i bet he actually said this

Some Strings Attached

Ugh so there was a post going around that I’ve now long since misplaced but it was like “I just saw you go upstairs with someone else and I know we’re only fuck buddies but I’m gonna go punch them in the face” and I was HERE FOR IT. If somebody remembers the post, link me. In the meantime, have some Sterek getting together fluff.

“Just tell Derek you want to date him,” Scott says, as if it’s the simplest thing in the world.

Stiles bugs his eyes and flails his hands in wordless frustration, because the correct response to this patently ludicrous advice eludes him. He had come for sympathy, not pie-in-the-sky delusions. “Scott. Bro,” he finally gasps. “How could you even suggest that in good faith? No way! Bad plan!” He slashes his arms in a demonstrative X. “The only reason we’re even hooking up is that I made it super clear I was down to fuck, no strings attached! I’m not ruining a good thing by announcing to Derek Hale that I’m 85% in love with him.”

“Why?” Scott genuinely seems confused, the sweet summer child. After falling into a happy triad with Allison and Isaac after their first semester at UCLA, he doesn’t really understand the definition of “unrequited.”

Stiles turns his attention to a hanging thread on his t-shirt, sourly tugging it loose. “He’s out of my league. I mean, with the baseball, and the smarts, and the sarcasm, and those eyes…” he breaks off with a sigh. The last thing he needs to do is remind himself of how gone he is on Derek. “Just, he’s popular. Dictionary definition of too cool for school. And the three people he actually deigns to hang out with here are all just as cool and good looking as he is. Do I need to remind you I’m not? I’m a gawky, nerdy Sophomore. I’m lucky to even be his fuck-buddy.”

Scott makes a face, incredulous. “I dunno, he must like you well enough if he’s still sleeping with you after all this time. What’s it been, six months? And you guys hang out, too, you’re always telling me about how easy it is to chat with him after you bone. So it’s not just sex.”

Stiles grimaces. “Yeah, but it’s not…”


“… a real relationship,” Derek says into the phone, hearing full well the heavy dejection in his voice. So sue him; the admission is more than a little depressing. “He just wants to be fuck buddies.”

“How do you know?” Laura asks reasonably. “Maybe this Stiles person would be interested in dating you, too. No offence, but you’re not great at reading people. I mean, he’s interested in chilling with you even after you hook up, and clearly he enjoys the physical aspect. Did he actually ever say he wasn’t looking for more?”

Derek heaves a sigh, rolling his eyes even though she can’t see over the phone. “Yep. About two minutes after the first time we slept together he said, ‘no strings attached, obviously.’ So, you know, pretty safe bet that it’s no strings attached.”

“Oh,” Laura says. For once she doesn’t have a snappy comeback.

“Oh,” Derek agrees. Dejectedly.

She gives him a sympathetic little hum, and then asks, “and he’ll definitely be at the sorority barbecue?”

“Yeah.” Stiles and his broad shoulders and his long fingers are definitely going to be at the party.

“Maybe you shouldn’t go,” his sister says softly. “If you really like him, and he’s just looking to get laid…”

Derek groans. Not go, and give up a chance to hook up with Stiles? Smart, maybe, but not something he’s capable of doing.

The problem is, he’s liked Stiles forever. Or at least since he first saw him, laughing uproariously and running around with his friends with an actually broom between his legs, playing “Quidditch.” Derek would have been way too embarrassed to do something like that on the front lawn, but Stiles made it seem like the most effortlessly awesome thing a person could get up to.

No, compared to Stiles, Derek is practically a social recluse, an awkward jock with only about three people who he gets along with at all. Stiles definitely doesn’t want to get saddled with a boyfriend like him. He’s lucky they’re even hooking up after all this time.

“Derek, I mean it,” Laura says. “Look out for yourself for once.”

“I know, I know,” Derek grumbles. “But it’s not my fault he’s…”

Keep reading

Alright, so, I’ll start this off by saying I am honestly not an expert on Kakyoin, contrary to popular belief (I’d actually consider myself more of an expert on Jotaro’s character, if anything), but I’m going to do my best to give my views on Kakyoin’s character, as well as some canon evidence to support it, and hopefully it will help a bit.

If you want a great reference of how to write Kakyoin in fic, go read Sand, sand and more sand on AO3, because it’s honestly one of the best depictions of Kak I’ve ever read, and he’s quite close to canon.

*ahem*

Kakyoin is pretty snarky. He’s subtle about it, but he’s also kind of a shithead. He’s polite most of the time, but it seems to be more of a setting he defaults to when he doesn’t feel entirely comfortable around the people he’s with. We have quite a few quips from him as examples of this, such as him laughing at andd mocking Anne during the dark blue moon arc, and saying she couldn’t possibly be the stand user on board, and in the Geb and N'Doul fight where he orders Polnareff to attack the canteen because he “doesn’t want to”. He also at one point responds to Polnareff saying “this looks bad!” with, “well it most certainly isn’t good.”

He’s blunt, but this also means that he’s honest. He dislikes liars, and prefers that everything is set out before him clearly and plainly as opposed to someone that is clearly dancing around the subject.

He also seems like quite the know-it-all, and likes being right; and he’s probably the type to argue with someone even if he knows he’s wrong. He seems to genuinely enjoy teaching the crusaders about the culture of all the places they visit on their journey, and he has the ability to retain all of that information to recant to them, as well. It seems to be somewhat of an interest of his.

And then there’s this, of course…

The cherry thing is something that kind of bothers me in fandom and fic. Yes; Kakyoin says that cherries are his favourite fruit. Child Kakyoin has cherries on his shirt (keep in mind that the scene with child kakyoin is added in my DavidPro and is not technically canon). BUT, it doesn’t mean that he has to have everything cherry-related. It’s a seriously overused trait in fandom to the point that it just becomes annoying. Kak can have a coffee without it having to be cherry flavoured. Just remember that he canonically enjoys lots of different foods, and that he doesn’t need to exclusively eat cherries and cherry flavoured things. He probably likes to eat foods from all different cultures.

Video games: There is evidence to suggest that Kakyoin spends a LOT of time playing F-Mega, however, this doesn’t mean that his extreme knowledge of the tracks and mechanics applies to every video game in existence. He’s a teenager, with no friends in the 80’s, of course he’s going to spend time playing video games. But back in the 80s, people often only had one or two games, so it’s likely that he has simply replayed F-Mega a LOT, to the point of knowing it by heart. I know the levels of Mario 3 extremely well, simply because I played them over and over again as a kid. If you are fixated on a single game for extended periods of time (especially if it’s the only game you own), you are of course going to know the game well. Knowing a lot about a single game does not mean that he’s obsessed with video games, and does not necessarily mean that he’s a shut-in, and never goes outside.

