i can not find the words to say how i feel

saintvire  asked:

Hi, I just wanted to say thank you for your artwork "Tangled Mind, Phantom Pains". Your caption hit home with me and then to see it in the art itself made me feel... comforted? I don't know how to say it. I love art and music for how it seems to express how you are feeling when you cannot find the words and your art has done that. I saw that blade in the chest and read your words and thought "yes! that is what it is like! someone knows!" Sorry if this is strange to share but thank you, really.

It’s not strange to share similar experiences with other people. It’s just nice to know that other people have felt it too. You feel less crazy that way. It’s not something that can be explained until you’ve experienced it first. But I don’t want people to dream about getting attacked nearly every week.

It’s a bizarre thing to feel something piercing through you and yet no pain is felt. Still hurts a lot, somehow.

Thanks for taking the time to share with me. I appreciate it :)

A friend once asked me how I manage to do my tasks so efficiently. I wrote a 500-word essay in 20 minutes. I finished my math homework and studied for a quiz in the half hour before morning assembly. I sleep at 9 pm on most nights. But how can I possibly achieve that?


I’ve seen people, even good students, check their phone every minute or two as they’re studying. I’ve seen students “study” for six hours straight, meaning taking down some notes then watching a YouTube video then reading their textbook then opening Instagram… you know what I mean.

My advice is to commit to whatever you’re doing. Not too long ago, another friend asked me, “Jo, do you ever get distracted at home?” to which I replied, “Distracted by what?” They told me about how they always have the urge to check their phones, talk to their friends, or get some food.  I can’t say I never get distracted, but it very rarely happens to me because I focus on what I’m doing–and only what I’m doing. Here’s how:

1. During the time I allocate for working, I turn my phone to airplane mode (with WiFi switched off, of course). No messages or notifications will distract me from what I’m currently doing. Recently, though, I’ve left my phone on in case there’s anything important. There might an RMUN photoshoot tomorrow, or a Physics quiz, or a music showcase. I know myself well enough to know that I have the discipline to do nothing more than glance at the notification. However, if this isn’t true for you, then I suggest you keep your phone on airplane mode.

2. When I allocate time for relaxing, that’s all I do. No homework. No textbooks. No opening emails as they come. Just me and a good book or Photoshop or the piano or something. That way, I can satiate my thirst to relax within the half hour or so and not crave more when I start working

As for music, it’s been proven that music makes you less productive when trying to recall and absorb information (studying, in other words). Music only makes you happier when you’re doing things but not more productive.


By this, I don’t only mean which ones are most urgent, but which ones you can’t accomplish anywhere other than at home. For example, let’s say you have these three tasks: a) research about structural unemployment; b) write a poem with the theme of death; c) answer some questions about quantum physics; d) do a problem set about implicit functions; and e) memorize a set of chemical reactions. This is how I would do them:

  • Write the poem on the way to school. Maybe this is just because I like poetry. And because I can’t write when other people are around. I’d probably get a first draft done by the time I get home.
  • Do the research about structural unemployment. My school’s WiFi is terrible.
  • Answer the quantum physics questions. The new information is still fresh in my brain and doing the homework will help me revise, easing the process of spaced repetition.
  • Memorize the chemical reactions before I go to bed. Studying before you sleep is supposed to improve your memory, and since my memory is terrible, that’s exactly what I’ll do.
  • Do the implicit functions problem set as soon as I get to school the next morning. Math is undoubtedly my best subject, and it’s very refreshing to do math at 6:45 AM in the morning.

If you saw the pattern, I assigned each task a time slot when I would be most productive. I also did them from easiest to most difficult to the easiest again. Because everyone works differently, I suggest you find out which types of tasks are the most difficult (memorizing, in my case) and which types of tasks require a certain environment (e.g. requiring WiFi for doing research).


I guess that’s pretty much self-explanatory. I like to nap right after I get home from school if I’m feeling especially tired. As for breaks, I prefer to take them between tasks instead of every 25 minutes because of my high study inertia.


  1. Commit to what you’re doing
  2. Delegate and prioritize
  3. Give yourself shorter deadlines
  4. Take breaks!

And that’s it! Hope this guide to efficiency was helpful in some way. I do believe that by following these four steps, you can accomplish all your tasks in a much shorter amount of time. If you have any further questions, please don’t hesitate to drop me an ask!

My Story

After I posted my letter about starting a new job at Dreamworks I got a lot of messages and emails from people asking if I could talk about my journey more in detail and how I got here despite going to school in Pittsburgh for psychology and almost giving up on animation halfway through college. I know that I would have appreciated reading something like this a year and a half ago so I thought I’d share my story in the hopes that it might be able to help someone who is struggling. Plus: a detailed explanation of how social media has done so much for me as an artist.

Buckle in guys. Lots of text under the cut! 

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The way I love you is easy. It isn’t the kind of wild, quick to light and quick to end passion they talk about in movies. There are no dragons to slay or wars to fight in our movie. It is comfort. It is understanding, it is softness of the very best kind. I love the way the river loves the ocean. It’s the kind of feel good movie that starts on a slightly sad note and ends on an inspiring one. Always finding a way to ebb and flow back to it. And the way the sun rises only after kissing the horizon. There is something so quiet and soft about it.


We never shout at each other. We never scream. There isn’t any hostility or anger or resentment. When we do speak, it is soft, the way a bird sings the morning awake. Or how you listen to the waves softly sweep to the land at night. There is a sensitivity there, a maturity beyond our years. An old sort of love, the kind of love that makes people envious when they hear of it’s serenity. I suppose explain to them that this is what happens when two old souls find each other is pointless. Why explain something that is too big to define and too beautiful to waste explaining away?


Instead, I will stay here with you. In this moments of quiet, in these moments where we do not ask questions, where we do not doubt our belonging, nor do we hurt in any way. Let us enjoy the spring we have created out of the winters we have faced in our lives. Let us take everything about ourselves and accept each other for who we are. And let us not cry and try to change each other. Instead, let us just grow together for as long as we can grow together. And kiss each other goodbye gently and remember each other well, if the time comes for us to part.

—  Nikita Gill, When Two Old Souls Love Each Other

Reylo End scene

The way he walks in looks so much like Vader tbh. They probably wanted to show a family resemblance. Notice his hand. How he stops them..

Finds the dice. I don’t know if Leia dropped it? Or she took it and gave it to Rey and she was holding it at the moment?

Notice the moment he feels her. The way he looks up with urgency.

Rey notices… And notice the way she takes a sharp intake of breath. She is startled or just surprised to see him. For a moment she looks kinda relieved.

The longing in his eyes… suddenly you can see the impassive expression changes to this softer and sadder one. There is a slight hurt and full of longing.

Her resolve falter for a second but Rey pulls herself together. She made up her mind. She is very disappointed and feels pity for him. She gave him a chance, she wanted him to come with her be with her. But his ambitions are more important to him. At least what it seems to her.

