i blame you john

Maybe a Break Part Three (Lams)

AN: Here’s part one Maybe a Break and part two  Maybe a Break Part Two

Warnings: self harm mentions 

Request: @gumgee (and probably others but I have to get up for drama in the morning and don’t have time to dig tonight) 

Word count: 1,309

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Pairing: Hamilsquad x Reader (poly), lil bit of John x reader oops
Requested by anon: “Poly Hamilsquad x Reader Idea: John comes home to find Hercules handcuffed, Lafayette blindfolded, Alexander with a ball gag in his mouth, and Reader is drunk or on a sugar high.”
Trigger Warnings: Usually these would be kinks but I got creative lol.

John walked through the front door with an armful of fast food, ready to have a night in with his girlfriend. His boyfriends had texted him, saying that they were going to the club, and asked if he wanted to come with. He promptly replied with, Raincheck, as he was painfully aware that Y/N was still mad at him.

When the boys were mad, it was at least bearable, but none of them could take you being upset. You had two kinds of anger. There was the passive aggressive kind: You’d smile happily at them while making snarky remarks in a bright and cheery voice. And then there was the silent treatment: Cold over-the-shoulder glances and straight up ignoring their existences.

You were silent treatment angry.

You’d been at it for weeks, sometimes forgetting what you were mad at him for. You were stubborn, though, so the reason didn’t really matter. You were waiting for an apology, a sincere one. Not the babe, please don’t be mad at me I’m sorry. You wanted the I know what I did was wrong and I’m prepared to make it up to you apology. And that was what John planned on doing.

He couldn’t stand the thought of you being mad at him, especially for so long. This entire relationship started with the two of you. You’d started dating in high school and here you both were, still together. Of course, with some additions.

It was a hard transition, going from his only significant other to being one of four. At first, you felt like you were competing for his love. As the others caught on, they reassured you that whatever your thought was certainly not the case. The four boys actually felt the same way you did; all feeling as if your love had to be won by one of them.

You all laughed about it in the end. It was then that the relationship started to fall into a relaxing pattern. Of course, whatever argument you and John had was an exception to this pattern.

As he closed the front door, he began speaking, knowing that Y/N was the only one home. “Baby.” He called. He walked to the kitchen in the dark since he knew the way like the back of his hand. “I know you’re here, please answer me. I brought food from that little diner you like.”

John heard a squeal and watched as you scurried into the kitchen. “Hi John.” You said giddily, searching through a bag for her food. He looked taken aback, “You’re talking to me?”

“Of course!” You grinned. “Why wouldn’t I?”

Your freckle-faced lover furrowed his brow, looking at you with a confused look. He took your chin between his thumb and index finger and tilted your head up. As you slurped a noodle past your lips, he noticed that your eyes were glassy. Your breath smelled like the rum that Alexander keeps in his room. “Y/N, are you drunk?”

“I mean, that would explain why I’m a little dizzy.”

John chuckled as you struggled to lift yourself onto the counter. This wasn’t exactly what he expected, but it was better than having you be mad at him. “The boys went to the club, right?”




John began to walk out of the room, but stopped in the doorway. You were prone to accidentally hurting yourself when you were drunk. “Uh, don’t touch anything sharp. Or shiny.” When he turned to walk away, he stopped again. “Actually, don’t touch anything.”

He heard you mutter something along the lines of such little faith you have in me as he went to check the boys’ bedrooms. Upon opening Alexander’s door, John found nothing but papers and books scattered everywhere. Lafayette’s room was clean and tidy, but also empty. Herc’s bedroom was known as the war zone, so John expected the mess, but not the vacancy.

All of a sudden, John heard you crying, so he rushed back into the kitchen. You were standing with tears streaming down your cheeks and blood dripping from your palm. “I was just trying to cut this sandwich in half.”

“Babe, I told you not to touch anything. And why did you use a big knife? It’s just a turkey melt.”

You started mumbling an incoherent response as he cleaned and bandaged your cut. “Where are the boys?”


