i can give you...the glory...of your becoming

Sometimes the sun shines in just the right way. And it feels as though you are checking up on me. It feels like a reminder that for one perfect moment I felt sure in who I was and who I loved. There’s a moment when the sky bursts into beauty. When colors alight the view from this bullet riddled, firestorm of a planet and I feel like the universe is trying to tell me that I can be okay, that you’ll come back to me. That the constellations will still chart the story of us and that it will not be tragedy.

That I’ll be able to feel your skin against mine, to trace your lips with my eyes and to stand by your side and feel like a conqueror instead of just a lost soul. Instead of someone who pleads with the stars to send me a shooting one because now I know exactly what I’d wish for. Now I know that the universe has formed us into a magnet and we won’t, can’t, be separated forever.

I’m sure it’s safer by your side. I’m sure that I’ll feel stronger with your hand brushing mine, I’m sure the colors seem more vibrant when I’m hearing your voice speak my name. I’m sure that I’ll see you again. I see your echoes now already because you have infected me and transformed me and given me hope.

Hope that burns within me beyond the fire, hope that can never die as long as I am able to conjure up your voice in my mind. I never dreamed I’d be shipwrecked. I never dreamed I’d be scarred. I never dreamed that darkness would taint me. But it has. It did. But the minute you stormed into my life, the minute you showed up, a spark ignited in me.

You brought me back to life.

And even though that life has been shaken and tortured and I have ripped myself apart a thousand over, that spark never died because you believed in me. You had faith in me when I felt I was nothing and I will return that faith until the sun stops rising, I will return that unshakeable, unbreakable, utterly remarkable gift you have given me with your touch, your eyes, your words, your heart and I will bestow upon you the universe in all it’s glory and still it wouldn’t be enough. I can never thank you, not completely, for your belief and your trust in me but everyday I will try to give you a measure of what you have given since we first became partners, bound in blood but more than that bound by love.

So I hope that you’re looking at the stars, wishing on the same ones and I hope that one day I can kiss you as the colors fade. As the sky become streaked with golden light and magnified in rusty pinks and soft oranges and you and I dance without the shadows pulling on our skin. And you and I whisper the words we were always afraid to say and maybe as the night dawns, we’ll be able to shake the shivers and take what we’ve always wanted.

         - Sunlight Love by Abby S

Delphic Maxim #3

Worship the Gods

This one is a bit straightforward yet vague at the same time. Notice it doesn’t specify how to worship them, what to do, what to say, but just TO worship them. In my view worship is just acknowledging, celebrating and being grateful for their influence in your life. That can mean trying to have a consistent schedule of worship, dedicating a great deal of your life to them or just merely once in a while going “wow, these beings actually hold power over me.”

You can always give offerings, it’s greatly encouraged, but not required. If you can, you should. If you can’t, praying is good. Anything can become an offering, not just physical things. Work, time, service, thoughts, prayers, art, etc. Anything you can do, make, obtain or sacrifice (and by that I mean just willingly give it up, not killing) for them, then you should. But not to over stretch your means.

Glory to the Gods.


Commander 2015 Rap Battle

Yo, you better not blink
‘Cause here comes the fury
From the Claw of Progress
You can call me Ezuri
Once a renegade leader
In the Phyrexian war
Now I have been perfected
And become so much more

If you’re weak or you’re meek
But it’s glory you seek
Follow me and you’ll see
I can set you all free
From your flaws and your laws
That right now give you pause
So emerge from the purge
And your new strength will surge

You might think me a traitor
I don’t see it that way
I’ve just now seen the truth
Of the price we must pay
Your past life is a blemish
That you must rip away
If you hope to survive
In this glorius day

There are others right now
Who would seek to command
If they reach out to you
Then just bite off their hand
'Cause they’ll just hold you back
From the strength you possess
So come follow Ezuri
I’ll lead you to success 

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*ding dong*....fuck....

Characters: Sandi (that’s me!), Dean, Sam, Castiel, Crowley, Rowena

Summary: The Winchesters travel to our Universe seeking my aid in a hunt…oh boy.

Prompts: Use the provided paragraph for the #Not An April Fool’s Joke Challenge for @mrswhozeewhatsis to start your fic and you MUST use yourself instead of OFC/Reader insert, warts and all.

Word count: 3,160

Warnings: Some angst, fear, uncertainty, me being weird and awkward…

A/N: #Not An April Fool’s Joke Challenge, @mrswhozeewhatsis. Thanks to my beta, @leatherwhiskeycoffeeplaid, for putting up with my word-vomit. I swear that I’ve NEVER written so much about myself before….and probably never will again! 

