i can already see where this shit's going

anonymous asked:

Just coz I wanna see you fond, can you describe Lou in gifs? x

I don’t even know if you’re ready I’m already so sorry no I’m not cos this is he:

Originally posted by louislittlefeetsies

Originally posted by prettylittlelarrie

Originally posted by 1dlarryluv

Originally posted by sexatoxbridge

Originally posted by whythefuckyoulyinlarry

Handled

Drabble Prompt: “Can you struggle a little? I feel like you’re taking this way too calmly and I’m worried.“

Pairing: Jensen x Reader

Requested by: @torn-and-frayed


“Happy Birthday, sexy!” Your boyfriend exclaims when he saunters into your best friend’s house.

“Thanks, sexy!” You sass jumping up, wrapping your arms and legs around the insanely gorgeous man.

“You made it.” You whisper into his ear sounding muffled.

“Of course I made it, gorgeous. I would never miss this.” He whispers back leaning his forehead on yours.

“Ok ok. There’s other people here, you fuckers!” Jared cracks making you bury your face into Jensen’s neck, trying to hide flushed cheeks.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

I hope you're having a fantastic day! ❤ Just wanted to clear up things for that anon - i'm really sorry that happened to u honestly who the fuck breaks up with some1 the day u meet? (i hope you're in a better place now though!) But i have no intentions of letting go of Anna unless she wants me to. Heck yeah im nervous travelling across the world but we both WANT to make this work! Yea relationships are hard work which is why im working so hard myself. cause i definitely want to hold onto her 💙

Kelsey accidentally turned this on anon 

ya dingus

BUT as you can see, we are an even team effort in this relationship! I know I’m saving up already so I can go visit where she lives. I would say I’m working hard to keep this relationship going  but I like that saying “if you’re doing something you love then you’ll never work a day in your life”. Because I love her, yes I help her with hard times, but non of it seems like working. (Ok, maybe I have to work hard to remember to respond to things but I blame that on my phone being a shit and the time differences!)  I’m just proud of our relationship so far because we make a great team so far and I can’t wait for her to get here so we can keep working together! 

It was honestly getting out of hand. This is not what Tasha had in mind when she had the airport evacuated. It was more to make sure Barnes doesn’t accidentally hurt someone and maybe avoid people snapping pictures and tweeting about Avengers arguing with each other. And what the fuck was Clint doing here? Admittedly, she could have left a more detailed explanation with Vision as to why Wanda was confined to the compound though she thought that Wanda was intelligent enough to draw her own conclusions. Apparently she wasn’t.

“Is this part of the plan?” Nat asked after Tasha helped her up.

“No, this definitely was not part of the plan. Damn Rogers and his ‘punch-the-way-out’ mindset. Want to switch it up?”

“Sure.” It was with practiced ease that Iron Woman had Black Widow in tight but safe grip, flying short way across the landing strip in order to land in the path of Cap’s team.

“Captain Rogers… I know you believe what you’re doing is right. But for the collective good…you must surrender now.” It pained her how incredibly like J.A.R.V.I.S. Vision sounded sometimes. But the good captain apparently was not listening if the advancing was anything to go by. Well fuck.

“They are not stopping.” She could have gone without kid’s comment. In a matter of seconds they were beating each other again. It was insane. And she had run out of patience. “Vision, take out the quinjet. It seems they won’t stop until they reach it.” Tasha instructed, dodging the shield Rogers threw at her.

The android disengaged his fight with the newcomer with the suit that could apparently enlarge as well as shrink; and turned his attention to the open hangar where the powered down quinjet was waiting. Iron Woman’s instruction was sound. Taking out a way to escape reduced the probability of prolonged fighting. Checking yet again if there was someone around the hangar, short beam of yellow energy burst from the gem on his forehead and the quinjet was reduced to a smoking pile of scrap. It was a shame really, for Tasha Stark took great pride in designing and building it. The resulting explosion served as a short moment of pause as the realization of no escape settled on Captain America’s team.

“I will say it one last time!” There was no restraint in anger that boomed from Iron Woman. “Stand the fuck down!”

Spider-man used the distraction to shoot copious amount of webbing at Hawkeye, Falcon and Scarlet Witch, effectively pinning them to the ground. It was after all the reason why she brought him to Germany in the first place. The close contact combat was not it. Black Panther had Barnes pinned as well, Black Widow was eyeing the man in giant form with all the suspicion of the world whilst War Machine was hovering near him as well, ready to act at any sudden move. For the first time since this whole shitty mess started, Captain America looked indecisive and unsure. It was more than likely because his only effective way out was blown up. Looking at his now subdued teammates, he let the shield he retrieved fall from his hand. “You’re making a mistake Tasha.”

“Then it is mine to make. As it was your mistake in deciding to not contact me before this fight went down or even to listen to me back at the task force.” She turned to Black Widow. “Please inform Everett Ross to send a transport for everyone.”

The giant man finally shrunk down to the normal size, hands raised up in surrender. She would find out exactly what his name was later. “Stay put Rogers.” Tasha ordered when he moved to follow her approach to Barnes, reinforcing it with a raised gauntlet waiting to fire off an energy blast. The helmet collapsed when she kneeled in front of Barnes. “Who am I talking to right now?”

“Sergeant James Barnes, serial number 32557038.”

“It’s nice to meet you at last Barnes. I believe I have something to help with your conditioning problem.”

“Steve didn’t mention that.”

Tasha snorted. “Yes, I am beginning to learn how elective he is with words. We’ll discuss it later.”

Black Widow returned with small caravan of SUV’s and prisoner transport trucks in tow, gear was taken away, handcuffs were slapped on and everyone made their way back to Berlin. Tasha was already having a headache just thinking about conversations that were to be had in about two hours. Making sure Spider-man was safely on board her private jet with Happy, Tasha slipped into the backseat of the black SUV; content to find out that there was no one else in it. She just needed a quiet minute or two.

***

“You know you are not obligated to talk to them any further. That is actually my job at this point.”

Why did she stop drinking? Because she could fucking use one right now. “I like you much better than the other Ross. So if you could just let me deal with this shit please? I promise you can hash out all the details on them later because frankly I am just about done.”

The shorter man eyed her, finally shrugging his shoulder and pointed to the heavily guarded conference room where the rogue Avengers as media was already calling them were being kept. He made it crystal clear that they should be in cells already but he was not going to go against the higher ups. And seeing the plain exhaustion of her face, he decided that the woman should have some sort of satisfaction out this entire clusterfuck. “You look ready to keel over.” Nat commented bluntly, matching her steps with Tasha’s.

“Let’s just get this over with, okay? I really don’t want to talk about anything else.” Two women already found Rhodey, Vision and T’Challa sitting at the same table, facing the other team with expressions varying from unconcealed anger to pensive curiosity. “Are the handcuffs really necessary?”

“I’m not here for chit chat, Rogers.”

“Where’s Bucky?”

Rhodey snorted loudly and Tasha rolled her eyes. “You have unbelievably single track mind, it’s amazing. You people collectively broke more international laws than most terrorists do and you keep yapping about your best friend. He’s fine; I negotiated with Ross to have him transferred to one of my facilities under heavy guard just in case the other Ross had any bright ideas. We-” she motioned to her team. “Are here to talk about the supposed Winter Soldiers.”

“Oh, so now you care?” Clint shot out, not even attempting to hide his discontent.

“Mr. Barton.” T’Challa cut in before Tasha could speak again. “The entire defense of your team sits on this supposed threat. Make no mistake; your position is very precarious.”

“Barnes already gave us some intel, we just want to corroborate that he told you the same thing.”

“And then what?”

Vision leaned forward in his seat. “And then captain Rogers, we are going to go and investigate the validity of those claims. I believe they will be taken into account when joint counter terrorism centre brings up the charges. I believe Mr. Ross has far more detailed explanation of how things will proceed from here.”

“And the Russians are just going to let you waltz in their backyard?” Sam sounded guarded and doubtful.