But she couldn’t have been more wrong. And this next expression says it all. There is a hint of regret in his quivering lips.

The angle from which we see his eyes: it’s absolutely gorgeous. As he looks down at the dice.

Dice disappears and he clenches his fist in his usual way. And you see Kylo again.

The fist represents his determination. His own resolve. But he is a broken man. And plagued by the memory and the dreams of the possibility if she stayed back.

The dice disappearing is very interesting. Did luke really brought the dice back? Or was it on falcon the whole time? I mean Luke wasn’t ever physically there. So, did he really give the dice to Leia or was it a force projection too?

And the fact that he gave her that with the word “no one’s ever really gone” which was clearly about Ben. And the fact that he could see this symbol of hope and light manifested in his hand might mean there is still hope for him.

The Last Jedi - Some Reassurances

My inbox is very busy right now, but I most wanted to address two questions on The Last Jedi people have concerning 1.) Poe and 2.) Kylo’s redemption. I cannot respond to any of these asks directly as they spoil elements from the film, so if you are interested in hearing my thoughts on these hot-button issues please delve beneath the cut.

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Jimin and Jungkook on their own and together and the 3As

This is continuation of my thoughts on this post (Part 2): https://denivned.tumblr.com/post/168151815086/about-ships-gcf-jungkook-and-jimin-and-ship

Disclaimer: These are my own thoughts. I am not attacking any ship in any way. So If you support another ship and happen to see this post please know that I respect everyone’s opinion and I would always fight for the right it to be voiced, even if I don’t share it. I simply want to talk about some things I have been contemplating (and hear different points of view on them as well). Feel free to ignore any part you don’t agree with and let’s be gentle and civil with each other!

About Jimin: one look at my blog and you would know he is my bias. He has been ever since I saw him in BS&T and he snatched me by the hair into his lane. Since then I’ve been a loyal stan (mostly, Disrespect-Kook almost wrecked me with his body rolls at Mic Drop Dance break MAMA2017). All the Bangtan boys are wonderful and deserve all the love in the world, but to me JM is just special. Maybe it’s his precious smile, his dual personality, his sweet and caring nature; maybe I connect with his journey of self-acceptance and love. I don’t fully know myself .

Anyhow, I know we all love the boys but it is important to remember that we don’t actually really fully know them! Something that should definitely be kept in mind when talking about things like sexuality and what not. Basically this is just a harmless analysis, no need to get too serious about it!

Now onto the analysis itself:

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BEST FICS OF 2017 picked by notchopsuey
manips | other recs | rec page

#1. Runaway Land. 103k.
Louis is sure he’s stumbled upon a secret, underground nightclub, though that is far from the truth. He’s also pretty sure he’s stumbled upon Apollo, which… isn’t very far from the truth, actually.
Modern Greek mythology AU.

#2. You Might Want to Marry My Husband. 24k.
When Harry’s husband dies, he asks one thing of him; to find love and happiness again without him. It’s a request that Harry is happy to disregard, until he meets the one person who is impossible to ignore.

#3. Love’s Truest Language. 48k.
The first part was meant as a joke. He didn’t really expect Harry to buy anything. It was just Louis’ way of softening the ‘get the fuck out’ blow.
“Where’s your order forms, then?”
“I don’t want your flowers.” Louis chided before directing all of his attention to the arrangement in front of him.
Harry laughed under his breath as he stood to his full height, “Who said anything about them being for you, love?”

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a ROUGH translation of Minsung’s IG post

To be honest, I believe Korea is not used to queer people yet. Due to this, the people with many identities under the title of queer often hide, or fight, or even just dont pay any attention/dont care. This kid of truth is not only “true” but also ironically there are people trying to erase the identities of queer people.

I find it so unfortunate that people have to seek the agreement of others when it is simply people loving other people, and also for reasons that we are different it makes us lower members of society. To be honest there is no reason for me to have to upload this officially but only now do i carefully voice my thoughts. Thinking on the confusing days, I wish that the word “queer” did not even exist in the world. I wondered, “how great would it be if the "rules” for loving and the world was so free that we would not even need the word “queer”.“ Because of my struggles, and the many people who where curious about my queer identity, and the people who hated me for being different from others, and the many people who asked me questions in order to help understand and find their own identities, I am uploading this in order to give strength and hope to others. Many say that there is no right answer in the world. Yes that is right. To be honest even I am in a position where I cannot fully provide the answer that I am asexual and a romantic. So I have made the decision to not be trapped in their opinions/views. That does not mean i am ignoring this important part of my identity. Since I have focused on loving myself and my sexuality, I found that the harsh words of others no longer affect me. Yes. I am not attracted to the opposite sex. As of now I am also not attracted to those of the same sex. I do not feel the need to date and I really really do not like sex. That is who I am now, and this truth is fun to me and I like it. You can do it, people like me are also living well and happily. Do not turn your ears to those words of others. You are most important and precious.


EDIT: I didn’t know he changed his name to Minsung, sorry about that!!

kurwanda  asked:

Sometimes I find it hard to describe the emotions, facial expressions and/or movements of the characters, Can I Please have some tips on that?

Hi, darling!  Thanks for sending us your question :)

First off, I apologize if I don’t hit your issue right on the nail.  This is a big question, after all, so I’ve put together a general sweep of the subject.  If this post doesn’t answer your question, you can hit us up again with more information on the specific problem you’re having.  The inbox should be open again soon <3


Conveying Emotion Through Body Language

Body language is a powerful tool in fiction – a means of communicating your characters’ emotions without having to come out and say it.  Physical description breaks up scenes that may otherwise be heavy on dialogue or plot, and it contributes to a fuller image of what’s happening in each scene.  But like any good thing, it can be misused or overused.  Below, I’ll outline some tips on what to describe about your characters’ body language, and when to use it.


What to Describe

Obviously, there’s no limit to what about your character you can describe – but deciding what details to use can be the difficult part!  There’s a book I definitely recommend for this, which goes through 75 different emotions and the body language that relates to them.  I’ll give you a few starting points here:

  • Head: tilting, bobbing, nodding, shaking, looking around, lowering, lifting.
  • Eyes: widening, narrowing, blinking, rolling, averting, tearing up, twitching, squeezing shut, lighting up, dilating.
  • Brow: furrowing, wrinkling, (eyebrows) raising, (eyebrows) lowering.
  • Nose: twitching, wrinkling, sniffing.
  • Mouth: smiling, frowning, smirking, pursing, opening, (jaw) dropping, (lips) pressing together; biting lip, gritting teeth, sticking tongue out, licking lips, pushing tongue into cheek.
  • Jaw: dropping, clenching, shifting, grinding, jutting out, trembling.
  • Shoulders: shrugging, hunching, slumping, tensing, relaxing.
  • Chest: expanding, deflating, broadening, tightening, heaving (avoid for female characters).
  • Arms: swinging, wrapped around (self), thrown out at sides, extended, behind back, stiff, bent, crossed, flexed.
  • Hands: curled into fists, clasped, wringing, sweating, scratching (self), rubbing neck/shoulders/head, waving, knocking, tapping, nails digging into palms; in hair, in pockets, on face, on hips, over eyes, over ears, over mouth.
  • Feet: tapping, kicking, turned in, rocking (on feet), skipping, walking, running, trudging, tiptoeing, hopping, dancing.

