i came up with this in 10 seconds

things that got me yelling from episode 69
  • badass pilot davenport
  • “i stole your cousin’s shoes” “and i’m currently wearing them”
  • FINAL BOSS BATTLE
  • all the new music jfc
  • merle finally healing and its the ULTIMATE HEALS MVP POTG
  • *travis rolling for damage against john* “92…” “fuck off”
  • scared taako standing up to john 10/10
  • THE TRIUMPHANT RETURN OF ABRACAFUCKYOU
  • “you’ve solved my goading puzzle” one last you’ve solved my blank puzzle joke i love
  • everyone went unconscious
  • pan!
  • joaquin coming to their world
  • literally everyone that came out of the bonds
  • FREE SAMPLES
  • everyone confused when it seemed clint just started to take over and dm but it was just that 9 second thing
  • “Well. Bye!”
  • the use of Arms Outstretched during the whirlwind like yes fuck me up
  • istus!
  • “And then light.”
  • SCUTTLEBUDDY!
  • taako getting jealous of lucretia when jeffandrew said she was the most powerful person they ever met
  • “Johann was right! We won!”
  • angus makes so many friends and plays soccer now
  • “i’m about to smooch your fucking brains out”
  • P R I N G L E S
  • taako is a media empire bc of course he is
  • “everyone is in House Taako”
  • get shit on sazed literally burn in hell
  • career woman ren i love her so much
  • “my boyfriend is death”
  • the ango and taako hug and the “starting salary is nonnegotiable”
  • Earl Merle
  • merlegaritaville
  • “I know how hard you’re trying.”
  • KILLIAN AND CAREY WEDDING
  • kravitz’s hands are warm contrary to every taakitz fic in existence
  • “I have to shit.” never change magnus
  • carey wearing the bff necklace for her wedding
  • SERVICE DOG TRAINER MAGNUS
  • magnus naming his dog after johann :’)
  • “he found something worth living for” and i found something worth crying for thanks travis for sending that gut punch to me personally
  • just the entire scene where magnus dies surrounded by everyone he cares about
  • J U L I A
  • julia built the cottage for them and im a m e s s
  • “That was the ending you earned.”

goodnight

Figure Skating Charms and a Wealth of Nuance

Haha…so…*guiltily posts this months later* I had this in my drafts 70% completed since episode 10 came out, but with episode 11 and 12 the fandom exploded on other issues, and I thought it was kind of irrelevant since the rings have so many layers of meaning already. But in PASH magazine’s March issue, Kubo-sensei actually brings this up. 

I ended up cleaning this post and after finding out that @sachiro​ was going to make a similar post, we decided to have “pair posts” to submit for victuuriweek. You can read their yoi meta here , which discusses and connects specific moments throughout the series to the points I’ll lay out in the second half of this post.

About Yuuri’s charm. Yuuri has a figure skating precedent for buying jewelry to act as a charm - it isn’t a blasé “lots of good stuff around here…yeah, rings can make good charms, right? idk, but I’m doing it anyway.” Here’s yet another layer.

Charms are a legitimate THING in figure skating.

You won’t read about this in figure skating intros or on Wikipedia, and you won’t hear commentators talk about it either (if it’s brought up, consider it a stroke of luck and immediately save that video/interview forever). Unless you follow skaters to the point of knowing about their personal lives, then this is one meaningful aspect of figure skating that is easy to miss.

Keep reading

The Name Game

The Name Game (m)

Word count: 3.1k

Genre/warning: smut, literally no plot - I legit was having some Tae feels and wanted a dirty talk, fuckboy one shot. So this is the result.

Pairing: Taehyung x Reader

Summary: You invite some of your friends over for a small party. When a tame night in turns into a dirty one. Your friend Hoseok comes up with a fun game for you all to participate in.

You were rushing around your house getting everything ready at the last possible second. It was only some of your closest friends coming over but you still wanted the house to look good. Especially if Taehyung might show up. He said he had to work but he would try and get his shift covered. You felt like such a teenager but you really did have such a big thing for him.

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Radio Silence

by reddit user bencbartlett

36,400,000. That is the expected number of intelligent civilizations in our galaxy, according to Drake’s famous equation. For the last 78 years, we had been broadcasting everything about us – our radio, our television, our history, our greatest discoveries – to the rest of the galaxy. We had been shouting our existence at the top of our lungs to the rest of the universe, wondering if we were alone. 36 million civilizations, yet in almost a century of listening, we hadn’t heard a thing. We were alone.

That was, until about 5 minutes ago.

Keep reading

Yuri!!! On Ice Season 2 - Possible Release Date Being Announced This Weekend

For those of you who don’t know, this weekend Mitsurou Kubo, aka creator of Yuri!!! On Ice, and the directors, artists and voice actors of the show will be hosting an event known as Yuri!!! On Stage. Usually at events these kinds of events, big information is revealed, and that could mean we could be getting some information of the highly anticipated season 2.

Season 2 is already in the works, as animators have already begun working. News has revealed that Kubo should have the script for the next season before the end of this year. Staff members have also been making trips around the world, visiting St. Petersburg and Moscow on more than one occasion. So, this can confirm that season 2 will be taking place in Russia, with Yuuri training with Viktor for the upcoming FS season. (where season 1 left off)

Will we get a trailer this weekend? Who knows if we will. Fans who have been following the writers and staff of the show are highly anticipating one. And the staff is very aware of how badly the fans want their second season. Director Yamamoto stated in an interview that she has plenty of ideas that she wants to put into the next installment, and she came up with these brilliant ideas when she was editing episode 10 of season 1. (When Yuuri and Viktor exchanged rings).

This may hint to something happening between Viktor and Yuuri (wedding), but then again, I’m just assuming things and jumping straight to conclusions. Will we get a wedding in the second season? Again, it is unclear as to right now, but I would keep it in mind. (I sure hope we get it, tbh)

I will be keeping you all posted by giving you updates. If any of you have any questions, please feel free to leave one in my asks box and I’ll get back to you as soon as possible.

Double Your Word Count: A Sprint Game

I cannot take credit for this idea–I read it somewhere on the NaNo forums last year, and since they’re wiped yearly the post I saw is long gone. Someone awesome who isn’t me came up with this, but I love it and want to share it.

Here’s what you do:

Set a timer for 5 minutes and sprint. Record your word count–I played this morning and got 188 words.

Okay, double that to set your goal for the next sprint, 10 minutes. I needed 376 words; I actually wrote 481. Go me!