“Considering they have to deal with public backlash of Barnes being used as KGB’s assassin and likelihood that they have been storing several more on ice all this time after everything that happened, yes, they will let us just waltz into their backyard.” Rhodey ground out.

“Look, we will check this either way Rogers. You cooperating might do you some good. Time to start using that head of yours for something other than punching and thinking about your war buddy.”

“You mean compromise?”

Tasha pinched the bridge of her nose. “Not this again Rogers. I am not talking about this with someone who has not even read the Accords. None of you did, I bet.”

“You owe it -” “Enough Captain.” T’Challa was on his feet now. This was not how they discussed making their marriage public knowledge but he could not stand to watch any longer to his wife’s former team mate look at her like she was ultimate disappointment in his life. “My wife does not owe you or anyone here anything beyond the common curtsey of civil conversation.”

One could hear a needle fall in the room that is how silent it was. Steve noticed that aside from Rhodes, everyone was sporting various degrees of surprise on their faces. And Tasha looked uncharacteristically pleased with it. “Is this some sort of joke?”

“I assure you Mr. Barton; I would never joke on the matter of our marriage. You have never inquired if Tasha was seeing anyone, you just made assumptions. Besides, we preferred our privacy.”

“So it was another secret.” At best, he sounded like it was something he believed to be completely in character with her and was therefore disappointed that she did not learn from past experiences.

Tasha’s eyes narrowed. “Rogers…my marriage is of absolutely no importance to the events that have transpired in last few days. So fuck you for trying to use it as some sort of springboard for your moral crusade. I’m done.” T’Challa wasted no time in following after her.

“Tasha slow down.” It was not that he could not catch up with her but it was the way she was gripping her left arm while she was marching away that had him concerned. “I am sorry for blurting it out like that but I could not watch him step on you any longer.”

“It’s fine, really.” Her breathing suggested otherwise.

“What injuries did you sustain in the fight?” His eyes tried to asses her condition but aside from the black eye, she had no visible injuries.

“None. But uh, my left arm is kind of numb. Is that normal?”

No, it was not normal at all and the panic he experienced seconds before the bomb went off returned with full force. “You need to see a doctor straight away.”

“What? No, I’m good.”

“Please, intanda, do not argue with me. Not now.” Her acquiescence after his plea was short lived because not ten steps later; she collapsed and would have kissed the floor face first were it not for his fast reflexes. With relative ease, he scooped her up and called for help. He lost his father; he would not lose her too.


@queenyavengers So you wanted a secretly married IronPanther, yes? Here’s a short thing plus angst.

what makes you so qualified? - ian (nsfw)

     Prompt: hi ok i know this isn’t very specific but i NEED something angsty with ian so if you could make that happen that’d be pretty good :-) pls & thanks

   Ian does a Content Cop on the reader’s YouTube channel. Then there is hate sex. That’s it. Enjoy the nut. Warning for mention of hate comments, and vulgar language.

    Being invited to Vid-Con had been a dream come true. Just one year ago you’d started up your channel, and it had blown up within a few months. The first videos were extremely simple, just you sitting in front of a camera and ranting about goofy little things like books you were assigned in class, or the issues with the buses in your city, or things that went wrong at work. You knew they were little things, but the point of your channel was to seemingly get worked up over very little things for comedic effect. You’d found a niche and had amassed a just over a million subscribers and had even collabed with other YouTubers in your area. Of course, there were plenty of people outside of your fan sphere that found your videos pointless, no one bigger than yourself had much to really say about you other than that your name was (y/n) and you ran a channel of comedic rants on useless topics…that was until one morning two weeks ago when you woke up to more twitter notifications than you’d ever had in your life telling you to look at the iDubbbzTV channel’s latest video. You knew it wasn’t going to be good as someone who was a casual fan of Ian Carter’s work, so you were reluctant to look. You were right to have been. There at the top of his page was a 20-minute Content Cop on your channel, and it always had 4 million views.

    You watched the whole thing, there was no point in wondering what the video contained. He really dug in, talking at length about the topics to chose to rant about weren’t very interesting, that your videos were always over ten minutes, that your use of jumpcuts was obnoxious, and that you were a serial offender when it came to using clickbaity thumbnails. He ended the video by dressing up as you and mocking the way you spoke and how you used your hands to speak. Your followers had been sending apologies and compliments, and it was nice but you weren’t saddened, you were angry. You’d thought Ian had an eye for when something was meant to be comedy, and you were hardly the worst when it came to extending videos or using obvious thumbnails.

    Leading up to Vid-Con, you had taken a hit in subscribers for sure, but managed to rebound back to just over a million the day before. You’d been ridiculed endlessly by Ian’s fanbase and you weren’t oblivious to the injustice. Usually when Ian went after a single person, they fucked up big time. You hadn’t even had any scandals, hadn’t done anything but made content he didn’t think was up to his standards. Keemstar, Leafy, Tana, they’d all done something else to deserve it, and you couldn’t figure out why Ian had chosen you to fuck with when there were so many other channels run by scandal prone people. Now that you were here however, you didn’t want to dwell on it. You were in a group with a few of your YouTube friends and were being approached pretty consistently by subscribers that wanted photos and signatures. It was fantastic to meet them all, and only a few brought up the Content Cop episode.

    You were signing the right sneaker of a girl who was probably a year younger than you were when she asked you if it made you uncomfortable that iDubbbz and his buddies were hanging out around the door. You looked up quickly and the girl was right. Ian Carter was sitting on a couch next to his friends Max, Chad and George. You’d never had any problems with Max, Chad or George, you’d never even met them in person, but they weren’t even paying you any attention. Ian however, was looking right at you for just a moment before he averted his gaze.  

    Couldn’t he at least let you enjoy VidCon without butting into your business? He’d already fucked up the last few weeks enough with his stupid video and now he had the audacity to come in and stare at you. He was probably just trying to see how many people would pick on you about the video. You moved to get up as soon as the girl walked off, and even as one of your friends pulled on your arm to get you to sit back down you didn’t even flinch. You walked straight up to Ian and his group of friends. Ian was watching you again and this time you didn’t even care. It felt like everyone was staring at you as you stopped right in front of Ian, standing over him.

    He had a baseball cap on, and his hair was long enough that it curled just a little where it peaked out of his hat. He was in that same sweatshirt and sweatpants style outfit he was always in and his stupid glasses were off kilter. This was the man that had taken shots at you? He looked even less threatening in person, especially as he sat on the couch and just looked up at you, his mouth shut for once. You grabbed his wrist and jerked it forward, and his eyes widen as his glasses slip just a little. “I need to talk to you,” you say quietly, but with just as much malice as you feel. You can’t help it. You’re usually cool headed but Ian just strikes a nerve in you.

    Max looks like he’s about to say something, but George hits him to shut him up. Ian looks over at his friends, then back at you and gets up. He’s really tall standing up, but it doesn’t make you lose your nerve. He may be bigger but he’s just a bully, and you’ve stood up to plenty of bullies in your time. You pull him a few feet towards the door and he follows he out of the room. You end up leading him down an empty hallway and outside of the door of the maintenance closet that holds supplies for one of the used rooms. Hesitantly, you open the door and guide him inside before closing the door behind you.

    “Why the hell are we in here? If you wanted to bitch at me about my Content Cop, you could have done it where we were,” Ian says snidely, leaning against the wall. There’s not a lot of light in the closet, but you can make him out clearly enough. He’s fucking smirking.

    “And give you the satisfaction of watching everyone in that room laugh at me? That was not going to happen Ian. I’m already being called some nasty shit Ian! I can’t open my comment box without seeing thousands of comments that say “kill yourself” or “delete your channel cunt” or “I hope you lose all your subs and die of cancer”. Ian’s face softened a little

    “I never told anyone to do that. You seem like a nice enough person, so I didn’t even touch your character. I just went after your content,” he said, lowering his voice a little.

