong

We’re still in the infancy of the internet, trying to navigate technology in a way that is beneficial to our lives, but I sense a shift towards a desire to portray our lives more realistically. I notice more people sharing an experience or story in the caption of a selfie/ photograph that provides more of a picture of their life than the actual photo ever could. But I still wonder how we can evolve online culture into a space that is less image-focused/ self-driven, because I worry about the psychological effects that an image-focused culture might have on a young person’s self-esteem. 20 years ago, posting a stream of pictures of only my face would have been considered borderline narcissistic, but now it’s normal. And I’m not judging this - I’m talking from the perspective of someone who has done this a’plenty and who has been a part of that culture, particularly at the height of an album campaign. Maybe all Instagram has done is magnify what seems to have always been true, that humans value beauty to excess.

Ok, I’ll end this post by saying this: If I never go on Instagram again, my life won’t lack anything because of it. Assuming I use it 20 minutes a day, I’ll get back 122 hours a year - for free! The reality is, I’ll probably continue to use it, but it’s important to me to see these platform for what they are, not what they appear to be. They’re addictive, comparative, take my time and give little back in return.

I’ll leave you with my fave comment which came from @FKASimon.

Quite, Simon, Quite.

Love, Marina

Ask a question or a share a thought here!

Dear Ellen DeGeneres,

Hi! My name is Shane Burcaw. I’m 25 years old, and I have a disease called spinal muscular atrophy that gives me the supermodel physique you see in my photo. You should see me in heels.

I’ve spent a good portion of my life correcting the misconceptions many people hold about living with a disability. As a kid, when my classmates were afraid to interact with me on the playground, I showed them that we could be the best of friends by running them over during flag football. As a teen, when I was convinced no girl could ever possibly like me, I went to homecoming with my friends and danced my heart out anyway. As a young adult, when years of being looked down upon because of my disability just became too much, I threw myself into a career of using humor to correct the damaging stigmas surrounding disability in our society.

It’s a big day for me, which is why I’m hoping you’ll read this. Today, my second book finally launched to the world after a year in the works! It’s a children’s picture book called “Not So Different,” and it answers many of the most common questions kids ask me about living with a disability in a light-hearted and entertaining way.

Last weekend, my girlfriend and I were out shopping, and a little boy stopped in his tracks when he saw me, pointed at me with wide eyes, and shouted, “Mommy, is that a baby?” His mother was mortified, but occurrences like this are all too common in my life. My goal is that my picture book will become a fun resource for parents and teachers to use with their kids, encouraging more children to grow up embracing diversity and difference!

In hopes of you seeing this, I’m asking my friends, family, and followers to share this post on a massive scale. If I can reach you by making this go viral, I would love nothing more than to send you a copy of my book. It’s the perfect length to read in a single toilet sitting.

With love,

Shane

anonymous asked:

Heyyyy welcome back to tumblr, can u write something about reddie? Literally anything, my days kinda sad

Aw no, I hope your day gets better! Here, have the most ridiculous idea I could think of:

  • So you know those lame Home Ec classes? Where you get a robot babydoll and you have to take care of it for a week to simulate parent hood?
  • Yeah
  • Eddie is absent that day they get the assignment, so guess who he gets stuck with, AKA the only kid in class who didn’t get a partner because everyone wants to actually PASS?
  • I’ll give you a hint
  • Richie kicks down Eddie’s front door, the baby’s head sticking out of his backpack
  • “HONEY I’M HOMO! Come meet your son!”
  • The baby is screaming
  • So is Eddie
  • Eddie snatches it from Richie, convinced that he’s going to be a single father for the next week
  • “What’s its name?”
  • “Eddie 2, because he has your eyes!”
  • “You’re a fucking moron.”
  • “EDWARD, please! Don’t use that kind of language around our son!!”
  • Eddie has an existential crisis in the middle of his kitchen because he’s holding a baby while the trashmouth is telling him not to swear
  • Trying to astral project himself back in time to punch Past Eddie in the face for missing class for a Doctor’s appointment 
  • But as it turns out, Richie is all in on this assignment
  • He macgyvers a way to turn his hoodie into a sling so he can do his homework without leaving the baby alone
  • They take turns with who gets the baby during the school day, and Richie thinks its the sweetest damn thing that Eddie keeps sending him texts asking how things are going
  • “Little E2 is great!”
  • “That’s not his name
  • It is his name, Richie already made a fake birth certificate and got a Doctor’s signature (Dr. B Hascom, MD) 
  • He gets extra credit for it too
  • They spend the weekend together, needing to write a paper about the assignment anyway
  • Richie accidentally falls asleep on the couch with the baby cradled to his chest, and Eddie just stares for a while before taking a picture so he can have the image forever
  • But then the baby starts crying, waking Richie up with a groan
  • “Eddie, I decided…I can’t handle being a teen dad. We should have used protection.”
  • Anddddd the soft moment is over just the like that
  • Eddie snatches away the baby from a smirking Richie, regretting every life choice all over again
  • He has the baby in one arm while he makes breakfast the next morning, and Richie teases him for talking to the baby like he’s real
  • “Let me bond with my son, Richie.”
  • Eddie and Richie fight over who has to get up in the middle of the night when the baby starts crying at 2 am, resulting in them both getting pillows to the face
  • “Ugh, et tu, E2? I can’t deal with TWO people trying to get my attention!”
  • “You’re a nerd Richie.”
  • They’re actually really sad when they have to give the baby back, and Richie makes a big show of pretending to cry
  • “They grow up so fast! Our little boy! Can you believe it Eds?”
  • Eddie rolls his eyes, but he can’t help but grin at seeing Richie act so responsible and soft for the last week
  • “No, I can’t believe it at all”


*feel free to add on!*

useful apps for a better life

made this to try out canva! all apps were downloaded from the canadian iphone app store 😊

life cycle: free on itunes | not available on google play

forest: $1.99 on itunes | free on google play

sleep cycle: free on itunes | free on google play

** I only use this to track my sleep, not to wake me up based on analytics

alarmy: free on itunes | free on google play

** I don’t actually use this as an alarm because when I tried to take a picture to turn the alarm off, it didn’t work – I just use the white noise (you can set how long the noise plays)

plant nanny: free on itunes | free on google play