Double that (my new goal is 962) and do a 20-minute sprint. Oops! I failed the first time, and only wrote 870 words.

If you fail at the goal, you have to try again instead of doubling. My second try: a measly 737. I was getting tired.

I took a break and did some tumblring, then tried a third time.

After a while, I realized I hadn’t actually started my timer, when I thought “Shouldn’t it have gone off by now?” and saw it sitting at 0:00.

But I’d written 1,443 more words, bringing my total for the day to almost 4K. Success, even if I wasn’t actually playing the game anymore.

(If I had reached that goal, the next step would be to double it and do a 40-minute sprint–I’ve tried that twice before and never managed to make it. Fatigue sets in for me, and my most effective writing-time length seems to be 15-20 minutes max, if I’m going for speed. Give it a try, certainly, to see if it works for you!)

Shitty server demands a better tip

A couple months back, my boyfriend and I went out for drinks one night at this cool little “speakeasy” in Montreal. It’s actually quite an interesting place. You come in through a nondescript entrance and the place has a really nice vibe going on once you get inside. Note: this is one of those bars where the server comes to your table and serves the drinks rather than one where you order at the bar and take the drinks back yourself.

We were seated at our table by the server. We ordered a couple cocktails. And then a couple more, and then a couple more after that. Each time we had to order, my boyfriend or I would have to go fetch the server so he would take our order or go up to the bar, order, and then bring the drinks back ourselves.

Then, when it came time for the bill, I went up again so he would come to our table. He came and thought we were going to order again despite me clearly asking for the bill when I went up. So, he went back to get the card machine and it was another ten minutes before he was back. At this point, I was quite ticked off at the not-so-great service and was debating whether or not I should tip him. The screen had an option for 10%, 15%, 20% or “other.” I decided to just leave 10% as I wanted to avoid an argument with the server. Montreal service employees are pretty damn notorious when it comes to the expectation of tips.

Now, he prints out the receipt and takes a look at it and sees I left 10%. He then asks if we had a nice evening, to which my boyfriend responded that we did; we both thought it was just a standard question servers ask so we didn’t bother telling him about the poor service received–especially because it wouldn’t really make a difference at this point. The guy then says, “oh, well if you had such a nice time, than you should’ve left at least a 15% tip. Because, in Canada, it’s customary to leave a minimum 15% when the service is good.” I’m guessing the reason he felt the need to outline that’s how it is in Canada is because I’m a brown guy.

Now comes the petty part. I responded, “oh I didn’t know, why don’t you cancel this bill and redo it so I can tip you properly. He said sure thing, just give me a second because the manager has to approve bill cancellations. Again, we waited a good 10 minutes for him to come back with the new bill. I was happy to wait, though, because once he came back, I put in the PIN and then selected the "other” option for tip and left him 0%. He printed out the receipt and his look of disbelief was well worth it. We got up and my (white Canadian) boyfriend said, “Our only tip for you is to give better service and not be so much of an asshole. In Canada, we don’t really like assholes.”

Shadowhunters Season 2B Theory

I don’t think you can actually call them theories. More like some things I noticed and wanted to share.

Okay, so, we got a trailer for 2B and I watched it frame by frame (I also watched those two 10 seconds teasers again) and these are a few of the things I came up with. 

  • PS: The bold parts are the “main theory” I have for what is going on on the picture.

First of all, based on the trailers/sneak peaks we got for 2A, the clips are (obviously) from different episodes, and because for 2A they used scenes from episodes 1 to 6, I think those scenes are from the episodes 11 to 16 (Paul Wesley directed 2x16 and they were in a lake/snowing location and we can see that same location on the trailer).

Now, to the things I noticed. 

Right at the beginning we see some people, probably werewolves, holding Luke back. [Looks like they’re at the Hunter’s Moon.]

I think someone probably said something about Luke’s leadership and how he got half of his pack killed. I was thinking it could’ve been another werewolf that said that, but if that was the case they would be at the Jade Wolf and not at the Hunter’s Moon. A vampire maybe starts a fight? 

Next we got this shot of Clary, Simon and Jace (in the back) on the middle of a forest. [The part of the location for 2x16 I was talking about.]

I think this is when they [and us] meet the Seelie Queen. I mean, why would they be at a place like that? Plus,

here looks like they’re looking down, searching for something. And here

looks like they’re waiting for something, or someone. Maybe someone to take them to the Seelie Queen? 

After that we got this:

Alec, on the floor of what clearly is Magnus’ loft, with his bow and arrow. My question here is: why is he on the floor of Magnus’ loft with his bow and arrow??? Is someone going to break into Magnus’ and some kind of fight is going to happen? 

Since we’re talking about Alec and Magnus… 

And, like some of you already noticed, looks like the shirt he’s wearing here:

So, same episode I guess? [Alec is going to kiss this beautiful man with a beautiful red (?) eyeshadow and colored strikes in his hair. Alec is a lucky bastard.] ALSO, who is the person he’s talking to? I thought Izzy, but this pink shirt (?) doesn’t look like something she would wear. Maybe Dot? We know Vanessa was shooting a while ago. Or maybe - and please I hope I’m right - Catarina?

We also have this:

To be honest, I don’t care about the context of this. I just want to see them kick some ass together. Hope this is the case. [Also, looks like Alec is wearing the same jacket of the scene he’s on the floor, but then again, I feel like Alec only wears the same jacket, so…]

Badass Magnus is back! Looks like he’s putting some wards up at the Institute (? to me looks like the Institute). [He’s doing the same gesture he did in 2x08.]

And now two actual theories that have.

Izzy is going to be the first one to meet Sebastian. 

- I’ve never seen you at the Institute.

My name is Sebastian.

If I remember correctly, it was said that Sebastian’s first appearance would be in 2x11. Anyway, what I’m thinking is: for whatever reason he’s going to save/help Izzy from vampires. She’s going to have a relapse and go looking for some vampire venom and we all know how that went last time.

But our hero, the great guy, Sebastian will be walking by and save Izzy. He’s going to be like “Yeah, I’m a shadowhunter too. I was going to the New York Institute.” and Izzy will be like “Oh, I live there. I can take you.” and that’s how everyone will meet him. [Maybe not like that, but you get the point.]

And now for second actual theory. Luke is attacking someone [looks like Valentine.]