These are only the basics, of course!  There are many more simple and complex mannerisms you can employ to tell us how your character is feeling about their current situation, conversation, or company.  If you’re struggling to come up with your own ideas, people-watching or just paying attention to your own quirks throughout the day can give you tons of material.

Originally posted by yourreactiongifs


When to Describe

So when you know the basic emotion your character is feeling (happiness, sadness, anger, discomfort, attraction, etc.) and how you want to show it, the question is when to introduce this information.  Some writers make the mistake of including too much description, so that it interrupts the flow of the scene; while others struggle to include enough, so that their characters seem to be floating heads in the air – and every emotion must be communicated through dialogue.  It’s all about striking a balance between those extremes.

To work on this, try to think about the reason behind the information you’re giving.  Body language should be used to:

  • add to the image of the scene – in other words, to avoid Floating Head Syndrome.  Certain aspects of a scene will naturally come to your reader’s mind; they don’t need to be told that your characters are looking at each other during a conversation, or that they’re frowning while they’re crying, or that they’re smiling when they shout, “This is the best day ever!”  It’s the things that aren’t implied that you should share – like when your character flops onto the couch with a sigh; or when they stare down at their feet as they kick a rock along and pretend to pay attention to their friend; or when they do something or anything that lets on to how awkward or clumsy or gentle or quirky or anal-retentive they are.  Anything that helps the reader to imagine what’s happening, to see it in their heads, is a good thing.
  • to express emotions without dialogue – or often, in spite of it.  When your character isn’t talking, or when they’re lying, body language is your best means of expressing what they’re thinking, without that pesky internal dialogue.  When your character wishes their unrequited love a happy wedding, show us how their shoulders sink and how the corners of their mouth tremble with the effort it takes to keep smiling.  Let us feel the anger swelling behind your character’s stoic expression as they apologize to their boss, and how it melts into a burning face as they walk away.  Show us how your character shoves their elbow into the kitchen table and subtly scratches their nose with their middle finger because their bigoted great-grandmother is making Thanksgiving very uncomfortable for everyone.  Those are the big-ticket items.

As for timing, personally, I tend to space out this information every few paragraphs, especially in scenes with heavy dialogue.  It’s best not to give more than three different descriptors in a row (e.g. “He sighed, wringing his hands, foot tapping anxiously, shoulders hunched, skin clammy” and so forth) unless the situation really calls for it.  Body language should NOT be used to:

  • fill space on the page – This is distracting, time-consuming for the reader, and can ultimately serve as a crutch for you as a writer.
  • replace dialogue tags – Dialogue tags are not bad and shouldn’t be replaced entirely by character descriptors.  Yes, they are interchangeable with body language, but one isn’t better than the other.  No one wants line after line of:

“Words words words.”  Sally yawned.

“Words words?”  Rita stretched her legs.

“Words!”  Sally sat up straight and reached for her glass.

After a while, you’ll find a rhythm to how often you interject description – when you catch your readers up on what your character is doing and how they’re feeling.  Remember that if you’re having trouble coming up with descriptors in the moment, you can always add it in later.  No worries :)

Originally posted by canonspngifs


This is the most I can give you on the general topic of body language and emotions.  If any of our followers have additional advice, be sure to add it in the comments or reblogs :)  Thanks again, and happy writing!

– Mod Joanna ♥️


If you need advice on general writing or fanfiction, you should maybe ask us!

Sundays (Part 4)

Originally posted by thestylesgifs

Ok, guys- we’re getting close to the end. One part left! Tell me your predictions- I love to hear them. All the love. xx - L

Warnings: Smut

Word Count: 2,318

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in this together.

Originally posted by cxhragrove

(billy hargrove x reader)

summary: who knew that the king of the douches actually had a heart? and can actually comfort someone? it’s wild.

request: Hi there! I know you probably have a lot of requests rn but my hometown Ventura is on fire and I’m out of town for college and i’m freaking out, i just feel really small and afraid and kind of lonely without my family and friends. Do you think you could write a Billy fic where someone from his hometown who he went to school with has to come to Hawkins to live with family for a bit because there was a huge fire in their hometown and their home was taken? Something comforting and fluffy

word count: 2,726

a/n: hey remember that time that i said that i was going to bed and wouldn’t be posting til tomorrow ha guess who has no self control. IN OTHER NEWS anon, i really really really hope that this cheers you up and helps you out! i’m sending good vibes and praying for you, my friend. seriously, if you want to talk, do not hesitate to send me a message or a private ask. abuse tw.


It wasn’t that you and Billy weren’t friends, per say, but your mom had been best friends with his stepmom, and everyone who’d gone to your high school had known how that had gone over. So you were automatically on the side of the opposition, in his eyes. He wasn’t cruel, or anything like that. Just cold, mostly.

But then he moved away and you really didn’t think about him that much.

And then one thing lead to the next, and you were standing outside of the Hargrove’s house in some small town in Indiana. You tried your hardest not to read into it, but all the leaves had fallen off of the trees, leaving them looking brown and dead. There was a sharp chill in the air, one you weren’t used to. You tugged your thin jacket closer to your body as Max passed you and headed into the house.

You’d been there a week and you still felt like an outsider. There was an uncomfortable tension that swamped the house the second that Billy’s father arrived home. It’s not that anything specific happened, but there were looks and words spoken in harsh whispers and the way that Max would sometimes flinch whenever her stepfather raised his voice even a little.

You followed behind her, listening as Billy slammed his car door shut. Your heart gave a little ache as you stepped inside. You knew that your parents hadn’t meant for this to be a bad thing. Times were tough. Your family didn’t have a place to stay, and it was easier for your parents to send you away for a little while so they could get back onto their feet. It just so happened, though, that the nearest place with people who would take you in, was in Indiana.

“You gonna stand there all day, Y/N?” Billy’s gruff voice invaded your thoughts.

“What? Oh, sorry,” you said, scurrying towards the kitchen where Max’s mom could be heard. She was a nice enough woman, but she seemed a little fake, if you were being honest. You snagged an apple from the fruit bowl on the counter, watching idly as Max and her mom caught up with each other.

It wasn’t that you were jealous. You just missed your family and your friends and Hawkins was small enough that it was kind of hard to make new ones, especially when half of the school was terrified of you merely because you were living with the King of the Douches himself. It was kind of ridiculous, really. Billy Hargrove was a lot of things, but you really couldn’t find it in yourself to be afraid of him. You’d seen him when he was seven, and sobbed when he found out Santa wasn’t real.