*GIFs not mine*  

*Bold and in Italics is the challenge prompt*

Your doorbell rings and when you answer it, Sam and Dean Winchester are standing there in all their denim-wrapped glory. Sam gives you the most effective set of puppy-dog eyes you’ve ever seen and says, “Sandi, thank God you’re home. We need you.” They are not actually Jared and Jensen sent by your friend as an April Fool’s Joke, they really are Sam and Dean Winchester, and they really need your help to save their hunt.

“What the actual fuck?! Why are you real and on my doorstep? And how the hell can I help you?” I yell in a panic-filled voice as my breathing becomes irregular and I start to hyperventilate. Dean pushes me into the living room while Sam scouts one last time outside before deadbolting the door and joining me and Dean on the couch. Dean is trying, and failing spectacularly, to calm me down but the combination of their unique smell of gunpowder, Old Spice, and leather plus their soft touches of reassurance and hopeful gazes freak me out even more.

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"And I can hope for it."

I’ve always believed that if marriage was in God’s will for me, He would make it happen.

After 24 years and never once saying yes to a date or being in a relationship with any man I’ve ever met, it would be easy to think I’m destined to be ‘forever alone’. Honestly.

My view has always been that God knows what is best for me. I should surrender and trust God with it, and continue being found faithful in how I live unto Him. If anything changes, it is because of God, and it’s for His glory.

At the same time, I’ve always had the desire to marry, to be a mother and have a family.

There’s been such a conflict in my mind about how I should handle that. If I have this desire, but it’s ultimately all up to Him if it happens or not, what do I do?

In recent years, I felt like I had to give it up completely- not just surrender it and wait and see what He does, but I should be willing to live single the rest of my life if that was His will.

Lately, God has been taking away that idea. It wasn’t from Him or something He asked of me; it was a mentality I developed that I think helped me become content with singleness while having such a strong desire for marriage and a family. That to surrender a desire, you have to let go of it completely, when you know it is from good and from God. But that is to give up hope. Hebrews 11:1 says “Faith the substance of things hoped for”. So if I give up hope, how can I have faith? I say I trust God, that I believe God as my good Father desires and chooses what is best for me and for His glory. And isn’t trust another word for putting your faith in someone? I trust God, so I am putting my faith in Him. That requires hope. To let go of my hope is to lose faith. It leaves it incomplete.

Part of this idea of giving up singleness came from another belief I have. I believe marriage is a gift and a blessing from God. So, if is a gift, it’s not something I could demand or require. Who am I to say? That’s completely in God’s hands. That’s up to His will.

I still believe that. But this is the difference: you can still receive a gift and allow it to be a gift from God without acting like it’s a right to be given it. Yes, it’s a gift. What do you do with gifts? You receive them with gratitude. You don’t give up faith God won’t ever give it to you. He’s a good Father who loves to give good gifts. He also knows the timing of when is best to give certain gifts. You don’t give a boy car keys. You give him a toy car. You wait until He is mature and faithful with the small gifts until he’s prepared to be responsible with more. You’d wait until a car would have purpose in His life before you give it. In the same way, I think God provides in His grace and generosity the relationships we need in His timing and way.

So the difference is not that I remove the desire or give it up completely. It’s that I submit it to God’s will above my own, and I rest it in His care.

Part of what made me reconsider that I shouldn’t believe I could be single for the rest of my life, and to have faith, is that my desire for marriage and a family is actually from God and there for a purpose.

Another part of what made me reconsider was when I began looking at how my view of marriage lines up with God’s; it’s biblical. My ideas of love align with what He says it should look like. When I think of having a husband, it’s actually motivated by the Spirit and not my flesh. God has taken years to purify, sanctify, teach and show me what it’s about, and as He has, the desire has actually grown stronger.

I also see ways God has been preparing me my whole life to be a wife and mother, and how He has placed older women in my life who have mentored me, instructed me, poured wisdom into me about it, and have prayed for him consistently for years. I’ve prayed for him a long time, too (up until the last year when I began to surrender the hope of it). If they believe that strongly that God placed that desire in my heart and believe for it, how could I doubt or deny it myself?