And, oh, look at that

Same clothes, which means, same episode. In this case I think even the same scene. I actually have a nice theory about this one. Luke is going to see Valentine escaping. Now, why I think that? First of all we can see the wall behind Luke are the walls from here

So, Luke will be visiting Valentine and the Circle will break into the institute [Maybe that’s why Magnus was putting some wards up?] and Luke will have to fight them [hence the sword on his hand, probably takes from a Circle member], but, after a lot of fighting, Valentine will escape anyway, because this is Shadowhunters we’re talking about. Shit like that happens all the time. 

And that’s it for now my people. Thank you so much if you read all of this. lol We still have a long journey until 2B, so if more things are released I might add more stuff, maybe change others. 

Like always, let me know what you think! 

Cashew Butter and Peach Chia Jam w/ a Lemon Cake Protein Shake

Mom. Mom. Mom? Can I be five for just awhile longer? I don’t want grown-up foods! OK, in all seriousness PB&J is not simply kid food. It’s just–

economical, delicious, nutritious.

Y’know how sometimes you have all these laborious, foodie foods in the fridge and you decide, “but, I really just want a PB&J.”

–well, I guess CB&J. That, or a bowl of cereal. …Tangent.

Cashew Butter

Cashew butter doesn’t really have much in the way of instructions. It’s actually way easy and there’s no reason to spend some of the outrageous grocery prices. I’m not going to tell you anything Earth shattering or revolutionary. I, in no way, came up with this. I’m just parroting the most basic instruction I’ve come across.

  • 8 oz of unsalted cashews
  • salt, to taste (or if you can only pin down lightly salted, nix this)
  • 1 TBSP lightly flavored oil

Directions: All you do is throw the cashews in the food processor and run it on low for 5-10 minutes, scraping down the sides when necessary. Then, toss in the oil and process again for 30 seconds. Add in any salt or flavorings you desire, and process again for 30 seconds. Store in the fridge. Pro-Tip. It gets really hard to spread after chilling so when I take my portion for a sandwich I nuke it for 30 seconds in the microwave.

Peach Chia Jam

  • ½ lb peaches, peeled, pitted, and cut into chunks
  • 3 TBSP chia seeds
  • juice of one lemon
  • ½ tsp lemon zest
  • 1 oz of water (depending on ripeness of peaches)
  • 1 TBSP brown sugar (or whatever sweetener you prefer)

Directions: Prepare the peaches. In a small saucepan, add all the ingredients except the water and heat it up over high a high heat. Stir very frequently. If your peaches are a little on the unripe side and not readily rendering their liquids, add a little bit of water. Once it begins to bubble, take the heat down to low and continue to stir until it begins to thicken slightly. Take it off the heat and let it cool slightly. Transfer to a blender and puree. Let the chia continue to gel in the fridge for several hours before serving.

Lemon Cake Protein Shake 

…for a half-size (double if you’d like as a post workout)

  • ½ cup unsweetened almond milk
  • ½ cup ice (or double the milk if you ain’t got time for that)
  • ½ scoop unflavored protein powder
  • 1 TBSP French Vanilla flavor syrup (I used sugar free Torani)
  • splash of lemon extract
  • sweeten, to taste (if the flavor syrup alone doesn’t quite do it for you)

Directions: Place all ingredients except the ice into a blender and let ‘er rip. Add the ice and blend again; use ice crush if that’s an available setting. If you’re going the double-milk route and omitting the ice it will mix up in a shaker cup just fine!

See! That wasn’t so difficult and nothing really beats homemade!

missing you - tom holland imagine #4

Originally posted by spiderholland

about : Tom is away at SDCC while promoting Spider-Man Homecoming. Things start to go downhill as a Facetime call ensues and jealousy arises. 


Warnings : a teeny bit sad. drunk tom!


-


The ID caller showed up on your phone and you grinned, flopping down onto the bed as you answered the call. Tom’s smiling face filled your screen and you giggled, greeting him with a simple ‘hello Thomas’.

“Y/N! It’s crazy here!” Tom shouted, “I’ve never seen anything like this before! There were thousands of people on the panel it was insane!”

“Are you having fun?” You asked, a small yet tired simper reaches your lips.

“Loads! Everyone’s amazing! Laura is here, Jacob is here, Tony is here, oh and Zendaya is here too!” He continued to ramble on about how everyone had secretly arrived to the convention but your heart sank at her name.

Tom was an extremely sweet person, and he was definitely good-looking. Your biggest fear from letting him leave to Atlanta was him finding someone new. What if he found someone else prettier, smarter and better than you? Maybe he was already tired of you.

And it didn’t help that Zendaya was a part of your worry. She was the kind of girl you’d always want to be. She was gorgeous and successful, not to mention extremely talented. You let your insecurity get the best of you sometimes and you would always feel a bit glum whenever you saw them together. However, Tom wasn’t aware that you felt that way.

“Isn’t Zendaya pretty?” you piped up randomly, playing with the hem of your sweatpants.

“Yes, she is. Why?” Tom sounded confused. He looked at something behind the camera and he laughed, slapping his chest.

“Oh, that’s amazing, Z,” he chuckled before looking back at you on the phone, “sorry babe, were you saying something?”

You were about to say something before he interrupted you, laughing again and talking to someone you could only assume was Zendaya. You could hear her laughter too and you flinched, feeling annoyed. Anger and jealousy was already bubbling inside of you. Rolling your eyes, you scoffed at how he was so oblivious to you on the phone as he dropped his phone to his side so all you could see was his pants.

This was the first time in days he had facetimed you, and you felt so put off by how he wasn’t even paying attention to you.

Pissed off, you pressed the end call button hardly, ending the facetime. You put your phone beside you and picked up your laptop, trying to calm yourself down.

It seemed like the world wanted to rub everything in your face when you clicked on a random song on your spotify. Everything I’m Not by The Veronicas came on and you gasped, throwing up your arms in anger.

“Oh, come on!” You yelled at no one in particular.

The song blasted on your speakers and you sighed, letting it play.

Your phone beeped once.

Twice.

Thrice.

Tom’s face popped up on the screen, indicating a call coming in from him.

You ignored it, letting the ringtone play amongst the loud tunes of The Veronicas.

It stopped for a few seconds before ringing again. This time you decided to decline the call.

A text came in. You peeked.

Tom x : babe, what’s up? u  just hung up?

10. 50 pm

Tom x : y/n? Im gonna call u again.

10. 52 pm

Tom x : why did u decline the call?

10. 58 pm

Tom x : did i do something wrong?

11. 05 pm

You snorted, picking up your phone and typing a quick reply.