“In the basement?”

“We were playing a game.”

John sighed and nodded, taking her hand and leading them to the basement. As he looked at his boyfriends he couldn’t help but to break into laughter.

Lafayette was blindfolded, struggling to follow the instructions that Hercules was giving him. Not to mention, he was handcuffed to a pipe, which John made mental note of (that’s probably dangerous, he thought). Alexander sat on the floor, defeated, with a ball gag in his mouth.

John wanted to ask how this happened, but quite frankly, he couldn’t stop laughing.

“Shut up, John.”

“Ses non drôle.”

“This is pretty funny.” John managed to sputter.

“Hmm mm mhmm.”

“Oh my god, John, please take that out of his mouth.”

John walked over to Alexander and pulled the ball gag out of his mouth, allowing him to take a deep breath. “I said I blame you.” Alex said. “What?” John asked. “I wasn’t even here.”

“We were going to go to the club, but belle was upset, so she wanted to play a game-”

“Which of course was truth or dare.” Herc added.

“-And for every dare belle didn’t do, she drank.”

Despite the hilarity of the situation, John did feel bad for upsetting you to this ridiculous point. So, he let Herc out of the handcuffs, gave the boys some cash and told them to go out, on him. They were worried for the both of them; after all, you were still upset with him. John assured them that he’d take care of you and that he’d be fine. With that, they left the house.

John took you back upstairs and sat you down at the table. He sat the food in front of you, urging you to eat. He could tell that you were sobering up because you were leaning back into the silent treatment again. “Eat, please.” He begged.

“Not hungry.”

Two words, he thought, we’re getting somewhere.

He then retrieved a bottle of water from the fridge. He handed it to you, “At least drink this.” You sat, contemplating how much you needed water. You decided to take it, if not for your own health, for John’s. He looked as if he was about to keel over in guilt.

After you drank your water, John led you to bed, just laying with you, side by side. You were both silent as you stared at the ceiling. Suddenly, John was speaking quietly, “Do you remember when we had our first serious fight?”

You stayed silent.

“We were fighting over where we were gonna move. Our first apartment. I wanted to live in Harlem, and you wanted to live uptown.”

You turned your head to look at him, “Uptown is better than Harlem.”

“In your dreams. It’s way too quiet up there.”

“That’s the beauty of it.”

John chuckled as you turned your head back to look at the ceiling. You both were in silence for a few minutes. Neither of you could continue the conversation; you didn’t know how to break the tension.

“I was wrong.” He muttered. You turned your head once more to find him looking at you. “I was. I’m sorry, Y/N. I never want to be the cause of you feeling this way again.” He said. You looked into his eyes and saw honesty. He definitely meant it. “Do you forgive me?”

You grinned as you pushed his hair from his face, giggling slightly, “Honestly, I forgave you when you walked through the door with my favorite noodles.”

Cause You're My Favorite Hue

All Parts: {x}

Part: 60/?

Pairing: Jamilton

Inspiration: this post and this song

Soundtrack: here (you can request more songs)

Summary: Black and white was all anyone saw until they touched their soulmate. For some people, color quickly rushed into their world and for others, all they ever saw was black and white. Two businessmen, who absolutely hated each other, managed to bump into each other on their way up to their office. Little did either know that their world would erupt in a staccato of color.

Warning: cussing, mentions of ED, nonconsensual touching

Word Count: 4,032

Dedication: To y'all. I had a freak out today. I’m fine now, but thank you for making sure I was okay. I love you guys very much. Also to @xaandiir bc their cameos in the chapter :)