Also keep in mind that he says that he’s “pretty good at video games”. He doesn’t claim to be great at them, and since we’ve already established that Kakyoin is quite blunt, it would be out of character to assume that he’s being humble here. He literally means that he’s just “pretty good” at them. No more, no less.

His real-world experience is vast, and it’s also mentioned that his parents take him many places on vacation. He’s been to a lot of places, and retains cultural knowledge. It’s not as if he’s read it in books: he’s actually been to these places before, and he mentions it frequently. This suggests that he gets out quite a bit, and also kind of suggests that maybe he isn’t quite the model student type in school.

Kakyoin doesn’t appear to be the honours student & straight A’s type. He doesn’t think twice about skipping out on his new school to travel to Egypt, and as I said before, his knowledge appears to come more from first-hand experience rather than school studies (and I bet he missed more than a few of his classes due to the trips that he and his parents took). He’s a know-it-all, but it doesn’t mean that he does well in school.

On the other hand, Jotaro IS a model student, despite his delinquent status. It’s more likely that Jotaro would be the one helping Kakyoin with his homework.
(He might disrespect his teachers, but he still gets good grades, and let’s not forget that he becomes a marine biologist later in life.)

Kakyoin’s profile also mentions that he “appears very effeminite”. This is another thing that is often misinterpreted. His appearence may be somewhat feminine, and he takes pride in how he looks, but his personality and mannerisms are not inherently feminine.

He hates being forced into submission, and this is the reason why he despises Dio so much. Dio took advantage of his vulnerability and the fact that Kak didn’t have any friends to use him as his pawn. He drew Kak in, made him feel wanted, needed, and then took control of his mind and body.

“He appears to be very effeminate. In reality, he despises submitting to people or sucking up to them.” - Taken directly from his canon personality description.

Another thing that people seem to miss is the fact that he’s extremely sadistic. He says himself that Heirophant “loves nothing more than to rip things to shreds” and that it might “drive him mad with joy”. He likes being in control of the situation, remember. He probably hates losing fights, as well (especially since he could be considered a weakling for losing).

Kakyoin also seems to like Baseball, judging by his profile naming a favourite team, and sumo, as we all know from his exchange with Jotaro.

One of the things that fandom does definitely get right, is Kakyoin being the mother hen of the group. He’s taken on the role of the responsible one, because Joseph is… far from being an adult. He’s strategic and thinks everything out logically, and so is the mature one of the group, especially after Avdol’s “death”. He appears to be content to follow Joseph, but when it’s needed, he steps up and becomes the leader in his place. This is seen when Jotaro, Joseph and Polnareff start physically fighting random men that they suspect are the one in the Wheel of Fortune car, to which he says that, “this is not a good idea,” and that it’s, “getting out of hand”. It’s also seen in the tower of grey fight where he mentions that it’s better that he fights on the plane, because he’s the least destructive of the bunch (even though he’s capable of blasting holes into clock towers, apparently his emerald splash isn’t destructive; okay Kak…).

He’s also fiercely protective of his friends, and extremely loyal as well. Kakyoin isn’t the type to abandon his friends in any circumstance.

He’s a CASANOVA. While Jotaro draws more unwanted attention from girls due to his bad boy façade, Kakyoin is slick and smooth with them, so much so that they notice him more over Jotaro. He’s quick to diffuse the situation when Jotaro pushes the girls aside (again, in the tower of grey arc), and it’s just… yes.

Just look at this. You can bet your ass he’s not the type to blush and stutter as he’s confessing. Straight up grabbing the girl and apologizing for Jotaro. Smooth as butter.


Here are some other scenes that might be able to explain his character a bit better as well:

Mouthing off to Joseph- Jotaro approves.

This line is wonderful. (Again, to Joseph? It’s almost like they have this kind of rivalry going on, haha)

Some really good insight to his character and motivations (And one of my favourite Jotakak moments).

The anime kind of makes this out to be a sort of “Kakyoin mocking Polnareff” scene, but in the manga he seems like he’s just stating what he heard. Pretty matter-of-fact about the whole situation.

Unimpressed.

I believe that this is the first moment that Kakyoin really realizes that he and any of his companions can die at any moment. Avdol has been shot, and he’s in complete shock. This is a normal teenager that’s now painfully aware of the danger he’s putting himself in to help out Jotaro and Joseph. Sure, he realized that he would be involved in fights, and a little blood would be shed for the greater good, but I don’t think he had realized up to this point that he might actually die.

And here’s Kakyoin’s character bio.

It’s also notable that he didn’t tell his parents where he was going prior to leaving. This doesn’t necessarily mean that he’s in bad standing with his parents (especially since his dying thoughts were of them), and could possibly be because he didn’t want to worry them, or something of the sort, but the fact remains that he didn’t tell them beforehand. Take from this what you will.

So yeah, this is what I get from Kakyoin. He’s kind, loyal to a fault, and deeply in love with Jotaro– and he’s a pretty complex character to write. Don’t feel like you need to take all of this into account, because it’s hard to keep his entire character intact with fanfiction. A lot of his personality comes across in facial expressions, so it’s sometimes difficult to translate that into non-visual media. Just refer back to canon if you aren’t sure of something, and you should be fine. Good luck!

Don’t Stop Us Now

@softkent ‘s 14 Days of Love fic-a-thon, day 6: ruined surprises!

It all started because Katya decided to have mercy on Eric and let him take morning classes this semester. WGSS120 was an amazing class, Professor Atley had the coolest stories about how postwar industrialization led to compulsive female domesticity, and his seatmate wasn’t the worst thing to see at 9:30 AM every Tuesday and Thursday. He would have almost been dreamy if he had the slightest knack for small talk. As it was, Eric didn’t even have a name to go on, just intent blue eyes and an ass that even the baggiest of shorts couldn’t mask.

One day, Eric decided to drop a hospitality bomb on the guy and see if he could coax a response out of him. They were both consistently early to class, so Eric budgeted ten minutes for a brief chat before class started and turned to Cute Guy with a winning smile on his face.

“So how about that reading, huh? I thought it was fascinating how cake mix became a prestige thing- everyone in my family bakes, and I don’t think we’ve used a box mix in forty years.”

“Yeah,” the guy said, “I think it had something to do with the scientific advancements they made in food preservation for the troops. Shelf stabilization wouldn’t have been nearly as achievable in earlier years.”

Miraculously, once you got onto a clear subject, Cute Guy was actually a decent conversationalist. Eric found himself losing track of time as they dissected last night’s chapters of Marling.

“And the American National Exhibition anecdote!” he giggled. “Who can even tell the difference between Russian and American Coke?”

“I bet it’s easier with all of the Soviet Union breathing down your back. ‘Da, cola of Mother Russia is vkusno!’”

“Nice accent,” Eric told Cute Guy.