Me : idk ask zendaya lmao

Me : im gonna sleep. Have fun at comic con.

Just as you were about to put away your phone, it vibrated.

Tom x : I think I know what’s going on. Are you jealous of Z?

11.08 pm

Tom x : I hope you know I love you, and that I will never eye another girl that’s not you. I understand how you feel, I get sad whenever I think of all the other boys that are with you everyday. So i dont blame you. But you can trust me love. I promise.

11.09 pm

Tom x : z and i are just friends, nothing more babe. Im way too in love with you. Also im sorry if ive been distant. I miss you so much and i havent been able to really talk to you. Ive been very busy with work and everything else i just idk i feel really guilty now.

11.11 pm

 

Tom x : call me back when u wanna talk. Im sorry, i love you. Xx

11.13 pm

You sighed, giving in. You could tell he was feeling really crappy about it as you watched a livestream of the convention. Marvel was holding a livestream for the interviews and you saw Tom pop up in the screen when you opened the website.

His eyes were downcast even though he had a small smile on his face. Tom was less energetic and gave the interviewer half-assed answers. He kept crossing and uncrossing his arms and he fidgeted a lot on his feet.

His iPhone was gripped tightly in his hand, and every few seconds he went to check it.

Probably for my reply, you thought.

When the interviewer ended, you saw him walk away from the camera. The interviewer was about to interview Lupita Nyong’o next when another text from Tom came in.

Tom x : love i really am sorry. maybe u went to sleep already. Im sorry. I love you. Goodnight. Xx

11.25 pm

“Meh screw it,” you mumbled, pressing the call icon on his contact name.

He picked it up immediately after the third ring.

“Hello?” he said quickly.

“It’s okay,” you sighed, slumping on the bed, “sorry, I just got jealous. I shouldn’t have hung up on you like that.

“It’s just..I miss you so much Tom. And we haven’t facetimed in so long and.. I don’t know I was pretty pissed off by how you weren’t paying attention to me.”

“I know, I know,” you could hear his guilt from across the line, “I’m really sorry. There’s just been a lot going on right now.”

You sighed, “okay, now go and have fun. We can talk more later. I’m not mad at you anymore so don’t worry.”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive, I’ll be fine,” You lied through your teeth, even mustering a fake smile.

Tom hummed, before speaking again, “I’ll call you when you wake up. I love you so much, Y/N. Goodnight, love.”

“Goodnight,” you mumbled back as you hit the ‘end call’.

Grabbing a pillow from the top of the bed, you clutched it tightly into your chest as sobs began to rack through your body. The tears didn’t stop flowing, even after half an hour.

You’d think he would notice that you really weren’t okay.

You missed him so much.

And it already felt like, to you, he was slowly drifting away.

-

The next morning was horrendous. You woke up to the feel of your soggy pillow and puffy eyes. Rubbing your face, you snuggled further into your duvet.

There was no way you were going out today. Your heart felt the heaviest it had felt in a long time and nothing seemed to motivate you to get out of bed.

You missed him too much.

Making calls to everyone, you apologised for not feeling well and rescheduled everything.

Nothing mattered more than the ache in your heart. If your mind wasn’t in the game, there would be no point in getting into the game in the first place.

You decided to check your notifications and was surprised by the amount of texts Tom had sent in.

Tom x : Good morning, babe. I hope you slept well. I’m out here in San Diego, in some bar. Missing you. 💛

7.30 am

Tom x : I hope you’re not angry anymore. It’s been bothering me the whole day. I’m still sorry.

7.45 am

Tom x : baEb i lpve you si much…….im sorry yoi think i luv zebdaya….i dont… i love you im sorry

8.30 am

Tom x : jacOb says in Drunk! Haha@ he keeps tellinf me that i should go homE

8.35 am

Tom x : i sAid wherE? LonDon? He saiD no You IdioT the Hotel

8.36 am

Tom x : i saiD it aInt HoME UNLESS y/n is wit me

8.38 am

Tom x : jeusu chrisy i lovw you

9.00 am

Tom x : i jusT PUKED  I WISH YORE HERE Y/N YOU MAKe me FEEL BETTER

9.28 am

Tom x : I MISS YOUUUY

9.35 am

You stared at the screen, taking it all in.

Tom got drunk last night.

Yet, all his words seemed so sincere. Just before you could exit the chat, a new message came in.

Instead, this was from Harrison.

Haz O : hey y/n, i think you probably read the drunk texts tom has been sending. just want to tell you. tom has been drinking a lot for the past 2 hours. he’s upset, y/n. after he puked on the sidewalk, he cried. he cried about how much he missed you and how he didn’t deserve you. that you lie when you say you’re okay. he said that it would be easier if you both broke up. you could find someone better. so, stop being mad at tom. there’s nothing going on between z and tom. If they did, i would’ve told you. he’s feeling so guilty for no reason.

You felt hot tears gathering at the side of your eyes. He was beating himself up because of your jealousy. Guilt took over you as you fumbled to type out a quick reply. A plan was already forming in your head and although it involved a lot of money, you knew it would help in fixing this problem.

It was probably too reckless and spontaneous, but you had enough of missing Tom and clearly, Tom was sick of missing you too.

You : I’m getting on the next flight to San Diego. Take care of Tom for me. x

Bachelor's party

My friends took me out to do the normal bar hop/strip club deal. And i did get a wonderful bj from an asian stripper. But before all that happened my sister had insisted on going with me and my friends because she hadnt gone out in a long time. So my beat friend Sam and i got a hotel room and my sister got her own, my 3 other friends planned to go home after. After the first strip club my sister said she had a surprise for me after the outings that i would never forget, and better than any strip club.So after the second strip club and 3rd bar, it was just sam, me and my sister. So we decided to head back to the hotel and finish with some drinking games and music. After about 20 min of some drinking games and close dancing/grinding between me and my sister and sam and my sister, there was a knock on the door. My sister got up to answer it and said she had another game to play when she got back.She came back with my mother in hand. Mybsister was wearing a short skirt and low cut top, my mother was in a knee length loose dress. I was sitting in an armless chair and sam was on the bed. My sister said it was time for my surprise and put on music from her phone. She and my mother started dancing while sam and i watched. The started grabbing each other, grinding into each other, then making out. After about 2 songs my sister reached under my mothers dress and started rubbing her mound. They whispered for a few seconds the my mom went to sam and my sister to me and started giving us a lap dance.My mom laid at the edge of the bed and my sister went up and started sucking sam. I didnt hesitate and started eating the cum from my mothers pussy until she came on my face then i started fucking her and shared some of sams cum with her in a passionate kiss. I fucked my mom while my sister got sam hard again. About 10 min. I stopped before i came and told my sister it was time for me to fill her. She sucked my cock for a minute or two the told me she wanted to see sam cum in my ass while i came in her. After everything that had happened so far we had agreed eagerly. So my sister laid on the bed, i got between her. My mother licked and finger my ass for a minute then guided sams cock into my ass. After about 5 min i got comfortable and pushed into my sister. Afyer we got a good rythm it only took my about 3 min to cum the hardest i think ive ever came deep in my sister. Sam still pounded my ass for another few minutes while i just stay buried in my sister before he came in my ass. After he pulled out my sister and i made out and my mother cleaned out my ass. After an hour or so of recouping the fucking went on for another hour or so. Every one got a turn that night but only i came in my sister. She had our second child about 7months after my wedding.