The last part that kind of sealed it was that usually those who are called to commit to a life of singleness –like the Apostle Paul- are celibate. It is a gift from God just as much as marriage is; it is a grace you receive. It simply is that you have no or little physical/sexual desire to be intimate with the other gender. I know for sure I do not have that gift or grace; I have a strong desire for that someday. There’s nothing shameful or dirty about that; it’s also a good desire from God and I know that He gave it to me in the context of a covenant relationship with my husband and to raise a family. We’ve perverted the idea of sexual intercourse to the point that usually we immediately think of it as a thing of lust and flesh instead of a beautiful, intimate part of coming together and being one between a husband and wife.

When I look at the Bible and see how God brought together Adam and Eve, Jacob and Rachel, David and Abigail, Isaac and Rebekah, Aquila and Priscilla, each one He used for His kingdom and purposes. It was for a greater good beyond their own two lives. Ultimately, it was for His glory and to accomplish His work through His children.

I have a lot more thoughts on this, but I think Amy Carmichael sums it up perfectly:

“It is a safe thing to trust Him to fulfill the desires which He creates.”

Once you recognize that a desire is from God, you don’t have to give up the hope of it completely to trust Him. It can stay alive.

What I will do my whole life still remains the same, regardless of my relationship status. I will love the Lord with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength. I will seek to know Christ more, be conformed to His image, grow, and mature. I will overflow His love to others and serve. I will be faithful. I will live for the kingdom and continue to surrender and submit to God’s will with joy. I will find my delight and satisfaction in God.

If God knows I can do this best single, let me be single. If God knows I can do this best married, I have faith that day will come.

And I can hope for it.

bramblemancer  asked:

Hi! I found your blog because of a shared interest in hexagons. I recently came to understand the glory of the polygon myself, but I don't understand why I've become so infatuated with them. Would you be willing to give me some of your reasons for liking them so much?

This is possible the best completely out-of-the-blue asks I’ve EVER GOTTEN.

First of all, hello! Welcome to the hexagon fandom! 

One thing I love is that regular hexagons can tile the plane with no gaps. I love that they occur in nature, in beehives and snowflakes. And the GIANT’S CAUSEWAY. And the reason they occur in nature is they are SUPER efficient. Per Wikipedia: In a hexagonal grid each line is as short as it can possibly be if a large area is to be filled with the fewest number of hexagons. This means that honeycombs require less wax to construct and gain lots of strength under compression

They absolutely meet the criterion of being both decorative and useful; William Morris would definitely approve. They also have a scientific/futuristic connotation, and I’m fascinated by science, even if I don’t understand much of it. (Also, my husband has worked on the James Webb Space Telescope, which is comprised of 18 hexagonal mirrors … and is super cool.)

But there is a big part of it that I don’t understand. Why be super into a shape? Why get excited when you see a six sided figure? Why get disappointed and annoyed at octagons (which I totally do)? It’s a little silly, but they make me happy!

Hexagon fandom, feel free to chime in with reasons to love ‘em!

So can you

While Bruce Lee was an exceptional martial artist, the one thing that made him special was not that he could kick you a distance of 15 feet, it was not that he could do push ups with just two fingers, it was not that he could generate that much power from so close, it was not his speed, in fact, it had nothing to do with what he was or what he could do… what made him special was his dedication to his training and to the  task of becoming better each day. He was relentless in what he did, nothing more. If we could only admire and look up to him for only one reason, I believe this one should be that one reason, his indestructible persistence in the search for the perfection of his art.

If you think about it, anyone has the potential to become like he was, but most lack that trait. That unquenchable desire.

He wasn’t the only one either. There were many like him, before him, during his time and today. There have always been people like him, in different arts, in different trades, but they shared that one thing: dedication without limits.

Just think about it, and let it sink in.

He became so huge, not because he was better than anyone else, but rather, because he represented what anyone can become if only we dedicate ourselves truly and fully, to our chosen path, no matter what that is, martial arts, sports, work, family, anything at all. He talked about it all the time, too.

One example that I can give you off the top of my head is (from one of his movies) “It’s like a finger pointing at the moon. Don’t concentrate on the finger or you will miss all that heavenly glory.” or one of his most famous ones “If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else. It will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them.”

He clearly states what I’m talking about on this one, too “I fear not the man who has practiced ten thousand kicks once, but I fear the man who has practiced one kick ten thousand times.”

He always went back, in more ways than one, to the same thing: DedicationFull expression of yourself into what you do.

With that mind set, he would have been just as big of a person if he had gone into anything other than martial arts, and so can anyone else… so can you.