    “What makes you so qualified to tell me my content is garbage Ian Carter? I haven’t done shit to you. I’ve never even talked about you in a video, or about any YouTubers that aren’t my friends for that matter. Why would you even pick to do it on me over every other channel just like mine?” Ian was looking at you intently, but he seemed to be looking at your lips rather than your eyes.

    “I just noticed your videos the most,” he admitted. Your eyes drifted downwards and you were suddenly very aware that he was at least half hard in his grey sweats, and they didn’t do much to hide it. He cleared his throat and shifted a little, trying to casually but his hands in his pockets to conceal it.

    “Christ Ian, are you serious? I’m trying to have a conversation with you about your stupid video and you’re fucking getting off on it?” You could almost see his face go red, even in the low lighting of the closet.

    “What do you want me to do about it cunt? I can think your content is awful and still be attracted to you! Am I supposed to just will my cock to go down? Anatomy 101 says it doesn’t work like that! If you want to get rid of it than do something about it!” He said it in anger but as soon as it left his mouth he seemed to wish he could take it back. You’re going to hit him, you really are, but your hand ends up in his hair instead and suddenly your yanking his head down so you can kiss him.

    He kisses you back, almost biting your lip in eagerness and it gives you a smug satisfaction to know that the great iDubbbz could be brought down with one little kiss. You’ve got him against the wall and he’s trying to flip you around so he can pin you but you won’t give into him. He already got his turn to control a situation. It was your turn. He’s nearly a foot taller than you, and you’re on your toes to reach him, but his hands on your waist are almost pulling you up to meet him. You bring your lips down to roughly kiss at the pale expanse of skin over his neck and you can feel how obviously hard he is despite it seemingly like it was trying to angle his hips to hide it.  “What, haven’t gotten laid in a while Ian?” You mock, reaching down to rub him through the fabric of his sweatpants.

    He’s been trying to be quiet, but you hear his breath hitch in his throat as he slides his hands down your back and hooks his long fingers around the waistband of your leggings and pulls them down to your knees to get them out of the way before he reaches a finger down to rub at your clit through your panties while he brings his lips back to yours. “Don’t pretend like you don’t want this too,” he grunts.

    As much as you want this, you can’t help but want to make Ian pay for fucking with your channel. He’s trying to get his pants down but you aren’t having it, choosing instead to rub him through his sweats until there’s a visible wet spot on the front of his pants that there’s no way he’ll be able to hide. Finally, you start to pull down his sweats, but he’s eager enough that he almost beats you too it. You smirk at the large stain of precum spreading across the front of his boxers, but he’s already pulling your shirt off, and then you’re helping him rip off his sweatshirt. You hear the fabric tear as you pull on it. “I liked that hoodie you…you…” he can’t even finish the insult before you’re kissing him roughly yet again.

    “I fucking hate you Ian,” you growl in his ear as he pushes you against the wall and strips his boxers from his legs. He presses his body entirely against yours as he roughly nips at your kiss swollen lips. He gets on his knees to pull down your underwear and kisses your slit before pulling you down on the ground with him. There’s hardly any space, and his back and shoulders are pressed against the wall as you crawl over him and slide yourself down onto his length. You think you see his eyes roll back just a little before he blinks at you.

    “God you’re tight, haven’t found anyone willing to settle for a while huh?” You grind slowly against him, adjusting to his length and how good he feels inside you. That shuts him up pretty quickly. You’re riding him, you have all the power and he’s just lying there but for some reason he’s still sweating.

    “Says the man so eager to get his dick wet he pops one the second he’s alone with a girl,” you shoot back. You anchor your hands against his chest to give you some leverage to move. He seems mesmerized by your chest for a moment but he must have been listening because his eyes fly to yours. “Do you want me to get up and leave right now Ian? I could. I could leave you here aching because you didn’t get to finish.” He groans and sits up, twisting you around so he’s on top of you. He snaps his hips against yours sucks at your pulse point until he knows he’s going to leave an ugly mark.

    “No, I don’t want you to leave,” he says, as he finds a rhythm that makes you shake. “I worked so hard to get your attention and I intend to keep it.” You don’t even think he realized what he just admitted to as he grabs your right leg and hooks it around his hip so he can go deeper. He’s hitting your g-spot on every thrust and your nails are digging into his back, partially because it feels good and partially just to leave the marks there. He’s using his left hand to rub the pads of his fingers over your clit and you have to cover your mouth with your forearm as you come to shut yourself up.

    Ian’s hips stutter for a few seconds and his quickly pulls out and spills onto your stomach. You had been planning on mocking his orgasm face, but the way his lips part and his eyes squeeze shut is actually really endearing. He grabs for his boxers, the only choice he really has, and wipes you clean with them before tossing them aside and collapsing right next to you.

    You start to sit up and look for your clothes and he actually looks kind of sad. “What? Do you like to cuddle,” you tease him. He shrugs and pulls his sweatpants on, wincing a little when he sees the obvious wet patch on the front of them.

    “Yeah. I do, um, I know you hate me and all but I’m at the Hyatt, Room 635, if you want to um,” he clears his throat.

    “Are you asking me to come to your room to cuddle you?” You ask him incredulously as you pull your shirt back on. He yanks back on his ripped sweatshirt and grabs his discarded glasses off the floor. You sigh in defeat and reach out to mix his messy hair and place his hat back on his head. You pause and look at him, still kneeling over him. He nods, just once, his head barely even moving.

    “You know you didn’t have to drag my channel just to get me to notice you, asshole,” you snort as you finish making yourself look presentable. Ian’s got several obvious bruises on his neck and you feel just a bit of pride that it was you that put them there.

    “It wasn’t just to get you to notice me, I really do think your content needs some work. It just wasn’t quite bad enough to make a legit content cop on,” he admits scratching at the back on his neck sheepishly.

    “Well your stamina needs some work, so how about we help each other out,” you tease as you open the closet door, peaking out to make sure the hall is still empty. It is. The next event isn’t starting for several hours.

    “It’s a deal [y/n]” he agrees, following you back out into the hallway. You have to part ways as to not seem suspicious, but you can’t help but notice, as you sit back down where you had been before, that Ian is playing with the new hole in his sweatshirt.

The Joker x Reader - “SALLY”

Nobody knows why the Joker keeps on calling you Sally and you answer to it. Are you two in a weird mood again? Playing games? Messing around? Better not to ask any questions if one wants to stay alive.

Frost has the flu. It started three days ago and got worse today so you ordered him to stay in bed. He had a bunch of things assigned from his boss but you convinced your boyfriend to give him a break. You really don’t want to talk about what it took to get J’s approval, but it involves a very wild previous night, the sofa in the living room and the couch on the balcony, handcuffs, two lingerie outfits and ice cream. 

Needless to say the Joker is not happy you are so doting with Jonny.

“Are you dying Frost?” he growls from the armchair, watching you touch your best friend’s forehead and cheeks to assess his fever.

“No, sir,” he turns his head towards a displeased Prince of Crime.

“Would you like to?” the question comes and you sigh, regretting taking J with you into Jonny’s quarters. Not that you could have said no since he followed you closely.

“No, Mister J,” Frost replies, pulling away from you because he realizes he’s walking on thin ice without even doing anything.

“Then stop touching my woman!” J barks, pointing his finger towards you two.

“Baby, I’m touching him, OK?” you state your evident action, not looking his way because it makes it worse; you don’t want to encourage this behavior.

“Tech-ni-ca-li-ties,” the Joker grumbles, his blue eyes burning.

“Take this, it’s for body ache,” you hand over 3 Ibuprofen capsules to Frost with a glass of water, hoping J will calm down. You feel the intensity of his gaze even if your back is turned. The gun clicks and you decide to finally glare at your boyfriend.

“Would you like another body ache, Frost? A more… permanent one?” the words echo in the bedroom, louder and louder since he’s annoyed and his wrecked temper is starting to show more and more.

“Stop it, baby!” you frown, stepping in front of the gun. “He’s sick and I’m merely taking care of him.”