Archie’s Unofficial List of Bad RPer Red Flags

A’ight so I’ve been roleplaying for a while, about nine years now, and let me tell you, I’ve had some awful RP partners. From sexual predators to emotionally manipulative people, and I’ve picked up a lot of red flags that I saw some time in my relationship with these people, so I figured being the RP senpai that some people see me as, I’d write them down.

  1. They’re not interested in your character. The best RP partners I’ve had over the years roleplay with me because they love my character, they love their character, and they love what our characters can do together. They want to know about my character so they can make plots accordingly, and spitball ideas. It seems obvious, but if someone’s not interested in your character but very interested in RPing with you, I’d call that a red flag.
  2. RPing with them feels like a privilege. I can’t even tell you the amount of times I’ve had a bad RP partner and didn’t know it yet, and when we were still RPing, it felt like whenever we got to do one on one sessions, that I was taking up their valuable time. That’s definitely a red flag.
  3. They’re just a little too nice.  They’re just too nice for comfort. They like all of your posts, they give you gifts, want to spend a lot of time with you, all of which are benign usually, but with them it just feels weird. Another HUGE red flag after this one is that this niceness doesn’t stay. After getting to know them, they stop trying to win you over and their personality completely changes.
  4. They don’t make time for you. I remember one RP partner in particular who would always be off RPing with a mutual friend of ours, and our RP always came second. It’d take him hours to post on a medium where replies were expected within 5-10 minutes if not sooner, and whenever this was brought up, he called me way too clingy, and said he just didn’t have time to RP more often than that, despite RPing with our mutual friend for hours at a time.
  5. They get jealous if you RP with someone else. While jealousy happens from time to time, with them, it’s excessive. If you roleplay with someone else, they need to know who it is and what you’re RPing. If you don’t want to tell them, obviously you’re trying to sabotage your RP with them. This behavior is a giant red flag, and I’d say to cut them loose immediately if you experience it.
  6. They surround themselves with typically weak-willed people. This one took me a long time to spot, but a lot of the bad RPers that I have will surround themselves with people who have very poor self-esteem or come off as very passive. A friend and I once had the same bad RP partner, and they come off as very cute and spunky where I come off as more assertive, and, unsurprisingly, they clung to my seemingly-weak-willed friend instead of me, because they were easier to manipulate in the bad RPer’s eyes.
  7. They need to be in control of an RP. If they’re not in control, they freak out. Often times they’re the one who comes up with the plots, and any you run by them gets shut down. While they’re free to do whatever they want to their character to hurt you, if you do anything to yours, it’s crossing the line.
  8. They play games with you. They ask you seemingly benign questions then will explode if you say the wrong answer, they sabotage your RP that’s not with them, they see how far they can push you before you bite back.
  9. They spy on your roleplay. This one’s pretty self-explanatory and really only applies to MMO settings, but they spy on their RP on an alt character.
  10. They will take IC into OOC. This can go in so many different directons and I’ve had it taken in different directions, but taking a romantic RP as that you’re flirting with them OOC, if you have a fight OOC and it transfers to their character being mad for no reason IC, or if they start talking shit about you to others because they don’t like the way that something happened ICly, drop them.
  11. They make it so that you can only RP with them. Let’s say they convince you to drop your characters together in some lost and forgotten section of the world until further notice,  or your character is in a position where they can’t function without the bad RPer’s character being with them.
  12. They have nothing good to say about anyone around you. They’re the kind of person who you dread bringing up new people you’ve met, because they’re immediately going to say “Oh, yeah two years ago they said something sort of racist.” or “I heard they meta-game out the ass” or anything else negative.
  13. They discourage you from meeting new people. This is another one that I didn’t pick up on for a while, but often times I see it in toxic RP partners that they don’t want to meet new people, and encourage others to follow in their way, either by talking shit about city RP or doing what was mentioned above in 12.
  14. If they do something, it’s fine. If you do the same thing, it’s cause for a war. This is another one that I’ve had a lot of experiences with. If they kill off their character out of the blue, you’re being unreasonable for being upset. If you kill off your character after asking them and planning it for weeks, you’re a bad RP partner.
  15. They constantly play the victim. They can do no wrong, someone is always wronging them. If you have a fight with them, even if they’re undeniably in the wrong, it’s your fault, and you have to apologize.

These are really only a few, but here’s some red flags for you! Feel free to reblog with ones that I may have missed or fall out of my experience. These are all taken from many of the bad experiences or RP partners I’ve had over the years.

Fuck
I just woke up
And for a second I forgot
Forgot my dysphoria
Forgot that I’m not a cis boy
And then everything came back
The crushing weight on my chest (literally)
The pain
The hatred
Everything
—  The 10 seconds of bliss before everything comes rushing back