“Really? Thanks, I’ll have to tell Geno. He’s always knocking my Russian. He’s, uh, a friend of my dad’s, and we both play hockey.”

“So that’s what your weird doodles are? Hockey plays?”

“Yeah, I’m captain of the hockey team here. We’re not half bad, if I say so myself.”

“Wow,” Eric enthused, “you must be a pretty good skater, then.”

“Yeah, I guess. I could teach you sometime, if you want. I’m Jack, by the way,’ Cute Guy said.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

How would the Karasuno boys act when they have to buy condoms from Ukai's shop, having to look their coach in the eye as they pay for them?

i laughed for like 10 minutes after reading this request i love it. i’ve been having some health issues lately and needed a good pick-me-up

if you like what i do and want to show your support, consider supporting me on ko-fi!

 - admin rachel lauren


The only way I could rationalize them willingly buying condoms from Sakanoshita–as opposed to any place else–knowing that their coach is minding the shop is that the team has some crazy bet going on and these are in the event that they are the loser of said bet. Whether or not they’re doing the do and actually need them is entirely irrelevant.

Daichi

  • He’s one of the few who don’t make it weird somehow. It’s just another transaction, right? Not to mention that Ukai’s made it clear to them that whatever they do outside of volleyball is none of his business.
  • It’s not embarrassing until he gets to the counter to pay and has a moment of internal panic that this is very awkward. But Daichi’s a master of keeping his composure while screaming internally all the while, so you’d never know.
    • It doesn’t hurt that he buys a few things he actually needs along with them. But still.

Suga

  • He tries to play dumb when they’re rung up: “Whoops, how did those get in there? Well, I guess I’ll take them anyway. Doesn’t hurt to have some, right?” Cue the forced bashful laughter.
  • It’s clear to everyone within a 5 mile radius that Suga is playing this up too much. Like it’s painful to watch.
  • Once out of the shop, Suga will show no mercy and pelt either the first person who laughs or the person who suggested the bet in the first place with the box.

Asahi

  • He has to buy at least four or five other things along with them in hopes that Ukai doesn’t give the condoms a second thought.
  • Except he kind of just grabs whatever is within arm’s reach in a tizzy without paying attention, so it’s an interesting mix of things.
  • He forgets how to breathe when Ukai rings his things up. You’d think that having his coach be unfazed by all of this would make it less embarrassing, but the contrast in their demeanors makes it worse. 
    • You can bet his s/o will be the one to buy them from now on because he’s scarred for life.

Nishinoya

  • Slams the box down on the counter and looks Ukai straight in the eyes. It’s the only thing he’s buying.
  • Noya’s got a dead serious look on his face the whole time. Coupled with the fact that he’s standing in a power pose, it makes the transaction feel more like a battle of wills than a simple interaction between a shopkeeper/coach and his customer/pupil.
  • Seriously, Ukai is unnerved by this until Noya shouts out a thanks and bows deeply before leaving the shop, and hearing Tanaka’s cry of “Noya-san is so cool!!!” from outside.

Tanaka

  • Tries the nonchalant whistling thing, which makes the whole process more suspect and embarrassing.
  • “They’re for my sister’s…. boyfriend…”
    • He doesn’t know why he went with that excuse. Even if Saeko had a boyfriend, neither of them would bother having Tanaka buy a box for them.
  • Ukai’s, “Good for them, I guess?” does nothing to alleviate any of Tanaka’s embarrassment.

Ennoshita

  • If it’s questioned, he has his excuse of “A prop for the new movie” all ready to go. Although, he’s also worried that unless he can make up a plot for this movie that doesn’t exist (yet), it might be considered a cause for concern that his movies are getting too adult for high school students to be in charge of.
  • Takes five minutes to come up with an elevator pitch just in case before he has to go in.
  • Ukai doesn’t even ask or indicate that he’s buying condoms and Ennoshita–red-faced and stuttering–goes on about some Seth Rogen-esque stoner comedy that he’s working on.
    • “Well, just don’t get in trouble filming something like that. You’re still a kid, after all.”

Narita

  • Can’t stop dropping his change, which is the perfect excuse to physically hide how ridiculous he feels.
  • The transaction from then on can be described as swift, as in the second Ukai hands him the bag Narita takes it and heads for the door with a, “Hm thanks coach see you tomorrow bye!” It’s all in one fluid motion and yes, that goodbye is punctuation-less .
  • Just…never bring this up again. He’d rather forget the whole thing.

Kinoshita

  • He can’t go in alone. He has to do this with at least one other person going into the shop with him, and Noya is the only one who also isn’t embarrassed by this in any way. The other second-years are embarrassed by proximity, so-to-speak.
    • Except Noya gets distracted trying to find his usual ice cream flavor, so Kinoshita has to ride solo at the counter.
  • It’s clear he’s nervous about the whole thing; his whole body is stiff and he reacts to anything Ukai says as if the man is correcting his technique during practice.
  • He does have to keep his eyes on his wallet and money most of the transaction because there’s no one he can look his coach in the eye while buying them.

Kageyama

  • He knows he’s not smart and that everyone knows this as well, so he decides to tackle this issue by using this to advantage.
  • Except he anticipates Ukai will say anything in the first place, and blurts something out totally unprompted..
    • Ukai: “That’ll be–”
    • Kageyama: What do you mean those aren’t water balloons?
  • The following is the most tense five seconds of silence you’ll ever see between these two.
  • He’s so red that Ukai is worried that Kageyama’s head might explode. Or he passes out on the spot, especially because he stops breathing.

Hinata

  • He thinks he can play it cool, but it’s like watching a trainwreck.
  • He suddenly can’t hear anything. There’s so much blood rushing to his head that he can only hear that in his ears. Ukai tells him how much he owes and Hinata keeps repeating, “What?” each time it happens.
    • “Just… take them, alright, Hinata?”
  • Once he leaves the store, his face seems to be stuck in a smile and he doesn’t react to anything anyone says or does to him. His soul has left his body. He’s straight-up astral projecting in front of the vending machines outside the shop. Never make him do that again.

Tsukishima

  • Like Daichi, he also is does not make it weird. The glare from his glasses absolutely helps to hide anything his eyes might give away about feeling like an idiot the whole time.
  • But you could replace the condoms with any other item in the store and everything would be exactly the same about this interaction.
  • The rest of the team is mad because there was no point of having the loser of their bet do that if the loser wasn’t affected by it.
    • But this eventually backfires on Tsukki because guess who Noya and Tanaka have now playfully dubbed, “The Condom King.” He hates it.