J inhales, staring at the ceiling for a few seconds, deliberating on his next step and lowers his pistol, placing it back in the holster.

Frost wants to reply but instead you talk again:

“On a scale of 1 to 10, how pissed are you J?”

You always use the scale to have an idea about how mad the Joker is.

“About a 5,” he sniffles, scratching his arm.

“We’re doing good then!” you cheerfully conclude and go over to kiss your boyfriend as a reward he’s only a 5 even if it seemed it was much worse. J purrs and squeezes you tight in his arms, glad his possessiveness and jealousy dictate the mood around there.

Jonny begins to cough his lungs out and J reaches for his gun but you stop his hand and placing it around your waist again.

“Noooo, don’t do that,” you continue to kiss him and peck his lips, then his eyes, then his cheeks all over.

“But why does he have to interrupt, Princess?” J complains, pulling you in his lap and enjoying you pampering and showering him with kisses.

“He’s just sick, baby,” you whisper in his ear, then kiss his neck and… Frost won’t stop coughing and he feels so weird when you two converse like he’s not even there but he’s used to it. After such a long time, Jonny knows it’s part of your strategy.

“I think I’m getting to a 7!!” J angrily admits and you quickly get up, taking his hand and urging him to get up.

“Oh, no, please don’t get to a 7! We’re going, Jonny! I’ll be back later to check up on you,” and you drag your boyfriend out before he completely loses his shit.

********************

“Y/N!!!!!! Y/N!! Hey, Kitten! Com’ere!” he yells so you can hear him from downstairs.

“What is it?” you rush to see what’s going on.

“Doll, I think I have a hair growing on my arm!” he shows you the spot by the Bat tattoo.

“Where?” you bring your eyes really close so you can investigate and there is actually something there. “Oh my God, baby, you’re growing hair on your body?!” you panic and it doesn’t help the fact that he’s already displeased to the maximum by the situation.

“Dammit, woman, you’re making it worse!” The Joker mutters, aggravated to the point of having a tantrum, urging you to bring the tweezers so you can pluck out the culprit.

You don’t move and really have to let him know:

“I really love you but if you start growing hair on your body I’ll have to find me another man; I don’t like hairy guys,” and you lift your shoulders up to emphasize you mean it. Oooooh, that was the wrong thing to say, even if it’s not true.

J instantly snaps and the only solution to the perturbation is to inquire:

“On a scale of 1 to 10, how pissed are you baby?”

“Between 7 and 8!” he shouts back, tossing his cane to the ground and stepping on it, mad beyond control, and you know you’re the next to pay but you’re in luck:

“Wanna have angry sex?” you smirk, relieved (when he’s angry between 7 and 8 you can usually calm him down with sex).

“Yeah!!” J turns his attention towards you, slamming you on the kitchen counter and starting to rip your clothes off.

Dodged the bullet there, thank goodness he didn’t reach a 9.

It also turned out it was false alarm: no hair, just a faded shade of black pen marking, probably from when he was tracing locations on Gotham’s map and didn’t realize he touched his skin with it. At least you had a huge smile on your face for the rest of the day because… did he go crazy on you or what?! And you totally enjoyed it.

*********************

The Joker hates that you and Frost have your thing: you have your jokes, your stories and all the little things only the two of you know about since you are best friends. Sometimes it only takes one word and you know what the other is talking about. The King of Gotham never had a thing with anybody and it makes him hold a grudge against your friendship. He knows there is nothing going on between you and Jonny that way but it doesn’t make him less discontent.

You are aware of it because your boyfriend told you about it once when he was a 6 on the mad scale. You were fighting and in the heat of the moment he threw that in your face; you didn’t really have a comeback afterwards since you didn’t know how to handle it. That’s why you are determined to find a thing that only you and him can have. So far, no luck.

*********************

** When you showed up at the penthouse with your left cheek all cut up, things escalated faster than expected. You broke into Van Criss laboratories to extract a new toxin J wanted to sell on the black market and got ambushed. After a chase, lots of shooting, a knife fight and your face slashed in the process, you barely made it out of there. You wanted to make The Joker proud so you sneaked in at night alone, didn’t take any henchmen with you. Not the best idea you ever had.**

He keeps on furiously pressing the cuts, attempting to stop the bleeding.

“Fuck, Kitten, what the hell were you thinking?!” He rarely cusses like this so you know it’s not a good sign. J is not being gentle and it stings sooooo bad when the rubbing alcohol is being poured on your fresh wounds.  You want to cry badly but you’ve read somewhere that a person looks 11.33% uglier when they cry and you can’t afford that right now with your left cheek a mess.

“I-I’m sorry,” you whimper, trying to hold the tears in, clinging to his white shirt that has your blood all over. “I-I got what you wanted though,” you stutter, closing your eyes really tight since the pain won’t stop.

“Do I really care about that right now?!” J kicks your leg and it makes you jump. “Who did this to you?” he snarls, patching and covering with gauze whatever he can, fully aware you’ll have scars after this solo adventure of yours.

“A-a guard, “ you bury your face in his chest since he’s done. “Am I… am I gonna be ugly now?!” you sound so desperate it makes him more enraged.

“Nobody does this to my Pumpkin!” The Joker reckons with a clenched jaw. “I have to gather our men, we’re going on a mission!”

“Where are you going?” you ask with a muffled voice, still taking refuge in his arms, worried at his impulsiveness. He ignores you and caresses your hair, absent minded. You feel his body getting stiff and have to ask:

“Ummm…on a scale of 1 to 10, how pissed are you baby?”

“A 12!!!” J angrily exclaims, pushing you away and storming out the door, slamming everything in his way towards the exit.

You are left alone in the middle of the living room, patched up in bloody bandages; you even forgot to cry: a 12??!!! What is a 12??!! How do you handle it?! It’s not even on the scale!!! It makes you hysterical: what is The Clown Prince of Crime going to do?!

Well, The Van Criss lab location you were at earlier tonight got blown up to pieces: it’s all over the news. There was not a single wall or pole left standing, no survivors.( At least so far they didn’t find any). The only clue that might tell the authorities what happened was found on the concrete fence near the South entrance: a laughing mouth, full of teeth, painted with neon green spray and the inscription on top of it: “Nobody messes with my girl!”

******************

Your face healed and The Joker was right: you have deep scars ingrained in your skin. You thought you will hate your new appearance but actually kind of like it: it suits you. J believes it makes you look badass and that’s more than good enough for you.

The best compliment he found so far is telling you that you don’t look as bad as Deadpool.
Thank you, honey; you know how to make a girl feel special. T____T

J insisted to give you a face tattoo on top of your scars to make them look better: black stitches with small bows at each end. You were very skeptical about the whole project but the King of Gotham is not used to take no for an answer.

You analyze everything in the mirror and have to admit J did a good job: the tattoo is a success! Plus, you can always cover it with make up if you really want to.

You trace the lines with your fingers and …idea!!!

“J!! J!!!” you land on top of him since he’s in bed, watching TV.
“Hmm?” he pretends not to notice you’re almost naked.

“What do these scars remind you of?”

“Ummm…. Deadpool?” he teases and you punch his shoulder, pouting.

“You’re incorrigible!”

“I know, but tell me anyway, Kitten,” he slaps your butt, winking at you with that evil smile on his lips.

“Guess!”

“My answer is the same unless you enlighten me Doll,” The Joker purrs, shifting so he’s on top of you.

You reach for his cell and Google something really fast then show him on the screen:

Sally from Nightmare before Christmas, baby! My scars almost look like hers,” you excitedly indicate and he chuckles. “I can be your Sally,” you toss the phone at the end of the bed, wrapping your arms around his neck. “This will be our thing: I’m your stitched girlfriend; what do you think?”

Him staring at you without blinking makes you nervous. Oh, no, is this taking a bad turn?

“On a scale of 1 to 10, how pissed are you J?” you sigh, disappointed your idea got dismissed.