Not a “fuck customer” but a “fuck coworker” and by coworker, I mean someone on literally their second day while still training.
She came in yesterday looking stoned as all hell. Now I don’t care if someone smokes. Toke up all you want. But for the love of God, if you’re going to do it, can you at the very least make sure you’re sober enough to function? Not only did she drop two boxes filled with a dozen donuts, she almost somehow managed to squeeze 14 in a dozen box. She came in around 7 am and by 10:30 she was already complaining to my manager about when she would be able to leave. “I just have REEEEAAAALLLLYYY important stuff to do.” Okay? But during the second interview you and the manager usually agree on what day you can start?
Now today was a disaster. Like yesterday, she stood around as everyone is running back and forth trying to keep up with the rush. She took no initiative in doing anything and was in the way 90% of the time. My manager told her to help the woman doing front counter. That lasted five minutes. She comes to the drive thru as my manager is making the drinks and says that she doesn’t wanna be up front because “she keeps yelling at me.” And “I don’t know what I’m doing.” 1) she is not yelling at you. She is trying to train you while take orders while everyone is trying to get in and out so they can get to work on time. 2) which is why you’re upfront. Because you CANNOT keep up in drive thru.
So my manager gives her the easiest task in the entire store. Fill the cups with coffee. Simple, right? Naw. I wouldn’t be typing this is that worked. She was told to stay in one place. Just fill the cups with the right coffee. Doesn’t listen. Manager steps away to grab a turbo shot and this girl proceeds to make the next coffee. Spills MILK AND SUGAR AND ICE EVERYWHERE. So not only does my manager have to remake a drink during a rush (if you’ve ever worked in FF, you know just how easy it is to fall behind) she has to take the time to clean it all up all while still somehow make all the drink orders.
In between taking an order and typing it in, I can hear bits and pieces of what my manager is saying to her. She asks her to leave and come back some other time when there isn’t a rush so she can be trained properly. Now I haven’t really heard this coworker speak long enough to really hear how she sounds, but I don’t think it’s normal to slur your words. The kicker in all of this is that she has apparently worked at a Dipping Donuts before. So not only does she technically have experience but somehow has no idea what she’s doing, she’s more than likely come to work High and possibly drunk. I don’t care what you do in your free time. You do you. But is it too much to ask that you don’t do these things while on the clock?

i showed him my rimmy tim art and he went “you drew that?” and i cant remember what he said after that but then “my parents wanted to know what my new hair looked like so i just sent them [your drawing] and went ‘basically that’” and cha boi may have left the earth for like 10 seconds

amitcanthandleit  asked:

Hi there, I live for your writing💖💖💖💖 so I was hopping that you could make a hadcanon for the rfa+v+saran+vanderwod. If they were on the beach with mc who's doing some back taning when some kid stole her top. What would they do? Sorry if my English is not the best...

Hello @amitcanthandleit ! :) 

Oh my God this was so fun to write, thank you! 😄 I’m not super familiar with the minor trio yet, so let me know if I got some of their traits/reactions wrong 😄 Enjoy!

(Your english is fine btw! Don’t tell yourself otherwise :) )

Yoosung

  • Super excited to go to the beach with you like he’s already thinking about all the fun you guys will have
  • But after some fun under the sun, you tell him you want to work on your tan and you ask him to apply some sunscreen on your back
  • Turns into a stuttering, blushing mess
  • Specially when you untie the strings of your bikini top and lie down on your stomach
  • You put aside your top and Yoosung is so tense, he doesn’t know where to look
  • But theeeen a little kid runs over and grabs your top and Yoosung panics
  • He stumbles over his own feet trying to catch the kid
  • But when he finally does, he starts screaming at the kid and the kid starts to cry
  • Ends up apologizing and comforting the kid ;;;
  • When he comes back, he’s exhausted but hey, he got your top back
  • The next time you guys go to the beach and you want to work on your back tan, he makes sure to stay close to you and hang on to your top at all times

Zen

  • Babe, you can’t go to the beach wearing a bikini”
  • “All men are wolves, babe” ;;; specially me
  • He doesn’t really stop you though, because he wants you to wear what you like
  • He has to constantly remind himself to push the beast back inside its cage
  • He’s oblivious to the looks that girls are giving him because he’s worried that other guys might try to make moves on his princess
  • He goes to buy you guys some cold shakes and doesn’t bother making small talk with the people who are trying to get his attention
  • Is actually impatient because he wants to get back to you ASAP
  • When he comes back and sees you laying on your stomach and your top on the towel beside you, he freaks out
  • As he was putting down the drinks though, a kid snatches your top and runs away
  • Thanks to all his exercises, Zen runs after the kid and catches him in no time
  • Sternly lectures the kid and runs back to you
  • “Zen the knight to the rescue!”
  • He returns your top and when you’ve put it back on, he holds you close and tells you he’ll always be there to protect you and keep you safe
  • Keeps your top safe next time you guys go to the beach

Jumin

  • You want to go to the beach? Arranges for a trip to his own private island (what else do you expect from him? ;;;)
  • You want to tan without your top? Go ahead, there won’t be anybody around since he owns the island
  • Even his bodyguards are instructed not to come near the area where you’re tanning
  • Of course you didn’t really get to work on your tan much, since your husband kept distracting you with “accidental” brushes to your body
  • And he’s actually the one who steals your top and refuses to give it back until he gets what he wants wink wink
  • “I think we should do this more often, darling. It’s quite refreshing.”

Note: For me, Jumin’s more conservative when he’s around other people because of who he is and the image he needs to maintain sooo he wouldn’t really allow his wife to go to a public beach and remove her top but we all know what he’s like when nobody’s watching ;)

Saeyoung

  • You’re going to the beach? Yahoo!!!!!
  • Is super excited because he rarely got out of the house before he met you
  • This guy will probably bring water guns and inflatables to the beach :))
  • When you tell him you want to work on your tan, he gives you a salute and puts the robot cat right in front of you
  • “Saeyoung, is that the one that breathes fire?”
  • “I have no idea what you’re talking about MC!!!!”
  • You take off your top and lie down and begin to relax when you hear kids shouting and crying
  • “Saeyoung, what was that?”
  • Apparently a couple of kids were making a bet about who could steal your top and get away with it
  • So when they got too close Saeyoung held up his water gun and sprayed them
  • With PhD Pepper
  • And when their parents came by demanding to know who made their kids cry
  • “Sensing threat. I will self-destruct in 10 seconds unless you apologize meow~ 10…9…8…”
  • “Saeyoung no, turn it off!”
  • “I can’t, MC! It’s gonna blow!!!!”
  • The parents are terrified and run away
  • But they tell the cops
  • It’s a good thing you can run as fast as Saeyoung
  • You never go back to that beach again in case someone recognizes Saeyoung and calls the cops again ;;;;

Saeran

  • He’s heard of the beach but has never been there so he’s a bit nervous
  • Specially since you’re only wearing a bikini
  • Specially when you ask him to put sunscreen on your back
  • Oh boy, he turns red and avoids looking at you while he’s slathering your back with sunscreen
  • And then you untie your bikini top to start tanning and he goes red and sort of angry like MC must you really do this???
  • Is silently fuming because he doesn’t want anybody else to see his girlfriend’s body when this kid rushes over to steal your top
  • But Searan has lightning fast reflexes
  • Grabs the boy by the back of the neck and gives him a death glare
  • Doesn’t even need to say anything, the boy just shit his one-piece swimsuit
  • You don’t know what to feel because your boyfriend saved you but at the same time the little boy ran away crying and smelling really bad
  • Nobody even dares to look in your direction, they’re too scared of the looks Saeran’s giving them ;;;
  • Relieved when you finally put your top back on and takes you home, telling you he never wants you to go to the beach again