Yamaguchi

  • He’s a blend of Suga and Kageyama in this situation: “I thought they were rubber gloves! What? T-those aren’t mine!” (Which one is it, Yams?)
  • Things get worse because the barcode scanner just won’t scan this box and every second feels ten times longer than it actually is during this.
  • At this point he’s just praying that no one else–sans the rest of the boys–has to bear witness to this. If Yachi walked in and saw, he’d probably die.
Who is D.O?

♡ Do kyungsoo

♡ “penguin”

♡ Also “satansoo”

♡ A free soul

♡ I wanna say that god really took his time on him

♡ he looks good in whatever he wears

♡ is nice and kind towards people

♡ soft voice 

♡ is good at acting

♡ cooks

♡ everybody loves him

♡ *cries while hugging a plush penguin*

Originally posted by kyungsuhos

♡ He’s actually the devil

♡ Suho is savage but he is compared nothing to kyungsoo

♡ “Chanyeol,you’re not funny”

♡ “If I open my mouth you’re finished”

♡”It’s not even funny so just move on” to suho

♡ “It’s true that i don’t talk much but that was just me ignoring you” to chan

he really hates him lol

♡ “The situation of two people liking each other hurts my head and i don’t like it”

♡ “I wish chen would be more serious.He’s no fun”

♡ “Do you even have friends?” to an actress

Originally posted by 3x0ismystyle

♡ People think that he’s staring at them

♡ but actually has a bad eyesight

♡ wears glasses

but i’m pretty sure he stares at people like that

Originally posted by veriloquentmind

♡ I’m telling y’all he’s no joke

♡ You may not believe it but he’s a lost penguin in real life

♡ A wise man once said “squishy”

♡ He’s soooooooo cute

♡ So fluffy

Originally posted by emommoma

♡ He used to disagree with the fact that he’s super cute but he accepted it in Ex’ordium Seoul Dot

*screams fuck yes and awwww at the same time*

♡ He is a ball made full of fluff,cutesy and love

♡ He is the actor of exo along with lay

♡ He hangs out with all those hot actors out there

Kim woo bin and minho

♡ Park Shin Hye

♡ In an interview,Lee Kwang Soo said that Kim woo Bin loves him so much

♡ “to the point where he’ll say kyungsoo my dear love,where are you?”

♡ Kim woo bin also said that their group chat went wild when Hyung was the most watched movie in korea for 3 weeks

♡ THEY HAVE A GROUP CHAT Y’ALL

♡ NO I’M NOT FUCKING JEALOUS

♡ Won 3 awards for his acting

♡ Is now filming a musical 

♡ includes tap dance

♡ He is famous of

♡ He also cooks well

he is literally perfect

♡ He was the one who cooked for the members since their debut

♡ I bet he still does

♡ He actually has to

♡ Coz

♡ His voice is smooth as fuck

♡ soft as honey

♡ He literally has a voice from heaven

♡ “Tell me what is love”

♡ No more words needed

♡ Also sang for his movie Hyung

♡ “Scream” CART OST

♡ Has a blessed voice

♡ His relationship with members

Here we go booiiii

♡ He hates Chanyeol

♡ so much

♡ but loves him as much

♡ still,hates him

♡ They’re tom and jerry

♡ They actually have a love relationship behind all those fights

and chokings

♡ Every exo-l’s heart flutters when we see both of them happily getting on together

Originally posted by ethereal-baek

♡ Chanyeol confessed him many times

♡ choose him whenever on whichever event

♡ ksoo rejected

♡ coz he got kai

♡ or chan is already his secret one-night-stand

Originally posted by moontaevhyung

kaisoo

♡ the real shit

♡ He’s a hoe for kai

♡ A really big one

♡ Kai is also a hoe for ksoo

♡ they’re the married couple along with xiuchen

♡ they don’t hide it

♡ they stare at each other

♡ they dance to playboy together

♡ they mention about each other on a individual broadcast

♡ they actually have fun together

♡ they seriously have a lovely relationship

Originally posted by k-craze

♡ happy penguin and his ethereal husband

♡ He is yet another member of exo who looks like a korean god

Originally posted by noutsuretho

♡ kaisoo strikes again

♡ The thing about him is that he can go sexysoo to fluffy penguin in 0.2 seconds

Originally posted by theonly-vagina-kyungsoo-will-fuk

♡ See?

♡ He literally looks so good in anything

♡ A coat

♡ A jacket

♡ A shirt

No shirt

♡ Pantless soo is my new fav thing

♡ He looks gooooooood

♡ His dance is amazing

♡ isn’t appreciated enough

Originally posted by ohyaahkkaebsong

♡ is the member who’s forced to do embarrassing stuff but ends up being cute

Originally posted by minniedeer

♡ He has a lovely relationship with any member who isn’t trying to be funny

Originally posted by im-a-loser-carry-on

♡ If you watch an exo interview,it may seem like soo only loves kai and yixing

the truth

♡ He adores every member

♡ He also loves Yoo jae suk

♡ He’s the only exo member who didn’t show his abs and dyed his hair

♡ P R O T E C T  T H I S  B O Y 

♡ He’s the squishy satan who we all love and protect

♡ And even though he doesn’t say all the time,he appreciates all of exols and loves us so much

♡ just like we love him

Originally posted by jonginssoo

Actual Quotes from my Dad (An English Teacher)
  • Dad: Why the hell did you put a comma there?
  • Dad: Do you even know what a participial phrase is?
  • Dad: Omg. He's like my favorite character of all time.
  • Dad: Who should I dress up as for the movie premier?
  • Dad: Hey are you awak? I know it's late, but you read Animal Farm, right? Yeah. I need you to read this report. I can't tell if I am just super tired or if this is actual bullshit.
  • Dad: Alesha wouldn't be able to spell 'definitely' right if wrote it down for her. She would fucking erase it and then write 'defiantly', because she doesn't care. I hate her.
  • Dad: I need you to bake brownies. I lost a bet.
  • Dad: Omg. You cannot ship me with Gilcher. You know I don't like tattoos and he's like twenty-five. And for Christ's sake, he teaches math.
  • Dad: Omg. Gilcher said the funniest thing today.
  • Dad: Mrs. Ashworth and I have decided to start a band. It'll be called Great Expectations.
  • Dad: It's like you didn't read the fucking book.
  • Dad: Okay. So this week you're reading this book I stole from Mrs. Ashworth's. It's like sixty pages long, but you'll love it.
  • Dad: *puts books on my bed for me to read everyday and demands that I read them*
  • Dad: My son doesn't like reading. I have not only failed him, but society. You aren't my son. Leave.
  • Dad: Okay. So you're getting books for Christmas. All of you. I get discounts on them since I'm a teacher, and since I'm a teacher, it's all I can afford, so...
  • Dad: Fucking standardized testing can go fuck itself in the ass.
  • Dad: I have to teach for the required testing instead of what they really need to know.
  • Dad: Fuck the government.
  • Dad: Fuck the school board.
  • Dad: Close the door.
  • Dad: Charles Dickens was so fucking pretentious, and I hate him, but he also caused change, but he's such a Dick. Ha. DICKens.
  • Dad: I love puns.
  • Dad: People who say sarcasm is the lowest form of humor are assholes.
  • Dad: Please shut up.
  • Dad: Catching Fire was the worst book but the best movie and that feels weird.
  • Dad: I wouldn't get so mad when you call me at school if you didn't change your ringtones to inappropriate rap music.
  • Dad: I fucking hate Alesha. She asked what countries were apart of Austria-Hungary today and I almost told her to get out.
  • Dad: You cannot visit my school in a dress that short. There are boys there.
  • Dad: Barbra Parks is fucking Queen.
  • Dad: I need you to make me a good, relaxing playlist for silent reading. I'm too lazy.
  • Dad: If I have to watch two of my students grind on each other at one more dance, I will kill them both.
  • Dad: They act like I care what they think.
  • Dad: I hate homework.
  • Dad: I have decided to become a politician.
  • Dad: What's the one book with the guys and the one kills the other and the chick without a name who dies and the short angry man? Mouseman? Oh my fucking gosh. Of Mice and Men. I have failed.
Tastes Like Strawberry