“Zero,” J mumbles, roughly kissing you. “Daddy likes his new Sally,” he snickers, delighted he finally has a thing with somebody. That somebody being his girlfriend makes it even better.

“Really? You mean it?” you pull on his bottom lip and J purrs louder.

“Yes, I mean it; now lets get my new Doll out of these rags.”

********************

Nobody knows why the Joker keeps on calling you Sally and you answer to it. Are you two in a weird mood again? Playing games? Messing around? Better not to ask any questions if one wants to stay alive. After all, nobody dares to upset the Clown Prince of Crime and his Sally. It could easily escalate to a full blown 12 again.

And 12 is not even on the damn scale!

Also read: MASTERLIST

http://diyunho.tumblr.com/post/153664676321/joker-x-reader-masterlist

let’s see, rose/steven can:

  • heal gems and humans with spit/tears
  • grow plants/create life
  • bring people back from the dead….by making them basically zombies with mind portals you can store shit in…….okay……
  • can astral project into people’s bodies (with no knowledge of where the people’s minds go when they get pushed out)
  • float/fly
  • lift up really heavy things, is strong in general
  • form an all-protecting shield or bubble

anything else we gotta add to this ungodly list of jesus’s steven’s powers? cause it’s pretty fucking convoluted and ridiculous already and i can’t wait to learn steven can kill the diamonds with his lazerbeam eyes in season seven

give me your forever or maybe just a while.

Originally posted by mvssmedia

Kinda based on Girls Like U by Blackbear, semi, not really.

“Can we have one more chance at us?”

Genre: suggestive smut & other???? 

btw this is like hella long


“___, have you ever thought about not fucking around with boys?”, Eva asked me as I sat down with a sub in my hand. “Nope, why would I? I get sex and no relationships. Relationships fuck you over anyway.”, I told her as I unwrapped the sandwich. “I guess but what about when you wanna settle down?” “I’ll find a way, worry about your no sex streak for now.”, I joked. “Hey, my boyfriend’s only been out of town for 3 days.” “Yeah, totally out of town.”, I muttered under her breath.

“Yo, ___, party at mine tonight, you coming?”, Hoseok screamed from another table on campus, making heads turn. I gave him the thumbs up and turned back to my friends. “You coming too, Amber?” “Do you think I wanna miss out on one of Hoseok’s parties? They’re the best!” “What about you, Eva?” “I think I’ll pass.”, she muttered. “Boo!”, Amber and Isla screamed in unison. “Guys, I’m not feeling it, Sam’s out of town anyway.” “That’s why you should go! Have some company, have some fun with your gals!”, Isla told her. “Fine. But only if ___ doesn’t go home with anyone.” “Nope.” “Come on, ___, for us?”, Isla said as she shook my left arm which was holding the sandwich. “Nope. What is your obsession with me sleeping around, anyway? It’s not like everyday I’m at a new person’s house.”, I sternly replied before leaving the table. “Do you think she’s annoyed at us?”, Eva laughed. “Possibly. You know what she’s like when she’s annoyed, she won’t talk to us for a week.”, Isla whined as she plopped back down. “Go fix it then.” “You caused it, you go.”, Amber told her, giving her a death glare.


I walked over to Hoseok’s table, I usually did when one of my friends pissed me off. I know I’m a college student and shouldn’t be so petty but sometimes you gotta be petty. “What you doing here?”, Jungkook asked as I arrived at the table, still holding my sub. “Eva pissed me off, I’m chilling here for now.”, I told them as I sat beside Jimin and Hoseok. “Nothing new then.”, he joked. “You sure you wanna be here with Taehyung and all?”, Jimin whispered. “I can take him, don’t worry.”, I laughed as I turned to Taehyung who was already staring at me. “Hey babe. What you got there?”, he smirked. “ One. I’m not your babe, haven’t been for a year and a half. Two. A fuckin’ sandwich? Are you blind?”, Jimin giggled at my response to Taehyung. “Whatever I’ll see you tonight babe.”, he said as he stood up to leave. “Where you going?”, Hoseok asked the younger guy. “To Vanessa, she’s got notes I need.” “Are you sure you’re just getting notes from her?”, Jungkook joked. “Yeah, I am. She’s shit in bed, trust me on that one.”, I couldn’t help but roll my eyes at the conversation was occurring as I continued to finish my sub.

“___, come back to our table, Amber and Isla aren’t happy.”, Eva said from behind me. “Who’s this?”, Namjoon asked. “Dude, she’s in your lectures and shit, you know Sam’s girl.”, Seokjin told him. “Sam has a girl?”, Namjoon whispered to Seokjin, in the hopes that Sam’s ‘girl’ wouldn’t hear him. “I’m good.”, I bluntly replied not even turning around to talk to her. “You’re such a child, seriously just come back to the table.” “Nah.”, Jimin couldn’t stop giggling at my pettiness and Namjoon was still questioning the fact that Sam had a girl. “I swear he was single yesterday.” 

“Fine stay here with your fuckboy friends, you fit right in.”, she frustratedly replied. “Seriously, why are you so obsessed with my sex life? Is it cuz Sam doesn’t think you’re good enough?”, I replied as I turned to throw away my rubbish. “Take that back.” “I introduced you to him, he tells me a lot. But you know, it’s none of my business since it’s not my sex life.” “___, you can chill out with those burns.”, Jungkook chuckled. “I can’t believe you, I’ll be there tonight, without Sam or you.”, she said, storming off. “But Sam’s gonna be there?”, Namjoon questioned again. “Sam doesn’t think they’re an official thing, she does.”, I told him. “Ohh, that makes more sense.” “He just wanted to distance himself before ‘breaking’ up with her.”, I told him, spilling all the secrets about the ‘relationship’.


“You know, you really upset Eva.”, Amber told me as she got into my car. “Yeah but she has no business talking about my choices regarding sex.”, I told her. “She’s insecure about her relationship, you know that better than anyone.”, Amber sighed out of sympathy. “I’ve taken Sam’s side regarding that. Trust me, I know a lot more than I probably should.” “Eva’s your friend.” “And Sam’s my closer friend.” “Why can’t you two just get along? You guys always have some kind of bone to pick with each other.” “Dude, you know why. Besides I’m happy for you to walk yourself.” “Sorry.”


As soon as I arrived at the party I walked into the kitchen to grab my drink and mingle. “Sam!”, I half shouted to catch his attention. “___! Eva’s here?” “Yep, she and I argued this morning so I’m avoiding the shit out of her.” “What did you argue about?”, he chuckled before sipping his beer. “My sex choices and the fact that she’s not good in bed.” “You told her that?” “Well you guy aren’t even a thing in your eyes.”, I laughed. “Dude, I know but I still have to fake break up with this girl.”, he said, soon realising how ridiculous he sounded. “Can I crash at yours tonight? I’ve been over at Jimin’s for way too long.” “Knock yourself out, man. I’ll see you later tonight.”

Later that night I found myself in the bathroom with two people who were making out in the bathtub. “Do you guys mind if I pee? Like everywhere else is locked.”, I told them. “Knock yourself out.”, the girl replied. Just as I opened the door to leave and make my way back to the main room, Taehyung swung the door wide open. “I need to pee, move.” I moved out of his way but didn’t leave in order to admire his body and facial structure. “Why are you still here? Are you that desperate to see my dick again?”, he smirked. “In your dreams, I’m just gonna help you not crash into someone, you’re piss drunk, dude.” “And you’re cute, suck my dick?” “Nope, especially not after you just pissed.”

