i can be there in three hours

Dream Daddy: A Dad Dating Simulator Sentence Starters

  • “Betrayed by my own butt yet again.”
  • “Can you explain memes to me?”
  • “Contrary to popular belief, penguins are… birds.”
  • “Did you think I was gonna stab you just now?”
  • “Don’t cry. Don’t cry. I swear to god if you cry again.”
  • “Don’t write checks your dick can’t cash.”
  • “Here’s to bad decisions and relaxed moral values.”
  • “How’s the…… jeeeeeeeeeesus?”
  • “I am a happy little cheese monster.”
  • “I am spinning a web of lies that I fear will one day consume me.”
  • “I don’t want your stupid fruit leather.”
  • “I have to get a solid two to three hours of brooding in per day. Filling quotas.”
  • “It’s called ‘string cheese’ and not ‘chompy cheese’ for a reason.”
  • “I’ll probably end up standing uncomfortably in the corner with a plate of food and hope that nobody talks to me.”
  • “I’m so many levels of irony deep I’ve forgotten what humour is.”
  • “I’m suddenly struck with the overwhelming need to crawl back into bed.”
  • “Mothman is bullshit.”
  • “My ultimate sexual fantasy is sleeping in on a Saturday.”
  • “OH SHIT THAT’S A KNIFE.”
  • “See you in class… bitch.”
  • “Sharks are tight.”
  • “So, you ever kill a man?”
  • “Stop being so desperate to please your hot friend.”
  • “That… that is a good butt.”
  • “The key to being cool is acting like you don’t care about anything but actually care very deeply about everything to the point where it’s debilitating.”
  • “This ice cream cake is my new boyfriend.”
  • “This is where I come to masturbate.”
  • “Wait, I’m a wreck.”
  • “WHAT HAVE YOU DONE.”
  • “You can never be too careful. See that baby in that stroller over there? Government operative.”
  • “Your face… is… good.”
  • “Your unending thirst will be your ultimate downfall.”

signs my Mania™ is coming out to play:

• working out a lot
• like a lot
• like for three hours straight and i’m still not tired
• food? idk her and i don’t need her
• sleep? idk her and i don’t need her
• everything is funny
• catch me laughing so much i asphyxiate myself
• can’t sit still
• why am i talking so much
• i need to do everything
• getting very agitated at everyone because they all MOVE SO SLOW
• cutting everyone out of my life seems like a good idea! i don’t need anyone!
• clarity. except it’s not actual clarity and i’m just delusional
• but don’t try to tell me i’m delusional because you’re wrong and i’ll hit you
• really loving the idea of getting in a fist fight or like. shoving drugs up my ass
• shoplifting is a good idea. so is trying to reorganize my room and then getting bored halfway through
• there are clothes everywhere now
• dance break
• IM GOD
• i invented six useless things in the space of ten minutes
• god i’m being stalked again and the government is watching me
• quit 👏🏻 planting 👏🏻 thoughts 👏🏻 in 👏🏻 my 👏🏻 head 👏🏻
• i’ve ascended to another plane of reality and god im a spiritually advanced bitch
• THERES BUGS ON ME oh nevermind haha
• i think i just wrote the first chapter of a novel in the time it took me to pee
• i NEED TO BE RUNNING AND DANCING AND YELLING AND HAVING MY NOSE BE BLEEDING AND BE IN LOVE AND DRIVE OFF A CLIFF TO SEE IF I CAN DIE
• nobody… is real…. just me
• it’s like 3 am but i need to cook an elaborate meal and it’s really important
• if you look at me wrong i’m gonna drop kick u
• angry outbursts??
• SENSITIVE. HEARING. and sensory overload
• i’m gonna fight a random stranger for brushing past me and not saying sorry
• HHHHHHHHHHHHH FOCK

The College Years - Freshman Year (Chapter 7) - Stiles Stilinski

Author: @were-cheetah-stiles

Title: “The Third Patrol”

Characters: Stiles Stilinski & Reader

Warnings: Fluff, cursing.

Author’s Note: Ignore the issues with the timeline and just go with it.

Summary: Stiles and Y/N go on your third patrol where you two discuss her being a witch and you both finally run into some vampires.