Plot (Requested): Just some smut Draco x Reader.

Warnings: My first smut, sorry if it is bad. SMUT: Oral sex (female receiving), kind of public sex. Let me know if you guys want a part 2!

Word Count: 1.015.

Author’s Note: English is not my first language, so if there are mistakes I’m sorry. Message me and I’ll correct them. Also, thanks for almost 2K followers. You guys are making me really happy. My classes has just started, so I won’t be posting a lot. Sorry about that, but don’t give up on me!

Originally posted by tearswillalwaysfall

Originally posted by moan-s

The hallways were empty, what was quite useful for me and Draco. It was late, and we sneaked out our dormitories to hang out since none of us wanted to sleep. We ended up in the astronomy tower, the cold fresh air sending goosebumps up and down my spine.

“The sky is beautiful…” I said, looking up to the constellations.

“Not as much as you are.” Draco whispered in my ear and kissed my neck, hugging me from behind. I smiled at his silly complement and felt his arms pulling me more into him.

“That’s why you brought me here? So we could be alone and no one would listen if I screamed for help?” I asked, turning around to look in his Grey eyes.

“Believe me, Princess, if I was in intent to make you scream, it would be for more, not for help.”  He smiled sassy and kissed me. In that very moment it was like the whole world has vanished, and there was just the two of us, and I knew he felt that too. Being with Draco makes me feel good with myself and with life. I guess that’s what love means: to feel complete.

We were still kissing (who needs oxygen right?) when I heard an owl. I looked at the side of the tower’s balcony and saw Storm, my owl, with a package. I leaved Draco and walked to her, getting the small box from her hands and reading the note from my mom:

My dear, your idea for our garden worked. I’m sending the results. Miss you.

                                                                                                                              - Mom.

Curious, I opened the box to find it filled with strawberries, my favorite fruit of all. I smiled and felt Draco approaching me, trying to see what was it I had received. “I think I just found us something really good to do.” I said.

“Com’ sit here then.” He said, sitting in the ground and tapping his lap. I rolled my eyes and went to him. Although I would never confess, I loved when he was kinda bossy like that. It was just… Hot. There are not other words to describe it. I sat on his lap and got one of the strawberries from the box, handing it to him. When he went to grab it with his mouth I ate it. “Really Princess, you’re going to play this game with me?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I said, innocently and grabbed another fruit. This time, I actually did teased him, eating that thing in the most sexy and insinuating way I could. I don’t think that looked like I pictured, but Draco seemed quite turned on, so I didn’t mind at all. “I’m just eating.”

“I’m going to ‘just eat you’ out any of these days.” He said seriously enough for me to believe. I knew he was messing with me back, because his words affected me like no one’s else could, but I wouldn’t loose, not this time.

“I bet I taste better than this things…” I said, biting another strawberry.

“I bet on that too.” He said, using one of his arms to position me better on his lap. “Actually, I know you taste away much better then these.” He said, kissing my neck softly and running one of his hands through my leg, dangerously close to my pussy. “In fact, I wouldn’t mind tasting you right now.” With that I felt his hand slipping inside my pants. His fingers teased me and I moaned. “Merlin’s sake, Princess. I haven’t done anything and you’re already this wet?”

I knew he was smiling victorious, but I couldn’t care less.

“Draco… Please…”

Say it once more, Baby Girl. You know how much I love it when you beg.” He took the box of strawberries from my hand with his free one and putted it aside as he kept teasing me. I moaned again, and heard him laugh. “Just ask Princess. That’s all you have to do.” He whispered, biting my ear lobe.

“Fuck me.” I begged.

“As you wish, my love.” His fingers found my clit, pressing it gently and earning a loud moan from me. “Be quite, Princess, or you’re not winning anything.” I bit my lip, trying to focus on staying shut, but it was quite hard when Draco’s fingers slowly started bumping on me. I felt myself getting closer as his rhythm speeds up, and when I was at the age he took his hand off me, leaving me feeling empty.

“What the fuck Draco…”

“I said I wanted to taste you, darling. That’s exactly what I’m going to do. I just need a better place…” He held my waist and apparated us to an empty classroom. “This will do it.” He said, trowing me upon the table and laying me down.

“What if someone cough us?” I asked, nervous.

“Be quite and no one will.” He said, smiling as he knew he was going to make it really difficult for me. He positioned his self between my legs, pulled my pants off and started kissing my thighs, slowly coming up. “You smell good. Fuck, how’s that even possible?” He whispered for himself and got to my panties, sliding them down and taking them off me. I was starting to get impatience when I felt him kiss me gently, just to get rough right after, sucking on my clit. I had to bit my lip to the point of it almost bleeding so I could be kept shut. He smirked and inserted two fingers inside me, thrusting fast.

“Draco… Fuck… I’m going to…” I tried to not scream his name.

“Come for Daddy Princess.” That nickname was all I needed to cum hard. Draco licked me up and then helped me sitting on the table. I tried to catch my breath and he smiled, probably proud of the good job he has done. “As I said. Better then strawberry.”

I laughed. How could he go from such a Sex God to a jerk, I’d never understand. But Merlin’s sake, I loved it.

Mine | Theo Raeken Imagine

pairings: theo raeken x reader

warnings: ass grabbing idk

prompt: “grab her ass in front of guys that want her, and grab her ass in front of girls that want you.”

a/n: i’m a sucker for over-protective theo.

Dating wasn’t easy, Dating Theo Raeken was a full on suicide mission. But no matter how hard it seemed, It would always be worth it; For the both of you.