Keep reading

Believable Lies

Title: Believable Lies
Pairing: Tyler Coe/Reader
Rating: PG-13?
Word Count: 4,807
Summary: “Reader doesn’t want to go to her high school reunion alone, so good guy Tyler Coe offers to go with, and when one of the washed up former jock tries to put the moves on reader Tyler is REAL good at being fake jealous (but spoiler alert it isn’t really fake jealousy it’s real jealousy and shit)” commission for @memes-luna

Keep reading

Cheer Up

[BTS] Kim Taehyung x Reader

Genre: Fluff

Summary: Romance is taken entirely to a new level for a young man when he falls for a girl who has him wrapped around her finger without her completely realizing what she was doing to him.
Originally posted by cyyphr


Music blasted loudly from every corner of the living room, mingled with the idle chatter and drunken laughter of the teenagers with a alcoholic beverage in their hands. This campus fraternity had a reputation for throwing the wildest parties and pulling the most dangerous pranks. While its members were some of the most social butterflies and the most popular students attending the college. Although their parties were common, this celebration was very special, as the sister fraternity was welcoming their most recent member.

Instead of choosing to mingle around with strangers, you stood in the corner of the living room with a styrofoam cup in your hand full of something that reeked of bitter beer. Your lips were pursed slightly in distaste as you watched partygoers carelessly dance the night away. There was nothing more that you desired than to be laying comfortably in your bedroom with a good book. Setting your untouched drink down onto the table, you scan the room once again with bored eyes.

“Join the party, she said. It’ll be a blast, she said.” You mumble bitterly after searching the crowd for Hyuna, but no luck in finding the brunette. She had promised to keep you company for your welcoming party, but you hadn’t spotted her since the party started. Sighing, you pick up your cup again and tilt your head back quickly as your mouth soon takes on the taste of tart beer.

“Slow down there, babe. I know this is your party, but don’t get drunk immediately.” A young man seated beside you chuckled softly, studying you with bright mischievous eyes. You lowered your cup, glancing the stranger with a skeptical gaze. Sure, he was extremely handsome, but that wasn’t an excuse to talk to him.

“This is going to sound rude, but who are you and why the hell are you talking to me?” He finds your response hilarious, seeing as he laughs lightheartedly at your words. He shakes him head in amusement, letting his laughter die down before holding his hand out towards you.

“How rude of me. I’m Taehyung, I’m one of the members of the fraternity next door.” Your fingers softly grip on his palm as you give it a firm shake. It made sense that he would be attending the party if he was from the Sonyeondan fraternity. They were just as much as parties as your fraternity was.

“I’ve heard quite a bit about the amazing (Full Name), but they weren’t kidding about how beautiful you are.” Taehyung winks playfully as his arm wraps over your shoulder. At the action, you’re pulled closer to his body, making your cheeks flush at the sudden extra body heat.

Sighing, you duck under his hold and scoot farther away with a bittersweet smile on your lips. “How many girls have you used that on, Taehyung? I’ve heard that you’re a bit of a flirt, but this is just disappointing,” Your voice sounds like you’re speaking to a child as your fingers delicately grab his chin.

Taehyung’s cheeks are now a faint shade of scarlet as his face is brought closer to yours. “You’re going to try a little harder if you want to trick me, sweetheart.” Your lips are close to his earlobe and whisper the words into his eardrum as your grip on his chin loosens. His mouth is opened slightly out surprise and you smile as if nothing had happened.

You hum delightedly under your breath as you stood up from your seat and leave him in the crowded living room. When you enter the kitchen, your shoulders are immediately in Hyuna’s tight grip. “Do you know what you just did?” She squeals excitedly, holding your hands in her own. You peek from the kitchen doorway to see Taehyung sitting with his friends, dazedly staring at the carpet. Giggling softly, you take another sip of your beer.

“Only a freshman and you already have some admirers.” Hyuna nudges your shoulder teasingly, laughing giddily. Your cheeks flush and her laughter grows louder. Sighing softly, your lips form a grin when you nudged her in return with no mercy, making her yelp.



“Hey, stop spacing out. You’re starting to freak me out.” Namjoon lightly slaps the back of Taehyung’s head, who is brought back from his train of thought. He stares at his older friend with dazed eyes as he answers with a confused ‘hmm.’

“I know that look, Taehyung. Alright, which one is she?” Namjoon smiles mischievously as he looks around the crowds for any girl that could’ve caught the boy’s interest. Said boy does not respond, but only turns his attention to the kitchen where he can see the familiar face of the mysterious girl with the president of this fraternity.

“You are seriously whipped, you know that?” Taehyung ignores his hyung’s statement as he takes another long drink from his cup and continuing to stare at you from afar. He received another slap to the back of his head, this time from Yoongi.

“Get your ducks in a row and go talk to her again. Don’t think that I didn’t see what was happening earlier.” He mumbles sleepily, readjusting his beanie. Taehyung sighs, shaking his head in response.

“This is a first. The famous Kim Taehyung can’t talk to a girl.” Namjoon chuckles, subtly laughing at his friend’s behavior.

“It’s not that I can’t talk to her-wait. Where did hyung go?” The boy searches for his older friend until he turns to your direction seeing that you were already speaking to him.

“Oh shit.”

Hyuna had left and returned to the crowds to find the others to spill the event, leaving you to drink from your plastic cup. You are surprised to feel a tap on your shoulder and turn to see the one and only Min Yoongi. “Can you do me a favor and give my friend your number?” Your eyes widen as his blunt sentence. His thumb is pointed back to the couch where Taehyung watched with horrified eyes.

You clear your throats and force yourself to not burst out of laughter. “Um, no problem. Tell him I’ll give it to him in class tomorrow.” Yoongi nods his head curtly as he returns to the couch, where you see Taehyung whine to him with a pout on his lips. You snicker as you turn on your heel and finally lock yourself in your room for the rest of the evening.

In the morning during class, Taehyung is surprised when you come sit next to his desk before the lesson starts and hand him a piece of scrap paper. He decided to play it cool and open it until you left. His even more shocked to see the message on the paper and chases after you once the bell rang.

‘Did you think that it’s be that easy, sweetheart? You’ll have to try a little harder. Cheer up, baby. I’m willing to give you a chance.’
Where is She already?!

I want to find a nice girl, who loves to sing and dance, but also is a little shy. I want to brush her hair out of her eyes so I can see into them. I want to feel her arms wrap around me in the middle of the night when she gets cold. I want to make her laugh when she’s sad, and make her smile when she’s mad. I want a girl who understands that shit happens and that it’s not the end of the world if things don’t always go as planned. I want to wake up and see her next to me, in my old hoodie, and a pair of boxers. I want to make her coffee and ask her about her plans for the day. I want to hear how none of what she thought she was going to do happened later that night. I to have hypothetical debates about the most random things, and make inside jokes out of them. I want to make dinner plans, and then just order pizza. I want to play with her rings as she holds my hand, and kiss them every so often to remind her that I never want to let her go. When she believes in something, I want to support her and help her achieve her goals. I want to get a puppy and then argue who’s it is when it gets in trouble. I want to go on random adventures, or do nothing all day, as long as she’s with me. I want to kiss her for no reason other than having her in my life makes me happy. I want to bicker about paint colors, and decor. DAMN IT, I WANT A FUCKING GIRLFRIEND!!!

anonymous asked:

"sometimes you just gotta post some stupid shit" the next day "if you post stupid shit you're in a cult of tryhards"

nah dawg im not saying that. when i said the thing yesterday i meant stupid shit that makes you laugh, or stupid shit that you just want to do to see if you can do it.

the tryhard thing was referring to the people who are very clearly trying to imitate and copy people who are already popular. its like those lets play channels that copy huge lets play channels, but it gets to the point where theyre all the same people with all the same jokes and all the same intros (“hey WHAT is going on everyone”).

The Joker X Reader -“Play Pretend”

The Joker loves having “rehearsal therapy sessions” with you just in case he will end up at Arkham again. The truth is he enjoys playing games and so do you. UNTIL…

“So ,baby, how are you feeling today?” you ask, readjusting your eyeglasses and looking at him. J is tide up in his straitjacket and you even ordered him custom sweatpants with Arkham logo, this way it feels more…official.

“Aroused!” he replies, bouncing his legs up and down like a kid, winking at you. “And you can’t call me baby, you know that. You have to call me Mister Joker.”

You roll your eyes and sigh:
“Kaayyyy, Mister Joker, then you can’t call me anything but Doctor Y/N, you know the rule.”

