i can no longer go back

I’m not sure if this has been pointed out before. But can we just talk about this small moment, right here? We all remember this iconic hug, how could we forget? But let’s pay attention to Guy because it looks like he’s trying to pull away?? Like he’s probably thinking, “okay good hug, now we have to go up on stage”. He probably thought the hug was gonna be brief, but when he tries to pull away, he can’t. It looks like Thomas tightens his hold and pulls Guy back towards him, and then Guy gives him that reassuring, comforting pat on the back. You guys, it might just be me, but what I’m seeing here is that the hug went on longer because Thomas wouldn’t let go of Guy until they absolutely had to go up on stage.

Always

No one asked for this, but I got the idea and just thought I’d put it here.

Your phone chirped under your pillow. It was rare for you to actually have the ringer on so the sound startled you out of your sleep. Curiosity made you grab your phone, wondering who could be texting you at this hour. It was 3 AM, and the texter was Peter Parker your best friend and boyfriend though the best friend part had been going on way longer than the boyfriend part.

-Can I come over?

-Pete, it’s 3

-I just really need to see you.

You gave it a thought as you lie in bed. Your parents were fast asleep and wouldn’t wake back up for another three to four hours. Peter never asked to come see you in the middle of the night unless it was important.

-Come on

You sent the text then got out of bed. There were  few things you needed to do before your web slinging boyfriend made his way to your window. However just as you stood up to get yourself together there was a knock on your window. You groaned. Sure he’d seen you like this before, but with him being your boyfriend and all you wanted to at least take of your bonnet. Either way, it was too late so you opened up the window and stepped aside so peter could come in. He looked sad… like really sad. As you looked up at him you noticed how red and puffy his eyes were… he’d been crying.

“Pete, what’s wrong?” you crooned opening your arms to take him into a hug. He didn’t respond he just kept hugging you and with the shudder of his body you assumed he was crying again. You slowly lead him to your bed so the two of you could sit down.

“I couldn’t save them,” Peter uttered after the two of you sat and he let go of you. He stared down at the floor, tears still falling. You knew there was nothing you could really say so you just hugged him again, tucking his head into the space between your neck and shoulder and resting your cheek against the top of his head.

“They were right there, Y/N, and- and the building was burning and I-” he was crying hard again and you just held him tighter quietly hushing him. A few more moments passed and the tears weren’t falling anymore, Peter just stared at the far wall blankly, then he spoke again.

“I’m sorry I woke you up.”

“Oh shut up, Parker,” you sighed, smiling a little bit though, “if you need me I’m here. That’s sort of in my job description… in like both of them. I know what I was getting into when I decided to ask my best friend out.”

“It’s three in the morning though, and we have school-”

“Shut up, Pete,” you huffed again, “I don’t mind. I want to be here for you.”

There was silence. Within that silence you noticed Peter was still in his Spider-Man suit. You had some of his clothes in your drawers… waaay in the back where no one but you would find them. They were from years of careful thieving, but now they seemed to come in handy. You got up, Peter made a sound of protest as you did so. You continued across the room though and went through your drawers until you found one of his shirts and his pajama pants. You tossed them to him as you turned around to go back to your bed.

“I’ve been looking for these.”

“I stole them,” you shrugged.

A ghost of a smile played on his lips.

“You can change over there, I promise I won’t look.” You covered your eyes and turned the opposite direction. You could hear him trying to get changed as quickly as physically possible. It’s not like this was the first time Peter had come to your home in the middle of the night in need of comfort. You remembered the time Tony took the suit away from Peter, how he came to your window, scaring the shit out of you, in need of a hug. Back then you were just friends, but you realized you were in love with him that night. He told you he was the Spider-Man everyone was raving about, and that he’d messed up so bad that he wasn’t sure if he could continue to be a superhero. Then you just held him, until he fell asleep and while he slept you thought about everything, about how you felt, about how he could feel, and you decided to say nothing. He needed a friend, then, he needed normalcy so that’s what you gave him. Yes, it hurt when he went to homecoming with Liz… but it hurt worse when he left early and you knew he was getting into trouble. That night you vowed to just tell him, because he was your best friend, you told each other everything. Also, he was Spider-Man and he could get hurt so easily.

“You can turn around,” Peter spoke from behind you. You pulled your covers back, enough for the both of you then laid down. When you noticed he was standing awkwardly at the side of your bed you rolled your eyes and motioned for him to join you. After you were comfortable you opened your arms to him. He sunk lower in the bed so he could rest his head just under your collarbone. You buried one hand in his hair, lazily massaging his scalp, and the other hand rested on the arm he had slung over your waist.

“It’s alright, Pete,” you murmured.

“It’s not alright, don’t say that,” he grumbled.

“You have to let me finish. It’s alright to be upset right now. You should be, but don’t let this stop you. Sometimes heroes save people, sometimes people get hurt when they do… but if heroes do nothing for fear of someone getting hurt then no one gets saved,” You could feel a few of his tears soak into your t-shirt, “You can’t focus on the losses, it’ll tear you apart… at least that’s what mom says about the people in the hospitals. When she loses a patient she wants to cry every time, but if she gives up after every loss then who knows what will happen to the people destined to be saved by her. She has to pick herself up and carry on. She learns from the people she lost to better save the people of tomorrow. And that’s what you gotta do, babe. This hurts, I know, but all you can do is learn, and try to be better next time.” You kissed his forehead, letting your lips linger there for longer than normal. Peter held you a bit tighter, but you didn’t mind. Peter was warm and he smelled like cologne. It wasn’t overbearing, it was light but there, and you knew tomorrow morning your bed would still smell like him.

“Thanks,” he murmured.

“That’s what I’m here for,” you waved off his thanks.

“No really,” Peter sat up a little bit to look you in the eyes, “You’re the best.”

“I’ll always be here for you, Pete. Always.”

He settled back into your comforting embrace, satisfied with your response. You closed your eyes ready to go to sleep as the silence between the two of you set in, but Peter spoke again.

“Mr. Stark thinks you’re too pretty for me,” Peter laughed a little, “I mean he’s right about that, but also I just think you’re just all around too good.”

“You talk to Tony Stark about me?” you laughed a little.

“I talk to anyone who will listen about you,” he chuckled ruefully, “but Mr.Stark asked, and I told him you’re the most caring, kind person I know.”

“I could say the same thing about you.”

“You’ve always been there for me, Y/N.”

“And I always will be. Even if for some reason we don’t work out as a couple, you’ll always be my best friend.”

~Mod Lillian

HC: Newt Helping Reader With Chores Who Has A Broken Limb

Requested by @irlus

♥ Newt helping you with chores while having a broken limb would include:

  • Newt would obviously insist on doing the harder chores; such as dusting or sweeping. 

  • Even with the easier tasks he’d still help you.

- “Newt, it’s just folding laundry. I can do it! Go back to your work. Your creatures need you.”

- “They can live without me for a little while longer, love.”

  • You’d roll your eyes and try not to smile as he’d take a seat next to you on the sofa and help sort out the laundry and folding it.

  • The minute you’d finish and you’d try to stand up and carry it to the bedroom to put away, he’d instantly grab the pile and insist on carrying it for you.

  • You’d allow him to do so. Realizing it’s pointless to argue with him anymore.