You and Theo started dating a couple months after he came to Beacon Hills, Even though you were a beta in Scotts pack and surprisingly even after all the terrible things he did to your pack you saw the man in the monster, You accepted him and his flaws; And that’s exactly what made Theo fall oh-so deep in love with you. But when you started dating, Even though Theo is a big fan of PDA and not to mention one hell of a jealous wolfie, You two kept your relationship low-key.

This may have caused a couple of problems, Considering your boyfriend basically has a group of fangirls constantly by his side you may have been caught jealous a few times. But I mean, Who could blame them? Your boyfriend has one hell of a body; But then again, It’s your boyfriend.

And let’s be honest here, Theo was basically always jealous and not to mention over protective over you when it comes to other guys. Any time he saw a guy coming up to you, And especially if he was flirting with you, He would always walk up next to you and pull you into a passionate kiss showing everyone who you belong too.

Today was not exceptional for you two.

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what the FUCK you guys.  I meant for this to be a cute drabble like thing but it just kept going?  like I wanted this to be a fun piece to write to take a break from Homecoming but then I got invested.  lol @ me.  it’s also been a long, loOOng time since I’ve written smut so I hope it’s okay.  this is 80% slow burn, 5% smut, 15% jasmine trying to be a good friend.

title: elevator of shame
fandom: hamilcast
pairings: daveed diggs x reader
rating: soft m
word count: 6418 

prompt: We live in the same block of flats but haven’t ever talked and Sunday morning we were both doing the walk of shame and had to stand in the lift together

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Wanna Bet? III

Rich Fuckboy!Jimin x Reader

PART I  |  PART II

Warnings: SMUT. Oral (both), face sitting, rough, daddy kink, dirty talk

Word Count: 1,707

A/N: This is my fic, I’m just re-posting onto my sideblog


“I hope you don’t think I’m done with you, baby girl. I haven’t even fucked you yet.” Jimin looked at you with a smirk. He pushed you off of his thigh and moved down the bed so that his head was now on the pillow. He motioned for you to move closer to him, eyeing you as you crawled closer. When you got within his arm’s reach, Jimin grabbed your waist and brought you on top of him, facing his legs. He pulled you by your thighs, so that you were now hovering above his face, the realization of what he was about to do sinking in, “I’ve been dying to find out how you taste baby, don’t make me wait any longer.”

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JB Homophobia Analysis

Okay so there’s been a lot of bickering within the got7 fandom over what JB said during his celebrity bromance with Youngjae. Firstly, I’m disappointed in JB but I’m more dissapointed in people defending his actions. It wasn’t just one mistranslation, it was literally throughout the entire video. This is gonna be long but I took screenshots and I’m going to break it down for people who still can’t see why what he said was wrong.

But before that I just want to say this does not mean I think we should be sending him hate. In fact, we should be educating him on why what he said isn’t okay and a simple apology isn’t the end of the world. Idols aren’t perfect, they make mistakes and have flaws. JB’s homophobia is one of them. There’s nothing wrong with correcting ignorant behavior, but ignoring it just means it can happen again. Alright, I will now go in depth about the screenshots I took. 

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Songbird-Ch.4

Mystic Messenger Mafia AU

ch1║║ch2║║ch3

Word Count: 1,473

[Violence/Murder]


     The small general store was quiet except for the sound of a young man’s broom sweeping across the floor and the faint echo of a radio playing from a backroom. The only customer was a tall man whom had been lurking a far aisle, his eyes scanning the various cans on the slightly dusty shelf while his left hand gripped his briefcase.

      The sweeping ceased at the sound of the bell above the door. The young man stood by the counter and watched as the man walked through the aisles, pausing to smile and handle random cans with a laugh. His finger swiped a shelf and he inspected the dust with a disappointed face. He wore an all black suit. A blood red kerchief was tied around his neck and his hat tipped on his head just enough to look sinister.

     “Go get your grandpa, kid,” he commanded and leaned an elbow on the shop counter while waiting, nodding once to the customer across the way.

     The boy dropped the broom and scrambled to the backroom to retrieve the old man. His slumped frame, followed closely by his grandson, walked slowly to the other side of the counter.

     “You don’t mind, right?” the man in black spoke it as more of a statement than a question. He reached over to a jar of suckers, unwrapping one and popping it in his mouth while flicking the wrapper onto the floor. “I’m very worried. I don’t see any money in your hands, and I gave you very clear instructions,” he explained.

     The old man’s face remained calm, but his grandson’s fists were balled at his sides. For a moment all three stood there staring at one another with only the faint but familiar jazz tune from the radio filling the space.

     “We are under the protection of Don V, we won’t be giving you any money,” the old man was stern, but he took an anxious breath to calm his nerves.

     The man in black pulled the candy from his mouth and let out a comical laugh for a moment, then his face became quite serious.

     “You’re making a big mistake, pops,” he pointed the sucker in the old mans face.

     “Hey! You can’t threaten my gran-“ the boy started, but the old man placed a hand on the boys shoulder to stop him from talking.

     “Whoah, whoah! Hey, it’s okay, kid…pops,” he nodded to them both, “I won’t be coming back. I get the message.”

     The man reached over to pinch and smack the boys cheek, then with a smirk he straightened the old mans collar and brushed off his apron before patting him on the chest.

     He tilted his hat to the customer before leaving. The man, after nodding back, set the briefcase on the shelf, making sure to click the lock before walking out empty-handed and entering the backseat of a black car that had been waiting for him.

     “What a fool,” the blonde woman driving said when she heard him close the door of the car.

     “Eh, place was a dump anyway,” the man in black said from the passengers seat with a sigh, “we’d never get any dough from that joint,” he sat back in the seat and lowered the hat over his eyes.

     “That’s not the point, Saeran,” she snapped, smacking the hat from his head before hitting the gas.

     “Hey, watch it,” he groaned and picked his hat back up, “I hate this city.”

     “Well, get over it. We’ll be running it, soon,” she replied.

     The man in the back turned to look out of the window as they drove away.

     “Should be any moment now,” he spoke, but neither of them in the front payed any mind to what he was saying.

     The explosion in the distance paired with the sound of shattering glass and rubble elicited screams from the people on the streets. They watched women, children, and men as they began to run in hopes of seeing what had happened.

     “Look at them, flocking like vultures to see the carnage,” Saeran hissed in disgust.

     “Let them look. I want them to see what happens when they don’t pay up,” she laughed.

     “Yeah, yeah. Can we stop somewhere? I’m fuckin’ starving, here,” he replied.



      “Christ,” Saeyoung’s face hardened as he heard the news.

     “Frank is waiting at the scene,” one of the soldiers explained before being waved off.