Tags: @midnigtartist, @kneel-to-maria, @halpdevon, @wildlittleman, @exadorlion, @lukassgoggles, @closestfriendivegot, @celestialqueerfeminist, @schokoobananaa, @justsmilingandnodding, @lapiamedots, @semoka, @jayceemayy, @kyller-biis, @alwayshesitantwiththepresident, @sarcastic-swl-dragon, @starspeckled, @yourapplepiebetterbeworthit, @saturn-sails, @tallish-hobbit, @angelica-eliza-layafette, @sugarshark420, @gunsandshipsandpeggy, @doot-doot-cats, @thatdewdlesperson, @lafbagxette, @hamilton-trash-1, @cutebridge, @siguikinworld, @evil-weasel, @bad-l-ands, @lukadovemcm, @not-spider-man, @thedisneyderp, @aphamericanhero, @rose-is-in-the-void, @queen-bohemian-rhapsody, @genericusernameblahblahblah, @oli-is-perfect, @trash-sicle, @suspicious-protagonist, @beycutebabe, @ichbindeindod, @awkwardly-inactive, @thekaymeister, @dvddggs, @dreamingpastelcolors, @theluckyjinx2170, @atomicprinceling, @aheadfullofglassbees, @jefffersons, @sweetlyminiaturesublime, @anitheunicorn, @creativescapist, @bees-and-shotguns, @anonymouscrazyfangirl, @frannro, @nicnchill, @skythornhollycat, @gaya-the-apple, @peachygroff, @fangirl6202, @lawnmowerswig, @confused-septopus, @thesebattlescarsarebeautiful, @lalalapin, @omlwhatamidoing, @wow-another-blog, @ordinaryornate, @spookytheoristpuppy, @nobeatnomelody, @hell-yes-puns-and-ships, @cheerioscheerios, @bellatrixmld, @spoiledbuni, @dammit-i-suck-at-this, @tinypathetichumanbrain, @ilove2badoable, @hoshizornyaa, @accidentally-impeccable, @coconuthoodie, @passmethegoddamnball, @theworldsasorrystate, @willoweve2011, @rainconfettis, @xaandiir, @woahtherebuddyfriend, @panda-powers, @ahyesfandoms, @yesthefightingfrenchbitch, @lamiltonburr

A/N: shit. It was sally, but I’m changing it to an OC because honestly, using her at all is pretty wrong. I’m sorry if I offended anyone. Enjoy!

The Jeffersons wanted nothing other than a nice break. They wanted to be able to walk through the woods, play music, go into town to shop, and to just be able to relax.

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20 somethings//the older i get, the less i know [a playlist]

love me/the 1975 || sofa song/the kooks || a new england/billy bragg || kids/childish gambino || still take you home/arctic monkeys || bad blood/bastille || there’s always someone cooler than you/ben folds || no. 1 party anthem/arctic monkeys || the lazy song/bruno mars || naïve/the kooks || all over/cruisr || inbetween days/the cure || unwashed and somewhat slightly dazed/david bowie || shores of california/dresden dolls || everyday i write the book/elvis costello and the attractions || young volcanoes/fall out boy || whistle for the choir/the fratellis || at least i’m not as sad (as i used to be)/fun. || cassy o’/george ezra || someone new/hozier || community college/jan dulay || blame game/kanye west feat. john legend || i like you better when you’re not around/kate miller-heidki || i don’t care/fall out boy || sister/kate nash || sexotheque/la roux || ribs/lorde || sex yeah/marina and the diamonds || i’m not okay (i promise)/my chemical romance || dear god please help me/morrissey || don’t you want to share the guilt/kate nash || walk of shame/p!nk || the love club/lorde || campus/vampire weekend || are you satisfied?/marina and the diamonds || are you fucking kidding me?/kate miller-heidki || we hate it when our friends come successful/morrissey || i think ur a contra/vampire weekend || heaven knows i’m miserable now/the smiths || sex/the 1975


Babylon 5 - The Lost Tales: Voices in the Dark

I blame you! (all of the triggerwarnings)