V

  • It’s been a while since he’s been to the beach and he’s really excited to take a lot of photos of the scenery and of course, you
  • His eyesight still isn’t so good and he brings his cane to the beach but you still have fun with him and you make sure he doesn’t leave your sight
  • When you two are relaxing, you ask him to apply sunscreen to your back
  • He’s actually fine with applying sunscreen on your back since he doesn’t want his beloved to get sunburnt, specially since you only had on bikini
  • But when you tell him you’re taking off your top he turns red and immediately averts his gaze
  • But still, he can’t resist taking a photo of you lying on your tummy under the sun, looking so serene
  • Until he hears fast footsteps coming closer to you
  • He turns just in time to see a kid snatching your bikini top
  • And he couldn’t run after the kid because he couldn’t see well
  • Lets you wear one of his shirts and you had to cross your arms as you guys go to a stall that sells swimwear
  • Apologizes profusely afterwards and but you just shrug it off and you guys laugh about it after

Vanderwood

  • You manage to get him to agree to take you to the beach
  • But he immediately regrets it
  • MC, stahp
  • Loosen up a little, Vanderwood
  • Only one thing can be loose here, MC, and I’d rather it not be your top!!!
  • Stress level: 1000/10
  • Acts like he doesn’t care that you’re topless beside him but is actually surveying the area for guys who are looking your way
  • He doesn’t notice that girls are ogling him too because of course he’s ripped, he used to be a secret agent!
  • You’re about to put your top back on when a kid runs over and steals your top
  • Vanderwood is on his feet and tackles the poor kid to the ground
  • “You wanna get tasered, kid???”
  • Gets back your top and acts like it wasn’t a big deal but is actually panicking inside like what if I hadn’t gotten her top back on time oh my God
  • But when you thank him and kiss his cheek, this cutie just looks away but you don’t miss the slight blush on his cheeks
The Interview (Tom Holland X Journalist!Reader)

Pairing: Tom Holland X Journalist! Reader

Requested: Just helping out my boo @spideyyss

Warnings:Language, Sexy Tom

Word Count: 805

Tags: @parkersenses @grant-valdes-holland @underoosie @tom-cinnamon-holland @thelifeofanengineeringstudent @lil-spidey @parkerroos@tomsspidey@sunrisehunny @peterletmebeanavengerparker @spideyboys@jor-da-na@captainswriting @quacksoff @spideyr00s @spideyyss@tomhollandisthicc@marvelsdaughter @babyparker @spideyyparker@rooyeun @focused-on-holland @peterfightmeparker

A/N: IF YOU WANT A PART 2 SEND ME AN ASK REQUESTING IT… IF I GET ENOUGH ILL WRITE IT.

________________________________________________________________I was super nervous. They gave me a huge assignment for my first video interview. I was supposed to sit down and interview Tom Holland. He was just a few months older than me but he was so famous…. As if I wasn’t already nervous about my first interview of course i got stuck with the most handsome, funny, british guy I have ever seen. Not that I was complaining. But what if I stutter? What if I embarrassed myself in front of him? What if- No. I need to stop and start writing questions. I stayed up til 3 am writing questions to ask him. I don’t like using the standard interview questions. They were so basic and they got annoying after a while. I liked to surprise people with interesting questions. I had a list of about 30 questions of when I decided to get some sleep. As soon as I woke up I drank three cups of coffee, grabbed my outfit, which consisted of black and white web leggings, a vintage Spiderman t shirt, and a denim vest with marvel patches on it. I threw my hair up in a bun, grabbed my purse, and drove over to the studio. After going through the fun process that was hair and makeup I was told that Tom was in the building. My heartbeat immediately picked up. I kept reading over my questions and trying to calm myself. Finally it was time. I walked onto the set and sat in the tall chair they provided for me. I had my note cards in hand. Suddenly I see a curly brown mop of hair and there he is, in all of his chocolate eyed glory. He came and shook my hand “Hello darling. You must be (Y/N).” He says with a blinding smile. “Tom hi! Wow you are gorgeous.” It takes me about 10 seconds to realize that I said that out loud. “Oh my god that is so embarrassing I am so sorry.” I say quickly, the tips of my ears and my cheeks turning pink. “You’re quite alright. I’m flattered that the beautiful woman I just met thinks I’m gorgeous.” He said with a chuckle and a dazzling grin. “We’re about to start. Tom could you take your seat?” The videographer said. Tom nodded and took his seat.  They signaled the count down and I try to breathe and smile. “Hi everyone! (Y/N) (L/N) here interviewing Tom Holland.” I say gesturing at Tom. “Hello everyone!” Tom says cheerily, waving at the camera. “So Tom, I’ve compiled a list of questions from our viewers and a few that i wrote myself.” I said, waving the cards in my hands. “Go for it, Love.” He says with a smile. “If you had to have a food for hands that you could eat and they would regenerate every night, what food would you pick?” I ask reading from the card and then looking up at him. “Hmmmmm…. I’m gonna have to say chocolate. Because it’s delicious.” He said looking at his hand, shrugging and looking up at me. “But what if they melt?” I say reasonably. “Shit you’re right. Then….. Rock candy.” He says. “That was my answer too!  Next question, What is the last picture you took on your phone?” I ask. “It’s actually a picture of Tessa. She’s such a little angel.” He says pulling out his phone and showing me the picture. “She’s adorable! I want one.” I say, cooing over the little fur baby. “Maybe you could come visit her one day.” He says with a wink. I blush and giggle. “Next question, What was the weirdest prank call you’ve ever made?” “Harrison and I once prank called Anthony Mackie…. He wasn’t too happy about it.” To says with a laugh. I laugh and smile imaging how he reacted. “ALRIGHT AND WE ARE BREAKING FOR LUNCH!” The cameraman says. Tom stands up and comes over to me. “I have a question for you now.” He says. I look at him with wide eyes. “All these questions and you still haven’t asked me out… I’m a little disappointed.” He says smoothly. My jaw drops. Did TOM FUCKING HOLLAND just hit on me? “Are you serious? You wanna go out with me?” I ask, my eyes wide. “You’re smart, funny, a little weird, and absolutely stunning, darling. Of course I want to take you out.” He says, brushing a loose strand of hair behind my ear. “Okay then. Thomas Stanley Holland, will you do me of the immense pleasure of going out with me?” I ask, very dramatically. “Why of course I will angel. And I will definitely show you immense pleasure…..eventually.” He says with a wink. I cannot believe this. I have a date with Tom Holland. Holy shit.   