So you went about your business, keeping your head down as you went to your classes and ate your lunch and kept quiet. When you’d get to the Hargroves after school, it was much of the same thing. Max was either in the room that the two of you shared, or off with her friends. Billy would be hanging around the living room watching TV or lifting, but the second his dad showed up, he disappeared into his room for the rest of the night. And the Hargrove parents really didn’t seem like the type to want to hang out and talk to you about your day.

You spent the rest of the night quiet, working on homework and staring at your plate during dinner. By the time the dishes and silverware were washed, Max had retreated to her bedroom to start on her homework. You lingered by the kitchen sink, adjusting the dish towel that was hanging off the rack when you heard it.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” The words were spat out, harsh and glaring in the otherwise quiet of the house.

“I don’t know what you mean.” There was a pause. “Sir.” You frowned, tilting your head in the direction of the hallway. You’d heard Billy sound like a lot of things, but never like that.

“It’s a school night, and you’ve got your keys in your hand, acting like you’re getting ready to go do who knows what. Unless you’ve got a damn good excuse, you’re going to your room and you’re going to learn some goddamn respect, do you understand me?” There was no response from Billy, but then you heard it.

A hard, resounding slap.

“Where the hell are you going?”

“Billy, you ready to head out?” The words left your mouth faster than you could really think about them. But your feet carried you towards the hallway, pausing once you reached Mr. Hargrove and Billy. The two of them stared at you, slackjawed, but you just plowed through, acting as though you hadn’t heard anything. “Seriously, thank you for taking me into town. You are a lifesaver.”

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yoongi scenario | stuck on you

Originally posted by acciosugas

While wrapping gifts you end up super gluing your hand to Yoongi’s… not completely on accident…

prompt: I can’t wrap Christmas presents to save my life, but you’re amazing at it. Please help me!

pairing: yoongi x reader

requested by anon | 3.2k words | fluff, neighbour au


Why is gift wrapping so difficult? Why is wrapping paper so flimsy? Why are gifts such irregular shapes? Why is sellotape so hard to cut? And why is the whole palaver such an embarrassment when you can’t do it properly, crossing the corridor to the apartment across from yours with shamed red cheeks, as you knock on the door and ask desperately, “Could you possibly help me? I might have tied my hands together with ribbon…”

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Stardust || JJK

Group: BTS
Member: Jeon Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Soulmate AU! Red string of fate au

Word count: 3.3 k

Synopsis: 

You didn’t believe in soulmates until you lay your eyes on Jeon Jeongguk, the younger brother of your best friend’s husband. That is when you see the red string which begins encircled around your pinky and ends in his.

A/N: This is my thank you for 2k+ followers. It is inspired by the Chinese folklore of red string of fate (read it, if you haven’t. Its cute). Lang Leav is also an inspiration behind this imagine (points to ‘soulmates’ and ‘stardust’). Enjoy reading!


“Why do I have to go?” you whine to your best friend So Rim who is trying to convince you to go to Seokjin’s celebratory party.  She gives you an incredulous look through the mirror before resuming running the make up brush in full circles on her cheeks to fill up any gaps left in her make up. You sigh and fall onto her bed head first, pulling the blue covers over your face.

“ You have to go because it will be a good opportunity for you to meet men, and maybe one of these men will be your soulmate” she doesn’t stop in her motions but keeps her eyes trained on your covered figure.

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A Secret Admirer | BTS Reaction

Anonymous: Bts reaction to you having a secret admirer? 

Summary: It seems you have a secret admirer. It first started off with a few flowers here and there. But as you’re sitting at home with your boyfriend, the doorbell rings. As you open it, there is a present with a note attached to it, someone expressing their admiration for you. You don’t hide it from your boyfriend though, there’s nothing to hide, you’re not doing anything wrong. But how will your boyfriend react?

Masterlist


Originally posted by aestheticvbts

Jin: You frowned as your cooking activity with Jin had been interrupted by the sound of the doorbell. Sighing you washed off your hands and headed out of the kitchen and towards the front door. As you opened it, you were greeted with…well, the fresh air of the outside. You looked around, cautious however, in case someone was to jump out and attack you - you never know. Your eyes fell to the ground at a brown, rectangular parcel. You picked it up, before shaking it. A number of things jiggled around inside, they all seemed solid however. Just as confused as you were when you opened the door, you walked inside and placed the parcel on the living room table “Who was it?” Jin asked, walking through the door that lead to the kitchen and the living room, wiping his hands with a dishcloth. You placed your hands on your hips and looked down at the mysterious parcel and shrugged

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Wanted (3)

Steve Harrington x Reader, Billy Hargrove x Reader

Summary: She just wants to be wanted. More specifically, she wants to be wanted by Steve… Until Billy Hargrove weasels his way into her heart.  

Warnings: angst, language, party violence, under age drinking, tommy’s a fucking dick, that’s it i think lol

Word Count: 2.2k+

PART 1 PART 2

Originally posted by dailystrangerthings

Max was late, again.

Billy was pissed. Not only was he pissed because Max was late getting to his car for the second day in a row, but his progress with Y/n has gone nowhere since then, either.

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***I can’t believe there are still 4(!) months left until the show and more importantly until Malec is back. Honestly, who tf thought that bringing the show back in April was a good idea? I just wanna talk. Especially when seeing all these spoilers and teasers. This is really not helping here!

At least we still have Malec fanfics left to keep us entertained. And with Christmas and the holidays right around the corner, there is time to get invested in some new and amazing fics, am I right? So snuggle yourself into a fluffy and warm blanket, drink some hot chocolate and tea and see these two idiots fall in love over and over and over again.

As always, I hope you’re gonna enjoy this fic rec. The 6th one already, can you believe? I am still so overwhelmed when looking at the notes from the last one. You guys are amazing! Thank you so so much. But now, have fun reading!***


BETWEEN THE LINES by @msalexiscriss  [ E | AU | 240k | complete ]

Special Agent Alec Lightwood’s been chasing the renowned thief and conman extraordinaire Magnus Bane for five years now. When a criminal from the past, Valentine Morgenstern, threatens their city and both their reputations, the duo will have to do the unimaginable and team up to restore the peace in the big old city. Between secrets, betrayals, heartbreaking truths, and sick games, Alec and Magnus will have to learn to play between the lines of good and evil in order to carry out their mission and make it out alive. Will they succeed?


DEEPER THAN THE TRUTH by @insiemes [ M | AU | 150k | complete ]

Alec Lightwood is a world-famous author, though the world knows him only under his pseud: Gideon Archer. Magnus Bane is a fashion designer who just happens to be a big fan of Gideon’s work.


THE WAY IT SHOULD BE by @m-aleciseverything [ T | AU | 53.6k | complete ]

Alec Lightwood had his life figured out: a job that he was passionate about, a beautiful boyfriend who loved him, and friends and family surrounding him.