     He had been overseeing Jaehee’s team as they unloaded another shipment of bootleg into a warehouse. He leaned back on the car and pinched the bridge of his nose in silent thought and frustration.

     “Lucky, Kitty!” he called out, sounding harsher than intended.

     “Yes, boss?” Yoosung approached, winded but smiling, with you right beside him.

     “Frank’s waiting down by first street. Don’t ask questions, just go meet him. Report back to me right after, got that?” he ruffled Yoosung’s cap.

     “Got it!” he took off.

     You began to follow but Saeyoung tugged at your arm and pulled you back, causing you to stumble a bit on the pavement.

     “Lucky’s lucky, but, keep your eyes open…you’ll understand why when you get there. Be careful,” he warned.

     “I’m always careful,” you insisted.

     “Attagirl,” he let go, flashing a bit of a smile as you walked away.

     Yoosung had waited for you to catch up, and as you walked you wondered who Frank could be. And what was going on. You were both oddly quiet. Normally, you couldn’t get Yoosung to shut up. He still had that smile on his face, but the whole way there he only spoke to point out puddles, so you wouldn’t step in them.

     From far away, the damage seemed extensive. It only got worse as you approached, and anyone could see it was the work of a bomb. Aside from a few kids out to take a look at the wreckage, there weren’t many people in sight. Most had probably shut themselves at home in fear, you guessed.

     Down a nearby alley you saw the figure of a man in uniform waiting. His face became familiar the closer you got. His large belly, bulbous nose and reddish stubble on his face more apparent with the closing distance. You paused, your heart racing and your palms sweating. Frank…

     “Don’t worry! He’s on our payroll. That’s Lieutenant Frank,” Yoosung said when he noticed your hesitancy.

     You knew very well who it was. But did he know you? Would he recognize your face? You had always thought this son of a bitch was crooked. Damn, who else from the force would you come in contact with…this was way deeper than you had anticipated. You couldn’t wait to expose him for the scum he was.

     “Lucky! My boy, how’s the family?” he asked in a chipper tone.

     “Mom’s doing a little better. She actually got out of bed yesterday, started pointing out all the things that needed cleaning,” Yoosung smiled.

     “I bet your old man loved that,” he laughed, “glad to hear it. And…you seem familiar? When did we meet? I can’t quite remember your name,” his eyes narrowed in on you.

     “I’m going to go ask around, see if anyone saw anything,” you said through a lump in your throat before running off.

      You were careful of the glass that littered the street. It looked like they hadn’t been able to clean everything up yet. You kicked a few pieces of brick and wood shards, your heart sinking as you peeked into the empty space to survey the damage. It was littered with burned and exploded cans, a remnant of a broom close to your feet.

     “Hey, you,” you grabbed a young boy by the collar as he came running passed you, “did you see what happened here?”

     “Well, there was a car and-“

     “Louie!” a window flew open a few stories up on an adjacent building and cut him off, “come home, now!” she waved her rag in anger at him as she scolded.

      The boy ran home without another word and Yoosung appeared only a moment later, his face was white and his smile non-existent. For a moment you held your breath, waiting for him to say something. Say that he knew all about you, that he was going to tell the Mad Hatter.

     “What is it, Yoosung?” you tried to hide the quiver in your tone, “what did he say?”

     “He said they don’t know much about what happened. Everyone around here is too scared to talk. And…” he trailed off.

     “And what?” you pressed him.

     “Well. He doesn’t know who the guy is, but he says he is pretty sure. It’s really hushed over there and he is trying to find out more. He says…someone from the police force has worked their way into the family. He says we have a rat.”

The RFA+V+Saeran giving you cute nicknames

heyheyhey i’m just procratinating studying for the 5 hour chemistry test i have tomorrow (kill me plz), so enjoy this fluff!


Yoosung

  • You know those sickening sweet nicknames
  • Like honey bunny, cutie pie and sweetie
  • That’s everything he ever calls you
  • Everyone hated him for it but he looked so happy whenever he made you blush, so you could never ask him to stop
  • Would die if you called him that as well, so guess what you did?
  • Lots of forehead kisses, hand holding and cutesy nicknames
  • #Goals


Zen

  • We all know he calls you babe and princess way too much
  • If you call him babe or prince, he will blush with 200% certainty
  • In private, he likes giving you playful and suggestive nicknames like hot stuff or pretty lady everything sounds playful and suggestive when he says it
  • If he’s tired after a long day, he will just ask for his baby girl to join him to bed


Jaehee

  • She calls you cookie
  • The first time she did it you were stressed about the next RFA party, because the emails you were supposed to answer didn’t make sense
  • How were you supposed to answer an actual cat?
  • When she hugged you and said “you’re a smart cookie, you will figure it out”, then she realized that it was the perfect nickname
  • You were sweet and comforting after a long day
  • She liked to joke about how she wishes she met you earlier when she worked for Jumin and only had time for a glass of milk for breakfast, saying how you already then would be perfect for her


Jumin

  • He likes the traditional pet names, like sweetie, darling or princess don’t get me wrong i love those but what an old man
  • You bet your ass he will spoil you and dress you up as an actual princess
  • No suprises here, he also calls you kitten
  • You just reminded him so much of his Elizabeth
  • Both of you were loving towards him, smol, precious and soft


707

  • Most of the time he jokingly calls you his monkey, as you’re able to put up with (and return) his crazy jokes
  • Sometimes he also calls you alien, claiming that you’re “out of this world”
  • When he’s in a more serious mood, he uses names like my love and doll bc you’re so precious and he’s till lowkey scared to hurt you
  • Will most definitely dress up as a ghost and call you his boo


V

  • Like Jumin, he would use those old, cheesy nicknames he’s also an old soul don’t blame him blame where he grew up
  • Like angel, honey, darling or love
  • After he has gotten his eye surgery, he couldn’t stop looking at you and repeating that you were beautiful
  • That kind of stuck around, now he calls you beauty or beautiful more often than you bother to keep track of


Saeran

  • He honestly isn’t too big on nicknames, claiming they’re stupid
  • He does call you babe sometimes, especially if you’re in public and he is worried that someone is flirting with you, but usually he just calls you by your name
  • Unless you’re alone, then he would feel more comfortable with calling you things like baby girl or princess
  • When he’s feeling extra affectionate he likes to hold you close, kiss your forehead and say that you’re his everything not really a nickname but shh
The Arrangement (Part 16)

Originally posted by frozen-delight

Summary: Dean responds to Sam’s news. The two of you pay a visit to Samuel, who lashes out. Secrets are revealed and threats are made, leaving you reeling. You and Dean discuss the future.

