i bet like one button is done up

Dress Like Your Guardian

Players: Dave, Dirk, Bro, and D

Summary: Dave’s doing laundry when the twins decide to have a little fun that gets a bit out of hand. Especially when the guardians come home drunk and are surprised to see the twins attempting to act like them. (Warning: mentions of being drunk, alcohol use.) (Rated: Explicit)

“It’s not faaaaaaair,” Dave whines absently as he folds the clothes. His voice echos a bit in the tiny room. “They get to go out and have fun as we’re stuck here doing chooooores.”

“Well, you’re doing chores. I’m playing videogames.”

“Also not fair.”

“Just because I finished my chores first while you were goofing off does not make it unfair.”

“But I want to blow shit up! I mean my character has the sickest explosive sniper I’ve seen in the game so far. I want to duel you and blow your head up.”

“Yeah, like you could get through my shield.”

“I could with the turret.”

“Eh, probably not.” Dirk starts ignoring his brother’s whining and focuses back on his game.

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anonymous asked:

You should've taken submissions. These posts are now actual shit.

hey! this is really not a very nice thing to send somebody - i’m gonna give you the benefit of the doubt, because i don’t know, maybe you had a bad day, maybe you felt you had an incredibly funny submission that didnt got posted - whatever, i don’t know, but i’m gonna give you the benefit of the doubt.

we do this for free. we don’t get paid for this, ever. more importantly, even if we were being paid, i’m pretty sure you wouldn’t be the one handing the money over. you can feel free to unfollow us - if you don’t think our work is up to scratch, then go ahead. genuinely and honestly, i’m not using this as some tactic: if you don’t like our blog, please, we’re not keeping you here.

but don’t insult our work. our free work, i may add. the work you don’t pay for, and never have done, and i’m willing to bet that if we put up a “donate” button, you probably wouldn’t be the one to click it.

again, may i mention, that you don’t need to follow us. if you don’t like our content you can stop. and since you actually sent in your worries about it, rather than just unfollowing, i’m going to assume that you actually really like our posts, but you don’t feel that we’ve reached that perfect level for you right now.

we don’t run this blog to cater to you specifically. i’m sorry. we don’t. our jokes might not have been that funny lately, compared to our older stuff. we’re aware of this and have actually addressed it in a post before.but we don’t cater to you! in fact, right now, we’re getting more “OH MY GOD THIS BLOG IS AMAZING!!!!” posts than ever before! even with that, we’re aware that the work quality is not as high as it used to be.

we began running this blog for us. we enjoyed it, it was fun. it’s a project me and a close friend have been running for about a third of a year. and it’s really fun. back when we started, it was the summer. i had a lot of free time, so did Mod H, neither of us had a particularly huge stress load from the stuff we do throughout the rest of the year.

despite that, we’re still keeping submissions closed. as i’ve stated before, i have worked on other blogs that are submission fueled, and they are really really not fun to run. bare in mind what i’ve stated earlier: we don’t get paid, we haven’t promised you anything, we don’t owe you anything. submission-based blogs are far, far more stressful than coming up with seventy jokes a week. because of that, our quality may have dropped a bit. but our happiness is more important than that. despite not being paid - and despite being in a place where actually, money could do me a lot of fucking good because i’m not in a very fun place in life right now - we keep making posts for you, but we draw the line at making our lives significantly more stressful.

essentially, if the blog becomes more stressful for us by a significant amount - like it would by allowing submissions - we would be more likely to close the blog down.

next time you think of insulting somebody’s work - because this wasn’t criticism, it wasn’t a “hey… i think your quality of jokes has been going down a bit :/” (which would still be a bit rude seeing as, as i’ve mentioned, we do this for free, every single day) it was a “your work is shit. fix it up. you two aren’t funny enough”.

i’m working on making them better. i promise. we’re doing our best. this time of the year is particularly difficult for me because of personal reasons. i’m sincerely sorry that our quality hasn’t been as good as it used to be, but i am not sorry that i haven’t been trying harder. because i have been trying as hard as i can. it’ll look up soon, i promise.

please think before telling us our work isn’t good enough, followers. we do this for free, as a hobby. it would be different if this was our job, to keep you entertained. but it isn’t. it’s our hobby.

- Mod R