Everything was perfect or should have been perfect, if it weren’t for the nagging feeling that something in his life was missing. And how was he supposed to go on with his life after he met Magnus Bane and suddenly that feeling was gone?


ADDICTED TO YOU by @imawriteriwrite [ E | AU | 78.7k | complete | Fuck Buddies AU #1 ]

Magnus Bane’s the head of his own company. Alec Lightwood is in his last year of law school. They’ve never met but have one thing in common: neither does relationships. Just one night stands. That is until they find themselves matched on a hookup app and suddenly one night is not enough.

Also known as the one where Magnus and Alec meet and think they can have no strings attached sex and not develop feelings.


STAY HERE FOREVER by @imawriteriwrite [ M | AU | 11.9k | complete | Fuck Buddies AU #2 ]

A year before, they didn’t even know each other. Then there was this hookup app, and months where they thought they could be “just fuck buddies”. Things went downhill. Things went uphill.

Now, it’s been months since Magnus Bane (head of Bane Co.) and Alec Lightwood (kind of officially a lawyer) finally figured their shit out and started a healthy relationship. Now it’s Valentine’s Day and their relationship is put in danger as they compete to out romance each other.


THE BRIGHTEST SHADE OF THE SUN by @theonetruenorth [ E | 3k | complete ]

Magnus leaned over him and brushed his lips down Alec’s spine, a feather-light caress that told Alec much more than words ever could. He breathed against the warm skin, pressing kisses over a couple chosen spots; a beauty mark, an old scar, the looping end of a black rune. Alec laughed when he hit a particularly ticklish spot over his ribs. Magnus ran his hand over the back of Alec’s thigh and hummed approvingly when Alec spread his legs a little more, exposing himself.


IT’S A YES FROM ME by @ketzwrites [ G | AU | 23.2k | complete ]

Reclusive singer Alec Lightwood has been taking some time away from the spotlight for a few years now. He has lost his inspiration, his reason to keep making music.

That is, until his manager, Luke Garroway, asks him to enter the panel of the ridiculous singing competition The Angel’s Voice. Alec only says yes because that means keeping an eye on Clary and Simon. He hates those fixed, degrading TV shows with a burning passion. Hopefully, Alec figures, he’ll get some inspiration back watching new comers try their luck on TV. Some of them are bound to be good.

It isn’t until Magnus Bane walks on stage, however, that Alec realizes just how right he is.


INVICTUS by @lecrit [ M | AU | 30.2k | complete ]

“You should get a tattoo.”

Alec firmly believed in coincidences, in the serendipity that could bring the hazards of life, but even he could admit that sometimes, things seemed to happen for a reason. He was too much of a pragmatic person to truly believe in fate and destiny.

So even when Jace blurted those words at him as he stumbled into his shop, they remained abstract concepts to him, no matter how it nudged at the back of his mind.


ROSES ARE RED, SO IS YOUR FACE by @madzieloss [ not rated | 5k | complete ]

Before Alec could even wonder what that meant, much less ask, Cat re-entered the room and Alec became overtly aware of how red he was as her eyes landed on his face.

And she cooed at him. If anything, he turned even redder. Was she really… cooing at him?

Cat laughed. “Well, I must say. I’ve been around for a while, and I’ve never seen a shadowhunter blush before. How adorable.”

(or, five times cat makes alec blush, and one time he gets her back)


CALL YOU HOME by Airuna [ T | AU | 62.2k | complete ]

Alec Lightwood was pretty content with his life, he had a successful job leading a law firm with one of his best friends, a great relationship with his siblings and a perfectly acceptable apartment. He really wasn’t looking for anything more but when he finds a little girl waiting all alone in a coffee shop his life will change irremediably and maybe that’s not such a bad thing after all.

Or,

The one in which Alec makes up with his mother, gets a boyfriend and adopts a little girl. Just not necessarily in that order.


ONLY FOREVER by @magnusragnor [ G | AU | 4.7k | complete ]

a love story told through texts, e-mails, and love letters.


LIONHEART by bumblebeesknees [ E | 8.4k | complete ]

Magnus’ bed hasn’t felt like his own without Alec in it. His body hasn’t felt the same without Alec’s warmth pressed up against it. From the second Alec takes his hand, Magnus doesn’t waste any time fixing either of those things. [Coda to 2x20]


THE OPTIMIST IN ME by nygmasneck [ G | 1.4k | complete ]

Days off are rare for them, and Alec intends to make this one last a lifetime.


HOME IS WHEREVER I’M WITH YOU by @softbimagnus [ G | 954 | complete ]

Magnus dropped his hands to Alec’s chest in a gesture so familiar it made Alec ache with how much he’d missed this.

“Ready to go home?”

Alec blinked in surprise.

Home.

Alec wasn’t sure he’d ever get to think of the loft as home again, not since the last time he rolled out of Magnus’ bed before the situation with the soul sword came to light.


BLUE CIRCLE by Hobbit69 [ E | AU | 35.9k | complete | Blue Steel Series #8 ]

When Sophia calls Magnus in a panic, telling him that someone has murdered her best friend, Magnus does the only thing he can, he sends Alec. Alec discovers during the course of the investigation, that there is more going on with teenagers than he thought. During the investigation, Alec and Jace find that there is a circle of teenagers who, in order to join the group, have to prove their loyalty by rape and murder. Who better to practice on than the girls in their social group?


BLUE CLAN by Hobbit69 [ E | AU | 3.3k | complete | Blue Steel Series #9 ]

After adopting Madzie, Detective Alexander Lightwood-Bane and his husband, Magnus, decide to go on vacation to help them bond with their new daughter.


A LIFE GIVEN WILLINGLY by @one100suns [ E | AU | 112.1k | complete ]

There isn’t much Alec Lightwood wouldn’t do for his family. But perhaps he should have said no just this once. Now he’s being targeted by one Sebastian Verlac and forced to seek help from an unlikely source.

Or in which Magnus is a gangster and Alec is in way over his head.


YOUR FULL ATTENTION by @ladymatt [ M | 1.8k | complete ]

Waking up in the arms of his boyfriend, Magnus Bane, was always something to savour for Alec Lightwood…..when he had the time. Unfortunately for them both, on this occasion a Clave meeting prevented a proper ‘Good Morning!’ With an appointment arranged for the 'Head’ of the Institute to shake hands with The High Warlock Of Brooklyn later that day, he should have known Magnus would still make him pay for choosing the Clave over his cock!


IN ANOTHER LIFE by @klynnwordsadhoc [ T | AU | 3.4k | complete | It Started With A Wedding #1 ]

Alec is an ex-Marine Captain, recently returned from overseas to take over his parent’s company, struggling to adjust to life as a civilian once more. Magnus is a fashion designer who has many better things he could do with his weekend. They both attend the same wedding, and they’re both very pleased about it later.