“Since when you’re a doctor, Princess?”

“Since you’ve became …Mister Joker,” you lift your eyebrows, glaring his way.

“Sassy, aren’t we?”

“Are you really talking like this when you are at Arkham?”, you cut him off, annoyed.

“More or less.”

“Pfftt, I’m surprised they keep you there, I wouldn’t,” you scoff, thinking of your next questions.

“I really like your lab coat, doc,” J keeps on yapping, ignoring what you just said.

“Yeah, special order so it looks even more real. Anyway, next question: tell me about your parents, your mom for example.”

“My mom was a striper,” J pouts, pretending to be sad.

“No, she wasn’t,” you interrupt.

“How would you know?”

“I just do, oh my God, you’re not taking this seriously today, might as well stop,” you anxiously tap on your clipboard with your pen, sulking.

“We never take this seriously, Kitten, it’s for fun.” The Joker’s eye narrow, suspiciously analyzing you. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing!” you immediately bounce back, trying to change your attitude to a more cheerful one. Crap, he noticed you’re distracted. How could you not be when you plan to make your move soon and he doesn’t even know yet? Of course you’re nervous, but it is for the best. You have to be more careful, he can’t catch on. Your plan must go smooth. Jesus, it’s going to be hard though…

“Don’t lie to me,” he growls, wanting to get up from his armchair.

“Sit down, baby, it’s all good. Oops, sorry…Mister Joker,” you giggle, apologizing, keeping that huge, fake smile on your face.

In the meantime, Frost wants to get in the office to talk to you two but he is stopped by the other henchmen.

“Don’t even dare knocking,” Richard warns him.

“Why, what’s going on?”

“He’s in a <therapy session> again,” Richard dramatically uses his fingers for the quote-unquote gestures.

“Again?! It’s the 3rd time this week,” Jonny frowns, unhappy he has to wait now.

Joe lifts his shoulders, knowing there is nothing they can do.

“You know they like to pretend they’re at Arkham, it’s their…thing.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know, I’ll be back in about an hour, maybe they’re be done.”

“Not if they wanna have even more fun after the session,” Richard elbows Frost, chuckling.

“I can’t wait that long, I have important things I have to tell them,” Jonny takes a deep breath, aggravated.

“Don’t matter, man, it’ll have to wait. If you disturb them, it’s on you. I don’t want the boss to kill me.”

In the meantime, you manage to trick your boyfriend that everything is fine and you continue your fake interview with him.

“Can you tell me something about your dad?” you utter, pretending to write down the answer.
“My dad was a striper.”

You burst out laughing.

“Jeez, Mister Joker, you really gotta use that if they catch you again. Do they really buy this crap at Arkham?”

“They have no choice, because I tell them what I want,” he bites his lips, roaring your way. “But you sure look sexy in your new lab coat, Doctor Y/N.”

“Baby, do you ever flirt like this when you’re in there?!” you suddenly realize it and it’s kind of pissing you off.

“Whaaa’? Ne-e-ver! E-ver!”  He didn’t even realize you didn’t call him Mister Joker, you’re onto something here.

“That sounded so unconvincing,” you shake your head, closing one eye and sucking on your cheeks, unamused. Perfect occasion to do what you have to do.

You stand up from the couch and go and sit in his lap. You start caressing his green hair, and then hug him tight.

“What’s wrong, Pumpkin? You have to tell me,” he moves around in his jacket, trying to loosen it. You didn’t really tied him up that bad.

“Nothing, I just want to have some fun,” you flutter your eyelashes at him and get up, go at his desk and take out the duct tape.

“Ohhhh, yeah, let’s get kinky,” J purrs, anticipating all the fun you’ll have, forgetting he sensed something not quite right going on.

“I’m so taking advantage of you, baby,” you giggle, starting to go around him with the duct tape until his upper body is completely stuck to the chair.

“You’re such a bad girl, I love it!” he grins at you and doesn’t understand why you look so upset out of the sudden. “Ok, what is it? It’s driving me nuts,” he asks, antagonized.

You take off your lab coat and you glasses and place them on the desk.

“I’m doing this for you, so please don’t come looking for me, OK?”

Your voice is getting a bit shaky.

“Huh?!”
“I’m really going to miss you, even if you’re a jerk…” you swallow the lump in your throat as you rip a small piece of duct tape from the roll. “ But you’re my jerk and I want you to know you’ll always be my favorite boyfriend,” you sadly smile, leaning over to kiss him.

“What are you talking about, baby Doll?!”

You kiss him again, not answering and placing the duct tape on his mouth.

“Don’t worry, the boys will find you shortly, I just need a head start. Don’t look for me, will you?… Please?… If I’m gone you’ll be safer,” you whimper and you stare in his eyes that got a shade darker.  You stroke his cheek and then abruptly pull yourself together and leave the office, leaving him muttering and struggling to escape, confused and mad at the whole thing.

You didn’t want him to know how you’ve been approached by Gotham’s Secret Service and offered a deal that will erase your heavy  police record in exchange of turning him over to them. You debated for 20 seconds before you already knew you won’t do such a thing; you’re nobody’s puppet. You want to disappear and leave town, maybe even the country if you can. Double crossing the Secret Service seems like a good idea, even if it means leaving the Joker behind. Like you told him, it’s for his own good.

Too bad you got caught at the airport and place in supposedly federal care (or so they told you because the prison you’re in doesn’t resemble Arkham or anything like it). They “accidentally” bruise you up very often, they interrogate you at least once a day and they medicate you against your will with God knows what until you don’t feel like yourself anymore. But you don’t tell them anything even if they probably want to kill you for not disclosing where the Prince of Crime is.

Four months have passed and nothing has changed. Oh, something did: they dislocated your shoulder so now they have to place you in a special type of straitjacket.Today is just another day. You are so groggy from the pills you don’t even fight the guards anymore while they place you in the garment. The security kind of has to drag you to the interview room and they have no problems this time in locking up the chains around your ankles to the floor. You usually put up a fight which triggers them to “Accidentally” slam you around,punch and kick you until they get tired.

You keep on glaring at the floor, tired as hell, having a hard time concentrating.

“So, are you going to tell us where the Joker is? I see you have a bruised eye and busted lip already. You know we can do better than that!” you hear the man’s deep voice addressing you.

“I’m not telling you shit, I don’t care what you do to me,” you manage to say, yawning.

“It will be easier for you if you just give in or there will be more consequences, you know that, right?”

You huff, almost dozing off: “ More consequences than this? Even my boyfriend didn’t do this to me and he’s pretty bad…”

“So you admit The Joker is your boyfriend?”

“U-humm,” you whisper, trying to stay awake.

“Is he a jerk?”

“Ha!” you immediately have an outburst of energy but you still keep your eyes closed…“He can be…”

“Is he good in bed? Did he satisfy your needs when you were with him?”

Even if you’re half asleep, you realize these are very unprofessional questions.

“What ?! It’s none of your business.”

“Do you miss seeing him naked?”

“W-whaaatt?” you finally lift your eyes, slowly blinking.

“Jeez, what did they give you?” the man looks in the papers, trying to find the answer.“Auch, they gave that to me too when I was locked away, totally hated it.”

His voice changed and you feel your heart beating faster. Your cloudy vision rests on the man in front of you: black eyes, long black hair, perfect porcelain capped teeth and such a familiar smirk.

“Jesus Christ!” you almost shout, realizing it’s J in front of you in perfect disguise.

“No, not really, I go by Doctor…ummm” he looks down at the name tag, “Jack Green… I guess?! Please address me as such, I didn’t spend all those years going to college for nothing.”
You can’t make a single sound.

He snickers, amused:

“Wow, Princess, I’m seriously considering getting a new girlfriend: you look like shit!”

“Jerk…” you whisper, your eyes getting teary.

“Did they hide you well or what? Took me forever to find you, this is no Arkham. We’re coming tonight to get you out so be ready. It’s gonna be a tough one,” he gets up and wants to step away but he hears you sobbing and changes his mind.