Keep reading

I can’t go back

I desperately wish I could
I feel as though
Our pieces do not fit
together
anymore
We are no longer two halves of a whole
Maybe
just two pieces of a different puzzle trying
to make things work
Trying
Trying to connect
inevitably we will bend
Or
Break

Or maybe
Maybe

We can make a new picture
Not perfect but ours
Together
The pieces
We did not mean to
Bend
Can be beautiful again

—  T.W.
In case you decide to check on me

In all honesty, I do miss you, but I pray every day that you never come back into my life. I’m really trying to block out the way you treated me when I needed you the most.

I’ve finally started to forgive myself for not being able to get you back, considering I fought like hell when I had nearly no strength left to do so. However, I would still take you back in a heartbeat, and that, I could never forgive myself for.

I now have to decide if I want to continue with a lawsuit against a rapist, without you as a witness, which would’ve really helped.

When the person you care about most isn’t there for you, it’s heartbreaking. I’m always going to think about you and wonder if you’re okay, but I really don’t want to know the answer. I can no longer be there for you when you were never really here for me.

If you ever want to contact me about being “friends” in the future, just don’t. I hope you find the happiness that you’re looking for, but I cannot forgive you for putting me through this misery & making this situation 5 million times harder. I wish you the best🌹

okok theres one part of elements i really liked but keep forgetting to talk about so ill post it b4 i forget again

but HEYO finn and pb’s platonic relationship is. really very important to me holy shit, AT’s been pushing the ‘moving on’ from his crush thing for a couple of seasons now and i still go hell yeah every time its reinforced

LSP tries to break the fire elemental curse on finn by telling him to go to his happy place but his brain automatically goes to all this past romantic stuff with PB at first, its real bad because its still wrapped in flames but Then

finn crushes it, puts out the fire (or rage and anger/pain as the element represents here)

and he goes back to his real happy place, back to pajama wars (still a super fav ep!!) where all they did was hang out like best friends w no hint of romance whatsoever

it felt like a real throwback to Dont Look where finn’s “true perception” of PB wasn’t an infatuated crush but just one of his bros

my boy’s moved on and is learning and enjoying his friendships and im proud of him

2

YOI Future!Verse ABO AU - 4 Koma

Interacting with other mothers… + The aftermath

Yuuri despises socializing with people he doesn’t know, but his unconventional family and marriage is one of the hottest gossip topics in town especially among the other mums. One day, he decides to just fuck it all…and sorely regrets it afterwards.

(Featuring OC kid Arisa, and later Yasha and Shura)

*If the comics are hard to read, tap on the image first to bring it up in the Tumblr viewer, THEN right click view image for the unaltered slightly higher resolution.

~~

IF YOU ARE NEW TO THIS AU: It’s a Yuri!!! on Ice AU, Yuuri-centric with end-game polyamory in an ABO setting, Yuuri gets married to four mates (Victor, Yurio, Phichit, Minami) and they have OC kids.

BASICS and timeline of this AU

INTRO to how ABO works in this AU

A SUPER DETAILED world-building headcanons post on ABO+ in this AU

OTHER POSTS (comics + illustrations) in the Future!Verse ABO section of my YOI Masterpost.

~~

Please keep ship bashing out of the comments/tags. Don’t like, just skip <3 Thank you.

~~

PLEASE DO NOT REPOST, EDIT, TRANSLATE, OR OTHERWISE USE MY ART. More detailed rules available on my Rules & FAQ Post.

Things the Hogwarts Houses say

(loosely based on conversations I’ve had/overheard)

Hufflepuff -

  • “If you don’t start singing along to High School Musical with me in under 30 seconds you will no longer be my best friend" 
  •  "I swear on my chicken nuggets-”
  • “Yes I made that joke up by my self - no it’s not from Spongebob Squarepants how dARE YOU-”
  • “Speaking of Spongebob can we just take a few moments to discuss how much of a masterpiece that first movie was please”
  • “Ah yes, it’s 3 in the morning, time to get emotional and tell all my friends how much I love them”
  • “You made me chocolate??? Oh my God I love you so much thank you I’ll have some right no - THIS HAS RAISINS IN IT YOU TRICKED ME
  • “Oh my God yeah I saw that movie, my favourite part was when - oh shit wait there’s this adorable kitten video I meant to show you last week and I completely forgot let me get it up on my phone”
  • “Sorry I’m late I was up all night watching those videos where kids get surprised with puppies”
  • “Are you awake? Great, let’s start planning our future homes together, I have a pinterest board ready”
  • “This is my favourite photo album! It’s full of photos of all the cats and dogs I’ve made friends with on my walks, I’ve even given them all names”
  • (crying) “Stop calling me emotional God damn it”

Ravenclaw -

  •  "Of course I remember you said you liked the colour red, you told me at like 1:35 am last year in May"
  • “What? Simplifying equations? No, I can’t help with that but I do know all the words to every Simpsons episode in the first 5 seasons if that helps"
  • “Sorry I really can’t go out today. No I’m fine, I’m just stressed I’m doing something important. I’m trying to memorise all the words to this documentary about frogs - What? Yes of course it’s important!”
  • “I discovered and fully analysed that meme 3 weeks ago, step up your game”
  • “What do you mean why do I have a folder full of strategic plans on how to succeed at animal crossing, that’s not weird?”
  • “Sir, I don’t mean to be rude but I’ve been doing my own research and you’re getting all of this wrong. Well yes I know I’m not the teacher here but - Yes, actually, I’d love to teach the class my self I’ve already made a lesson plan, thank you”
  • No, I won’t come and see Jurassic World with you. Because it’s completely unrealistic! Do you have any idea what dinosaurs are actually supposed to have sounded and looked like? Even adult velociraptors weren’t meant to be that b - OK you know what, I will come, but I’ll be pointing out every single problem to you. No, it’s too late, you already invited me. I’m buying our tickets right now, don’t move”
  • “You really think you can beat me at Mario Kart? I have spent YEARS studying this game and honing my skills, spending hours upon hours training until my hands cramp and even my tv is judging the amount of time I’ve spent playing and you think YOU can beat me? Let’s fucking go
  • “I think these guys think I want to murder them because I followed them home but it’s only because I overheard them talking about what would happen if Pokemon is real and I wanted to see how good their logic was”
  • “Shut up? Shut up? I haven’t shut up for 17 years and I’m not about to start now”
  • (crying) "I just want Shakespeare’s ghost to be proud of me”

Gryffindor - 

  • “I’d love to have a sleepover but it can only be when there’s a thunderstorm so we can dance in the rain, let me check the weather forecast”
  • “Did that bee just try and sting you? COME BACK HERE BEE YOU COWARD I’M GONNA FUCK YOU UP - wait shit no run”
  • "What did you say? Don’t touch it? Alright.” (touches it as soon as the person turns away) “Sucker”
  • “Whaaat? Someone wrote on the desk? No it wasn’t me I would never do th - My name was there? Well, I’m not the only one in the world with my na - My surname was there too? What are the chances?!”
  • “Help me I started saying lmao ironically and I can’t stop”
  • “Before you say anything it wasn’t me - unless it was something awesome then I definitely planned the whole thing”
  • Excuse me? They said what to you? … I have to go for a second, I just remembered something completely unrelated. No, no, I’m not taking this fork with me for any particular reason”
  • “Um, did you just tell me it’s impossible to sing along to a guitar solo? Stand back. Your mind is about to get blown”
  • “I am so not drunk! I’m completely drunk! … Wait shit I meant sober”
  • “I’M SO PROUD OF YOU AAAH LET ME HUG YOU! I’M NOT LETTING GO FOR THE NEXT 3 HOURS, GET COMFORTABLE BITCH”
  • “I bet I can stay up for longer than you - what no I’m not tired shut up - nO THAT WASN’T A YAWN I WAS JUST SHOWING YOU WHAT IT WOULD LOOK LIKE IF I WAS TIRED - SEE I DID IT AGAIN TOTALLY ON PURPO - ok fuck you I’m going to sleep”