ODD HOURS by @klynnwordsadhoc [ E | AU | 3.9k | complete | It Started With A Wedding #2 ]

Magnus sighs, “Drill sergeant,” he complains.
Alec laughs. “That’s Army. It’s drill instructor in the Marines and I never was one.”
“You should have been.”

Magnus has a late night at work and Alec worries.


GOOD OUR WHOLE LIVES by @beatperfume [ E | AU | 34.8k | complete ]

They say that prostitution is the world’s oldest profession, and it’s just as true for the Downworld as the mundane one.

But this is the first time Magnus has ever heard of a nephilim hustling his crowd.


THE WAY I FEEL FOR YOU by @theonetruenorth [ E | 7.3k | complete ]

The drawer was filled with sex toys.

Neatly laid out on a cushy bed of silk lining the drawer. There were a lot of them. Alec immediately felt a little lost as he surveyed the variety of colors and shapes and sizes. There were some that were anatomically-correct but some toys looked weird as heck, and Alec really wasn’t sure how one could use them. There were small ones and big ones and holy shit, how did you even fit some of them into your body?!

A pair of arms wrapped around his middle from behind, startling him so much he actually yelped and flailed a little, luckily managing to avoid hitting Magnus in the face with his elbow.

“See anything you like?”


YOUR WORD IS BUTTHEAD by @lecrit [ G | AU | 3.4k | complete ]

Alec’s kid has a bad tendency of being overly competitive. Which is fine, really, because the apple never falls far from the tree, and Alec is definitely to blame for that.

Or the one where Alec’s and Magnus’ sons compete against each other in a spelling bee contest and they’re both overly competitive about who is the best.


MAKE A WISH, ALEXANDER by @dont-stop-believin-in-klaine [ M | 1.1k | complete ]

One does not simply not celebrate their birthday while they’re dating Magnus Bane, the High Warlock of Brooklyn himself. That just won’t do.


MORNING’S COME, YOU WATCH THE RED SUNRISE by @lightwoodlesbians [ G | AU | 6k | complete | Malec Single Parents AU’s #2 ]

or the 'your house is being renovated so you’re staying at mine and we aren’t even dating but every time you get up to the baby crying and sigh, 'i’ll go’, i feel like we might as well be married’ au


BUT SOME OF US ARE LOOKING AT THE STARS by @lecrit [ G | AU | 4.3k | complete ]

There aren’t many things that Alec loves as much as he loves the stars.
Most nights, he just likes to sit on his balcony and watch the eerie darkness drape over the sky and the silver glow of the moon, surrounded by the stars shaping constellations he knows by heart.

This is a special night for him and his son. The only night in the year Alec lets Max stay up after midnight, so they can watch Perseids meteor shower together on the rooftop of their building.

Alec doesn’t expect to find out they weren’t the only ones to get the idea.


THE RIGHT PRICE by Marie_Tomas [ T | AU | 7k | complete ]

Magnus Bane has worked as a lawyer for several years, taking his job very seriously. The Lightwoods have always been one of his major professional rivals in the city, but this hasn’t stopped Magnus from falling in lust, and a little in love, with one particular member of the Lightwood family, Alec Lightwood.

When shy, nervous Alec asks Magnus for his help with representing one of the Lightwoods’ clients, Magnus makes a joking, flirty comment about what he would expect from Alec in return for a victory in the courtroom. A major misunderstanding happens as a result.


BUCKLE UP by @ketzwrites [ E | AU | 14.8k | complete ]

Alec has been Magnus Bane’s private driver for three years now. They have the perfect relationship; good-hearted, mutually supportive of each other, and frankly amicable. Maybe too amicable, in fact, considering they have been sleeping together for the better part of those three years.

However, when Alec receives a surprise offer for another job, that perfect relationship crumbles. It turns out that, without the anchors of a professional bond between them, Alec and Magnus are left to face something they had refused to think of before: their feelings.


SOME KIND OF WONDERFUL by @magnusragnor [ T | AU | 13.8k | complete ]

“I’m a grown ass man who never learned to swim. I’d laugh at myself if it wasn’t so embarrassing,” Alec replied, shrugging.

“You’re a grown ass man who never learned to swim and has sucked up his pride to try and do something about it. That’s admirable, nothing to be laughed at,” Magnus retorted, finally meeting Alec’s eyes and smiling warmly. “Shall we?” he asked, jerking his head towards the pool.

(aka Magnus is a lifeguard at a local pool and Alec doesn’t know how to swim)


WHAT’S IT GONNA BE? by @lemonoclefox [ M | AU | 49.3k | complete | What’s It Gonna Be Series #1 ]

Fairchild’s bakery is a second home to not just Magnus, but also to most of his found-family. As a pastry chef, he works long hours and takes great pride in his craft – so much so that he has little time or attention for much else. Least of all romance. After plenty of experience with heartbreak and disappointment, he has come to expect the worst from anything in that department, and the arrival of the wealthy Lightwoods in the neighborhood isn’t about to change that. Especially not when their eldest son might just be the most insufferable prick Magnus has ever met, no matter what anyone else has to say about the guy.


UP IN THE SKY by @ketzwrites [ T | AU | 23.8k | complete ]

When General Imogen of the Shadowhunter Forces is found dead, the country of Alicante is shocked. As he campaigns to come back to the office, Former President Valentine Morgenstern points out the Seelies as responsible for her assassination, calling for a war in response.

Senator Magnus Bane knows war means death to the hundreds of Downworlders who live in the country. He needs to stop Valentine from winning the election, by any means necessary.

However, the Downworlders votes won’t be enough. Magnus needs the Nephilim to vote for him as well. If only he can convince one of the national heroes of the Light Squad to back him up, Magnus just might have a chance to make history and become the first Downworlder President of Alicante.


MY TRUE LOVE GAVE TO ME by @imawriteriwrite [ G | AU | 59.4k | complete ]

Magnus Bane had a plan, a perfect Christmas Eve just like always. Hang out with his friends, bask in the Christmas Spirit. Then everything went wrong.

Now he’s stuck reliving the same day again and again and again. The bright side? Maybe Alec Lightwood isn’t as terrible as Magnus always thought.

spoiler alert.

Originally posted by xendozo

(joe keery x reader)

request: oh oh oh! Joe Keery meets Y/N when being interviewed and she’s like the camera woman or something and he invites her out on the town with the rest of the older cast and it’s drinks and love, you know! And Y/N ends up at Joe’s hotel room

summary: of course you and joe would bond over something as dumb as spoiling movies and tv shows you’ve (mostly) already seen to each other. weirdly enough, it also kind of is a massive turn on for joe. huh.

word count: 4, 532

a/n: so there are a lot of spoilers in here, but none for stranger things (go figure). but here are the movies and shows that are: star wars episode v, star wars episode vii, fight club, the handmaid’s tale, game of thrones, the sixth sense, 30 rock, harry potter and the halfblood prince. 