J comes in front of you, pushes your chair back and sits in your lap.  He wipes your tears, his smirk disappearing as he traces your bruises and your cut lip.

“What the fuck were you thinking, hmmm? Look what they did to you. Crazy woman, if you ever do that to me again I’m going to kill you myself, got it?”

You start crying harder.

“Dammit, stop crying, I’m not gonna kill you, I’m just joking,” he tries to calm you down, kissing your cheek.

“Where are you silver teeth?” you bawl, upset they’re gone.

“I needed a perfect disguise for this place and I had to change them. The things I do for you,” he rolls his eyes, exasperated. “That’s why you’re crying harder? Because of my teeth?!”

You nod a “Yes” through tears.

“You looks scary like this, you’re freaking me out,” you cry some more, burring your face in his chest, sniffling.

“I look scary like this?! With normal teeth?!”

“Yeahhh, please get the silver teeth baaaaccckkkk,” you cry your eyes out and wipe your nose on his coat since you’re tied up in your straitjacket and can’t do too much.

“Classy, baby Doll, you’re such a classy woman,” J smiles, teasing you.

“Shut up,” you press your head against his, snorting. “And get off me, my legs are getting numb,” you pout, pretending to be upset but you can’t remember being so happy before.

“Fine, I have to go anyway! “ he gets his folder and heads towards the metal door. You hear a mumble.
“What did you say, J?” you inquire, not sure if he really said something.

“I said I missed you,” he replies, grouchy you made him repeat. ”Never mind, I take it back, I didn’t. Get ready for tonight!”

“You’re such a jerk!” you shout, but you know he’s just playing around.
“It’s doctor Jack Green, I told you!” he winks at you before he exits the room. “Have some respect!”

Also read-MASTERLIST:

http://diyunho.tumblr.com/post/153664676321/joker-x-reader-masterlist

Health Hazard

I know of someone who had been at Big Box Store X for about a month, and they can already say it sucks and that they don’t see it getting any better. Being a cart wrangler, Employee X anticipated getting shit on by the higher ups, however there was one instance where a customer shit his pants and tried to flush the shitty underwear down the toilet, however it did not go down, so after the customer wiped he proceded to go more on top of the toilet paper wall and shitty underpants.

Also, we’re guessing when he was taking off the pants that poo was spilling out the underwear because there was shit all over the floor and on top of the toilet. This employee was told to clean it up and that’s it.

They didn’t give Employee X anything, just a fucking plunger. So Employee X had to scramble to find anything that they thought would clean it up and get rid of the smell, along with layers of gloves.

Then after it’s all finished, Employee X is walking back, and then gets bitched at that there are no carts at the entrances.

Employee X was just in the middle of a bio hazard and it took a while to clean it all up. Maybe if the idiot boss scheduled more than one cart wrangler then the store wouldn’t have this problem. Or better yet that customer should show some civility and not do that in a store bathroom.

Okay, okay, so I’ve seen a bit of the Karamel relationship for myself now, and I definitely like what I’m seeing.  Love the whole “star-crossed lovers” trope they’re doing.  Two kids from rival planets falling in love is classic.  Mon-el learning Earth culture is also quite possibly one of the greatest things ever (he called Kara’s mom a babe, oh my god).  I feel like him adjusting to Earth is going to end up being everything I ever wanted to see with Hook adjusting to Storybrooke on OUAT.  I seriously wish we had more scenes where he was trying to figure out modern technology.  That would have been awesome, but I’ll definitely take all I can get with Mon-el.  Oh, and we also have Mon-el already being snarky and somewhat flirty with Kara, and sometimes you can tell she’s feeling it, but then she’s like “oh, shit, no.”  Definitely giving me the CS feels on that front.  This is just what I’ve gotten from their first interactions, so stay tuned for more.

sydneybarett  asked:

Rumor has it olicity is gonna rebuild in 5x20. Another person said they DM'd the pap who complained and they said Stephen and Emily are filming a post coitus scene and that it's a closed set. Dunno how legit that that is but as an olicity shipper I'm excited. I just hope it feels earned after all the tainting and slander these writers did towards olicity this season. I wonder what could possibly change between 15 episodes of keeping olicity apart and 5 episodes of bringing them back together. 👀

I honestly don’t see how they are going to get from where they are to that in five episodes, especially with Dragon Lady still in play. Actually, the only thing I can really think of at the moment is that things are going to get substantially worse. As in shit has hit multiple fans. Everything has come to light, they know who Prometheus is, Helix has betrayed Felicity (maybe she’s already on the run from police), Oliver has been outed as the Green Arrow/Cop Killer, and they’re hiding out in wherever that really creepy picture that Marc posted is. Obviously, that’s not the most ideal place for things to happen between Oliver and Felicity, but it’s not about everything being perfect. 

I think it’s going to be a really desperate i need you so much kind of a sex scene. They’re entire worlds are falling apart before their eyes and it’s come down to these two. They can’t ask their friends to go further into hell with them. This is it. In a perfect world there would be apologies, but I can see it being more like “I’m stupid. We’re stupid. What the hell are we doing. This could be our last moment together.” and bam sexy times and a parallel to 3x20 when they also thought that was the last time they would be with each other. 

i’m glad that i don’t really get involved in fandoms anymore (aside from writing anyway)

gryffindor!mark

the hogwarts!got7 au that no one asked for but I desperately needed

Originally posted by igot7-love

warning: slowest burn but super fluffy 

word count: 9.3k 

a/n: hi, this is weird for me to write but tumblr and this world is generally lacking a got7 hogwarts au so here I am. my biggest inspiration for this and what gave me the idea of this was cosykims bts’ hogwarts series . Check it out cause it’s amazing and I love it! also make sure to read my post ‘got7 and their hogwart houses’ so you know what the other boys houses are because they will be mentioned.


  • okay so imma start of with the visuals of markiepoo in gryffindor
  • so i see mark with his brown hair that goes over his forehead like in the fly era cause that shit was truly magical
  • and like he’s always got his uniform in top not condition cause papa tuan was like ‘boi you better stay clean’
  • so he always has his shoes polished and his shirt tucked in and just lOOKS LIKE A PRINCE
  • like he looks like he owns the place
  • and i see him being a prefect and jackson being super pissed and bitter but also proud and supporting
  • cause mark just seems like that ok
  • but let’s talk about when he first got to hogwarts
  • the sorting hat was so conflicted cause like ‘whERE DO YOU GO’
  • he was debating putting mark in ravenclaw but he was like ‘naH no i ain’t doing it’
  • so after forty seconds the sorting has was like “fuck it HE IN GRYFFINDOr”
  • he was like ‘well ok then’
  • and when you first meet mark it was super awkward 
  • like you were in the great hall making your way towards the hufflepuff table and all of a sudden bAm
  • someone bumps into you and grape juice kinda spills soMEHOW???
  • and mark was like ‘ummmmmm… fuck’ 
  • and you were like ‘omG MY UNIFORM whyyyyy’
  • so you were looking for tissues and trying to clean yourself 
  • and poor mark was trying to help but you didnt notice him 
  • so at this point mark was trying to clean it off your cHEST 

Keep reading

noplacelikebooks  asked:

Hi! Could I get some prompts where a person discovers their best friend has been kidnapped for a second time? Thank you so much!

Hey! I can try my best to help, here you go;

*phones rings*

“Hello?”

“We have *characters best friends name*, if you want to see them alive again then meet us-”

“Are you kidding me? Again? Who the hell is this?”

—-

(police officer opens knocks on the door of person A’s house)

“Good evening officer.”

“Evening, we are here to discuss the kidnapping of Person B.”

“Oh, pretty sure we already got them back?”

“No, this kidnapping took place two hours ago.”

“…shit.”

—–

If a comedic approach isn’t what you were going for (its too ironic not to make it funny) then having your character become completed paranoid would be a good response to the situation. Hope this helped <3