Slytherin - 

  • “Oh my God, just tell me what you did already so I can start complaining”
  • “Sorry, I didn’t catch that. Did you say STOP saying fuck, or KEEP ON saying fuck?”
  • “Over your dead body? I was hoping you’d say that”
  • “If you even LOOK at them one more time I will take a stick as big as your ego and stick it right up your-”
  • “Don’t come near me or - OK fine, we can snuggle for exactly 15 minutes. I’m setting a timer now”
  • “Hey, I saw you posted a picture of us on instagram yesterday where my eyeliner isn’t completely straight? You’re gonna have to delete that, if anyone thinks my eyeliner isn’t drop dead perfect every day and that I’m not a literal make up goddess I’ll lose my reputation as the Regina George of the school”
  • “But keep the one where I’m wearing no make up so that all those bitches know I still kill it without trying”
  • “Oh come on, you know I’d never do anything to embarrass you! Speaking of which, that video I posted on youtube the other day of you falling down the flight of escalators in the shopping centre has reached over 1000 views”
  • “My dad told me tattoos were trashy so I got a giant tattoo saying ‘trashy’ on my back I’ll send you his reaction later”
  • “I’m not a sentimental person but if you touch my teddy bear I will turn you into a stuffed trophy to put next to him”
  • “What do you mean I look smug this is my normal face”

Okay but you guys know what this all means in Sci-Fi right now? 

The latest Star Trek Captain and First Officer are women of colour. 

The main leads in Star Wars are women, and men of colour. 

Wonder Woman and her tribe of Amazonians (many of whom are woc too) are on the big screen breaking all the records. 

The Ghostbusters are all brilliant women who ain’t afraid of nothing. 

And now the Doctor is female too! 

Women are taking Sci-Fi back! It’s ours again, we created it and now we get to have it! Little girls can dress up as all their heroes and be excited by that!

White Men are going out! They’re no longer always centre stage and it’s fucking fantastic

It’s such a good new move and I’m like…. I’m so happy to be alive to see this happen!!

my experience with adhd
  • I don’t even remember putting that thing down but now it’s not in my hand and I don’t know where it went
  • ‘what do you mean you can just think about nothing? what’s that like? I don’t understand’
  • *tuning out of a conversation halfway through somebody else’s sentence because I just thought of something interesting*
  • carrying my psychiatrist’s business card with me at all times because I see her once a month and every time I go I forget what floor her office is on. I’ve been there 8 times
  • ‘Between A & B, A would be the right thing to do’ *a cascading thought process that takes a few seconds tops, justifying option B* ‘actually B would be the right thing to do’
    • somebody else, later: why did you think B was the right thing to do??
    • me: …. it’s not important, I’ll know better next time
    • (spoiler: I won’t know better next time)
  • I know you already told me this thing like 12 times but can you tell me again just one more time because I forgot
  • it’s not that I forgot that I wasn’t supposed to do this thing. it’s just that in that particular moment i thought it was okay to do it anyway for reasons that would take 48 minutes to explain even though it only took me 3 seconds to justify it in my thoughts, so it’s easier for me to just say ‘I forgot’
  • ‘I already told you that’ ‘really? I must have forgotten, i’m sorry’ ‘it was FIVE MINUTES AGO. in this SAME CONVERSATION’
  • this internal conversation:
    • me: I feel motivated to do this responsible thing
    • me: if I don’t do this responsible thing right now I will get distracted and forget to do it for another 5 hours
    • me: so I should do this thing right this second, there is nothing stopping me
    • me: after I finish this one cell phone game
    • me, 5 hours later: I KNEW THIS WOULD HAPPEN
  • almost flunking a class because I straight up didn’t know any homework had been assigned despite loving the class and always attending
  • trusting the memory of literally anyone else over my own memory
  • intending to do something for days. sometimes months. never doing it
  • *cuddling somebody* mm this is nice … *2 seconds later* bored now
  • somebody is mad at me. I might as well fucking d i e
  • the options in company are: overshare about the one thing I care about or not talk at all
  • insensitive or inattentive? YOU decide (and when you tell me that i hurt your feelings and I didn’t notice I’ll rejection sensitive dysphoria into fantasies of disappearing forever)
  • being excellent at my job for months on end, doing everything right and everything well, and then suddenly & without explanation being t h e  w o r s t at it for several weeks, making dumb mistakes everywhere for no discernible reason
  • when asked to explain something: well it all started when I was a baby
    • ‘they don’t need that much explanation’ well YOU tell ME where to start b/c I have no fucking clue tbh
  • i can’t throw away anything b/c when I look at it I remember all the sentimental reasons I keep it around and they seem just as important as actually needing it and when I close the storage box back up I forget I had it in the first place until the next time I try to get rid of my clutter and repeat this process
  • i wasnt’ idle for a second all day and yet I didn’t accomplish a n y t h i n g
  • am i a speed-reader or was I so impatient for what came next that I read only half a page and then skipped to the next one?
  • getting excited about a project, starting it, then racing to finish it as fast as I can because when I get bored I’ll abandon it and never go back. must beat the boredom
    • edit my fics? working twice on the same idea? /uproarious laughter
    • well I fucked that up. too bad I can never rework it because I no longer have passionate energy for it
  • me, opening a bottle of adhd meds: I don’t have adhd. I’m just a lazy bum who doesn’t try hard enough

This is something I hope all of my followers and the entire studyblr community will read…

Last year was the hardest year of my life and I did not even notice it until I was out of it. To give a little background, I was 19, and becoming a college senior. I completed my bachelor’s degree with a double major, summa cum laude. I worked two jobs, one retail, one as a tour guide, five days a week, and took seven classes in the fall, and eight in the spring, and six in the summer. By March I had lost 16 pounds, was not eating, not sleeping, and drinking four or more cups of coffee a day. I had a boyfriend, friends, a roommate, I was president of a club, vice president of another, and working as vice president of one club’s international leadership program as one of five student board members across sixty-three countries. I studied for my LSAT, took the exam, and applied to law school. And in August, I will be the youngest person in my law school.

I pushed myself harder and further than I ever imagined, and though I sometimes (often) felt like it, I never cracked, gave up, or even collapsed. I did not always take care of myself, physically, mentally, or emotionally though, and I failed myself there, but I was so driven, so determined, that none of that mattered to me at that moment. I do not regret that or any of the choices I have made, but I pressured myself more than anyone ever has, and more than I ever have. I accomplished unbelievable things, but at an insane cost - my health.

Often in this community I receive messages, and see posts, encouraging you to never give up, and to always push yourself to get that A, pass that test, graduate, or to overcome whatever academic or otherwise challenges you are facing. Almost daily I receive messages asking how I do it. “How did you graduate at 20?”, “How do you keep up with all of your commitments?”, and even, “You are so amazing, I could never do it like you do”. But I am here to tell you well, it is not pretty. I went days without eating a meal at times. Days without washing my hair, of wearing the same torn leggings and a hoodie because a grade meant more to me than I meant to myself. I got walking pneumonia at the end of the spring term because I had pushed myself too hard and spent weeks telling myself I could not afford to be sick today, tomorrow, or the next day. I wore myself down so much that I had a doctor literally tell me that now at 20 years old, if I do not tone down the stress and pressure I subject myself to, that I could give myself a stroke. A stroke, 20 years old!

