i c what u did ther

Candice drunk texts


As requested by anon. :)


Drunk texts used to be a series, back when I did that sort of thing. Now they just fall in my regular queue. So let’s say that Candice gets super drunk and decides to start texting people. What might she say?


1. To Ichigo

HEY


2. To Ichigo

HEY I’M MAD AT U


3. To Ichigo

WHAT KIND OF DUCKING ASHOLE TELLS AN ENEMY TO DODGE

U THINK I’M NOT GOOD ENOUGH TO FIBHT U

DUCK U


4. To Ichigo

DUCK U


5. To Ichigo

F U C K U

tjere it is


6. To Ichigo

anyway u reallu need to thinka bout that misogyny ther budy 

not cool


7. To Bambietta

hey so i know ur dead or whatever

but u were right

ishida is more like dickda


8. To Bambietta

high five from beyond the grave i guess

only don’t dtouch me if ur still around

zombies are gorss


9. To Nnoitra

i have 6 swords too u know

only mine are cooler


10. To Soi Fon

i lost an arm too

got it back too

only mine is ZOMBIE ARM


11. To Soi Fon

sometimes i wonder if a lot of these plots are recycled


12. To Bazz-B

HEY DICKWAD

I’M GNNA KILL U


13. To Bazz-B

AND UR HAIR IS DUMB


14. To Liltotto

maybe the fun i have with subordinates is scrabble

u dont know


15. To Kenpachi

we never fnished our fight


16. To Kenpachi

i woulda kicked ur ass for the record


17. To Giselle

look dont turn me into a zmbie ok

the idae keeps me up nighs


18. To Giselle

bambi was one thing

but just let me die yeh


19. To Giselle

OMG STOP RESPONDING WITH JUST WINKING FACES

UR FREAKIGN ME OUGT


17. To Meninas

ok so ur the only person i feel like ican confide in


18. To Meninas

so here goes


19. To Meninas

how come all of us femritters have alliterative names


20. To Meninas

is that why we were chosen?? bc yhwach is super obbsesssed with letters u know


21. To Meninas

bc that had ducking better not be why we were chosen


22. To Meninas 

ive been feeling down. self esteem cou’dnt take that


23. To Meninas

u know what? duck taht

we were chosen bc were awesoime


24. To Ichigo

AND I SO DESERVED TO BE KILLED BY U DICKWAD


25. To Meninas

thx feel better now

orphanraisedbycarnies-archi-blog  asked:

Clint/Natasha in 1920's Paris. that's the most obvious prompt I have ever sent anyone.

Miss Romanova looks dashing in red (there’s something about red on a redhead, Clint thinks), svelte and limber and confident. She’d been a grubby tomboy close to knocking his teeth out three days ago, and somehow this transformation hurts more than Clint figured. He could’ve kept a girl with dirt in her hair and shadows in her eyes–he has no hope to reach for a princess, even a fallen one.