The soft breeze blowing my hair sends me into cloud nine, making everything fresh and cool. The sun warms me up, comforting my little cells while the moments simultaneously happening feel so surreal. Everything is. I can’t believe I am actually living in a reality where I witness the one thing I would always love to replay in my mind—your smile. Being with you is my solace in the days when I feel sad without any particular reason. Being with you is the house I am going home to at the end of the day for I can’t just imagine a future without you on it. I just can’t.
That was the last moment I spent with you. Your smile was the only thing I brought with me as I walked back to my empty house, leaving me with nothing but an aching hole. It felt surreal once again for the one fear I hated the most turned out to be reality. I don’t have a heart anymore. It’s just been pierced by thousands, if not millions, of arrows and spears. Every day. The agony and pain made me numb. My whole world crashed with just your single act and where was I? Where am I?
I am nowhere to be found. I don’t want to be found. I don’t want to exist in a plane where everything reminds me of you. I can’t bear a reality where you’re only a ghost. I’d rather live in my little fantasies. At least I could still see you smile. At least I could still be with you. Sadly, I can’t leave this reality.