Being a perfectionist, and being so overwhelmingly addicted to my studies, is not glamorous.

I am making this post not to brag about my accomplishments, but because I receive messages daily idolizing me and what I have done. I want everyone to know that this is not easy. Having a dream is hard work, and I have been unfairly hard on myself. Just because you do not see someone’s cracks and scars, does not mean they are not there. I have worked hard, and have earned these things, but I have made sacrifices I would hate to see anyone else make.

In 10 days I move across the country to start law school, and I am terrified that I will allow myself to do this all over again. I am not afraid of the move, or of law school, but of myself and how I talk to myself and treat myself, and the amount of stress and pressure I am willing to apply to myself, without hesitation. In a month I have law school orientation, and have set up a meeting with one of the school’s onsite trauma therapists. I refuse to let myself be my own greatest roadblock. I have to learn to love myself. It is not fair to your body and mind to put grades above yourself. I now full heartedly believe that a grade is not worth your health. I will no longer break my back bending over backwards for an A+. I will no longer let myself go days without food and rest because I want this essay to be perfect, or my presentation to go as planned, second by second. I will allow myself to be happy, well rested, well fed, and healthy. I will love myself, and this is a promise I am making to myself and to all of you, and a promise I hope you all can make to yourselves as well.

I promise.

TLDR; Be dedicated, and determined to get what you want, but do not sacrifice your health, mental, physical, or emotional, for a grade, a diploma, a degree… You are worth so much more than a letter on a piece of paper, and it is okay to sometimes need to hear that. I know I did.

badboy!jungkook + the reality of us

Six years ago…


“I told you I hate that flavor.” He glared, swiping at your lips with his thumb until you were slapping his hands away because he was wiping it all off.

“Well when you start paying for my lip gloss I’ll take it into consideration.” You spat, licking at your lips anyway because they taste less like grape and more like Jungkook.

Jungkook glared down at the little black bag sitting in the cab of his truck, a muscle in his jaw ticking until he reneged, ripping open the glove compartment to shove it in ‘til it was out of eye sight. After a final curse he unlocked his phone.

Jungkook [6:01:45]: when I say 5:30 it doesn’t mean make me wait in your drive way for 30 goddamn minutes

Jungkook [6:05:34]: what the fuck are you doing up there

Jungkook [6:07:23]: one more minute and I’m leaving your ass here

Jungkook [6:10:12]: fuck right off

He had only just sent the text when your front door was flying open, your very flustered self sprinting down your driveway until you could yank open the door of his truck with a grin. He wanted to glare, do anything but return your stupid goo goo eyes but he couldn’t help himself.

Not when it’s been an entire month since he’s seen you last, save for through the small rectangular screen of his phone. Especially not when you had returned home from camp looking gorgeous and brown from the summer sun, nearly blinding with your own radiance. He hadn’t understood, even all this time the point of going to a stupid fucking cheer camp the summer before college started and you would end whatever little thing you and Jungkook had had for the past year for good. But you had patiently if but a little patronizingly explained to him that you wanted to keep in shape for the fall tryouts at your school.

You sure had kept your fucking word about that. Somehow your body looked even more delectable than when you had left, the smooth expanse of your back revealed in a tank top cut so low there was no way you could possibly be wearing a bra under that. The ripped and frayed state of your jeans and scuffed white converse proved to be much less scandalous than your shirt choice. However—

“You cut your hair.” Jungkook said lamely, stating the obvious.

Your only response was to turn back to him with a grin, before attempting to throw yourself on him over he middle console. He still caught you though, his firm grip around your waist betraying the sneer he was sporting—it only made you grin wider when you brought your lips together.

Jungkook’s eyes widen the slightest when an eager tongue swipes over his lips and your physically climbing over the middle console to get to him, his hands catch you around the waist and he’s suddenly just as invested in the kiss. His mouth is scalding on your own, lips sealed over yours in an almost feverish haze as though he’s trying to communicate just how much the distance affected him in a single kiss. Your touch is just as desperate though, reaching up his shirt to press against the smooth muscle there. It had been so long, you just needed to touch him, feel him, feel the familiar press of his erection—one that never failed to make an appearance in your presence.

And then he’s pulling away from you, hands clutching your face a safe distance from your own, “Your parents.”

He asks the logical questions because it appears you weren’t going to be the level headed one this time around. Still, you try and dive back in for another kiss, but his grip only tightens with a frown.

“Out of town.” You whimper, making another attempt to get closer to him. This time you succeed and Jungkook waits all of five seconds with his mouth against your own to pull away again.

“Then why the fuck,” he says between kisses and swipes of tongue, “are we hooking up in my truck?”

“We’re not.” You groan, pressing your core deeper against the zipper of his jeans, “We’re not fucking. I’m just… I just—”

“Will you stop grinding long enough to finish your goddamn sentence. Jesus Christ,” he curses when your head dips back, and a hiss slips through his teeth on a particular roll of your hips, “You act like.. l-like we’ve been apart a year instead of a month. Fuck baby, quit that.”

“Okay, okay I’m s-sorry.” You say on a shudder when his teeth nip roughly at your lower lip. You still can’t help but dip your head into the crook of his shoulder and inhale his scent, “I don’t do good with distance s-sorry. I missed you.”

“I couldn’t tell.” He replied dryly, sending you a cocky grin when you glare at him.

Your glare is gone just as quickly as it came though and your eyes flutter shut in defeat, or a pout, Jungkook could never be sure with you.

“I’m so wet.” You whined before exhaling with a shake of your head, “We are not fucking today.”

Jungkook snorts, “Are trying to convince me or yourself?”

“You,” you answer firmly before cocking your head to the side with a frown, “No me. Wait… both of us?”

Jungkook rolls his eyes but catches you by the scruff of the neck, gaze laser focused on your full lower lip before he’s dipping in for another kiss—it’s slower this time and reverberating a softness you weren’t aware Jeon Jungkook was capable of.

“You irritated the hell out of me for a month.” He glared, but he was hugging your waist, you cocked an eyebrow at his contradictory behavior. As though a switch had been flipped, his gaze narrowed to slits and he was cocking his head at you.

“What?” You sigh.

“How was camp?” He implored, but his words were laced with suspicion.

“It was good.” You shrug, “Actually I kind of miss it. I made a lot of friends there.”

“Yeah?” Jungkook asks stiffly, “Then why’d you bother coming back at all?”

“Don’t start.” You groan, hands going to cup his face and though his pouting was adorable it ruffled your feathers.

“And what about that nerd…. Taekyung? You two keeping in touch over break?” He sneers.

You let out a deep exhale at the mention of your companion—you and Jungkook had been getting along well, fucking great in fact, as though the distance had triggered something in the both of you and lit a fire under Jungkook’s ass. He would call almost everyday, text you when he was busy, it was almost… domestic of him. You had gotten too comfortable with the Jungkook that was caring in his own roundabout way that you forgot to be wary of the green eyed beast that lurked just beneath the surface of his cool exterior. He had asked for a selfie and you had tugged one of the girls in your squad, and a very discombobulated Taehyung into a picture after one of the more intense days at camp.

Safe to say, Jungkook didn’t appreciate it—your lack of clothing or Taehyung’s close proximity.