Pairing: AU!Dean x Reader

Word Count: 3,600

Warnings: mentions of illness/heart attack, language, verbal attack/abuse, offensive name-calling, minor anxiety, lots of shouting, implications of smut

A/N: This is it, guys. I can’t believe it. This is really bittersweet for me. It’s been an incredible ride, and I’m so thankful for all of you that have shown your love and appreciation - you’re the reason this has kept going. 16 parts and 45,000 words (holy SHIT) over nearly three months, and we’re finally at the conclusion. THERE WILL BE AN EPILOGUE but this is the last official part. Enjoy everyone. Thank you for all your support.

A/N/N: Special shout-out to @deanssweetheart23 for being a sounding board, a cheerleader, and for being my beta especially for this last part. She’s the reason these parts have been coming out so frequently/regularly so y’all should be thankful. (also go read her stuff it’s incredible) And seriously, A- you’re such an amazing motivator and inspiration. Love you, dude.

Find the Masterlist for this series HERE

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3

For @fangirl0170…reader works for NCIS as requested. Enjoy!

Y/N strolled into the lab, slightly late. She snagged her lab coat and threw it on. She looked up to be greeted by her co-worker as well as her father.

“Sorry I’m late,” she apologized.
“What?” Gibbs asked, “Sleep through the alarm?”
She smirked. “More like I beat the alarm and lost track of time.”

Gibbs smirked before he turned back to Abby. She cocked a brow before turning back to her monitor. She clicked her screen a few times.

“Like I was saying, the blood residue on the windshield doesn’t match the blood on the seat,” Abby explained.
“So, we have a missing body,” Gibbs deduced, “Thanks Abbs.”

He pressed a kiss to her temple. She grinned before he handed her a caf-pow. Smirking, he gave Y/N’s temple a kiss as well.

“Glad to see you make it, kid.”

Gibbs left the lab. Y/N turned to Abby who was holding a folder out to her. Y/N immediately opened it and started scanning. Her eyebrows raised.

“We’re working with the FBI’s BAU?” she questioned, “Why would he allow that?”
“He trusts us,” Abby quipped, “Well, the evidence, but us too. They’ve got some lookers, too.”
Y/N chuckled before moving to the monitor. “What do we got?”
“Yeah, you aren’t related,” Abby teased.


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Hide and Seek


Tony wasn’t too sure how they managed to get on to the topic. 


Actually- scratch that- yes he was. It was Clint. All bad things in the world happened because of Clint. 

Probably.

Anyway- Clint had been talking about his years in the circus, and how they’d taught him all sorts of weird ways to contort your body for the extra showmanship. “Made for some pretty awesome games of hide and seek, though,” he’d said, nodding serenely to himself as he’d sipped from his coffee.

“I bet I’d still find you in under an hour,” Natasha had challenged, raising a daring eyebrow up at him before turning back to the morning paper.

Clint scoffed, turning to Steve, who was stood cooking eggs on the stove. “Cap, you can vouch for me here, right? I am the master at hide and seek. No one beats me at hide and seek.”

And Steve had laughed- a lovely throaty thing that made Tony smile just from hearing it. “Uhhh, I don’t know? It depends on a lot of variables. If it were in a park, maybe- but here? Tony would beat you hands-down. He knows every nook and cranny of this tower, you wouldn’t stand a chance.”


And then- here had come Tony’s fatal mistake of the day. Later, he’d pin it on lack of caffeine in his system and the early hour at which he was conscious- but really, he was just an idiot who’d forgotten how offended his teammates could (and did) get on his behalf.


“Actually, I’ve never played. Although I could still probably beat Barton.”

(Read more, mobile users! Finish it on your laptop or PC if you can’t on mobile!)

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Misdialed Call (Part Four)

Summary: After an overall bad day, you call your best friend to rant and to vent. But when you accidentally misdial, you end up talking to a complete stranger. What you don’t know is that this stranger may not be a stranger at all. He may even be the world’s first superhero.

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Words: 938

Previous Part: Part Three

Originally posted by ohevansmycaptain

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anonymous asked:

Either Alfor or the Queen are like "Fuck the Space Police" and add Coran to the royal line registry. Coran only finds out in the present.

I like you. Ok, so, polyverse, natch.


“Oh my, oh my, oh my, it has been so long since we have had such distinguished guests!” the tiny Turimonqua maid was chirping, her rainbow lace wings flashing in the light as she fluttered from person to person to pin their access badges to the collars of their clothing. “To think, an entire royal entourage!”

“Your mistress’ hospitality has been very impressive,” Allura said politely as she bowed, prompting the rest of them to follow suit. “Thank you for putting us up on such short notice.”

“Oh, it is no problem at all. Anything, anything at all for a king and his daughter!”

Silence.

“I- I beg your pardon, run that by me again?” Coran asked hesitantly.”

The maid produced a tiny scroll made of glimmering light. “You are Coran, first of his name, Second Father to Allura, Fourth of the Allura Title, correct?”

“I- well, yes, but I was unaware that-”

“Then it is settled! Come, come, your rooms are this way!”

“A king?!” Lance asked, gaping, as Coran paced back and forth in the common area that joined their rooms. 

“Believe me, this is just as much a surprise to me as it is to you,” he protested. “I mean… they’d always said they would, but-”

“Said they would what?” Shiro prodded.

“Well, it was always a given that if anything were to happen to their majesties before Allura came of age, I would care for her,” Coran said, and Allura took hold of his hand and squeezed. “But it was always going to have to be behind the scenes as her retainer. The nobility never would have accepted me stepping up to the throne.”

“Why not?” Pidge asked. “You were practically their second in command. Who better?”

Coran scratched the back of his neck, looking distinctly uncomfortable. “Mm…”

Allura squeezed tighter. “I’m right behind you, Aipa.”

He sighed. “The fact of the matter is, Altea had a very deep split along class lines. Alfor and Illyere worked very hard to do better by the lower classes, but the nobility fought it tooth and nail. It was the scandal of scandals when it came out that the three of us had formed a relationship. Whispers ran from them slumming it to me attempting a coup from the bedroom.”

Hunk made a very unamused growl, pounding fist to palm. “Too bad we couldn’t have been around then to knock a few heads straight.”

“Hell yes,” Lance agreed, grin vicious,  and there were some grim agreeing nods.

That finally seemed to take the worst of the tension out of the room when Coran laughed. “Thank you. And to be honest, your predecessors were much the same way about it. But… there you have it.” He raked his fingers through his hair. “I can’t believe they actually did it, though.”

“Well, you know how Mama loved to thumb her nose at her fellow bluebloods. There’s probably video recording somewhere of her and Papa and Archivist Michika laughing as they filed it to record.”

“Hey, I bet we could find it,” Pidge said with a wicked grin. “What do you think the search code would be?”

“Ten to one it was a present…. Aipa’s birthday.”

Coran groaned. “They would.”

“Birthday hunt for King Coran!”

“Don’t you dare start calling me that, I swear on-”