At least once a month, you post a picture of you wearing an all black outfit on Instagram with the caption let’s play a game called production blacks or emo (or a variation of that incredibly worn out joke). When you’re filming a live event, it’s all black, even down to your shoes. You can’t count the number of times that you’ve thrown on black sneakers, only to notice that they’ve got a white stripe down the sides. Which means running around the venue, trying to find some black duct tape or a black Sharpie to color it in.

In your college classes, you can remember multiple professors drilling it into your brain - people behind the camera should be invisible, to blend in with the background so everyone forgets that you’re there. On sets with scripted content, it’s a different story. But for anything else, you’ve got to be background noise. And you’re fine with that. There’s a kind of comfort that comes with being able to just settle into the background and watch the action go on around you.

Which is why it’s so unnerving when he noticed you.

Keep reading

How I Teach Men Not To Talk Over Me: from one feminist to another, when basic respect is lagging and conversations are impossible

I’ve done this to several men, and they catch on rather quickly. You’ll be able to have a conversation right then and there, and it works long term too - they might’ve forgot their manners by the time you talk to them again, but by repeating this, they’ll eventually learn to let you talk without you having to do this at the start of every convo. Source: I have a very stubborn older brother, who eventually learned too.


1. When they interrupt you, stop talking. Don’t try to raise your voice or battle them. Be completely quiet and wait.

2. Ignore everything they’re saying. Do not actually listen - just wait until they shut up. Don’t make a point of anything they say, do not answer to anything they say, do not refer to anything they say here. Literally do not listen a single word. Let them rant as long as they want.

3. When they finally shut up and wait for your reaction, say: ”I wasn’t done talking.”

4. Start over whatever you were saying when they interrupted you. I don’t care if it was a 10-minute explanation of rocket science. Start. Over. Repeat you original thought, but do not add anything related to what they just said while talking over you. That gives them the idea that it’s okay to interrupt you, you’ll still listen and pay attention and they’ll get their point clear without having to listen to yours. (It’s especially funny when you get done and they expect you to keep going talking about whatever they talked over you. The face when it sinks in that you didn’t listen a single word is glorious.)

5. If they interrupt you again, return to step 1. If you find yourself repeating the cycle over 3 times, tell them: ”you’re not letting me speak. Either you listen and wait for your turn, or our conversation ends here.” If they try to make excuses, laugh it off or keep interrupting, end the conversation. Prove them that if they wont let you speak, they’re not worth your time.


Why does this work? First, because sometimes talking over is internalized and men don’t actually notice they’re doing it. Being vocally called out makes them realize it and pay attention to it - especially if it happens more than once. Secondly, by refusing to aknowledge anything they say when they interrupt you, they’ll soon realize they will not get their own point across if they keep doing that. Peoole and especially men have the need to be heard and paid attention to when they talk - when you make it clear that by talking over you, they will not have your attention, they’ll learn to wait until you’re done, because they know that’s when you will be paying attention and actually listening.


Go my darlings. Have some actual conversations where your point of view is just as valid as his. Demand the basic respect of being heard. You can actually have some interesting conversations with men when they’re forced to listen too, when being louder is not going to make them feel like they’re dominating the conversation or winning the argument.

Day Off

Summary: Bucky really wants to take a nap with the reader, but she just wants to read.

Or

Bucky is a giant dog that needs a lot of attention.

Pairing: Bucky X Reader 

Word Count: 2,169

A/N: Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think! I would love to hear from you guys! Also, if you’re interested, I’m willing to take requests (if you can’t tell I like to write fluff). I can’t promise I’ll do them as I reserve the right to say no, but the offer is out there. <3 


“Please,” he whines, standing in the doorway to the living room. Y/N doesn’t look up from her book, curled in on herself on the couch. “Please, doll?”

She heaves a deep sigh and looks up, no longer able to focus after ten minutes of Bucky’s begging. “I want to read, Buck. This is my day off too.” He lets out a whine and shifts from foot to foot. “Just go nap by yourself. I don’t know why you need me there.” She lifts her book again and does her best to ignore Bucky’s hurt expression.

It’s quiet for a few minutes and Y/N thinks Bucky might’ve finally left her alone when he flops down onto the couch next to her and buries his face into her hip, arms pushing around her waist to tug her a little closer. “Please?” comes his muffled plea into the soft material of her sweatpants. “I don’t sleep well without you, sweetheart. And all I wanna do is cuddle with my girl.”

One of her hands comes down to tangle in his hair, fingernails gently scraping against his scalp. He practically purrs with pleasure. “You are the softest man I have ever met,” she says affectionately as she sets her book down on the armrest of the couch. He turns his head to look up at her with round, tired eyes.

“All I want is to spend my day with you,” he says sweetly before nuzzling back into her hip.

Y/N groans and lets her hand travel down to the nape of his neck to massage gently, “How am I supposed to say no with you being so cuddly and adorable?”

“Don’t,” he murmurs, kissing her clothed hip before pulling himself closer to kiss her stomach and rest his head there on the soft covered flesh, arms still tightly around her middle. “Please, sugar, you can keep readin’ just come to bed so I can lay with you.”

“Why don’t you just lie here?” She asks tugging on his dark locks before dragging her hand down to rub at the stubble on his jaw. “Just stay right here with me.”

He whines against her belly before heaving himself up, curling his legs up, the whole top half of his body in her lap now, “It’s not as comfortable here and the lights are too bright and Sam’ll come in here and start talkin’ to ya to annoy me and then I’ll have to punch him.” Bucky reaches up and cups his hand around her neck, thumb stroking along her jaw. “What’s wrong with me wantin’ to nap with my girl there?”

Y/N smiles and leans down to press a quick kiss to his pouty lips, “There’s nothing wrong with that. I just really wanna finish this book and I know you’ll want the lights off.”

Bucky’s quiet for a moment and so she pulls back, picking her book up to start reading again when he says, “What about a compromise?”

“Hmm?” she hums, not looking away from her book, not really hearing him anyways. He sighs and starts to pull away from her. Really, he just wants attention, particularly her attention. They’d been so busy the past few weeks that he’s barely seen her and now that they both had a day off and at the same time, all she wanted to do was read? It’s hard for him not to feel a little self-conscious and rejected. It is possible after all that she just doesn’t want to be around him.

When he pulls away entirely and starts to stand her fingers circle his wrist. He glances over to find Y/N staring at him in confusion, “Where are you going?”

“I’m just gonna leave you to your book.”

She frowns at him, “Okay…” His heart drops but he still gives her a shaky smile before trying to stand again. “But baby,” her voice stops Bucky, “I thought we were gonna compromise?”

Bucky is instantly back on the couch, all doubt gone suddenly, head in her lap, “Yeah. And?”

She scoffs at his ridiculousness, “Stay here and let me read for half an hour more and then I’ll go nap with you for as long as you want.”