No. I haven’t been keeping in touch with him.” You snapped, “But how are you and Jennie, I saw you tagged in more than one of her pictures on Instagram. Is she doing well? Still sucking dick under the bleachers?”

“If she is its not fucking mine.” He bites out crudely, “Considering I’ve only had my dick in one uptight bitch for the past year and half. I haven’t even seen her since we fought on the phone for a fucking hour because of that stupid ass picture.”

“Good.”

“Great.”

“Yep.”

You pinch the bridge of your nose before matching Jungkook’s glare with intense scrutiny, “We’ve been together all of five minutes why are we fighting already?”

“It’s not a fight.” He spits.

“Then what the hell is it?” You scoff.

“A discussion, a very loud fuckin’ discussion.”

“Are we seriously fighting over whether or not we’re having a fight?” You exasperate, running a hand through your hair. You pin him with a look, “I came here to hang out with you. I… I haven’t even bothered to call anyone else because you were the first person I wanted to see. So could you stop being a dick long enough so we can go on a da….”

Jungkook raised a brow at you. The two of you had long since been toeing the line of domesticity and while you were both aware of it neither of you was willing to swallow their pride long enough to show all your cards.

Movie. Let’s go to that movie and then when we get back we can do something that you like.” You say with a teasing smile, going to straighten his the ties on his hoodie.

Jungkook sighs but lets you pull him in by his sweatshirt for another kiss, this one longer but less heated than the first. 


“God that blew.” Jungkook stretches and you roll your eyes at him.

“How would you know, you slept through the entire thing.” You snorted.

“Not the entire thing.” He smirks, throwing an arm around your shoulder.

“Right I forgot you woke up in the middle to finger me.” You scoff.

“As if you didn’t enjoy it.” He chides.

“I never said that.” You hum before shoving the popcorn at him, “Hold this, I have to pee.”

Jungkook grumbles something that sounds dangerously like an expletive and you don’t wait for him to agree, rushing to the restroom to relieve yourself.

It isn’t until your washing your hands that you remember the crumpled brown bag in your purse. Your hands flutter uselessly as you try to take it out, hoping to God that it’s not wrinkled. You grin to yourself when you find it in perfect condition.

“Would he feel put out if I got him something?” You grumble before worrying your lip between your teeth, “You’re overthinking it, ___. Its just a stupid t shirt.”

Right it was just a shirt. No big deal. Just something you saw in passing that you thought would look good on him, no big deal.

“No big deal.” You repeat to yourself before taking a last minute glance at yourself in the mirror. You looked nice… or you thought you looked nice but Jungkook hadn’t mentioned anything about your haircut other than the initial shock he sported when you were coming down the stairs.

You push back through the bathroom door, taking extra care not to touch anything after having already washed your hands, your eyes scan the room for Jungkook, letting out an annoyed huff because you told him to wait outside. You falter when you come across a broad back, his hand rubbing at the back of his neck in a familiar fashion.

“Jungkook I told you to—oh.” You hesitate at the halting laughter, whatever inside joke they were giggling about brought to an abrupt close when you draw near, “Hey.”

“Hey unnie.” she greets, hand coming up in a stiff wave, “… are you two here together…?”

Jungkook hesitates for the briefest of moments, eyes searching yours for an appropriate response. You don’t know why it annoys you so much or why you’re suddenly schooling your features into a tight grin.

“No. I, uh… we ran into each other and he was holding my stuff for me while I peed.” You lied, taking in the way the younger girls shoulders slump in relief.

“Cool.” Jennie grins, “Jungkook’s really helpful like that.”

Isn’t he?” You agree curtly, your gaze hesitates at the familiar black fabric wrapped around the girls shoulders, “Cute jacket.”

“O-oh this?” She asks before sending a shy grin Jungkook’s way, and you swear his eyes close in defeat, “He lent it to me a while ago I never did get to give it back so I was excited to see him and maybe return it but we got a little side tracked.”

You send a questioning look Jungkook’s way but he’s as silent as he had been the entire five minutes you spent having the fucking conversation.

“I’m sorry, don’t let me interrupt.” You feign apologetic, “I’ll just leave you two to it.”

Jungkook lets out an exasperated sigh but if the younger girl notices she doesn’t say anything, only smiles politely at you.

“Wait, er… what about that ride you asked me for earlier?”

He’s grasping at strings.

“It’s fine, I’ll find my own way home. Don’t worry about me.” You send a fake smile their way.

“Quit being ridiculous.” He seethes before turning back to Jennie, “Uh… it was cool seeing you or whatever but I’ve got stuff I got to handle and—shit. ____ will you wait up?”

“Jungkook!” Jennie calls.

You don’t even bother turning around, your feet are eating up concrete before you have half a mind to realize that the heavy footsteps are getting closer. No, you don’t realize that until a hand is yanking you back by the wrist.

“Will you wait a damn second?” Jungkook grits out.

You bite back the immature words that are clawing their way up your throat and feign innocence.

“Oh. Sorry. Were you calling me?” You hum, but the angry flush in your cheeks give you away and Jungkook’s narrowing his eyes at you.

“What the hell was that about?” He implores.

“What was what about?” You frown.

“I’m not in the mood for your fucking games tonight alright, would you—would you just,” he ends on a growl, “tell me what’s bothering you.”

“Nothing.” You chime, “Absolutely nothing is bothering me. If you were talking about in there when I came out and saw you talking to some random girl who you said you had nothing to do with and yet she’s wearing your hoodie then you’re wrong.”

Jungkook blinks at your for a moment.

“We’re not fucking… we’re not anything!” He groans, running a hand through his hair and trying to figure out how the hell you two ended up here.

Why you always end up here.

“Are you talking about me and you or me and Jennie?” You spit back, “Because you’re right about at least one of those things.”

You try to storm away again but he drags you back by a belt loop, bring you toe to toe with.

“We’re not anything—is that what you’re saying?” He queries and he doesn’t know why it irritates the hell out of him.

“We’re not.”

“Then why are you so fucking pissed, why are you so jealous about some random girl if we’re not anything, huh? Does any of that make sense to you?”

“I’m not jealous.” You hiss, “But if I were mad about this entire thing, which I’m not I’d tell that you I’m not fucking mad about you talking to some random girl I’m mad that you lied to me.”

“Stop fucking talking in hypotheticals!” He yells suddenly and you’re only partly aware of the fact that he’s already dragged you to the car and you’re slamming the door angrily. “When the hell did I lie to you?”

“You said you didn’t talk to her anymore but why is she wearing your jacket, are you two fucking?” You shout back and your tone has Jungkook reaching for you, hands clenching around nothing like he wanted to choke you before he was dropping his head back against the headrest.

“No I’m not fucking her!” He huffs, “I’m not fucking anyone but you and okay I admit I did lie I saw her last weekend, we’re in summer school together and the classroom was cold so I gave her my fucking sweater. I only lied for your benefit.”

“Do I look like I’m benefitting from your dumb fucking lie?” You spit, “And are you her goddamn boyfriend, let her freeze to death for all I care.”

“Well am I your boyfriend?” He demands and the car falls into utter silence around his question.

You inhale through your teeth before turning to face him, a frown marring your expression, “You’re right. You’re not my boyfriend because a stupid fucking boyfriend would at least say something about my haircut that I dumbly got for him but no you’re not my boyfriend you’re not my fucking anything.”