I blame you, John. I blame you, Hank. And I blame you, Nerdfighters. I blame you for a lot of the pain I felt in the last couple of years. Because of you, I felt the pain of seeing a good friend being ignored by their family concerning their fear and hate of a man who had ‘done things’ to them years ago. But he was such a good friend of the family. Because of you, I worry for another good friend, little over half my age, who has been diagnosed with a nasty and rare form of cancer. Also because of you, I keep pondering about ways I can help this brilliant smart and gifted friend who is on the edge of burn-out at a way too young age, just because they wants to make the world a better place faster than their mind and fellow humans can make it so.
It is your fault that I have been lying awake in bed thinking of a solution for this young brilliant friend who keeps struggling with a past in an area where all healthcare-institutions seem to be of such a backward standard that they don’t recognize their problem. You are to blame for the fact that I hurt inside when a friend of mine sends me an email, telling their dad, who is not even close to old enough, has died. Because of you, my mind spins around in circles trying to come up with ways to make life better for this friend of mine who has been bullied to such an extend when they was young, that the fact that anyone can really like them is beyond their believable options.
It is because of you that I see the daily struggle of a friend who has had child-leukemia, and still battles the aftereffects of the medication today, whilst being unable to help them in any way. If it weren’t for you I wouldn’t have to deal with the stabbing fear of seeing this one friend trying to cut their wrists again, and being too far away too help. If y'all hadn’t existed, I wouldn’t worry every time I saw this one friend post pictures of themselves with yet another new partner, fearing that this one will turn out to be abusive yet again, as that is the type they somehow seems to be attracted to.

For all this, and many other things like this, I blame you. Because before I knew you, I had my safe little bubble, with few friends, and I didn’t know all these people I now call (at the very least in my own mind) my friends. And I darn well understand the numbers-game involved here. Since I became part of the Nerdfighter community, the number of people I call friends grew rapidly, very rapidly. And thus the chances of me knowing someone who had these things increased as well. So there, I blame you for all the pain it caused me.

But I also blame you for all the good things I experience because I know all these people. The many different locations I would otherwise never have visited, but are now in my memories because there has been a gathering there. Or the amazing feeling of walking through a museum with wonderful people just as interested by art and history as I am, and eager to show their awe. Or that 24 hour period that I was helped by various Nerdfighters to take 'duo-selfies’ with various other Nerdfighters all across the globe. That morning that I woke up with aching muscles in the back of my neck from the laughter a group of us shared the evening before whilst playing with light-giving-balloons in a dark house.
I will never forget that moment I stood, in my lemur-onesie, dancing in the middle of a huge international circle of Nerdfighters to the sounds of 'I like to move it’, full King Julian style. Or cooking for a group of them on one of their birthdays, and them trusting me to make edible food for them, in a kitchen that is not my own, in too small pans, for too many people, and them eating their fill anyways. That cool moment when you help one of them with her charity and hand out books to children, after which they either start a wizard duel, or go watch (and maybe even participate in) a quidditch training. Or just the warm fuzzy feeling I get inside every time I see someone say something nice to someone else in the various groups I am member of on Facebook and in WhatsApp. I felt a glow of joy inside of me as well when I was at a party of one of these friends, where I had been the year before as well, and in the room was a small collage of pictures of that party a year ago, and it was all so very happy.

I also put it onto your account that I changed a lot in recent years. The most obvious one for those who knew me before is that I drink a lot less alcohol. But for me more important is that I got so many new insights and ideas. New feelings and new hopes that have been shared with me and thus formed me. And the feeling of friendship that I got in return on so many occasions.

So yeah, I blame you, John. And I blame you, Hank. And I especially blame you, Nerdfighters. But more so I want to thank you. Thank you.

I leave the biggest supply I ever 'created’ of six-packs of Insta-Hugs here at the end of the message. Feel free to take one with you and use it when needed. And if you ever happen to meet me, feel free to ask me for a real-life hug.

(edit: The thanks is real, I don’t do sarcasm. I am really, really glad I am part of Nerdfighteria)

  • Before the snow hits
  • John Laurens: Aw, poor wittle Alex! Used to a Carribean climate, not used to the cold!
  • Alexander Hamilton: If I get frostbite, I will find a way to blame you.
  • After the snow hits
  • Alexander Hamilton: Why do I put up with you.