That is something he can live with so he cuddles back into her as best as he can and closes his eyes. Y/N chuckles and throws a blanket over his body before going back to her book, keeping one hand twined with his flesh one. Really she doesn’t mind his clinginess, she thinks as she gazes down at his peaceful figure.

~

Half an hour later she’s poking him awake, “Buck?” He only groans in response and attempts to pull her back down onto the couch, grumbling when she moves out of his reach. “C’mon baby, don’t you wanna come snuggle with me?”

“Snuggle with me here,” he grouses without opening his eyes, his brow creasing adorably as he burrows further into the couch, noting that it wasn’t nearly as enjoyable now that Y/N had stood up.

Y/N hums, “Guess I’ll go by myself. Only thing is that bed is so big and cold…maybe I’ll have to ask somebody else to come cuddle with me-,”

He sits up in a flash, dark hair wild and messy around his head. “You wouldn’t dare,” Bucky growls, pulling her down onto his lap. She only leans forward and kisses him sweetly, first on the lips before peppering kisses to the corners of his mouth teasingly.

“Ready now?” In response he just buries his face in her neck and groans. “Aw poor thing, what can I do to make this an easier transition for you?”

“Kiss me again?” He asks against her, scruff tickling her throat.

Y/N runs her hand up his back and over his shoulders, soothing him gently before she reaches the hair at his neck and tangles her fingers there so she can tug his head back carefully. “Hey Blue,” she murmurs, gazing into his vibrant azure eyes. “I’ll always give you a kiss.”

“Then what are you waiting on sugar?”

She throws her head back and laughs before crashing her lips against his, fingers traveling to either side of his face, kissing him harder when she feels him smile. “Aren’t you supposed to be sleepy?” she asks when his hands start to drift up the back of her shirt, tracing her soft skin.

Bucky’s hands go to her hips and squeeze gently before sliding up her back again. When he reaches the clasp on her bra he quickly unhooks it and moves his hands around to cradle her ribs and brush his thumbs against the bottom curve of her breasts. He keeps his face pressed into her shoulder the entire time. “I am,” he comments tiredly. “I just like to touch you.”

“I know baby,” she pats his hair gently. “I know.” Y/N shifts so her knees are on either sides of his hips, pressing their chests together. Carefully she strokes her fingers down his spine as her chin rests on his shoulder and his arms go back around her, gripping tightly but not too tightly to be uncomfortable, the pressure carefully calculated.

Ever since they’ve been together Bucky has been like this, in need of near constant skin to skin contact. Most of the time there wasn’t a sexual expectation behind it. He just really liked to touch her, to feel her soft skin against his, to feel how warm and pliant she is, a physical representation of her trust. She trusts him enough to touch her tenderly, to see every part of her, to not hurt her, in fact to keep her safe.

Bucky runs his hands down her thighs before gripping them and standing from the couch. Y/N automatically wraps her legs around his hips as he begins walking toward their room before asking, “You know why I like you so much, Barnes?”

“Why’s that babydoll?”

“’Cause I know if I decided I never wanted to walk anywhere ever again that you would carry me anywhere I wanted to go. And I could trust you not to drop me.”

He chuckles as he reaches their bedroom, kicking the door shut behind them once inside, “A good reason…and a true one. I’d do pretty much anything you asked me to.”

She leans back a little in his arms to look into his eyes. Her fingers keep dancing through the hair at the nape of his neck, “Good thing you trust me not to ask you to do anything.”

A smile creases his face, nose scrunching up adorably, “And that’s why I like you so much.” He walks over to their bed and deposits her there before turning away to strip out of his sweatpants and shirt. Y/N reaches under her shirt to discard her already half-off bra thanks to Bucky, to then shuck off her sweatpants and pull back the duvet.

The sleepy super-soldier collapses onto the bed, seemingly already half asleep again. Y/N tells Friday to put down their blinds and turn off their lights before she asks Bucky, “Little spoon or big spoon, Bucky?”

“Neither,” he mutters, reaching for her in the dark to pull her on top of his chest. “Just like this, Y/N.”

She laughs quietly settling her legs on the outside of his and laying her head on his chest, gently brushing her fingers through his hair. For a little while it’s quiet as Bucky settles his arms around her waist and huffs out a sigh of contentment, finally having gotten what he’d been begging for for the better part of a day. Happiness floods him and he can’t help but smile into the darkness.

Y/N is nearly asleep when Bucky starts murmuring to her in the dark, chest vibrating with every word. It’s mostly nonsense as he lets his guard down in the warm safety of their room. “…so important to me. And I hope that you keep lookin’ at me the way you do for a long, long time. Don’t know what I’d do without you really. Maybe we can order pizza later? No, we always fight about toppings and I made you cry the last time. I’m still really sorry about that, and anyways Sam and Tony’ll show up and want some and then everything’ll be ruined. Maybe Chinese instead…or get somethin’ from the Indian place you showed me. That was really good.”

She runs her fingers along the scars on his left shoulder as he talks, tracing and caressing. The fact that he doesn’t pause or flinch as she does so shows his level of trust and belief in her. The whole time he talks Bucky never stops stroking his hands, metal and flesh alike, over her back and shoulders and hips.

“…and so he said that I couldn’t keep the cat. It’s true I wouldn’t be here enough to take proper care of it. So, me and Steve took it to the shelter and they called yesterday to let me know she got adopted, sent a picture of the owner with the cat too. Apparently that’s not allowed usually but they told the woman and she was more than happy…Are you asleep?”

She smiles into his chest, “No, I’m listening. Keep going, I like your voice.”

“Makin’ me blush doll,” he says proudly before continuing on, happy to just have his girl all to himself for once. He tugs on her shirt after a few more minutes of rambling, “Can we take this off? I wanna feel you.” They often slept naked and so Y/N sits up and takes her shirt off, his hands coming up to cup her breasts softly and run his thumbs against her nipples gently before pulling her back down to his chest. She buries her face into his neck. “God, you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met.”

“Hush,” she says.

“And so soft and lovely,” he says, tilting her head up to meet his eyes. “And I am so lucky.”

Y/N kisses his chin, “I think we’re both pretty lucky.”

He hums in agreement as she presses her nose into his throat, inhaling deeply. “Let’s sleep now babydoll,” he says as he pulls the duvet over their heads, voice worn-out and drowsy.

“You’re the one that’s been talking. Telling me about going to the grocery store with Sam. You should have known that would be a disaster. You two better send them some money and an apology letter,” Y/N complains jokingly against his skin.

He shushes her and kisses her lips softly before dropping off into sleep, his whole body relaxed and peaceful. She chuckles and winds her arms around his neck, kissing his cheek before pressing her forehead to his temple. “I love you, you stupid puppy man,” she mumbles before falling asleep. His arms tighten slightly around her waist as he smiles.

Bucky loves her too.