“What the hell are you talking about, when did I ever say anything about your hair? You look fine either way, who the fuck cares—”

I care!” You shout, “I care because I care about you and you’re stupid fucking opinion and I want to be your dumb girlfriend, okay? I don’t want to look fine either way, I want to look beautiful to you. I want you to call me for a change. I want… I want to be able to give you this stupid fucking gift without having to overthink the consequences—if I’m going to be moving us forward or back two steps and I… I like you, I like you so much that I remember things you say when you’re not paying attention like how much you liked some dumb actresses hair and so I do… I do stupid fucking things because of you.”

Your panting by the end of your confession because it was a lot, it was all the things you wanted to say, all the insecurities weighing heavy on your mind while you were away from him. And in a perfect world, Jeon Jungkook would have looked back at you and wiped your tear streaked cheeks and coo back all your rushed declarations.

But this wasn’t a perfect world and this was very much the reality of you and Jeon Jungkook.

“I… you… we said that we wouldn’t complicate things.” He says quietly, hands gripping the steering wheel, unable to meet your gaze.

All you can do is let out a bitter laugh.

“Right.”

“I think that it’s better this way,” he says lowly, “you’re going off to college and I’m probably not fucking going anywhere. It’s better if we end this now before either of us gets too invested.”

“Either of us… gets invested,” you repeat slowly before unbuckling your seat belt, “Why sugarcoat it? I’m the only one that’s invested, clearly. It was fun while it lasted right?”

Jungkook lets out an exasperated sigh when you open the truck door, “Let me at least drop you home.”

“Fuck you and enjoy your stupid fucking present. And in the very unlikely future you feel inclined to try and talk to me—don’t.” You throw the brown paper bag at him before slamming his truck door.

“____!” He calls, but you’re already jogging back to the theater. Jungkook yanks open the glove compartment and grabs his idiotic present before throwing it out the window, watching as small tubes of ridiculously priced lip gloss go flying.

I have to say though, I think my favourite part about the Thirteenth Doctor announcement is seeing how many women are now saying they are going to start watching again because 1) the Doctor is played by a woman and 2) Moffat is no longer writing the show, like…

you can really feel how much this part of the audience has been alienated through the years by how terribly terribly misogynistic the show had become in the hands of a man who wrote awful plots, cringe-worthy characters and bingo-card-worthy episodes

and now you can see how many of us are getting hopeful again that Doctor Who will go back to being the brilliant show it used to be (not perfect, but still brilliant) and how many of us are ready to jump back on the Whovian train if it means we as the audience are no longer treated like crap by the show runner

and it feels so good

Another Wednesday, another Hiveswap development team interview!

Hey there folks, we’re back to our new normal: it’s Ash here once again! I’ve returned from my brief outing to E3 last week and – don’t you worry – I’ve got a brand-new Hiveswap development team interview lined up for you today, just as scheduled!

But before we get to that, I’d like to toss a great, big “Thanks, man!” Cohen’s way for posting last week’s interview in my stead and, in fact, interviewing me so I didn’t have to very awkwardly interview myself. I may not be a super-cool artist or animator, but hopefully you all found what I had to say to be sufficiently interesting nonetheless!

But speaking of our illustrious creative types, today I’ve got an interview lined up with James Roach, Hiveswap’s sound designer and lead composer! These weekly interviews have been focusing mostly on the game’s visual elements and aspects up to now, but why should eyes get all the love? Not that eyes aren’t awesome and all, but I have it on good authority that ears everywhere are also looking forward to Hiveswap. Fortunately, James has very graciously prepared a smattering of Hiveswap sound samples for you to listen to as you read through the interview, so be sure to get equipped with some headphones before you begin!

Take it away, James!

Introduce yourself to the fans! What is your specific role on the Hiveswap team?

I’m James Roach, and I’m the Sound Designer for Hiveswap! I teamed up with [Undertale creator and composer] Toby Fox to compose the soundtrack for the game. I’m also responsible for most of the game’s sound effects and ambient sound alongside Marcy Nabors!

When and how did you get your start on the Hiveswap project?

When I saw the opportunity I reached out to What Pumpkin and sent along my portfolio. I was never part of the “Homestuck music team” in any official capacity, but I was pretty active in the community, so they knew of my work. I was as surprised as any of you when they offered me a job! They paired me up with Toby, who at that point was already a Homestuck music veteran. We’ve both been on the project ever since then.

Tell us a little bit about your career background! How did you get your start in music and sound design? Do you have any advice for others looking to enter this field?

I have been playing piano since I was about four years old. My family and culture have a strong musical tradition, and my mom thought playing music would keep me out of trouble. I got my start scoring web cartoons and doing freelance work. I only started doing sound design in the last few years out of necessity. A friend needed sound work done for their thesis film and had nobody else to do it, and I can’t leave a friend hanging! As far as advice goes, I recommend having your work accessible and easy to find. Make connections and be easy to work with. Being reliable, consistent, and professional will go a lot further than solely being good at something.

We’re making a video game, so of course the question must be asked: what’s your favorite game of all time, and what games are you playing currently?

The first game I remember having a big impact on me was The Legend of Zelda on the NES. My favorite game of all time is probably Bastion, but I don’t play a ton of video games anymore. I play a lot of Dungeons & Dragons. It’s all I ever talk about. My friends are so tired of me. Anyway, did you know a group of Myconids is called a “Circle?” Myconids are like cool mushroom guys that live underground. A lot of people think they might have a hive mind, but did you know they communicate using spores? Another cool thing about Myconids is–

Are there any games that you currently use or have used as inspiration for your own music and sound work here on Hiveswap, or just in general?

Obvious notes are stuff like Transistor, Luigi’s Mansion, Monkey Island, and so on and so forth. A lot of the inspiration for Hiveswap’s soundtrack comes less from games and more from my own musical and cultural background. There’s also a third-wave ska song. I have a really complicated relationship with ska.

As someone who writes music for video games, surely you must have a favorite video game composer or two (or three)! Who are they and what games have they scored?

You can’t talk about video game music without mentioning Nobuo Uematsu (the Final Fantasy series’ original composer) in some capacity, and his work has always been an inspiration to me. I think there’s an obvious Darren Korb (Supergiant Games) influence on my work as well. I’m really looking forward to hearing more of the Pyre soundtrack. I don’t know if I’m allowed to say that Toby has greatly influenced my work, since I worked with him specifically on this, but he absolutely has. The way he writes counter-melodies is phenomenal.

What’s your workstation like? Do you listen to any particular kinds of music while you work? If so, tell us about it!

Because I’ve been doing a lot of Foley work, I have this bizarre assortment of things lying around everywhere in my apartment for the weird, specific sounds they make. I’ve had this bundle of straws (which I flick rapidly to make monster footstep sounds) on my desk for weeks. There’s a broken umbrella (perfect for a monster’s wing flapping) hanging on the door, and a big pot with a fork and a broken slinky in it (scraped and slapped together to make creepy, echoey laser sounds) just lying around too. It’s a disaster to live in.

Favorite Homestuck character?

Aradia Megido.

Favorite Homestuck ship?

I used to be all about Intermission shipping, but it’s a little complicated to get into.

Favorite Homestuck flash?

I think like most people who started reading as a carryover from Problem Sleuth, “WV: Ascend” was the big “Whoa!” moment for me, so it’s always had a special place in my heart.

Do you have a personal message you’d like to relay to all the Homestuck and Hiveswap fans out there?

Hey.