Originally posted by bloggergirl29


“So how do you become a witch? Are you born one or does something happen to make you one?” Stiles asked as you both sat in his infamous battered up, blue Jeep, watching the front door of the building that one of the alleged vampires had walked into the hour before, while the last group was on patrol.

“I was born one, but sometimes you can be made one later in life. It’s all kind of a long story..” You explained.

“I mean, we’ve got three more hours of this until the sun comes up…” Stiles prodded.

You laughed quietly. “Right.. Well, the gift is inherited… I guess would be the best way to describe it. I got it from my Grandfather on my Dad’s side.. and there are rules about how you receive it.”

“What are those?” Stiles inquired.

“My grandpa Jack, he died during open heart surgery, on the operating table on May 12th, 1979, at 7:31PM. I was born May 12th, 1992, at 7:31PM…”

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anonymous asked:

I haven't even acknowledged Magic for at least three months. Have I missed anything good gameplay wise?

I actually haven’t had a chance to play with any of the new Hour of Devastation cards myself, so I can’t really comment on what’s “good gameplay wise.” 

And regarding the story and the people of Amonkhet… uh… it’s… y’know not much has really happened there. 

Yeah, nope, nothing really worth noting. Y’know, gods… Hekma… Luxa River filled with drinkable water… all pretty much… hunky dory… 

IN FACT!! I even got this totally legit notification about Amonkhet just now! Check it out!

mrmysteriousmoo  asked:

1, 3 12, 13, for the crit role ask thing

(Couple of these have other answers in my meme tag.)

1. Which episode is your favorite? Why?

It’s still episode 52: The Kill Box, because holy cow it’s good. I can’t really recommend it to new viewers because it’s just literally a three-hour D&D slugfest, most of which is spent out of character and doing math, but the slow-building tension (at some point I’ve gotta make a gifset of all the times people said things like “I can feel my heartbeat in my face”) and the off-the-wall ideas and the high stakes were so great, and I don’t know that the team has ever felt more like a team. It was equal parts Vox Machina trying to pull through a very bad situation and the cast of Critical Role trying to outwit Matthew Mercer. And for all the ingenious strategies and lucky breaks, it still all turned on a couple of out-of-this-world lucky dice rolls. Just a perfect example of what D&D combat can be, balanced impossibly well for a party this big. So, so good.

3. Who is your favorite main player character?

This is gonna sound like a cop-out, but I really can’t pick! Honestly, any one of these characters dropped into another show would pretty much be guaranteed to be my absolute favorite character in that show. They’re all so good.

12. Name a moment that’s stuck with you. 

Pike staring across the breakfast table at Garmelie (later revealed to be a friggin’ archfey) while playing a very off-key rendition of Hot Cross Buns on the ocarina she stole from him. Also, Pike commissioning Garmelie to draw the worst/best family portrait ever.

13. Has Critical Role ever made you cry? When?

The end of episode 68 was such a knock-down-drag-out fight, with the nightmarish experience of all the baddies pretty much focusing their fire on a single person, and I’m not sure the sense of exhaustion in a battle has ever come across as well as it did when Keyleth was pulled back from the brink of death herself and just reached over to try and keep Percy breathing with healing spells. And that ending… it’s easy to get emotional when the players are barely keeping it together.

Day 2: Sheith Positivity Week 2017

Rated T. Written for Day 2 of Sheith Positivity Week 2017: Sun/Stars. I managed two out of seven, we’ll see if I can make it three…

Keith/Shiro, unspecified future time, established relationship


Silver Pepper

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He tries, he really does, but after nearly an hour of listening to either self-important dignitaries pontificate about alliances or racist self-important dignitaries sneer about the Galra (not having heard yet that one of the Paladins of Voltron that they’re hosting is descended from the Galra), Keith is just done.

He takes a glass of the local wine, a disgusting liquid that tastes like a rancid Nunvill with sour cherries added, and slips out the doors to a large terrace. The night air is cool and a blessing after the heat of so many bodies in the ballroom, all talking at once. Now that he’s out of sight, Keith loosens the collar of his Altean dress uniform and lets it fall away from his throat.

