i can not be funny

noodleexplosion  asked:

Bitty & Ford for the rare pairs (๑>◡<๑)

“You know what I hate about football?”

Ford and Bitty were huddled around the kitchen table, drinking boxed wine like it was juice and carefully beading the friendship bracelets Ford had insisted on.

“Everything?” Bitty asked, looking too pleased with his lumpy blue and yellow bracelet.

“No,” Ford said, testing the length of her own bracelet against the diameter of her wrist. “The pants. Why do they have to be so tight? Same with baseball. It’s silly, look at basketball, they’re fine in their baggy shorts.”

“This is why us gays and lesbians can never be friends,” Bitty chirped solemnly. “That’s my favorite part of football.”

Please,” Ford said, pulling out a few beads that spelled SMH to go with her red and white thread. “You can spit out stats faster than my brothers–and Marcus plays for U.T.”

“I didn’t say there weren’t other aspects I enjoy–or have been forced to enjoy over the years,” Bitty corrected, grabbing as many heart-shaped beads and he could find. “But Lord if those pants weren’t responsible for my…awakening.”

“Corsets.”

“Pardon?”

Ford gave him a sheepish grin. “We put on a production of Orphée aux enfers in high school and everyone wore these ridiculous corsets for the Infernal Gallop–the can-can,” she clarified, much to Bitty’s delight. “And, well. The guys all looked goofy to me, even though everyone said they looked super hot. But the girls…”

“Well, look at us,” Bitty said, grabbing his wine and raising it in a mock toast. “Theater made you gay and now it’s your major. Sports made me gay and I’m captain of an NCAA team.”

“The gay agenda, at its finest,” Ford said, raising her glass to tap against his.

“Does the gay agenda include bungling up friendship bracelets, because I’m pretty sure Jack’s not gonna wear this monstrosity.” Bitty held up a wonky bracelet, and all the heart-shaped beads slid together with a quiet clacking noise.

“Yep,” Ford said with a laugh. “And the lesbian agenda is helping you make it better.”

“Thanks, sugar,” Bitty said, pulling her into a tight hug as she rounded the table. “Now, how do you think Dex and Nursey would feel about matching colors?”

[Send me an OMGCP rare pair and I’ll write a drabble.]

  • Clegane: *throws a stick at a white walker*
  • White Walker: I'm a good zombie so Imma let that go.
  • Clegane: *throws a rock at the white walker*
  • White Walker, walking over to kill Clegane: :) I’m :) trying :) to :) be :) a :) better :) person :) but :) some :) people :) are :) testing :) me :)

What do you call a fanfiction that you wrote with people hella close to you?


A famfiction

The fact that French students still barricade their high schools/university buildings with furniture to protest shit is the True™ les Mis legacy

Houses as things I overheard while hiking part two
  • Gryffindor: "Yeah I'm going to chug all four servings of this entire energy drink now so that I'll crash later and actually get some sleep."
  • Hufflepuff: "Your aim's a little off- now look at that. You just smushed the ant. Now it can't crawl anymore."
  • Ravenclaw: "I don't feel that sore right now, but ask me again tomorrow morning and I'm sure I'll have a more colorful answer for you."
  • Slytherin: "If I don't have calves of steel or abs of iron by the end of this trip, I'm going to feel so cheated."
9

SuperCorp + A Sudden Vacation to Australia??? (at least Lena tried…) 

Bonus: 

(Previous SuperCorp Cracks can be found here

my favorite blanket just came out of the dryer, and i dont care how hot it is outside or how many aliens are invading, im gonna go have a Warm Blanket Nap and nobody can stop me