Where can people find more of your work? Link us to your own little corner(s) of the Internet!

Whenever you close your eyes and open your heart… I will be there. No, I’m kidding – please follow me. You can find me on Twitter and SoundCloud!



“Can’t hoooold on much longer… But I will neeee-ver let go!…” –oh, wait, I’m back on? Sorry about that, James’ last answer there brought out my inner Crush 40 fanboy. (Sonic Adventure had a killer soundtrack though, didn’t it?) Thank you again for letting us pick your brain for a while, James – and for those lovely sound samples, of course!

SNK Character Song Series 06: Levi (Image song & monologue translations)

Heeeyyy, Tumblr! Long time, no see :’) Did y'all enjoy SNK Season 2?

Levi and Erwin’s image song CDs were just released and I enjoyed listening to them a lot! ♡ So, I decided to pop back in for a bit and take on a new translation endeavor, something I haven’t really done in a while.

First up, this post is Levi’s image song and monologue! For the song, I included the original Japanese as well as romaji for karaoke purposes, if you’re so inclined ;) I also made a transcript of the monologue in the original Japanese, which you can read here (feel free to use it to translate into other languages.)

This should be obvious but keep in mind these are spoilers for the song & monologue, in case you wanted to experience them for yourself first. I definitely encourage supporting the official release & ordering the CDs if you haven’t already ♡

I’m also nearly finished with my translation of Erwin’s song and monologue as well, I’ll update this post with a link once it’s done ♡ ETA: Here is the translation of Erwin’s song and monologue!

SHINGEKI NO KYOJIN CHARACTER SONG SERIES 06: Levi

“Dark Side Of The Moon” (Vocals by Hiroshi Kamiya)

Side note: the melody for Levi’s song is based on the previously released SNK single, Reluctant Heroes.

Japanese Version

こんな世界を今
逆さにして振ってみても
確かなことひとつ
出てきやしねぇ¹だろう?

壁の外は地獄
中は欺瞞溢れてる
それも併せ呑んで
任務を果たすだけ

感情流され死神喰われるか
足りない頭を回してみるか

※光当たらぬ月の裏
突き進むためには
もっと速く時には
躊躇なき非情さを
間違いじゃないやりたきゃやれ
ここに答えなんてない
ただ後悔残さぬ
自らの決断を

ここで生き抜くなら
言葉でする教育より
痛みの記憶説く
教訓が必要だろう?

犠牲も危険も避けては
成果など
得られぬものだと
腹を括れよ

隠されている月の裏
いつか暴くために
乱されるな喚くな
状況を見極めろ
結果がなきゃ正解もない
だから最後だけは
ただ後悔残さぬ
自らの生き方を

背後で散った勇敢な兵士たちが
遺した想い力を与える
必ずいつの日にか目障りな
壁も壊し
自由になる為この命捧ぐ

※ Repeat

Romaji Version

Konna sekai wo ima
Sakasa ni shite futte mitemo
Tashika na koto hitotsu
Detekiyashinē¹ darō?

Kabe no soto wa jigoku
Naka wa giman afureteru
Sore mo awase nonde
Ninmu wo hatasu dake

Kanjō nagasare shinigami kuwareru ka
Tarinai atama wo mawashite miru ka

※Hikari ataranu tsuki no ura
Tsukisusumu tame ni wa
Motto hayaku toki ni wa
Chūcho naki hijōsa wo
Machigai ja nai yaritakya yare
Koko ni kotae nante nai
Tada kōkai nokosanu
Mizukara no ketsudan wo

Koko de ikinuku nara
Kotoba de suru kyōiku yori
Itami no kioku toku
Kyōkun ga hitsuyō darō?

Gisei mo kiken mo sakete wa
Seika nado
Erarenu mono da to
Hara wo kukure yo

Kakusarete iru tsuki no ura
Itsuka abaku tame ni
Midasareru na wameku na
Jōkyō wo mikiwamero
Kekka ga nakya seikai mo nai
Dakara saigo dake wa
Tada kōkai nokosanu
Mizukara no ikikata wo

Haigo de chitta yūkan na heishi tachi ga
Nokoshita omoi chikara wo ataeru
Kanarazu itsu no hi ni ka mezawari na
Kabe mo kowashi
Jiyū ni naru tame kono inochi sasagu

※ Repeat

English Translation

This kind of world now
Even if we try shaking it upside down
There isn’t one thing that comes out
Which is certain, is there?

Outside the walls, it is hell
Inside, it is brimming with deceit
What’s more, we have to swallow it down
We can only fulfill our duty

Will we lose control of emotion and be consumed by a god of death?
Or will we try to use our dim-witted heads?

The dark side of the moon, untouched by light
For the sake of pushing forward
We have to be faster and at times
Be heartless without hesitation
It’s not a mistake if it’s what you want to do, so do it
There are no right answers here
Just being without regrets
Is my own decision

If were to I survive here
Rather than education with words
Isn’t persuasion by memories of pain
An essential lesson?

To avert sacrifice as well as danger
Things like results
Cannot be obtained
Steel yourself for it

The dark side of the moon is concealed
For the sake of someday being revealed
Do not get agitated, do not scream
Be certain of the circumstances
Without results, there are no right answers
Therefore only in the end
Just being without regrets
Is my way of living

Brave soldiers who died noble deaths² before us
The hopes they left behind give us power
Without fail, one of these days
We will demolish the obstructive walls as well
For the sake of freedom, we devote this life

Translation notes:

¹ It appears that Levi’s gruff style of speaking is present even in the lyrics of his song. The standard form of the verb here would be detekiyashinai (出てきやしない).
² The verb in the original Japanese, chiru/散る (or in this case, the past tense form chitta/散った) in the literal sense means “to fall” (in the context of leaves or blossoms from a tree). However, it also has the figurative meaning of “to die a noble death”. Even though we also say “fallen soldiers” in English, I worried that translating the lyric as, “fallen before us” or “fallen behind us” could both be misinterpreted, I decided to go with the more figurative meaning;;

++

Levi Monologue English Translation

Seriously now, I’ve had enough of this. This world is perpetual shit, and humanity is still toothless prey.

Those ugly titans are always going to take a bite out of us, and so we die a meaningless death.

Humanity is powerless.

When we won against the titans for the first time, the time when we sealed the wall in Trost district with a boulder, we could do it because of Eren’s power– a titan’s power.

The weak ones die quickly. How much power they use up doesn’t matter.

Eventually all of humanity, every single person will end up in the stinking maw of a titan, and while we experience the worst feeling there is, perhaps our miserable lives will end.

I realized it a few years ago. The stench of the gutters fills the inside of these walls. It’s been like this for over 100 years. It’s the way things are now.

Because I’ve had to breathe in this foul air ever since I was born, because I had no choice but to live crawling around in piles of trash, I thought that it was normal.

But when I went outside the walls for the first time, I realized how much I didn’t know about anything. It hit home for me, how much I had hated it.

The world outside the walls was like hell with titans wandering around, but the air I breathed there was completely different from the one inside the walls.

I realized, out there is what freedom is.

Freedom is something that absolutely cannot be obtained within the walls.

So I made a choice. I will continue to kill all of the titans.

If you want to confront the titans, information is never enough. So in order to survive, I learned how to live.

Quick action and callous decisions by assuming the worst is a necessary endeavor.

A moment’s hesitation, surrendering yourself to emotions, and you will be nothing but Titan bait.

If you don’t want to die, you have to always continue to keep this in mind.

