i burn cold

DazAtsu vs DazAku
  • Atsushi: Dazai-san.. I'm cold..
  • Dazai: Oh no! Here, have my jacket!
  • ...
  • Akutagawa: Dazai-san.. I'm cold..
  • Dazai: Want me to set you on fire?
I was setting myself on fire because I thought I was keeping you warm but now I understand that even the most intense burning passions cannot melt a heart as cold as yours.
—  Things I realized when I thought about what I want to tell you if I ever see you again, part VII

“The weight of the Earth is heavy, Persephone, can you bear it?”

“I was born of the Earth and my roots grow deep.”

“When you feel it pressing down on your shoulders, will your knees buckle?”

“I will hold steady and even Atlas will fear my strength.”

“The Underworld will turn your bones to ice, will you let them
shatter?”

“I am the daughter of sky and sister of sun. I will burn the cold away.”

“When the dead start to grasp at your ankles, will you stumble?”

“My heel will remind them the cost of touching queens.”

“If you are ever tempted to leave, what then?”

“I will eat the pomegranate and never stray from my realm or my king.”

—  Wedding Vows for Chthonic Deities

maybe it’s ironic that spring and autumn are my favourite seasons. they are soft and calm and pastel and they simply give a quiet scent of their essence. a dab of perfume. the whisper of a wind. they’re light and warm and cool. the colours are those in-between ones. the peaceful pinks and soft tumbles of orange and brown. it’s light caresses from the sun and kisses from the breeze.

and yet here i am. in all my terrible glory. i am fire and ice. never something in the middle. never a grey area. too much and not enough. too big and too small. too much of one thing and not enough of the other. i’m something of a paradox. two ends of a spectrum in a violent concoction that should never have existed. i cancel myself out. the positive and the negative. until i am neutral. until i am nothing. i am summer and winter. harsh heat and burning cold. i don’t make sense. i melt what i freeze. i burn ice. i’m just a puddle on the floor. no more significant than the charcoal at the end of a fire. i’m burning myself out. i am black and i am white. i poison each side of myself with the other. i cancel myself out. until i am nothing.

—  i am summer and i am winter
The very least

But I did care
about the fears
that kept you awake
long into the night
I held on as you
whimpered
wanting to make
things right
Loved you with every part
body, mind and soul
Shone my light
into your dark
Tore myself apart
Just to make you whole

Finally you had the strength
you never had alone
Filled with light and love
as I, slowly, turned to stone
Laughing in your wonder
burning, as I grew cold
Eyes of light and thunder
words so brave and bold
You left me in the morning
Sunlight streaming through
Alive while I lay mourning
The very least
that you could do

rey completely and utterly destroys kylo. she kicks him to the ground and brands his face with her lightsaber. her presence is pure rage and fire and passion and she shakes him down to the depths of his soul. she upsets his plans, ruins his game, storms his mind and uncovers his greatest fear and exposes what he really is to himself. her contempt and scorn for him are palpable, burned into his soul forever with her searing passion and the last shot of him in the entire movie is him trying to lift himself up to get a better look at the woman who just destroyed him. this kid, this idiottttttttttttt, this utter moron, who keeps trying to be something he isn’t, who keeps fighting against the light as hard as he possible can gets WRECKED by a pretty little scavenger girl who was supposed to be his prisoner, who came out of nowhere and flattened him, shattering his entire world with her fire and passion and rage. and I’m not supposed to want him, this kid, this MORON, this idiot, this deluded wanna-be darth Vader, this melodramatic baby, this clumsy and inadequate macaroon to fall heart-crushingly in love with her????

she broke his entire world, smashed it to smithereens and left him in its ruins. it just makes sense she’d do the same to his heart. 

me, softly, as i try to find more fics that i like: y'all need to burn a bit slower than that