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i wrote a whole! three pages! of this art history midterm, and it only took me five hours per tooth-pulling page!! extraordinary!!! anyway in ““celebration”” have this Cranky Triptych i sent to el partway through—

lmfao guess i should sum up colorado while i’m here

-there’s a town called God Bless, Colorado

-you can get pamphlets that tell you how to Properly Ingest Ingestibles at, like, truckstops

-cozy little cabins what the fuck

-my mother tried to get the gps on my phone and nearly cried when it told her it would take three hours to get to our airbnb cabin from a day out

-it was fifteen minutes

-she’d hit the bicycle route option

-we saw a baby black bear in the woods

-we did NOT see mama bear because my mother promptly had a heart attack and next thing i knew we were like two miles away

-saw some calders in the botanical gardens in denver

-windy little roads

-i drive so illegally all the time how have i never been pulled over

-there were some kids in a restaurant trying to sing we will rock you

-they only knew the one line

-had a bad margarita

-watched inception????

-remembered afterward how bad my memory is because my mother kept looking at me like the things i was misremembering were actually a dream

-did?  an art?

-wtf is a tundra

-taught my mom how to slav squat lmfAO

-why are there so many people in national parks it feels kinda backwards but whatevs

-FINALLY CAUGHT A PIKACHU WITH A HAT ON

Good Morning

Bubbers had not just one but two night wakings last night. Both of which my husband blissfully slept through. I don’t know what’s gotten into the poor little guy. He’s been sleeping through the night for over a month now so it’s unusual that he’s waking several times. My working theory is teething or his daily routine being disrupted by having guests over.
So I’ve not had great sleep, 3 two to three hour intervals of sleep being interrupted by a distraught baby.
It’s nap #1 right now, I’m using it to scroll through tumblr and just enjoy some me time before resuming our day. Nap #2 I’m planning on doing @evolutionofacosfitter’s horror movie challenge, but I’m going to save the run for after Hubs gets off work so I can do it alone

Originally posted by chicadereggaeton

*siren noises* real life warning!

I don’t post on here about my real life much because it’s pretty boring, tbh. But, wow, the last three weeks have been crazy. I quit my current job on July 10th, moved to a city 2 hours away on July 11th and 12th, and started my new job on July 13th. I moved further South during the hottest part of the year.

I made a post some time last week about some issues I was having with the new job (I thought I wasn’t being allowed to go to lunch or ask for days off, mainly to go to cons.). This was a crazy miscommunication that lasted all week. I can, in fact, go to lunch and ask for days off. I panicked for a whole week solid because my boss doesn’t like discussing job things at work when customers can come in, and kept delaying the lunch/days off conversation I was trying to have with her. On the plus side, I got some great sushi out of the deal, and also I can go to cons and have lunch. 

Then, once I’d finally resolved that mess…I drove my car into two feet of standing water, because I now live in Columbia SC and it just flash floods every time there’s rain now, apparently. So yeah, that wasn’t fun. I’ve been out all day running around trying to get the car towed and trying to figure out what the heck to do about a new one. It has been. Such a long day, holy crap, but I persevered.

Of course this means no Otakon, sadly. It’ll be the first one I’ve missed since 2009, and I am going to miss the big Fire Emblem and Persona shoots. But having a working car is kind of important, and there will be other cons.

So anyway, that’s been my life for the past three weeks. Hopefully now that I’ve got the job situation straightened out and the car situation straightened out, I can get my life back on track and get back to writing porn being a productive member of society!

Day one of my sub-internship: I want to do my residency here so bad. The residency director got me coffee and spent an hour getting to know me and talking about their abortion training this morning. The attending I worked with this afternoon genuinely passionately cares about systemic approaches to evidence based medicine. I have clinic with the residency director in the morning and can’t make the remote login to Epic work and it’s awwwwwful. But I love their whole philosophy and they were already in my top three and now I think they’re in my top ONE and I don’t know if I’m competitive enough for them. Aaaaaaauuuuuuuugggghhhhh stress

Crutchie, Cursed: Chapter Seven

And, I am back from my little vacation! It was super nice and I’ve gotten quite a bit of chapters for this guy done, plus a number of one-shots, so you can expect those within the next few weeks. Previous chapters for Crutchie, Cursed can be found here: One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six or just by searching “crutchie cursed” on tumblr. I hope you guys are enjoying this, because I most definitely am having fun with this little au. 