And small choices will accumulate.

That is the way of living I have learned.

Risking no danger, making no sacrifices– there is no such easy discussion.

Even if there was, it’s all make-believe.

So far, I have lost numerous subordinates.

Whether my choice was correct at those times, I do not know. It’s always been like that.

Even if I believe in my own power, even if I believe in my comrades whom I fully trust, none of us will know the outcome.

Afterward, all that’s left is reality.

In that case, What can I do except make a desperate effort?

What can I do except doggedly press on?

If I have time to think about the bygone past, like if I were to have made a different choice back then, I will kill as many titans as possible within my power.

In that time, in that moment, a sudden, ridiculously strong power boils up from inside my body, and then I know what to do.

When that moment comes, I can no longer go back to my old self.

With these blood-stained hands, I accept my new self, I steel myself, and I only do what I must.

Was I correct? Or did I make a mistake? That’s the sort of thing no one knows, so it’s not worth worrying about.

All you can do is keep your mouth shut and make a choice without regrets.

Not understanding things about this world is true for everyone.

So I choose the guy whom I want to put my faith in.

Erwin is like that, too. No one knows what he is really thinking deep down.

But I trust his judgement.

He may be inviting the worst outcome, but he’s not afraid of that, he is able to choose something. That’s the kind of guy he is.

That’s why I chose to follow him. And I chose to fight.

In order to fight against this shit world, with this hand I’ll grab hold of the freedom of going beyond the walls for the first time.

I have chosen for myself.

Even if I am led into hell, I have no regrets.

Not one bit.

Hey Voltron Fandom, what the fuck?

I’m going to get straight to the point, you guys are self-destructive and are going to kill the fandom over your petty arguments and stupid self-entitlement. There hasn’t been a day since the beginning of the fandom that everything has just been peaceful for once (and I’ve been here since it’s birth) You all should be ashamed of yourselves, fighting online and hurting real people over fiction (this is not specifically towards ships btw) And I’m putting my foot down at all of this bullshit and trying to stop it

This is pretty lengthy so everything is under the cut

Keep reading

Spider-Man Homecoming: Peter’s age and why I think that impacts the film greatly

Peter Parker is fifteen in this movie. He’s a sophomore in high school. And it shows. This isn’t like when an thirty year old or a person in their late twenties plays a high-schooler and its obvious, Tom Holland (though not 15) looks young. He sounds young. And Holland acts the age he is supposed to portray perfectly. Peter is fifteen. And to many people who will see this movie that doesn’t feel young, I know, but I’m barely 20 and already it feels terribly young to me. Not in a condescending way, I hope, but I look at him and see how much growing he has to do. Peter even says in the film he’s not even worried about college yet. He’s not even a junior. Peter is really young. And I think that’s important.

In a lot of superhero properties they try and downplay the severity of the child hero thing, for obvious reasons, what worked in the 50s and 60s comics doesn’t work as well now. And some of that is here. Tony Stark never tells Peter to stop until things go too far for him, when most real world adults in this age would end his heroing instantly, and taking Peter to Berlin was kinda… yeah bad on Tony’s part, even though he believed that Cap and his team would never really hurt anyone of them. In some aspects we are supposed to use our suspension of disbelief and wave away some of our concerns about Peter Parker’s age. 

And in some ways, no, the movie addresses this. Or at least acknowledges it. And I think that helps and elevates the film. 

Making the audience aware of Peter’s youth increases the tension tenfold. 

Many people have talked about how they have superhero movie fatigue. And I get it, to some extent, specifically in Marvel. Age of Ultron-post I have felt just a little disconnected. And I think it has to do with stakes. The villains are typically STRONG, the plots are WORLD ENDING, and the heroes are INVINCIBLE. And that’s how the first movies were, but now we’ve seen it so many times that I don’t believe anyone can hurt the Avengers. I’ve seen the avengers go through buildings, concrete, and portals. I’ve seen them get smashed to bits and stand back up, I’ve seen them at their lowest and know they will always be okay. Until someone actually dies (which a morbid part hopes will happen in Infinity War) the stakes are no longer there. To me, it seems like they will always get back up.

But Spiderman is different. He’s fifteen. And though I logically know he’s super strong and more invulnerable than normal humans, he is fifteen. He shouldn’t be out there!- my mind screams. But I know he has to be, for himself. They explained his motivations so well in Civil War I have to root for him now. I understand how Tony go sucked in to his enthusiasm and goodness because I am. So I don’t want him to stop. But every time some threw Peter down, or into a wall I gasped. I threw my hand over my mouth like a little old lady and went “oh no”. I was an emotional wreck in the theatre, constantly whispering and reacting and emoting. I promise that’s not normal for me.

Without spoilers, there is one scene where Peter hits his lowest. He is suit-less (that was in the trailers) and he’s beaten up and trapped. And he fights. Captain America, Iron Man, even Hawkeye and Black Widow, I know can get out of there. They are seasoned, strong, greater than I can ever be. But Peter is a highs school kid trying to balance after school activities and taking spanish and going to the dance and I was that kid. I remember being vulnerable in that way, if not physically but emotionally. And Peter fights through it, even when I wasn’t sure he could. Every time he got hurt I thought ‘is Iron Man going to show up?’ I wanted Tony to show up to help this poor child, even if I knew from a screenwriting standpoint Peter had to save himself. But because, emotionally, I wan’t sure Peter could do it alone it made everything so much more rewarding when he could. 

Throughout this movie, when Peter messes up I understand, he has so much learning to do. When he losses I understand, he isn’t as experienced as the bad guy. When he gets mopey, sad, or indignant, I understand because he’s a teenager of course he’s angsty. I am willing to to forgive and empathize with Peter instantly for things I would not be so lenient with adults about. Though I adored Civil War, I rolled my eyes at almost everyone in that movie at least once. There was a better, more adult way to confront this. But Peter is not expected to behave adult-like or maturely, at least not from me. He’s just trying to help and he can make mistakes along the way. 

Peter’s youth and inexperience and vulnerability reinvested me in a world where logically I know he can never lose. But because the adults in this movie acknowledged that this was a kid, because the movie took time to experience school and what Peter should be doing instead of running around in tights, because Holland showed that beneath that innate goodness and strength, Peter’s still immature, I felt for this kid. This young kid trying his best touched a point of empathy with me these movies about Gods hadn’t touched in a while. And I think that’s beautiful. And I think it’s important.

There’s only so much you can do to help someone you care about and sometimes, for your own good, you have to take a step back.
All the love, compassion and understanding in the world can only go so far, because ultimately you can’t take someone’s pain away… I wish you could but it’s just not possible. The best you can do is let them know that you care and keep enough of an emotional connection that they can reach out to you when they need you – but not so close that you risk getting dragged under with them… Because someone like that is going to need your strength, so don’t absorb so much of their sadness that you can no longer be of help…
Taking on somebody else’s sadness doesn’t take it away from them; it just adds a burden to you and weighs you down. Love them, care for them, listen to them, be there for them… but always take time for yourself to clear your mind and reflect on the positives in your life to put things back in perspective.
Don’t feel guilty – it’s not selfish or uncaring to put their problems aside for a while… it doesn’t mean you love them any less… It is simply you taking time to reset yourself so you can maintain your positivity and your strength to support them better. You’re not invulnerable; especially when it comes to someone you care about, so remember to step back a little when it’s getting too much… after all, you can’t save someone who’s drowning if you’re not strong enough to swim.