Jon Snow’s Top 10 Lies

1. He lied so he wouldn’t have to hang out with his friends: 

“My lord, will you sup with us? Owen, shove over and make room for Jon.”
Jon wanted nothing more. No, he had to tell himself, those days are gone. The realization twisted in his belly like a knife. They had chosen him to rule. The Wall was his, and their lives were his as well. A lord may love the men that he commands, he could hear his lord father saying, but he cannot be a friend to them. One day he may need to sit in judgment on them, or send them forth to die. “Another day,” the lord commander lied. “Edd, best see to your own supper. I have work to finish.”

2. He lied to his best friend about why his girlfriend was crying:

“I will.” Sam sounded relieved. “My lord, if I might ask … I saw Gilly leaving. She was almost crying.”
“Val sent her to plead for Mance again,” Jon lied, and they talked for a while of Mance and Stannis and Melisandre of Asshai, until the raven ate the last corn kernel and screamed, “Blood.”
“I am sending Gilly away,” Jon said. “Her and the boy. We will need to find another wet nurse for his milk brother.”

3. He lied to the wildlings about the defenses at the Wall:

After each day’s march the Magnar summoned him to ask shrewd sharp questions about Castle Black, its garrison and defenses. Jon lied where he dared and feigned ignorance a few times, but Grigg the Goat and Errok listened as well, and they knew enough to make Jon careful. Too blatant a lie would betray him. But the truth was terrible. Castle Black had no defenses, but for the Wall itself.

4. He lied to Mance about his loyalties and lied about belonging to Ygritte:

“Ygritte stepped in front of Jon. “You can’t kill a man for lying to protect them as was his brothers.”
“They are still his brothers,” declared Styr.
“They’re not,” insisted Ygritte. “He never killed me, like they told him. And he slew the Halfhand, we all saw.”
Jon’s breath misted the air. If I lie to him, he’ll know. He looked Mance Rayder in the eyes, opened and closed his burned hand. “I wear the cloak you gave me, Your Grace.”
“A sheepskin cloak!” said Ygritte. “And there’s many a night we dance beneath it, too!”
Jarl laughed, and even Harma Dogshead smirked. “Is that the way of it, Jon Snow?” asked Mance Rayder, mildly. “Her and you?”
It was easy to lose your way beyond the Wall. Jon did not know that he could tell honor from shame anymore, or right from wrong. Father forgive me. “Yes,” he said.

5. He lied to Mance about how many men were at the Fist:

“The question is, how many?”
Jon’s face was throbbing, the snow kept coming down, and it was hard to think. You must not balk, whatever is asked of you, Qhorin had told him. The words stuck in his throat, but he made himself say, “There were three hundred of us.”
“Us?” Mance said sharply.
“Them. Three hundred of them.” Whatever is asked, the Halfhand said. So why do I feel so craven? “Two hundred from Castle Black, and one hundred from the Shadow Tower.”
“There’s a truer song than the one you sang in my tent.” Mance looked to Harma Dogshead. “How many horses have we found?”
“More’n a hundred,” that huge woman replied, “less than two. There’s more dead to the east, under the snow, hard t’ know how many.” Behind her stood her banner bearer, holding a pole with a dog’s head on it, fresh enough to still be leaking blood.
“You should never have lied to me, Jon Snow,” said Mance.
“I … I know that.” What could he say?”

6. He lied about his reasons to avoid fucking Ygritte:

“Do you mislike the girl?” Tormund asked him as they passed another twenty mammoths, these bearing wildlings in tall wooden towers instead of giants.
“No, but I … ” What can I say that he will believe? “I am still too young to wed.”

7. He lied by sin of omission to Ygritte:

“When Mance hears how you did for Halfhand, he’ll take you quick enough,” she told him.
“Take me for what?”
The girl laughed scornfully. “For one o’ us. D’ya think you’re the first crow ever flew down off the Wall? In your hearts you all want to fly free.”
“And when I’m free,” he said slowly, “will I be free to go?”
“Sure you will.” She had a warm smile, despite her crooked teeth. “And we’ll be free to kill you. It’s dangerous being free, but most come to like the taste o’ it.” She put her gloved hand on his leg, just above the knee. “You’ll see.”
I will, thought Jon. I will see, and hear, and learn, and when I have I will carry the word back to the Wall. The wildlings had taken him for an oathbreaker, but in his heart he was still a man of the Night’s Watch.

8. He lied to his girlfriend and pretended to be hers forever and ever:

You’re mine,” she whispered. “Mine, as I’m yours. And if we die, we die. All men must die, Jon Snow. But first we’ll live.”
“Yes.” His voice was thick. “First we’ll live.”

She grinned at that, showing Jon the crooked teeth that he had somehow come to love. Wildling to the bone, he thought again, with a sick sad feeling in the pit of his stomach.

9. He didn’t tell his friends that they would all probably be dead soon:

Every day he spent among the wildlings made what he had to do that much harder. He was going to have to find some way to betray these men, and when he did they would die. He did not want their friendship, any more than he wanted Ygritte’s love…The worst of the lot was Del, a horsefaced youth near Jon’s own age, who would talk dreamily of this wildling girl he meant to steal. “She’s lucky, like your Ygritte. She’s kissed by fire.” Jon had to bite his tongue. He didn’t want to know about Del’s girl or Bodger’s mother, the place by the sea that Henk the Helm came from, how Grigg yearned to visit the green men on the Isle of Faces, or the time a moose had chased Toefinger up a tree. 

10. He lied to his best friend, for the second time, about the fucked up shit he did to his girlfriend:

“She nursed them both and loved them both,” said Aemon, “but not alike. No mother loves all her children the same, not even the Mother Above. Gilly did not leave the child willingly, I am certain. What threats the Lord Commander made, what promises, I can only guess … but threats and promises there surely were.”
No. No, that’s wrong. Jon would never …”
“Jon would never. Lord Snow did.
Sometimes there is no happy choice, Sam, only one less grievous than the others.”