It only took a short four hours for the distance between him and Jack to begin to ache unbearably. Crutchie wasn’t entirely sure if the pain arose from the pressure of the command, or from the heart-breaking way that he had been forced to simply disappear without explaining to Jack what was going on.

Crutchie had arrived home, promptly collapsing onto his bed without a word to Medda. She had been, understandably, worried about him, but hadn’t pressed him to tell her. Medda understood, all too well, just how much Crutchie hated being forced into anything. Instead, Crutchie had simply waved her away, promising to explain everything in the morning. She had nodded, softly squeezed Crutchie’s shoulder, and then left him alone.

Once Medda had left his room, Crutchie had rolled over, placing his back to the door. He didn’t want to risk anyone accidentally walking in on him and noticing the small tears that pooled at the corners of his eyes. Even though Crutchie knew that he could never speak with Jack ever again, that didn’t prevent him from wanting to see the Prince one last time. Maybe… Maybe he could ask Davey to show him Jack one last time. And, then, he’d just move on and never think about the Prince of New York and what may have been.

Crutchie sat up quickly, trying to find his bag that he would keep Davey in. “No,” Crutchie whispered, scanning his room. He checked under his bed, in his closet, behind the small nightstand. Nothing. “No, no, no,” he murmured, the word a soft mantra as he desperately prayed that he was just missing it. Crutchie sank back onto his bed, well aware of his folly. He had left Davey back at the castle.

Crutchie had managed to lose the only four people he had ever been able to call his friends.

All in the span of one week.

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anonymous asked:

How long does it usually take you to do a piece?

Several hours, but it’s hard to nail down an exact amount. I usually have 2-5 pieces at different stages and will switch between them when I get tired and need a change of pace.

When I’m at my very best (super motivated, tons of time to devote to it) I can finish about three square designs in a week. I was laid off just before Christmas last year, and had unlimited free time for a few months as a result, so I was EXTREMELY PROLIFIC this winter.

I’m working again now, so things are at a much slower rate. My personal goal is to finish and post at least once new thing each week, and I’ve been hitting that pretty consistently.

The recent space tourism poster designs take longer to do, for a couple reasons: they’re just bigger, for one! But also, it’s a lot easier and faster to make an abstract doodle Galaxy than it is to make a piece that’s actually supposed to look like something. (The pride galaxies take longer for this reason, too.)

"But they have long wait times in Canada!"

I am from the USA.

I have one of the most top-teir private insurance plans available.

I live in a city with four, count ‘em, FOUR hospitals.

I have been a patient of my pulmonologist for 2 years.

I scheduled my next appointment today. The first available appointment?

In three and a half months.

Please stop with this “you can see a specialist in a week!” Nonsense. No you can’t. Not with elite insurance and not as an existing patient. I’ve had to make specialist appointments as far as 8 months out.

Yesterday I made an appointment with my primary for a somewhat urgent matter. His next available? In 3 weeks.

I hate going to the emergency room because the average wait time is 4-10 hours. I ended up in a coma once because of complications caused by the wait time.

I am in the most medically privileged position a chronically ill person in the US can be, and the wait times to see my doctor are still very very long.

There are people in my country who can’t even afford to go to the doctor and people justify it by saying “but in Canada, they have to ~*wait*~.

We wait here too. We wait JUST AS LONG, and sometimes even LONGER.

But not everyone gets to wait, and they die because of it.

That disgusts me.

Universal health care now, please. And yes, my full time working, disabled, chronically ill self is more than happy to fork over taxes so that nobody goes without healthcare-even the people I don’t like!

headcanon:

whenever Chirrut meets someone who is a) not trying to kill him and b) some degree of sighted, he’ll ask them to describe Baze for him.

he’s heard every possible description a dozen times now, but he still reacts the same: rocking back and forth, ducking his head and grinning immensely, and trying to hide his smile behind one hand, while asking for more and more minor details about baze’s appearance and responding to each one like an excited teenager with a crush.